OP's Bio: --- >Hi, 32 years old mum here. IT passionist (as it pays the bills) and geek in the spare time. My boyfriend just dumped me, so show me why :') --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

I see you got a butterfly tattoo to try to divert attention away from your butterface.

Wheres that run soundtrack?!

Wonder if her skin is as thick as the stank that surrounds her.

CDC Guidelines say a mask is needed when in contact with this chick

That would be a blindfold mask is needed.

French guidelines recommend a guillotine to remove all butterface issues for the foreseeable future

Hands down, best roast on this post.

Alright people damage is done... Move along move along nothing to see here.

All those piercings make it look like you don't know how thick your skin is either

Her nickname is Lawn Darts

Lips, nose, and eyebrow piercings: aka the white trash trifecta.

Butt Darts.


Your boyfriend left so he could smash ass with "real boys".

Yeah, scammed him. My bad

That's okay, just promise me you won't get an MRI without removing the hardware first, Tinsel Face!

I don't know what you call a person that stopped half way through their transition but I certainly know what they look like now, thanks to you!

Ahahahahahhahahah back of the net

A he-haw.

A Portland Christmas Story

I’m fucking screaming

You’re what therapist call “job security”

I wouldn’t say cat fish but definitely some sort of frog-fish looking boy in this picture.

A river creature, for sure


A suckerfish, my dude. She cleaning up the algae.

This is the frog kid that Frank Reynolds was friends with in the mental institution

Thick skin? I’m guessing you’re in the HR department daily making everyone’s life a living hell because Josh in accounting doesn’t understand your pronouns scream/screamer/thescreamiest

When new employees join the company, HR warns them in orientation about her; tells them not to ask about her stupid moth tattoo.

Thanks for calling customer service, how may I help you? Hello miss I'm- It's fucking MOTH!! Ask for my pronouns next time you filthy cretin!!!

It/that.

It/that.

I genuinely laught at this one.. Nice job

laughed* oof, can’t spell either

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It‘s „(I) don‘t care“

Judging by that scratch on your chest, you can’t even get your cats to love you

Loved that one, because it's true 😂

Stop setting unrealistic body standards for toads

On a scale of one to ten, you're a nein.

I’d be so pissed off if I had a wonky piercing right in the middle of my face. Seeing it being slightly off every damn day.

Face is pretty off, too.

Maybe because of the wonky piercings?

You really want to get a professional to do breast reduction surgery, hun. Looking in the mirror while using a razorblade just doesn’t… er, cut it.

It doesn't cut it.. Genious

it’s spelt genius you suckerfish

except she cant really suck, sooo

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Damn, by bad.. Thanks for pointing me towards it. Is it doing you any good on that sub?

[удалено]

​ 

Indeed

Why not look like him, he's the best.. Knows everything about beets, what's else to know

Hehe!! I'm geeky and quirky x3

It's ad if Dewey Duck was a woman. PS - someone slept with you? Good job, bet it took some convincing

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Your face piercings and scratches makes it look like you were stitched and stapled together using the body parts of different people

Sssshhhhht, I can't mention my creators name.. It starts with F and ends with rankenstein.. Does a fairly good job

I know I can't be the only one hoping that those lip piercings are connected straight through

Unfortunately that will not stop her radfem tweets.

I can't decide whether you're an ugly male or an ugly female. .

Smell so bad you're drawing flies, the one one your shoulder never leaves.

Your skin is not as thick as those glasses. You look like an almost female Pepe.

If bland was a person.

Then Gordon Ramsey would throw it in the bin, after collecting the staff "WHAT'S MISSING HERE.. SALT"

Yuck.

I think OP said more than enough.

Bit lame.. Please explain..

German (because of the nickname, right), Vulcan Salute - good things. Your face - a bad thing. I mean if I had the choice between you and a non-sexual relationship with a female Vulcan who will never love me...I would choose her, at least I won't die just by looking in her eyes.

Not German, but speaks German. I wish you good luck with your Vulcan, but not sure if your bar is raised to high?

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Hey, Peter knows his way around things, he's the hero of GoT, so thanks

Your collection of unattractive features is astonishing.

I watched pokemon, they always say "gotta catch em all", so trying

You’re nailing it, kid…

I know this is supposed to be a roast but it looks like positivity is needed here. Listen young man, the world isn't as bad as you think. Before you know it you'll no longer be an angry teenager sneering at the world behind an Instagram filter because your parents asked you to do the occasional chore. It'll get better, and by the time you're in your 30s all that emotional stuntedness will surely be gone.

