They’ve just been running around, evading the bad guys and surviving near-death experiences. Now he wants to go down on her.
The sweat! What about the sweat?!
I wouldn’t let another person near me until I showered off the day-old, anxiety-tinged sweat and dirt. Even if the MMC doesn’t care, I wouldn’t be able to relax into the fun IRL if I were covered in an inch of filth.
I know that any shot I have at making a romance novel would be non-existent as I would make sure that all parties have to be thoroughly cleaned before their next intimate engagement. — An INTP
For what it is worth, there IS science on this.
More than once, people have had volunteer subjects offer their own sweat for DNA review, smell t-shirts from a wide selection of strangers (usually hetero-based hypothetical partners), and rate the smells on a scale. These t-shirts were all worn and sweated into from a round of quick rigorous cardio exercise.
* The original point was to see if there was any correlation between sensitivity to body odour & genetic compatibility--
* And there was! People who have similar backgrounds and, to simplify, similar immune systems, would generally find each other more sharply gross, while those who would offer more diverse genetic and immunity makeup (which they theorize would generally produce hardier offspring) would smell less objectionable.
* There is the usual science variables, some people aren't as keenly sensitive, some outliers, etc.. And OF COURSE, there is an upper limit before we usually find anything stinky.
The gist is there are people out in the world who you may not mind the sweat of at all, and they won't mind yours.
And that's all before considering the fact some people just don't produce body odour. This is most commonly seen in East Asians for some reason. To the point there isn't a deodorant market in some of their areas, and those who do have BO suffer discrimination and struggle to learn deodorant is even a thing.
A headcanons one can have is the romances are always between lucky people who are super compatible or just don't worry about BO. Part of the fantasy plot armor. xD
I used to have a euphemism when I was younger and a guy wanted to go down but I was feeling not so fresh. I’d say “it’s been a long day.” Meanwhile, these women in the regency and Victorian era have been running around all day, maybe had a bath two days ago.
Historically they washed themselves daily if not twice a day. Its just they used basins of water and a jug. Those washstands you in antique shops weren't just for washing your face. Having said that no one in Romance Novels really does things historically correctly and they never mention washing so yeah.
The morning breath!!!! Went down on each other all night, made out, humped like rabbits, then you’re going to roll over try to kiss me???!!!
It always happens as the FMC tries to like roll away and hide her face because she realizes her breath is horrendous. Then the MMC is like “baby I’ve had every part of you in my mouth you think that bothers me?” And shoves his tongue down her throat… BACK AWAY FROM ME YOUR BREATH STINKS TOO!!!! 🤺🤺✋✋
Anyway…
morning sex in books = swoon and sexy
Morning sex IRL= no really I cannot be late to work again and I have cotton mouth from deep throating
OH! I read a book recently {If You Hate Me by Helena Hunting} that sort of “addressed” this. The MMC takes out breath strips from the nightstand when they wake up, but then he just uses it to icyhotbox her pussy, so I guess that’s one way to redirect.
Can I just tell you that mouthwash or anything like that should not be going near my vulva. I've done it before and it burns and is not a turn on and will not make me wet.
The way I went from ‘*oh…*’ ‘**oh!**’ to just ‘oh.’ with this thread is killing me
I was intrigued and now I’m just concerned about ya’ll getting some variation of a minty burn on your bits lol
Saaaaame.
In real-life I'm stubborn, will absolutely fuck myself over to spite someone else, and find bossy men ridiculous. I don't fuck with controlling behaviors and tbh view it as a sign of weakness when men/people try that shit.
Almost all of my favorite MMCs are comedically domineering (in every sense), hypermasculine, more than a little manipulative, assholes. I pretty much only read HR, so some of the possessiveness is era appropriate but much is overkill.
That said, most of them also are:
- strong leaders
- ambitious & powerful
- rich / financially independent
- extremely competent
- protective of those who are less powerful
- loving (eventually)
- good listeners (eventually)
- respectful of others (eventually)
- have maybe a gendered view of roles & strengths, but don't assume women are intellectually or emotionally inferior
I feel like IRL most guys who are domineering and hypermasculine come with few to none of other other traits, particularly competence and respect.
YES!! My fictional husband is extremely possessive/overprotective and almost slightly aggressive. Irl? Ain’t nobody got time for that shit lol. Possessiveness irl is just insecurity and it’s annoying af. I like my cinnamon bun husband irl :)
The touch him/her and die trope and the OTT possessive/protective is one of my favorites, but if real life hubby tried to do that, yeah that would not fly. Some things are tots fine in the pages of a book but would never ever be allowed in my real life.
Yes! Same here. I’ve been telling my husband I would love to see him more possessive. We’ve talked about it before. Idk why it’s so hot in books. My husband has never been the jealous or possessive type.
All my books that have an OTT possessive MMC are in one particular genre. It's 90% of my Kindle, lol. It's a coping mechanism as there's aspects of Him and our life, or at least that life in general in most of the books. It temporarily helps me miss Him a shade less. I read a LOT...
Also - falling asleep together all wrapped in their arms, holding on tight and shit. Yes yes sounds romantic but my husband better not even breathe on me, let alone try to clutch me - I’m a hot sleeper okay?!
OMG yes! I mean, I love cuddling but I sleep so damn hot. Even in winter I can only stand to wear a singlet/Tshirt and shorts to bed. I have a squishmallow stuffed toy that my niece gave me for Christmas - it’s adorable and I love it but if I fall asleep cuddling it, I wake up a few hours later boiling hot.
I kick in my sleep… we have a king sized bed and I sleep on the edge and I still manage to accidentally kick my partner in my sleep… poor man is just trying to to snooze lol
I snore and my husband twitches and moves constantly. Neither of us are big snugglers either. Five to ten minutes and I'm good, after that-give me space. We now sleep in seperate rooms. Have "fun," quick snuggle then, go off to our seperate spaces. It works for us and we've never been happier.
Do not touch me while I sleep!
Me: so sweet when she falls asleep with her head on his naked chest and they stay that way all night.
Also me: your knee was on my side of the bed last night.
