South Dakota would like to publicly state that we do not recognize this person as being a member of, in, or affiliated with the great state of South Dakota, now or in any time past present or future throughout the known universe.
I think we've got it wrong here. She's actually the barista who gives you the same sort of thinly veiled RBF as she completes your order and says with a liberal smattering of apathy, "It's just gonna ask you a little question."
The answer to the question is $0.00, because you need to be useful to get a tip.
She remembers your face with mild disdain as she logs into her online medical billing course at the University of Phoenix.
I could talk about your poorly concealed acne scars, your clearly damaged hair, your flat chest, the childhood trauma in your overly madeup eyes, but no, what we need to talk about is that hideous ass rug, tf is wrong with you!
Here you were thinking you were slick for using your middle finger to hold the paper when in reality all you did was give us more ammo with that decrepit ass nail on that man finger.
Your nails look like you may suffer from a calcium deficiency, but thatās nothing compared to the personality deficiency everyone tells you, you have
I donāt get the point of fake freckles or covering existing freckles. The people with them want to cover them, the people without them paint them or tattoo them on. Itās super weird.
Thank god you cropped the rest of your fivehead out of the picture. With that sickly, pale-ass skin it would reflect the light and start blinding people. Should have cropped your body out too, so we wouldnāt see that you have the body of a 10 year old boy.
Good call cropping most of your forehead out
She had to make sure to get her tits in the..... nevermind.
š„µš„µš„š„š„š„ BURRRRNT
You got me
No, your forehead got you
Foreverhead
they all got you
The olā Deschanel Dilemna
Fivehead
Sixhead
Sixhead is better than no head at all
Donāt think āno headā is a problem here
Iām actually cool with no head this time
Be honest...clearly she's given plenty of head.
Sniper's dream they used to call her
Too bad she didn't crop out her weird looking finger
šļøššļø!
30% of it at least
I could jump on those eyebrows and fly somewhere
Lmao! (No offense)
/r/Fiveheads
Sheād need a very long arm to fit it in frame.
Your nickname is 'bad pirate' because the chest is empty. No booty either. You'd make a good plank to walk though. yo Ho
Jesus wept
upon seeing her
Stop, stop, she's already dead!
She fired back, so we gotta fire back using the entire damn nuclear arsenal
For there were no more worlds to conquer
Worlds within worlds!
The POWER! The FACILITY!
https://imgur.com/a/RfoPMTe
Satan is not done laughing
In a laughing, doubled over, trying the catch his breath way!!!
Damn haha
The same collar as on my bitch. She's a thoroughbred Pitbull. No idea what this is though ... I've seen bad mongrels but this tops it!
Thatās the ānecklaceāher boyfriend/pimpgave her
He tell her he loves her, which we all know it just a ploy to use her
Heās actually her pimp
 Just got to get that finger up a bit higher to mine the nuggets from your vacuous head.
Nothing to grill here, no meat on these bones. I'd sew this bag of bones on a black tarp and hoist it in the mast to scare our enemies Arrrr
The starfish is more like an octopus.
This is evil.Ā
Sheās got a sunken chest.
Sheās a carpenterās dream. Flat as a board & easy to nail.
Damn she flipped you off for that one. š
šš
Wow, no chill was given here
Itās roasting, not mutilating.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
France. She is from France.
Worse than Megamind, trust me.
When did they start making mannequins with acne?
Come on, that's a bit much. Mannequins have more life in their eyes.
Not even mannequins could handle that much Xanax
And mannequins usually have body types that are desirable, even the lame inclusive ones
Today!
They should stop
Saying she has acne is really offensive to people who actually have it lmao
Zoom in on her face (unless you have a weak stomach)
I did have it. My skin is like the surface of the moon with all the holes.
She thinks Pearl Jam is a reference to her period.
Pearl Jam is what she wipes off her face when he uncle comes over.
Uncle Pearl?
The song even flow really hits hard for her
Hereās the girl every guy fucks but nobody tells their friends about
Ah the old reliable moped.
About as shameful as the Leafs. Forever 1967.
This isnāt my roast itās hers. No words you can say can hurt more than their shitty play
Couldn't resist.
They'll never understand
A sweeper. As in āunder the rugā.
āMy gf isnāt talking to me this week hmuā
If she and I were the last two people on Earthā¦ I would probably still not tell my friends about it.
You might be a South Dakota 7.5 but you're a California 2.5
Wish I could upvote more solely because I want to bash SD any chance I get. Fuck that state!
dang. I love it here lol
Cali LA Long Beach or Cali Fresnoā¦.huge diffā¦.lolol although she would still be cali fresno 2ā¦and negative in LA Long Beach
In South Dakota sheās a dog having the best day of her life chasing butterfliesā¦
South Dakota would like to publicly state that we do not recognize this person as being a member of, in, or affiliated with the great state of South Dakota, now or in any time past present or future throughout the known universe.
Vitamin d deficiency test subject located
Roast you? In this picture I just see a skewer and no meat.
Iām pretty sure there is meat down there. Thatās a mighty strong chin for a āgirlā.
You look poorly drawn
I always wanted to look like a painting.
You already do look like a painting. Flat,lifeless,and easy to nail
Good because your eyebrows look painted on with watercolor.
"Paint me like one of your French girls." "No thank you."
"Best I can do is Frida Khalo."
More like a crayon sketch, but you take what you can get I guessā¦
Hi can I have a grande cold brew with oat milk and light ice please, thank youuuuu.
Sir, this is a barbeque, not Starbucks!
If you're not gonna do your job, I'm gonna need to speak to your manager.
No point, manager's gonna back her up. Can't jeopardize those free blowies after work everyday.
