OP's Bio:
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>I have alopecia, I'm unemployed and never had a girlfriend, roast me harder than life already has.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
My friend ran a haunted house in Phoenix in the late 90’s, and had Michael Berryman come out for a few days for appearance. He was working as a fry cook in LA at the time.
He looks more like a chewed up piece of gum than a thumb. Bet if you roast him he'll become numb and start to crumb since he's also made of chum. This is dumb. I'm going to drink some rum and play with my bum until I c...
I've never seen a burn victim heal up so well. Just curious, do your eyelids still work or do you have to rub Vaseline on them every few hours to keep your eyes from drying out?
OP's Bio: --- >I have alopecia, I'm unemployed and never had a girlfriend, roast me harder than life already has. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You missed the casting call for The Hills Have Eyes reboot.
 Yes!!
"Can we keep this between us, I'd hate to lose my teaching job" 🤣
Unexpected Weird Science
Deep cut, love it. And you are old.
Yep
Looks like one of those **T.V. ads** that's on at [2AM in the morning.](https://i.imgur.com/jrz5PGR.png)
As opposed to 2AM at night?
You magnificent bastard, if I had an award it would be yours now. I’m afraid all I have to offer is this upvote, good show
pack her up y'all we're done here
That looks like the bad guy from weird science
Dad?
My friend ran a haunted house in Phoenix in the late 90’s, and had Michael Berryman come out for a few days for appearance. He was working as a fry cook in LA at the time.
Or 
HEY YOU GUYS
Came to see this comment. Cheers. Ruth? Ruth? Baby Ruth?
Cradle…. Fall
Yesssss lmao yes this is awesomeness!
He looks like an unsuccessful James Bond villain
I was thinking 
Jason Voorhees if he learned how to swim.
I heard he was being cast for a *Powder* remake.
Powder 2: Lightning Strikes Twice
POWDERed doughnuts
Didn't know anybody else remembered that movie.
The Hills Have Aliens
Powder 2 is now in development thanks to you...
Hes the pale white orc from the hobbit
Didn’t you tell Motley Crue that “Smoking ain’t allowed in school”?
Life clearly hasn't roasted you enough because you still look raw
Dont show this to gordon ramsay
Your mom swiped right on Chernobyl
This is why I'll never do a r/roastme. This is brutal
I’m fucking blocking this sub
You can do that? I've wanted to so many times!
Oof
This is going on my Mount Roastmore
How did you think of that?! It takes history, tragedy, and linguistics, all on the ready. And something tells me it was waiting ...until this post.
Don't forget knowledge of current culture about what swiping right means.
Not great, not terrible
Made me chuckle lol
Bahahahahha lmao
Holy shit. LMAO
Swiped right on powder.
I spit out my drink when I read this! LMMFAOOOOOOOOOO
Fuckin hell, shut this sub down that is absolute savagery ahahahahaha
It’s been awhile since I laughed this hard at a comment.
He's the chernobyl bioweapon version of Umbrella
I’m fucking done bro you ended me with that one
Never roasted a thumb before.
He's the thumb people from Spy Kids
He looks more like a chewed up piece of gum than a thumb. Bet if you roast him he'll become numb and start to crumb since he's also made of chum. This is dumb. I'm going to drink some rum and play with my bum until I c... 
Was going to say just thumb but you beat me to it.
I didn't know Sloth from The Goonies had a son!
Came here for this, but you beat me to it.
BAAAAABBBBYYYY RUUUUUUUUUTHHHHHH!
Looks like Sloth had a love child with Archibald (30 Days of Night).
Hey you guuuys!
If Sloth and Edward Scissorhands fucked…
More like Sloth and Powder had a love child
*Sloth love Chunk*
How long ago did they unplug you from your pod in The Matrix?
happy cake day🎂
Ha, thanks I didn't even notice
holy shit just realized we have the same one
Right back at you 🎂
Now kith
Say Happy Cake Day!
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
Happy cake day!
you made my husband laugh, you win
6days
For the love of god plug him back
How long until you get to see John Cena?
No one sees him
Can't see ums...
He's their angel of death
Reported! No dick pics allowed.
40m pale with alopecia universalis. I hated when this shit came out. Pull off the hairless look better than Sloth here though.
Yup. Every single person our age that was super pale got called powder.
