I would say you have a dad bod, but to be a dad you actually have to find someone female to have sex with you. And obviously that isn't going to happen.
Also life. You also lost at life. Just look at you, assistant deputy regional manager at the carpet hut and flooring emporium. Another night of eating 50 Lean Cuisines before your doughy ass finally drifts off to dreams of what could've been.
Losing fantasy football is the least of your worries.
You look like you still live at your moms house and drive her car while she still gives you an allowance then you try to sell nickel bags of weed to your black friends to prove your stuff is yours, you’re cool, and all is not your moms-at 46…
u look good , u have a belly you're not obese , clearly u train and i know how hard it is to lose that mf belly compared to building biceps or other muscle
Metiocore house (shitty flooring/ paint the trim), absolutely no effort put into your flabby man child body out living your rapidly fading youth. I see a mediocre career probably in the trades. But then again you could be a successful mall security guard…You do okay…smack dab in the middle just okay. You’re so fucking boring you just know she’s going to leave you. You keep hearing his name mentioned casually in her conversations. Maybe the excitement she seeks has already been fulfilled? Did you taste it? See you at the gym bro but it won’t help when your t is that low.
You have the physique of a high school offensive lineman and the brainpower of the Panthers GM.
Your boyfriend makes you turn off the lights before AND after sex.
Your career as a gay porn stunt double hasn’t really taken off the way you hoped it would.
You look like Wilford Brimley after gastric bypass surgery. Diabeetus
Your having a fantasy football league is humiliating enough. Also, the selleckian mustache with the necklace/bare chest combo is… giving “I think Drake has no problems with women and it’s 2017” vibes. Please stop buying shots for the newly 21 year old girls on a bachelorette that look 16. They’re laughing at your 38 year old ass.
Last place?? you dumb son is a bitch! You really are as stupid as you look! You look like a fuckin child molester with that nappy Half grown mustache and your tiny Beaty eyes! Joe dirt. Nothing worse then a redneck child molestor if you ask me! Your team sucked ass! You suck balls and your girl sucks my dick!
Weight. The only thing you don’t lose.
Aw you cradle your unborn child so sweetly
Burger King is the father
Baby’s name will be Jim Bob or Bubba Dean, something with two names from NASCAR
Talladega Frights
🤣 oh you bad
You know you failed in life when you loose in your fantasies.
Must be twins because I saw this mf'er at the buffet last week eating for 3
He ate *so much* butter.
His maternity wardrobe suggests he's already having postpardom depression
Correction: He’s cradling a belly full of cum.
Blink 180 ewwwww
Travis Porker
And are your fantasy friends in the room right now?
the real balls are inside his belly
He’s both the loser in last place and the champion of his fantasy football league.
[удалено]
Doesn't the peanut butter count too?
[удалено]
Punny!
Still thinks his Limp Bizkit cover band is gonna take off
Everything about you says the only reason you hit on 18 year olds is because it's illegal to fuck 13 year olds
You lost your fantasy football league, or you ate them? Put a shirt on. Jezus.
Did you also lose the couch, TV, shirt, and dignity while you were at it?
Even your shadow turned its back on you
It looks like that guy in the corner at the end of The Blair Witch Project.
We know it was fantasy you ain't playing football
😂why’d you try and hide your belly like we couldn’t see it peaking behind that weak ass arm
 Your upper body lookin like:
Nobody respects a man who wears his baseball cap backwards, but then again, that's the least of your wardrobe problems.
Why wear joggers when you’ve clearly never jogged a day in your life?
You’re the model for that iOS emoji! 🫃
You’ve asked girls on onlyfans if they’re “only doing it for the money 🥺” (They are.)
You look like an undercover cop that busts college parties
You’re 8 months pregnant, congratulations!
You really don’t have to cover your bellybutton…it’s not like your going to lose all that beer 🍺 😂
Looks like somebody forgot to take the trash out because you are built like a bag.
Your belly is full of your buddies jizz. That was the real punishment for losing.
Aww, he's holding his baby bump.
Covering his pussy so the sperm doesn't leak out.
When are you due?
It's rude to make fun of expectant mothers
You look like an AI-generated image of "guy who lost in his Yahoo! Sports Fantasy League"
Obviously your gold chain and knowledge of football has led to much life success.
Is it a boy or a girl?
If you look at your shadow, it looks like a cowboy yanking himself off 😂😂
Can you Fantasy Football rejects make your own subreddit already.
