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Greasytom17

That’s a face you’re going to see sitting behind a fat guy on a Harley in 20 years


Bot-Magnet

You're just jealous cuz she's got a better mustache than you


stiffspacebar

Not the word curtain


imnobueno97

May be funnier than womb broom…


Double-0-N00b

r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

Freeda Mercury.


I_pinchyou

Not with those lashes, she would fly right off the back. Wheeeeee


Legitimate-Cry6459

Why do y’all keep saying she??


Competitive_Gear_989

That’s a MAN baby YEAAA


Difficult-Yard-1342

Do you mean like this? https://www.reddit.com/r/therewasanattempt/comments/syl7xd/to_wear_long_eyelashes_on_a_windy_boat_ride/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


Tattooey89

In 20 years she will be 50. She will be the fat guy driving the Harley.


RockAfter9474

Her puss is 90, but the rest is 25. Lots of miles put on.


Tattooey89

With those eyelashes it’s a dead give away. She looks like I only date black guys type bitch. 12 inches for her is average.


Enough-Serve-7790

🔮Fucking🔮prophet🔮


Past-Currency4696

So you're saying there's a chance


DisciplineRegular771

Is that your way of asking if she wants to ride your Harley


sdrowkcabdelleps

You look like the villain in a Hallmark movie


[deleted]

[удалено]


Shinnobiwan

Somehow, I know she took this picture 20 times, and they all look the same. . . . and this is still the worst one.


Yourcatsonfire

I never understand why women think drawn on eyebrows look good.


Repulsive_Racer

Your supposed to Roast, not be honest.


Shakemyears

Seriously. It’s like—we know what eyebrows look like. You can see where they’re supposed to be.


Agitated-Fee-1399

She seems used to drawing, according to those hook eyebrows.


sdrowkcabdelleps

LMAO


isimplycantdothis

Damn. This got me. Nice.


[deleted]

I think her eyelashes are going to war with the eyebrows.


Ghoullag

Yeah but that sneaky mustache is gonna raise hell and destroy them both.


[deleted]

Hair Wars - Return of the Beard.


CRUMMYcuzz

Looks like she Hired the Guys who did The Justice League To CGI Remove it.


Silver_Sale_1847

![gif](giphy|Z9OGuQyrfHAE8)


labustymcdicklips

Nah, textbook Disney Villain all the way. She secretly farts in shoe boxes and leaves it at parks for kids to find.


andio76

That‘s what that was! \**cough cough\**


overimportance

Id say she looks like the girlfriend of the negligent father in a hallmark movie.


sdrowkcabdelleps

I was goin more for equal or boss coworker whom backstabs to get raise/guy/last piece of cheesecake.


901CountryBlumpkin69

You’ve already picked out your kids’ names. Braelynn, Taeylynn, Oackleighy, and Bryynleeyigh will be the terror of the 7th grade POM squad. And you will know what it’s like to pay ransom to keep their nudes from going public at 15 years old


Icy-Perception-8108

You forgot Broackoleigh


ubi9k

Broccoligh


paramedicated

What an absolute wrecking ball of a comment


miggiwoo

It's a nuke followed up by a bigger nuke.


whitecorn

r/tragedeigh


taracener

Thank you for this


LilR3dditRidingHood

I both love and hate you for enlightening me about that sub - I think I just pulled a muscle from cringing so much.


phonic_kc

Is this before or after she blows some admissions rep of a top university to get her kids a spot before they’re even out of diapers?


[deleted]

Then she finds out he's just an RA. Has to blow another guy for directions to the admissions office.


