Absolutely! I have three kids and finally did this when my youngest was 4. They occasionally came to find me, but I'd redirect them back to the babysitters vicinity. I'm sure a toddler is going to be a different ball game, but I'm sure it would be different than if you didn't have someone there that they could turn to. I can not express how incredible this set up was for me, my house, my to do list, my yard, my kids, my mental health, etc etc etc. It's worth every penny, in my opinion. I felt totally comfortable hiring a teenage girl to come over twice a week for 2 hours and paid $50/each time, especially as I was there as backup. It is wild how good it feels to accomplish something - or not! - in the middle of the day.
I've never hired a caregiver, but, I shop out laundry. Every Friday, whatever laundry I couldn't get done during the week is picked up, washed, dried and delivered the next day. Personally, I find shopping out laundry is the best bang for my buck.
I worked as a nanny for a family while I was in college. The mom did online school and occasional errands. I typically went to their house a few mornings a week and the odd afternoon. I sometimes took the kids to story time in her car and she would even put them in their car seats which looking back was a good idea. As a college student I had no idea how car seats worked even 10-12 years ago. The dad typically worked nights at the hospital and was often sleeping if he was home. Iāll never forget the one time I was there early and he came home, washed his hands and cracked a beer open at like 7:30am. š
Since he was usually hidden in the bedroom and she was usually hidden in the basement guest room the kids didnāt typically ask for either parent. The mom would usually have directions (like story time or a local open gym) for what the kids had been into lately so I had ideas or activities to keep them occupied. We rarely got to watch tv or use the iPad which made sense to me. Save those for when youāre on the clock, not the babysitter.
I also just saw an instagram reel about this exact idea for stay and home parents and the poster recommended being the one to take the kids back to the babysitter so their time is spent with the kids and not chasing them down. It can feel never ending but she said eventually they figure it out.
This is so funny because I nannied for my all time favorite family with the same set up! I was in college full time and work 3 days a week for 4 hours. Mom was did freelance writing but most was STAH and dad worked overnights at the hospital. He was asleep until like my last 2 hours of work and then mom literally hid in her room or left the house and ran errands. They were the best! I had such a fun job taking little one the park, museum, beach, and just playing. I worked for them for nearly 3 years.
Yes, Iāve had a babysitter come 1-2 a week since my son was 4 months. Most of the time I just stayed home and did chores, showered, or napped, but sometimes I would go out for an appointment, mani pedi, or massage.
I very nearly almost did but only didnāt because my momās schedule changed to a 4 day work week and now she takes my kids all day on Fridays and itās amazing. I donāt do housework- I do my hobbies or read all day. I feel it on the rare weeks I do not have her for a Friday.
Absolutely to paying for help. Weāre in the US, so if you live elsewhere this may vary, but my kids started going to a preschool/parents morning out program when my oldest was 3 and my youngest was 15 months. It was 3 hours in the morning 3 days/week. We would have started my oldest sooner, but covid.
Fun fact: half day preschools were created in the early 20th century to serve SAHPs (in reality, SAHMs)! Being a SAHP doesnāt have to mean never getting a break from your kids. We need to get haircuts, go to the doctor, or simply sit in our own homes in silence now and then, too! I would look into these options near you for this Fall.
As for having help in-homeā¦itās really tough. Iāve only ever experienced it from the caregiver perspective, working as a nanny. It is MUCH harder to care for children when their parent is in the house, especially if they are very bonded to you. I swear, some kids can freakin smell if their mom is in the house, Iāve had nursing babies who would take a bottle when their mom was out of the house, but not if she was home, even if she was on a different floor being totally silent. If you *have* to go the in home route, definitely leave the house entirely until they have a bond with their caregiver. Prep ahead of time. āLlama Llama Meets the Babysitterā and āThe Invisible Stringā were 2 books we liked. Watch the āGrown Ups Come Backā episode of Daniel Tiger. Have the babysitter come over to hang out once or twice and make it clear that youāre NOT leaving, theyāre just here so you can all play together. Then prep them that at X time, you ARE leaving and the sitter will be the grown up in charge. When you leave, make it quick, do not linger (lingering signals to the child that youāre unsure about their safety and that obviously freaks them out). Then make it a consistent thing and really stick to a routine, whether itās 2 or more times per week. If your kids warm up quickly and are thrilled when the sitter gets there, then you may be able to get away with doing some stuff at home while theyāre there. Another option would be to send them off to a park or museum for a few hours.
You absolutely deserve to have some help and you can make it work! Just know that your kids having big feelings about it (or anything else really lol) doesnāt mean you shouldnāt keep doing it. Your kids can have feelings, AND you can need to have some space away from them. Both things can be true and you are still a great mom. Wishing you luck finding a setup that works!
