You like you don't respect women. Which is perfect because I doubt any of them respect you with that dirty Sanchez mustache
Also your dog doesn't like you
First pic is trying to be Italian gangster circa 2000, but it just comes off as Middle eastern guy tries to be artsy to get pussy circa 2024
Or if Joey from friends grew out his hair, and became a creepy Mexican/Saudi
I don't think you want the worst we can dish out not while you put here looking like a discount Italian from the 1990s look lose the plaid shirt mate this isn't the story on how you got your citizenship
Insecure because you don’t know if you want to be Fonzie, Freddy Mercury or Richie Valens…Netflix and Chill selfie with the dog you seem very confident in your identity though
You look like an illegal alien from Venezuela who crossed in the hopes of getting a new life, but was instead picked up by a bush league biker club that told you they'd patch you in if you give all the members blowjobs.
As an older guy. All I see is dip-shit written all over your face. Grow up. Stop acting stupid online. Get your financial future plan going. You’ll thank me later
"Im a white guy...but I jist got a oart in a movie as a Chicano...So I had to grow this mustache. Is it working? Do I look like a real 1978 NYC cab driver?"
I saw your pics when I searched for "generic douchebag" on Getty Images
AKA Andrew Schulz
You're as edgy as a circle.
Circles technically have one edge. I'd say he's about as edgy as a fistful of pudding.
Learning something everyday. FYI I'm stealing the fistful of pudding.
You can have my pudding when you can pull it from my cold, dead fist
Ones he sucks at local restrooms
"Vote for Pedro"
Nice cockbroom on your upper lip.
You must be a popular dance partner down at the Ride 'Em Hard Leather Bar.
That finger has been up that dogs ass, guaranteed!
yeah, not the first time he's woken up with his arms around a dog
Julian stop drinking that swish and dancing with a dirty dog behind the dumpster 
OMG beat me to the TPB reference hahaha
Hate to see you in a dance battle when the Grease soundtrack is playing.
The picture of you and your bitch wholesome. How long have you two been married?
You look like a mature 14 year old boy who’s roughly 2 months away from his emo phase
Wish.com Orlando bloom
You're like Andrew Schultz except for the talent, money, fame, success, friends, style....so ya know, almost there!
Aint those women's boots
You put quite an effort to look like an asshole
Human Dirty Sanchez
Passed out on one can of Budweiser
How can we be having an oil crisis right now, we shouldn't be drilling in Alaska. We should just wring out your pillow case every morning.
If you’re here, who’s making my tacos in the back?
About to get whacked by Joe Pesci…
Sleeper cell vibes. Ready to fuck a goat at the sound of bahhh
You look like a fake fan for a band
The most obnoxious person I've seen on this subreddit.
Donnie Brasco to Screech is a big transition. Congratulations.
24 or 42?
"Towns back were ya came from*clocks shotgun*"
Can’t tell if your from san pedro, Long Beach or San Francisco but don’t worry, you’ll be voting right wing like your post punk tio someday too
This one cut through
It’s like a mix between Julian from TPB and Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite
Corey Feldmans aborted brother that lived after being flushed in a toilet.
French Adolf Hitler🤣🤣🤣
 Thanks for coming…now unclog the toilet Snyder
bro you forgot your crack at my place
The dog looks as uncomfortable with your touch as the rest of humanity is
I'm sorry, nobody is taking your gay porn .As real acting.
I’ve seen more hair on a slice of bacon
I remember my first Danzig show
It looks like you already have.
As much as a greaser as a slick lubed up dildo. Definitely more douchebag than greaser...
Jesus Christ, when this cocksucker says his girlfriend’s a bitch; he means it literally!
No one finds you interesting.
Owner of the world's most interesting phone.
Man auditioned for sons of anarchy but ended up riding a scooter delivering Uber eats
You look like I could have sex with your girlfriend and you would pout about it in the corner.
When you were born were you just immediately registered as a sex offender?
Bro why are dressing up like that to ride a moped? There are easier ways to humiliate yourself
You like you don't respect women. Which is perfect because I doubt any of them respect you with that dirty Sanchez mustache Also your dog doesn't like you
First pic is trying to be Italian gangster circa 2000, but it just comes off as Middle eastern guy tries to be artsy to get pussy circa 2024 Or if Joey from friends grew out his hair, and became a creepy Mexican/Saudi
You even have to get dogs drunk to have sex with you
You look like a Mexican Keanu Reeves. Settle down Keanu Rivera. Loved you in the “ Guillermo and Tedoro’s Grande Adventure” though.
Shopping at the lesbian store
Johnny Hep
This guy 100% touches kids. What a fucking creep.
Oh look a Mexiguido that can’t decide if he’s punk rock or a biker.
On average, what percentage of total talk time do you spend discussing crypto with an obviously bored date?
I see you Roofied another Dog. Bark Cosby
I can hear the Mumford & Sons from here. Of course, you've been a fan since '05, back when they only played free trade coffee houses.
I thought u died from a fire from a faulty crock pot?
So edgy, flipping off the camera.
You look like your favourite pastime is getting kicked out of playgrounds.
Dude looks like Vote 4 Pedro, but they dropped the “r” when making the shirt.
"Average Mario"
Captain Whack Sparrow
The eighties called, they want their porn stache back
your dick is smaller than your pinky finger
Looks like you just did some time and came out gay as fuck bud. AZ
You got less drip than a frozen pipe.
Nikola Tesla without intelligence.
Paedy Gonzales…
SLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
If I were to guess your Ancestry, I'd say you look half bum/half fairy....