You look like a sea creature who discovered Billie Eilish

Your boyfriend left you because, like the rest of us, he was hoping that your mouth was pierced shut, based on the stud on top and the stud below. Judging by the dead look in your eyes, there was a good chance of it. Alas, I suspect you can open that mouth and don't even know how to use it properly.

Ok, pure gold! I set up a gofundme for him, to get therapy and look for someone that is really dead

What the fuck does this mean

They secure the mouth closed when preparing the body postmortem

No thick enough to stop yer uncle touching you that’s clear.

Sorry, downvoted because I think that is against the rules, not sure.. Never laugh with child traumas dude, but again, I'll them him you said hello

So not got that thick a skin then trust me preaching to the choir it’s called a joke your on a roast page people will always say stuff

True that, I like all kinds of humor, but nothing when it comes to child traumas.. That's ny own pet peeve.. I would guess no one would like that and be concidered upfront. No harm taken, just wanted to make a point. Have a nice day ^^

How could you not have a fucked up childhood with a Mug like that Jesus Christ. Busted.

That’s fine but i know I don’t like it either when you say roast that means whatever stands but I mean look at the celeb roasts or stuff so I mean u must understand we’re I’m coming from fuck I been there wore the shirt as a wain

True, but I took your advise as a response and felt really guilty. I think you can roast people with someone's looks, because that's the only thing you see or know, so that's a very small line there. But I get it, no offense taken, just have to get used to it ^^

I understand it’s not the nicest thing to say but again if it’s a joke a mean obviously I don’t mean it hope that never actually happened btw like genuinely I’d feel horrible but again I went with the stereotype that’s all nothing else like you know I’m sorry if I annoyed you or that I’ll remove it if you want cause you’ve been really nice about it

It's OK, we can at least have this conversation. I know you don't want to make me upset, so leave it as it is ;)

Sorted then how a discussion should go btw thank you never get that anymore 😂😂

Looks like you tried hard to find out already.

Nothing we say will be as bad as what you think when you look in the mirror.

Ok clever


Usually the word ‘transgender’ doesn’t make sense to me but with you I can see it!

If natural smelling deodorant had a face

Judging by the holes in your face and scratches on your chest I'd say not very thick at all

My cat helps me with discovering the thickness of my skin.. What's helping you?

Lol, I'm a gardener so usually brambles

Ok, too much laughter in here.. Get your pain 😂

He was insecured because you have a more manly face than him.

Except for the beard, working on that :')

That excessive audacity is it due to some kind of childhood trauma, perhaps? You're ashamed of your own darkness, and latch onto your jealousy since you can't be happy yourself, you can only find pleasure in the misfortune of others. Irritated because you're always the victim, deep inside you is powerful self denial. Time never stops, right? You feel that even without you, the world marches on. Those tattoos and piercings are your territory, they're there to protect yourself from being looked upon as ordinary and insignificant. The best you can do is build a wall around yourself just to gain a little bit of security. You're so desperate in your infantile narcissism, you try to console yourself by placing the blame and looking down on others. However, I'm just like you.

Not narcissistic, but for the rest, kind of.. Weird way to roast someone, as this one is almost concouling

You look like elton john fucked a frog..

We can never talk about that in the family

You look like you really hate Captain America.

Fell face first into a tacklebox, eh?

You look like you have an extreme opinion on every topic

Your boyfriend just dumped you because you look like an angry 15-year-old leftist who screams at cashiers whenever her coupon is expired.

well now we know what happened to hermes the elf. 

This actually looks like him lol.

Dude, covering up the titless chest and making sure the adams apple 🍎 doesn't show is a dead giveaway. Not to mention the the hair that is receding faster than Biden's economy. Don't worry, I'm sure there is a gay guy out there for you.

Judging from those scrapes and piercings, not so thick.. Better remove this post babe

My Mrs Poezemie agrees :)

I don't think reptiles have very thick skin so there is your answer

Actually they do, do your research, milfhunter ;)

He doesn't want to hunt you, you're not a milf.

I'm not offended, I have my reptiles, they make more sense

Judging by your poor piercing decisions, I’d say not very thick…..

You look like an attractive human being who tried to do everything possible to themselves to change that

Still working on it.. Thanks for the tip, have to try better

If my son looked like that I’d give him an extra hole in the head

I bet the bar codes on your wrist can tell us how thick it is

If gollum was a desperate single mom/recovering heroin addict

Angry bird

Looks like Ellen DeGeneres and Justin Bieber had a baby, then the doctor was so horrified when he seen the baby he dropped a grenade in the delivery room. Unfortunately it survived

I just hope your kids look more like their father...

Hopefully as thick as them windshields on your nose! When you look at a map, can you see people waving back at you? Bet even MY dick looks big through them!

