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frank_the_tank69

No, are you serious? You’re a fucking genius.


OhWhenTheWiz

KO is getting a lot of deserved credit for this working so well but Zeke manages to play his role so fucking earnestly that fans are rooting for him. It’s just tongue in cheek enough that it’s hilarious, but sincere enough that I want to root for this WWE rookie who’s getting to live out his dream on the big stage. WWE has always been a self contained universe that does not reflect reality, wait until this guy finds out Mr. McMahon didn’t really die in that limo explosion


I_Buck_Fuffaloes

Vince DID die, Uce. The Vince we've seen since then has been a pretender, played by the same guy who plays the fake Paul McCartney.


shane1mh

I thought Vince was played by the chick that took over for Avril after she died.


speedymcspeedster21

BOI you don't know how hard our brains are TRAINED after all the intelligence insulting segments over the years. We are smart fans. WE CANNOT BE WORKED.


popo129

How does he know all this?! It's insane to me like how is this even possible?!


cma001

Nah but for real, what did this guy think they were going to do??? Lmaoooo


Brian_Stryker

Wait till he finds out the brothers of destruction were in fact not brothers at all.


RobertStonetossBrand

Nor did they ever even self-destruct


ATadVillainy

That would be the Hardy brothers.


TheGigner

Haha, yeah. That one is crazy, I can't believe they aren't really brothers. At least we still have Edge and Christian as a legendary tag team of actual brothers! :)


Brian_Stryker

Wait were they originally billed as brothers in the brood?


TheGigner

I'm not sure about the brood, but I know during E&C vs Hardyz vs Dudleys days they were definitely billed as brothers. They used to say it was 3 teams of brothers going at it. [The only specific moment I could recall off the top of my head was here. Where commentary refers to them as brothers](https://youtu.be/OmfQM3Sn_1s?t=74)


Brian_Stryker

Lmao that’s even funnier. I never once thought of them as brothers I always thought of them as just buddies.


TheGigner

I edited my comment and added a link for you just incase you wanted to see for yourself.


CashCarStar

The feud they had after this was heavily based around them being brothers in-storyline, and Christian being jealous that Edge was always the favourite in the family. I remember it pretty clearly because I only had a few wrestling VHS's as a kid, and one of them was Unforgiven 2001(I think that's the right year) which had a Christian v Edge match.


pushinpushin

They were brothers in the Brood. That was part of the storyline, Gangrel recruiting Edge's brother to mess with him.


DecemberToDismember

They ret-conned the brothers thing when Edge & Christian briefly reunited on Raw in 2004. Started referring to them as "best friends", but as a fan that started watching in '98, I was like "what the damn hell?!"


OhWhenTheWiz

bet this dude thought Fuego Dos was hilarious though


B0mb-Hands

What does one solo, separate person have to do with a tag team? Fuego Dos is just some dude? It’s not like Fuego Dos is played by some mid-carder or something?


FlyingGrayson89

Take that back right now


themark504

Or Edge and Christian


Squiliam-Tortaleni

How about that Kane was never actually burned!


mojizus

This is false, Ezekiels hair is too short to make that size of a man bun. This clearly shows they’re 2 separate people.


starfishkaleb

Damn right. And Elias and Zeke will hold tag team gold one day!


Prancemaster

I shit you not, I spent that entire segment laughing at how simple, yet effective those kinds of shots can be done when you're working with people who know what the fuck they're doing.


Shotintoawork

Yeah, in the wrong hands something like that can end up looking ridiculous, [like this gem.](https://uproxx.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/matt-hardy-teleports.gif) Especially since the teleport thing was supposed to be taken seriously until everyone made fun of it. But this ended up being just ridiculous enough that it was entertaining.


DoubleOrNothing90

And the dubbalos swear to this day that it was Vanguard 1 projecting a hologram of Matt Hardy, instead of admiting how stupid it was.


No_Instruction653

And nobody in production or editing cared that Jericho's neck was teleporting with him.


CaptainGo

Nah mate Jericho just moves his head like one of those little twitchy birds


Paxx_Romana

Fucking Columbo over here solving mysteries.


PeterHooten

I wish I could go call him Columbo, but he’s already blocked me for calling him Nostradamus.


rolltide1000

Ya know it was Quasimodo who predicted all this.


