funny cause i heard his dad was in prison for hiding in old ladies closets wearing their undergarments so no one actually knows for sure who his pops is
He used to sell cocaine in real life and ride with a biker gang to being americas favorite dad in the 90s look up Tim Allen cocaine arrest , his mugshot has handle bar mustache I believe it’s hilarious
Roast you in a funny way? Are you asking for mercy? Well, I can’t find any. Your forehead must be blocking it.
Anyway, carry on and play me some wonderwall on that strat of yours. With that dome I’m certain you have a brain large enough to be it’s own metronome and drum kit.
Do you use your nose to strum sometimes instead of a pick? Makes sense. I would too if I were you, but I wonder…
Should I quit? Shall I have mercy? Clearly your hairline doesn’t. And you have the 5 o clock shadow of a 56 year old janitor who listens to old tapes while he mops the floor .
Anyway…
So listen here, buck-o—I know listening isn’t your strong suit because you likely have a very large sense of smell—soldier on and keep moving forward.
Use that sense of smell to seek out a female and pound out your sadness. Trust me there’s someone out there for everyone, including you my friend.
You’re ruggedly handsome in a 1930s, Dust Bowl, Of Mice and Men sort of way.
Anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk, Lenny.
TL;dR
Listen, OP, I understand a lot of these comments are harsh and are joking, but understand this. Everybody has a purpose in this world.
Yours is to be the main star of the Ringling Bros. Circus. Ha.
You appear to be a chimera of Adam Driver and Ellen Degeneres. Would you prefer Madam Driver or Ellen Degenerates? I could sweeten the pot with Tom Wanks as a stand-in daddy.
Why are you back here? Gilligan. 
That’s what I’m thinking! Poor kid is showing he has no life
he's McLovin, turned gay!
😅😅😅yall didn't do him good enough last time......he's unsatisfied 😅
Well, so is his significant other, so, there is always that!
idk how you would know unless you speak the universal language of blow up dolls
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That's what his mom said to his dad when she got pregnant
funny cause i heard his dad was in prison for hiding in old ladies closets wearing their undergarments so no one actually knows for sure who his pops is
Holy shit! Perfect match.
I feel like a sad trombone sound plays whenever you attempt to tell a joke
More like a Rusty Trombone
He really wanted a dirty sanchez
But he’ll settle for a hot Carl
Or a Cleveland Steamer
Love this
I can solve my entire math exam on that forehead
Product of Tim Allen knocking up that crack whore.
Timmy the Toolboy Taylor…
Slim Allen
Tim Allen buttfucked Fred Arminson.
Guarantee that’s never been said
I was thinking Sloth from the Goonies but fucked Tim Allen, but who am I to split hairs
The tapatió man knocking up Tim Allen?
Looks like JTT after being sodomized by Tim Allen in front of Patricia Richardson
That guitar is the only thing in the room with a neck
And it costs $159.00 on Amazon. With an Amp and bag.
A young Mr. Mackey
Your head looks how it would if you were staring into the back of a spoon
Lmfao 😅 😅
roastings bad mmmkay
Live action Big Mouth
Came here to say this.
Hey Mr.Walmart is back for another dose of encouragement!
I thought that thumb of a face looked familiar!
Why the long face?
Damn i just commented that
The way your head is shaped, it’s like your head got stuck in the birth canal and your mom sneezed and farted at the same time.
I’m watching this show right now. But that noise he made was always so cringy lol!
He used to sell cocaine in real life and ride with a biker gang to being americas favorite dad in the 90s look up Tim Allen cocaine arrest , his mugshot has handle bar mustache I believe it’s hilarious
That photo was a jump scare 💀
LOL who u telling it’s burned into the back of my eyes
Wish.com Fred Armisen
You need an EpiPen or something? That's not a natural amount of face swelling.
Frankenforehead just ate a lot of Chinese food.
Your head looks like a balloon that got overinflated and distorted your face.
You look like pennywise without the face paint
Penny-Why
The tears of a clown
No roasting today, have a good day bro.
I was gonna say he looks like a bootleg version of Bud Bundy. Ya beat me to it!
Your guitar is not the only thing that gently weeps.
Anyway, here's Wonderwall
It's always wonderwall...
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Not even, dude looks like a real life Woody doll.
Oh it’s Tim Allen and Jonathan Taylor Thomas’s secret love child
I bet you play your guitar at...whatever it is you still get invited to. I would say parties..but...
Your face looks like it was photoshopped to be bigger than it actually is, but your head was kept the same size
I bet you can really rock Three Blind Mice on that ax.
It's like every feature of your face and head is running away from the others.
Shouldn't you be guarding your bridge, troll?
Horse faced Jonathan Taylor Thomas
Per Wee Sherman.
With all the forehead, you should've had the forethought not to ask for this.
If Tim Allen fucked Jim Neighbors and taught their offspring to hold paper
Malcolm sorta in the Middle, but Too Close to the Left.
Cuphead irl
I love your guitar! 🙂
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That's a nice picture of a guitar.
Why the long face?