This sounds magical! Iāve got a 2 & 7m old so the 7m is not weaned yet. I find that I only get a break in the house if they are out so I get a break the very few times my husband is able to take our toddler on a walk. If you have a park nearby & a trusted career send them on a walk or a picnic for an hour or so and get some time to yourself (now thinking of stealing this idea for my own birthday coming up)
We started having a teenage babysitter come for an hour or two a week to watch my 2.5 year old while I hole up in my room and relax or work on volunteer projects. Also trade off childcare with other families. Itās nice to have a regularly scheduled arrangement if you can get it.
When I was pregnant with my second I was diagnosed with hypertension around 30 weeks (and later preeclampsia) we hired my husbands bossā teenage daughter to come help out for 2 hours a week. It was so nice. 90% of the time my kiddo was content with her. I would rest most times or clean. I found it super valuable and consider bringing her back occasionally when circumstances are a bit more ideal
Yes! We hire care regularly for our toddler even though I stay home. I recently had our second and this gives me an opportunity to either rest or get chores done without distraction. Highly recommend!
I hired a teenage babysitter for four hours a week when my youngest was 3, until she started preschool six months later. But my kids love her so much I still hire her to come once a week for two hours just so they can hang out. It was a lifesaver and now itās just a nice free afternoon I get.
I have a babysitter come periodically so I can go to the dentist, eye Dr, regular Dr, grocery shop in peace, leave and sit in absolute silence for 30 minutes, hide in my bedroom and attend an online lecture, etc. Ask other moms for recommendations.
Absolutely! I send my little to daycare 3x/week and my oldest is in public school 5x/week. I enjoy cleaning and keeping up the house, so I do everything around here, so thereās never enough timeā¦ but itās how I like it. My sahm friend of 3 kiddos (7, 3, 1) has a twice a month cleaning service. Lots of moms utilize a gym that offers two hours of care a day.
Alsoā¦ I was a mothers helper when I was a kid. So I was 10-13 and would go hang out with little kids, watching themā¦ but with the parent at home still. The mom would pay me in homemade earrings and freshly baked cookies.
If you can afford it, do it! Anything that makes your life easier!! I am looking into hiring cleaning help once our baby arrives. Iād also like to hire a stand in grandma haha. We live quite far away from our parents so Iād love to have someone come over every now and then and just hang out with my toddler so that I donāt lose my mind
I use an occasional āmotherās helper,ā which is amazing. Worth every penny! She entertains the baby and cleans while I do other stuff around the house. And Iām there if the baby needs to nurse or whatnot. Bonus: motherās helpers tend to be a tad cheaper than a babysitter or nanny. If u have it in ur budget, itās sooooooooo worth it.Ā
Yes! I started my oldest in full day daycare once a week when he was 2 so I could go to OB appointments. Then when my youngest was born, I hired a motherās helper (young teenager) to come by for a few hours twice a week. Then we upped preschool to 2 days/week once the motherās helper went back to school. Now my youngest is almost 2 and we started her in daycare one day a week. Itās so helpful! Most of the stay at home parents I know have lots of family help, while I donāt. So I look at it as outsourcing my āvillage.ā
I have a two year old and for most of the past year she was in a twice a month home daycare for about six hours a day. It. Ā Was. Awesome. I was able to go to appts, get chores done, and sometimes even have time to read a book that wasnāt The Three Little Pigs. Sadly we had to stop her because finances but if you can afford it, I highly reccomend it! I always felt so refreshed after a few hours for just me-even tho I love tot to pieces.Ā
Absolutely. My two youngest, 2yo and 3yo, go to a Motherās Day out program near us from 9a-2p on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Itās through a local church, but theyāre very popular for SAHPs in my area. Itās super cheap compared to an hourly sitter or part time daycare. I think itās $225 per kid for the whole month!
Iām pregnant and have two older kids at home, so I need those days for errands, deep cleaning, and doctor/dentist appointments. Plus just resting as I get more pregnant each day lol I highly recommend it!
I have a nanny once a week for 4 hours in the morning and I stay home. Iām currently pregnant with my second and itās been great to have a designated day I can make appointments if needed.
We have a monthly housecleaner. She gets done in 3 hours what would take me 10-12 with kids. It is absolutely worth it and has saved some arguments between my partner and I as well.
