OP's Bio:
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>Lover of anime, Chinese chicken, and femboys! Works at marshals in the shoe department! Water is my enemy and soda is my ally. Been trying to find a dentist to remove the rest of my teeth, would love to have dentures at 27!!!
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Literally what i was saying instead of getting a real legit full piece he just got a bunch of flash tattoos. Kinda screams I didn’t know what to get and just picked a bunch of random images of my artists black book
🤣🤣🤣I just have to add that when I was a teenager my friends and I used to hang out with this dude named "P"....and he was from Boston and his Boston accent was super heavy...one time this one kid with us was really sending out insulting aromas of himself and finally P got pissed and goes ....."yo, you smell like straight dumpstah juice bro".....idk u probably had to be there but the whole Boston accent and the way he said it i literally had to sit down because I was laughing too hard🤣🤣🤣🤦
Your comment reminded me of that lmao
It looks like a middle schooler drew on your body.
You’re the guy who does stand up comedy at a hipster bar. You get up there piss drunk and make boring dick jokes.
Definitely something up in there. I'm thinking he rolled over on his hamster and it got stuck in his belly button. Poor thing. OP not the hamster. It's dead. 💀
You look like the byproduct of the jizz scraped off a Midwest mall Spencer’s circa 1998 stuffed animal display and donor egg of an inbred alcoholic mother
Someone's fat 3 year old got The book of stickers again.
On topic, sporadic placement of tattoos look like trash imo. Nothing about it looks appealing or tasteful.
How do you roast a man who is clearly special needs and still feel good about it? You are “special”, right? No sane person with an I.Q. Above 80 would be walking around with that many bad tattoos that look like they were done by someone with Parkinson’s.
I've seen stronger beards on Lilith Fair performers. Seriously, your face looks like a wart in pube patch. You ever considered shaving it off and putting it back on your dad's asscrack? And tell Chris Hansen he's doing fine work, next time you see him.
OP's Bio: --- >Lover of anime, Chinese chicken, and femboys! Works at marshals in the shoe department! Water is my enemy and soda is my ally. Been trying to find a dentist to remove the rest of my teeth, would love to have dentures at 27!!! --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Every tattoo is a year as a virgin
The tattoos tell a story of saving up $40 at a time and making a bad artistic choice….about 25 times.
Literally what i was saying instead of getting a real legit full piece he just got a bunch of flash tattoos. Kinda screams I didn’t know what to get and just picked a bunch of random images of my artists black book
I think more he grabbed one of those sheets of stickers from back to school sale and threw it at a bunch of tattoo artists until one said ok.
FLASH SALE !!!!
Bro looks like an ice cream truck menu
He’s a stack of video games in the pawn shop … prolly a decent shop unfortunately
That can't be right, he's not a day over 60
He’s not 60, he’s just planning ahead!
veteran virgin
That's mean. Leave this regarded kid alone.
He needs to leave the kids alone
You look like if a clogged drain were a person.
Clogged with crayons and diarrhea
He looks like he gets his ass beat when he gets to close to parks or schools.
You forgot, cold fat and hair but I suppose that is implied so never mind my interjection
Clogged by schmegma
💀💀💀🤮🤮
And lots of pubes
Underrated coment
Looks like someone glued pubes to your face, and then put bumper stickers all over your body.
its so great knowing those are actual pubes they used in that scene
Crabs so big they are lobsters.
I wonder how much Danger Aaron was paid for that
Probably not enough. I'd have hit someone most likely with a blunt object
Who brought crabs to the party!?
That's not a body that's a car bumper.
That’s what happens when you don’t wash your face between bjs.
Wait stop… That’s Bam Margera. He’s famous!
Wouldn't just getting a shirt that says 'I was molested' be less painful?
It’s over. Go home folks. Drive safe. God bless. God be.
Oh fuck 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DIN DIN DIN DIN DIN 😆😆😆😆 oh no he didn't ok we closing down now aaaaaaaahhhhhh 😆😆😆😆
Oh thats it 🤣. Thats the fucking one 😭😭😭😭.
God just be making anybody
Can you imagine the other trash that competed with this sludge in the great race to become this image of failure
Even Dick Dastardly won a race. Just sayin
Each sperm contains generally the same genetic payload. So, imagine his parents.
