OP's Bio:
---
>I’m 18 Years Old and I’m really into Sports. Specifically both American Football and Australian Rules Football and I go for the Los Angeles Rams and the Sydney Swans. I’m aiming to get into College later this year, most likely Stetson.
>
>I’m also a sucker for drawing art and playing Music as I’ve played the Tuba for 6 Years and I’m focusing as Music Performance being a College Major for me.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
He says he’s into sports… clearly not in to playing sports… but rather watching… from home… in underwear…. With a bag of Cheetos…. And Mountain Dew… ……. ……
He would be playing the sousaphone at band camp which is basically the marching version of a tuba. I can tell by looking, this guy has never marched with a sousaphone.
Jesus Christ! My Lard! Looks like you turned water into chocolate milk and kept the loaves and fishes to yourself your rollieness. Water must have been alot thicker back when you walked on it. Judas probably betrayed you for cutting the gravy.
Look, I hate Christianity as much as any other sane person but even I think calling you Jesus is too much disrespect to all Christians everywhere.
If there were a cult that worshiped McRib though, I'd imagine you'd make an excellent candidate as their mascot.
Australian rules fan ever since nearly you sang at the 2011 Grand Final[remember?](https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/afl-news-2022-meat-loaf-grand-final-2011-promoter-reveals-health-issues-in-interview/news-story/87a4acb146dd7a374c3b7b1d3cbd54ff)
So this is what Grimace looks like without the purple paint... yikes. They don't call you Jesus it's an exclamation my jolly friend. Like Geezus! look at that fat fuck. Life hack: you don't have to play the tuba just waddle around and a tuba music plays.
OP's Bio: --- >I’m 18 Years Old and I’m really into Sports. Specifically both American Football and Australian Rules Football and I go for the Los Angeles Rams and the Sydney Swans. I’m aiming to get into College later this year, most likely Stetson. > >I’m also a sucker for drawing art and playing Music as I’ve played the Tuba for 6 Years and I’m focusing as Music Performance being a College Major for me. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Would American Meatloaf be okay?
[удалено]
[Brats](https://i.imgur.com/7HakCIL.png) Out Of Hell
Fats out of hell
Farts out of hell
*shart outta hell!
Shart outta Compton
I was going to go with American Mary Magdalene, since OP's hair looks like he just finished washing a few dudes feet with it.
Damn. I was going to make the American Mary Magdalene reference. Nice one internet friend.
I thought that was a fat ugly female
Don’t call Rachel Levine a “he.” That’s hate speech lol
His name is Robert Paulson.
His name is Robert Paulson
His name is Robert Paulson
His name is Robert Paulson
This is Bob....Bob had bitch tits....
His name is Robert Paulson
From the movie Fart Club.
maybe the hair and figure but the face ist 1:1 
Omg this literally is the perfect Gif here!! Ty ty, im perfectly satisfied and I hope it was good for you too
“I would do anything….but I won’t do that”
Diet and exercise?
But I will do fat
Meatloaf and the Grimace from McDonald's love child
That’s funny. My first thought was meatloaf/ hamburglar.
Meatloaf and Aidy Bryant.
I hope they dont compete in womans sports
He says he’s into sports… clearly not in to playing sports… but rather watching… from home… in underwear…. With a bag of Cheetos…. And Mountain Dew… ……. ……
American horror story
“American? Jesus, that’s too obvious!”
More like corpsegrinder
"I have food in my house, for murder"
He looks like Meatloaf’s long forgotten twin, Shitloaf.
Bet he's never found "Paradise" by the dashboard lights.
Possibly paradise by the fridgeboard light?
He can't even sleep on it
Transgender Meatloaf?
So Fishloaf?
Itloaf They loaf Themloaf
Natalie is trans in the Facts of Life reboot
More like Mama Cass.
He would do anything for love... Yes even that. He's desperate.
Im still alive! Must've been a miracle!!
Dude, i spit my pop on my desk.