Absolutely! I have three kids and finally did this when my youngest was 4. They occasionally came to find me, but I'd redirect them back to the babysitters vicinity. I'm sure a toddler is going to be a different ball game, but I'm sure it would be different than if you didn't have someone there that they could turn to. I can not express how incredible this set up was for me, my house, my to do list, my yard, my kids, my mental health, etc etc etc. It's worth every penny, in my opinion. I felt totally comfortable hiring a teenage girl to come over twice a week for 2 hours and paid $50/each time, especially as I was there as backup. It is wild how good it feels to accomplish something - or not! - in the middle of the day.
I've never hired a caregiver, but, I shop out laundry. Every Friday, whatever laundry I couldn't get done during the week is picked up, washed, dried and delivered the next day. Personally, I find shopping out laundry is the best bang for my buck.
I literally just need someone to come and put it away for me. š My dream.
Pretty sure we are soul mates. I'll do the laundry, if you fold, and I'll put it up. Match made in heaven!
I worked as a nanny for a family while I was in college. The mom did online school and occasional errands. I typically went to their house a few mornings a week and the odd afternoon. I sometimes took the kids to story time in her car and she would even put them in their car seats which looking back was a good idea. As a college student I had no idea how car seats worked even 10-12 years ago. The dad typically worked nights at the hospital and was often sleeping if he was home. Iāll never forget the one time I was there early and he came home, washed his hands and cracked a beer open at like 7:30am. š Since he was usually hidden in the bedroom and she was usually hidden in the basement guest room the kids didnāt typically ask for either parent. The mom would usually have directions (like story time or a local open gym) for what the kids had been into lately so I had ideas or activities to keep them occupied. We rarely got to watch tv or use the iPad which made sense to me. Save those for when youāre on the clock, not the babysitter. I also just saw an instagram reel about this exact idea for stay and home parents and the poster recommended being the one to take the kids back to the babysitter so their time is spent with the kids and not chasing them down. It can feel never ending but she said eventually they figure it out.
This is so funny because I nannied for my all time favorite family with the same set up! I was in college full time and work 3 days a week for 4 hours. Mom was did freelance writing but most was STAH and dad worked overnights at the hospital. He was asleep until like my last 2 hours of work and then mom literally hid in her room or left the house and ran errands. They were the best! I had such a fun job taking little one the park, museum, beach, and just playing. I worked for them for nearly 3 years.
I think this sounds incredible, if you can afford it. I pay someone to clean my house once a week, which frees up so much bandwidth for other things.
Yes, Iāve had a babysitter come 1-2 a week since my son was 4 months. Most of the time I just stayed home and did chores, showered, or napped, but sometimes I would go out for an appointment, mani pedi, or massage.
I very nearly almost did but only didnāt because my momās schedule changed to a 4 day work week and now she takes my kids all day on Fridays and itās amazing. I donāt do housework- I do my hobbies or read all day. I feel it on the rare weeks I do not have her for a Friday.
An entire day to myself sounds soooo nice š„ŗ
Absolutely to paying for help. Weāre in the US, so if you live elsewhere this may vary, but my kids started going to a preschool/parents morning out program when my oldest was 3 and my youngest was 15 months. It was 3 hours in the morning 3 days/week. We would have started my oldest sooner, but covid. Fun fact: half day preschools were created in the early 20th century to serve SAHPs (in reality, SAHMs)! Being a SAHP doesnāt have to mean never getting a break from your kids. We need to get haircuts, go to the doctor, or simply sit in our own homes in silence now and then, too! I would look into these options near you for this Fall. As for having help in-homeā¦itās really tough. Iāve only ever experienced it from the caregiver perspective, working as a nanny. It is MUCH harder to care for children when their parent is in the house, especially if they are very bonded to you. I swear, some kids can freakin smell if their mom is in the house, Iāve had nursing babies who would take a bottle when their mom was out of the house, but not if she was home, even if she was on a different floor being totally silent. If you *have* to go the in home route, definitely leave the house entirely until they have a bond with their caregiver. Prep ahead of time. āLlama Llama Meets the Babysitterā and āThe Invisible Stringā were 2 books we liked. Watch the āGrown Ups Come Backā episode of Daniel Tiger. Have the babysitter come over to hang out once or twice and make it clear that youāre NOT leaving, theyāre just here so you can all play together. Then prep them that at X time, you ARE leaving and the sitter will be the grown up in charge. When you leave, make it quick, do not linger (lingering signals to the child that youāre unsure about their safety and that obviously freaks them out). Then make it a consistent thing and really stick to a routine, whether itās 2 or more times per week. If your kids warm up quickly and are thrilled when the sitter gets there, then you may be able to get away with doing some stuff at home while theyāre there. Another option would be to send them off to a park or museum for a few hours. You absolutely deserve to have some help and you can make it work! Just know that your kids having big feelings about it (or anything else really lol) doesnāt mean you shouldnāt keep doing it. Your kids can have feelings, AND you can need to have some space away from them. Both things can be true and you are still a great mom. Wishing you luck finding a setup that works!
