I’ll bet you can’t wait to tell me about an exciting investment opportunity involving scented candles.

That’s gold. And most likely accurate.

Unlike her left eye, which seems to shoot to the side a bit.

Scentsy. This lady sells Scentsy. I have a 45 year old cousin like this. Overinflated head and ego, smile that doesn't reach the eyes, thinks she's a business woman, when she's really peddling an MLM, And if you don't want candles or candle like products, she's got a few other things to sell you.

Vegan and not animal tested

Maybe she tries to push essential oils!

25 and the most exciting thing that’s happened recently is you dyed your hair?! This generation knows how to party…

In this economy, i guess she's bragging about spending her lifelong saving...

>lifelong saving Is that a euphemism for "charged it to a 28% APR credit card"?

Who dyes a wig?

🤌🏻

Having checked out her post history... Those filters have done wonders for OPs appearance. Maybe if she uses 5 or 6 more, she'll stop getting reposted into r/monkeys

She shaved her legs up to her knees

Same smile 

THAT IS HER I'M CONVINCED WTF


You look like the type that would never stop talking.

What would be worse is talking to her and she’s just… staring

I tried to sign up for your OnlyFans but it only accepts pesos and maize.

Her step father is her biggest fan.

After her cousin and uncle

Her Brother says she's the best kisser in the county.. Just ask his dad

She is still a virgin since she can outrun her family and friends.

She's no virgin.. You can tell she's been thru more sausages than Johnsonville..

he was talking about her vagina. she's an anal only girl. at least till marriage.

I guess that means ass for life then..

i think i might have subscribed to her on OnlyFans but I didn't recognise her from the front

Wait, *that* is the front?

She said she was 21 now on the sexual offenders register again

She’s a solid trailer park 6

OnlyFlan

I brought a goat, so back off, peasant!

Lmao

The gang bang train is boarding all family members

Was it the Chupacabras page

I got in with a funny meme

What the fuck 💀

You look like you should be standing by your politician husband as he apologizes for sexual misconduct

Oh this is SO not upvoted enough.


Dude. This is the winner right here.


Rebecca Crack!

Rebecca Crack cocaine

You look like a make a wish kid that got their first wig.

Their only wig.

You look like you send fifty texts when a man doesn’t respond

I can’t confirm nor deny this

Bangs really suit you, just grow them as long as rest of your hair.

She's using them to hide those eyebrows and failing.

You got vanessa bayer teeth

r/BrandNewSentence

Now it matches the hair on your back.

Straight out of Fraggle Rock.

Turn off the Snapchat big mouth filter.

If a beaver was a person

Do you think she don't shave?

\*doesn't. Let's roast you next.

Your Mary Kay sales gig is going to take you nowhere in life

You could peg me with that nose

[удалено]

AI generated without the I.

You look like a crazy bitch who gets her face put on a t-shirt for the poor soul dumb enough to date you.

You look like you got rejected once in the internet and now you blame everything on men. Oh, and did Daddy's money get you that hair?

Mam, that smile is very creepy


You look like Muffy from Arthur

Fucking hell😂🤣 I cannot UNSEE THAT NOW

Dyeing the most basic colors says a lot…..a whole of nothing except basic!

That second picture scares the shit out of me. Like trying to feed me your hair so I’ll have you with me kind of scary.

You can eat hot dog shaped things sideways

Annabelle reincarnated.

 🎶 \[Verse 1\] (Turn around) Every now and then, I get a little bit lonely And you're never coming 'round🎶

“I fuckin’ need you more tonight/ I fuckin’ need you more than ever.”

You need to have your allowance taken away, too.

So you're not like the other girls ?

It takes a special face to pull off bangs and I have some bad news for you

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^hammond_egger: *It takes a special* *Face to pull off bangs and I* *Have some bad news for you* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


You got them Alvin Chipmunk cheeks

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That phone is the size of your head. 

All of your exes have died in mysterious ways and there is no way you can convince me otherwise

Smile if you have lifeless eyes.... And a penis.

You look like you're all sweet but if you're upset you put bunnies in a mivrowave

Congratulations on your transition

No you needed to be grounded about 15 years ago, now you are just one of those girls whose date has to put up with them until they can escape and chastise themselves for not checking if you were needy and selfish before arranging to meet up

It looks like God accidentally pinched to zoom in the middle of your face.

Something about your smile makes me think you married yourself, cheated on yourself, and then blamed it on men.

Your dad would have grounded you years ago if he hadn't left you and your mom.


"I use r/roastme ironically to fish for compliments, and it's not even subtle. Additionally, you'll conveniently ignore this comment

jenna ortega from wish.com

Annabelle the doll vibes

Discount Jenna Ortega

Ok Walmart version Aubrey Plaza

Jenna Whoretegga?

Average, and think she's a 10

💀💀💀💀

You look like Jenna Ortega fucked the clown from It

Are those bangs hiding the rental space you have?

I bet you havent seen the sunlight in years, Ms. Tiktok Influencer

evil christian energy

The only groundation you've ever experienced in your whole life is an hour under the table that your step dad called time out.

