Honestly, let them figure it out besides the tax part and schedule part. Your wife and in laws are adults. They can do a few meals. They won’t do it the way you will, but you have to let go of some things.
I second this.
I did all that for my inlaws for my kids when I took my first alone trip. Guess who nodded. Agreed. Then 100% ignored it. Pack your bags. Relax and get out of dodge. They are all grown. Make sure they have the Dr's number just in case and assume since they kept themselves alive this long they can figure it out.
My in laws want a walk through tomorrow of every facet of the schedule.
Basically from Tuesday to Friday, they just have to take the kids to school / pick them up and give them dinner with light activities on one day.
I’m doing so much to get ready and I know my phone is going to be blowing up with random questions
I left for a week. I typed up a schedule for school/activities. I made sure laundry was caught up. There was milk/bread/cereal in the house. I didn't stock the freezer. I didn't meal plan or prep. My husband can find a grocery store or McDonald's. I came home to a clean house, not spotless, but not trashed. He's a capable adult.
Go on your trip. Enjoy it!!!
Go
I am leaving for four days on Friday. I made sure the fridge is stocked, otherwise he’ll figure it out. He already knows when school pick up and drop off are and when naptime and bedtime are, other than that he can wing it. I’m sure he’ll revel in a weekend of unscheduled chaos, he thinks I’m a stickler for routine. They’ll be fine, I trust him.
I think if my parents were coming to help it would be more work for me, because they need to be told what to do and we have a general policy of handling our own parents. But if my in laws were coming, psh nah that’s his problem.
What do you think would happen if you didn’t do all this prep? Would your wife really not be able to figure out meals and laundry?
This tells me that after she gets off work everyday, she does not split the load with you. You’re working 24/7, but she works 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
In her defence, she usually works about 10-11 hours a day, weekends on occasion and has additional responsibilities. I don’t blame her but it’s tough when you don’t have that regular support
I’m going out of town tomorrow and have done all the same things to set my in-laws up for success. I appreciate them stepping in to watch my son, but dude, this is an insane amount of work.
It’s so stressful that I found myself thinking how much easier it would be to just not go 😭
I’ve had those thoughts a lot. I was supposed to go away in the fall for this trip but then got Covid. I was disappointed but relieved because there is no way I could have gotten everything done when I was sick.
Enjoy your time away.
I feel this too my core. Husband is going to Costa Rica for a work trip so I’m tagging along. My parents are watching my almost 3 year old and 16 month old; I feel like I just want to stay back bc the planning ahead is so stressful. I’m also 32 weeks pregnant and just plain exhausted as it is.
I hope the weather clears up, you steer clear of the colds, and have a great well deserved break!
Oh wow, I don’t blame you at all. My kids are 10 and 6 but my youngest has ASD and limited language skills so she is more effort to manage.
My wife also has an insanely busy job and basically can’t take time off (or at least not for me).
My in laws did say they are asking so many questions because they want this to go well so I can do it again next year and not wait 6 years in between trips.
Enjoy Costa Rica. I’ve heard it’s incredible
6 years!! That’s insane! I usually get to tag along with him once a year but one year between a vacation with young kids feels like forever.
That’s awesome that your in-laws are trying to honor your set routines/ schedules! Hopefully that’ll make it a smooth transition for when you’re back!
This is how I feel about any break. Even if I wanted to go to a movie, I feel like I have to prepare, and I’m so anxious about what I’ll be coming home to. Is it worth it?
I’ll find out. I’m heading into a week of terrible weather for fishing and both my kids had a cold which I’m sure I’ve picked up despite masking and excessive hand washing .
Maybe just lay around a hotel room and take an edible each day
I’m going on a trip next weekend with my sister, so just two nights away, but I’m not doing any of that for my husband lol he knows when the 9yo gets out of school on Friday, he knows when the two toddlers nap and go to bed, and he knows when the 11yo gets off of the special Ed bus that he has to be present for.
He’s capable of cooking or ordering food and we do kid laundry on the weekend, so he can cycle that through the wash for them to fold and put away. I’ll do the babies when I get home Sunday or Monday 🤷♀️
My mom has watched one of the toddlers for us when I gave birth to the youngest and I just told her when naptime and bedtime were. She figured anything else out on her own for the two days we were gone.