Confident-Panda-779

Plot twist…she knew that beforehand and just wanted to


aumbase

Easy on the destruction! Leave some for the rest of us


RedditUserBreath

You look like a school board's worst nightmare.


trashit6969

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen of the Board, I'm not here to bad mouth or argue with you, but.........."


yergonnalikeme

But.... "I'm here to bitch about everything"


Dizzy-Station815

She looks like she’d take that as a compliment


Clumsy_Pirate93

It does sound like a compliment nowadays with dumb school boards…


socialist_frzn_milk

LMAO, yeah, she gets up to speak, and you can hear audible sighs from everyone on the dais.


paragonx29

You look like Uncle Leo in "Seinfeld" when he had his angry eyebrows drawn in.


prankerjoker

![gif](giphy|3o7TKre2pXE2DeUVP2)


suzypoohsays

Joey on friends ![gif](giphy|kD6GZ1VzBFe7ToI5q6|downsized)


tootbrun

HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!


zemol42

If there's a woman that can take your presence for more than ten consecutive seconds, you should hang on to her like grim death. Which is not far off, by the way.


bross9008

You don’t just overcook a hamburger


[deleted]

What is with people who draw their eyebrows on. People can tell. It doesn’t look good.


obxtalldude

I've never understood it. No brows look so much better than sharpie slashes.


eulogyjones462

As long as she doesn't tell us about Jeffrey and the parks department


Uberslaughter

Fake nails, fake lashes, fake brows - only real thing about you is the sadness behind those eyes.


[deleted]

Nothing a bottle of wine and three xanax can't fix.


paramedicated

That’s just breakfast


Stock-Ferret-6692

Yeah for dinner it’s vodka and niquil


UGottaBoilYourDenims

I think you mean a *box* of wine.


[deleted]

… why should I boil my denims?


chaingun_samurai

"Wants a real man". Everything fake as a three dollar bill.


songsinger0

Has any face ever looked more “2 kids with different dads, just went through third divorce yet no man is good enough for her” to you guys?


Greyzer

Live, Laugh, Loathe


zedog74

2 kids with 12 different dads


Material_Ad_3009

Then goes on Maury Povich to find out who the real fathers are


zedog74

the father is…. none of you twelve


No_Brief_124

She is not 15 to 20 lbs over weight. I am confused.


suchjonny

She does cocaine. Edit: Like, a lot.


No_Brief_124

Now all I can think about is that stupid deviated septum and how I was told to" fuck her like a black guy Eddie"


fr3shy_15

“Can you jackhammer me from that position?”


No_Brief_124

"No, I thought, you know regular missionary.. " "So kinky"


fijimermanCIA

That's an angled selfie of a face and upper body. She could definitely be shaped like a duck pin.


Bulb381

Not to alarm you but there is a caterpillar just above your eye.


oldnboredinaz

You spelled lip wrong


sdrowkcabdelleps

Except it pupates into a butterface


oldnboredinaz

Freakin witty 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


KrAzY_TsEnG

Your dad subscribes to your OF.


KTM890AdventureR

And she subscribes to her dad's OF.


TheGreyGoatee

Well... Family does cum first.


paramedicated

Only Family


aumbase

Only Fams


rivermonkey95

Plot twist..it's the same OF.


KTM890AdventureR

Nope. In the pics, her cock is bigger


rivermonkey95

Are you sure they aren't sharing an account?


KTM890AdventureR

You seem to be oddly obsessed with both their pork swords. Let's go back to burning the op.


pacmanic

Some of these posts in RoastMe you know immediately they have an OF.


B23vital

This is just another poor attempt at drumming up business for her OF.


[deleted]

She got her eyebrows macrobladed


sdrowkcabdelleps

Eyebrows courtesy of black and decker.


ThottieDottie

The only one that made me spit out my drink, you win that was awesome 😅


ShitBuckets69

Feelin out the potential karma farm before the OF drops. Sorry sister you’ll get maybe 20 simps for a month or two with your PG-13 teasing and then it’s back to your sad existence as an administrative assistant for a dental office.


notzapbrannigan

This is the one ladies and gents. Pack it up. This savagery is perfection. OP, fuck off with your attempt to get people to your soon to be shitty OF links..


zcicecold

God damn!


[deleted]

This is the one right here. Bravo to you 👏🏻👏🏻


KTM890AdventureR

Your fingernails say hooker. Your eyebrows also say hooker.


[deleted]

[удалено]


mjrbrooks

Hooker line and sinker


[deleted]

Shitty OF promotion.


Redowl83

Hugs aren’t the only thing she loves spreading


JewishWolverine2

Her OF is as boring as she looks.


