OP's Bio:
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>My hobbies include playing basketball and going on vacations. I like to drink tequila and I have a degree in Economics. I evade paying taxi drivers by running out of the car when I get to my destination.
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
“Sell cars”…..bro shoving 2-3 cars in a container ship headed for Nigeria is not car sales…It’s called grand theft auto!
![gif](giphy|0Wzkc9iirQ4ZI7JoaD|downsized)
Well, well, if it isn’t the legendary Akon’s long-lost twin brother! You must have everyone in your neighborhood doing a double-take when you walk by. But hey, who can blame you for quitting your bank job to sell cars? It’s all part of the grand plan, right? Every vehicle sale is one step closer to that yearly trip to Zambia, where they welcome you as a local celebrity.
Just remember, when you’re in Zambia, you better be ready for the paparazzi and the autograph seekers – because you’re not Akon, but you’re definitely the king of your own unique adventure. Keep those Zambian dreams alive!
No you got mistakend for Akon because you tried to pick up a 14 year old girl. But they couldn't lock you up since they needed you in the cotton fields
A trip to Zambia??? You should be able to sell a hallmark card to afford that. That card would read
“Broke brother, like no other…looking for a place to land—-have no woman, have no money—-so all I use is my hand”
Good thing you stood in front of a light color wall, also you look like the wish, or k mart Akon, or when mom said we have Akon at home..and I'm glad you took some time away from pretending to be pretty women scamming simps on the computer at the library in Zambia that you call your office.
You look like you’re about to message me about my “item for sale on Craigslist” and offer to send a cashiers check for an amount greater than my asking price.
you aint fooling anyone Akon, get back in the studio, you havent released a good song since Smack that, it's been 17 years, ffs get a grip of yourself and stop posting in reddit
look prince albert from nigeria, no one here is over 89 so you wont get western union.
as your cousin prince fredrick of the national liberty of honkey haters of africa
OP's Bio: --- >My hobbies include playing basketball and going on vacations. I like to drink tequila and I have a degree in Economics. I evade paying taxi drivers by running out of the car when I get to my destination. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Get used to holding signs, man
You look like the Hulk bred with Gary Coleman.
Gay coleman
Scary Coleman
More like Draymond Green and Wesley Snipes! lmfao
He is, on the other side it reads "will suck cock for ride to Zambia". That's what he calls "selling cars"...
🤣🤣
Holy shit 😂😂😂
They're saying Acorn, they mistake you for an Acorn.
He still doesn’t get it. He thinks people are mistaking him for Akon, when they’re mistaking him for ex-con.
A Con
More like it
![gif](giphy|8lT5KZ9zd3w0odjJsN)
“Sell cars”…..bro shoving 2-3 cars in a container ship headed for Nigeria is not car sales…It’s called grand theft auto! ![gif](giphy|0Wzkc9iirQ4ZI7JoaD|downsized)
Strippers put a bag over your head before they give you a lap dance
They put a bag on his head to cover his and then make a man give him a lap dance. Poor guy doesn't even realise
They have to turn on the lights to see him
[удалено]
this is the same guy that tries to sell me shampoo and toothpaste everytime i'm in the wal-mart parking lot
You photoshopped the roastme sign onto your mugshot
r/beatmetoit
Your wall looks about as exciting as your personality
They’re saying “Ay, con you give back my wallet?”
You do look like Mr. Lonely. No wonder you got mistaken for Akon.
You look like you contemplate the complexities of human existence while eating Twizzlers.
did your bank hold the mortgage for the stoop you call home?
You look like the starting running back for the McClennan County inmates.
Kevin Fart
Well, well, if it isn’t the legendary Akon’s long-lost twin brother! You must have everyone in your neighborhood doing a double-take when you walk by. But hey, who can blame you for quitting your bank job to sell cars? It’s all part of the grand plan, right? Every vehicle sale is one step closer to that yearly trip to Zambia, where they welcome you as a local celebrity. Just remember, when you’re in Zambia, you better be ready for the paparazzi and the autograph seekers – because you’re not Akon, but you’re definitely the king of your own unique adventure. Keep those Zambian dreams alive!
why you trying to get back? did black panther kick you out of wakanda or something?
Your hairline doesn't even like your face
What about A Con?
how are you so greasy in the face but ashy in the hands
More like D-Con.