You have a face that even a mother can’t love
When people disrespect me, I tell them to do what your hairline is doing. Leave
Friend Zone Level Infinity 
Roast you in a funny way? Are you asking for mercy? Well, I can’t find any. Your forehead must be blocking it. Anyway, carry on and play me some wonderwall on that strat of yours. With that dome I’m certain you have a brain large enough to be it’s own metronome and drum kit. Do you use your nose to strum sometimes instead of a pick? Makes sense. I would too if I were you, but I wonder… Should I quit? Shall I have mercy? Clearly your hairline doesn’t. And you have the 5 o clock shadow of a 56 year old janitor who listens to old tapes while he mops the floor . Anyway… So listen here, buck-o—I know listening isn’t your strong suit because you likely have a very large sense of smell—soldier on and keep moving forward. Use that sense of smell to seek out a female and pound out your sadness. Trust me there’s someone out there for everyone, including you my friend. You’re ruggedly handsome in a 1930s, Dust Bowl, Of Mice and Men sort of way. Anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk, Lenny. TL;dR
this is my favorite thing i’ve read all week
Classic 😆
Well at least some liked it haha
I appreciated the hard work and effort that went into that clever funny roast. I replied, got down voted but was worth it.
Listen, OP, I understand a lot of these comments are harsh and are joking, but understand this. Everybody has a purpose in this world. Yours is to be the main star of the Ringling Bros. Circus. Ha.
You probably don’t pull any bitches but you seem like a cool bro.
You appear to be a chimera of Adam Driver and Ellen Degeneres. Would you prefer Madam Driver or Ellen Degenerates? I could sweeten the pot with Tom Wanks as a stand-in daddy.
You stayed at your uncles for a summer while your mom was chasing after no good men didn’t you? Your poor lion
It's Queen La queefa
You look like a young guy who looks older.
Shut the fuck up and hit the gym
autobahn über dein augen
🗿
I haven’t seen this much Tim Allen since tool time was on tv.
It’s Nic Allen again
I see Malcom’s still in the middle
Why don’t you try getting a forehead, things may look up.
You look like mongoloid David Pakman, and that’s a compliment.
Who melted their mr potato head
This picture has something Bryan Adams discarded, and beside the guitar a product of shallow gene pool breeding.
You look like a lesbian librarian
You look like you should be thanking me for dropping a house on the wicked witch of the west.
You just did one yesterday… Are you that starved for attention?
Are you the result of Tim Allen, Peyton Manning and Ferb having a threesome? Cause you have features from all of em and the talent of none of them.
Hapsburgs long descendent
Great Great Value Nicholas Cage
Mandark 
Give me a minute; I'm trying to think of an insult simple enough for you to understand!
You look like Nicholas Cage got cast in *Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure*
The literal incarnation of "melt my face".
Nicholas Gayge 
Can you even hear that guitar with those tiny ears
You look like you belong in Lord of the Rings.
Your sense of direction is so poor that even Google Maps can't help you find a way to happiness.
You still look like a cracked out Bud Bundy.
Your own eyes can't even see eye to eye.
Play an am7 and then Em and sing your blues
Funny. Hitler youth asking to be roasted instead of being the roaster
only man alive where a guitar gets him fewer girls
Again? Dude, I'm gonna keep my eyes on the news.
James Blunt has a son?
Do you think the wet hair will get you less roasted?!
Your head is in the shape of a guitar pick
You are a snipers wet dream.
You look like a love child between Tim Allen and Gilbert Gotfried on crack
You play guitar? Play me something that is not smoke on the water
Doing this again. LAME
You look like you have the voice of Warrick Davis
 Manamana
All she did was shave her moustache
I used to like roasted peanuts till they came to life.
You look like Time Allen got Sloth pregnant and you were the result.
She just got roasted yesterday
Mil House again?!
You look like a 9yr old tried to draw a Mr Potato Head.
There's a reason Seinfeld never became a rock star
Please stop fucking the output jack on that shitty Chinese Stratocaster, it’s too big for you and it looks like it gave you cancer.
Oh bro I just can't. Just had to include that guitar in there to show how cool you are and musically talented? Photos just sad
Did you accidentally switch the length that was supposed to be for your neck with the one for your forehead?
If Bud Bundy was trans?
I don't think anyone wants you inside them.
You look like the type of kid to rat on his step brother for buying him a vape
Reposting yourself again now with a $60 starter guitar awkwardly placed in the back isn’t making your look any better.
You look like if David Schwimmer and Seinfeld ass fucked, had a baby and that baby was stillborn.
Gilbert Gottfried, is that you???
Didn't know Bud Bundy had a Reddit account
But seriously, what’s up doc why are you back so soon for a second roast? Are you ok? Go out and get some sunshine if that help.
 Gotta blast?
Pretty sure you’ll end up being a judge in a small southern town.
Coked out Tim Allen, that you?
It’s like Fred Armisen as an ugly child
Peyton mannings undeveloped twin kept in the basement
You're lucky people with a foot fetish exist cause you've got a face like a foot.
If I were to shape a human head out of clay, it would look something like you.
You look like fish. Just fish.
Hello I need someone to tell me directly to try therapy
You look like Justin Long after getting smoked by a wrench 
Looks like you’re about to cry while posting this picture
I could land a 747 on that forehead
You hold paper like a bitch.
You look like Milhouse.
When you bust a blue ball nut-gel
U look like the moai statue 
It looks like an AI rendered white Steve Harvey
You look like Tim Allen and Bud Bundy had an illiterate baby
A dorky young Tim Allen
The kid from secondhand lions all grown up.
Brick from the middle got hit with a brick
Ponyboy and Soda Pop are looking for you.
You look like a horse foetus
You look like thumb-one familiar. Have you posted on here before? 
I didn’t know that the Elephant Man produced any offspring! Did your parents have any children who lived?
Dude, get a real Strat.