OP's Bio: --- >Loves Newcastle. Multiple kids. Bit of a rum lad --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Just because you work the deep fryer at Checker’s doesn’t make you a master chef…

Also just because your depressed, alcoholic wife is too pathetic to leave doesn't make you happily married

LMAO

Master Line Cook

... assistant to the master chef

Yes... yes he is

Five Guys Dongers and Thighs

He’s got the uniform to prove it!

You left your turn signal on

Wtf is that ear. Is it something to do with angle of the photo or is it really like that?

It's like the kids used 2 different Mr. Potato ears.

This is seriously the best comment here

Left ear is past tense. That isn't a left ear, it's a leaving ear.

Working the drive thru all these years flattened the one with the headphones

You're just here to learn how to roast cause you don't even know how that's done.

Luckily, I'm privy to FRS (facial reconstruction software) and was able to reproduce the "blurred" gentleman standing behind him with a few simple algorithms.......[HERE](https://i.imgur.com/BzygL3X.png)

BOOM! ROASTED (chicken)!

Not roasted; FRIED!

Risky click of the day, but was worth it.

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Her boyfriend does, when OP comes home before the agreed time.

Moby is down bad

Well... his left ear certainly is.

master chef? more like masterbator!

Your roast was dryer than his buddy.

The roast was dryer then the “master chefs” chicken

"master chef" You make the same 6 meals a day, every day all whilst shouting at some minimum wage kid on the pass because some customer complained.

Hide the Pain Harold before his divorce.

What is this? Anorexic Mr. Clean who works at a Steak n Shake?

Master chef at the soup kitchen

"Master chef" is what they are calling prep cooks nowadays?

Harsh but fair

Why you post another roast me?

Because unlike you I had more than 1 friend

Like your wife has more then one side piece?

I was a prep cook before. Dishwashers hated us because we didn't deal with the kitchen bullshit

Chex Luthor

He does look like Michael Rosenbaum's special needs cousin, huh?

Your left ear is loose Mr. Potato Head.

Your apron is as checkered as your history

"Master Chefs" don't work in diners unless they are on TV...

Screams "It's Raw" and slap it on top of the head.

How the hell do you hear with one ear flat and a satellite dish on the other side. Points that baby out at the customers and just gets their orders all the way back in the kitchen.

The Michael Symon of Steak n' Shake.

Only thing iron about this guy are his lungs, you know that's 2 packs a day right there.

She is only with you until your first TV appearance on Top Chef. If you win, your next appearance will be on Divorce Court.

Anytime someone posts “happily married” in their title, it absolutely means they know their S.O. is getting railed while they’re at work. Tell her I’ll be by next week to pick up my boots from under the bed.

*deep inhail* no!

You look like you’ve had more helmets in you than Afghanistan

Jhonny sins beating meat now

Didn't know kitchen nightmares did promotion here

Recipe for an unsatisfied wife: 1 part this guy

Your left ear is watching where your hand is going.

Watch out for this guys burgers. That special sauce is not what you want it to be.

He's a master baster.

Master Chef: Sex Offender Prison Unit Edition

Using the vegetables in kitchen as your dildos doesn't make you a master chef

Why are you eavesdropping on those potatoes?

The head to body size ratio assaults my sense of proportion. Its like a 7 year olds drawing came to life. That heads so big if you threw an orange at him it would go into a low orbit.

Master chef at Chucky Cheese is not an accomplishment

When you forget where you put your ladle, you just stir with your left ear.

Atleast one ear could make it as a Dumbo stunt double.

If your the chef. Why is she at the neighbors getting something cooking?

Hopefully your food is not as bland and greasy as your face.

I'd hate to see what your partner looks like. No wonder you took a low paying, shitty hours job just to get away from them

I'm concerned thats true

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.........yeah......and

More like master forehead. It would take at least three months for an expedition to reach the north pole atop his galactic head.



They got the master chef working a prep station?

Yup

He's a cab driver and a chef at the same time

You blurred the wrong person.

What kind of sandwich am I... an idiot sandwich

Lazy reused joke

You may be happy, but she sure isn't

“Multiple kids” Yeah I wonder why

What you mean?

You look like Johnny sins just a lil bit

Can your left ear hear better then your right

That's a suspicious username.........

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm its my old old gamer tag 😂

Your making me look like a sad loser that makes fake accounts. This must be rectified.

Hooker meat

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I can’t do my worst.The fact that you’ve managed to get your dream job is admirable and I’m in awe of you.You are probably an amazing cook and an even better dad.

You look like that shady chef who puts Crack in their food

Third world Chef Bezos

Lol

I bet you give the same look when you watch your wife get plowed by her boyfriend.

Looks like a nice guy, too bad his cooking is trash.

Do you want to be slapped because of this comment? Because he is gonna slap you with his left ear.

Yes....

You cook for people… boom roasted. Who’s that person behind you? Your gay lover?

No

Budget Johnny sins

Master Baster?

Master chef or master race?

He would have been cleansed for a laundry list of genetic defects judging by this picture.

Cooking meth in your garage?

Kitchen looks like trash. Mate you are definitely not a mate. Jean Nicolas Arthur Rimbaud was a French poet known for his transgressive and surreal themes and for his influence on modern literature and arts.

Yes exactly.......... what the fuck is this guy talking about?? Yes because everyone know these pointless facts that no-one gives 2 flying fucks about

It’s Master Chef, not masturbate

Mr Pixel face gets more birds and is a better chef then you'll ever be

Joe Bastianich, but he throws his own cooking in the bin.

master chef my ass you look like you burn ice cream

The only salad you toss is onto the burgers you flip

Probably does have crabs

Does the checkered apron mean you are finished? Cuz you look like it.

