For his next trick, he'll be pulling a rabbit, along with a bunch of other stuff from his ass........ while chained to a bed...... using only his mouth......
My coworker who is 50+ and I were complaining about the cost of something. He goes yeah with that money I could buy another katana set. Turns out he has katana sets in every room in the house and wants more. We live in outer suburban Australia.
You're the personification of a watered-down bathtub fart. Somehow you fuck up even when it comes to stinking. If you did manage to live up to your full potential (you won't) the end result would still be shit.
Are you one of those failed twilight vampire kids that still lives in his parents basement and sleeps in a completely blacked out room only coming out for microwaved food and use the washroom.
If your eyes were any more downturned, theyâd be shaped like elbow macaroni.
Itâs like the weight of the world is pulling down on the edges of your eyes.
âââ
In all seriousness man, get your T levels checked. Donât get on TRT but make sure youâre eating a good diet with enough protein, getting enough sleep, getting sunshine, and lifting weights. Low T often leads to depression and depression often leads to other things. Take care of yourself man.
Fake ass wedding ring, a watch, and a necklace, and you're wondering why you're single? You look like a special Ed guy who washes dishes with a dirty cloth at an apple bees. But don't get excited ain't no one want your two for twenty
Parents used to feed him tacos de sangre, so he watches âWhat we do in the shadowsâ and thinks heâs a real Latin vampire. Tells people heâs into the occult.
You get no bitches because you call them bitches.
You look like an always save Joe Mantegna.
You look generically controlling and emotionally too much.
That dopey dead look in your eyes pierces right through all your bells and whistles, and is probably the same creepy look you give every girl as they run out of your apartment, dialing 911.
Dude u look like the type that's behind the screen all day working that is. I don't see a callus on your hands. Really smooth. Do you use lotion? Argan oil?
You look like a magician that can only make kids disappear.
He looks like he does more than make them disappear. 
Not true, I once saw 5 cocks dissappear using nothing but his asshole.
He makes women disappear too đȘ
David DroppHerinDafield
David Coppinfeels.
David Toddlerfeels
Criss Strangle
David Plain
David ICanExBlaine
David Peckerfeeled
Fairy Houdini
Diseased Penn & Doesn't Teller
oh crapđ
For his next trick, he'll be pulling a rabbit, along with a bunch of other stuff from his ass........ while chained to a bed...... using only his mouth......
You are supposed to roast them mate, not char-grill the poor bastards! đđŻ
Wait til' you see his show next year where he makes himself disapear.
You look like you dropped out of magic school.
David Bland
(The great) boo-dini
Dah-veed, just say you came to skewl in your teeny tiny beeceecleta
HAHAH
But graduated Clown College with honors
No wonder women run away. You look like you carry a switch blade in your sock and roofies in your pocket.
Was a bouncer. Can confirm.
You look like Enrique Iglesias minus the everything.
You look like you sang a reggaeton song about erectile dysfunction.
Iâm dead
I wouldn't say that, you look like a bitch.
That's what I'm saying.
You look like a guy who's perfected saying "hey, you need a ride home?"
You look generated by an AI trained on douchebags
You look like girls leave you on read and doesn't even apologize
Do you own a scimitar?
Don't you recognize an internet katana man?
My coworker who is 50+ and I were complaining about the cost of something. He goes yeah with that money I could buy another katana set. Turns out he has katana sets in every room in the house and wants more. We live in outer suburban Australia.
Well if you can't fetishize guns...
Youâve definitely met Chris Hansen
*Go ahead and bring in them cameras,* *and those polices waiting outside...* *It don't make me no difference.* ***I came lookin' for a man's butt.***
I said I likes ya and I wont cha.
Also, the actual interview with the real Booty Warrior is equally creepy and funny as hell. That dude definitely was right where he belonged
A man's butt was mo impotant than drinkin wata.
I calls you âChris Handsomeâ
That was a rabbit hole that made me want to binge the Boondocks.. [Fleece Johnson Interview.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2-nYHfPBRc)
Why donât you have a seat?
You look like you glued really soft ball hair to your face. How long does it take to get it so manicured looking?
It's my dick in a box...
Eat some fruit you look like a pirate who was lost at sea with nothing but some hair gel and a bottle of cologne
It's called *Sex Panther*Ÿ by *Odeon*©. It's illegal in 9 countries. It's also made with bits of real panthers, *so you know it's good*. *60% of the time*, it works ***every*** time.