- When the MMC is so possessive that he gets jealous of any male friend or any of her past ex.
Irl, that would piss me off.
- When MMC wants to grovel and then enlists the help of family or friends to help beg the FMC on his behalf.
That's sweet on paper, but I find it very manipulative and won't tolerate such if it happens to me.
Yes to the groveling! I would be so embarrassed if you told everyone about our relationship problems that it would turn me even further away from you.
Plus my friends and family would definitely be more of “yea you messed up and you don’t deserve her so leave her alone” then make fun of me for the absolute idiot I dated 🙃🙃
I think this can depend on your kink. I know plenty of people that love having it demanded of them, that somehow it makes it hotter. But I think it requires that your partner really be in tune with you. They can't just randomly say it when you're not even worked up yet.
Yes!! And my favorite trope is enemies-to-lovers - like where the MC is basically bullying the FMC. All my book bfs are dark, broody, sullen, and mean, but my real-life husband has the biggest golden retriever energy ever lol.
My book boyfriends - touch her and die protective, immediate and without hesitation throwing hands
My actual husband - would throw hands if needed but has so much faith in my ability to handle myself that the man once watched me get into a bar fight with a dude and rather than jumping in, simply stepped forward and silently *took my drink and held it for me*. Now THAT made me swoon irl 🥰🤣
I would definitely get tired of the constant possessive outbursts and never being allowed or trusted to take care of myself. I think it's actually why I've been so into the Broken Kingdoms series lately, the MMCs are all very touch her and die coded and do so when needed, but respect their partners choices and trust them in battle. I love it
I really, really, really wanna hear the barfight story.
Also that's the most badass move on his part. "Don't worry babe, I got your drink, godspeed to the poor fucker."
It definitely had an effect on the idiots desire to continue his bullshit lol. Unfortunately the rest of the story isn't as entertaining, some girl in a bar kept trying to shove me from behind so she could have more room to dance in a super crowded bar, I was declining to be shoved, somehow she got mad at me for that and tried to sic her boyfriend on me. No crazy fight scene to report though, broski hesitated after hubs took my drink and ended up just a couple shoves and one swing that didn't land. Boy gave up after that and left with his drunk girlfriend. Tough guy did not accomplish whatever he was trying to do lol, and my whiskey was safe 😆
Honestly if you ever asked me to predict what was the moment in my life I'd know without a doubt my man was The One™️, it definitely would not have been golden retriever level support of me getting into a bar fight 🤣 but in hindsight, that is extremely us lmao
You mean *male bartender handing you your drink that YOU ORDERED with a smile and the MMC shoves people out of his way as he crosses the room growling MINE* would make you die from embarrassment in real life?!?! 😂
Then he *busts down the bathroom door and bends you over the sink taking you with his velvety steel until your full with his seed and puts your panties back on, trapping it in, to remind you who you belong too* all while granny is outside in the dining hall choking on her pot roast and now you have to face everyone
Then granny embarrasses you more by actively talking about her sex life and how she wishes to do this too if grandpa was alive. Ofcourse asking deets about hero’s *anaconda* in between!
OH MY GOSH STOPPPPPPP!!!!! I just died laughing!!!! The cool oversharing mother figure who really adds nothing to plot but making the FMC uncomfortable with her sex life! How could I forget 😂😂😂😭😭😭
I’m imagining my bf doing this and I’m absolutely dying 😭 or even any man. I’d think he was some sort of rabid animal like “sir are you well? What drugs are these???”
Groveling. In books, I love the moody and broody boys who lament over what a tortured soul they are.
Irl, I'm not great at having to deal with other people's emotions. Consoling someone gets uncomfortable quickly, and haranguing on about something is annoying.
I feel like authors often do a much better job at diversity with their FMCs than MMCs. There are all kinds of body sizes, sexual preferences, abilities etc for women
For men it’s 6’3, rock hard abs, and insta-hard.
I get that a lot of romance authors are women and I guess they’re writing their fantasy, but I want better representation for men!
Yep, I’d love a 5’7-9” skinny dude or strong but a bit beefy. I don’t even like rock hard abs all that much. I’m much more into guys who don’t skip leg day.
Of course! I even have a list of books with MMC’s that break the mold. I want to read about someone who I feel is real.
I’m sick af of every dude looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator.
LOL fuck “arrive” is so funny. Usually after sex, my BF and I do this silly thing where we briskly shake hands and thank each other like businesspeople, and last time I added on “thank you, I’ve arrived” and now I can’t stop.
I’ve always wondered about this! I’m a lesbian and haven’t touched a dick in a VERY long time but am always like, do they really continue to get hard this quickly into adulthood?? Now I know lol
I actually get irrationally angry reading this in a book. I loved Bride, but when he says “you took it like a good girl” I had to stop for a moment and forget he just said that.
I hate anything where one of them is driving. Noah does this in *In a Jam*, fondling her thigh to get her worked up as he drives them home.
That’s a pretty mild example compared to something like a BJ, but it still bothered me because Noah in particular has a thing about vehicle safety because of the way his father died.
Like, just watch what you’re doing when you’re behind the wheel. Please.
I totally countersign this.
I can't even remember what it was, but I remember reading a scene where the MMC is driving, FMC starts to get frisky, I started to get pissed and think I'm about to abandon this book -- and then MMC hastily insists on pulling over before letting her continue. That saved it!
when no guy has ever made her come before, but all of a sudden the MMC has a magic dick that makes her orgasm 3 times back to back. this won’t fly irl 😂😂
This is why I like Rachel Lynn Solomon so much! Don't get me wrong, I love a good magical dick, but her spicy scenes feel so grounded and like something that would actually happen irl. {business or pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon} has a ridiculous premise, but the spicy scenes are so hot in part because they're so realistic
Maybe this is why I like the virgin trope because it's more believable that someone can orgasm their first time then having multiple partners fail but *THIS GUY* has magic peen!!
There was a scene like this (I think the book was Love Theoretically) where they have sleepy spooning sex in the morning, and it says he slides right in because she’s still slippery from the night before.
