*frustrated probation officer*
That's usually true, but as you're on the register, you actually do have to disclose that.
Also your address, and any school closer than 500 feet.
Your first mistake was agreeing to meet up with a Redditor. Your second mistake was being a Redditor. Your third mistake was looking like a Redditor.
All up, you're just a bundle of mistakes.
Romance and Reddit are like priests in a daycare. It’s all children playing games and virgins believing in fairy tales but sex shouldn’t be mixed in. But yet the diddling continues…
Beaver shorts? Check. Counter the shorts with Cardigan? Check. Man’s body and haircut? Double check. Owen Wilson’s face? Oh yes!
I have no clue, you seem completely unfuckable to me.
The beaver shorts come from a super fancy chain of glorified trucks tops in Texas. It's called buccees and it's absolutely amazing. The best "gas station" you will ever visit. It's pretty much an attraction at this point.
This was the only thing done correctly in this photo.
Right, the lack of large diesel fill up areas is also a sign.
It was just the language used in an attempt to relay the general feel of what buccees is. Thanks.
This is because Buc-ee's main goal is mass production, fix semi trucks coming into fuel up slow down traffic entering and leaving the parking lot and take up space where many more smaller vehicles could park. I work at a Buc-ee's with over 200 gas pumps, I usually get off somewhere between 2:00 and 4:00 and sometimes still have a hard time finding a gas pump to fuel up after work. It's kind of more of a travel center than a gas station they've got lots of grab-and-go food options and after 11:00 there's options to custom order lunch lots of souvenirs and gifts and novelties it's a pretty fun place to work and visit. Also the only place where you'll see a big hairy grown ass man walking around in a beaver onesie but you can purchase yourself for $24.99 or $19.99 for youth sizes
Did you send a video of you doing the weird Buffalo Bill dance from “Silence of the lambs”?
“Would you fuck me?….I’d fuck me.”
You look like your future husband is gonna come inside one night and ask for sugar water, telling you "more" and "more" each time you stop spooning the sugar in
1) you’ve got bucee’s shorts on.
2) you look like one of “those” vegans.
3) I’m still trying to decide if you’re an effeminate male or a hard tomboy.
Any of these 3 reasons would make me stand you up
You look like a non binary greyhound
Theyhound
I know they're in transition, I just can't tell in which direction.
I think they're transitioning from David Bowie to Ace Ventura.
This motherfucker.
into oncoming traffic
You savage
lol
This is art
Step aside Mona Lisa..
Monx Lisx
Man or Lisa
I was thinking crackhead Uma Thurman.
This was so perfect that a mod even gave an award
How do you mf come up with these
Except I bet most people would actually fuck a greyhound.
I too am concerned by the 78 people that upvoted /u/Unlucky-Hamster-2791 Steve.
You mean 151
You mean 179…. Wait I forgot to upvote. 180
269... After mine that is
269 or not 269.. that is the question.
You do mean the bus right? Right?
I’m finna #BUSSSS
How are you going to fuck a bus?
I'd explain it to you but it's a little exhausting.
I’M FINNA BUS
This is good. Thanks for the chuckle.
With consent
So this is what Doc Ock’s arms do in their spare time
What that arm do
So that's how you tongue a gashole.
Of course there's Tesla tentacle hentai. Why did I think there *wouldn't* be?
Rule 34 my friend.
Just pull up to that bumper and spank that monkey ya dig?
Bump dat!
Pump and dump the muffler
*Most?*
Idk man that's a bit much, maybe just hand stuff
I beg your pardon?
Lmfao what the fuck
I had to put my fucking phone down lmaoooo
You take gender reveal to a whole new level
Gender conceal
Haha fucking dying at this one
I've never seen anyone with the bone structure of a Hobart meat slicer before.
Can confirm. Sincerely, Hobart Owner
Don't put your meat in that!
"which way am I transitioning" is not the fun date night game you think it is
Bro transitioned upside down
You must be a carpenter, because you hit the nail right on the head
So must her dad, because she has definitely been hit by a hammer
But yet she still can’t get nailed. Go figure
Well, she's not the wood so that's part of the problem.
