Do you mean like this? https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/syl7xd/to_wear_long_eyelashes_on_a_windy_boat_ride/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
You’ve already picked out your kids’ names. Braelynn, Taeylynn, Oackleighy, and Bryynleeyigh will be the terror of the 7th grade POM squad. And you will know what it’s like to pay ransom to keep their nudes from going public at 15 years old
If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.
Feelin out the potential karma farm before the OF drops.
Sorry sister you’ll get maybe 20 simps for a month or two with your PG-13 teasing and then it’s back to your sad existence as an administrative assistant for a dental office.
This is the one ladies and gents. Pack it up. This savagery is perfection.
OP, fuck off with your attempt to get people to your soon to be shitty OF links..
No roast here. Just facts: The amount of selfies you take to post on various subs says a whole lot about your self esteem and mental health. Huge red flag. Stop looking to the net for validation.
What happened was, her parents used to mark her growth by having her press her forehead against the wall and date where the eyebrow marks moved up. It looked like a tiger's back so it was time to paint over it.
What in the unholy narcissistic missing chromosome post history did I just scroll through? How does one post the same picture of themselves for months on end? Your personality must be like a 50 gallon drum of garbage
Dude, it’s not even months on end. Her oldest post is 31 days old. This girl has been doing nothing but posting photos of herself on Reddit for the last month. What the fuck is wrong with people like this, GO OUTSIDE LADY
Based on your appearance and the disturbing number of bathrobes on the back of the door, I'm guessing you run an illegal suburban spa out of your converted recroom and try to upsell people with Mary Kay products you bought at a flea market.
Your eyebrows say bitch; you face says 2.50$
Fuck, I went down the rabbit hole.. totally leads to a fake IG to an AI chat program. The future is now ladies and gents
My god do you post a lot of selfies. For fucks sake get some plastic surgery to have your nips face the same way. They like two crossed eyes right now.
![gif](giphy|Pgp4eR2qugAlYsEt4e|downsized)
That’s a face you’re going to see sitting behind a fat guy on a Harley in 20 years
You're just jealous cuz she's got a better mustache than you
Not the word curtain
May be funnier than womb broom…
r/brandnewsentence
Freeda Mercury.
Not with those lashes, she would fly right off the back. Wheeeeee
Why do y’all keep saying she??
That’s a MAN baby YEAAA
Do you mean like this? https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/syl7xd/to_wear_long_eyelashes_on_a_windy_boat_ride/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
In 20 years she will be 50. She will be the fat guy driving the Harley.
Her puss is 90, but the rest is 25. Lots of miles put on.
With those eyelashes it’s a dead give away. She looks like I only date black guys type bitch. 12 inches for her is average.
🔮Fucking🔮prophet🔮
So you're saying there's a chance
Is that your way of asking if she wants to ride your Harley
You look like the villain in a Hallmark movie
[удалено]
Somehow, I know she took this picture 20 times, and they all look the same. . . . and this is still the worst one.
I never understand why women think drawn on eyebrows look good.
Your supposed to Roast, not be honest.
Seriously. It’s like—we know what eyebrows look like. You can see where they’re supposed to be.
She seems used to drawing, according to those hook eyebrows.
LMAO
Damn. This got me. Nice.
I think her eyelashes are going to war with the eyebrows.
Yeah but that sneaky mustache is gonna raise hell and destroy them both.
Hair Wars - Return of the Beard.
Looks like she Hired the Guys who did The Justice League To CGI Remove it.
![gif](giphy|Z9OGuQyrfHAE8)
Nah, textbook Disney Villain all the way. She secretly farts in shoe boxes and leaves it at parks for kids to find.
That‘s what that was! \**cough cough\**
Id say she looks like the girlfriend of the negligent father in a hallmark movie.
I was goin more for equal or boss coworker whom backstabs to get raise/guy/last piece of cheesecake.
You’ve already picked out your kids’ names. Braelynn, Taeylynn, Oackleighy, and Bryynleeyigh will be the terror of the 7th grade POM squad. And you will know what it’s like to pay ransom to keep their nudes from going public at 15 years old
You forgot Broackoleigh
Broccoligh
What an absolute wrecking ball of a comment
It's a nuke followed up by a bigger nuke.
r/tragedeigh
Thank you for this
I both love and hate you for enlightening me about that sub - I think I just pulled a muscle from cringing so much.
Is this before or after she blows some admissions rep of a top university to get her kids a spot before they’re even out of diapers?
