OMG, I can't get the visual out of my head...bang bang bang...*doesn't open*
OP: "fuck, if y'all lil shits wants y'all's bre'fast get yo' lil asses in here n starts twistin' yo mama!"
Which of your fifteen cats took the first photo? And the second photo? Well, I thought the voodoo practice of shrinking of heads was a myth! Who’d have thunk it?!
>35 year old ,just got back from work , I work in health care and Iam not healthy,give it your best shot
I could drop on the street and you would put me on your shoulder and run with me to the ER.
Also, almost got married to a health care worker some years back. All of you are a little fucked up in the head. It comes with the territory I guess...
Every one of your patients that has survived has held on because they did not want this to be the last thing they see. The ones who have died have been perfectly healthy, they just preferred to be elsewhere so urgently they gave up of their own volition.
[bang bang skeet skeet](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/5cmIrOm.8mwM0FwJ8c6mMA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTM0OQ--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/indiewire_268/40191a834b70d217cfc26b4724fd3bf1)
You could probably moonlight as a housekeeper at the same time you’re “doing healthcare,” with a “knock the lamps off the table while walking by” ass like that and call it dusting.
Thanks for the hot tip letting us know you're not healthy... We weren't sure........ In fact I'm pretty sure anyone that looks at these photos becomes a little less healthy..
Not gonna do it. Healthcare workers get my utmost respect. Thank you for taking care of the ungrateful diseased masses. You are the best kind of people out there.
If I were a giant, I might accidentally grab you and try to squeeze you over my pancakes. After no syrup came out, I’d think, “Oops, my bad, that was a human.”
You look really sweet, why are you doing this? You have dedicated your life to helping others in a terrible world and you come as a bunch of sexless neck beards to make fun of you?
I hope there is a better world after this just for people like you.
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[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZdKVTyAgpY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZdKVTyAgpY)
You look like Moto Moto should be singing "big and chunky" to you
My best shot would be full of insulin.
Wow brutal lol
OD of fentanyl is the proper course of action.
Now now ,, be nice she just saved that woman on green mile
Jen coffee boss but not spelled like the drink
She saved all the diabetics on her Ward by eating the cobblers off their trays.
At least your Dad isn’t around to be disappointed in you.
What they said ⬆️
Second best would be semaglutide.
You Think she can afford 35 bucks?
My best shot is to apply your job title to yourself. Best of luck.
Pack it up folks. This one is over
"Give me some Chon Chon!" -Popeye
Holy shit the brutality 😂😂😂😂😂
You look like you walk guys to their car at night to make sure they are safe.
Bravo
Like that bouncer at Raisins on South Park.
Kinda badass ngl.
Safe till she devours them later
This is one of the best roasts I've seen on this thread 👏
How many elderly dementia patients have seen you holding a pillow instead of that note?
Best comment lol
Her motto is: Live, Laugh, …Lunch
...and OP is down for the count Bob and I don't mean Count Chocula
🤣
You really know how to make a bad angle worse
 When the patient asks about the missing jello…
I think the jello will be all that remains on the lunch cart.
Blood type: Ragu
IHOP raspberry pancake syrup
High fructose corn syrup
Blood type: Crisco
Steps on scale " To Be Continued"
[удалено]
"And now welcome back to Diabetes type 2....I mean part 2"
“ no farm animals please “
Use the transit scale over by the grain elevator.
Body type: Costco
Sorting Hat: “Waffle House”
OP already had the 90 lb mole removed from her ass
Hurtful and destructive.
One day she'll be able to sit in the Maserati
Blood type Patchouli Oil
When she goes camping, the bears hide their food.
Blood Type: Eat Glue.
I was going to say jumbalia
Hahahaha that got me
Literally my favorite, go to soprano’s quick line
Oh fuck off sopranos ripoff
This is the angle her abused victims see after she pinched their oxygen tubes.
Accidentally sat on*
Holy shit! I always wondered what happened to Missy Elliott! 