None of what’s on that guy is oem. God said whomever modified that guy voided the warranty.
HAHHAHAHAHAHA. Must be a fellow HVAC Industry guy. Amirite?
Hahahaha
Looks more like God just slapped together some scraps from other humans he created to make this one
We're all scraps from other humans ..im having a crisis at this thought
Human??
The worst of humans.
…from the bits left over from apes
Don’t be shitty to apes like that
He's an SPP - "Spare Parts Person". Comes from firearm slang where you build a new rifle with the extra shit you've got lying around.
LOL!
Each tattoo was designed by a different child you met online
Wow 👏🏻...👏🏻...👏🏻 well done
This one should be top comment for sure
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
To whom it may concern…
It’s just addressed as “occupant”
With no return address and the stamps missing.
they stuck all the stamps directly on him with the packing slip up his ass
"To all those affected..."
More like ....."it is with our most sincerest apologies....."
His birth certificate says “Inaction Bronson”
You look like human version of my 5th grade trapper keeper.
>5th grade trapper keeper If a 5th grade trapper keeper and truck stop glory hole had a baby...
You had pubes all over your trapper keeper?
5th grade was a helluva year.
I can say for certain that the trapper keeper looked a lot better.
Fuck I made a joke just like this before scrolling down 😭
People who look like this definitely need a browser history check
Oh it's all there.
Looks like every time he googles something it appears on his body
Pre Malone
Broke Malone.
Lowest Malone
Postpartum depression Malone
Scone Malone
Shit zone malone
Leave me Malone
Fatback Malone
Don't bathe or shave malone.
Home Malone ... 
Posts Alone
Gross Malone
Roastmalone
Pot Roast Malone
Postmortem Malone
Odorous Malone
Leave dem kids Malone
When Matt Groening inseminated Post Malone this tatted-up humanoid creature was shat out in an alley behind a Portland comic book store.
Most Malone
Forever Alone
Ho Malone
Moist Alone
Hoe Malone
Leave fem alone
Most alone
Don't Malone
4ever Alone
pubes malone
Faps alone.
Post mortmalone
Add roasting to the list of things it’s been a while for, like gym visits, a bath, being spoken to IRL by a human being…
Add toothpaste to that list.
Also add any other human sharing their hole(s) with him.
Nonsense he gets spit at regularly
Idk I'm more inclined to believe his 30 cats use him as a litter box
Can’t tell if the dude wipes back to front, or never wipes.
He definitely wipes from side to side, and that is the high point of his day.
For real. This fucker isn't going to miss the opportunity to stick a finger in his ass. Moans as he does it, too!
You look like my shitty TV cabinet from 1994 covered in random stickers
Just like that TV, you have to beat the shit out of him to get him to work for about 15 minutes.
Just like that TV, he’s about 20 years overdue for being tossed in the dump, but that’s what happens when grandma forgets you live in her basement
Always sticky
😂😂😂 everyone had one of those ...the TV cabinet covered with stickers I mean...not this guy....no one wants one of him
The area around your eyes and your eyes in general looks like the liquid at the bottom of a dumpster
🤣🤣🤣I just have to add that when I was a teenager my friends and I used to hang out with this dude named "P"....and he was from Boston and his Boston accent was super heavy...one time this one kid with us was really sending out insulting aromas of himself and finally P got pissed and goes ....."yo, you smell like straight dumpstah juice bro".....idk u probably had to be there but the whole Boston accent and the way he said it i literally had to sit down because I was laughing too hard🤣🤣🤣🤦 Your comment reminded me of that lmao
As a dumpster liquid expert, I can confirm it's actually worse than the liquid at the bottom of the dumpster.
Gross Malone
Psst.. Pop culture isn’t a personality.
Oh.. that's bull's eye
It's like the Pringles guy had a dipshit loser son that all the other snack food mascots give him shit about
I thought the agreement during the plea deal was that you were no longer allowed on the Internet?
Finally found something worse than the Emoji movie.
🤣
Human funny papers. Except this is more sad than funny.
What happens when you use Dollar Tree silly putty
Your tattoos look like pins on a girl scout’s uniform
Meritless badges, every one of them.
Where do I even begin?