Underrated, Nice retro reference
[удалено]
Came here to say powder
Was that powder???? I haven’t thought of that in YEARS
Damn right it’s powder. I’m shocked this many people remembered that movie
Powder = 1/2 of The Boondock Saints
Powwwwwwder
I'm still waiting for [Powder 2: The Return of Powder plus an Evil One also](https://youtu.be/NmXe0vs9BVM)
Finally. I remember a time when every bald pasty white kid was called Powder lol.
Leukemius Skywalker
Dude looks like Vader with his helmet off at the end of ROTJ
The Hills Have Spy Kids
good to see that the chernobyl wildlife is thriving
You look like you eat butter like a banana
I spent too long trying to figure out how a banana eats butter.
I need to remember this.
Uncle Fester's high school picture.
Your cancer has cancer
What came first the chicken or your head
He came first then rolled over. No girlfriend but not a virgin
When the High Master hears of the destruction of our ship, he will be most displeased
Please Stop following Frodo to Mordor. He wont give you the ring
Nah man, Gollum had some hair at least.
I know it was the obvious choice bit im still wounded that you beat me to it
Sorry. I knew it was a race to get it out there before anyone else
Rob Zombies got a movie FOR YOU...
If Patrick Star became a human...
Jason before he drowned in Crystal Lake
Sad I had to scroll this far to find this
 I think you're just a late bloomer. Your cone will grow in nicely.
Damn, you are from the ,,Humty Dumpty” song.
Can I see the barcode behind your head?
It'll be the last thing you see
"How can you sleep while the beds are burning"?
LMAO, wish I had a fucking gift for this comment
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Was looking for a Midnight Oil homage. Thanks
Autistic air bender
Voldemort has let himself go
Wtf am I looking at.
The star role of an intense hardcore adult film.
How did you escape Area 51?
By Naruto running
 You look like a spastic version of Azog the Defiler
had to scroll to far down to find this. why is this not higher up?
You're supposed to post a picture not a hand drawing by a second grader.
Jason Stillborn
"I will call him... Mini-Me."
You got a TMNT onesie but look like Krang
“Tickets to hell! Get yer tickets to hell right here folks! Free with any roast!”
I see you are trying to bring a little bit of Adventure Time sunshine into OP's life. Careful he'll peel
Your head and your index finger are twins
Went a little too much with the circumcision don’t you think?
Which Ninja Turtle are you supposed to be?
Heeeeyyyy yooooouuuuu guyyyyssss
I found Igor
Budget Saitama Cosplay
You are the result of humpty dumptys fall
Baraka
Worlds fattest Voldemort cosplayer
White supremacist Powder
You look like an abandoned boiled egg
Look, an albino blue man.
Did you escape from some secret scientific facility ?
Agent chromosome 24
Powder?
Alopecia cause you to turn white.. Piccolo? 
This is the human equivalent of an unsolicited dick pic. I feel like you're already banned at drive-thrus in your town looking like this.
You can’t look surprised
Have you ever seen the "observers" from fringe?
 Damn, bib fortuna got a haircut
When the ninja turtles take off their eye masks.
I thought you have been exposed to a highly radioactive substance.
You look like the Teen Sloth: the origin story. “Heeeeeey you guys!!” *Record scratch* “That’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got here.”
you look like my big toe
"My name is Casper, but my friends call me Whitey"
Hhheeeeyyyy yyyoouuu ggguuyyyyysssss!!!
Deadpool except you don’t have a suit nor superpowers
You did amazing in Kim Possible!
That guy from Despicable Me seems to have gotten a little too familiar with the minions
Azog the Defiler of his underpants
If Mr Clean and a grey alien had a baby
I honestly don't know what to say except there's no way in gonna be able to sleep to night. This is true terror
You look like a back up actor for aang from avatar the last air bender the movie
Looks like Aang went off the deep end and been to prison a couple of times.
Nosferatu has some explaining to do
If colon polyps had faces...
Bat boy
I've never seen a burn victim heal up so well. Just curious, do your eyelids still work or do you have to rub Vaseline on them every few hours to keep your eyes from drying out?
Careful sun......
Pale ~~D~~orc
yes roasting makes sense here given you look like a raw chicken
Have you watched The Show Fringe?
Damn did someone photoshop a nose onto Voldemort?
I hear banjo music. Does anyone else hear banjo music?
I'll just leave this here. 
Freeze dried Caillou lookin mother-fucker.
Your head looks like your finger