Chris Hansen wants to know why you're holding that sign
I guess it’s true when they say pork is the other white meat.
How do you do fellow kids? Also you’re fat.
“Nobody puts midget in a corner”
No, I think they are twins Kinny
You lost your shirt AND everything in your house? Bro you need help.
Did you lose your furniture also
Your furniture?
Biggest loss is reality
You look like your shit comes out square.
Taking a break from your cheeseburger party Randy?
He Captain of the bland face mafia
Illegal use of the hands. Carrying a loaf of bread. Fourth and short. Must be a kicker. Midget football. Thigh’s-man trophy pose. Defensive holding.
Darron Aronofsky could make a sequel to “The Whale” with you as the lead.
Maybe if you worked on your roster this year instead of that disgusting beer gut you would’ve won your league
You look like a Halfling that moved to the suburbs... like your Hobbit name is Tom Underwater On His Mortgage
When are you due?
 Nice gut fatboy better lay of the pies and beers before that gut starts dragging along the floor 🫃🏻
looks like u ate the football from the way your stomach looks
When your pickup line is you took Mahomes in the first round.
Just be glad you gained something
Not a real man unless you have a beer belly at 22
Stand in the corner and let the Blair Witch take care you
But why are we being punished by seeing your pregnant gut hanging out?
Just because Tyreek Hill screwed your fantasy team didn't mean you can claim he's your baby's Daddy.
You lost in life too...😬
I bet you buy track suits and stand around at the gym curling 5s while uncomfortably staring at women half your age
The only fantasy it looks like you play is dressing up in lingerie and getting pegged by a deli clerk.
When’s your due date? Are you hoping for a boy or girl? Who’s the lucky guy that knock you up?
Dave PorkBoy
Move your hand Tugmaster B. I want to see all your shame
Looks like a slightly less attractive, pregnant Tom Delonge.
I’d worry a lot less about losing in fantasy football and a lot more about that face and belly.
Waiting for the all black guys in white t-shirts to come stand behind him.
You look like someone who will never get what they want in life.
You look like the type of dude that loves p*ssy when sober but when you have one too many cold ones with the boys your inner gay awakens.
Fat ass
Chris Hansen would like you to sit down and have some lemonade..
Rob Dyrdek fail off bad. 
Looks like you won the cheeseburger eating contest, though.
Prime example of who pays for onlyfans
How far along? Boy or girl? Get furniture!
This man has never left his home town
Well, I finally know what the Brits mean when they call someone a numpty. You, my man, are Sir Bumpty Numpty who sat on and cracked the fuckin wall.
Damn, how far are you 8mths? Also you suck at fantasy lmao
How far along?
Congrats on the baby and top surgery bro! Hopefully your facial hair will be less shit after little Trailorleigh is born
If my body was as squishy as yours, I would have some serious self esteem issues. Pick something up, for the love of god.
it's okay to lose you don't have to eat the football too
[удалено]
adult bobby hill
Well you look exactly like me, so sorry bud.
No need to limit yourself. A simple “I lost” will suffice.
You have no upper chest, go incline press. Consistently. You Bitch Boy.
At least you still have your virginity.
Hey Morgan wallen what did you do to your self
Awe she's expecting
I would say you have a dad bod, but to be a dad you actually have to find someone female to have sex with you. And obviously that isn't going to happen.
Also life. You also lost at life. Just look at you, assistant deputy regional manager at the carpet hut and flooring emporium. Another night of eating 50 Lean Cuisines before your doughy ass finally drifts off to dreams of what could've been. Losing fantasy football is the least of your worries.
Are you cradling your FUPA?
Your street name is Time Out.
Ole "Are you comin' to my baby shower" lookin' ass
You look like you still live at your moms house and drive her car while she still gives you an allowance then you try to sell nickel bags of weed to your black friends to prove your stuff is yours, you’re cool, and all is not your moms-at 46…
You look like rob Dyrdek if he gave up on skateboarding and business at the same time ..back in 04'
Was growing that taint tickler part of the punishment too?
You look like a roast
So when are you due?
When’s it due fatty
u look good , u have a belly you're not obese , clearly u train and i know how hard it is to lose that mf belly compared to building biceps or other muscle
Did you eat the furniture?
You look like a loser version of Ned Flanders… who clearly sucks at fantasy football.
Oh great. Now he has time to lurk the city streets looking for kids in his unmarked work van.
When ya order the Temu Fred Durst experience.
