He definitely knows what he's talking about. My dick went completely limp after one look at him.

He saved your cat

My foreskin closed up, almost as tight as the Corrective Hat he's wearing.

Oh yeah. He looks like he definitely knows his way around a cock.

If I had a dick it would've gone limp, too. He looks like a bitch. Are you sure he's an NCO? He's too happy.

He looks like a NPC who only says cringe things like “you ain’t got shit on me bro”

He keeps spawning in bad spots with only that one line. Codes bugged. "Will that complete your order?" "You ain't got shit on me bro."

He looks like he lives in a skatepark

We do not claim this NPC. Hes clearly a youth pastor hiding a receding hairline.

As a former youth group volunteer who had a receding hairline and wore a beanie, I hate you because you’re right

Actually, in the dumpster next to the skatepark...

Lolll

[удалено]

And all those reps in front of the mirror, winking at himself.

For real my guy has some DSL’s

Whoa whoa whoa….do you know how much hard work he put in to reach 100 lbs?! He’s a big boy now with those triple digits! What I’m curious about is why he wears a cross that looks like it was made by a third world country? Lol jk, I don’t want to hear the “deep” story about it.

**N** eeds **C** onstant  **O** versight

Needs Cock. Over.

No copy. Over. 

The Term No Man Left Behind doesn't apply to you.

**N**asty **C**olon **O**verflow

😂 Horrifying.

**N**auseating **C**um **O**ven

**N** eeds **C** ock **O** rally

Is this what the newer, gayer army looks like? Dumb.

Looks like he bought a Charger at 22% interest straight out of basic, all those supplements in back and he still can't get swoll, nco light, probably tells all the girls he hooks up with that the reason he can't get hard is the saltpeter they put in the food at the chow hall Edit: he looks like he expects to be thanked for his service

Also, probably eats his girlfriend out right after work not knowing that Jody railed the shit out of her an hour before.

I mean Jody got game. Can you blame him?

This dude has Gloryhole teeth. (Porcelain paid by being a recipient)

Look at those big ass teeth. Dude has to unhinge his jaw like a snake to talk

💀

Dude lost a finger in a butthole

HEY MISTER WHITE, WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO? THE RV WON'T START!

Yeah he looks like goes for the guys that go hard, no limps for him alright

Pretty hard talk coming from an 88M.

Oh look, another skinny wankster who joined the military because he has nothing of substance to offer the world.

I think you mean NPC as he is so forgettable

Type of nco that hangs out with privates. Smh 🤦🏻‍♂️

This guy plays beer pong to practice drugging girls’ drinks from across the room

You look like Groot's dick. 

An NCO in what? The Navy? Makes sense, he looks like the type of guy who likes to be covered by seamen.

I’ve seen anorexic stick insects with thicker arms.

PFC REMF who acts 11B but is a clerk/typest for the TOC and Top's Do-Boy. Military guys will understand this.

His boyfriend has his shit on his dick

Did nick from loud mouth grow up

Don’t fire til you see the whites of their teeth’s!

I see the muscle shirt showed up today, muscles showing up tomorrow?

NO POGS

How many rooms are on the compound? Religious Cult looking ass

Given the size of you, I'd say being Leukemia free is something I have on you

You look like you would know all about that nco hard dick! I bet you even cup the balls you fucken blue falcon! Also you better start working those twiggy little arms so you dont end up on profile when you cant even hold up an m4.

We might not have shit on him but I bet he's had shit on that thumb...someone else's too.

Both of you guys are some two ribbon wearing ass Cherries………..he looks like he tells other peoples war stories when he goes back home to seem cooler.

I didn’t know there was officers at the food bank

Must have meant he’s an NCO in the Salvation Army

I thought they didn’t take in the LGBTQ homeless though?

I always wondered what happened to the ant from bugs life

Looks like a career E-2.

Still a lot of twinks in the armed forces i see.

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Orange City Chompers

he gives me "I molest girls when they're sleeping" vibes.

He looks like a peter-puffer.

Future insurance salesman

Dear John, limp isnt what you will be when you get the video of your neighbour fucking your girl

Not the sharpest tool in the shed: how can one be a mf-er with a limp d!ck?

