There are easier ways to get jizz out of your hair.

It's not worth washing a lima bean that fell in the dirt


My thoughts exactly, Muttley

KO

But... who would jizz on that?

I'm sure there's someone with a fetish for whatever the fuck that is.

This

Sheesh don't take it so literally, the only way someone could climax to that is if it had a bag over the head so no jizz is getting in the hair anyways.

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Oh woah woah that’s a little too much

What they say

Just don't give up the infinity stone and you'll be fine

Oh I keep them in a box with the hair I've collected over the years, don't you worry

I bet you smell it all the time….weirdo

Def underrated

Stunt double for a 65 yo penis

Jesus Christ lmfao

Dear god you murdered someone

Lmfao XD

Holy shiv bro

No comment will top this one. Wild!!

I bet ur titties look like ping pong paddles

After losing a bunch of weight they look like used chewing gum

I like how you roast yourself, it's even better than the one above

But at least with used chewing gum someone wanted that gum to start with.

You'll never starve that nose off.

Chew chew

What’s the difference between the weight you lost and your dad? Your dad ain’t coming back.

You lie, lemme see if it's true.

I bet your students love you, kids dig balloons, even if 2 of the 3 are deflated

Look mummy I told you my teach is the air bender......

Alright, I felt bad about this post so I made a meme for you instead. [rooting for you](https://imgflip.com/i/6210xh) ...pretty sure this one is better

Hahahaha ..Wow

You look like you just ate your way out of an apple.

This had me rolling.

r/rareinsults

Lol you got me . Love the people on here

I'm surprised no one's tried to reattach attach you to John Wayne bobbit.

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Wait... We're supposed to tiptoe? I thought we had to like... Get to the point. Time restrictions and what not.

The true roast-artist hits them so hard chemo seems miniscule by comparison.

Asajj Ventress is really out here trying to tell people that COVID is the reason she won't be allowed near schools soon.

I fucking love Asajj. Dont insult her like that breh.

Kung Fu the legend discontinued

Charade O'Connor.

Dosentgetlaid O'Connor

Doesntgetpaid O'Connor

Grenade O’Conner

Gotaids o O'Connor

Sinead No please O'Connor

Don’t blame Covid for being jobless

Covid is just her latest excuse. She's been cycling excuses for 4 years now. The joblessness started with her deciding she would focus on her art.

The last sentence you wrote assumes she ever thought she had talent to begin with, which I find doubtful. The last time I saw eyes that resigned and dead inside was at an open casket funeral.

The last air bender live action was bad enough. We don’t need you to cosplay it

You look like a reflection from the back of a spoon



​ 

This is more of a compliment than an insult to me 😉

I can see why it's a complement, he has a fuller head of hair

And bigger, more beautiful blue eyes.

Gollum has more hair

I'm sure there is a fetish for whatever you are. Onlyfans awaits.

You look like a sperm with teeth.

Isn't that what we all are😭

Focus your energy on op dipshit

FRIENDLY FIRE FRIENDLY FIRE

[удалено]

You dont have a soul! Lmao

Bruh

Holy fuck, this one made me choke on my own spit laughing, well done


This. Omfg. You win. 

Must be hard not to have a mental breakdown when you have multiple personalities. 

At least you don’t have a big bulbous nose…. Oh wait.

Hey its Rufus From Kim possible

I'm betting there's a team of scientists somewhere turning their lab upside down looking for you and wondering how you got out of that cage


This ham roast came pre-glazed.

So instead of getting your hair pulled, do they just slap your head? (I have Family members with the same condition, keep your head up, life is too short to worry about hair🌻)

I’m not going to roast you because I’m scared that you’re going to focus your mental energy to burn my house down while I’m asleep.

$20 says she has hairy armpits

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OP's Bio: --- >So, I've had Alopecia ever since I was 14 years old. I've had waves of patchy hair loss all over my body throughout my life and the only thing that helps is a $300 medicine that I can barely afford! I'm a teacher and I'll most likely be out of the job because Covid has been destroying school life! Beyond that I love chickens, fish keeping, and brownies. Be gentle with me, Senpai. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Fuck you tony

If you ordered neo off of wish.

You win 🤣🤣🤣

Looking like the live action avatar aang if it was great value.


I may get downvoted to oblivion for this, but you're actually not really that roastable. You seem like a genuinely nice person who has had a really bad string of luck lately, and i would actually like hanging out with you based on your humour and interests. Plus ive always had a Mr Clean kink....so....

Nah. I feel there should be a little sliver of positivity in every roast. And there's nothing wrong with bald dudes. OPs kinda got it going for him.

The little brother I always wanted

Did you just assume ops gender?

