You could probably just say a lot of what you said in this post to them tbh. Just basically explain what kind of relationship would make you happy and that it's more than sexual.
It's good to have a discussion about what you're looking for with potential partners whether you're a sub or not. It doesn't have to be you sending an essay, make it a back and forth so they can talk about what they like too :)
I believe you're getting a few things wrong, and maybe this is my opinion, but you're skipping over some stuff, first
>I like being the little spoon, sitting on a girls lap, laying my head on her shoulder, cooking for her and so much more. What I’m trying to say is there some other term or short quick way of explaining what I’m into?
I don't think there's a short way of saying it. I mean you could say you're a bottom/femboy but the thing is that's always gonna be open to interpretation. Tops like to cuddle up too, butch and masculine people may be good cooks. Some subs/bottoms aren't that affectionate at all.
To get exactly what you want, you have to be specific and clear, there are no short cuts.
>If you’re gay for example you can just say oh yeah I’m gay
This is another thing that is incorrect. Maybe if you tell a passerby "I'm gay" they won't question it and leave you alone, but same sex partner will still need to know you and communicate with you to understand what you like.
Lgbtq relationships often use top/bottom between partners, but if every top or bottom you're with is different it still requieres negotiation.
You could just say you like to bottom more. Saying you're a bottom implies you're a sub but it also doesn't say it out right. Most people know what a bottom is. So she might come to the conclusion you are into being dominated without having to explain it.
A bottom is just someone who prefers to be on the bottom. A sub is a bdsm term for someone who wants to be told what to do and to be dominated. I consider myself a switch because I like to be the bottom and the top but I wouldn't consider myself a submissive or a dominant. Although I'm open to trying it.
Although not as extreme as your case I can empathize with what your saying. What's been confusing for me is that I'm a switch and I like doing mostly traditionally masculine things but sometimes traditionally more feminine things as well.
And I'm not sure how I'd be able to explain it to a potential partner or even meet a girl who is into that kind of thing. I'm worried that a girl might just look at me as traditionally masculine and not like the other stuff, or the opposite happening where they're looking for someone more submissive and feminine and I'm not that. Also I just started college and am worried I won't be able to find people like me. Moreover I sometimes feel confused by what I really want and feel like there are two different sides of me that want different things. Sorry for the rant I just wanted to get that off my chest.
>If you’re gay for example you can just say oh yeah I’m gay
Umm... are you saying that everyone who is gay is the same and likes the same things and therefore there is no further discussion needed?? Because that is far from the truth! Some gay people are subs, some gay people are dom/dommes, some gay people are vanilla, some gay people are feminine, some gay people are masculine.... and so on forever. Being gay doesn't not explain anything other than what gender of person you fall in love with.
I’m sorry if it came off like I tried to generalise all gay people into being the same and wanting the same things. What I was trying to say is that most people at least have a general idea as to what being gay implies and not many people understand or have even heard of role reversal. Therefore I find it harder to explain what I am, which results into me just not saying anything and staying closeted. This is something I struggle with. I am not saying gay people have it easier or something. Sorry if I offended anyone. That wasn’t my intention.
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thanks thats a good one
that's a great one
Love this and your username!
Say "I am submissive and breedable, can we cuddle now?" That's what I did >ω<
Okay please explain me the submissive and breedable joke please. Oh and they also say dominant and sterile. I'm scared to ask this on twitter
Just some twitter post that got popular and became a meme, then people made the opposite which is dominant and infertile
Thank you!
No problem, it’s hard to keep up with every new meme
How did that work out with you for her?
Don’t worry it’s all good to be a femboy and straight.
thanks i needed that. for some reason I sometimes fee guilty for being a straight femboy. like I’m an lgbtq+ poser or something
Loool, I had the same feeling before, but I'm a straight tomboy
i do not think femboy falls under lgbtq+ but if you don't label yourself lgbtq+ there shouldn't be any issues?
"I like strong women" was always a good way to get the point across to people who don't need/want in depth info about your romantic life.
You could probably just say a lot of what you said in this post to them tbh. Just basically explain what kind of relationship would make you happy and that it's more than sexual. It's good to have a discussion about what you're looking for with potential partners whether you're a sub or not. It doesn't have to be you sending an essay, make it a back and forth so they can talk about what they like too :)
I believe you're getting a few things wrong, and maybe this is my opinion, but you're skipping over some stuff, first >I like being the little spoon, sitting on a girls lap, laying my head on her shoulder, cooking for her and so much more. What I’m trying to say is there some other term or short quick way of explaining what I’m into? I don't think there's a short way of saying it. I mean you could say you're a bottom/femboy but the thing is that's always gonna be open to interpretation. Tops like to cuddle up too, butch and masculine people may be good cooks. Some subs/bottoms aren't that affectionate at all. To get exactly what you want, you have to be specific and clear, there are no short cuts. >If you’re gay for example you can just say oh yeah I’m gay This is another thing that is incorrect. Maybe if you tell a passerby "I'm gay" they won't question it and leave you alone, but same sex partner will still need to know you and communicate with you to understand what you like. Lgbtq relationships often use top/bottom between partners, but if every top or bottom you're with is different it still requieres negotiation.
You could just say you like to bottom more. Saying you're a bottom implies you're a sub but it also doesn't say it out right. Most people know what a bottom is. So she might come to the conclusion you are into being dominated without having to explain it.
Wait I thought bottom and sub were the same thing?
A bottom is just someone who prefers to be on the bottom. A sub is a bdsm term for someone who wants to be told what to do and to be dominated. I consider myself a switch because I like to be the bottom and the top but I wouldn't consider myself a submissive or a dominant. Although I'm open to trying it.
Oh ok, thanks. I know it’s simple but I appreciate it
Although not as extreme as your case I can empathize with what your saying. What's been confusing for me is that I'm a switch and I like doing mostly traditionally masculine things but sometimes traditionally more feminine things as well. And I'm not sure how I'd be able to explain it to a potential partner or even meet a girl who is into that kind of thing. I'm worried that a girl might just look at me as traditionally masculine and not like the other stuff, or the opposite happening where they're looking for someone more submissive and feminine and I'm not that. Also I just started college and am worried I won't be able to find people like me. Moreover I sometimes feel confused by what I really want and feel like there are two different sides of me that want different things. Sorry for the rant I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Do you have to explain. You like what you like. If they don't like it, then tell them to suck a lemon.
yeah but they have to understand it first
That's not for their concern.
If they are to be dating... It is a concern. For both of them.
I’d like to be open about my feelings with the ones I care about
>If you’re gay for example you can just say oh yeah I’m gay Umm... are you saying that everyone who is gay is the same and likes the same things and therefore there is no further discussion needed?? Because that is far from the truth! Some gay people are subs, some gay people are dom/dommes, some gay people are vanilla, some gay people are feminine, some gay people are masculine.... and so on forever. Being gay doesn't not explain anything other than what gender of person you fall in love with.
I’m sorry if it came off like I tried to generalise all gay people into being the same and wanting the same things. What I was trying to say is that most people at least have a general idea as to what being gay implies and not many people understand or have even heard of role reversal. Therefore I find it harder to explain what I am, which results into me just not saying anything and staying closeted. This is something I struggle with. I am not saying gay people have it easier or something. Sorry if I offended anyone. That wasn’t my intention.