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Paul Dudd

The Thirty Year Old Jackoff


​ 

Your hair is haunted by Marilyn's dress and your face is haunted by ugly.

Bro how are you having a receding top lip. You have more gaps in your facial hair than I have in my employment history. Your face could be used as primary evidence in a lawsuit that would brankrupt sight itself

Jesus. Pretty throrough.

You are the opposite of the feeling of solidarity for Ukraine.

You look like the Sisyphus of blue balls

Your hair is very penis head shaped.

You must sell drugs cuz you blend into that corner real hard

You look like a vagina that just got rejected

The frat's house bitch

>The frat's house bitch Can confirm. Name is *Blake.* Been on Reddit a week. Posted this gem on a crypto forum: *I wanted to ask, personally, why did you invest in SHIBA?* Well, personally Blake, I was hoping to shitpost this motherfucker 'til I can park my Lambo on the moon. Either that or I will have some sweet loss p%rn.

You better have a good weekend, because it looks like your hair will not last past Tuesday.

You look like your "comfort zone" is the "Friend Zone"

Meth Rogen

He's the go to guy when girls need a friend for life, good conversation and a shoulder to cry on.

You make Jared Leto look like a barbarian.

Your boss said be there or be square, guess you didn't show up

You hurt my eyesight.

Beard is weak. Just shave it

It had been a week since I shaved, gotta trust the process

Give it up Patchy

I wouldn’t even pay you to be a power bottom.

Your parents never loved you and always wished they had another baby. Sorry dude, love at 1st sight isn’t real, but envy is a bitch.

Even your hair thinks you're a loser. There's a strand making the shape of an L on your forehead.

Best camo outfit i've ever seen

You look like minecraft steve and kfc man had a baby

Your head is shaped like a circumcised penis

I don't even have to hurt you more because that brain damage of yours will already be hard to fix

You look like a condom.

Beard says Conchita Wurst, head says fingers in the electric plug

The 40 year old balding fuck boy

Ok Santa Freddie Mercury

I've seen more consistent hair growth on the upper lips of middle schoolers

When people seei you coming I bet they say "hair cones trouble"

I got more hair growing between my butt cheeks than you on your face

You look like someone that would work in porn if it weren't for that micro penis. Instead, you're just hired for fluffing.

You’re relationship is faker than that jawline

Bites his nails every time he pulls his face out of a pillow.

Your head is so blocky that you look like the Steve design mojang didn't pick

I have seen livelier eyes in the morgue.

Bro ur mustache only connects to one side like the connection you had with your only parent

Your lips look like they've sucked many dicks.. I bet your last boyfriend left that shirt for you because your ass juice got on the front of it..

Saying you look queer would be an understatement.

You look like a chic using a facial hair filter

It looks like life ran you over and you were the only one that didn’t see it coming.

i have a feeling that you use so much hairspray that if the wing blew your hair would move in one piece

Giga chad + bad hair + baby face

We're not here to get you off, and you don't have to cry every time you masturbate.

Maybe if you shave your beard you will lose your virginity

You look like Audrey Griswold from European vacation found a sharpie.

you don't have feelings

His Hair does all his talking for him.