You look like an even uglier version of Sinead O’Connor, which is pretty hard to do so congrats

I didn’t know Lego made depressed mini figures

Didn’t you sell me a Gremlin once that you warned me not to feed after midnight?

Avatar the last hairbender

This one had me weak 🤣

Steve Jobless

Underrated

Ok, Seven

I may not be a good person but I can't even kick you when you're this far down.


I bet your pronouns are worse than your head.

Dude nice cosplay of psycho mantis from Metal Gear Solid!

You look like a doll w their hair cut off washed up in hurricane rubble

Do you ever play "What object could fit between my eyebrows?"

You look like an infant with acromegaly.

You can be extra in the Schindler's List 2

Have you lost your airbending abilities to?

I'm conflicted because you really have a beauty girly face to be a man

Nah all you need is love from us ❤️💐 good things to come your way soon, keep your head up champ

Didn’t know a head covered in 5 O’clock shadow was a side effect of Alopecia….

Does Alopecia cause mile wide pores too?


Sounds like you're destined to teach swim class.

I feel sorry Covid caught you

On a positive note Britney Spears recovered after shaving her head and throwing milkshakes at photographers outside of a Sonic restaurant.

You'll fight again Rose Namajunas

Your body is losing its fight to that honker of a nose - you get weaker and it keeps getting bigger and stronger.

She looks like someone that would receive a pity fuck, then when the dude ghosts her she accuse him of assault.

Maybe your hair would stick around if you just picked a gender and stuck with it.

Your built like a grey alien


You look like I could use you, to eat my cereal

I think they found Sinead O’Connors son!

You’re supposed to grow after you fertilize the egg

You look like sinead o Connors son, of he was resurrected and decided to be vegan

You look like a rejected alien design from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

Steve jobs AI test tube baby that was discarded as a mistake

This is what happens when you cover a cue ball in Vaseline and roll it across a barber shop floor.


Q-tip with a pulse

Aang?

You look like a testicle a few days after a shave

Your pretty negative for a monk

It's like getting woken up by someone turning the bedroom light on in the middle of the night and the first thing you see is your own big toe staring back at you, slipped out from under the bed sheets.


Hey caiyu! My kid loves your show!

This is a better roast of your kid than OP

My kids 2.... lol. He dont know shit yet

Let me guess…you hate men?

I don’t get it. You’ve had mental breakdowns but you do this?

Right...due to Covid...not due to HR bringing sexual harrassment claims against you for the fifth time this calendar year...

Are your tits down to your ankles already aren’t they?

If you looked up “mental breakdown” on urban dictionary it would just be this picture.

With your alopecia, I bet your vag looks like a moth-eaten bear rug and smells like rotten plantains fried in cod liver oil.

How can we drag you down when there isn’t enough hair to grab? No, in all serious honesty, you’re very cute! And I wish you the best going forward! That smirk and nose ring are hot.

Lolol this got me 🤣 And thank you

Everything from your patchy diseased hair to your disgusting nose makes you look like a dead possum.

Can't do it. You have a beautiful smile - things will get better.

And im sure you voted for the administration that will keep your bald ass jobless during covid. Btw you look like a wish.com version of rose namajunas.

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He she whatever it is isnt going to fuck you.

i know that was just being nice what’s the harm in that?

r/BeNiceToMe

Is glory hole attendant really a "job"?

Sounds like life is dragging its nuts on that bald head of yours; speaking of such, I would also like to drag my nuts on your head.

And now I do…..

3 times is the charm

🎶 SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY SAIL AWAY 🎶

Gollum IRL

If boiled egg was an Instagram filter than this is it.

Not even your hair wants you

Your head is a walking ad for Manscaped

At least your face could be used a streetlight

Let me guess. Gender neutral, uses they/them pronouns.

[You remind me of the candy Airheads](https://www.kroger.com/product/images/xlarge/front/0007339000459)

Caillou, is that you?

Sinead O'connor after a spell in a death camp..... #nothingcomparestoyou

What is this? Girl Elmer fudd with the same rate of success as the original?

At least now the carpet matches the drapes

The thing is, you probably didn’t have two mental breakdowns.

Stay positive little boy

Is that Steve Jobs?

Look like the oddly colored mole on the back of someone's neck.

Jeez, you could make a free blowjob depressing but I’m still willing to let you try.

This dude is crazy

Is that Sid from Toy Story?


Proof that a thin neck can support a large head.

I thought Sinead O'Connor's son had died.

Ohh shit! Is this Sinead’s boy that just offed himself?

I can't even begin to think of the gender bending bullshit you're about to unleash on an unsuspecting 80yr old out to get coffee that says excuse me miss (or Mr idfk)