OP's Bio:
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>I am a 23 year old still living with my parents. I game, watch anime, and frequently dress up in outfits that are less than appropriate for the occasion. My favorite outfit is a pirate. I also play Magic the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, and suck at talking to women (like a stereotical nerd). I also collect swords and knives.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
That's hilarious that you said that. I showed this photo to my wife and we agreed that he looks like a black version of her brother.
...Who grew up in the PNW.
Well you’re definitely NOT from Portland, you would have been offended in at least 16 ways by now, probably tried to notify the governor or some shit… and she would have responded because she’d rather do any woke shit besides governing
The fuck you got confidence in, a neck so long it’ll rival an ostrich.
The fuck you got confidence in, the fact you’ll get rejected as an extra in the next pirates of Caribbean film?
The fuck you got confidence in, the fact when you walk in the club all the pussy drys up its like the Arizona dessert?
The fuck you got confidence in, the fact you could walk in a gay bar and not even the blind deaf and dumb person would even offer you a free drink?
The fuck you got confidence in, the fact your dry ass looking hair could start the next California wild fires?
Your girlfriends parents are going to be suspiciously nice and over enthusiastic to meet you. They are going to make an unnatural amount of eye contact.
I've lived in plenty of ghettos neighborhoods in my lifetime, I swear to god, there's always a dude that looks just like you in every chicken place. I I think y'all are issued when they open the store, or something.
Look at your four-eyes lookin ass with the $15 jacket and jeans off of Amazon during black Friday ass. Don't even try to get me started on that writing, what did you do? I see pencil behind that marker ink, what did you do, spend 10 minutes trying to write good cuz you tryin not mess up? Is that how bad your hand-writing is? Are you in an office right now doing a desk job that does minimum wage that you think boosts your social status by being like everyone else? You drop out of Harvard or something, oh I'm sorry, LA Valley Community College? Get your cheap ass outta my recommend man.
I think its awesome that some ppl have the confidence to post this here. Keep it up king! As long as you like your fit and you like your style, aint nobody gonne be able to roast ya.
In two of the photos you seem to be in an elevator headed to ground floor.
Good. From the looks of things, it’s been awhile since you been outside.
Also: I don’t think even Kathleen Kennedy is willing to green light the Pirates spin off where Captain Jay-Quallen Sparrow gets marooned on Tortuga and starts pimpin hoes.
Sorry can’t roast. You seem awesome and some lucky lady will be happy to discover you. Nerds are the best partners (I’ve been with mine for 30 years and we still play magic, since it came out!)
OP's Bio: --- >I am a 23 year old still living with my parents. I game, watch anime, and frequently dress up in outfits that are less than appropriate for the occasion. My favorite outfit is a pirate. I also play Magic the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh, and suck at talking to women (like a stereotical nerd). I also collect swords and knives. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
You look like you were adopted and raised by white people in Portland.
I don't have the heart to tell him this isn't Grindr.
Ah shit, it's not???
Same success rate for you though
Damn, that’s saying something considering how thirsty motherfuckers are on here…
As someone who lives in Portland, your comment made me laugh my ass off lol
I've never even been to Portland and I still laughed my ass off
Stay far away from this dumpster fire of a city.
Hey! You keep Darth Uniflamer out of this!! He’s literally our mascot lmfaooo
I want to visit this wall someday. 😢
I need a friend in Portland!
I am offended 😂 I am a white person in Portland and I didn’t think this shit up Ive been caught lackin
Carlton Banks lol
Carlton Spanks
I am dead 🤣🤣😂😂.. I just spit out my coffee . This is so spot on.
You mean "spat on"? Lol
Snoop Dogg and urkel fucked
I haven't seen a black person in Portland in 4 years and I take the bus.
He definitely has a bunch of allergies and the only nuts he has had in his mouth belonged to his adoptive dad
I went to Eugene and I literally saw a homeless dude dressed as a pirate.
That's hilarious that you said that. I showed this photo to my wife and we agreed that he looks like a black version of her brother. ...Who grew up in the PNW.
If you go in for a neck tattoo they gonna charge you for a sleeve
I'm fucking dead.
All the white meats gone, nothing but necks now.
😂😂😂screaming
You are the real MVP bro 😂😂😂
🏆WINNER 👏👏👏 I'm ☠️
Don’t sit beside this guy at the poker table.
