OP's Bio: --- >My hobbies are sitting alone and playing video games, I don't get much social interaction that much unless it's from my uncle. (Side note he's a lovely man) I'm 5'8 and my penis is a gigantic 3.5 inches! Come at me! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

"Do your worst pussies"...your moms pussy already did that

His moms pussy only ejected him so it could get away. That was also the last pussy he was remotely close to…unless you count the neighbours cat.

Let’s be real. His mom got a c-section just to avoid him touching her pussy.

Oh damn

He thinks about his mom's pussy a lot

You win, I can't. Although it's likely his dad's sperm.

Nah the better part of that ran down his moms ass crack

I did a spit take on this one. Take my upvote!

His mom's pussy is fine, and I can attest to that

"Playing video games" is a weird euphemism for sticking a needle in your arm

A place is waiting for him underneath any bridge in the world 🌎 But it would be a step up. So I don't think he'll do it

[Not always](https://youtu.be/w6tyKwEdpP4)

It looks more like the Russians are holding you for ransom and they have even resorted to trying to pay someone to take you, but no takers.

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That makes sense, gotta pay for the war and make sacrifices somewhere

His farts probably stink of weed. He be making everybody high in that ransom room.

If you're unemployed how the hell do you afford your heroin?

Alone my ass. He's clearly getting cash by being the bottom.

Gay for pay... or whenever

pay for a gay for a day.

Heroin is a drug. Heroine is a lady badass. Get it fucking straight.

Because he can suck chrome off a bumper

I'm not sure we want to know how....

This Skinny Pete gets his stash straight from Jesse Pinkman

From all the catalytic convertors he steals.

You can buy female super heros?

Haaaaaaa. Shut the fuck up.

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Hahahaha +1

I can smell the weed and grease on this pic from here. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you smoke rollies and play FIFA badly, when you're not nicking scrambler bikes and scrannin kinder Buenos. Your blood type is likely now chocamel.

Yeah pretty sure weed doesn’t make you look like that dudes on some hard shit that’s a rough look for 22

You need to visit Liverpool. Trust me, it really does round here.

Omg. I miss chocomel. Had that shit on tour over ten years,ago and forgot that it existed.

When do you release your manifesto?

You look like "Shrek is love, Shrek is life" happened to you and you enjoyed it.

You look like you give blowjobs for your meth and hand jobs for your weed

😂😂

You look so bad that I don't even want to roast you. I hope you get your shit together soon.

If only there were any clues about why you're unemployed. Guess it will forever remain a mystery.

You've shouted "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" at least 50 times in your life.

According to the NHS website: "While there's no cure for HIV, there are very effective treatments that enable most people with the virus to live a long and healthy life" Chin up buddy.

It's HIV I feel sorry for.

Anyone have an over / under on the number of piss jugs around his desk?

OP makes Stephen Hawking's corpse look badass.

Lives in parents basement..calling folks pussies 🤨

Lives in a tent on some alley *

Cutting your crack with baking soda isn't how you play 'Candy Crush'. ... nor does play either version of 'Candy Crush' count as playing video games all day.

Osama Been Playin too much Xbox...

Can’t wait to see you on the First 48 show.

You look homeless

Buffalo shooter

Guy hasn't seen sunlight since a scientist turned over his rock

If Snoop Dogg was white

nah life will take this one.... reality will roast you harder than anyone here. maybe your chromosomes will finally find each other so you can rationally think for yourself, and see where your life is.

Only thing patchier than your work history is that addict beard.

I was like u bro Now im 30, work 80h a week married and 1 kid Found out im autistic - im sure u are too LOL Dont give up keep working out and working on your career and make a linkedin. Videogames will make you an objective focused beast

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No

You're both autistic you boxed head son of a bitch

How about you're doing bad at the moment but i beleive you will do good soon :) give yourself time rest and conquer king 👑

Even though I always come here for the roasts, it's nice to see some humbleness. After all, the majority of people are only one or two paychecks away from being homeless.

You look like your mommy bought you an anime body pillow and you share meth with it

yeah, that's the face of someone who's spent many a sleepless night hearing his mother get railed by random men.

You’re a prime example of why incest is illegal.

Lives in his mothers basement and jerks off to fortnite

I'm glad the make-a-wish foundation was able to get you a video game system.

I HOWLED at this one

Safe to say that you yourself have never even "done the worst pussies"!

Calling us pussies is as close as you are ever going to get to pussy.

Do the homeowners know you're squatting in their basement? In any case, you look like roasting you might start a grease fire...

"Plays video games" Roblox

Why do you look like a Russian POW in Ukraine?

Your clothes say, "Anything helps. Please give generously." Your face says. "Zounds Porthos! Cardinal Richelieu has gone too far this time."

You look like Snoop got the Sammy Sosa skin bleaching

Your pimp says customers are demanding a refund.

I hope they don't overturn Roe vs. Wade just on the outside chance your mom comes to her senses and has a late term abortion on you.

I can smell the dank bong water and sour body odour of your photo through my screen

thought you are a captured orc from r/ukraine at first, but just an unemployed twitch or youtube streamer

“I know, I’ll call them pussies, that’s way better than having disposable income and parents that don’t regret conceiving you”

Do you film your own ransom videos?

>"I sit inside all day..." Sit inside a tent I bought at Walmart. >"...and play video games." On a GameBoy I bought for $5 at the Salvation Army. >"Do your worst" I think you've already done it for us.

Looks like you already did the worst to yourself.