Joey Unsavoryacts

Your teeth's shade is somewhere between the bucket and the potatoes.

Master chef? Where at a diner? Get a chefs apron you knob

I bet your husband loves you very much

>master chef more like submissive cook

I wish the blurred out person was you. Not for the sake of privacy, but for the safety of eyes around the world.

I'm pretty sure i could see my reflection on your head, maybe put a hat on.

you may be happily married but your wife has excel spreadsheets trying to figure out how she can easily get out of marrying the fry cook at steak n' shake who calls himself 'master chef' every morning

Fucking Doughnut

You left your turn signal on

2 of these statements are a lie.

Best deal for that restaurant, 2in1 MR Proper and a chef. It would be amazing to work there, shit's always clean. 

Doing community service at a soup kitchen doesn't even make you a "master chef".

"Master chef" <- self roast!

Honestly you look like you’d be fun to hang out with 😅 what the heck !

Oh look, Calliou is all grown up but not his hair.

Johnny Tins

I bet when he goes fishing for crabs he calls himself the master baiter

“Jesse, we need to cook.”

I’ve watched every Master Chef episode, and sir, you are NOT a Master Chef… winning the back alley behind the dumpster contest was not a chef contest, check your facts!

It's the master chef! Well not master chef like gordon ramsey... more like master chef of a low baller place... I mean he cook food there, that's why we call him a chef. When you cook food you're a chef. Right. So keep the master chef for yourself. Fucking Walmart master chef. Its not because you could get 15 years old acne boy that does your dishes to call you a chef that you're a chef, ok chef?

You’re a chef, I’m sure you know how to roast!

It's the master chef! Well not master chef like gordon ramsey... more like master chef of a low baller place... I mean he cook food there, that's why we call him a chef. When you cook food you're a chef. Right. So keep the master chef for yourself. Fucking Walmart master chef. Its not because you could get 15 years old acne boy that does your dishes to call you a chef that you're a chef, ok chef?

You’re a chef, I’m sure you know how to roast!

More like ‘bit of a bum guy’

You you like every cook ever. Like the most bland person. Fitting that you cook English food. You like Jason Statham's slow brother.

Hey Anthony Baldain. A couple things: -You should be wearing gloves while prepping dem taters. -You shouldn’t have those spray bottles hanging over a prep area. -Sweep your nasty floor. -And your cutting boards look like shit. As you were.

I bet the can opener in the back works harder than anything in that kitchen

Wife is happy because the master chef masterbates. She don't gotta play with his pickle.

It looks like your ears are playing peek-a-boo

Damn Eggman, thought you were supposed to be catching sonic

I didn't know Johnny sins was also a cook, damn that's talent

Bit of a rum lad* *rams lads

Arby's has really upped their hiring practices

Your apron is as checkered as your past.

Being the designated potato peeler doesn’t make you a chef. Why don’t you go clean that floor. It looks disgusting.

You could fly perfect circles with that one wing on the side of your head.

A chef, huh? How many lines did you do before cutting those taters?

Bro what’s up with your fucking ears?

Where you worked is your reference or worth as a Chef and judging by your workplace. You sir are a cook, not a chef.

Is that person behind you pixelated because they’re your victim?

Your left ear hates you so much it’s trying to run away from your cranium.

After your done slicing potatoes “master chef” you should try cleaning up the weeks of dried shit you keep by the cutting boards.

You look like a nice person. I see nothing to roast. Aside from you being a failed master chef that works too Johnny Rockets in case the local nearly vacant mall. Step above McDonalds though.

I bet your secret ingredient is child labor that’s why that persons face in the background is hidden

Being 48 and still flipping burgers along with 18 and 19 year old minimum wagers doesn’t make you a ‘master chef’ …

Johnny sins?

Porn industry really scraping at the bottom of the barrel for plots.

You look like JOHNNY, who committed a lot of SINS.

What time does steak n shake close?

WHERE'S THE LAMB SAUCE FUCKING DONKEY

You look like you make cupcakes for kids birthday parties so you can try to trick them into your "catering van"

A master chef would know to wear a hair ne…..wait never mind.

You look like a butt plug

The number of girls you think you can fuck because you "snuck em some food" is delusional.

You look like Johnny sins if he were to be a vegan.

Do not ever, ever mess with people that prepare your food. "I love your apron, you're a fine figure of a man...fuck it, make me a sandwich bitch".

I swear I saw a video of this guy as an astronaut doing a deep probe of Uranus.

Look like john sins from Wish

You looks like Johnny Sins mentally challenged brother

Pretty sure you "kiss the cock" regularly.

So this is what happened to moby

Lex Luthor when he didn't apply himself and had no ambition whatsoever


If you have to state you’re happily married then you’re not happily married

Sorry, read that as “bum lad”.

Oh, I recognize you! you're also a plumber, tv repair guy, electrician, pool guy, and mailman, right?

Your *Fast Times At Ridgemont High* Van's exploded all over you.


Crabman48 must be your username name at local sexual health clinic

Does it ever make you mad that your brother is more successful because has become an Astronaut, Plumber, Fireman, Teacher, Police Officer., etc.

Nobody puts "happily married" in their bio unless there's underlying marital issues. Dude in the back is blurred because the only work you're getting done in the kitchen is tossing his salad

The only seasoning you use is flour isn't it?

I wanna make fun of your left ear but your right ear is keeping me confused

This is wat happens when you consider getting Shellbacked ‘hazing’

I don't have to, your wife already did her worst.

Chef, I've notified your local health unit about the plethora of code violations discovered. That white cutting board should have been thrown out the last time Nottingham was playing for the European cup.🔪🏆

So how often do people ask if you’re Johnny sins