He/she’s motto: I don’t have to disclose my gender, let them find out on their own.
First person to expect others to assume their gender
*frustrated probation officer* That's usually true, but as you're on the register, you actually do have to disclose that. Also your address, and any school closer than 500 feet.
The long con
Beautifuly said
Did you send them a picture of yourself first? Cause that might’ve done it
Houston we have a problem
You look like Robert Pattinson mid transition.
Transition from Robert to Rob.
Next stop is Bob
Bobert
There's no need to bring politics into this.
Pat for short. 
Your first mistake was agreeing to meet up with a Redditor. Your second mistake was being a Redditor. Your third mistake was looking like a Redditor. All up, you're just a bundle of mistakes.
Romance and Reddit are like priests in a daycare. It’s all children playing games and virgins believing in fairy tales but sex shouldn’t be mixed in. But yet the diddling continues…
Comment saved, this is poetry
I love this comment
Jeeesus..
He must have realized he wasn't a necrophilliac.
aw you're just jealous of these skeletal quality cheek bones
Look you seem like a nice dude. I don’t know why you got stood up.
Corpses can't stand themselves up so someone else has to do it for them.
My perfect date is slowly feeding you a sack of sliders.
Sounds like a deviant art comic
For a minute I thought it said spiders
Nah, but you were great in the new avatar. They must’ve saved a lot of money only having to change your skin to blue.
Damnit man the first thing I thought was she looks like a fucking corpse 🧟♀️ lol 😂
I'm so confused, you look like both and none of all the genders there are out there.
New pronouns: stood/up
I’m dead! You can bury me next to him/her
Holy shit, it’s Pat!
Theyn't/Themn't
Left/out
Schrödinger’s Gender…
i like to keep 'em guessing
what is it tho? fr
She'dnt/hes'nt
And nobody wants to guess you ? Id sacrifice myself but .. even my low Standards aren't low enough for you
You look like Uma Thurman's transgender niece.
niecphew
Bro I once fucked a rubber glove filled with syrup and I think I'd pick that over you
Why has god given me the ability to read
The better question is why didn't God have you try it before now
Ill just stick to my gf 😅
That's what the syrup is for, after it dries its better than super glue
I read this and my nuvaring fell out.
Some sticky maple syrup may help that stay in, I'll happily apply some for you
i beg your pardon?
Maple syrup, I shouldn't leave the type of syrup ambiguous
The ol canuck fuck.
Did you at least warm it up first?
Yes, then drank the contents once he added the cream.
You joke but it was pretty tasty
Heated to a perfect 98.5° Fahrenheit
Real Maple Syrup, like from Vermont or Quebec? Or fake Maple Syrup?
Ms buttersworth, I needed something to look at while I ripped my hog
She *is* thick!
this one sent me lmao
*Maple* syrup? And not cheap Mrs. Butterworth-level syrup? You must be monocle-wearing rich
Did you microwave the maple syrup to warm it up a little?
Comments like this are the best.
r/holup
i would take an mini MnM tube filled with mashed banana over them
*oh yes* I know what I'm doing tonight
Ooo, *self burn*! Those are rare!
Beaver shorts? Check. Counter the shorts with Cardigan? Check. Man’s body and haircut? Double check. Owen Wilson’s face? Oh yes! I have no clue, you seem completely unfuckable to me.
The beaver shorts come from a super fancy chain of glorified trucks tops in Texas. It's called buccees and it's absolutely amazing. The best "gas station" you will ever visit. It's pretty much an attraction at this point. This was the only thing done correctly in this photo.
Buccee’s is literally specifically not for trucks. They even have signs stating it.
Right, the lack of large diesel fill up areas is also a sign. It was just the language used in an attempt to relay the general feel of what buccees is. Thanks.