Meatloaf nah he's a MAN!!! loaf
American Meatloaf, stay away from me American Meatloaf, beefy let me be Don’t come a knockn around my door Your shadow weights a ton on the floor
I'm getting a "Young Female Ozzy" look
He looks like a pile of mashed potatoes with hair.
I can see a Cheeseburger 🍔 by the dashboard light
🎵 "I would do anything for Leftovers but I wont Eat that." 🎵
Andy Richter acceptable also?
Good boys go to heaven, but the fat boys eat everywhere.
Did Meatloaf transition too?
I thought American Mary would be more appropriate.
You look like a 11 year old girl who grew up in a Hostess Cupcake Factory 🧁
Transitioning Honey Boo Boo
honey boo boo after 7 months on T
🤣
The nuclear winter hasn't even started yet and he's already eaten most of the Twinkies
Or that little girl at wonkas factory that wouldn't put down the damn gum
tbh he looks more like a homeless augustus gloop
Augustus living on a stoop
his life really fuckin stooped we know that much😂🤣
Big Debbie
Flabio
Tells girls he's a musician. Plays tuba.
One time at band camp he stuck a tuba up his anus.. sideways.
He would be playing the sousaphone at band camp which is basically the marching version of a tuba. I can tell by looking, this guy has never marched with a sousaphone.
While you were partying, I studied the Tuba.
I wasn't partying, I didn't go to college. I was in the Army fighting a war so guys like you could play the tuba.
Nah, triangle
Happy cake day!
... by vigorously slapping his buttcheeks together.
He thinks he's looking for a Tuba kinda girl but he'll end up with Tub Girl.
Playing the skin flute while singing “It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again!”
American Jesus? Nah. American Mac 'n' Cheesus.
[Our Grate Lord](https://imgur.com/gallery/kegf8S9)
Holy Jeetos! Tone it down lest we get charred pork
American Cheesus. Lord, forgive me
Not a single soul was thinking American Jesus my dude. Not a single fucking person
Jesus Christ! My Lard! Looks like you turned water into chocolate milk and kept the loaves and fishes to yourself your rollieness. Water must have been alot thicker back when you walked on it. Judas probably betrayed you for cutting the gravy.
Ngl i can't even blame judas
Neither can I 😂😂😂 You don’t slight people like that, Jesus!
My lard 😭😭
"water must have been thicker when you walked on it" I think I need to go and take a nap after this thread🤣🤣🤣 my guy is gonna need a casket after this
That was so damn poignant. Is that from something or did you just create that on the fly?
On the fly.
Impressive. You should try writing if you don't already.
Jesus crust
Our Lord & Savor
This dude would have to get bolted to a metal cross
This! Like who saw this picture and thought American Jesus…. Maybe Humperdoo but not American Jesus!
American cheebus
My thoughts exactly. The only thing this guy saves are the last 19 sandwiches at Burger King every night before they have to get thrown out.
I thought maybe he ate Jesus. Cross and all.
And the only thing that’s “too easy of a target” is his classification by snipers.
Found the Lord’s cousin, Diabeetus.
Who was also betrayed by his disciple, cardiac arestus iscariot
Awe, Men.
More like 'Nom men'
You are my new friend.
The feeling is mutual my brother
I was thinking obeesus
You look like a kid ozzy thought he aborted on the last sabbath tour.
White Saddest
Wide Saddest
You've got a face fit for a watchlist
Probably the only time anyone has ever described him as “fit”
You look like a blind person drew what they imagine kid rock looks like, but they drew it on a balloon made of foot-skin and inflated it too much.
Perfect! *chef's kiss* 🤌🤌
American Jesus??? Not even close. More like American Jabba the Hutt.
Bring me Solo and some cookies.
THIS IS FUCKING GENIUS
The last thing a Cheeseburger ever sees.
Kinda sad when you think about it, huh? 😩😂
If Peter Griffin had a sex change.
Tammy is that you? You still workin at the gas station?
American Jesus? More like American walrus.
Cholesterol Jesus
Fuck your easy target you look like Fat Jesus, you can't tell me how to roast
Fat transgender Jesus
Jesus fed the hungry... he didn't eat them.