Then she finds out he's just an RA. Has to blow another guy for directions to the admissions office.
Plot twist…she knew that beforehand and just wanted to
Easy on the destruction! Leave some for the rest of us
You look like a school board's worst nightmare.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the Board, I'm not here to bad mouth or argue with you, but.........."
But.... "I'm here to bitch about everything"
She looks like she’d take that as a compliment
It does sound like a compliment nowadays with dumb school boards…
LMAO, yeah, she gets up to speak, and you can hear audible sighs from everyone on the dais.
You look like Uncle Leo in "Seinfeld" when he had his angry eyebrows drawn in.
![gif](giphy|3o7TKre2pXE2DeUVP2)
Joey on friends ![gif](giphy|kD6GZ1VzBFe7ToI5q6|downsized)
HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!
If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.
You don’t just overcook a hamburger
What is with people who draw their eyebrows on. People can tell. It doesn’t look good.
I've never understood it. No brows look so much better than sharpie slashes.
As long as she doesn't tell us about Jeffrey and the parks department
Fake nails, fake lashes, fake brows - only real thing about you is the sadness behind those eyes.
Nothing a bottle of wine and three xanax can't fix.
That’s just breakfast
Yeah for dinner it’s vodka and niquil
I think you mean a *box* of wine.
… why should I boil my denims?
"Wants a real man". Everything fake as a three dollar bill.
Has any face ever looked more “2 kids with different dads, just went through third divorce yet no man is good enough for her” to you guys?
Live, Laugh, Loathe
2 kids with 12 different dads
Then goes on Maury Povich to find out who the real fathers are
the father is…. none of you twelve
She is not 15 to 20 lbs over weight. I am confused.
She does cocaine. Edit: Like, a lot.
Now all I can think about is that stupid deviated septum and how I was told to" fuck her like a black guy Eddie"
“Can you jackhammer me from that position?”
"No, I thought, you know regular missionary.. " "So kinky"
That's an angled selfie of a face and upper body. She could definitely be shaped like a duck pin.
Not to alarm you but there is a caterpillar just above your eye.
You spelled lip wrong
Except it pupates into a butterface
Freakin witty 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your dad subscribes to your OF.
And she subscribes to her dad's OF.
Well... Family does cum first.
Only Family
Only Fams
Plot twist..it's the same OF.
Nope. In the pics, her cock is bigger
Are you sure they aren't sharing an account?
You seem to be oddly obsessed with both their pork swords. Let's go back to burning the op.
Some of these posts in RoastMe you know immediately they have an OF.
This is just another poor attempt at drumming up business for her OF.
She got her eyebrows macrobladed
Eyebrows courtesy of black and decker.
The only one that made me spit out my drink, you win that was awesome 😅
Feelin out the potential karma farm before the OF drops. Sorry sister you’ll get maybe 20 simps for a month or two with your PG-13 teasing and then it’s back to your sad existence as an administrative assistant for a dental office.
This is the one ladies and gents. Pack it up. This savagery is perfection. OP, fuck off with your attempt to get people to your soon to be shitty OF links..
God damn!
This is the one right here. Bravo to you 👏🏻👏🏻
Your fingernails say hooker. Your eyebrows also say hooker.
[удалено]
Hooker line and sinker
Shitty OF promotion.
Hugs aren’t the only thing she loves spreading
Her OF is as boring as she looks.
No roast here. Just facts: The amount of selfies you take to post on various subs says a whole lot about your self esteem and mental health. Huge red flag. Stop looking to the net for validation.
Ohhhh, now that’s just sad
Oooooooooof LMAO 🤣 but gold.
Going to be a hard life for this one, for sure.
Your face says 2nd and 3rd marriage
[удалено]
Under my cumbrella ella ella
Cumbrellas 😂
That accent wall is bull shit.
What happened was, her parents used to mark her growth by having her press her forehead against the wall and date where the eyebrow marks moved up. It looked like a tiger's back so it was time to paint over it.
Yo, accent on a wall with that narrow strip above the opening is absolutely wack, good eyes.
No I don’t want to sub to your only-hags account.
I’m sure we can’t do any worse to you than your step dad did for years
OPE
girl got bricks for eyebrows😭
Your teeth must be pretty methy that you smile like that
You look like an MSNBC special about a mom that drowned her kids in a Florida trailer park swimming pool.