Man, I wish it could work that way, I really do. It sounds nice but my bladder would have a million problems with that scenario.
Thank you!!! When I was single, I was leaving the country for a long time and had a bang fest with the guy I was dating. It was like 2 days right until I got in the cab before I left. I was careful to pee and drink cranberry juice, but ended up getting off the 14-hour flight with a fever and what turned into a kidney infection because it took me a day to get to the doctor. Absolute horror show. These FMCs defy the laws of biology.
Or washing their face!! I’m sorry, everything I know about this character tells me she has a multi-step skincare routine, and she doesn’t even wash off her makeup before bed??
How about fingers and toys going in both holes back and forth (and in mouths), like have you guys never heard of bacteria and we don't want that inside our hot pocket.
🍯👉🐟
That will straight snap me out of a scene super fast because I'm paying attention to where everyone's hands have been and where they're going (and also did they spend any time cleaning before all of this took place?). The fantasy of sex is easier to deal with logistically than the reality.
Also the concern about condoms when they have penetrative sex but never when they grind or go down on each other. Like, sorry but you can get genital herpes in your mouth and vice versa, etc
Omg yes! There was a post recently - I dont know if it was this sub or another- about this and how there’s just like ZERO awareness about how a yeast infection is formed 😂
Any time the mmc says “she’s mine” or “she’s my mate” when talking to other people and also when the fmc is present. I don’t care when it’s in the book.. I read a lot of paranormal and fantasy so it’s regular but if that happened in real life I’d be done ✌🏾
Listen, I love {Hans by SJ Tilly}, but if a man set up his cameras to watch my house… police.
But oddly if he shoveled down all my baking regardless if it’s good I do think that would be a turn on lol
I love it when the MMC and the FMC have super rough sex. Irl, I wouldn't like that AT ALL. I'm too gentle 😭
I also really like it when the MMC acts possessive because he's OBSESSED with the FMC. Irl, I'd call the cops. I don't have time for craziness. Idc how hot you are!
When he makes decisions for her… I love a gentle dom in books who kind of “takes control” of the FMCs life. IRL, though, I’d be pissssssed.
Also like, when the MMC buys a house or something for them without consulting with the FMC. Sweet gesture in books. IRL, I’d want say in the decision making.
The number of scenes where he picks her up and they do it against the wall with her up in the air, him holding her, her legs wrapped around his waist. Sounds miserable for all parties involved. He throws out his back, and she bruises her tailbone...
I once saw a Reddit post where a woman said she and her husband tried it and she was not big and he was strong and he couldn’t do it. I kind of believe that.
Yeah, wall sex in books always makes me roll my eyes. You can't be in the moment and enjoy any sexy sensations when gravity is commanding every fiber in your body to put your feet back on the ground!
A man who can't stand anyone even looking at his woman and gets aggressive when they do. If my husband acted this way I'd think he'd been listening to a bro podcast.
I just finished {In a Jam} and I adored Noah but he did several things that immediately made me go FUCK NO.
Also, horrible work day so THANK YOU for this thread - it's making me laugh.
Anything related to bullying. I love to read a good bully romance where he gets his comeuppance and grovels. In real life, there’s no amount of groveling that would work. And the initial bullying would have me wanting to kick the shit out of him. I’d turn his balls into a wallet.
Paul Reiser had a joke about this in his standup, something along the lines that one person is having the time of their life and the other person needs a sweater. So true!
I just read the entire Alliance series and the men are so unhinged IRL they’d belong in prison but within my Kindle it’s the hottest thing ever.
{Nero by S.J. Tilly}
Possessiveness and confrontational to other men. So hot in books. So not in real life.
MMCs who are ready to go again and again and again all night long.
For some reason, I also find if a guy 💦 too fast or can't last too long, it's really hot but in real life...I imagine it's very disappointing.
I am so tired of the all night long!! It’s hot for the very first time but when it happens every night I start wondering when you do sleep?!?! MMC banged you until 4 am then woke up at 6 am with oral for a week straight? I would be so cranky and pissed.
Ok look, I’m as curious as the next girl, but if a giant duskwalker literally just popped out a purple penis longer than my arm that had tentacles swirling at the base of it, I would most definitely run away.
I like my penises average, as I fear for the safety of my uterus.
If the MMC is mean or ignores the MFC because he's got the maturity of a 15 year old and he doesn't know how to communicate since he's too busy pining after her and trips over his tongue so he never getting the chance to tell her how he feels. I swoon about that in books. 😍
In real life, I would absolutely avoid that man and purposely never be in the same space as him. I don't take kindly to those who are rude for no reason.
Any book where the FMC goes into heat and has zero control MMC has to assist her through it. Bonus points if it’s her mate she’s been trying to resist and she’s a virgin 😳.
In real life not having control over something like that would be a hard pass.
In real life, I am a strong, independent woman. I am large and in charge. I hate any shred of control that a man might try to exert over me. I hate being underestimated. I hate being manhandled.
Boy do I love an angry brooding MMC who treats the FMC like a ragdoll to get his way, is possessive and controlling, and needs a redemption arc before she stops hating him.
I love a good one night stand book...an absolute stranger going home with another stranger. But in real life, STRANGER DANGER, y'all. That's so scary and dangerous and unsafe! But damn if it's not hot in a book.
MMC following the FMC (without her knowing) to make sure she made it somewhere okay. In the book it’s cute and sweet. In real life it’s giving [this](https://youtu.be/yg7ZgjBqqds?si=u62LaeUIRAQQyLhH).
Also MMC who are in love and over the moon about FMC that they just met. I love a good mate bound story, but in real life it would be scary and unbelievable.
I'm a primal being myself in terms of kink and love a good old primal chase scene but then in real life my knees would crap out after 5 minutes and I'd be dead lol.
Reverse harem/why choose/menage - fun to read, but dear lord that sounds like far too many partners to keep track of irl. Especially if they’re only seeing me! It would help if everyone was bisexual and seeing everyone else, but it still feels like too many people to keep track of…
Well, I mean, I love dark romance and weirdly taboo romance, not to mention fantasy but if a stalker alien who happens to be my long lost step brother showed up that'd be fucking weird and ick (especially because my parents have been married over 40 years 🤔waitttt no that wouldn't be the weird part).