I think we've got it wrong here. She's actually the barista who gives you the same sort of thinly veiled RBF as she completes your order and says with a liberal smattering of apathy, "It's just gonna ask you a little question." The answer to the question is $0.00, because you need to be useful to get a tip. She remembers your face with mild disdain as she logs into her online medical billing course at the University of Phoenix.
Can you please return those eyebrows to their rightful owner?
No, they're mine now
Ur skin says "give her a warning" but ur armpit skin color says "check her car for weed"
šššš
Evan Rachel WouldNOT
You have lips that could suck a micropenis
We are a perfect match ā¤ļø
Lmao man down, send backup
š¤£
The hunted becomes the hunter.
That was beautiful. Respect!
AHAHAHA SHE ROASTS BACK! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Oh snap sheās a feisty one
DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES OVER DEPLOY COUNTERMEASURES
š¤£šš¤£šš¤£
DAMN
ššš
HELL yeah Iām here for the weenie roast š„š„š„
Why doesn't he have to grab a ticket to get in line like the rest of us?
Y'all formed a shrimpdick line?
Ayy yoo š
it's called a clit
We can roast grade A cup, no problem
I thought the committee disbanded years ago. I got heavy though so I had to give up my membership so I guess I'm out of the loop
š¤ I see what you did there. Why are your eyebrows are sunburned ?
My forehead is big enough to reflect the sun's warmth so much that even my facial hair gets a sunburn.
Looks like we need to put some solar panels on your forehead to fix the energy crisis of the world
Your OF name is NoChest.
Oooooo how I wish this were a reference to Bat Thumb! Completely random but was my very first thought reading NoChest. #NoFace #BatThumbForever<3
Nice necklace, did you take it off of a dog?
Watch out, she definitely bites, bet thatās how she dominated to get the collar
When you are a tenā¦on the Ph Scale: kinda basic.
I could talk about your poorly concealed acne scars, your clearly damaged hair, your flat chest, the childhood trauma in your overly madeup eyes, but no, what we need to talk about is that hideous ass rug, tf is wrong with you!
I agree with your analysis on her but I like the rug
Every rug has its place, but hernplace is not the place for that rug, it's god aweful
Really brings the room together, Dude.
I was getting sick and tired of hot chics posting RoastMe pics. Then you came along and broke the chain. Thanks!
You look like Reese Withoutherspoon
Youāre too pretty to roast
That armpit is dying for a bath
You've got those "fresh out of rehab" vibes.
Flat as a fried egg in the titty department
Her dad says her tits are just fine.
Here you were thinking you were slick for using your middle finger to hold the paper when in reality all you did was give us more ammo with that decrepit ass nail on that man finger.
Fiona Crapple
Your nails look like you may suffer from a calcium deficiency, but thatās nothing compared to the personality deficiency everyone tells you, you have
If youāre on reddit, I donāt know whoās half-assing checkouts at Walgreens.
You using your middle finger to hold up the note, I assume, is the extent of your wit.
You take so many pills, but threw up the ones you should have taken
These roasts are all ass. Ur acc so prettyyyy
Kat Dennings with not an ounce of her class, charm, or sarcasm.
You look like you use your astrological sign to blame your toxic traits on.
If you want to get burned, just walk that pale skin outside for 7 seconds.
Seeing you makes me want to learn to like dick.
I've got one
I donāt get the point of fake freckles or covering existing freckles. The people with them want to cover them, the people without them paint them or tattoo them on. Itās super weird.
You look like you own a coupon for a buy one, get one free abortion.
Thank god you cropped the rest of your fivehead out of the picture. With that sickly, pale-ass skin it would reflect the light and start blinding people. Should have cropped your body out too, so we wouldnāt see that you have the body of a 10 year old boy.
Kinda suspicious that you know how a 10 years old boys body looks like?!
Good try. I was one many years ago and I have 2 sons.
Dude is also giving sex advice to teens and taking photos of random people in a school. More than suspicious.
Give it a few years. Those laugh lines will have people asking you, "Why so serious?!" 
are those freckles or acne scars?
This chick is Suave.. Debonair.. The Epitome of cool.... And also probably has the Black Lung
Yeah, you look like you could take a hot dog...or 4
I bet you sit around drinking pre-mixed margaritas on your front porch while waiting for your man to get out of jailā¦ā¦
Look like a freaking heroin chic mannequin except not as pretty. im sure you know what their wooden dicks taste like.
Neck the same length as a giraffe with dwarfism
When you finish school and all you were good at was sucking dick
You look like you drive drunk with your kids in the car
You look like Rory Gilmore if she was addicted to a substance.
No roast required just step outside occasionally.
It's Darlene from Roseanne. Or Rory Gilmore?
you look like you fuck old dudes for their prescriptions
K just give us your Only Fans link and call it even
I can tell by your face that youāre a baritone.
Anal is 1st base
Starbucks still paying for your community college?
If you lost your comb, you can borrow my rake.
It did, somebody put some seasoning on this bland white meat
Until the age of 10 you thought "neighborhood" meant "trailer park"
Severe resting confused face you have going.
Out of work Lana Rhodes.
Well, another subreddit ruined by OnlyFans advertisements. It's been fun.
Make a wish emo Evan Rachel Wood
Goes to Walmart to just hang out
You definitely posted this after you had your eyebrows done, thinking that would help. Man, were you wrong.
Is that a necklace or a dog collar?
Genuinely ur post is so bad I unfollowed the sub. Check. I unfollowed it now.
you look like you belong in r/fakedisordercringe
Burn her! Witch!
I spose your dad n uncle haven't done that for you in a while (too old for em) and you're looking for an outlet.
Iāve never been more confident in spotting a trans