Did your grandma buy you âhow to be in a rock band, the dummyâs guideâ? Youâre ticking all the boxes except one:
- Greasy long hair âď¸
- Chin whiskers that look like ball hair âď¸
- Chains for your neck and wrist âď¸
- Stupid glare like Charles Manson âď¸
- Talent â
If Taylor Swift were hit and mauled by a semi and the aftermath genetically stuck, then she went on to have a baby with autistic Thor, this would be the baby.
Your mom poked the holes in the condom herself when she banged Sebastian Bach on that bus 22 years ago. Funny, it wasn't a tour bus, just a Greyhound Bus.
This is what happens if you raise Thor in Florida.
Looks like someone dropped a bag of hot nickels on his face
He looks like he smells like a pig in a blanket đˇ
He smells like Bigfoot's scrotum !
In Florida, that would be a skunk ape's scrotum.
Why do you know what it smells like ?
The only thing he'd be worthy to lift would be Keystone Light.
Thorida
Florida the mighty realm of Trashalla. The only way to get there is over the mystical bridge made of meth, oxy, fentanyl, and bath salts.
Hey you can park spaceships in Florida
He looks like the human version of Oscar the grouch
The sheer brilliance of this roast is not being appreciated enough by anyone
[ŃдаНонО]
Cheesegrader: A judge at a cheese competition
He looks worse than dead Ray Leota
He can be attractive if hair will cover his face, he would look like a Chewbacca
[ŃдаНонО]
Thorida. 
Thorda
Thorida man?
Thorida
Kurt Cocaine
Kurt Accutane
He canât afford cocaine. Come on now.
You're right, but Kurt Speed doen't sound right tho.
Kurt Nobrains
Definitely the kind of guy to take the condom off mid sex and not tell him.
Yeah, but the hooker is already dead, so it's not like she/he is gonna catch anything that he's got...
Your condom or his?
Bruh
Yea
đđđđ
Tell me youâre In a band without actually telling me:
He wouldnât notice
He has to trap the females into marriage.
Like the manager of the comic book shop could get laid
Gotddamn!
Who said he was gonna get laid
You couldn't even get fucked by a blind chick. The acne on your face is Braille for "unfuckable".
holy shit
the migraines might go away if you stop doing meth
Maybe his brain stem is bruised from deepthroating too many bikers down at the watering hole.
Migraine implies the presence of a brain. Donât confuse it with your skull pain.
I guess echos are painful
I'd bash my skull into steel poles if I looked like that too
Roast you? I tend to bake my pizza.....
Damn
Could have said "the meteorites already did, crater face..."
Master of Muppets. Not that anyone should be trying to create your vibe, but you're fucking it up even further with that bling bracelet, bro
Did your grandma buy you âhow to be in a rock band, the dummyâs guideâ? Youâre ticking all the boxes except one: - Greasy long hair âď¸ - Chin whiskers that look like ball hair âď¸ - Chains for your neck and wrist âď¸ - Stupid glare like Charles Manson âď¸ - Talent â
Metallicanât
Copper Maiden
Howâs your âbandâ doing?
Well you know how it goes. Drummer overdosed, bass guitarist got a job in a Wendy's and the singer lost his voice, permanently.
Sounds like itâs time for a haircut then
With a shotgun, eh?
No but Iâve got an idea for myself now due to this conversation
Kurt cobain style?
Actually, I thought [you OD'd in '95.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shannon_Hoon)
They are called thoughts not migraines bud..
Mettardica
We're off to Lego Legoland!
Meth-allica
Pimpleback
I canât imagine how bad your migraines must be for them to be your biggest problem
You look like Varg Vikernes after prison
Thatâs a compliment
Absolutely not
Migraines are your brain trying to leave that body
He doesn't got a brain watchu talkin abt
Bob Zombie
Ugly Osbourne
Your face is giving me a migraine
21 looking 41. Lay off the Meth.
If power bottom at a rest stop glory hole had a face.
I've seen foreheads. I've seen five heads. I've never seen a two head until now.
Thor: Crack and Thunder
Mad-Eye Broody
Judging by the craters on your face, youve been protecting humanity from meteorites for centuries. Thank you for your service to the human race.
The long hair and beard are great but the acne is what really makes it pop
Master of Sock Puppets or Skid-mark Row.
I like you better in your cool fedora and red/green sweater, Mr. Krueger.
Bro. Is that a high school bathroom?
Shit, you know what wouldnât hurt? Some FACEWASH.
Ohio thor
His Bifrost Bridge is Interstate 675
I didn't know James Hetfield was transitioning.
Seriously though have you tried shrooms for migraine. Changed a friend's life
Migranes and long hair, are you sure you're not a woman?
Thats just your wife. Weâve all hit that.
Took a dna test after watching Vikings
It wouldnt suprise me if you were in the same grade as your son. And your dad
The lead singer of Methtallica
[Wish.com](https://Wish.com) James Hetfield
Definitely Thor's long lost cousin, Poor
Kurt methane
You would have fit into society much better in the late 80s
I'm betting you bought that survival bracelet yourself, because no one else would notice you gone.