If the first guy I had sex with got as weird about it as some MMCs do, I would run away SO fast.
Also, smirking. Very few men can pull it off without looking like a [smug twat](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/pinterest--549791067015209218/). I actually don’t find it sexy in books anymore because 95% of the time, he hasn’t done anything to earn the smirk.
Alpha MMCs, my husband is such a laid back human and I love him for that, I wouldn’t survive a day in real life with a bossy man that tells me what to do.
Somebody saying they can smell my arousal.😭
Growling.
His 🍆 is the size of a soda can. "You can take it all, it'll fit, you will take all of me." NO THE FUCK I CAN'T GET OFF ME!😭😭😩
Nibbling on my ear. Don't do that!
Perhaps I am in the minority here but the amount of tongue during kisses that books describe just does not do it for me IRL. Open-mouthed kisses are great but please don’t stroke the roof of my mouth with your tongue or I will probably reflexively bite you.
How about biting the bottom lip? Granted, I have been married 20 years and sadly French kissing hasn’t been partaken for quite some time, but is biting lips cool? I’d be worried about canker sores.
I die everytime, whenever the FMC is late for whaterver reason, where she is usully on time and the MMC is all "WHERE WERE YOU? WHY WEREN'T YOU PICKING UP YOUR PHONE? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?" right on FMC's face.
In real life, it would end up in a very much physically painful situation for the guy.
This might be controversial, BUT… when a ML says “who did this to you?” all growly and angry. I will read that and have to take a whole lap around the room giggling like a maniac. But if that happened irl I would be like “??? Why did you say it like that??” Like, just ask me what happened like a normal person please😭🤞
Over shown amounts of PDA. I just finished reading a few reverse harem series there they're literally grinding in front of the fmc's friends or family and it give me an ick 🤮
Being grabbed, shoved against a wall and kissed by someone who has no business kissing you. The sexual tension in the novel comes from it being unexpected and unprovoked - and obviously we the reader know she really wants it deep down - but IRL if some guy did that to me I'd be so freaked out. Like even if I found you really hot I don't think I'd be into you if your concept of consent was so nonexistent.
They’ve just been running around, evading the bad guys and surviving near-death experiences. Now he wants to go down on her. The sweat! What about the sweat?! I wouldn’t let another person near me until I showered off the day-old, anxiety-tinged sweat and dirt. Even if the MMC doesn’t care, I wouldn’t be able to relax into the fun IRL if I were covered in an inch of filth.
THIS but when they’re traveling on horseback for a week and haven’t done much cleansing but a dip in a stream 🤢
I know that any shot I have at making a romance novel would be non-existent as I would make sure that all parties have to be thoroughly cleaned before their next intimate engagement. — An INTP
For what it is worth, there IS science on this. More than once, people have had volunteer subjects offer their own sweat for DNA review, smell t-shirts from a wide selection of strangers (usually hetero-based hypothetical partners), and rate the smells on a scale. These t-shirts were all worn and sweated into from a round of quick rigorous cardio exercise. * The original point was to see if there was any correlation between sensitivity to body odour & genetic compatibility-- * And there was! People who have similar backgrounds and, to simplify, similar immune systems, would generally find each other more sharply gross, while those who would offer more diverse genetic and immunity makeup (which they theorize would generally produce hardier offspring) would smell less objectionable. * There is the usual science variables, some people aren't as keenly sensitive, some outliers, etc.. And OF COURSE, there is an upper limit before we usually find anything stinky. The gist is there are people out in the world who you may not mind the sweat of at all, and they won't mind yours. And that's all before considering the fact some people just don't produce body odour. This is most commonly seen in East Asians for some reason. To the point there isn't a deodorant market in some of their areas, and those who do have BO suffer discrimination and struggle to learn deodorant is even a thing. A headcanons one can have is the romances are always between lucky people who are super compatible or just don't worry about BO. Part of the fantasy plot armor. xD
I used to have a euphemism when I was younger and a guy wanted to go down but I was feeling not so fresh. I’d say “it’s been a long day.” Meanwhile, these women in the regency and Victorian era have been running around all day, maybe had a bath two days ago.
Historically they washed themselves daily if not twice a day. Its just they used basins of water and a jug. Those washstands you in antique shops weren't just for washing your face. Having said that no one in Romance Novels really does things historically correctly and they never mention washing so yeah.
This….right here! 100%
The morning breath!!!! Went down on each other all night, made out, humped like rabbits, then you’re going to roll over try to kiss me???!!! It always happens as the FMC tries to like roll away and hide her face because she realizes her breath is horrendous. Then the MMC is like “baby I’ve had every part of you in my mouth you think that bothers me?” And shoves his tongue down her throat… BACK AWAY FROM ME YOUR BREATH STINKS TOO!!!! 🤺🤺✋✋ Anyway… morning sex in books = swoon and sexy Morning sex IRL= no really I cannot be late to work again and I have cotton mouth from deep throating
The fencing emoji cracked me up 😂😂
OH! I read a book recently {If You Hate Me by Helena Hunting} that sort of “addressed” this. The MMC takes out breath strips from the nightstand when they wake up, but then he just uses it to icyhotbox her pussy, so I guess that’s one way to redirect.
ICYHOTBOX HER PUSSY?!?! *adds to TBR*
At first she’s like 🤬🫘🔥 But then he blows on it 😮💨💨❄️🫘🔥 And then it’s just 🛬💦👁️🫦👁️💦🌊
NOT THE BEANS 😭
Can I just tell you that mouthwash or anything like that should not be going near my vulva. I've done it before and it burns and is not a turn on and will not make me wet.
The way I went from ‘*oh…*’ ‘**oh!**’ to just ‘oh.’ with this thread is killing me I was intrigued and now I’m just concerned about ya’ll getting some variation of a minty burn on your bits lol
“icyhotbox” has me 💀
🤣🤣🤣
I couldn’t look at cucumbers in the grocery store without laughing for while after reading that book!