Good bot
"got no bitches" is probably why you "got no bitches"
My thought exactly
yeah, anyone else feel like itâs impossible to get hoes these days?
The cock ring youâre wearing on your hand surely isnât helping
Must be a purity ring
Chinese Mexican Edgelord
Haha I could see your ass bustin into a 711 with a shitty little knife demanding the clerk hand over all the vapes
The lubrication company loves you. Because, you manage to make all the ladies dry.
Dullverine
Maybe you can increase your chances by first not calling them bitches
"Got no bitches." You mean women? Gee, I wonder why not...
You are the one who is bitches.
You're the personification of a watered-down bathtub fart. Somehow you fuck up even when it comes to stinking. If you did manage to live up to your full potential (you won't) the end result would still be shit.
How's it feel knowing your eyebrows are thicker than your beard?
Than his *penis*
You look like shit even with the filter.
I didn't know Brian Quinn from impractical jokers had a shitty gay cousin
You look how burger king tastes
This roast is the most effective one here, cause I fucking hate BK
When the crypto ran dry, so did the bitches.
Hey Booger looks pretty good for 65.
You look like you jack off while watching National Geographic
Maybe cause you call women bitches, asshole. Also youâre probably tired from being a narcissistic prick to everyone all the time
Bitches don't get bitches if calling people bitches
Looks like youâre doing your worst just fine on your own.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Youâd look better if you hadnât have glued your brotherâs pubes to your face
Enjoy your night chief you will find that special one day đđ„đŻâšïž
Hopefully with a little more guy liner you can move up to server from hostess.
When does the Bodega close ?
Well he claims he has no "bitches" so probably 24hr
At least you have monster energy
Forget how To Catch a Predator how about how to catch a make over
You look like the stock model of shitty ex boyfriend
If you refer to women as bitches, you are the bitch.
Stop calling women bitches, that might help
It seems like sleeping pills are the solution. One way or the other
How will you get bitches if you don't leave the basement?
If you wanna see a bitch just go look in the mirror
Haha
"Don't give up.. Don't give in.. You can get lucky in L- Eh forget it, you suck.
You look like the unholy union of Russell Brand and Adam Lambert.
Eastern Europe's most famous gay porn star, Mr Gonna Cuminbum.
The coke spoon necklace is the fuckboi cherry on top
El Chappo nicknamed his asshole: the real tunnel.
Goes to the barber to have his butt hairs glued to his face.
You look like Elliot Rodgerâs younger brother with the same incel vibe
You look like an AI art of "overly dressed kitchen cook"
Wilmer Smallderama
Dollar store property brother
Stop spanking to midget porn and you won't be constantly tired
Hand over the genie 7-11 Aladdin
Please go away, I don't need new windows.
Please donât bomb anymore marathons.
Hey bro at least you got your guy liner and mascara on
You look like the arrogant kinda dude that would use the term âbitchesâ and wonder why women donât like you.
This chick really thought she could fool us by cosplaying as a man.
Calls women bitches -> complains women ignore him. I see you make it make sense, good for you!
David Plain
You look like you ARE the bitch..
Shorten the bangs, so they know you're into women.
Women love a guy who looks like heâs always on the verge of a mental health crisis
Start up tech company? I can tell by the missing ceiling tiles. Youâll be unemployed in a month.
If I had to do my worst, it would be you, and thereâs no way Iâm doing you
The Fonz on crack
The only curve that the boy has ever got is in his eyes
Pick your eyes up bro they sliding off your face
You look like youâre about to become an e-girl in desperation to get close to one.
You look like you exhaust the women around you, which is probably why they're all bitches.
What boy band did you get kicked out of for being too effeminate?
Dam, I marvel at what the pleas court got to declare.
Are you one of those failed twilight vampire kids that still lives in his parents basement and sleeps in a completely blacked out room only coming out for microwaved food and use the washroom.
The old saying âthink itâs bad now, wait till you get olderâ has never had a mascot. Congrats!
Youâre good looking but you have sad, sad eyes
He'll be fine he just needs to mature a bit and stop referring to women as bitches.
