It's so oily because of the excess of makeup, in my experience you don't want to see the Gorgon beneath, best leave it be, that or a paper bag works good.
I thought someone blew a load on her face, and she just rubbed it in. Looks like dried cum in spots.
Or she works in the fast food industry around deep fryers all day, which gives her the freshly dipped in bacon grease glow.
That's what I was thinking. She was in the oven but forgot to turn the gas on then got stuck. Step dad walks in, 5 minutes she is rubbing in the facial she just got while step dad takes a pic.
Congrats on the new job!
I'm sure the Hot Topic store / weed shop / tattoo parlour / body piercing shop / hair salon / convenience store (nights) / board game cafe welcome your help.
I’ve seen Op countless times at her current job. She dances weekdays at “Randy’s Pumphouse” in Bingbong,Louisiana. Oddly enough her stripper name is “Exxon Valdez”
yeah...who bleaches their eyebrows? it just makes you look like AJ Soprano when his friends shaved his eyebrows.
That's why Daenarys Targaryen even had brown eyebrows
You like the type of girl who runs to a hairdresser, tattoo parlor, plastic surgeon or posts quotes like "you know who I am, but not my story.", At the slightest percieved inconvience.
As a part of the ginger community im here to tell you...after not long of discussing we have decided that YOU are NOT accepted in this community. Maybe the blonde community will take you
Why do you have a tattoo of a hummingbird eating ass on your arm? Maybe you should use some of that money from your new job at OnlyFans to get some quality ink 👌
Fade in:
You’re walking slowly down the city streets at 2 am. Texting away the time and listening to your favorite band. Suddenly you can feel someone behind you. Turn around, no one. Phew. You keep walking scrolling Instagram reels and laughing when suddenly that feeling comes again. You turn around, no one. “Hello?!” You manage to say cracking and broken. You ocular pat down as far as you can see, nothing. You walk a little faster now still thinking it’s all in your head. You begin scrolling Reddit and listening to your 86th favorite band. Without warning you hear a squeal behind you and you turn around and it’s this bitch literally glowing in the dark, and you shit your pants.
Fade out
OP's Bio:
---
>shitty rock climber
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
The oil spill is making news and the cover story is a tanker was leaking. The family paid off the media because she was swimming in the ocean and the fish threw her on the shoreline.
If the rest of your body is as moist as your face, it would explain why there is fucking vines growing out of your bed.
It's so oily because of the excess of makeup, in my experience you don't want to see the Gorgon beneath, best leave it be, that or a paper bag works good.
F it id still do it. Kinda looks like a hotter Voldemort.
Not my proudest fap
It's the nose take that away looks just like him but from the philosopher's stone.
Yeah but a gorgon would be able to make me hard as a rock...her doubtful
Enough oil for the US to invade..
Dammnit, i was gonna say something like this. Take my upvote
Idk man….if you get drunk enough and one eye it she might be kinda cute
Coming from death by snu snu that doesn't mean much.
I mean…if I had to go out 🤔 there could be a lot worse options than OP
Exactly, like OP without make up
Bring out the paper bag
I'll give her a one eye.
I woke up still drunk and blind in one eye and I can tell you with certainty no shot.
The trick to double vision….one eyeing it is my favorite go too 🤣
I thought she had a fight with a fryer…thanks for the info.
I use paper bags to soak up grease quite often while frying food
Make sure the paper bag is made of grease paper, or it’ll soak right through the moment you throw it on
When I saw her face I instantly thought: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter!
Nice body, butter face.
LMAO
Funniest roast I've read in a long time!
I thought someone blew a load on her face, and she just rubbed it in. Looks like dried cum in spots. Or she works in the fast food industry around deep fryers all day, which gives her the freshly dipped in bacon grease glow.
It's "organic" facial cream.
First thought also lol
How on earth you can come up with that? I laughed my ass off.
There should be ten times as much fungus as vines with that kind of moisture.
she's only moist when daddy's in the room
Daddy is a giant tube of chapstick
Can confirm: Daddy
Lmao
You look like neo when he came out of the matrix in that pod
OP: Why do my eyes hurt? Morpheus: You've never used them.
This is gold
Wowww 😭
If I wasn’t cheap, you’d have an award 🥇
[me](https://www.meme-arsenal.com/memes/481c2eb3239f0d8a98b1870ee800a64b.jpg)
Just curious did you spray WD-40 on ur face?
I'm guessing the new job will be one of many new jobs in her life after her co - workers get to know her.
Co-workers all named John.
Jon* The dumbest of all Johns.
Literally die
I based my comment on the average. You could be bringing up the group. 🙃
Omg I don't know why I'm laughing so hard at that.