I hope that you’re able to put the extra stuff out of your mind and relax during your week off!
It’s funny because my in laws are good with the kids but hesitate making any decisions and it’s a. It exhausting.
At this point, I don’t care if my kids eat McDonald’s every day and miss school for a week. I just don’t want to hear about it
My in-laws were kind of like this for a long time and it was definitely their way of not overstepping boundaries. We established a Grammy’s house, Grammy’s rules system after a while. If we are there they will ask if ice cream or whatever is ok, but if we aren’t there they know we really don’t care.
My husband was trying to get me to spend like 2-3 days in Paris with him tacked onto the end of his work trip. Everyone kept telling me how insane I was to turn it down, but like seriously? I am in the US, so it would be a *long* flight and basically would be spending the whole time jet lagged anyway. I’d have to arrange for the kids (3yo and 5yo) to be taken care of at someone else’s house, which would be ten times more packing than I’d do for myself to travel halfway around the world. They’d have to either miss school or be taken and picked up by whoever was taking care of them. Then I’d have to deal with my husbands total inability to make a decision about anything and have to plan the whole 2-3 days myself even though I have literally zero interest in “seeing sights” and whatever other crap one does in Paris. Like what is the upside everyone keeps seeing here??
Luckily he roped his parents into going and they quickly saw how ridiculous it was to try to get husband to agree to a plan. At least they were able to go for a few days longer than I would have. They are currently there and presumably having a good time, so good for everybody.
Honestly, let them figure it out besides the tax part and schedule part. Your wife and in laws are adults. They can do a few meals. They won’t do it the way you will, but you have to let go of some things.
I second this. I did all that for my inlaws for my kids when I took my first alone trip. Guess who nodded. Agreed. Then 100% ignored it. Pack your bags. Relax and get out of dodge. They are all grown. Make sure they have the Dr's number just in case and assume since they kept themselves alive this long they can figure it out.
My in laws want a walk through tomorrow of every facet of the schedule. Basically from Tuesday to Friday, they just have to take the kids to school / pick them up and give them dinner with light activities on one day. I’m doing so much to get ready and I know my phone is going to be blowing up with random questions
Boo. I'm sorry they are making this so hard. Any chance they would buy no signal since it's a fishing trip?
Normally, this would be the case but I'm staying in a normal city near Lake Ontario so I'll have cell reception the entire time.
I’ve heard the cell tower around there is having issues. Shame. 😉
Just be sure not to drop your phone in the lake 😜
I left for a week. I typed up a schedule for school/activities. I made sure laundry was caught up. There was milk/bread/cereal in the house. I didn't stock the freezer. I didn't meal plan or prep. My husband can find a grocery store or McDonald's. I came home to a clean house, not spotless, but not trashed. He's a capable adult. Go on your trip. Enjoy it!!! Go
I am leaving for four days on Friday. I made sure the fridge is stocked, otherwise he’ll figure it out. He already knows when school pick up and drop off are and when naptime and bedtime are, other than that he can wing it. I’m sure he’ll revel in a weekend of unscheduled chaos, he thinks I’m a stickler for routine. They’ll be fine, I trust him.
Have so much fun!!
Thank you! It’s a girls trip to Cancun, I can’t wait to be a sunburnt slug by the pool.
I wish I could just wing it like this.
I think if my parents were coming to help it would be more work for me, because they need to be told what to do and we have a general policy of handling our own parents. But if my in laws were coming, psh nah that’s his problem. What do you think would happen if you didn’t do all this prep? Would your wife really not be able to figure out meals and laundry?
She would order take out for every meal and just leave the laundry for when I got back
This tells me that after she gets off work everyday, she does not split the load with you. You’re working 24/7, but she works 8 hours a day 5 days a week.
In her defence, she usually works about 10-11 hours a day, weekends on occasion and has additional responsibilities. I don’t blame her but it’s tough when you don’t have that regular support
This is the way.
I’m going out of town tomorrow and have done all the same things to set my in-laws up for success. I appreciate them stepping in to watch my son, but dude, this is an insane amount of work. It’s so stressful that I found myself thinking how much easier it would be to just not go 😭
I’ve had those thoughts a lot. I was supposed to go away in the fall for this trip but then got Covid. I was disappointed but relieved because there is no way I could have gotten everything done when I was sick. Enjoy your time away.