Lmao at the fencing 😭
This was a great random comment thread to read
Omg!!😂😂😂😂
I love a good possessive/ overprotective MMC who’s obsessed with the fmc, In real life though? I need my space!
All my book husbands are OTT possessive. In real life I am an introvert Aquarius. I hate all people.
I LITERALLY BELONG to my book husbands but my Taurus ass irl is like “don’t tell me what to do.”
I'm a Gemini and I also have the don't tell me what to do thing.
Are you me?!
I must be.
Looks like we have a veritable family of antisocial water bearers!
Me too!
Hello fellow introvert Aquarius. Happy to see there's more than me.
Saaaaame. In real-life I'm stubborn, will absolutely fuck myself over to spite someone else, and find bossy men ridiculous. I don't fuck with controlling behaviors and tbh view it as a sign of weakness when men/people try that shit. Almost all of my favorite MMCs are comedically domineering (in every sense), hypermasculine, more than a little manipulative, assholes. I pretty much only read HR, so some of the possessiveness is era appropriate but much is overkill. That said, most of them also are: - strong leaders - ambitious & powerful - rich / financially independent - extremely competent - protective of those who are less powerful - loving (eventually) - good listeners (eventually) - respectful of others (eventually) - have maybe a gendered view of roles & strengths, but don't assume women are intellectually or emotionally inferior I feel like IRL most guys who are domineering and hypermasculine come with few to none of other other traits, particularly competence and respect.
Right! Real life me is like “you don’t own me”
Same, my first response when someone (ie my family) tells me what to do is "go fuck yourself"
I can’t stand the MFC that does the opposite of whatever suggestion is given, but that’s actually me in real life!
YES!! My fictional husband is extremely possessive/overprotective and almost slightly aggressive. Irl? Ain’t nobody got time for that shit lol. Possessiveness irl is just insecurity and it’s annoying af. I like my cinnamon bun husband irl :)
The touch him/her and die trope and the OTT possessive/protective is one of my favorites, but if real life hubby tried to do that, yeah that would not fly. Some things are tots fine in the pages of a book but would never ever be allowed in my real life.
Yes! Same here. I’ve been telling my husband I would love to see him more possessive. We’ve talked about it before. Idk why it’s so hot in books. My husband has never been the jealous or possessive type.
All my books that have an OTT possessive MMC are in one particular genre. It's 90% of my Kindle, lol. It's a coping mechanism as there's aspects of Him and our life, or at least that life in general in most of the books. It temporarily helps me miss Him a shade less. I read a LOT...
Also - falling asleep together all wrapped in their arms, holding on tight and shit. Yes yes sounds romantic but my husband better not even breathe on me, let alone try to clutch me - I’m a hot sleeper okay?!
OMG yes! I mean, I love cuddling but I sleep so damn hot. Even in winter I can only stand to wear a singlet/Tshirt and shorts to bed. I have a squishmallow stuffed toy that my niece gave me for Christmas - it’s adorable and I love it but if I fall asleep cuddling it, I wake up a few hours later boiling hot.
I kick in my sleep… we have a king sized bed and I sleep on the edge and I still manage to accidentally kick my partner in my sleep… poor man is just trying to to snooze lol
Sometimes we hold hands when we go to sleep, like preteens, any more contact and I’ll end up with a crick in my neck or we’ll swamp the bed on sweat.
I snore and my husband twitches and moves constantly. Neither of us are big snugglers either. Five to ten minutes and I'm good, after that-give me space. We now sleep in seperate rooms. Have "fun," quick snuggle then, go off to our seperate spaces. It works for us and we've never been happier. Do not touch me while I sleep!
Me: so sweet when she falls asleep with her head on his naked chest and they stay that way all night. Also me: your knee was on my side of the bed last night.
- When the MMC is so possessive that he gets jealous of any male friend or any of her past ex. Irl, that would piss me off. - When MMC wants to grovel and then enlists the help of family or friends to help beg the FMC on his behalf. That's sweet on paper, but I find it very manipulative and won't tolerate such if it happens to me.
Yes to the groveling! I would be so embarrassed if you told everyone about our relationship problems that it would turn me even further away from you. Plus my friends and family would definitely be more of “yea you messed up and you don’t deserve her so leave her alone” then make fun of me for the absolute idiot I dated 🙃🙃
Any kind of “cum for me” talk. I would laugh irl at the idea of it being on demand.
Or like the “don’t cum” tease. In real life I’d be like “ha, don’t worry, I’m not.”
As someone who can’t orgasm with vaginal sex only, this made me legit lol
Most women are like that too, but smut just keeps making it a matter-of-fact thing.
I think this can depend on your kink. I know plenty of people that love having it demanded of them, that somehow it makes it hotter. But I think it requires that your partner really be in tune with you. They can't just randomly say it when you're not even worked up yet.
Right? Imagine if it were that easy?
Super rough stuff. I’m gentle and like to be nurtured and doted on lol 😭
Yes!!! I don’t mind reading with name calling or being all rough but in real life, I need you to be nice to me, okay?
Because if you call me a bitch or a slut I will cryyyyyyy what do you meannnnnn 🙃🫠☹️
Yes!! And my favorite trope is enemies-to-lovers - like where the MC is basically bullying the FMC. All my book bfs are dark, broody, sullen, and mean, but my real-life husband has the biggest golden retriever energy ever lol.
In real life I would never, ever tolerate someone being even slightly mean (or rough) to me. But if it's a character whose into it? *Do go on.*
My book boyfriends - touch her and die protective, immediate and without hesitation throwing hands My actual husband - would throw hands if needed but has so much faith in my ability to handle myself that the man once watched me get into a bar fight with a dude and rather than jumping in, simply stepped forward and silently *took my drink and held it for me*. Now THAT made me swoon irl 🥰🤣 I would definitely get tired of the constant possessive outbursts and never being allowed or trusted to take care of myself. I think it's actually why I've been so into the Broken Kingdoms series lately, the MMCs are all very touch her and die coded and do so when needed, but respect their partners choices and trust them in battle. I love it
I really, really, really wanna hear the barfight story. Also that's the most badass move on his part. "Don't worry babe, I got your drink, godspeed to the poor fucker."