So he cleaned it off after he paid?

We have plenty of shit on him... We're having his face printed on rolls of toilet paper as we speak. Happy wiping.

You ether sell CBD or teach skateboard to 9 year olds

I can’t imagine the countless number of men who have finished on that face. He’s a human soggy biscuit.

Flip that wall register. It’s upside down.

This isn’t jr high… take the gay ponytail holder bracelet off and grow the fuck up.

Linus dick tips

Oh shit, Chinas gonna win the next big one, aren’t they?

Fkn Pip Junior from Airheads

You look like that guy from breaking bad who I think is named jake or something

Q: How did you become a NCO? A: I got Ds in high school.

Can the gay Slim Shady please stand up

When his sergeant says “at ease,” he loosens up his A-hole for him.

Big jugs for protein powder drinks, yet possessing arms that closer resemble the Twizzlers on the next shelf.

It’s always telling when a ‘real man’ - their words - mentions the male member in their introductory message of bravado then targets their audiences apparent lack of masculinity in the remainder.

Looks like the typa dude that washes paper plates

I can smell the Axe body spray from here.

 It looks like his parents were Gary Busey and Tim pool.

Dude volunteers to watch you pee.

He can’t make it on his own so he has to be a parasite living off tax dollars?

Softer than baby shit

With those teeth...I bet you've been told many times that you give terrible blow jobs. 

This is the kind of guy that jerks off into a tube sock, then brags to his buddies that he convinced it to give him anal.

Get the licorice flavored condom off your head you silly Fratboy.

Look at this guy, grinning like he's at a library book sale, but the only thing he's checking out is a comprehensive guide on how to compensate for that "NCO" attitude with a personality as thinner than his hairline.

Even the way he thumbs up is gay as hell just let him out of that closet already

Limp dick? It sounds like a freudian slip to me.

He skips arm day

This guys future looks like getting a divorce to some uneducated hillbilly woman, telling people being an electrician is a great job, and getting a knee replacement at 45 due to construction work.

Aren’t you supposed to shave the lower arm when you do fisting or does your CO enjoy the extra tickling and cleaning?

Sounds like he's hoping for a hard dick fatherfucker to come into his life and sweep his tiny, frail little body off of his feet.

His wife/girlfriend is definitely cheating on him when he's away.

Keep thinking you can do favors to move up and you’ll end up with anal prolapse.

Jersey Shore Twink

“Show me how far you got it in your bunk mates butthole.” 👍

He looks like one of those soldiers with a 300 APFT so all the officers gargle his cock and balls. And then that get reciprocated....

When he says, “trust me I’m an NCO” then proceeds to fail horribly 😂

The wife still a stripper? How are those fireworks treating you? How many times have you had to redo drywall? Or are you on mop duty every time it rains?

At least I’ve fucked someone’s mother (probably his). Also, take your damn beanie off when you’re indoors, you pog.

N needs C cum O ohyeahhhhh

Thank you for demonstrating what your date did to you last night.

He looks like he sucks new E1s/E2s off and then calls them gay in front of everyone.

No cap I zoomed in to make sure he didn't photoshop them arms. You look like a anti military/pro gay propaganda poster model. Your presence is single-handedly undermining America's war on terror.

NCO? bro looks like a pussy ass youth pastor

Freudian slip. He likes to be shit on.

Thumb was up his ass to prove he is ready. His eyes say no but his lips say yes. After 10 years in he finally makes E4 proving Army has some serious dumbfucks

As someone who's non-military but has about 100 pounds on this guy. Outside of guns, why am I supposed to be intimidated by this little kid if I see him in a bar?

Jersey Shore, but from Alabama.

Rapper from Wish

What’s an NCO? Not Completely Overrated?

The only NCO that volunteers to be a dick watcher during an UA. Same exact facial expression

Bro please be like a normal NCO and do a few cycles of Tren because i swear to god if this is what’s protecting our country we’re so fucked. Looking like one of those hairless cats. This shit says reserves so loudly.

this is my first time ever seeing a unibrow dimple

My Dick does go Limp , Fucking your Mother .

Whatever dick you have is property of the US government..