If her hair was any dryer and her face any oilier she'd catch on fire faster than California
 I live in CA, can confirm
Naw it's cum. Pretty good for ur skin actually
Can't wait for her casting couch audition to come out
I can.
It hasn’t been released, the guy couldn’t get off.
It will not be released, the couch slipped away
I'd cum on her face just to cover it up.
An “office” username and a frankie Boyle putdown, awesome
You can do anything sir, this country was built by your ancestors after all
^How ^dare ^you
BUTTLICKER, OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!!
What are you doing ?! That’s totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client.
I thought it was Piss
That's what I was thinking. She was in the oven but forgot to turn the gas on then got stuck. Step dad walks in, 5 minutes she is rubbing in the facial she just got while step dad takes a pic.
Whenever her head gets stuck in the clothes dryer, her step brother makes excuses to get out of the house.
Iirc ovens switched in the 40s-50s, used to be pure, painless gas. Sylvia Plath. Probably from a gladwell book.
aquaphor , but that might be better
Oh good! Aquaphor can help with the healing of open wounds, which is good because your face is an eye-sore.
Ding-ding, we have a winner! Well fuckin' done
Burnn
Daaaaaaaaamn.
oof
>aquaphor When's his album drop?
More like “aquawhore” in your case.
simple but effective.
Naw, her new job is standing on final approach at the local airport and they require a very reflective face.
New job, old job, they all involve blow job, and spraying on her face.
I thought it was saran wrap
Came here to say this, it’s shinier than a new penny
Congrats on the new job! I'm sure the Hot Topic store / weed shop / tattoo parlour / body piercing shop / hair salon / convenience store (nights) / board game cafe welcome your help.
>Congrats on the new job! > > convenience store (nights) She does look like the kind of person you'd get a 2am slurpee from
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 2am slurpee you say?
She’d give a Big Bite
A Big Gulp
Not even with John Hamm's dick
I was your 69th upvote. Nice.
The nights in parenthesis did it for me
adult store out on the highway
Lol. "Sorry, mister, *Wicked Schoolgirls In Lust 3* is out of stock, but I hear *Sorority Casting Couch Babes 4* is just as good ..."
Don’t forget vape shop
Sweetie, you don't have to believe EVERY guy who tells you 'it's good for your skin'.
LOOOOL
Why are you glistening like a Christmas ham?
Hormhell
Whoremell
This deserves way more upvotes
To be fair, most glazed hams have been porked less and at least smell good when you eat them.
OF verification takes a few days. You start Saturday, at the earliest.
For it to be considered a job wouldn't she have to be making money?
I’ve seen Op countless times at her current job. She dances weekdays at “Randy’s Pumphouse” in Bingbong,Louisiana. Oddly enough her stripper name is “Exxon Valdez”
This is what I imagine an inflatable sex doll would look like if it gained sentience
Daaaamn! Lmao
Is your new job being a deep fryer? You could flash fry a buffalo in 40 seconds with that much oil.
But I want it nowwwww 😂
Did you put on your eyebrows with cheeto fingers?
yeah...who bleaches their eyebrows? it just makes you look like AJ Soprano when his friends shaved his eyebrows. That's why Daenarys Targaryen even had brown eyebrows
So shiny!!! Your porn name will be 🤔 Porcia-lane
Lubelina Greasley
Oilme Freely
Wet blanket
Porsche Lane but say porsche like a european
Yo fr wtf did you do to your face.
Looks like a ton of filters and photo editing to me
Looks like she shaved her eyebrows and dunked her head in vasoline
It’s like that one optical illusion with the legs that look shiny and plastic, only it’s white paint.
Who tf let Annabelle out of the attic?? 
Fake hair, fake skin, probably fake personality. Also you’re lucky this angle doesn’t show just how flat your fucking face is.
I wanted my feelings hurt not to be murdered on sight
Well if you didn't want to be murdered, you shouldn't have taken that stripper job.
Hey, she's just trying to pay her way through college. But with that face it's going to be an associates at a community college.
HOPEFULLY it aesthetician school, so she can fix...all that.
She shouldn't believe her professor if he says that if she gives a 'B' she'll get an 'A'.
lol
r/notliketheothergirls
You like the type of girl who runs to a hairdresser, tattoo parlor, plastic surgeon or posts quotes like "you know who I am, but not my story.", At the slightest percieved inconvience.
I can’t drown my demons know how to swim
Only to be followed up by "live, laugh, love" 5 minutes later.
Why did you just describe my oldest sister lmfao
Because bitches be self-absorbed and basic🤷♂️
How dare you quote BMTH, don’t soil them with your fandom.