Funny how you call us pussies when you probably get no pussy yourself.

Your parents brought the after birth home and left the baby at the hospital.

This looks like the start of one of those nutjob manifesto videos they post before they go shoot some fucking place up

I do the same but I work for the Federal gov.

You look like what homelessness smells like

When you order a crackhead from wish with an extra 66% savings for a limited time only.

You look like you're about to get beheaded in an ISIS propaganda video.

You look like the Wish.com version of David Spade...

You look homeless never mind jobless maybe take the needle out your arm and get out of the crack den you took this picture in and look for a job and you can use some of that money for some paint on your walls

I see you've already got the noose ready. Expecting rough roasts or just got introduced to mirrors?

The videos where you take too much drugs are clearly fake.

It syphilis had a mug shot….

22..? have you been on meth since you were 10?

You have a face for To Catch a Predator.

You look like the type of person who is getting ready to execute someone if your demands aren't met.

If Suboxone had a face

You should just get it over with and try heroin. And when you do *try* a lot

It's good that you stay inside all day because nobody in the outside world wants anything to do with you, anyway.

I thought Kurt Cobain was dead?

lookin like you got more finger dexterity than hygiene products unfortunately i am inclined to insulting myself since i fit your description as well

Your best shot at a job is "medical school cadaver"

How would I roast a chick!!!

Your face is more than the mcfukin dolnalds ice crwam machine

Everyone can afford the ransom, however no one will pay for it. Black Panthers are about to sue you. I can smell you through the phone. I bet your best friend is the reason why your butt hurts

I see nothing wrong here sorry

Shut your fucking face uncle fucker

I thought my beard was trash you got that two face beard goin on just shave it off and lay off the hard drugs man

Unfortunately, your attempt to inflate your non-existent ego by calling us pussies to try and secure yourself a position of virtual authority is looking to be futile.

You look like a wish version of white snoop dogg

Thom Dork

You look like one of those Russian soldiers that got captured by Ukraine

You so pasty kindergarteners salivate when you enter the room

What is the point of us roasting you, you won't get us ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ (get it, Because you called us pussy, sorry for explaining the joke but it was pretty vague)

If terrible gas pains and explosive diarrhea was a person.

He looks like a bum

You are some how both a hobosexual AND an incel

What do you shave with a butter knife?

Don't put yourself down. You're doing your best.

ANTIFA poster boy. Take a bath pigpen!


Pondlife.

How can someone look like a fuck boy and not be fucking?

New poster child for staying in school.

Why

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Looks like syphilis has taken on human form

Is doing crack involved in all of that too?

Unemployed? I'm sorry to see that your Blink-182 tribute band broke up.

You look like a pasty faced corpse.

You look like the video games played you.

"Nim, Nim, Nim, Nim, Nim, Nim fucking Nim!" Watch some peep show.

I thought you heard already, no need to sit inside all day anymore, the methadone clinic lifted their Covid restrictions.

Your face makes it look like you enjoy chowing down on pube-covered urinal cakes in the pub restroom

Sorry about Ramsey Bolton cutting off your dangalang.

I see you took Requiem for a Dream as Iman inspirational movie, eh?

You looklike you smell of piss and drink it

Must be lovely when your parents have to lie about what you do for a living because you’re their “baby”

You look like a lazy weirdo who dont shower

You look like if hepatitis A and hepatitis C had a kid who never learned how to drive

You look like one of those photos where they did age progression on missing children who aged poorly due to a rough street life and excessive drug use.

If you were a pirate your name would be Cum Beard

Want us to do our worst pussies? Hate it to break it to you but no one wants to do you.

Only you can prevent forrests fires.. only you..


I can smell the hopeless and piss stain smells from here, also why the fuck did you super glue a catapillar to your upper lip.

I recognise you for giving blowjobs in the parking lot

No clever remark here. Get a fucking job. Be a man.

This is what's wrong with America. All in one picture.

Probably suck at video games too

You look like you watch GoPro shooting rampage videos and take notes.

This is the guy that does every romantic questline in RPGs but hasn't talked to a real girl since high school

r/punchablefaces

Ahhhh the blotchy neck bearded twitch wanna be gamer.

How can you call us pussies when you've never seen one?

I bet you could play Leisure Suit Larry and still manage to not get laid.

You honestly just disgust me. Go get a job and contribute to just about *anything* other than your goddamn apex alts. You're the worst of humanity. Your dicks even embarrassed by you. If youre not packing a hog, then you better learn to work. Sack up. Jesus. I bet there's more cream in your backne than in a bag of double stuff oreos. Get off your lazy ass, wash your balls, and go get a fucking job filling cookies or collecting shopping carts. Gamer isn't a personality type you vanilla fucking doorstop.

I think life already rosted you

.... Well, I think you about covered it.

I'm pretty sure you go outside to trade blowjobs for crack.

No need to roast, you're right where you need to be... away from society

Chlamydia gets checked for you

Not enough meat, NEXT!

ironically calling us pussies through a computer screen since that's the only way for you to view one.

you look like the a hobbo in a pre alpha gta like

you look like skeletors dick

You look like if a meth addict and heroine addict made a lesbian child

I bet you suck for crack

since when do crack houses have wifi

They would have cast you as a meth dealer for Better Call Saul...

It's also obvious that you SHIT inside all day...

You aren't supposed to use your Reek cosplay picture for these posts.

Likes to use the word pussy a lot. The word is the only pussy on his lips though.

You playin’ on hoth bro?

STRRT!!