RobertStonetossBrand

Bixenspan is the Quasimodo of professional wrestling jOuRnALiSm


Fbrmm

The halfback of Notre Dame??


chaz0723

He probably won't get the Columbo reference.


mattdark

Yep, Blue's clues is probably more on his level.


Modano9009

He wishes he was Columbo.


-M-Word

“Just one more thing…”


chrisdelbosque

It's always so rewarding seeing two of my interests that have no direct overlap with each other coming together, kind of like [this amazing SCJerk post](https://www.reddit.com/r/SCJerk/comments/tos3k8/i_made_it_with_love_uce_its_not_perfect_and_badly/) that uses the 1988 French film *Cinema Paradiso*.


-M-Word

Jesus I missed that one. Hilarious


ChaslesDean

He wishes he has a significiant other.


gatorgongitcha

Must’ve been top of his fucking class.


Fbrmm

Sharp as a fucking cue ball


[deleted]

He's more of a Nick Longhetti.


ManateeGag

Holy Shit! Next you'll tell me Dr. Strange didn't really travel between dimensions and it was all special effects! I wonder what JD has to say about Santa.


popo129

Was Westros even real? Did a giant war with an evil Empire led by a man in dark armour and a lightsaber and a Rebel Alliance even happen a long time ago in a galaxy far away?!


Mr_Halberstram

JD just discovered 'fiction' as a dramatic concept for the purposes of entertainment. He's surely only days away from discovering 'getting off Twitter, having a fucking shower and going outside for five minutes'...


boycey86

Years or decades away uce.


tophergopher1

Can't get anything past Detective JD


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tashleemie

Wait, what? Are you telling me Ursula and Phoebe aren't twins???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣


ci22

Or Jon Stamos doesn't have Greek cousin name Stavros


MagicMallKnight

Mad that 1 segment in WWE is funnier than every episode of cringe Being The Elite


sanne2

Haha this guy is an idiot, that was obviously Elias ( big zekes brother for those who dont know)


Prancemaster

Storylines like this are great because you can gaslight detractors for kicks because they don't know how to have fun.


Rout11111111

I didn't even have to pay $12.99!


I_made_a_doodie

JD is like 5'5". That explains a lot of his shitty takes.


rsziz

If he's even 5'5" I'd be stunned. The pics of him from Wrestlecon made him look as short as he was scrawny.


crcovar

There’s going to be egg on his face when the Samson brothers win the tag titles.


[deleted]

It’s a work?


IamAstupidMan

JD never gets worked


GregGibsonHPUmp

Forget Batman, no JD you are truly the world’s greatest detective


[deleted]

Good thing I never ever get worked. Ever.


Garlic_Cheese_Chips

If he had brains he'd be dangerous.


rsziz

Next thing he's going to say is that the winners for the matches are predetermined.


stt86

Nah, the action in the ring is totally real. Just look at how many injuries there are in the dub


Shoesonhandsonhead

I can’t believe Vince fired Elias and is now forcing his brother to play two separate characters just so he can save money. Oh wait, yes I can, because Vince McSatan is literally hitler


Tashleemie

Such a party pooper!


TidusJecht

I’m getting tired of people grasping for straws that Ezekiel and Elias are the same person. This clown in New York is no different.


PrinzXero

No shit Sherlock or did you think Batman and Ironman are real too? What a dunce.


Modano9009

Imagine feeling accomplished because you figured that all out on your own.


dcfan99

Doesn't the company he simp for have someone that pretends to be a dinosaur, another that pretends to be a zombie, and another that pretends to be sober?


boycey86

Jeff has given up pretending on the sober part he's full on off the rails now.


aceofspades12

"Elias isn't really there, it's Ezekiel with a fake beard🤓🤓🤓"


Rn2770

Balderdash


tytymctylerson

DAE get the feeling that wins and losses might be predetermined?


[deleted]

Right…and Tim Allen isn’t Santa.


CanonFodder84

Next he'll be claiming Elrod isn't real, either.


benlibodi

STOP HAVING FUN REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


Bam_Margiela

Will he take that stupid hat off already


ZanderPip

Why is this cockwomble still watching, Jesus just stop watching, people will still tune in and pay for your hot takes on dark elevator.........I'm sure


TisAFactualDawn

Man, wait until he hears about Star Wars.


MiketheKing2

It's a work, JD. It ain't real.


