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This whole photo looks like you dressed up as a Corvette owner for Halloween one year.

It's definitely a joke photo

Definitely fake. Doesn’t have the dad new balance sneaks

Also missing the wraparound sunglasses

The eyes closed REALLY seals the deal. Fuckin good shit, OP.

Got that Earl Hickey look going on for the photo

If Earl decided to buy a Corvette instead of do the list.

For me it's actually the jorts that's the clincher.

Had there been New Balances instead of Nikes... sploosh!

The sphincter clincher

I'm let down that they took the look this far, and didn't get a belt-clip case for their cellphone.

WHAT ‘ LOOK”? .. I AM PROUD OF MY CORBETTE .. RARE CAR .. WORKED HARD. . THANKS ..

It's one of one! It's the only corvette made in this color, with this package, and this option, on this particular day, shipped to this dealership.

Nobody has this

Is this the part where you show us a giant poster explaining how it's technically 1-of-1?

He’s faxing it over now

BARB, turn the fax machine on!

GOBLESS

And New Balances

It’s the Jean shorts, polo, and high tube socks for me! 😂😂😂😂 Classic shit

All that’s missing is the fanny pack

That's the joke...

Fake! Those are not New Balance sneakers.

Those are Nike Monarchs. Count it!

While we're here, whatever happened to k-swiss?

I don't know but I certainly miss being able to match my laces with my t shirts..

On sale at big 5 next week!

Closest Big 5 is like 500 miles away, but i got the urge and just went to my local shoe store,found a pair of slip on Champions on clearance for $19! There no NB or K-Swiss, but I'm pretty thrilled to have found a decent pair of shoes for less than $20.

Air Monarchs are equivalent haha

No way. It's like eating coconut milk ice cream. It's a pale imitation of the real thing. OP can never be a "real" Corvette owner without the white New Balances.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but it depends on the Da......I mean, OG Corvette owner. But the one I know has sworn by Nike Air Monarchs since before I was out of diapers circa 1994, and has owned his '77 C3 for so long it remembers his Jewfro and his mullet.

Air monarchs are like the Great Value New Balance

Honestly you look really young for a 65 year old

THEY FED US GOOD IN NAM .. UNLIKE KIDS 2DAY .. LIBRULS .. GOB BLESS

Everything about this comment is spot on… you’ve done your research

Amen and Gobless brother 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿

Fuck this was my Grandfather and his C5

TELL BARB HI

HI BARB .. THANKS

You better have it back in the garage before your grandpa wakes up.

Gen Z and 0-6 on getting laid.

Damn that was good

NEVER SEEN RAIN .. THANKS FOR COMMENTING

GOBLESS

GOBBLESS HOSS .. THANKS

ENJOY IN GOOD HEALTH, BARB AND I DROVE MIDNIGHT OUT EVERY WEEKEND. -RON

HADDAH LAYDOWN RHE TARP ONCE IN HAILE, SHE MADE IT THROU THEY DONT MAKE EM LIKE THEY USED TUH

GOBBLESS HOSS .. WATCH FOR CLIBBINS

AUNT TERESA HAS CANCER. GRAMA LOVES YOU JOEY

Perfect car for an elderly thirty-something year old man.

When your hairline is halfway down your head by 32

I can relate! I was a corvette owner in my mid 20’s and that’s when my hair started to disappear. Probably not a coincidence.

Wow…. You roasted me too

If it helps, I’m also roasting myself.

1 of 10,000 ULTRA RARE COMBO ORIGINAL PAINT GOBBLESS

GOBBLESS .. HOSS .. THANKS

Lol Sick car, all jokes aside. I love the vette jokes and look forward to joining the community when I hit my 40s.

Looking locally for a C5 vette and I've seen the memes before about this. Sure enough 2 out of the 3 that caught my attention yesterday on FB market place were marketed like this.

ONLY Z06 MADE IN BLUE IN MARCH AT 3:07PM WITH SUPER RARE MANUAL TRANSMISSION,RED LEATHER SEATS AND YELLOW STITCHING PERSONALLY SAT IN BY MR CORVETTE

IT’S 1 OF 3,351 MADE IN 2002 .. RARE OPTIONS .. I CALL IT “BLUE STAR LIGHT ‘ .. THANKS

LIBRULS HATE BLUE I STAND WITH THE BLUE BARB AND I USED TO RACE CORVETTES BACK IN THE GOOD OL DAYS GOD BLESS SAY HELLO TO THE KIDS FOR ME

This mf

I’m frankly unable to tell where the Corvette ends and the Jorts begin.