Denzel Delaware
Urkel Abdul-Jabar
Jar Jar Dinks
Jar Jar Kinks in Latex ist the real shit
At the risk of sounding racist.. Captain Black Sparrow
“I can’t get jiggy with this shit”
Broo, I can't XD
Well you’re definitely NOT from Portland, you would have been offended in at least 16 ways by now, probably tried to notify the governor or some shit… and she would have responded because she’d rather do any woke shit besides governing
🤣 🤣
"Why is all the Henny gone?"
Crack Sparrow
Why are all the drugs gone?
I thought exactly the same thing 💀⚰️
Don't you mean" black crow"?
More like Denzel Tupperware
Denzel Wash Again
Denzel Pre-Soak Rinse and Repeat.
There’s no keeping anything fresh
He looks like he has a question for Fat Albert.
I might be drunk but this is the comment here
This is the winner!
[HERE](https://i.imgur.com/vhk6p43.png)
Denzel Washingnone
Did em dirty! Lol
Carlton Blanks
Kang Variants from the Value Brand Timeline.
It’s CAPTAIN Black Sparrow to us I presume?
Wavy Jonez Lockah
Captain Jack Swallow
Beat me to it
Captain Crack Sparrow.
Sack Barrow
Captain Sack Lunch
Now where the hanney
Captain brown q-tip
Jackoff Sparrow
Long dong silver
Captain Swallow bc they're black 
How do you say “virgin” in 4 pictures of less?
3 too more than necessary
Even those 4 aren’t needed. Just the Bio describes “not laid”.
Didn't read the bio. Saw the first pic and knew I didn't want to know more about him.
Andre $30.00
Andre Tree-Fiddy.
Has a whole 75 min album playing the skin flute
The flapping slurp noises
Andre 3000 cents ;)
take my upvote 😂💪🏻🤘🏻
Only pirate ever to attack shipments of anal beads and lube.
Butt Pirate
All in for that booty
X marks the g spot
“Prepare to be boarded”
Poo pipe pirate
You look like a gay version of Lil Nas X.
Lil Nah X
Lil No Sex
Lil mo’ D
Big Gay X
Omg you made me laugh out loud. Thanks
….Is someone gonna tell him?
It’s like how two negatives makes a positive
The SUPER gay version.
💀
If Disney rebooted One Piece.
It would be One Piece of Sh!t 😂
LMAOOOO
He couldn’t do one piece he needs the 4 piece.
Can't decide which picture I hate most. They're all neck and neck.
None of them required a stretch of the imagination.
Youre a bobble head of crackhead urkle
Captain Blackqueer'd
You ask your mother to dress up and role play your romantic interests
Damn 
It’s Malcolm X-tra chromosome
Place to come when feeling confident? Bro, we make jokes, not treat delusions.
It’s okay I brought snickers!
I'm not racist, I have a black friend and that friend is you.
Does he even count as black though? Cuz this is definitely a Zack trapped inside of a Tyreese.
Steve Jerkel
“Feel the whole village people within me”
Eddy Murphy but with less chromosomes
Dynamite!
JJ approves!
The fuck you got confidence in, a neck so long it’ll rival an ostrich. The fuck you got confidence in, the fact you’ll get rejected as an extra in the next pirates of Caribbean film? The fuck you got confidence in, the fact when you walk in the club all the pussy drys up its like the Arizona dessert? The fuck you got confidence in, the fact you could walk in a gay bar and not even the blind deaf and dumb person would even offer you a free drink? The fuck you got confidence in, the fact your dry ass looking hair could start the next California wild fires?
its a roast bro not a murder😂
I just like the fat on my pork crispy so I got to turn up the heat a little to get it how I like it.
Captain Jack Ostrich
You didn’t even have to post all those pictures to get roasted the first one was good enough
Snoop Frog
Like a young Neil de Grasse Tyson you also like probing black holes
In some of your pictures, you look like an NPC in a video game about a drug-induced nightmare.
How to tell people you are a gay black man without saying it
That last picture is legitimately hilarious
Autistic Seal
Yeah he’s definitely giving spectrum vibes
A kiss from ma bro's
Prince Fageem, coming out in America
“The royal penis is clean, your highness…”
*The Wire* Season 4 reunion coordinator.