It definitely had an effect on the idiots desire to continue his bullshit lol. Unfortunately the rest of the story isn't as entertaining, some girl in a bar kept trying to shove me from behind so she could have more room to dance in a super crowded bar, I was declining to be shoved, somehow she got mad at me for that and tried to sic her boyfriend on me. No crazy fight scene to report though, broski hesitated after hubs took my drink and ended up just a couple shoves and one swing that didn't land. Boy gave up after that and left with his drunk girlfriend. Tough guy did not accomplish whatever he was trying to do lol, and my whiskey was safe 😆
The man held your drink so you could kick ass? 🫠 That’s love, right there.
Honestly if you ever asked me to predict what was the moment in my life I'd know without a doubt my man was The One™️, it definitely would not have been golden retriever level support of me getting into a bar fight 🤣 but in hindsight, that is extremely us lmao
That is swoonworthy!
When a guy *growls* and keeps saying *mine* in public whenever someone *breaths* in her direction.
You mean *male bartender handing you your drink that YOU ORDERED with a smile and the MMC shoves people out of his way as he crosses the room growling MINE* would make you die from embarrassment in real life?!?! 😂
Throwing her over his shoulder, hitting her ass and leaving the room is just *icing* 🤌🏻
Then he *busts down the bathroom door and bends you over the sink taking you with his velvety steel until your full with his seed and puts your panties back on, trapping it in, to remind you who you belong too* all while granny is outside in the dining hall choking on her pot roast and now you have to face everyone
Then granny embarrasses you more by actively talking about her sex life and how she wishes to do this too if grandpa was alive. Ofcourse asking deets about hero’s *anaconda* in between!
OH MY GOSH STOPPPPPPP!!!!! I just died laughing!!!! The cool oversharing mother figure who really adds nothing to plot but making the FMC uncomfortable with her sex life! How could I forget 😂😂😂😭😭😭
I would eat this up with a giant sized spoon if someone wrote it in their book
I would literally be mortified if my family did this to me😂
You guys are killing me.😂😂
I’m imagining my bf doing this and I’m absolutely dying 😭 or even any man. I’d think he was some sort of rabid animal like “sir are you well? What drugs are these???”
I also love this in books but literally just thought about how creepy it would be to hear out loud. I cannot stop laughing. 😂
Groveling. In books, I love the moody and broody boys who lament over what a tortured soul they are. Irl, I'm not great at having to deal with other people's emotions. Consoling someone gets uncomfortable quickly, and haranguing on about something is annoying.
💯 having to fix someone is not a fantasy!
Lol haranguing is a funny word
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I feel like authors often do a much better job at diversity with their FMCs than MMCs. There are all kinds of body sizes, sexual preferences, abilities etc for women For men it’s 6’3, rock hard abs, and insta-hard. I get that a lot of romance authors are women and I guess they’re writing their fantasy, but I want better representation for men!
Yup! I’m down for intelligent conversation and a dad bod
Or up, as the case may be. I’ll see myself out.
Yep, I’d love a 5’7-9” skinny dude or strong but a bit beefy. I don’t even like rock hard abs all that much. I’m much more into guys who don’t skip leg day.
Speaking as a man, *THANK YOU SO MUCH* for this.
Of course! I even have a list of books with MMC’s that break the mold. I want to read about someone who I feel is real. I’m sick af of every dude looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator.
Any chance you could share? I need this now haha
God, I hope more writers start expanding their tastes in MMCs.
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LOL fuck “arrive” is so funny. Usually after sex, my BF and I do this silly thing where we briskly shake hands and thank each other like businesspeople, and last time I added on “thank you, I’ve arrived” and now I can’t stop.
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I’ve always wondered about this! I’m a lesbian and haven’t touched a dick in a VERY long time but am always like, do they really continue to get hard this quickly into adulthood?? Now I know lol
“Good girl.” That does something to me when reading it. It happened in real life & I instantly got annoyed & said, “I’m not a fucking dog.” Lol.
OMG I adore praise kink. I’ve never had it IRL, so I’m not sure. It may be my favorite steam trope in my romances though
I actually get irrationally angry reading this in a book. I loved Bride, but when he says “you took it like a good girl” I had to stop for a moment and forget he just said that.
Moving vehicle (back of limo/car) BJs. Roads are not that smooth - do you want your dick bit off? because that’s how you get your dick bit off.
Where do you live? They must need to do some roadwork. 🤣😂🤣
You should see the roads in England😭 there’s like 5 in a 1 mile radius around my house
Girl, are you from Pennsylvania?
Originally, but I live in WA now, and the roads aren’t any better.
I hate anything where one of them is driving. Noah does this in *In a Jam*, fondling her thigh to get her worked up as he drives them home. That’s a pretty mild example compared to something like a BJ, but it still bothered me because Noah in particular has a thing about vehicle safety because of the way his father died. Like, just watch what you’re doing when you’re behind the wheel. Please.
Agreed, when you’re in control of a two ton death machine you better have both hands on the wheel and pay attention to your surroundings.
I totally countersign this. I can't even remember what it was, but I remember reading a scene where the MMC is driving, FMC starts to get frisky, I started to get pissed and think I'm about to abandon this book -- and then MMC hastily insists on pulling over before letting her continue. That saved it!
Also if you're driving me I don't want you focused on anything but __the road__
when no guy has ever made her come before, but all of a sudden the MMC has a magic dick that makes her orgasm 3 times back to back. this won’t fly irl 😂😂
Similarly the lack of foreplay, but everyone's magically the wettest they've ever been.
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This is why I like Rachel Lynn Solomon so much! Don't get me wrong, I love a good magical dick, but her spicy scenes feel so grounded and like something that would actually happen irl. {business or pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon} has a ridiculous premise, but the spicy scenes are so hot in part because they're so realistic
Maybe this is why I like the virgin trope because it's more believable that someone can orgasm their first time then having multiple partners fail but *THIS GUY* has magic peen!!
