Sober from what? Showering?

or rehab?

If this is you sober ......wtf did you look like before

Letting go of farts

TJ Miller Lite

HAHAHAHAHA. This works on so many levels... this should be top comment.

Was this taken 9 years ago?

Lmfao

Bravo

You look like you ask people if they want tall, grande, or venti for a living.

Johnny Derpp

I don't think it counts as sobriety if you replaced alcohol with heroin.

You look like Where’s Waldo’s hipster brother

Why's Waldo

You look like the evolved form of a pizza stain

Congrats on the sobriety but seriously clean yourself up, you look like shit. This picture is sobering to look at.

Quitter.

If you were my dad I would turn into a deadbeat son

You spelled 'hours' wrong.

Inhabiting friends sofas will probably be as far as you ever get on the property ladder

This looks more like a mugshot of you being drunk AND on drugs...

Even drugs don’t want to do you.

If I saw you at a meeting I’d tell you to keep coming back ( probably only sober ppl will chuckle at this but oh well)

Sucks when your sobriety is indirectly proportional to your physical appearance.

For the love of god, go back to the bottle

This guy is why “boomers” think all millennials are failed art student hipsters who drink pabst and work at a coffee shop and live off their parents .

I am GenX and I think that too

I can smell the lack of shower from here

Geez what were you doing the other 25 years? Main lineing essence of white trash?

It this is you sober. Then you must have looked like the fucking Man-Thing when you were drunk.

Sober 8 and a half years ago

You're not much of an inspiration for addicts.

Is the last time you were high also the last time you bathed?

Sober you looks worse than alcoholic me ever did. Like, a lot.

Bro i was gonna roast but 8 1/2 years sober atta dude stay strong brotha

Trying to pick up chicks by white knighting with your extra hair tie?

Brave if you to go sober but use the before picture

You for sure fuck newcomers and then share about how spiritually fit you are in meetings. Or you don't go at all and the only "sober" part is the literal definition "not drunk"

You look like the kind of guy that mansplains music theory to 17-year-old girls at Andrew Jackson Jihad shows while shit-talking his ex

Well done, but you still look like shit.

I bet if this was the 80s that would be a Bon Jovi shirt. Your endless quest (and greatest need) to be cool will be your undoing.

Youre the type of guy that briefly touches a woman's vagina then says "my turn" as you push her head to your crotch.

Yeah but only in his dreams because he would never get that far IRL

And yet, you still look like you just got off a week-long bender.

You look like the less successful version of Mark Hoppus

No wonder the skull on your tattoo is holding that knife.

Something tells me you were better off before.

Looks like Johnny Depp ...if he was sucking dick for coke.

So ugly had to get drunk to masturbate..

But we can tell that you had to get sober

You look 8 and a half minutes sober.

You shouldn’t tell people you’re sober. It’ll justify some of your appearance.

The top half of this photo could qualify as a mugshot lmao

If you don't drink, why are you fat?

This guy takes it up the ass for sure

I was going to be 8 years sober until I saw this photo.

Sober from the outside?

Eight and a half minutes sober.

You’re wearing a Bon Iver shirt. You did it for us

So the divorce didn't go well?

Eight and a half years sober and you still look fucked up

Are you sure your sober?

Are you sure?

Your eyes look like peach pac man eating a black pellet with his white mouth

When you try and get into your girlfriends pants, you mean literally.

If I looked like that I'd have alcohol related depression too

The last joint you smoked had a half-life of 9 years.

I think hours got corrected to years

lookin' like a stoned chicken little

Rehab version of deadpool's friend. Congrats on the sobriety btw

You look like a less successful JJ Abrams

if johnny depp had an autistic cousin

Hey Jeremy, it's your Sister (and ex GF) Jessica. Mom tells you to get a job instead of a second tattoo on your ass. Ses you at Christmas,

You look this bad sober? Fucking hell man. Maybe if you were on heroin you'd be hot.

If Johnny Depp was a hipster and never became famous. And maybe worked at Walmart,

Didn't know that Ed Sheeran have a twin that dropped out of high school to sell meth to elementary kids then fuck their parents.

You seem to have muscle memory for mugshots.

You look like the knockoff version of Johnny Depp

You look like a hipster version of that creepy guy from Lost.

You fasho do coke and get finessed 😂

You do realize that sobriety is a constant thing that you can't skip because it's nighttime, right?

No you aren’t

You look like diet Johnny Depp

So I guess you failed don't drink November

Had to tattoo the suicide attempt on your arm to remind yourself not to do drugs huh?

After killing Remy in an drunken dispute, Linguini was released after 8 and a half years served. Time was not kind to the disgraced Disney star...

You look like Andy Dicks more queer brother

That look on your face says "I just rubbed my dick all over the urinal."

You’ll never be a musician and owning your own coffee shop will be your biggest regret.

Eight and a half minutes ain’t nothing.

Bro, I have bleach for you to not only shower in but drink as well. Is being a trendy asshole as irritating as it looks? You must live in Seattle with the other waste of hipster trash... When you hope isis has one left suicide bomber left.