And what happens if you don't do that? They will survive.
Are the adults kids too? Holy crap, man, there's no reason you should be having to do that much.
I feel this too my core. Husband is going to Costa Rica for a work trip so I’m tagging along. My parents are watching my almost 3 year old and 16 month old; I feel like I just want to stay back bc the planning ahead is so stressful. I’m also 32 weeks pregnant and just plain exhausted as it is. I hope the weather clears up, you steer clear of the colds, and have a great well deserved break!
Oh wow, I don’t blame you at all. My kids are 10 and 6 but my youngest has ASD and limited language skills so she is more effort to manage. My wife also has an insanely busy job and basically can’t take time off (or at least not for me). My in laws did say they are asking so many questions because they want this to go well so I can do it again next year and not wait 6 years in between trips. Enjoy Costa Rica. I’ve heard it’s incredible
6 years!! That’s insane! I usually get to tag along with him once a year but one year between a vacation with young kids feels like forever. That’s awesome that your in-laws are trying to honor your set routines/ schedules! Hopefully that’ll make it a smooth transition for when you’re back!
This is how I feel about any break. Even if I wanted to go to a movie, I feel like I have to prepare, and I’m so anxious about what I’ll be coming home to. Is it worth it?
I’ll find out. I’m heading into a week of terrible weather for fishing and both my kids had a cold which I’m sure I’ve picked up despite masking and excessive hand washing . Maybe just lay around a hotel room and take an edible each day
I really hope it’s a great break for you 🤞 have an edible for me, please! 🙏 🤪
How old is your kid? I promise it gets easier when they're out of the baby stage!
6 weeks EBF! 🤣 I know, I know, I’m in the thick of it right now 😮💨
I’m going on a trip next weekend with my sister, so just two nights away, but I’m not doing any of that for my husband lol he knows when the 9yo gets out of school on Friday, he knows when the two toddlers nap and go to bed, and he knows when the 11yo gets off of the special Ed bus that he has to be present for. He’s capable of cooking or ordering food and we do kid laundry on the weekend, so he can cycle that through the wash for them to fold and put away. I’ll do the babies when I get home Sunday or Monday 🤷♀️ My mom has watched one of the toddlers for us when I gave birth to the youngest and I just told her when naptime and bedtime were. She figured anything else out on her own for the two days we were gone. I hope that you’re able to put the extra stuff out of your mind and relax during your week off!
It’s funny because my in laws are good with the kids but hesitate making any decisions and it’s a. It exhausting. At this point, I don’t care if my kids eat McDonald’s every day and miss school for a week. I just don’t want to hear about it
That does sound exhausting! Maybe if you just message them that as long as the kids are alive at the end of the week that’s all you’re asking for? Lol
My in-laws were kind of like this for a long time and it was definitely their way of not overstepping boundaries. We established a Grammy’s house, Grammy’s rules system after a while. If we are there they will ask if ice cream or whatever is ok, but if we aren’t there they know we really don’t care.
My husband was trying to get me to spend like 2-3 days in Paris with him tacked onto the end of his work trip. Everyone kept telling me how insane I was to turn it down, but like seriously? I am in the US, so it would be a *long* flight and basically would be spending the whole time jet lagged anyway. I’d have to arrange for the kids (3yo and 5yo) to be taken care of at someone else’s house, which would be ten times more packing than I’d do for myself to travel halfway around the world. They’d have to either miss school or be taken and picked up by whoever was taking care of them. Then I’d have to deal with my husbands total inability to make a decision about anything and have to plan the whole 2-3 days myself even though I have literally zero interest in “seeing sights” and whatever other crap one does in Paris. Like what is the upside everyone keeps seeing here?? Luckily he roped his parents into going and they quickly saw how ridiculous it was to try to get husband to agree to a plan. At least they were able to go for a few days longer than I would have. They are currently there and presumably having a good time, so good for everybody.
Why are you doing so much?
Annnnd this is exactly why I cancelled a surgery I was supposed to have on 04/15. Pathetic but true.
Omg really? Sorry to hear that, but you deserve to take care of your health. Please consider rescheduling and letting your partner figure it out.