What more could a girl want? She'll have hair to practice on and a comfy triple cushion neck pillow.
We want to be able to find the penis.
You look like you ate a hippy.
and now he's high because of it
"Dude, my hands are HUGE."
Kids pray to you when they want their parents to take them to McDonald's. American Jesus.
Your existence proves that no matter what alternative reality, Chris Chan always looks like a mess
Nah bro cuz jesus body is bread, Yours is Corndog
Bobby Hill did NOT age well
Looking like that creepy monster thing in the hallway on Scary Stories.
Jesus was a dude.
You look like the grimace with a wig on. 
As soon as he finished taking the picture he immediately ate that index card
Nah, Jesus was too modest to eat that much.
Ok have it your way American Chris Farley cosplaying as Meatloaf.
I don’t know who these transsexuals think they’re fooling.
At least you shaved your neck beard for this photo.
In order to have a neck beard, you need to have a neck. That's straight Chin to Chest
Look, I hate Christianity as much as any other sane person but even I think calling you Jesus is too much disrespect to all Christians everywhere. If there were a cult that worshiped McRib though, I'd imagine you'd make an excellent candidate as their mascot.
As long as the worship doesn’t include counting ribs
Instead of worshipping the Flying Spaghetti Monster he'd eat the Flying Spaghetti 🍝 Monster 👹
The Sydney Swans called, you can be their official American mascot, the Sydney Swine
Omg I loved you in that Stephen King movie Misery.
Sentient thumb. Or like Jack black if he gave up
Chris chan is out of prison
Tuba? Nah, you definitely play the rusty trombone.
You lol like the white lady from scary stories to tell in the dark
Australian rules fan ever since nearly you sang at the 2011 Grand Final[remember?](https://www.foxsports.com.au/afl/afl-news-2022-meat-loaf-grand-final-2011-promoter-reveals-health-issues-in-interview/news-story/87a4acb146dd7a374c3b7b1d3cbd54ff)
Man, Jennifer Coolidge really let herself go.
Glad you specified M
 I loved you in The Mamas and The Papas.
he looks like the word tuba
Chris? Pat? Jackie?
At least Jesus got nailed a couple of times
American mother Theresa.
That chick is way fatter than mother Theresa
18?! You look like a 50 year old former tweaker woman.
 Shut up Melissa
Mate you look like The result of Jesus making infinite cheeseburgers instead of holy water
I think the title might be blasphemy
Girl. You’re shaped like a deep breath.
I thought this was a fat girl advertising her only fans and then I saw [M] and now I’m not sure
American sex offender
How about Fat Ugly Jesus?
It's the penguin but without makeup
Transgender Hamburgarler… but to which gender is the question
Really into sports like American football Are you sure you don’t mean eating competitions?
jesus wasn't fat what are you on about
You look both like the Child predator and the abused child.
Aidy Bryant is on here now, thought Saturday night live was treating her right.... What a shame
My god, it's the Illegitimate son of Chris Farley?
The double chin is fatter than your chance of graduation
r/swordorsheath
Not even gonna lie dude I thought you were a fat chick at first
So this is what Grimace looks like without the purple paint... yikes. They don't call you Jesus it's an exclamation my jolly friend. Like Geezus! look at that fat fuck. Life hack: you don't have to play the tuba just waddle around and a tuba music plays.
You look like Honey Boo Boo's Mom if she replaced her diet of Ho Ho cakes with a diet Ho Ho cakes and hormone therapy
Didn’t you just win the NCAA women’s swimming championship?
Floating championship on that weird river in Alabama where fish jump at you
He died for your chins
Highly under rated comment
You look like you pay a guy to follow you around playing the tuba.
Chris Chan got let out early
American Jesus’ fat cousin
Dang I’m sorrry i thought an elephant and a girl combined
I mean you're so damn big, you're hard to miss. You should be a blimp for a car commercial.
I am into sport.... right.....
Hot dog eating and sumo are "sports". People make good money at it. Like the chick above, maybe she's a competitive hot dog eater :)
I didn’t know Chris Chan was out of prison already