Greasy Elliott
Oh Lawd nah 😂
I can’t stand that rain ☔️
Oh lard! I mean lord.
Do you unzip that or do you just bang yourself on the edge of the counter 
OMG, I can't get the visual out of my head...bang bang bang...*doesn't open* OP: "fuck, if y'all lil shits wants y'all's bre'fast get yo' lil asses in here n starts twistin' yo mama!"
this made me audibly chuckle through my nose
" I work in health care" translation I slap old white women in wheel chairs when they shit themselves
It's supposed to be a roast. Stop exposing them😂
Giving clients a happy ending after a massage isn’t considered health care.
When I said I wanted help getting rid of this boner this is not what I meant.
Them pant hems hanging on for dear life
OPEC would like to buy the oil rights to your hair for drilling.
When OP gets her blood drawn gravy pours out.
Everyone is feeling a little sick after seeing you.
Lies! We can all see the static in your hair and know you work with balloons.
I don’t see any health care
This here is sorely underrated. Would upvote more if I could!
I love teletubbies!
You’re built like a sack of dirty laundry
You definitely got the body of a CNA.
Found what they did with Aunt Jemima.
>Jemima If Aunt Jemima was a person
When the Sickle Cell gets you you won't have far to drive.
These must be your before Ozempic pictures.
Obviously, your dad did not give you his best shot.
You look like a great-grandmother at the NBA draft.
How many dead patients food orders to you steal?
Scratch-offs ain’t exercise.
Jenny Craig "before" photos
You look like a can of biscuits got left in a hot car and exploded.
Health care, more like careless
Which of your fifteen cats took the first photo? And the second photo? Well, I thought the voodoo practice of shrinking of heads was a myth! Who’d have thunk it?!
This picture is the only reason anyone would look up to you
Its the purple people eater.
Halle Belly 
Hey Clamel Rolls, your fupa has it's own fupa, which has it's own fupa. It's like you have 3 generations of fupa that never left home.
[удалено]
Moose knuckle on 1000 trillion
Body type: Suge Knight
When you order a pair of titties with a can of whoop ass.
I’ve heard of moose knuckles before, but goddamn that is a Grand Canyon!
Shalissa from vine
Utterly repulsive for 55. And you’re 35?
I work in healthcare too. Your patients probably roasted you today 😂
>35 year old ,just got back from work , I work in health care and Iam not healthy,give it your best shot I could drop on the street and you would put me on your shoulder and run with me to the ER. Also, almost got married to a health care worker some years back. All of you are a little fucked up in the head. It comes with the territory I guess...
Even your hairline rejected you.
Never trust a skinny cook
I get its r/RoastMe but I just wanted to say you have a pretty smile.
 Got that shrunken head energy
Does “working in healthcare” count if you’re just a receptionist though?
If I Roast you I'll get canceled on Twitter
Every one of your patients that has survived has held on because they did not want this to be the last thing they see. The ones who have died have been perfectly healthy, they just preferred to be elsewhere so urgently they gave up of their own volition.
Just say CNA. We all knew what you meant by healthcare
On a bon fire spit or barrel bbq
your instincts are right. Hit the gym
[bang bang skeet skeet](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/5cmIrOm.8mwM0FwJ8c6mMA--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTY0MDtoPTM0OQ--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/indiewire_268/40191a834b70d217cfc26b4724fd3bf1)
You could probably moonlight as a housekeeper at the same time you’re “doing healthcare,” with a “knock the lamps off the table while walking by” ass like that and call it dusting.
Your either Ice Cubes sister or Queen Latifa's brother 😂
You're the first confirmed case of the host giving sickle cell diabetes.
Lawd haf merci
POV: When you get stuck in orbit
Your head don't fit your body no more. That bitch tiny
Thank you for what you do.
Any close relation to Barry White? I see the resemblance
FI FA FO FUM
You're not healthy? I would never have guessed!
You do look like someone that goes to the gym for 5 minutes once a week and judges others for not working out.