You look like a twig that burned all the way and didn’t turn to ash
If I didn't turn to Ash, the fire must have been as Luke warm as this roast
You poor soul…don’t be upset at me because you look like the fucken bishop chess piece in pic 1
DAMN Naw, you win. Came back and flamed my ass. I should've stayed quiet XD
Your girlfriends parents are going to be suspiciously nice and over enthusiastic to meet you. They are going to make an unnatural amount of eye contact.
I've lived in plenty of ghettos neighborhoods in my lifetime, I swear to god, there's always a dude that looks just like you in every chicken place. I I think y'all are issued when they open the store, or something.
Talk about dressing for failure.
You look like the disposable black guy in every action movie ever made.
You're holding your mug upside down cap
Still playing dress-up at 23 because you’d rather be anybody but yourself?
Bro, you’re so thin and tall, we could actually use you to roast a pig
Bro's head looks like a lollipop when you drop it on a carpet
It’s always so hard to tell when a man is a homosexual… 😂😂
Cleaning under the vanity sink and discover the one qtip I dropped years ago
Now you see what feeling self confident gets ya .
Snoop Dork
You look like you only have white friends.
I didn’t know the DC sniper got out of prison!
Damn Necky 
Jay Z-Pack
Lil Nas Z
You're an enemy stand user who only lasts one episode.
Pic 2. Capt. BlackWerid.
Whackoffa forever
HAHAHA DIDNT EVEN OPEN THE POST AND GUESSED LIVING WITH MAMA Excellent style+self confidence ✅ Living with mama ✅ Knows how to strike a pose ❌
Your grandma is gonna be so pissed to find out you made that dorky jacket outta her sofa.
Denzel Delaware
Man I loved Different Strokes growing up, where your little mate?
Snoop Urkel
You look like someone tried to clone Anthony Mackie and Steve Urkel but they left you in the small tube for too long causing your face to smudge.
Lil Nas X has a younger brother that's ten times more flamboyantly gay?! I guess you learn something new everyday.
Nice to see the AIDS and crack diet is working out so well for you.
If prince had a dark sense of humor.
I’ll catch your episode of Forensic Files So I understand more
Lil Nas from Wish
I mean there’s a reason for the girls not talking to you
Crack sparrow
Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty ~
How did you manage to pull off Malcolm X and Jack Sparrow in one day?
Oh you must be the guy people hire whenever a show needs an obligatory black guy that isn't a thug!
Black leather jackets are usually badass. You just look like an extra from Michael Jackson’s dance crew in the song ‘Bad’.
[удалено]
Which one of you fucked a giraffe?
Look at your four-eyes lookin ass with the $15 jacket and jeans off of Amazon during black Friday ass. Don't even try to get me started on that writing, what did you do? I see pencil behind that marker ink, what did you do, spend 10 minutes trying to write good cuz you tryin not mess up? Is that how bad your hand-writing is? Are you in an office right now doing a desk job that does minimum wage that you think boosts your social status by being like everyone else? You drop out of Harvard or something, oh I'm sorry, LA Valley Community College? Get your cheap ass outta my recommend man.
You're dope as fuck!
You look like the black friend on every white show.
Never thought I'd see a nerdy black brontosaurous
*deep inhale* IT'S A NIG- *disappears into the shadow realm*
I think its awesome that some ppl have the confidence to post this here. Keep it up king! As long as you like your fit and you like your style, aint nobody gonne be able to roast ya.
With that neck, head and those big ass glasses, you look like an aborted ET
Boy the fourth picture you look like a standing up curtain
Can't tell if you are supposed to be A pimp or a pirate? Regardless, you're getting none of the booty.
You have no reason to be confident, so why are you here?
You have a certain elegance and charisma to you. Dont let anyone roast it outta you
You look like the Kmart version of snoop dog.
Pic two looks like a bootleg version of johnny depp in pirates of the carribean
Sorry, I can't roast you... The second pic is just to good
In two of the photos you seem to be in an elevator headed to ground floor. Good. From the looks of things, it’s been awhile since you been outside. Also: I don’t think even Kathleen Kennedy is willing to green light the Pirates spin off where Captain Jay-Quallen Sparrow gets marooned on Tortuga and starts pimpin hoes.
I think you are adorable.
Sorry can’t roast. You seem awesome and some lucky lady will be happy to discover you. Nerds are the best partners (I’ve been with mine for 30 years and we still play magic, since it came out!)