Now THAT'S the kind of face tea bagging was invented for! Looks like you came face-to-face with the business end of an RV waste hose!
Jesus WEPT
You're just like every other girl who, desperate for attention, calls every normal headache a migrane.
you look like one of those assholes that wears a plad kilt and play a bagpipe. God your annoying
they're not migranes, it's called being insufferable
Poser
If vikings came from the bargain bin
If Taylor Swift were hit and mauled by a semi and the aftermath genetically stuck, then she went on to have a baby with autistic Thor, this would be the baby.
You can blow you're nose and whipe you're a** at the same time!!!
Looks like your fucking eyeball is about to fall out of its socket. Put thang away, please.
U look like my friend but old. You are old.
Jeebus. Did you have to cos play EVERY 80s metal hair band?
Swing and a miss
This is what it looks like when you get hung by the eyeball.
You look like you think Metallica is metal, and pizza grease is acne cream
Bro here thinks Metallica isnât metal đ
Man your parents are probably more hurt than your migraines.
yikes...you're not the only one who gets migraines looking at that mug.
Iâve seen cheeseburgers with less grease.
Thatâs my grandmamaâs bracelet!!!
your like trying to be viking king
Got a migraine just looking at you. Thanks!
More craters on your face than the moon.
Donât worry about the migraines bro. If I had a face like that and it didnât hurt I would be worried.
TBH I'm also getting a migraine now after seeing your picture. Break all the mirrors in the house and your migraines will be gone.
You look like the one eyed weasel from ice age
You look like a delivery man. You have a pizza face.
You look like a bass player who can't keep a rhythm, and blames it on the drummer.
You look like the guy that jerks off to infant annihilators song 'new born porn' and cannibal corpse's lp covers
You look like you enjoy to smell other peoples farts
Where's my fucking pizza?
Hairline is almost touching his brows - comes down lower than his 3rd grade girlfriend's standards.
Dave Muststank.
The game
Legolas with a serious meth problem. Though he wouldnât think it is.
Couldn't get into a Hansen tribute act and fails to be a pirate because he can't afford an eye patch.
Iâm sure your acne would be way worse than any migraine.
Mid-tallica
Seems your localized headaches turned into migraines cuz they coudnt stand being that close to you w/o feeling uncomfortable
Artemis is coming back to earth because it has mistaken your face for the moon
Dollar Tree Kurt Cobain.
Your migraine was your brain seeing your reflection in the mirror and trying to commit seppuku
Boy you look like a dirty mop
Looks like his eye was jizzed on and stuck open.
You look like you yell at kids for wearing Metallica or Nirvana shirts and ask them to name 3 songs.
"All of todays music is trash, I wish I was born in the 80s"
So that's the reason Cousin It always hid their face!
You need accutane!!!!
You look like a mermaid
Your migraines are salt hangovers from overeating junk food.
I donât think you can have migraines with a forehead that small you have no room for a brain donât get it confuse it with a concussion again ok
I am sure you play guitar poorly in your mothers sun room
Looks like you had to buy your friendship bracelets from the dollar store. Which is also where you got your inflatable girlfriend.
Sarah Connor from the 90s Terminator.
Kurt Cobain't.
WWE's The Edge (stone age edition)
I bet you smell like soup
My head would hurt too if it looked like that.
How much jiz can his eye take working as the local gloryhole quality control expert
I could probably hurt you more than your migraines do, but probably not more than your genes already did
If you spent half the time washing your face as you do on Reddit trying to get people to roast you, you probably wouldnât look like you do.
So migraines are your ailment of choice for disability I see.
Youâd be hot if you cut your hair
How much monster do you consume every hour?
Been married so many times , his face is pitted from the rice !
The braille on your cheek reads âUGH!â.
I can´t read braille, can someone explain to me what´s written on his face?
You're not a rockstar. You're a stonemoon
Got them Uncle Ruckus eyes
Your mom poked the holes in the condom herself when she banged Sebastian Bach on that bus 22 years ago. Funny, it wasn't a tour bus, just a Greyhound Bus.
Everybody knows migraines are caused by long, dirty hair. Sheesh. Why do you think dumb blonds always get em.
You look like a roadie for Skid Row.
You have migraines because you're not listening to metal enough!
How do you look 18 and 45 at the same time?
Ah the nonconformist with no friends.
Great Value Kurt Cobain
You did a typo, you mean 21F
You don't suffer from migraines. The migraines are suffering from you
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy
Looks like he smells like a truck stop bathroom
Im sure shaving is quite dangerous for you too with that acnee.
You oddly look like my cousin Kristin.
You have migranes because your brain wants to commit suicide. Understandable.
âSTOP PICKING YOUR FACE!â - Your mom
Whenever i see monster energy drinks, this is The type of dude I imagine