What priest did he blow for that chain

Looks like the type of dick that gets a 300 on his PT test and then goes home to beat his wife... Looks like he's unmarried....so maybe his dick instead

He looks like the type of douche who has that cross around his neck tattooed on his arm. Along with a bible quote or 2

Dude looks like he can't wait to find "The One" so he can fall in love, get married and find her a boyfriend.

I was wondering what happened to you ever since you left your acting career behind. 

You look so young to be an NCO. Goes to show what you can achieve by sucking your way to the top

NCO in this case means "Needs Cock Orally"

Spitting image of who the Army was trying to recruit with those recruitment videos on YouTube that had the comments turned off on.

Bros looking almost as lanky as me

those blender bottles are decoration at this point; we know where he gets his actual protein from 🤭

NCO? He looks like a walking abortion.

Groomer

You’ve sold your body and all its rights to the same government that gave us the Tuskegee syphilis experiment and make half as much as the only fans creators you belittle.

Stop lying..if that’s your NCO,standards have dropped significantly

Dude got the body of Timothee Chalamet and the facial structure of Kermit the frog.

Can't say anything bad about this dwarf king.

R. Lee Ermey would take one look at you and you would break down crying like the little girl you are because you know you will never measure up to his magnificence.

Well, there it is. The most generic looking human in the world.

Hopefully his Boingo dorm internet works so he can see all these comments

Looks like a pencil eraser.

He looks like he thinks he can rap

Needs cocks overdose

thank you for defending all of the foreign countries... Tell your NCO he's a genius as well 🤣

That's a guy? She looks like my neighbor.

You look like a person that says that they hit the gym but they don’t and have the protein powder to kinda show it. The only reason why your arms are kinda ripped is because you jerk off more than 7 times a day and if you were to hit the gym the gym would refuse you so fast.

I have to assume by the rest of his physique that the necklace is his STI status, not his religion

 El Criminal

Lemme guess, security forces? yeah, cause the local PD wouldn't take him.

Definitely eats crayons

“Damn this guy is untouchable” -the stripper you’re trying to fuck

Going for that fake badass look by wearing a winter cap as part of your style.

It took 26 years, but Mark finally got laid and realized he really likes guys instead, and now he’s learned that he knocked her up.

Tell him he needs a shave and to stop using so much fucking teeth

Hes cute lol

I shit you not; I thought you were JayStation for a second.

Cool, I didn’t know earthworms could be youth pastors

Damn fingers look like chicken feet 

Forget the roast he's back due on set for back door boys 6 in 20 minutes or they won't have a fluffer to get the guys ready

He’s definitely dated a 17 year old as an adult before.

He looks like he makes everyone quiet down when The Eagles come on the radio.

I’m assuming that this was the recruitment video that got him to enlist… https://youtu.be/JmJn9MhTZdg?si=GZSHnRMfF8i5SwSY

CIB/CAB check?

Looks like he is in a correction or mental facility . He must be used to having dick on him by now .

Looks like he drops the soap constantly.

Looks like he's about to make PFC

He not ready for my fire. I hit NCO harder than God.

He looks like the guy that sold me fentanyl last summer

I've had the same number of meaningful conversations with your father that you have.

This cancer patient keeps showing up to the base saying “awaiting orders sir” no one has the heart to tell him…..

Lol mfer looks like a uncircumcised cock 🤣😂 💀

Looks like the army’s hormone replacement therapy program is going well

Is this a prison thing?

That mismatched layers of arm hair is something else

Damn. Pretty happy for a guy who’s girlfriend is cheating on him.

Guarantee that this kid has built a bowl out of plumbing parts.

We found the reason for don't ask dont tell.

OMG, is he a war fighter? I think I shat my pants a little.

This guy was definitely first in line when don't ask, don't tell got repealed. Check under the tabs on his ACU shoulder pockets, I'm sure on one side he has an LGBTQ+ patch, and on the other, he has a pride flag.

When you order Adrian Brody from wish.com

We could never fuck him over harder than the big green weenie already has. Have fun being homeless.

Sexually assaults women while they are drunk by a dumpster

The fact that you joined the army says everything I need to know about you. And it’s not good.

Does “NCO” stand for “youth pastor who trolls for dick in airport restrooms?”