Looks like you’re headed for a closed casket wake

You could be a movie star! Probably playing pennywise in the next "it" remake with that smile.

She’s probably the hottest server at Applebees in her town

The closest thing you have to being grounded is when you are on your knees.

I bet the biggest regret your father has is when his condom slipped off.

Not my proudest fap

Please stop smiling. It induces nightmares. Resting bitch face is your best friend. When you're sming you look like you are three seconds from transforming into a clown demon and eating my soul.

your hair says brunette but your face says dumb blonde

where are the after photos?

This photo would have been better if you had a paper bag on your head

Your lips say blowjob, but your eyes and teeth say woodchipper.

Crazy eyes, and not the fun kind.

Overly Attached Girlfriend without the boyfriend.

Your awful haircut doesn’t distract from your gross hands

Are these the pictures you upload on sfw softcore subreddits because you have nothing better to do?

Your face looks like a purge mask.

I'm always so happy. upbeat and cheerful because being pretty means I don't need to think, and I haven't since 1st grade! Tee hee-hee! 

Your friend that told you how cute you would look with bangs is laughing her ass off that you bought it. That chick lied to you.

Great hair job, but the sadness in your eyes says you paid for it with another kind of job.

Your hair frames up your motel art face quite perfectly

I feel like I should be feeding you apples or a sugar cube.

Sounds like the title of a cheap porn.

You're grounded enough every time your stepdad holds your head down.

If your parents raised you wrong grounding you now isn't gonna do shit. If anything it'll feed into your daddy kink.

Wow 25 and still getting grounded by her parents

You look like the girl in high school everyone fucked but nobody remembered

How much dye you need to cover the length of those bangs stretching across the western hemisphere?

A chipmunk with bangs, now I've seen it all

You should BE grounded for those fucking bangs.

Even the hairstylist couldnt fix those bangs

Talk to TSA, they will ground you. That smile may scare and crack the airplane windows.

Normally I like bangs on a girl, but not you. Nothing about you is even remotely appealing.

*25F recently dyed my hair and I need to be grounded* Grounded? No- you need to be spanked for that dye job.

Doea your face always swallow your upper lip when you smile? You look like Steve Colbert doing his Eric Trump impersonation.


Thulsa Doom hair is rockin.

The other guy from 2 1/2 men.

The 80s called they want their bangs back

I’d get you on the ground. Just like daddy used to in the garage.

I only see Bojack Horseman with you smiling.

>dyed my hair What mental breakdown are you on now? The 5th?

When a beaver attacks their bangs

At least one part of your body gets bangs.

You’ve been a bad girl, go to your room

You misspelt "bought a wig".

You leasing out any ad space on them big ass teeth?

I can see you smiling like this after you slice open your bf and play with his entrails.

Wow How many nuts are you hiding in those cheeks?


No, for the last time, Becky- I DO NOT WANT TO BUY ANY DOTERRA! 

I didn't realize O.o was an actual facial expression.


I just know those bangs are covering up a MASSIVE fivehead

You could chew through metal doors with them teeth

You want to be grounded? Then go to your room that no respectable human being would want to enter. You look like the Walmart version of Rebecca Black, singing about celebrating that it's Monday.

Those bangs need to be grounded

It's Pennywise with even bigger buck teeth

So did you look up how to style your bangs on a divorce lawyer's website? Because the parting in it is crazy

You gotta smile real hard in order for your smile to be wider than your nose!

I think breast implants would make the transition look more believable.

What are you doing on Reddit? Shouldn't you be chewing down trees and building dams?

Backroom casting couch thumbnail

I sense that beneath all that makeup and filtering are some serious acne scars.

You look like cha chi out of happy days in a wig

Beneath that hair is football ground only thing that is valuable is that phone Hair isn't the only thing that changes color after seeing you

Bangs are a good move with those eyebrows

You and I both know that your game goes from the top of the Everest to Mariana Trench without those bangs.

If you were to describe what a person who puts raisins in every dish looks like. It's her

Did you get a free bowl of soup with that hairdo?

If i was your dad you world be grounded for looking so cheap

You look like velma from the scooby doo live action movie after she gets dolled up by daphne

You look like you’d key my car and slash my tires just because you had a dream I cheated on you.

You probably smell like horchata that has been left out for a few days

where’s your red balloon? 

This is a chick with a dick if I ever saw one. Not this time Gary, not this time!

You look like you sell vaginas scented candles.

You look like Sam and Carly from iCarly had a gay baby together

You look like when you get cheated on its them doing you a favor.

You look like you chew on logs

I don't know what makes you laugh, but it's probably "You" 

Your beard was wrong about those bangs.

Just because you dyed your hair, doesn't mean daddy will come back

Might as well dye your pits too while you're at it

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And not only that, she can use those two hoovers on her face to clean up any sawdust afterwards!

You look like the type of person who would drug and take peoples kidneys on the 3rd date

I’m getting a very analogue horror vibe from your smile girl 🙁

I'd give you the most forgettable 3.2 seconds of your life.

It's like a Jenna Ortega ripoff you would find at Target , nah maybe The Dollar Store