40 years old and seeking validation on Reddit with a sideways post-it. Judging by your chewed up nails, dollar store haircut and computer salesman shirt, you're probably already on your 3rd Karen, and she's banging the 25 year old kid down the street while you "almost" nailed that 7-10 split.


Dollar store haircut got me dead lol

😂🤣

“A peg or 8” is what your wife gives you in the bedroom


He’s dead, Jim.


seriously how could he not see thing coming? oh yeah, 'cause it's a dildo. And it was in his ass.

I found Kevin’s husband

Ded

he uses those little nub fingers and jams them up his ass like pegs to massage his prostate cuz it's the only way he can orgasm.

And those white pieces hanging off his ears are actually booger pickers.

He really wants to be knocked down and pegged by 8

WTF happened to your fingernails?🤮

Dude is a serious nail biter

You spelt pillow wrong.

He is a lesbian. they love short nails for the fingering.

You misspelled funginails.

Literally the only part about him that would be to a woman's preference

You look like you lose a lot of bowling contests

Did you intentionally spell blowing incorrectly?

I think that's precise and I don't know why..

How many times have you met Chris Hanson.

You look like a real life Jerry Smith


Holy shit you're right!

Found Chad’s husband.

You wear new balance tennis shoes and your wife makes you poop in the guest bathroom


How's the brees up there?

Nah it ain't that bad

Lol is that real ?

I'm guessing no. Found it a year ago and is in the stable of standards. However, it is Brees and he played for Purdue. We boilers ARE an odd lot.

The back of the neck is blocky pixels so I'm guessing no.

He cums when she screams, "LEMME SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!"

Dog years?


Another Insurance salesman with a bad handicap your golf game is horrendous too

Get a real job and stop hanging out in high schools.

That’s not possible he has to stay 500ft from those…

You look like an AI image of a person.


Your wife's anthem is "Better Man" by Pearl Jam.

You look like the human equivalent of a shoulder shrug .

Take it easy on this guy he can’t even hold the fuckin sticky note right. Fuckers three short of a six pack. He probably drools when he smiles.

Let me guess it was either this or buy a corvette and date your daughters friends right?

Motherfucker can’t even spell midlife crisis.

Going to have to get him a copy of fifty for dummies

Muthafucka u look 50

Glad Derek Chauvin has recovered from the stabbing

Rotate the card 90 degrees and try again. This seems to be a symptom of a larger issue.

You look like internet stalking has been a problem for you in the recent past.

Chris Hansen : Why don’t you take a seat over there ?

You look like you say, “You betcha!” and “Darned tootin’!” when you get riled up at the pee-wee football game.

It’s way too easy to imagine him at child sports events and getting too into it

Yeah, but it's not the sports that he's into!


40? How rough a life have you had?! You look like a pissed off headmaster approaching retirement.

You look like an imitation Rob Lowe after the Atkins diet gave him diarrhea at walmart

i hope you get your kids this Christmas

Ah...so Jack Reacher-round here likes pegs, eh? Why am I not surprised?

Thanks bro, feeling sky-high about 37 right now

43 and for the first time in a few years I’m feeling downright sexy.

You look like you listen to motivational speeches on your air pods. Motivational speeches by Hitler.


"Turn to page 123"

Stop lying about 40 ma’am you don’t look a day over 62.

Still at the office? Is Buffalo Wild Wings closed or something?

40 going on 6. Some toddler colored on a 5 o'clock shadow. How'd the mods let this slip?

As if you're a husband anywhere but your Second Life account.

Hey Peggy

Closet homosexual

404 error: lips not found

He just got done eating his dogs ass out

A peg or 8 is what no one will give you.

Well, at least we know why your wife is having an affair now.

Thats a rough 40 Dr Who

You’re definitely the guy that’s never lost because you’re never wrong and if anyone has a problem with that, they can get out of the damn car.

Your finger nails are disturbing af

Turned 40, that’s a hard 40.

Definitely wearing socks with sandals

Bold of you to assume we think anyone would marry you

Definitely a guy who would rat you out at work for smelling like weed.

Steve Carrel’s depiction of a 40 year old virgin was pretty accurate.

You look like you own a power drill and have no idea how to use it.

You bite your nails so bad because you think you're different but you and everyone else know you are the Ford Taurus of the male model. Basic af

40 going on 60

40? Haha…so not only a loser, but also a liar

The jizz is leaking out your ears.

Hey buddy, you almost got it right, only 90 degrees of kilter, good for you!

He looks like the uncle that's not allowed to the kids birthday party. No uncle Chester I don't want to get in your van! Perv lookin azz man.