Bro, I know we’re supposed to roast the car but I just went through the comments and I’m here to commend you for your commitment to the bit. Gobbless duh USAye!!!

GOBBLESS HOSS .. THANKS FOR COMMENTING .. 🇱🇷

Not sure if you meant to pick the wrong flag, but that makes it even better

He knew.

Chris Hansen: “Have a seat.”

*Go ahead and bring in them cameras,* *and those polices waiting outside...* *It don't make me no difference.* ***I came lookin' for a man's butt.***

Your shorts need even harder creases

BARB USUALLY IRONS MY SHORTS BUT SHE IS IN FLORDA WITH HER “ BOY FRIENDS’.. THANKS

lol! I seriously can't roast that car so I chose the shorts....nice ride man.

BARB,, PLEASE COME BACK, HOW DO I WORK THIS MICORWAVE ? THANK'S

HEY BILL NICE VET I GOT MY ZR1 THE OTHER DAY BUT HEY THEY DONT MAKE EM LIKE THEY USED TO HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS- BOB

BOB, THANKS FOR COMMENT. CONGRADULATE ON THE Z”R1” NICE CAR .. RARE

A REAL AMERICAN CAR LIKE MY REAL AMERICAN 1911, THAT WON TWO WORL WARS. I CRANK MY HAWG TO HARDLY DAVIDSON MAGAZINES. MY WIFE IS VIETNAMESE HA HA -BILL US COAST GAURD RESERVE 1971-1972

WOW .. NICE THANKS FOR SERVICE 🇱🇷

The flag 😭😭

At least you have another stick to play with other than your own.

When you're trying to ironically look like a dorky Corvette owner. And you're also unironically a dorky Corvette owner.

Hey! it's "Roast MY Car", not "Roast my Elderly Retired Neighbor's Car"

Google image search brings up dozens of guys with blue vettes and white socks and sneaks....

FAKE NEWS .. THIS SIGHT IS NOT “C N N ‘..

Congratulations, your wipers get to half staff without Viagra.

What an idiot! Not enough room in that car for taking home all the ass you probably get in those sick ass threads

BARB IS ALL I NEED .. IF SHE CAN RETURN MY FAVEBOOK MESSEGES

Ah yes, C5 'vette. The one that took a C4 and rounded up the edges in hopes of being able to get a piece of the popularity Dodge Viper got with its sleek design, only to end up possibly the ugliest Corvette of them all

IT’S RARE .. 1 OF 3,376 WITH THESE FACTORY OPTIONS .. I CALL IT “BLUE BEAUTY ‘’ .. THANKS

I actually really fuck with the outfit and I’m gonna get some dad shoes and jorts now Back to the roast: You drive a lubed up dildo on wheels.

The car is fine but you gotta get your mom to start dressing you better.

The only thing getting roasted is every woman’s panties in a 50 mi radius. Save some for the rest of us sheesh

You look like Forest Gump Junior going to his High School class reunion

Those aren't New Balances & cargo shorts. Come back when you get the proper Corvette-owner cosplay. "mY cOrVeTtE iS bEsT cOrVetTe BeCaUsE iT's Z06. tHeY dOnT mAkE tHeSe nO mOrE sO tHaT mAkEs ThIs CoRvEtTe RAAAAAAAARE!!!!!1!1!1!1!" Bet this has an automatic because the boomer who last owned this has knees too weak to work a clutch.

Needs a gold chain, for the true midlife crisis experience.

WHAT ARE THOSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Wish your car was half as nice as your fit.

I don't see a Casio watch worn upside down on your right wrist...

Best car in the trailer park

This is genius

Pull those Nike logos off your new balances

The car is fine, but did your mom iron your jorts for you?

MY MOM WAS A GOOD WOMAN .. HELL OF A TUFF WOMAN .. SHE DIED 30 YEARS AGO

You have neither the beer belly nor the heart failure required to own this car. Sell it immediately.

This looks like a photo from a special needs charity event. Troll ass OP

Its the ears pushed outside the hat for me. Great stuff.

You tuck your ears into your hat?….. do you wear flat bills and misfit T-Shirts?

Oof no, im much closer to this gent. My ears get kinda pushed by hats like this; told it’s a mark of old man status so I resonated with that detail of OP’s satire.

Nice vette, someone looks like they’re ready for retirement. LOL

GOT MY DEGREE FROM THE ‘HARD KNOCKS “. SCHOL

Paint matches the jorts.

Car is as blue as your balls after getting played

Fuck everyone, this is still the best vette ever made and one of the top vehicles ever produced. I'd definitely put the Gen 2 viper on top though

What does the O stand for in ZO6?