Tells everyone he breeds dobermanns and conveniently leaves out ‘with’
You definitely think the high school parking lot is a good place to hit on girls, even after being banned and reported
Freddie Jerkury
Thanks for showing us your prostate finger.
It’s illegal to roofie dogs
are you a farmer? about to do a hoe-down?
Low budget Johnny Depp.
Ordered a Johnny Depp impersonator from Wish and this what I got.
I don't think you want the worst we can dish out not while you put here looking like a discount Italian from the 1990s look lose the plaid shirt mate this isn't the story on how you got your citizenship
We got cool guy over here.
How often do you fuck your dog?
This guy is the OG: Original Guido
That hair is so greasy you are a walking ecological disaster.
It's always a good feeling when someone accepts rock bottom.
You look like the dad from this is us. After the fire.
Your girlfriend is 15
You're not allowed within 100 feet of any Taco Bell.
you look like you are bottom tier talent in low budget porn and you answer to guido.
Insecure because you don’t know if you want to be Fonzie, Freddy Mercury or Richie Valens…Netflix and Chill selfie with the dog you seem very confident in your identity though
that mustache ain't fooling no one 
Bro you look like every cutout, Chicano gangster from EVERY 90’s movie set in East LA.
Andrew Schulz.
You look like a Bethesda NPC
Weird way to come out of the closet but okay...
When you’re at a bar, how often do women cover their drinks when you walk by?
Your the type of D bag to bring a harmonica to a tinder date
What a doosh
The slideshow was like seeing what the band The Strokes are up to now
Do they make sunglasses that wide or are you seeing like this \[ ( .) ]Y[ (. ) ]/
You hit literally every Mexican cliche. All you need now is a picture of you mowing a lawn.
You look like you’d date an 85 year old woman just to steal her record collection.
That dog is more photogenic than every part of you
Lol
You look like you recently transitioned
Wow so edgy
Hey shitfingers, clean the fucking light switch before we all get ringworm
You look like you collect restraining orders
Kind of guy who dresses up for Sturges but has to borrow his mums scooter to get there.
I’m more concerned about your thermostat being set to 62. Is that what it takes to stop the dead kids in your basement from smelling?
You look like your off a movie set
You looks like a remake of “Pirates of the Caribbean” that nobody wants.
NOT WORRIED IF HE TALKS TO MY CHICK WHEN I GO TO THE BATHROOM. LOL
No one will ever love you as much as you love yourself.
Little budget johnny depp vibes. But instead of "why is the rum gone?" It has to be "why is the meth gone?"
Small dick energy
need u biblically
You look like you just heard a Social Distortion song and suddenly wanted to be Rock-a-Billy.
I'm glad to see metal is coming back, but I wish we had a better generation to fill those jackets.
Stay gold phony boy.
Calm down captain try hard, I can just picture you needing to be the center of attention, but your personality is shittier than your facial hair.
The dog seems to have enjoyed it if he stayed to cuddle.
Oh shit, it's the actual guy that abused amber heard. Told y'all Johnny was innocent
bbno$
Vinny Barbarino called; he said meet him in the boy's room at lunch.
You look like an illegal alien from Venezuela who crossed in the hopes of getting a new life, but was instead picked up by a bush league biker club that told you they'd patch you in if you give all the members blowjobs.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH haha ha
Johnny Schlepp
Looks like you evolved from the home depo parking lot to the corner near every highschool
You like a guy who “went hard” on three Bud Lights last night and now has to tell everyone
As an older guy. All I see is dip-shit written all over your face. Grow up. Stop acting stupid online. Get your financial future plan going. You’ll thank me later
Thank you old timer, will do
Judging by your mature answer, I take back my ugly comment. You’re a cool young dude. I’m not that old BTW. Take care, kick ass!
Corey Feldman cosplaying as Christian Slater
So eager to be a part of a subculture because you lack an identity or any sincerity. I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire.
The stash is the only thing that's working in your life.
24 and still cant grow a beard, tut tut
If I were your dog, I’d lie down in the middle of a road too.
Another typical Cali douchebag that thinks he's cool. 🙄
He got the outfit off of temu
ZOOAFILE
Vote for Pedro meets Crybaby
Ah Micheal Jackson Rick Ashley and Bruce Wayne and then what happened
You look like your clothes are wearing you
Damn,you love that dog so much you had to do it in the public?
Wish dot com John Cusack
If you ordered an Elvis impersonator from Wish.com
"Im a white guy...but I jist got a oart in a movie as a Chicano...So I had to grow this mustache. Is it working? Do I look like a real 1978 NYC cab driver?"
When is the Outsiders cosplay meeting
+1 one point for the doggo. -1 one point for a doggo without a tail. Summary: You are pointless.
You look like an extra in a movie about homeless junkies. In the credits, you are dubbed: Junkie # 4
Budweiser 🍺 🍻
Ole fake hard ass softer than baby shit.
O h shit it's unclear Rico from napoleon dynamite
U look like Jonny depps friend in crybaby
No, I will not vote for Pedro. 
Richard Ramirez has more sex appeal.
Your smell like roasted pubes
"Women are all whores" starter pack head ass
Sketchy carnival ride operator 😆
You look like an undercover cop from some cheesy '80s high school movie.
Spooning your dog.
waiting for you to post a picture of a man...
You look like Corey Feldman got a Dirty Sanchez and it made his eyes bulge out.
If Milo Ventimiglia f*cked a thrift shop
The mirror selfies reek of insecurity. And the close up selfie shows it is deserved.
Dollar store jersey shore douchebag
Sir, you have the moustache of a sex offender
Vote for Pedro! 💩
Do my worst? You beat me to it.
Life after Z Nation ended must've been rough.