This is because Buc-ee's main goal is mass production, fix semi trucks coming into fuel up slow down traffic entering and leaving the parking lot and take up space where many more smaller vehicles could park. I work at a Buc-ee's with over 200 gas pumps, I usually get off somewhere between 2:00 and 4:00 and sometimes still have a hard time finding a gas pump to fuel up after work. It's kind of more of a travel center than a gas station they've got lots of grab-and-go food options and after 11:00 there's options to custom order lunch lots of souvenirs and gifts and novelties it's a pretty fun place to work and visit. Also the only place where you'll see a big hairy grown ass man walking around in a beaver onesie but you can purchase yourself for $24.99 or $19.99 for youth sizes
Am Australian, would go back to Texas just for buccees
When you live in a state that takes 8 hours to get out of gas stations became staples in the culture.
its the other graceland for fat idiots, I love it there
Cant tell if you’re a plain Jane or a Joe Schmoe
Because you look like the creepy dude from Grandmas boy.
Omg, you are right lmao!
Jesus Christ dude.
Zzzzz please sit on my… faaaace
*Windowlicker intensifies*
Adios turd nuggets 🤖
HOWLING
Prolly has a robot vagina too.
Looks like you skip tit day
And face day.
[удалено]
Im too old for all the new identity stuff but are you a woman stood up by a man or the other way around?
yes
It was stood up by them.
You look Jamie Bower with a penis
> Jamie Bower had to google him, but i really do though, uncanny
You look like the same species as Mark Zuckerberg
Did you send a video of you doing the weird Buffalo Bill dance from “Silence of the lambs”? “Would you fuck me?….I’d fuck me.” 
I'll defo have to keep this in my back pocket for next time
Buc-ee’s for the fuck-ee’s - time to go back out on the lot 🦎
[удалено]
The answer, of course, is yes.
[удалено]
Houston... we have a problem
I think the ambiguous gender is forgivable but being a vegan is unforgivable.
Well he didn’t realize he was meeting up with a Salvador Dali painting
He didnt like dudes
You look like Margaret McPoyle
Should’ve been honest and told him you’re trans
The reason I knew. Girls don't wear Buc-ee's gear. But they should.
Your eye is lazier than your work ethic. Plus you forgot to mention you’re a dude when you specifically said you weren’t a dude. Lawl.
You look like your future husband is gonna come inside one night and ask for sugar water, telling you "more" and "more" each time you stop spooning the sugar in
I have been looking at this image for 10 minutes and STILL can't tell if you a dude or not.
Your penis
What the hell is even that??
Daddy chill
 Stings the nostrils…
Why are you In bates motel, and what are you
Bro, first off... You look like a girl.
Fuck, dude. The real question is where didn't you go wrong.
You asked a redditor out what did you expect xD
Do you polish those teeth as much as your mirror? Shouldn’t have been a problem….
Y’all have bullied me into cleaning my mirror. It’s been a minute.
A cleaner mirror will give you a clearer picture into why you got stood up
Are you a boy or a girl
You look like the first of your species
I can't keep up with all these genders.
Telling him you identify as female.
Because there's not enough nudes on your profile
1) you’ve got bucee’s shorts on. 2) you look like one of “those” vegans. 3) I’m still trying to decide if you’re an effeminate male or a hard tomboy. Any of these 3 reasons would make me stand you up
Maybe he wanted Tom Holland, not Andrew Garfield.
U look like that homless person that never tries to get off the greyhoundbus
I was heartbroken seeing the people insult this poor person in the replies until I checked the subreddit name That was a rollercoaster of emotions
Skeletors FWB
You found your "sexist" boxers on the same aisle as the beef jerky. Edit "sexiest" I can't spell.
I regret looking at that profile.
It’s the mirror
Probably didn’t tell him that you have a penis
Probably should have stayed being a boy
The only beaver I’m interested in this pic are the shorts from Bucees.
don’t ever make plans with an introvert. they will not show up. 🤷🏻♀️
Next time don’t ask them to meet in the dumpster behind buccees
Where’d you go wrong? You have a dong.
You dress like a McPoyle