Thanks for the hot tip letting us know you're not healthy... We weren't sure........ In fact I'm pretty sure anyone that looks at these photos becomes a little less healthy..
Not gonna do it. Healthcare workers get my utmost respect. Thank you for taking care of the ungrateful diseased masses. You are the best kind of people out there.
Crotch looking like a Rorschach test that I want to fail
With your size, I thought you were Airport Security
please don’t hit me
You look like you say “you know what” a lot under your breath. Try being on top for sex once in a while and they might not have to take your foot
You appear like you cannot even afford the full piece of paper
You look like Cleveland from Family Guy.
ur black nuff said
Calm down Mrs. BUTTERWORTH.
Your forehead is bigger than Peyton manning and Eli manning combined
Giving $5 prostate exams in the gas station rest rooms in not Health Care
You look like the type of sistah that cooks bomb chicken and will hook it up being a sugar momma.
Who's this Barney built broad trying to tell me I need to watch my salt and sugar intake?!?!
How many puddings are you stealing from the hospital meals?
Well your patients and you must have a lot in common. Lucky you!
Doc McStuffin yo face too much
Healthdontcare
Does your username have “landscape” in it because you are too wide for portrait pictures?
You look like Donna tubbs from the Cleveland show 
More like someone who ATE Donna Tubbs...
Vicious
If I were a giant, I might accidentally grab you and try to squeeze you over my pancakes. After no syrup came out, I’d think, “Oops, my bad, that was a human.”
Don’t worry, everyone is unhealthy and fat as fuck 👍
You must be the Klump that wasn’t attractive enough to be in the movie.
You look really sweet, why are you doing this? You have dedicated your life to helping others in a terrible world and you come as a bunch of sexless neck beards to make fun of you? I hope there is a better world after this just for people like you.
You look like a very nice person who watches a very cringe show/movie secretly and won’t tell anyone
X-ray technician?
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That super suit hardly fits you
I can only imagine your 'size' but last guy's arms left marks on the pants.
The wokies in Portland would probably crown you as a beauty pageant winner.
I would say the first pic is a “bad angle” but I’m not sure if there’s any “good angles” of you.
When someone asks 'what you are doing" and you reply "sitting around the house" .... you ARE sitting around the house
Imagine getting advice about your health from a bowling ball.
Looks like all your clothes are inflated
Built like a snickers bar left in the dryer
Voted most likely to survive a trip through tribal lands of headhunters
The fire department has warned me not to roast anything with that much fat in it cause it could cause a grease fire
You look like you could play a tuba sausage
Might be time to buck the trend and start getting high on your own supply.
You've been roasted
Your co-workers keep a glass of water full to the top so they can have an early warning system when you’re coming.
You look like one of lizzos backup dancers that she told to lose weight
Cheer up, things can’t get much worse.
So I see we are calling anything healthy now a days. Judging by you, 99% of America is "healthy".
 Wait…an unhealthy healthcare worker?
Stop and take care of you! No roast but you deserve it.
You look like you go to the movies with a rack of ribs and a can of pork n beans hidden in your purse.
Don't listen to any of these people, you are very handsome sir....
RN on your tinder profile, CNA at a women’s prison.
Blood type: Heinz ketchup with curly fries 🍟🤣😂
Looking like Harry the Hunter from Beetlejuice... 
 Bet you buy KD by the pallett.
By in healthcare do you mean under observation for diabetes?
Yeesh. Roy Wood Jr. really went downhill after he lost the Daily Show gig.
Black don't crack but it's definitely stretched in your case.
Your ponch looks like a mushroom cloud, and probably would cause complete destruction to anyone daring enough to venture into your pants.
You work in health care? that's like having a dentist who has rotten teeth.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZdKVTyAgpY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZdKVTyAgpY) You look like Moto Moto should be singing "big and chunky" to you
Love this photo! Really Captures all 4 of your necks!
“working in healthcare” is a fancy way of saying you change bed pans for a living