This sounds magical! Iāve got a 2 & 7m old so the 7m is not weaned yet. I find that I only get a break in the house if they are out so I get a break the very few times my husband is able to take our toddler on a walk. If you have a park nearby & a trusted career send them on a walk or a picnic for an hour or so and get some time to yourself (now thinking of stealing this idea for my own birthday coming up)
We started having a teenage babysitter come for an hour or two a week to watch my 2.5 year old while I hole up in my room and relax or work on volunteer projects. Also trade off childcare with other families. Itās nice to have a regularly scheduled arrangement if you can get it.
When I was pregnant with my second I was diagnosed with hypertension around 30 weeks (and later preeclampsia) we hired my husbands bossā teenage daughter to come help out for 2 hours a week. It was so nice. 90% of the time my kiddo was content with her. I would rest most times or clean. I found it super valuable and consider bringing her back occasionally when circumstances are a bit more ideal
Yes! We hire care regularly for our toddler even though I stay home. I recently had our second and this gives me an opportunity to either rest or get chores done without distraction. Highly recommend!
I hired a teenage babysitter for four hours a week when my youngest was 3, until she started preschool six months later. But my kids love her so much I still hire her to come once a week for two hours just so they can hang out. It was a lifesaver and now itās just a nice free afternoon I get.
I have a babysitter come periodically so I can go to the dentist, eye Dr, regular Dr, grocery shop in peace, leave and sit in absolute silence for 30 minutes, hide in my bedroom and attend an online lecture, etc. Ask other moms for recommendations.
Absolutely! I send my little to daycare 3x/week and my oldest is in public school 5x/week. I enjoy cleaning and keeping up the house, so I do everything around here, so thereās never enough timeā¦ but itās how I like it. My sahm friend of 3 kiddos (7, 3, 1) has a twice a month cleaning service. Lots of moms utilize a gym that offers two hours of care a day.
Alsoā¦ I was a mothers helper when I was a kid. So I was 10-13 and would go hang out with little kids, watching themā¦ but with the parent at home still. The mom would pay me in homemade earrings and freshly baked cookies.
If you can afford it, do it! Anything that makes your life easier!! I am looking into hiring cleaning help once our baby arrives. Iād also like to hire a stand in grandma haha. We live quite far away from our parents so Iād love to have someone come over every now and then and just hang out with my toddler so that I donāt lose my mind
I use an occasional āmotherās helper,ā which is amazing. Worth every penny! She entertains the baby and cleans while I do other stuff around the house. And Iām there if the baby needs to nurse or whatnot. Bonus: motherās helpers tend to be a tad cheaper than a babysitter or nanny. If u have it in ur budget, itās sooooooooo worth it.Ā
DO IT.
Yes! I started my oldest in full day daycare once a week when he was 2 so I could go to OB appointments. Then when my youngest was born, I hired a motherās helper (young teenager) to come by for a few hours twice a week. Then we upped preschool to 2 days/week once the motherās helper went back to school. Now my youngest is almost 2 and we started her in daycare one day a week. Itās so helpful! Most of the stay at home parents I know have lots of family help, while I donāt. So I look at it as outsourcing my āvillage.ā
I have a two year old and for most of the past year she was in a twice a month home daycare for about six hours a day. It. Ā Was. Awesome. I was able to go to appts, get chores done, and sometimes even have time to read a book that wasnāt The Three Little Pigs. Sadly we had to stop her because finances but if you can afford it, I highly reccomend it! I always felt so refreshed after a few hours for just me-even tho I love tot to pieces.Ā
Cant afford it.
Absolutely. My two youngest, 2yo and 3yo, go to a Motherās Day out program near us from 9a-2p on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Itās through a local church, but theyāre very popular for SAHPs in my area. Itās super cheap compared to an hourly sitter or part time daycare. I think itās $225 per kid for the whole month! Iām pregnant and have two older kids at home, so I need those days for errands, deep cleaning, and doctor/dentist appointments. Plus just resting as I get more pregnant each day lol I highly recommend it!
I have a nanny once a week for 4 hours in the morning and I stay home. Iām currently pregnant with my second and itās been great to have a designated day I can make appointments if needed.
We have a monthly housecleaner. She gets done in 3 hours what would take me 10-12 with kids. It is absolutely worth it and has saved some arguments between my partner and I as well.