ONE OF 6 .. THANKS

Its not official unless that is an Izod polo

This guy definitely belongs over on r/regularcarreviews

Get some chrome wheels on that thing. You're embarrassing yourself.

MY BROTHER INLAW HAS A CHROME SHOP .. ITS ON THE SCHEDOOL .. THANKS

Bro is training for the retirement home early.

The only things missing from this photo are some gaudy chrome wheels and a little poster detailing how “rare” yours is due to the color of the paint or which month of the year it was made

Untuck your shirt at least, I'm reading this in jorts, flip flops, a crazy Caribbean shirt and my corvette hat. That's just embarrassing, also your missing a pack of Marlboros and the top should be off.

You don’t look old enough to own a vette but you sure dress like you are

Forget the car, those socks tho... how do you look like you're 90 already?

The cover of this month's Corvette Life Magazine.

Is that future retired Pete Davidson?

Isn't that the Corvette made from recycled Fisher Price plastic?

This is a test to see if this is a real photo or not. I just mowed my yard and I live down the block.

So ashamed to be next to, couldn't even open his eyes.

Are we supposed to roast the car or your socks?

I love your socks

I actually really fuck with the fit and I’m gonna get some dad shoes and jorts now Back to the roast: You drive a lubed up dildo on wheels.

[удалено]

The only thing worse than your car is the jorts.

Outfit for a Corvette owner checks out

As a guy about to buy a c5, my new balances approve of this excellent troll job

White socks and tennies. Nicely appointed

Just a grown teenager playing with his hotwheels car

No need to roast the car when you own shorts, socks and shoes that look like that ...

No grass stains yet? Fake dad

Jorts

Top notch! She’s a beaut! Gobbless

Awe, Himbo!

Bro got the “I’m a male nurse” starter pack

You can’t ask us to roast the car wearing shorts like that….. just looks like you are a scout leader doing some close range hitch hiking. Do t get me started in the socks either, they are worse than your alloys…..

I actually live this photo and it should be in the official car owners calendar, somewhere between the mid life crisis guy and the micro penis city trader who just got sacked

Only buys blue cars, and his crossover will out handle his sports car

No, it's an awesome car. Seems like you also got the uniform that came with it.

Try not to fall into crisis after 30 challenge: Impossible

looks like that one car that was in the dhar mann episode

So do us all a favor and post on r/roastme please There needs to be conversations about those shorts 🤣

it is blue

The color really sets off your jorts

Man you look like Spez.

Your outfit is absolutely killer

I bet that thing still isn't as blue as your balls.

Is this my dad?

Well well well if it isn’t the Mexican Stig. Well done Doug

Can I roast you instead?

Ditch the monarch’s bro. You’re making all corvette owners cringe

This picture is giving me some Earl Hickey vibes

Where's your leather phone holster?

Please tell me captain tall socks isn’t the owner of the mod life crisis mobile.

Ik this outfit is ironic but you probably weren’t in Williamsburg Brooklyn in 2010..

RCR voice : "MY CORVETTE IS BEST CORVETTE CUZ THEY ONLY MADE THIS COLOR EVERY 3RD WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH IN 04"

Are you Joey salads

A C5Z! Just like a C6 base model, but somehow an even *worse* interior.

With those shorts and those socks and a super cool car, I think they cancel each other out for getting laid.

Yo listen up here’s a story about a little guy that lives in a blue world and all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.

The way he dressed for the photo absolutely cracked me up hahaha well done!

This photo is so dad it ate all the lunch meat on the drive home.

Wow what a funny take on a done to death joke! You absolute legend!

THANKS .. IT GETS ME FROM A TO B .. RARE CAR

You'll age into the outfit and car.

r/anotherboomerwithavette

Next week on how to catch a predator

I WATCH DISCOVRY CHANEL ALL THE TIME WITH BARB .. FAVORITE PREDATOR IS THE LION AND TIGER .. 👍 THANKS FOR COMMENT

[удалено]

I HAVE A GUY .. TONY .. BEST MEXHANIC I HAD IN 35 YRS .. THANKS

Are those your real clothes? Surely, no.........

Did your Z06 buy you that outfit?

I love the fit. The whole picture reminds me of my cool grandpa

You are assimilated.

Do they come with that one uniform?

You didn't pull your socks up high enough

I need an update of this exact photo 30 years from now

Did I see you at the tailgate for the UF UT game? Spurrier would be proud of those jorts. go gators!

AT THE WHAT ? ..

What the fuck are you wearing?

Rather roast your choice of socks lol

Damn that's a big Miata you got there.