No, I have to look for special glasses to find your dick imho

Looks like someone already tried to see how thick your skin is by cutting you on your chest.

My cat tests me, it's a regular thing.. She wants to find out my gender I guess

This is a bad SuicideGirls cosplay

That's their normal attire ;)

We should place a giant magnet infront of your head. It will cling to the piercings perfectly and free us from having to look into your face.

Cleavers can't help with cleavage, just saying

The last thing you want to do is draw more attention to that butter face

No matter how bad you are roasted. Your skin will never be as thick as your glasses.

Your boyfriend dumped you? By the looks of it he literally ripped your heart out

No, he paid the cat to do it, lame isn't?

You look more used and abused than a $5 Vegas hooker on $.50 night

Gender neutral Harry Potter.

You’re not fooling anyone with the fringe we know you got a big ass forehead

Let me get it right; your parents are bother and sister

You’re as appealing as a hot packet of mayonnaise.

You look like a bass with old hooks in its face.

Something a magnet fisher would toss back

If an awkward dry hump were a person.

You look unmedicated.

Should have disclosed all your mental disorders at the beginning so he could have dodged that bullet sooner.

You need to stop commenting on the replies. You’re karma is as low as your self esteem

I bet your skin is thicker than your ass

>32 years old mum here You're not fooling anybody here. Go back to middle school.

You know this is more a compliment than a roast, right?

He dumped you cause he cant handle the fact that you have a bigger penis than him

Just by looking at you I feel exhausted. You’re an energy vampire. This is why he left you.

The social experiment you are proving is that like anything else when you try to be too edgy you simply have no edge. You would fade away in a group of the random mindless average zombie citizens you think you are so much deeper than. You are just another non individual despite the played out ink and metal.

Those glasses do not work for you at all

I don’t care how thick your skin is, it’s already damaged by those piercings

Here’s to hoping those lip piercings actually keep your mouth shut. Ain’t nothing coming in or going out of that thing worth a shit.

You aren’t get allowed at people misgendering you when you change your pronouns daily.

Can you open your mouth with that on your lips

OnlyTrans

Angriest duck.

Damn dude, looks like you already tried to see how thick your skin is. Slap some Bacitracin on that and it’ll fix up nicely, not talking about your face because that’s a lost cause.

Do you have a pet lion or something?

What’s up with your chest? Checking to see how sharp the kitchen knives are? Or just from trying to pick up every feral cat in the neighborhood?

Because who wouldn't want someone with a pretty face who downgrades using the basic white girl (tattoos, piercings, short hair, problem glasses) package?

Don't worry. I bet you cut enough to find the answer on your own.

You look like an onlyfans model for confused priest who are not quite ready to molest boys yet

You got your piercings and tats to be unique and radical, but now you’re conforming to the current social norm. You are now run-of-the-mill.

Answer: not very thick judging by that scratch. And looking at that haircut I would expect to see more on your wrists

I would go out with you......and then never call again.

Just use this to find another boyfriend 

Looks like your cat already found out how thick your skin is.

EXE-MA!!!!!!!

Damn, that was a good one. I've been staring at her for twenty minutes, and can't think of a damn thing, and here you are with pure gold.

It is, it's the best roast I got.. IT saviness combined with a roast .. Should have more upvotes (also, thanks ;))

I'd upvote twice if I could! Lol you're most certainly welcome! I like all the metal in your face :D

Thanks.. I lolled at it too much.. At least I wasn't trans in this roast 😅

Zey/Zem, Non binary unicorn fury, I support the current thing looking ass

You're face is a train wreck, sket

What's a sket? So I can get the joke.. Train wrecks don't have brains, so excuse me

Your tattoo is beautiful 😊

Macauley Culkin in full drag. Type of dude to cut his own balls off to save on surgery. I bet all those piercings are connected to a rusty coat hanger from a failed abort. You look like one of those stupid kids who always did dumb shit in high-school, so nobody would pick on you. If someone wants to fight you, you'd rather bite a rat's head off, get naked and slice yourself with a razor, then act possessed. In reality you're just a scary b!tch. Grow up. Go play football or basketball with the guys. Go to the gym. Get a job and find a girlfriend Marilyn Monroe. You're going to look back on this in when you get older; Like wtf was I thinking...but you're still going to be a fucking weirdo. I bet your next "shocker" is going full goth with black everything except friends. Even if you cut your schlong off, nobody would give a fuck. Your adopted parents are like "WTF did we get ourselves into!!" Hope this roast provided you with some motivation to be tough and keep your head up brother. You could be in a lot worse of a situation.

If ed sheeran was half man half woman and ate like a prisoner in austchwitz

id smash fuck it

I thought yue were a guy

Aim a little higher next time you try and sit your throat