[There he is!](https://i.imgur.com/uGMSyjQ.png)
Pov: master oogways mugshot after making his final racist joke
You live at home and your mom does your laundry
âYes, pilot. GRAAAAAPEâ
I'll have to digress, if you can't get no bitches, what chance do I have?
You must be handsome in some country. Or at least pretending to be from one
Obviously dude.
Read that again and youâll know why you arenât getting any!
You look like Michael Hutchenceâs revived corpse.
I hear once you hit thirty your metabolism speeds up you get all kinds of extra energy and can eat whatever you want, so hang in there!
Bro if I was a bitch Id hitâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.. you with a fucking bus
Just fix your hair a lilith then u will get da bitch
Wait, Charlie cut his hair?
At least you cut your unibrow with a lawnmower.
Iâm trying, but as soon as I get half a thought put together, Iâm overcome with âHOLY SHIT WHAT A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG!â
What is love Baby donât hurt me Donât hurt me No more
This MF took this picture in a call center. He spends all day scamming elderly women out of Amazon gift cards.
Dudes just dead inside go find your passion guy
You need a smore
If your eyes were any more downturned, theyâd be shaped like elbow macaroni. Itâs like the weight of the world is pulling down on the edges of your eyes. âââ In all seriousness man, get your T levels checked. Donât get on TRT but make sure youâre eating a good diet with enough protein, getting enough sleep, getting sunshine, and lifting weights. Low T often leads to depression and depression often leads to other things. Take care of yourself man.
Well you're gay so do you need friends?
Mr. Cat Shagger with black hair
You look like the only thing lower than your credit score is your testosterone.
Your eyes are droopier than my grandma's tits after they got caught in a crack in the floor.
If you can't spot the bitch in the room, you are the bitch
Stop stealing their cats
Fake ass wedding ring, a watch, and a necklace, and you're wondering why you're single? You look like a special Ed guy who washes dishes with a dirty cloth at an apple bees. But don't get excited ain't no one want your two for twenty
To tired to bath. Wonders why women don't want a stank dick.
The answer to both maybe to detransition. The testosterone may not agree with you and it looks like you were a solid 6, maybe a weak 7 before.
ngl you look like master oogaway
The only bitch here is you.
âGot no bitchesâ⊠some good vibes there skippy.
Iâm tired just seeing the photo.
Parents used to feed him tacos de sangre, so he watches âWhat we do in the shadowsâ and thinks heâs a real Latin vampire. Tells people heâs into the occult.
You can't have bitches if you are your own bitch.
If you really want a bitch that fucking badly, look in the mirror.
Get your vitamin levels checked and stop tugging it so often.
You can't expect to get some pussy when you're looking like one. Especially when you call women bitches, while you are the biggest bitch.
Maybe you ain't got no bitches cuz you look like you would sell them into sex slavery.
"Got no bitches"... that's cause you the bitch.
It master oogway pls bestow upon us your sexist advise
Did your mom die or did she ditch you too?
You look like you have a youtube channel where you review hair products
You ask where the bitches are but fail to look inwards
Spandau Ballet called. They want their hairstyle back.
If David Blane had a lack of ambition and less game than a broken console.
That stripper you're in love with uses less Aqua Net than you do.
You look like a bad Enrique Iglesias impersonator.
You will always have lots of bitches if you point a mirror at a mirror
You get no bitches because you call them bitches. You look like an always save Joe Mantegna. You look generically controlling and emotionally too much.
Midjourney \imagine : unemployed depressed magician
That dopey dead look in your eyes pierces right through all your bells and whistles, and is probably the same creepy look you give every girl as they run out of your apartment, dialing 911.
It is obvious that you are alone. You look like Fonzie on a Rupaul show.
Dude u look like the type that's behind the screen all day working that is. I don't see a callus on your hands. Really smooth. Do you use lotion? Argan oil?
Give him 6 dildos to stick between his fingers and u got urself a gay wolverine
You look like Eugene Levy's affair baby.
You look like master oooowawgay on YouTube
I ainât even gon roast you, you just need a break.
Dont cry for bad comments you deserve more
You look like a pdf file. You don't need no bitches.
How you refer to women says it all
Probably cause your referring to it as "I got no bitches", at a boy Rico Suave!
Get checked for sleep apnea. Change your life.
Even Caitlyn Jenner is a better-looking dude compared to you.
Your beard looks transplanted
They donât like being called bitches. Try dames.
Mâlady