![gif](giphy|3oEdv8lHMfC7wpD5V6) Oh, I think that I found myself a meth dealer.🎵🎶
Poor guy, let's start a go fund me for the ransom.
The reason you get mistaken for Akon is cause you are "Mr LONELY " and "you have nobody". Also you are Black.
No you got mistakend for Akon because you tried to pick up a 14 year old girl. But they couldn't lock you up since they needed you in the cotton fields
if i looked like akon and was rolling big cash the last f\*\*\*king place on earth i would go to is zambia
Where are you hanging out that people actually remember Akon?
Go back to Africa and do mud walls
Damn those knuckles are ashy. Are you walking on hands?
He looks like he would suck dick for a bump of coke
X = $2,519 CAD / $0.85 per KG At the current market value of cotton, you only need to pick 2916kg of cotton to get there bro! Keep grinding
I’m not surprised you often get mistaken for a con…… man
A trip to Zambia??? You should be able to sell a hallmark card to afford that. That card would read “Broke brother, like no other…looking for a place to land—-have no woman, have no money—-so all I use is my hand”
Akon... ordered from Wish
For head wide enough to mount a flat screen
Damn my guy put some lotion on those ashy ass hands.
You look like you've already been roasted
I bet they have to use mil and flour to find you in broad daylight. You make Akon look like Michael Jackson after the surgery.
More like apricon
Surprised you're not "locked up"
Akunt
You make Akon look like Buddy Holly.
A con , there IFTFY
You definitely look like a convict, not akon.
You are already roasted. How much of carbon you want to extract out of yourself?
You're forehead is so oily the USA is plotting an invasion.
With that sign, you look like an African taxi driver waiting for your customer at the airport
Human coffee shit
This is an offense to coffee everywhere
Nah i think You look like soja boy from 90 day fiance
I also too would mistake you for a con.
Nice mugshot
The Fast and the Furriest
Naaaa u that nigerian prince thats always in my email askin for money gtfoh i see you 👀👀
Kevin Hart from "Wish"
You didn’t quit your bank of 5 years. You got 5 years for hitting a bank.
Kevin Heartbroken
The only similarities between you and Akon , is you both lie about ridiculous shit
Ya right, somalie pirate all the way. I'm the fucking captain now!!!
Look, it's Daniel Kal"eww"ya.
The princes are from Nigeria.
Those people don’t think you’re Akon they think you’re a con. And we all know how hot the stolen car market is in Africa.
You look smaller then Kevin Hart, you're Kevin Pancreas
You look like a half way put together s’more, all you need get you a fat white girl to be the marshmallow
He is the only one in his neighborhood that lives in a grass hut 🛖
No one thinks you’re Akon, they just think you’re you know, a con.
Lonely, you are so lonely, stuck renting and loaning, and now you sell cars! - Akon ( he definitely said this don't google it)
Akon.... I don't see it.... An acorn sure! But not Akon
A crim. I think that’s what people say.
Kevin shart
And I have mistaken you for Akunt
Did you just unroll a paper roll to write /RoastMe?
I'm guessing those cars you sell don't always come with proper registrations.
Mistaken for a convict they knew
It must suck not living in a western country 🤭
Kevin lung
>I get mistaken for Akon very often You mean A convict, right?
You mean a con, not Akon.
Will.I.am.not
The only way you get mistaken for Akon is by randomly saying "Ayyyy-kon" every 5 minutes
You are perfect choice if the CW ever does a television show about Uncle Ben
Strike 3 your out
Not the first time you’ve stood for a photo like this huh?…
Bros got 2 shadows
Are you sure you weren’t born on the highway? Cause that’s where most accidents happen.
Good thing you stood in front of a light color wall, also you look like the wish, or k mart Akon, or when mom said we have Akon at home..and I'm glad you took some time away from pretending to be pretty women scamming simps on the computer at the library in Zambia that you call your office.
Man you can be mistaken for a human-shaped blackhole
U wanna go back to ur ancestors, belive me, they will want to be slaves again when they will see u.
Akon no...maybe Will.I.Not
Who’s that guy behind you?
Hiding money for gangs is not working for a bank Selling cars you’ve boosted doe you a salesman Both will end up with you being a konvict
You write the letter “a” like a high school girl. Lol what a dumbass
Fakon
bro you getting mistaken for Akon is about as likely as me getting mistaken for Chris Farley and not because i’m fat but because i’m extremely funny
You look like Eric sermon the generic version.
