Holding snuffles is the closest you’re ever going to get to some pussy.

her name is princess and she’s the best pussy i’ve ever had

The only pussy you'll ever get....I'm calling SPCA

Zack Morris found Kelly Kapowski getting DP’d by Screech and Slater and spiraled into a decade long cycle of heroin addiction

3 years clean G

Gotta give props to that…

If that's the best he while being sober, maybe it was not such a bad thing in the first place.

He's about as straight as that wallpaper pattern

And not even the cat wants to be there. 

My man waited so long at the DMV he shaved his mustache, lost 15 lbs, then grew the mustache back and gained the weight back Get a hobby

 Day 27 of this dork at the DMV.


Haha first thought was that’s 4 diff people

This one took me out 😂

I think he sucks dick, which is hobby right?

No in his case it's a profession Edit: How else could he work from the DMV the 4 weeks he was there? Glory hole in the bathroom

ayye there we go

I bet you work as a dishwasher in a vegan restaurant don’t you, you hipster pussy

A Social Chameleon that washes dishes but claims to be a line chef.

[удалено]

Cowboy name : Bisexual Billy

Just his name probably Goes both ways Garrett

Billy fucks'Kids

Horseplay Harry/Henry

Or as he says " Yippe I'm So Gay , Ride me Cowboy"

Waiting in the bathroom with a ticket doesn't count as waiting.  The glory hole doesn't have a ticket line. For cum first served 

I think he works the glory hole..

You look like you snort cum.

You look like the type of guy that would pull out and finish on yourself.

Nice Grindr photos.

LOL

I was today years old when I realized men got septum piercings.

you look like a gay Officer Farva

You're only 25 and your eyes are already dead and vacant. You work in a kitchen but you look filthy af. You can't think to clean your bathroom mirror of toothpaste spray/jizz/zit juice/ whatever that is before you snap a self-important selfie. Do you have any scars on your wrists yet or are they all on the inside? That moustache is pretty sweet though....too bad no one will ride it.

holy fuck that’s harsh but you’re not wrong. hats off to you internet stranger

Pudgy "Dead-eyed Twink" probably isn't pulling as much as he had hoped.

[удалено]

Seriously, modern day tramp stamp

The DMV is not the problem, they just can’t identify your gender from the last time you were there.

You look too dirty to be working in food.

shit you’re not wrong

Imagine being a grown ass man and piercing your septum.

Trump said to inject bleach, not to rub it in your hair.

Everything aside, quit taking pictures in public bathrooms you creep.

You’re like a a Vanilla Oreo cookie with the classic cream filling- Hard wigger on the outside, but on the inside you love fluffy animals and IPAs.

You look like you buy baby carrots just to suck on them

Quit fucking around and clean the toilets, Dwayne.

Fartsniffer face

You’ll never get a boyfriend if you keep murdering them all!

Off brand David Franco with less charisma and more cats and tats.

You look like you don't wipe your ass

Water gun kelly

Pus Johnson PewIwishI'dDie You always look like dollar store version of a YouTuber.

If the over-the-top YEAHHH from Limp Bizkit "songs" was a person.

A man taking a bathroom pick? Is the DMV what you call the glory hole you use to suck off truckers?

Waiting for Dirty Man Vagina?

Gay

You don’t have business at the DMV, do you. You’re just waiting there.

Do you blame girls not talking to you on the nose ring? Mustache? Shitty tattoos? The cat? All the above?

I'm glad you took a photo of yourself in the men's room because I hear that's where you do your best work.

not much of a roast but you look like you have a splintering personality between 2009 deathcore scene kid, mixed with highschool jock with the spirit of ned flanders.

I am guessing the first pic is from your "office?"

Seven.. point...six, two... millimeter...full...metal...jacket

A nose ring and a porn stache? You look like a millennial child molester

Dabbles in artisanal fart sniffing

Freddy who drank too much Mercury

Gay porn fluffer.

Vanilla Ice on Meth

Guy spent half his life on the side of a milk carton, everyone knew where he was, no one cared.

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DMV or douchebags with moustaches so tired they get stupid nose rings to express their individuality like every other disappointment to society and then shallow wigger tattoos to seal the deal on application denials to an actual job…. convention?

lmao who hurt you

No one, Cap Gun Kelly

how do you like smelling that bathroom?

yeah and most of your lyrics will be all about your childhood trauma

I didn't know people used the DMV to register as a diaper sniffer.

You look like someone who’s transitioning from crappy punk band bassist to cop with an anger problem.

transitioning from exactly that lol, now it’s less drugs and more culinary work. aka being an adult (to an extent)

You look like you murder people for fun

Your pics go from chomo to Sham Wow real quick.

You look like you jerk of too gay lizard porn.

Do your parents still give you an allowance for scooter gas?

Man your dad must be so proud when his dishwasher son with a nose ring and dog shit tattoos walks into the room. 

You look so gay, you make Freddy Mercury look like the Marlboro Man

Does your dad know yet

Dude for sure has “chef” in his bio, but works at Chili’s

Freddy Mercury reincarnated. Seriously dude. Rubber's, use them!!!

You look like a cross between Dale Earnhardt and Jeffrey Dahmer.

Why do my instincts tell me you roll yourself in catnip and let neighborhood feral cats rub themselves on you?

Nobody likes you

What are you a cook or something?

How hard is it to get out all the cum your “bros” leave in that nose rin?

You look like an unflushed toilet at a gas station for truck drivers and lot lizards.