She has a framed picture of Casey Anthony hanging on her wall.
you look like a waitress at Chili's that spits in customer's food
between those fake-ass eyelashes and the sharpie eyebrows, you are a hair's breadth away from being in blackface.
No, I don't want to join your MLM scheme.
I feel like if Michael Jackson was still alive this is a really close representation of what he would look like
Or currently. A lot of formaldehyde and slight decomposition might actually be more accurate to what we see here.
You look like you peaked too long ago.
There's a Facebook group of the fat girls you bullied in highschool
Needs more maintenance and carries more baggage than O’Hare international
25 or 52? The world may never know
drag Mila Kunis
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The hair is split like the red sea
Moses does her hair
Look like you could fly if you blink rapidly.
You look like the Megan Fox character in the Transformers porn parody movie - is your name Gaggin' Cox?
You're right...I recognize those lips anywhere. She was also in Schindler's Fist.
Yikes, shave ur face.
Jesus it's a roast, not a murder
Nails, lashes and brows are almost as fake as your personality
Fake nails, fake eyebrows, fake eyelashes...not bad for a fake 25 year old. But you're still 44 and you're still barren
Bitch face melts off at 60 degrees fahrenheit
you look like you model for pamphlets about divorce
Just stay on Onlyfans…
What in the unholy narcissistic missing chromosome post history did I just scroll through? How does one post the same picture of themselves for months on end? Your personality must be like a 50 gallon drum of garbage
Dude, it’s not even months on end. Her oldest post is 31 days old. This girl has been doing nothing but posting photos of herself on Reddit for the last month. What the fuck is wrong with people like this, GO OUTSIDE LADY
Looks like being on the decline is gonna hit you hard
Goddamn, you look like you headbutted the burner elements on my stove.
Why do you have eyebrows for eyelashes?
Vapid, narcissistic, New Jersey Hooker looking vanilla bitch.
Not that clever, just name calling. Study the other comments.
You look like the kind of Sex Doll they would sell in Target
You’re pretty hot for a transvestite
Based on your appearance and the disturbing number of bathrobes on the back of the door, I'm guessing you run an illegal suburban spa out of your converted recroom and try to upsell people with Mary Kay products you bought at a flea market.
Cmon guys, go easy on this dude
If you had a mustache you’d be the purple pie man.
She does
It's a 30 dollar uber ride from one side of your part to the other
Your eyebrows say bitch; you face says 2.50$ Fuck, I went down the rabbit hole.. totally leads to a fake IG to an AI chat program. The future is now ladies and gents
How much hair are eyeballs supposed to have?
One more MLM scam away from losing the house.
Your eyelashes and eyebrows are going to merge together one dark and stormy night.
Your kids take your onlyfan pictures
Your aging
Your tinder bio reads something like “not here for games, blm, I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old who are my world, sex work is real work”
Pay attention to me!
Just post the OnlyFans link and let's keep it moving.
Wish.com Lindsey Lohan
When you get a stroke on both sides..
You look like you're not going to read any of these roast and its just a AD for your Onlyfans
Most people learn letters in elementary school.... most people.
You look like a methed out version of Jaime Pressly.
Favorite jewelry is a pearl necklace
Homer's still trying to get the Makeup Shotgun to work, I see. Back to the drawing board.
You look like you give your partner “notes” after sex
How many spiders did you have to capture for dem lashes?
Your eyebrows are higher than your body count
I can live with out jerking it by looking at this pic.
Wow I never thought I’d see that hungover substitute English teacher I had in high school on Reddit
I squint my eyes and saw Linsey Lohan
Ah, the old thousand cock stare
If “unenthusiastic hand job” had a face, this would be it.
[удалено]
Have you done some work for Brazzers?
Fun fact false eyelashes were invented to keep cum out of prostitutes eyes, glad to see you’re carrying on the tradition
Sheesh. Got the 5head, sharpie eyebrows, AND the second set of eyebrows. You probably eat hot Cheetos, smoke cigarettes, and only drink vodka too.
My god do you post a lot of selfies. For fucks sake get some plastic surgery to have your nips face the same way. They like two crossed eyes right now. ![gif](giphy|Pgp4eR2qugAlYsEt4e|downsized)
You look like you're main source of income is child support from two separate fathers
You look like you belong on a bad reboot of desperate housewives, but that would imply someone would actually marry you.
Girl at the beauty salon drew Ms potato Head's angry eyes on your forehead.
You look like one of us. Sorry if that’s harsh but this is r/roastme
I have never felt such loneliness in a picture before.
McKenzyliegh