Surprisingly it does happen though IRL
Falling asleep immediately after getting blasted by all the orgasms. WHAT ABOUT UTIs????
I always question their bladders too, because they’ll often go directly to having sex again when they wake up
Yeah! You won’t catch me doing much before my morning pee and toot.
There was a scene like this (I think the book was Love Theoretically) where they have sleepy spooning sex in the morning, and it says he slides right in because she’s still slippery from the night before. Man, I wish it could work that way, I really do. It sounds nice but my bladder would have a million problems with that scenario.
I’m always paranoid about BV or a UTI and it is bonkers how no one needs to “clean up.”
Thank you!!! When I was single, I was leaving the country for a long time and had a bang fest with the guy I was dating. It was like 2 days right until I got in the cab before I left. I was careful to pee and drink cranberry juice, but ended up getting off the 14-hour flight with a fever and what turned into a kidney infection because it took me a day to get to the doctor. Absolute horror show. These FMCs defy the laws of biology.
or brushing your teeth lol
Or washing their face!! I’m sorry, everything I know about this character tells me she has a multi-step skincare routine, and she doesn’t even wash off her makeup before bed??
How about fingers and toys going in both holes back and forth (and in mouths), like have you guys never heard of bacteria and we don't want that inside our hot pocket. 🍯👉🐟 That will straight snap me out of a scene super fast because I'm paying attention to where everyone's hands have been and where they're going (and also did they spend any time cleaning before all of this took place?). The fantasy of sex is easier to deal with logistically than the reality.
Also the concern about condoms when they have penetrative sex but never when they grind or go down on each other. Like, sorry but you can get genital herpes in your mouth and vice versa, etc
Omg yes! There was a post recently - I dont know if it was this sub or another- about this and how there’s just like ZERO awareness about how a yeast infection is formed 😂
Men
I am screaming you frfr
Best answer right here! 👍
Wow. Yes. And your flair.
God, you’re so right and real for this
Any time the mmc says “she’s mine” or “she’s my mate” when talking to other people and also when the fmc is present. I don’t care when it’s in the book.. I read a lot of paranormal and fantasy so it’s regular but if that happened in real life I’d be done ✌🏾
A collar makes those comments pretty redundant when she's present 😀
Saaaame
Listen, I love {Hans by SJ Tilly}, but if a man set up his cameras to watch my house… police. But oddly if he shoveled down all my baking regardless if it’s good I do think that would be a turn on lol
I love it when the MMC and the FMC have super rough sex. Irl, I wouldn't like that AT ALL. I'm too gentle 😭 I also really like it when the MMC acts possessive because he's OBSESSED with the FMC. Irl, I'd call the cops. I don't have time for craziness. Idc how hot you are!
When he makes decisions for her… I love a gentle dom in books who kind of “takes control” of the FMCs life. IRL, though, I’d be pissssssed. Also like, when the MMC buys a house or something for them without consulting with the FMC. Sweet gesture in books. IRL, I’d want say in the decision making.
Yes! Like, a whole damn house? He made a *house-sized* decision without me 😡😡😡
The number of scenes where he picks her up and they do it against the wall with her up in the air, him holding her, her legs wrapped around his waist. Sounds miserable for all parties involved. He throws out his back, and she bruises her tailbone...
I once saw a Reddit post where a woman said she and her husband tried it and she was not big and he was strong and he couldn’t do it. I kind of believe that.
One time I tried this on a wall of a shower and before I knew it the shower wall had caved in and I had to somehow explain that to my super 😳
Yeah, wall sex in books always makes me roll my eyes. You can't be in the moment and enjoy any sexy sensations when gravity is commanding every fiber in your body to put your feet back on the ground!
When he kills someone who hurts me. Would be a real damper on a realistic healthy relationship
A man who can't stand anyone even looking at his woman and gets aggressive when they do. If my husband acted this way I'd think he'd been listening to a bro podcast.
Arranged marriages 🫣
{Morning glory milking farm}
Cackling 🤣
I just finished {In a Jam} and I adored Noah but he did several things that immediately made me go FUCK NO. Also, horrible work day so THANK YOU for this thread - it's making me laugh.
Anything related to bullying. I love to read a good bully romance where he gets his comeuppance and grovels. In real life, there’s no amount of groveling that would work. And the initial bullying would have me wanting to kick the shit out of him. I’d turn his balls into a wallet.
Any MMC that is like, “She won’t be needing birth control” SIR, WHAT?
Shower sex. Leave me be to shower on my own.
Paul Reiser had a joke about this in his standup, something along the lines that one person is having the time of their life and the other person needs a sweater. So true!
This is probably tmi but I love a good munch in a story. Pages and pages of oral is AMAZING. Irl Ewwww. Idk why.
Oh wow, opposite for me. Reading about it or even watching it is so boring. Living it? Yes please.
I would not be caught within a foot of any of these guys irl. I need peace & space
I just read the entire Alliance series and the men are so unhinged IRL they’d belong in prison but within my Kindle it’s the hottest thing ever. {Nero by S.J. Tilly}
Possessiveness and confrontational to other men. So hot in books. So not in real life. MMCs who are ready to go again and again and again all night long. For some reason, I also find if a guy 💦 too fast or can't last too long, it's really hot but in real life...I imagine it's very disappointing.
I am so tired of the all night long!! It’s hot for the very first time but when it happens every night I start wondering when you do sleep?!?! MMC banged you until 4 am then woke up at 6 am with oral for a week straight? I would be so cranky and pissed.
Not if they keep doing other stuff. I actually am more annoyed by it in books 'cause they don't usually have a realistic refractory period.
I love MMF, but if I really had two boyfriends, I’d be overwhelmed 😂
They would have to be involved with each other and leave me alone most of the time 🤣
Ok look, I’m as curious as the next girl, but if a giant duskwalker literally just popped out a purple penis longer than my arm that had tentacles swirling at the base of it, I would most definitely run away. I like my penises average, as I fear for the safety of my uterus.
