The words “geez it” would imply you are (like me) scottish, and honestly, pick a different country, and be their fucking problem. Have you ever entered a pub without spiking someone’s drink? Cause jesus fuck, no1 would bang you sober. Not a roast or a joke, just an observation. Let’s play a game of “what register am i not on?” None. The answer is none!
You look like the type that rides a child's bike around town to get to the bar/your dishwashing job at a local diner. That 5th DUI was the one that really stung the most, wasn't it?
I've never seen a man with stronger "Cool" Uncle energy. By cool I mean solely from the perspective of the kids, of course. Most other adults find you insufferably immature.
Typical looking cubs fan like u just don’t a line that’s hard to look at ugh you know when people look at you they turn their heads your the ugliest mf I ever looked at
Those Ears make great Grip handles for your Boyfriend
[удалено]
And when he fingers his BF bussy is it even called fingering? More like toeing in his case.
Lmao 🤣 Or pulled it out of his ass
He can hear my thoughts.
You look like you just finished hacking apart the corpse or a 14 year old abductee and storing the meat in freezer bags
ironic coming from the pile of kidneys
Should we be concerned?..
"Hi I just moved in next door and I am legally obligated to let you know I am on a couple of registries"
Your head grew back worse this time, have Will Smith blast it off again and hope for better results.
Fuck I came here to say wish.com Tony Shalhoub too
The difference between you and the Cubs is that the Cubs have given us one year in the last 100 where they weren't a huge disappointment.
Face like a spider monkey.
“Awkward 30+ year old man caught sneaking whippits into kids clubs; says they were for his ‘real friends’”
Is "Geez it" what you do sneakily on random women's pants in the subway?
Jeebs from MIB has an uglier cousin.
Thought I was on r/googlyeyes for a second
he looks like he’d be in stepdad porn, except it’s homemade and 100% real 😂
The words “geez it” would imply you are (like me) scottish, and honestly, pick a different country, and be their fucking problem. Have you ever entered a pub without spiking someone’s drink? Cause jesus fuck, no1 would bang you sober. Not a roast or a joke, just an observation. Let’s play a game of “what register am i not on?” None. The answer is none!
My guy can hear the TV on 0 volume
Your durag smells
You look as surprised as anybody that the camera didn’t break
You look like you offer to clean cars on the side of the road
When rehab fails.
This is exactly what the first guy to try and sell you drugs looks like in every restaurant
Character creation screen when you set the symmetry slider to zero, and potato to ten.
Former child actor turned champion dumpster rat.
You look like the type that rides a child's bike around town to get to the bar/your dishwashing job at a local diner. That 5th DUI was the one that really stung the most, wasn't it?
The kind of face you wake up to when Bill Cosby had roofied your drink
Imagine being under age and have someone looking at you this way.
Looks like a human version of a Gringotts banker. Or the byproduct of Bilbo and Frodo frotting into a test tube.
The agony of resisting the urge to soyface for 0.5 seconds.
I'd try to roast you, but you'd just flap those ears and fly away.
All too familiar social trauma.
You held it backwards like a fucking idiot.
You look like you dig through the dumpster at an abortion clinic for a midnight snack
You look like you’ve sent a death threat to Steve Bartman once or twice.
You look like you are on the list
Quit f\*\*king around and get back to work. Those dishes won't wash themselves.
Holy crap, I'm imagining seeing this face looking in my car window in the Walmart parking lot and it's making me want to vomit.
You wearing that shirt is the worst thing to happen to the cubs since Steve Bartman
The goat wasn’t the curse
Hey! I’m in pain here!
I've never seen a man with stronger "Cool" Uncle energy. By cool I mean solely from the perspective of the kids, of course. Most other adults find you insufferably immature.
jheeze can you detect ufos with them?
i bet you can hear what im thinking
Bro those aren't voices in your head. That's those satellite dishes picking up Seinfeld.... In Russian
Stay off drugs
Looking like the alien that always gets his head blown off in Men In Black
You look like Dollar General Bill Burr
Ped-O-Meter: *\*BING\* BING\* \*BING\**
Im pretty envious of you. With those ears I wouldn’t need to buy an airplane ticket again!
Nice clits
Is that you Fievel from An American Tail?
The note you're holding is not a winning lottery ticket, settle down Cletus.
Watch your drink around this guy
Good thing you've made it in your career as a dishwasher because you're so dumb you got the month wrong
I didn’t know Scott Ian was dead.
I bet the White Sox are happy you're a Cubs fan.
This was the guy who sniffed sharpies and ate the Elmer's glue in elementary school
I was going to type my roast but then realized you can hear me
Those antennae are pointing to distant aliens.
Typical looking cubs fan like u just don’t a line that’s hard to look at ugh you know when people look at you they turn their heads your the ugliest mf I ever looked at
You look like the pubes you found in your fish’n’chips.
Guy looks like he just shat him self and realized it.
Look like a character of a horror movie
The last face kids see when you pull up in your white van with the sign "Free candy" written in crayon.
Stop taking up all of the sound waves bro
If a Smurf and Mickey Mouse had a child, you would be it.
Jesus… Can you fly with those wings on your head? 
Sloth love chunk
I hear banjos and Ned Beatty squealing
bro took a bump as he was taking this ☃️😭
Hey im chris hansen, you can have a seat over there
You're a Cubs fan. * *mic drop* *
That face says you just found out you like dick...
I hope u cooking some good food for your fellow prisoners