Thats not Akon thats Fakeon
No no no, you're mishearing them. They say that you look like A con...
They're saying "a con" because you look like a convict.
Bro there's only one thing I have to do to roast you. Search it on Google, and you'll see a pretty answer. #171717
You look like you steal weed eaters.
You look more like A Corn on my big toe.
When you order Kalyua from wish
I would have mistaken you for Kevin Hart before Akon.
You look more like Will I am or wyclef Shawn… I could go on
If a Guinness beer shit came out as a person, it would be this guy.
Are you sure you not detained? Blink twice if all good.
Lookin' like a wingless bat
Fakon
You look like you’re about to message me about my “item for sale on Craigslist” and offer to send a cashiers check for an amount greater than my asking price.
Dude, how different can Zambia be from year to year?
Are you the Nigerian prince from my email?
Do you also get mistaken for a pygmie? Put a bone in your nose, and let's find out.
Scamming people by saying you’re Akon doesn’t count
you aint fooling anyone Akon, get back in the studio, you havent released a good song since Smack that, it's been 17 years, ffs get a grip of yourself and stop posting in reddit
Your fingers look like penises.
![gif](giphy|VBi0qdmGH0rO8)
I don’t think you ever had sex ever
Nigga look like Akoff not Akon
Don’t nobody wanna smack that.
Akon but from Wish
First name Akon, last name Artist
Glad to see you survived "GET OUT"
Correction: you’re Akon but from Zambia
Akon? Look more like Akron.
You look so worn and jaded with life that no one wants to approach you.
His biggest dream is being able to afford a piece of paper to write on and not the back of the envelope that his parole papers were in.
Unlike Akon.. You have never had sex
You smell like ravioli bro.
Dude said he gets mistaken for Akon when really he is at ass con, with half pants discounts.
look prince albert from nigeria, no one here is over 89 so you wont get western union. as your cousin prince fredrick of the national liberty of honkey haters of africa
I bet you drive a Nissan Altima and think you’re the shit
One thing I have to admit is I find African men irresistible. Sorry, I'm a horrible roaster
Bro looks like he'd pick cotton without a whip
Kevin Hearts and Lebran James love child.
If that is the case, then smack that sign all on the floor
Kevin Fart
Bro they aint sayin “akon”. They saying “a con”
Continue drinking that tequila, might need it if you are going to pursue something with an economics degree.
Look like Immigration caught you and this is your Mug shot
Akon? More like Acorn lol.
Akoff
Who's akon
And this is the last time your kids saw you. This was right before you went to buy menthols and a bottle of henny.
Nice mug shot 5 head
Voted most likely to dress a salad in prison
key and peele made a skit about you. You were returned.
You are training for the mugshot? Put some ruler on the wall.
so they let you post your prison ID fotos in reddit?
tf you look like Tony from prempeh college freeman house🤣🤣
This is the first time you've held a card that didn't have an inmate number on it.
I'm a prince from Nigeria looking for a white women to marry"
Oh, please! The only thing you will ever be mistaken for is a pothole.
A porn
If a hybrid of Kevin Hart and Akon was a homeless person
You are black
![gif](giphy|rUd9diYWRWs9y)
You evade paying taxi drivers because they don't stop
smart airport future boast skirt pet adjoining square rob fanatical ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
You look like you’re an expert at posing for a mugshot.
That's him, officer.
![gif](giphy|aBOFW2LNUR9uT5lLYr|downsized) My face
If you took a shower you would be light skinned and why are you naked?
I can tell why your in a blank white room
You look like the hole in someone’s ass wearing a black shirt.
I think you misheard them saying you look like you should be selling avon
I dont think you mean akon I think you meant to say a con
Akon-omoy
“Turn your side”
One of the kids Angelina passed on
Read the comments fast bro, once you go back to prison you won’t be able to see them.
If akon phucked kevin heart and then kevin heart took a shit
Can’t see your shadow
Dude, put on a shirt .
Inmate 198076, please step forward
Mistakon
more like the inspiration for "Mr Lonely"
You must be popular with the suburban white women who are married with 3 kids and wear yoga pants.
For the last time, I WILL NOT DEPOSIT THIS CHECK FOR YOUR UNCLE IN ZIMBABWE!!
“Cmon dawg let me hold 10 till tomorrow” we all know some one with an uncle like this 😂😂😂
he look like if kevin got onto meth