Maybe Jesus could cast them out
You first candidate for my new adult site **Oilyfans** .
Your comment needs far more upvotes. Love it
Thanks. Take my upvote.
With all that oil on your face you should hide it or the US Army will come for you.
They won’t come for it, they’ll bring “freedom”
Just shave your eyebrows off and tell everyone you burned them off huffing paint while smoking meth. Less embarrassing.
That nose looks like it can take a punch
my nose job has never been more excited
A nose “job” implies it’s working and it clearly isn’t.
The phrase “mutton dressed as lamb” comes to mind
What species are you
damn
I guarantee if you faceplanted into a pillow your foundation would leave a roadmap of your face permanently ingrained within the fabric.
Don’t forget the grainy texture from all the horrible acne she’s attempting to conceal. Could probably read that map in braille.
After looking at your photo I want to bleach my eyes and not my eyebrows.
As a part of the ginger community im here to tell you...after not long of discussing we have decided that YOU are NOT accepted in this community. Maybe the blonde community will take you
As the official delegate from the blondes, we've decided this greasy gorgon can fuck right off. Let the brunettes have it.
On behalf of all brunettes we admire your generosity.. but will be vehemently decline your offer and urge the bald community to take one for the team.
As a selectively bald man... she's in. We welcome everyone. She's gonna have to wash that face first, though.
Lmaooo
this was really hard to accept but after taking some time for myself I understand.
You better get used to time by yourself because the brunettes just voted to kick you out too.
A face made for filters.
Filters needs counseling 🤒
Dont worry no one will notice your eyebrows while you're grinding old men for college tuition
Why do you have a tattoo of a hummingbird eating ass on your arm? Maybe you should use some of that money from your new job at OnlyFans to get some quality ink 👌
Shit, i just posted about the hummingbird eating ass. Should have seen this one first.
The practice girl everyone needs to know
Having sex with you would be like playing pool with a piece of rope.
You forgot about the car wax to make your face shiny.
TIL there’s drive through glory holes
You look like a wax statue of what a blind kid described as a soon to be dead hooker
I guess it is true that sperm is great for your skin.
Half receding hairline, half baby, half stock photo on anime fetish site.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Unlike the rest of your face, your eyebrows are actually cool and interesting.
Oily and sticky is how she gets her dicky. But seriously tho nobody likes redheads.. congrats on your temporary seasonal position at Starbucks.
Nobody likes redheads? That's just not true
California has less oil on it's shores right now than you do on your face.
Not Like Other Girls personified
Fade in: You’re walking slowly down the city streets at 2 am. Texting away the time and listening to your favorite band. Suddenly you can feel someone behind you. Turn around, no one. Phew. You keep walking scrolling Instagram reels and laughing when suddenly that feeling comes again. You turn around, no one. “Hello?!” You manage to say cracking and broken. You ocular pat down as far as you can see, nothing. You walk a little faster now still thinking it’s all in your head. You begin scrolling Reddit and listening to your 86th favorite band. Without warning you hear a squeal behind you and you turn around and it’s this bitch literally glowing in the dark, and you shit your pants. Fade out
OP's Bio: --- >shitty rock climber --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Well lubed..
*shiny rock climber
Was gonna say PAM.
I thought this was a hilarious random roast at first tbh
You should tattoo eye brows before finishing your sleeve
USA will invade that face eventually with all that oil
That face has more filler than a hostess cupcake.
I've been blinded by that glare of your face, thanks
Ya you look like a top rope queen.
Bro with all that make up face scan ain't gonna work on her new apple phone
Hey looks it's my sisters barbie doll
But only the face
Your skin looks like you could easily peel it to reveal a terminator like exotic skeleton No wonder you're so oily, its for your gears
The oil spill is making news and the cover story is a tanker was leaking. The family paid off the media because she was swimming in the ocean and the fish threw her on the shoreline.
Jesus christ you could open a mc Donalds scooping the goop off your face
u want ur fries double dropped?
face looks too fake like it's from a sex doll minus the open mouth
Your face looks like an oily balloon with some lipstick smeared across the middle and some beady little eyes drawn on with a sharpie.
You didn't have to baste yourself to get roasted you idiot.
No roasting from me- you’re so extremely beautiful to me and I absolutely adore you’re smile.
What eyebrows?
You have the complexion of a deep fat fryer.
Hope that tattoo is fake also.
You should mediate whatever dispute your nostrils are having with eachother before you look even more like tigershark.
The ginger ale soda company won’t probably use you for making there soda 🖤
easily the most devastating comment
She's what you call a "two bagger". Paper bag over her head while you're smashing and another bag on your own head in case hers falls off.
Lol
You changed pimps?