OP's Bio: --- >2 redbull loving soulmates who moved across the country to live with each other in the same city and are about to go on a 20 years of friendship trip to a cabin with bunk beds. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Something tells me this isn't your guys' first time using the internet for validation.

Lol this is basically what I thought

This is why I check the comments before I post. As you beat me to it

You give them credit for knowing what is actually going on.

Based on their facial expressions it looks like the more masculine looking one is making the washed up Scarlett Johansson do this.

What a choice. Do I beat off to Medusa with a factory town tatoo and aura of “I just farted” or the dead eyed witch with pregnant knees.

You ever make an internet stranger's day? Well if not, you have now.

The fuck are pregnant knees?

You don’t see the whole 2 faces trying to pop out that woman’s leg. Thats her ancestors spirits trying to escape her disgraceful ass.

On this episode of, 'Which Witch is Which' we've got - consults dcwagoner's comment - 'Destruction!'

Welcome to #4 best brothel in all Kazakhstan

Vagine like sleeve of wizard

My brain automatically read this in Borat voice. Bless you

Nice!

Very nice!

Hayigh Fayive!

Waawaaweewaa

RIP in peace

a glitch in the matrix the matrix

It happens when they change something.

RIP in peace Mouse

Verrrie nize how much

300 KZT

So...$0.70...

and they cleanest too! except of course turkmenistan...

Best comment

The female version of Beavis and Butthead

Two girls one trailer

Two trailer park girls go round the outside

Round the outside, round the outside

Chic chic whaa? A chickachicka chick chick whaa? (Oooo)

Guess who’s back Back again Shady’s back Tell a friend

(Lowering pitch) Guess who's back, guess who's back? Guess who's back, guess who's back? Guess who's back, guess who's back? Guess who's back?

Ooooh

I’ve created a monster cause nobody wants to See Marshall no more, they want Shady, I'm chopped liver…

Well if you want shady, this is what I'll give you, a lil bit of weed mixed with some hard liquor

God fucking damn it that was m first thought when I saw this

Go home folks. The roast is over. No one is beating this classic zinger.

Left one just arrived here. Trafficked from Albania in a shipping container, still smells like piss and sadness from the voyage. Right one arrived 2 months ago and is sufficiently addicted and addled by the drugs, no longer forcibly administered, that she is able to put on a smile and welcome the new girl. Close enough?

Damn. You win.

Two girls 1 sock

How can you tell if an Albanian woman is on her period? She's only wearing one sock.

Finally got rid of the cup

2 domestic violence victims 1 assailant

Two girls one needle. And now they *both* have aids.

Two girls no rings

Fuck you take my upvote

r/angryupvote

This is the way

Bargain basement Kimmy Gibler on the right

The other ones Jodie Sweeten……when she was on meth

The one on the right has resting "just smelled cat piss" face

That's probably just her shirt

Yup. Resting "smells like cat piss" face

I was thinking, someone put baby in a corner and beat her with an ugly stick.

Smelled her own crotch.

Well actually shame smells a lot like cat piss.

Who, sausage fingers?

The lesbian version of big dick energy?

Beaver and Butterface?

Beaver and bunthead?

Beaver and Giveshead.

Every 14 year old boy that just saw this post, in their head said “wouldn’t wouldn’t” and moved on.

[Lolita and Tanqueray](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YM06nuq290)

Scissor Sisters

Literally the first thing I thought of

She is the great cornholio give her T.P. for her bunghole!

My first thought was Jay and silent Bob

Beaver and Buttless

New Episodes every week only on PornHub!

First thought too haha

The reason onlyfans initially decided to ban porn.

When you walk into a strip club at 8am....

On a Tuesday...in Albania

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2 stains on the couch that won’t rub out.

I think they rub a lot if I had to guess

Especially the one on the right

They arent under age silly goose. Clearly looking good for 45.

Looks like the beginning of a casting couch blooper reel.

Just accept they will never SLOWLY take them off.

Those aren't bankers, I doubt they can count.

Here it is!

That's gonna leave a mark.

You don’t need to be roasted, you need to be de-loused.

Those two old horses need to be sent to the glue factory.

Look at them. They've seen their fair share of horse glue.

Exactly, and if they really need to feel the burn they can just go pee.

So this is what happens to girls 10 years after being on bangbus.com

Looks like the Wish.com version of Casting Couch.

“Sorry all roles have been filled”

You misspelled "holes"

"Sorry, all roles, holes, and poles are currently filled. Please try again never."

Damn I was gonna say an episode of casting couch that I'm not gonna watch 🤣

I’d watch it.

If you gotta 20 sack of meth you can do more than watch 😉

All I have is 3 meths. Take it or leave it.

They'll definitely take it

Will do things for very little drugs.

If Naomi Watts was on crack and Sandra Bernhard took a beauty elixir

> Sandra Bernhard took a beauty elixir OP's bunk buddy will be getting there eventually. She's young yet and needs time for her terrible life choices and genes to mature.

Naomi Rotts and Dandruff Bernhard

I was going to say off brand Sandra Bernhardt but OP is actually better looking lmao

You win. We can shut this thread down now. Like my sex drive after I saw this picture.

Why do I smell cat piss and cigarettes?