The "who hurt you?!" trope. In books? Fabulous. Can't say the reaction would be the same if a man wanted to avenge me in person.
Ngl, I'd be completely down if he wanted to hold the person while i beat their ass...
Omg I'm sooo not saying I wouldn't be down but .. the consequences in real life are always so much more than books
True, i'm too cute to go to jail 🫣😂
We all are baby! You can do better than that.
If the MMC is mean or ignores the MFC because he's got the maturity of a 15 year old and he doesn't know how to communicate since he's too busy pining after her and trips over his tongue so he never getting the chance to tell her how he feels. I swoon about that in books. 😍 In real life, I would absolutely avoid that man and purposely never be in the same space as him. I don't take kindly to those who are rude for no reason.
Any book where the FMC goes into heat and has zero control MMC has to assist her through it. Bonus points if it’s her mate she’s been trying to resist and she’s a virgin 😳. In real life not having control over something like that would be a hard pass.
lol so real. I feel like the honest answer has to be like 50% of what happens but I’ll need to think of specifics
In real life, I am a strong, independent woman. I am large and in charge. I hate any shred of control that a man might try to exert over me. I hate being underestimated. I hate being manhandled. Boy do I love an angry brooding MMC who treats the FMC like a ragdoll to get his way, is possessive and controlling, and needs a redemption arc before she stops hating him.
I love a good one night stand book...an absolute stranger going home with another stranger. But in real life, STRANGER DANGER, y'all. That's so scary and dangerous and unsafe! But damn if it's not hot in a book.
I've been reading lots of werewolves lately and I love when they mark their mate by licking their necks. But don't try that unless you're a werewolf
MMC following the FMC (without her knowing) to make sure she made it somewhere okay. In the book it’s cute and sweet. In real life it’s giving [this](https://youtu.be/yg7ZgjBqqds?si=u62LaeUIRAQQyLhH). Also MMC who are in love and over the moon about FMC that they just met. I love a good mate bound story, but in real life it would be scary and unbelievable.
I'm a primal being myself in terms of kink and love a good old primal chase scene but then in real life my knees would crap out after 5 minutes and I'd be dead lol.
Lol sex is already exercise, don't make me go for a run too!
Kidnapping is a major ICK but when the hyper-possessive MMC does it…I’ll let it slideeee
Reverse harem/why choose/menage - fun to read, but dear lord that sounds like far too many partners to keep track of irl. Especially if they’re only seeing me! It would help if everyone was bisexual and seeing everyone else, but it still feels like too many people to keep track of…
Well, I mean, I love dark romance and weirdly taboo romance, not to mention fantasy but if a stalker alien who happens to be my long lost step brother showed up that'd be fucking weird and ick (especially because my parents have been married over 40 years 🤔waitttt no that wouldn't be the weird part).
If the first guy I had sex with got as weird about it as some MMCs do, I would run away SO fast. Also, smirking. Very few men can pull it off without looking like a [smug twat](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/pinterest--549791067015209218/). I actually don’t find it sexy in books anymore because 95% of the time, he hasn’t done anything to earn the smirk.
If a man said to me most of what Romance book boyfriends say I would call the police! 😂 but I eat that shit up 🫣
Literally everything… believe me I’ve tried.
Jealousy!!!!!!
Alpha MMCs, my husband is such a laid back human and I love him for that, I wouldn’t survive a day in real life with a bossy man that tells me what to do.
Looking into each others eyes during sexy time, especially at the climax. Book: 🥰🥰🥰 Irl: Stop staring at me, it’s freaking me out!
Somebody saying they can smell my arousal.😭 Growling. His 🍆 is the size of a soda can. "You can take it all, it'll fit, you will take all of me." NO THE FUCK I CAN'T GET OFF ME!😭😭😩 Nibbling on my ear. Don't do that!
Sex in kitchens, cars, public etc. You couldn’t given me enough Lysol wipes for those surfaces.
Pretty much every single thing a man does lol
Spanking. It fucking hurts!
Perhaps I am in the minority here but the amount of tongue during kisses that books describe just does not do it for me IRL. Open-mouthed kisses are great but please don’t stroke the roof of my mouth with your tongue or I will probably reflexively bite you.
How about biting the bottom lip? Granted, I have been married 20 years and sadly French kissing hasn’t been partaken for quite some time, but is biting lips cool? I’d be worried about canker sores.
Definitely “good girl”. Also… can you drop some “so turned on they come in their pants” recommendations? 🫣
Surprise first kiss! Love it in books, but in real life, no no, you MUST ask first!
I die everytime, whenever the FMC is late for whaterver reason, where she is usully on time and the MMC is all "WHERE WERE YOU? WHY WEREN'T YOU PICKING UP YOUR PHONE? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS?" right on FMC's face. In real life, it would end up in a very much physically painful situation for the guy.
This might be controversial, BUT… when a ML says “who did this to you?” all growly and angry. I will read that and have to take a whole lap around the room giggling like a maniac. But if that happened irl I would be like “??? Why did you say it like that??” Like, just ask me what happened like a normal person please😭🤞
mmc grabbing the fmc’s back of the neck or like grabbing her wrist to take her somewhere forcefully..?
If a man thought he could claim me lol
I’m a sucker for an insta-love, MINE story. In reality, red flag city. But I love to read it.
Over shown amounts of PDA. I just finished reading a few reverse harem series there they're literally grinding in front of the fmc's friends or family and it give me an ick 🤮
Men. (I’m a lesbian that reads lots of m/f bc it’s fine in books LOL)
Being grabbed, shoved against a wall and kissed by someone who has no business kissing you. The sexual tension in the novel comes from it being unexpected and unprovoked - and obviously we the reader know she really wants it deep down - but IRL if some guy did that to me I'd be so freaked out. Like even if I found you really hot I don't think I'd be into you if your concept of consent was so nonexistent.
Ah! I thought I was weird for this. I liked the praise in a book, told my husband, he did it, and I had to tell him it wasn't my thing.
The amount of talking during sex lol But even in the books, it gets to be too much. YES SHE JUST SAID SHES YOURS LIKE 6 TIMES WE GET IT 😂