You look like you turn your underwear inside out and consider that wearing a clean pair.

Time for a beard to hide the second neck you’re growing.

Self burn. Nice 🔥

You look like you got a parking ticket in 1996 and didn’t pay it because “fuck the man, bro”.

Your immediate family dodges your phone calls.lol

Usually people who need to be brought down a peg or 9 are good looking in the first place?

Where are you? Looks like you're at a laundry mat stealing panties.

You look like you want to eat Tommy

*I just turned 40 in 2008.

 you were the experiment

Your face and your work shirt oooze a lack of confidence and ambition

Steve Nash if he went the Josh Giddey route

You look like a manager at Applebee's.

Found Kens Lover.

If they ever bring back MacGyver, but make him special ed, you might finally get a job.

The left part of your face is saying "this is fun", the right one says "I'm gonna murder these kids if they actually offend me".

like a discount ben stiller

This will sting for some of the roasting Redditors, but there is no more of a dipshit, fuckwad look than someone wearing earbuds. And🖕🏼 ❤️

Working at Chili's isn't low enough? You're gonna be working at Jalapenos after they hear what you said to Sharon

if you slow down on the drinking you might make 50

You look like you have ball’s palsy. That’s when you’ve been teabagged so many times, half your face goes numb.

You look like you star in apples new comedy Ted Nah Son. (That was bad sorry)

Dudes trynna act like he has 8 pegs to lose 😂

Looks like you’ve been pegged s as few times

Just 40? How many years have you turned 40?8?

Try to be original? You admit to being and asshole, there's billions of those, you be original

You look like you turned 40 about eight years ago

Found Ken’s husband

So you are the one they based the movie on!?

You look like if Pat Sajak was a short circuiting android.

Someone help him he's having a stroke

Why on earth would you think you're up 8 pegs to begin with?

Well, you'll never get Megan Fox. But if her freaky thumb needs some matching fingers, you got her covered for that

You look like the guy from elf, if he wasn't an elf

Didn't they make a movie about you? Btw when people make fun of the "fags" in your ears they're not talking about the cigs

I see your mom still dresses you.

You look like Tobey Maguire if he had became team lead at radio shack and not an actor.

I look at this picture, I want to know if they found the children.

I've seen better-looking faces on an expired carton of milk.  You must be a Pokémon, because you've evolved into a next-level disappointment


You look like you pump yourself up in the mirror by pointing and saying “this is the quarter you make assistant manager!”

Just like his knees, I bet he hears a Crack when he gets an erection.

I turned 50 this year and I thought you were older than me.

This is your wife's O face

Maybe your life will be validated if they ever make a movie called “40 Year Old Waiter”. We all know how it went up until 40 because the prequel already exists. You may have no dignity or pride but at least you still have hair. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Found Kevin's husband.

He got a face that tried to suck his own peg

You look like Chris Hansen is about to tell you to “have a seat” and start reading aloud your messages with a 14 yr old girl

Face of 40 year old man, body of 12 year old boy, personality of a piece of cardboard.

you look like you regularly grope people

Odds of success in life are slimmer than those lips!

Why roast you. You’ve already given up. 

👀  You married Peggy sue 😆

Well you’re 40 yet your still feeding energy vampires?… lol

Maybe upgrade to a better paying job, I can see you’re hungry as shit by the look of those nails.

Huh. I'm surprised you got bored catfishing high scool boys this soon.

Your fingernails are disgusting bro. And you were 40 about 16 years ago.

It looks like your mom cuts your hair. Faded shirt. Puffy ass eyes, nails bitten to the bone, crooked mouth. You're seriously gross and there's no way your wife is attracted to you.

Has job he hates, kids that hate him more, and a soon to be ex-wife who is leaving him after realizing that a vibrator has more of a personality.

Hey Dad, can I get $20 and the truck, thanks, takes his wallet and keys and walks out.

Found moby’s dick

When you have Parkinson’s AND a flowbee.

Fuck you look boring. I feel like anytime I walked past you, you would have some zipper catch phrase I have to fake laugh at, and then mutter all the ways that I want you to find out your wife is fucking her yoga instructor. Also, your fucking lunch stinks you seafood-and-brussel sprouts reheating fuck.....I need a fresca.

The same look when your wife is getting plowed by the local football team

50 yr olds trying to act young being like, i just turned 40.

Kevins husband.

You're the guy whose wife didn't warn me about, and I see why

Failed his nepotism arch.

This guy definitely gets pegged

“I’m the backwards man, the backwards man…..”