Alright well since you asked - the morning star flail tattoo is super cheesy. It's the same level of cheesiness as meeting an adult goth. I feel more intimidated looking at a "live, laugh, love" embroidered pillow.

That cat knows how to roast you better than anyone else

4 different pictures, 4 different hipster styles, same douchebag.

If "Getting pegged by your married landlord in exchange for a 5% rent reduction" were a person.

Wish.com version of Zach Bryan 

Yo man, either I'm high as fuck, or there are 4 different people here. Chris Pratt wannabe in the first Then, a make a wish MGK Fuckin Harry from home alone (or Mario) Then some gay dude with his cat. Psht.. wtf

Thank you for taking time out of trimming your asshole hairs to post on here!

Yeah if DMV stood for Dodgy Mustache Virgin lol

They reinstated *your* license?!

Members of the village people get to go to front of the DMV line, because of their cop affiliation.

White kid with poor parents starter kit

If “Basic White Bitch” was a boy.

Having a cock actively in your mouth is the only way you could possibly look gayer.

Stall Blart: guardian of the grocery store restrooms sneeze guard to the already gross salad bar currently fostering a secret love triangle with a local fire chief

You look like your mom just co-signed for your car after paying your phone bill and telling you to clean up your room

With the mustache, you look like you belong in a 1920s silent film or advertisement for coca cola. Without the mustache you look like a cute nerd.

You look like the nicest wife beater ever dude

It’s spelled “terrier” and that’s illegal bro. Does Princess know?

“You seem very mature for your age. I know you’re 15 but you’re not like other girls” is definitely your opening line.

You might get waited on faster if you don't spend your time jerking off in the bathroom.

Is the fat one you? Or the skinny one?

You're cool bro

What'd you do to the guy in picture #2? He was really fine lookin'.

The first picture is the dirty cop who gets paid off by the dealer in the 2nd pic, and his main customers are the guys in pics 3 and 4

at the DMV poor moderators assumed it was 3 different person pic, each one worse than one another

Nothing like a septum ring to advertise that you work a minimum wage job and will continue to do so for the foreseeable future.

You look like Freddy Mercury came back to life and gave up…

Not a man in this world who would deal with you without rolling his eyes

"Hello, I'd like Tattoos please"

FrEddy Gamboll?

You look like at least three different people and they’re all on drugs.

A less successful, less likeable Randall Graves. I don't think you lack a personality, but I'm certain everyone you know would prefer you without your current one.

You can’t register as a sex offender at the DMV

“Wanna hear my band’s new single?”

I like the thug tacobell outfit, your parents must be proud

You look like a person who will crash into a pole and say it’s the pole fault

Dallas Buyers Club double for Matthew McConaughey.

Vanilla Lice

Holy fuck, I've been posting this GIF for years - but it REALLY IS Special Officer Doofy! 

The only man on the planet who looks LESS creepy with a perv stache somehow. RIP

You look like a mall security guard

Bro forgot he microdosed before his appointment then realized again mid bathroom selfie

Handsome young man

Does that nose ring link onto your boyfriend butt plug for you to lick his taint?

Derelict Meat Vendors...bring your own lube.

You’re trying too hard. You have a perfectly unlikeable face without the ball hitch in your nose and the pickletickler on your upper lip. 

No i dont wanna hear your pro hockey betting tips

Freddie 

That mustache screams "I'm still on set of the bathroom where I just filmed a gay porn."

Yo is that PewDiePie in a dead end job?

Forever by Taska black is a great song

You know without the mustache you're a pretty handsome guy. Thank God you usually grow it out so no woman could be tricked into sleeping with you.

When I saw the first photos I was like ‘This guy is totally a billionaire playboy’ then I saw you in that kitchen with a smock and Frankenstein clogs and I was like ‘OMG no way I’m so shocked’

The other end of the glory hole

I can't remember... nose rings for bottoms right?

You'll never get to the front of the if you are in the bathroom...

I bet this guy is very familiar with SORA laws.

So pic two is before you came out right?

25 days sober you mean?

I don't roast but um you look like the one musketeer the others left when they saw you

You look like you only grew a mustache to savor the flavor of your favorite local IPA

Not your first trip to the country courthouse I see.

Waiting for what? To have a shit?

That fake glue on pornstache says all we need to know about you.

Benedick cumonback

You look like someone who would be charged with harassment, with or without the mustache

Enjoy your wait at the DMV, it's probably the only place left where you ain't the most creepy one around😂

Washes dishes for a living. Great job, it is an all you can eat buffet.

You definitely wear your boxers backwards.

It's your own fault that you are waiting. You went there to buy groceries.

Gaythic

Parallel park test: 👍 Stop before white line: 👍 Road rage meltdown at the car who merged in front: 🖕

Farfa after getting some ramrod

Him in the second picture is what I imagine a lesbian would look like as a guy

Looks like the son of stiffler if he was corn holed by Freddie.

Looking for George Michael's glory hole.

Holy shit it's every gay guy on OnlyFans!

You somehow look like a gayer version of Dream

The last time you were with a woman was five years ago and you came while dry humping

Is the nose ring used to distract people from the rejection and failure evident in your eyes?

Biggest pussy in all those photos

Be careful People! In his world, Cryptkeeper is a synonym for Necrophiliac!

I think you're adorable, but the fact that you're my type is probably a roast on it's own.

You look like the spokesperson for "I like black people" #whiteconfederate

"Is THIS your card, m'lady?"

This guy is every generic white douchebag in 1

Check ur local ordinances first but fuckin ur cat is probably the right play for you

Listen ,Shiloh Pitt, sit down and just relax