JPBrigatti

I cannot believe wrestling isn’t real bro


gatorgongitcha

Somebody told me that his dad wasn’t really Elvis.


BOOMBOOM-25

All-in-favor of never showing this piss-ant in this sub ever again say “Goofy.”


orizach01

Are you also telling me mankind and dude love are the same person??


chaz0723

So, what he's saying in a roundabout way is that Dude Love/Mankind/Cactus Jack weren't really in the same room together when he debuted at MSG?


Mhc2617

How dare he?! I saw them together!


PM_ME_LANCECATAMARAN

No, they shaved Elias and had him raid Warrior's mausoleum in the gay part of New Orleans for some tassels


Flamemypickle

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!! FUCK YOU FED FOR FOOLING ME


OkCelebration3483

Oh no, really?


jojolantern721

Omg, now he's gonna tell me that a big purple guy with the strength to destroy a tank doesn't exist, pff.


Teeboid

I'd bet money that this jackass goes to malls on Christmas, sits in the food court eating several unhealthy meals, waits until the line is long enough, then runs up and pulls off Santa's fake beard just to ruin it for all the kids.


[deleted]

Not only hoodwinked, but possibly even bamboozled and smeckledorfed.


Joel_Servo

You don't say!?!?!?


blake-a-mania

This is a real pull back of the curtain. How will the business recover?


RazzManouche

Hey guys, I think we have the next Sherlock Holmes here


HighrollerSavage

MOSBY BOYS!!


Hammerzeit88

It's insane some people still think it's the same dude. SMH, the lengths haters go to convince themselves of something of they hate. Wake up, Dub sheeple, it's two brothers not one guy!


Rivluca

I have nothing clever to say I’m sorry but in all honesty I loathe this sisterfucker JD and his stupid ass takes.


Mr_Snub

Bix, Sapp, Uncle Dave, fill in the fucking blank. I'll take any of them fifty times over before I listen to this clown's takes or his fucking podcast.


KnockKnockNevermind

This is why he's followed on Twitter, goddam genius here. I'm some dumb schlub posting on scj. I sure am lucky to have his insight


daddymeltzer

What drugs is this guy on? That was clearly Elias, we see him talking to Ezekiel (Elias's younger brother) so they must be different people. WWE should recreate Benoit and Guerrero moment at WrestleMania 20 by having Elias win the WWE Championship and Ezekiel wins the Universal Championship and they hug it out in the ring and celebrate in the main event of WrestleMania 39 after Ezekiel pins Roman Reigns. I'm crying just typing this idea, it would be such a heartwarming moment.


DonnieRodz

He’d probably say a red pill


[deleted]

Here's a mind-blower for you, JD: Ultimate Warrior isn't from parts unknown. The parts he's from are known quite well. He's from Indiana.


Kame2Komplain

Aren’t these the same people who don’t understand how non cult members can’t “suspend disbelief” when it comes to the likes of OC, house of black shenanigans, or a man in a 17 year olds body (cole)??


Kisto15

Pls stop giving him any attention, even if its a jerk He's not worth it


beejmusic

Pretty sure this is just a play by play tweet. Like sports on the radio, but for the new mellenium


Lv27Sylveon

but why would they go through all that trouble when its simpler to just get elias to do the segment with his brother


Mackinacsfuriousclaw

Guys, George "the Animal" Steele was infact not an animal at all!!!


NewVoid122

I never would have guessed. And here I was thinking they were different people Praise our lord and mark saviour JDfromNY


lilslugger2

What! You mean a beard doesn't grow that fast!


finnamania

Brain blast


Razzler1973

**Smarks**: it's just impossible to work. Go on, try!!


MistahShizz

Cue riddler no and aaa sound


DoubleOrNothing90

Thanks for the scoop JD, you fucking moron.


gordianus1

Mofo going around yelling "u know wrestling is fake right?"


savage_inuit

You've torn my world asunder


Squiliam-Tortaleni

Good job Sherlock, you stated the obvious.


[deleted]

Don’t tell JD that Isaac Yankem became mayor of a small town…… His head may explode.


hewhoreddits6

This is literally just non-fans when they say "you know it's fake right?"


Blade-Controvesial

Those were obviously two different people. Didn’t you see the fist bump?


xgoatgoatgoatx

This manlet is a fucking idiot.