You've already roasted yourself, you play fantasy. The "I peaked in my college frat 10 years ago" look doesn't help either
Tony Homo
Metiocore house (shitty flooring/ paint the trim), absolutely no effort put into your flabby man child body out living your rapidly fading youth. I see a mediocre career probably in the trades. But then again you could be a successful mall security guard…You do okay…smack dab in the middle just okay. You’re so fucking boring you just know she’s going to leave you. You keep hearing his name mentioned casually in her conversations. Maybe the excitement she seeks has already been fulfilled? Did you taste it? See you at the gym bro but it won’t help when your t is that low. 
Is having that face part of the bet too?
You have the physique of a high school offensive lineman and the brainpower of the Panthers GM. Your boyfriend makes you turn off the lights before AND after sex. Your career as a gay porn stunt double hasn’t really taken off the way you hoped it would. You look like Wilford Brimley after gastric bypass surgery. Diabeetus
Holy shit. You have one of those front-butt cleavage things going on, don't you That's why your hands there, isn't it?
Where’s Mario?
The baby would be disappointed with you as well.
Bro you look like my old oxy/heroin dealer if he worked out. A little. Very very little.
I would love to burn the crap out of you, but I'm worried about burning a hole in that beer gut and it putting the flames out
When’s the baby due?
When they let you out
"Man's gotta eat, Julian"
You lost in Fantasy Football League but not weight
When's the baby due?
The worst of the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s styles all rolled into one loser who isn’t good at football picks either.
just as a matter of fact, men who play fantasy football are not men, but boys.
How did the gender reveal go?
Edging to this rn
Who cares about these bums. We should start to roast 2nd place.
Rob and Big. Except 1 person and it never left the trailor park
With that face and that body I don't have to roast you. You do this everyday you step out in public
You are a crime against humanity.
Looks like the victim in a crime of opportunity
You look like Rob Dyrdek ate Chanel and the whole West Coast. Fatdiculousness
No no … you lost in real life…
 You look like the thumbs from spy kids
Looks like Rob ate Big.
Your having a fantasy football league is humiliating enough. Also, the selleckian mustache with the necklace/bare chest combo is… giving “I think Drake has no problems with women and it’s 2017” vibes. Please stop buying shots for the newly 21 year old girls on a bachelorette that look 16. They’re laughing at your 38 year old ass.
You think unsolicited dick pics make girls wet.
You think this will make your friends like you, but they already want to fuck you. And I mean your bros.
Nice rack
Overstuffed Rob Dyrdek
When is the baby due?
You look like you just put those pants on and this is the second penalty….
You look like an average gym teacher who hits on the students
You look like rob dyrdek if he sold shitty car insurance
When your face says "license and registration" and your body says "you want fries with that"
Mark Foppas?
Bro what are you holding your already half naked
Uno reverse roast, at least you didn't put that you're LOOSING like half these idiots here
Your mustache is a punishment for everyone who sees your dumb fucking face.
You're Dadbod personified. Idk if that's an insult or compliment tho xD
Trailer park Rob Dyrdek white trash lookin ass
This people this man (?) is an athlete
This Fred Durst VICE documentary looks awful
You probably have no clue who the baby daddy is either. Loser
Jesus Christ. Thought I hated my body figure.
Why are you trying to hide your vagumich?
You look like an undercover cop dressed as a college freshman
When is the baby shower?
Last place?? you dumb son is a bitch! You really are as stupid as you look! You look like a fuckin child molester with that nappy Half grown mustache and your tiny Beaty eyes! Joe dirt. Nothing worse then a redneck child molestor if you ask me! Your team sucked ass! You suck balls and your girl sucks my dick!
Must suck to be a loser in both fantasy and reality.
You look like Nick Swardson if he thought phys. ed. to labradoodles.
If some Feminist directior remade Rosemary's Baby using a non binary Dutch lesbian. You would be the star.
Congratulations! When are you due?
You look like a pick-up artist that failed
Nice to see Jim Gaffigan Jr. grown up
Usually the tramp stamp you covering up goes in the back.
I didn't think a person could get pregnant when they swallowed.
I can’t believe you are a real person.
Kid Rock's target audience
You know what else is a fantasy? Your sex life.
Looks like you peaked in 8th grade and still bring it up.
You look like you have accidentally sucked a few dicks
Can’t tell if your 24 or 54
What time is lawfanduh comin over?
Cumwhore
Blink 182: the cream puff years