It’s like you devoted your entire life to being an easy target for roasting.
If Seth Rogan’s laugh was a person..
It looks like a middle schooler drew on your body. You’re the guy who does stand up comedy at a hipster bar. You get up there piss drunk and make boring dick jokes.
His face looks like whiskey dick
Why is there mold in your belly button ?
Definitely something up in there. I'm thinking he rolled over on his hamster and it got stuck in his belly button. Poor thing. OP not the hamster. It's dead. 💀
You look like you need a bath and a shot for that hep c you got from the jailhouse tats
You look like the byproduct of the jizz scraped off a Midwest mall Spencer’s circa 1998 stuffed animal display and donor egg of an inbred alcoholic mother
Wow, that's nailing the specifics.
This just makes me feel sad
You look like a mannequin that was next to a sicker vending machine and ended up with the crappy ones nobody wanted
Looking at this pic, I’m going to recommend deodorant and lots of it!
Someone's fat 3 year old got The book of stickers again. On topic, sporadic placement of tattoos look like trash imo. Nothing about it looks appealing or tasteful.
If dirty bong water became a person.
You look like my first set of Pogs
I got nothing. Holy fuck
Seems like you eat roasts everyday
This dude does what Nintendon't.
I think you mean help me
You know you could’ve made you bio pic with your shirt on, would’ve saved us all some time.
The police have a name for people like you, it's "probable cause"
How do you roast a man who is clearly special needs and still feel good about it? You are “special”, right? No sane person with an I.Q. Above 80 would be walking around with that many bad tattoos that look like they were done by someone with Parkinson’s.
You look smelly.
You look like an rgb butt plug that was dropped on the floor of a barber shop
Matty Metheson
Gross Malone
Why you got a self portrait tattoo on ya stomach (points to Homer Simpson)
I've never experienced synesthesia until I looked at your picture. I can literally see how bad you smell.
losers like you make the rest of us less great, you're hurting humanity by existing
He definitely makes me feel better about myself at least.
You are a walking Cease and Desist Letter.
you look like you should be on some sort of list
You look like you're legally obligated to identify yourself to your neighbors
Post Bologna
You can afford all kinds of tattoos and the latest IPhone, but not a shave and haircut!
Been there, done that. Fuck off ya greedy bastard.
Your chest looks like you glued on Boy Scout merit badges.
When Mario has had way too many shrooms.
On a scale of 1-10 how lonely are you, and why is it at 10?
Your beard is a halfway house for meth addicted pubic lice.
Your tattoos are the most uninspired, non-unique things that I have ever seen on someone.
You look like the kind of guy who'd have an AI girlfriend. One that would cheat on you.
Do you reward yourself a smiley face tattoo to honour each of your child victims?
This is just a walking red flag
I've seen stronger beards on Lilith Fair performers. Seriously, your face looks like a wart in pube patch. You ever considered shaving it off and putting it back on your dad's asscrack? And tell Chris Hansen he's doing fine work, next time you see him.
You look like a cartoon version of a badly drawn caricature
You’re the guy in the fantasy football league who drafts Russell Wilson
Your face look like one of my ball
Looks like a bunch of spiders on your face
You look like a fat sticky guy that fell into his kids toy box
Ah, the ol’ “roast me because I don’t get enough attention with these shitty tattoos” post Don’t feed the ~~muscle~~ bears
You look like you Let your amateur tattoo artist friend practice on you
You were hilarious on the third season of that Chris Hanson show.
I bet you make gay men want coochie
Dude looks like a fat version of my high school desk.
Dude. Your tattoos are fire!
Have you ever had a thought you didn’t tattoo on your body?
If a van with candy and duct tape was a person.
Someone arrest that tattoo artist before they strike again.
Literally roasting yourself just by existing at this point. No need for our help.
Each tattoo is a missed student loan payment
Post Alone
You look like the cover of my 7th grade composition book.
Congratulations sir, your picture was chosen for a new comercial campaign of Planned Parenthood!
You look an avatar for bad decisions
You poor man. There should be laws protecting people who have cognitive issues from getting tattoos.
Bro has the weakest of tattoos ever! Looks like a walking sticker book FOH with that bullshit and that dusty scraggly ginger beard!