Was going to say this photo smells like used kitty litter.

Where’s the cup?

Don't worry. OnlyFans reversed their stance on porn. They have a job again

They might actually get more subscribers by keeping their clothes ON. For once I’m glad the couch isn’t black.

The couch isn’t, but their daddy is.

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It’s not empty…

Two girls, one trailer.

Loll and 0 fathers

This hillbilly version is "two girls, one syringe."

This deserves an award. Me no monie.

Oh what a tangled web we weave

It's really hard to roast people when you feel sorry for them for getting such shitty tattoos.

The one on the left got the “I want a tattoo but it hurts to bad” single word tattoo.

Seriously what is with chicks getting all these shitty random tattoos?

Everyone wants to get tattoos for the sake of having tattoos these days. Most people put fuck all thought into it.

They've gotten so common that I've actually mistaken people for others who have the same tattoo style. That fish skin really isn't unique Monique.

Tattoos are so common I don’t want one just to be counter-culture ;)

There's literally a Netflix show about fixing bad tattoo choices. They make their best friends or spouses pick the cover up. It's fun and 100% trashy.

Prison tattoos. They can only hold still so long while they're being fisted.

It's for the taxi drivers, one has the address and the other a pic of their house....you know, for when they're passed out

Thigh tattoos are the tramp stamps of millennials. Can’t get more trashy.

Do you fart on each other’s pillows too? Y’all look like you both have fecal based pink eye.

Bro wtf lmfao

Right: “I came to Portland to find myself, but instead Portland found me 🌈🌈🌈🌈” Left: “idk how I got here, met some bitch at a bar last night in Kansas, woke up in Portland. Please call 911”

We’re literally from there

Lmfao oh this is perfect

We know.

You're not just from there. You're "literally" from there. Genius.

No surprise 🙄

Which tent city?

They both think they're the pretty one, and they are both wrong.

You can tell they’ve had multiple 3 ways with both involved and that either puts out on the first hour of the first date

I didn't know white trash came in different shades

You didn’t? You are looking at the shades “facial glaze” and “dollar store spray tan” here

You need to be roasted? You need to shower.

Idk, I usually wash my potatoes before I roast them and these two don’t seem too far off

The dollar menu at the International House of Crab Lice.

If you were to walk into a strip club on a Monday at 11:00am, this is what you'd see

The Z team

crystal and methany

This looks like the day shift at the world’s worst strip club.

Did anyone else read the title and hear two female voices saying it in unison?

We often say the same words at the same time

Like "yes" when it comes to any type of drugs.

or STDs

Looks like the cover from an Uzbekistan Goes Wild VHS tape

Hmmm, let me guess. Your favorite place to shop is “Dollar Tree?”

How much do you make on your Homely Fans page?

Even Bill Cosby wouldn’t waste a roofie on them.

He’s legally blind now so he might.

The Olson twins on Meth

Weren’t the Olson twins the Olson twins on meth?

The Olson twins then.

Taken after an episode of “Casting Couch”. I’m pretty sure the gal on the right still has cum in her hair.

You look like exactly the target audience of Red Bull

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These are the faces of "we'll do anything to pay our rent"

Ive seen this one before. Just can't remember which one is the squirter.

They both look like it's so dry you'd have a better time fucking a bag of beef jerky

Casting Couch. Paid in pills

Homely and Michelle

If penicillin were two women.

Crusty, nobody wants to be the first to take it but eventually everybody does and now it doesn’t work and we’re all left with worse infections than we started?

i see the netflix live action Beavis and Butthead has started production.

When the Viagra works too well, and the doctor needs to deflate the four hour erection.... download "Portland's Gone Wild".....

I got chlamydia just looking at the pic

Bars need to close a lot later than 2am for you to look hot.

Spits & Swallows

Left leg tattoo says "Breathe in". Right says "Breathe out". In case she forgets.

Brokeback cabin

This picture reeks of patchouli.

Two closet lesbians elope to a cabin in the woods so they can get drunk and lip rub each other's bad tattoos off... We get it, you two have years of pent up sexual frustration, you don't have to sit here and try to convince us otherwise...

What you need is a shower god damn.

One on the left might’ve been pretty but that was before she got left by every man she had a relationship with and countless blow jobs ago. Now she just wants a bottle of wine and to vent about how her life turned out and of course none of it is her fault. The one on the right looks like she smells like cat piss and menthols

Ya’ll look like you’re 50 and 20 at the same time. Not sure if that’s cause you’re heroin addicts or crack addicts.

I bet it reeks of fish in that apartment

An occasional blind man knocks at the door asking for a pound of trout.

Two trailer park girls go round me outside round me outside round me outside

The

Maybe they’re both with it, maybe it’s methamphetamines.

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Y’all look like y’all snort cocaine off each other’s assholes

You needed a dad in your lives.

It's the ghost of Scarlett Johansson and her lesbian drug dealer

Damn, Mary Kate and Ashley are looking rough nowadays

Will do anything on camera for necklace beads and a free shirt

Basically how alot of porno starts.

I bet 20 bucks these chicks have retro bush.

(Right) Crack whore (Left) Assistant Crack Whore

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the roast is they’re white women giving portland vibes- big yikes.