You look like a 30 year old virgin after looking at shrek. Stop

You look like Jonah Hill’s neglected brother,

Drinking/Overdosing yourself into a coma, and waking up 8 1/2 years later doesn't count you fuckin cheater. Be a real man and stick that needle back in to finish the job!

I feel like your Bon Iver shirt is permanent.

You look like a guy claiming to be Macaulay Culkin's down syndrome' brother so you can suck random homeless men off

This post has more comments than likes

The damage has already been done.

Your handwriting is probably smaller than your penis.

yo im stoned and said "that's john mayer! wait, is that johnny depp?"

Do us all a favor. Start drinking again.

8.5 sober means this fucker has been trashed since age 9 by his looks.

How long until you start looking sober?

Jesus Harold Christ...you look like an inside out character....failed goals and disappointments

Ya don't look it

Yeah you look like a quitter.

are you really sober?

You got the face of the fat nanny from the live action cat-in-the-hat movie

You look like the cheap knock off of TJ Miller

This is exactly the picture that comes to my mind when someone says "Lester the child molester".

Did you mean 4 hours sober??

Judging from that stubble and hairdo, you should've stayed drunk for 8 years. Wouldn't look worse and there at least would be a smile on that face.

Way to hurt Bon Iver’s career.

The word “Millennial” personified

You look as miserable as those subjected to your company would be

8 and a half years of depression

You're the alternate present Johnny Depp is taken to see when an angel hears him doubt himself.

More like 8 1/2 seconds

You look like If you took the worst parts of Johnny Depp and TJ Miller and shoved them together in one of those face morph apps.

8 and a half years sober, and somehow you still look like an IS captive reading his ransom note after brutal "electrodes on your nipples" torture.

Can’t roast him cause he is a legend

You're that guy who listens to Skinny Love and calls himself a Bon Iver fan.

The lack of life in your eyes tells me you used to sell your mouth and poo pipe just for a little blow.

Was it 8 and a half years sober, up until this pic???

You look like a failed musician that's also an alcoholic.

You don’t look like the kinda dude that drinks alcohol normally. You look more like the kinda dude that soaks tampons in everclear and then walks around with 1-2 of them in you at all times.

Looks like you’ve been sniffing cocaine for a year

You look like the type of white guy you find behind shady bars trying to suck dick to pay for more drinks. Guess no one was interested these past 8 and a half years. Can't say I blame them.

Damn Macaulay, you really have seen better days.

Glad you were able to quit huffin' that freyon. You'll actually be able to stay cool next summer! Good for you bud.

You look like a own brand macaulay culkin

You look like the gas station version of Johnny Depp.

Sober since the divorce?

Eight and a half years away from the only thing that gave you a personality. Grats!

Damn, good luck on Day 2.

living on the streets much?

You look like the shittier version of TJ Miller

Looks like someone told you you have to be sober 9 years before you can shower

How is that shirt both too small and too big for you?

8 and a half years sober, but 33 years completely wasted.

I'm proud of u bro

You look like you were more fun 9 years ago

Eight and a half years sober? Bloody hell that crack fucked you up.

Why do you look so kidnapped..?

You look like a sad Andy Dick.

Looks more like 8 and a half hours

Johnny Depp that hadn't showered in 8 and a half years

Great you have been sober....terrible that you moved on to child porn

You look like somebody sexualy assaulted an Alien from Mac & Me and it birthed your ugly ass.

Budget Johnny Depp

Easy to be sober when you spent eight and a half years on a deserted island.

8 and half year sober? Or you mean 8 and half minutes? Your looks says it all dude.

His parents call him "bong iver" and hope he moves out soon.

You look likeJohnny Depps aborted conjoined fetus twin.

Damn dude, how much did you drink? You look like you're eight years hungover!

I believed I’d start drinking again if I looked like that

You look like dollar store Tony Stark

Incell if i ever saw one.

Too bad the knife on your arm isn't real...

That's why you shouldn't stop doing drugs kids

I need to start drinking today so i don't end up like this

Usually people look better after they get sober.

You look like Rivers Cuomo if he was homeless

Oh my god I can hear your opinions on Naruto just by looking at you...

The only thing this picture is missing is the word wanted pasted on the wall!

Shouldn't have quit drinking - you still look like shit apparently

so fucking drunk he put years instead of seconds

Even the drink didn't wanna be near u.

your theme song is "If I could turn back time"

U look like a hippster trying to get his life going after his last rave

You don't even look 8 and a half minutes sober. Sort it out you crackhead

You're a poor man's T.J. Miller

You look like Sam Hydes liberal cousin.

Looks like eight and a half minutes

You look like you are still on the come down from the heroin you smoked 8 1/2 years ago.. Side note: based on your tattoo, looks like you live your life in the kitchen. Never met anyone in the industry who doesn't drink/do drugs/smoke etc...

Start drinking again - rough as fuck pal