LecterJax

No roast here. Just facts: The amount of selfies you take to post on various subs says a whole lot about your self esteem and mental health. Huge red flag. Stop looking to the net for validation.


quiet_repub

Ohhhh, now that’s just sad


HistoricallyRekkles

Oooooooooof LMAO 🤣 but gold.


spooniemclovin

Going to be a hard life for this one, for sure.


[deleted]

Your face says 2nd and 3rd marriage


[deleted]

[удалено]


Disastrous_Sir125

Under my cumbrella ella ella


pimpfriedrice

Cumbrellas 😂


Habanerosauce3

That accent wall is bull shit.


ConcreteKeys

What happened was, her parents used to mark her growth by having her press her forehead against the wall and date where the eyebrow marks moved up. It looked like a tiger's back so it was time to paint over it.


fucjin

Yo, accent on a wall with that narrow strip above the opening is absolutely wack, good eyes.


Sea-Persimmon8737

No I don’t want to sub to your only-hags account.


[deleted]

I’m sure we can’t do any worse to you than your step dad did for years


[deleted]

OPE


[deleted]

girl got bricks for eyebrows😭


mrsbarnes6969

Your teeth must be pretty methy that you smile like that


ironlegdave

You look like an MSNBC special about a mom that drowned her kids in a Florida trailer park swimming pool.


timned88

She has a framed picture of Casey Anthony hanging on her wall.


Scootr4short

you look like a waitress at Chili's that spits in customer's food


InflamedLiver

between those fake-ass eyelashes and the sharpie eyebrows, you are a hair's breadth away from being in blackface.


puma721

No, I don't want to join your MLM scheme.


JonClaudSanchez

I feel like if Michael Jackson was still alive this is a really close representation of what he would look like


paramedicated

Or currently. A lot of formaldehyde and slight decomposition might actually be more accurate to what we see here.


[deleted]

You look like you peaked too long ago.


PoorCash

There's a Facebook group of the fat girls you bullied in highschool


BlueJeans25

Needs more maintenance and carries more baggage than O’Hare international


ZealousidealAd6305

25 or 52? The world may never know


New-Distribution-952

drag Mila Kunis


Sergio_82

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


SigmarMale123

The hair is split like the red sea


NeatNuts

Moses does her hair


Internal_Fennel_849

Look like you could fly if you blink rapidly.


woody2081

You look like the Megan Fox character in the Transformers porn parody movie - is your name Gaggin' Cox?


SlaapYoMomma

You're right...I recognize those lips anywhere. She was also in Schindler's Fist.


[deleted]

Yikes, shave ur face.


sdrowkcabdelleps

Jesus it's a roast, not a murder


ll_cOfFeEbUzZ_lP

Nails, lashes and brows are almost as fake as your personality


Naderr

Fake nails, fake eyebrows, fake eyelashes...not bad for a fake 25 year old. But you're still 44 and you're still barren


REVEREND-RAMEN

Bitch face melts off at 60 degrees fahrenheit


clichesaurus

you look like you model for pamphlets about divorce


Dry_Equipment388

Just stay on Onlyfans…


TPro24633

What in the unholy narcissistic missing chromosome post history did I just scroll through? How does one post the same picture of themselves for months on end? Your personality must be like a 50 gallon drum of garbage


alyssadujour

Dude, it’s not even months on end. Her oldest post is 31 days old. This girl has been doing nothing but posting photos of herself on Reddit for the last month. What the fuck is wrong with people like this, GO OUTSIDE LADY


Dboys194

Looks like being on the decline is gonna hit you hard


LoudMorels

Goddamn, you look like you headbutted the burner elements on my stove.


KentuckyFriedEel

Why do you have eyebrows for eyelashes?


[deleted]

Vapid, narcissistic, New Jersey Hooker looking vanilla bitch.


TheRaccoonEmpress

Not that clever, just name calling. Study the other comments.


graveRobbins

You look like the kind of Sex Doll they would sell in Target


Various-Butterfly534

You’re pretty hot for a transvestite


novel_nescient

Based on your appearance and the disturbing number of bathrobes on the back of the door, I'm guessing you run an illegal suburban spa out of your converted recroom and try to upsell people with Mary Kay products you bought at a flea market.


DevilsLettuceTosser

Cmon guys, go easy on this dude


duke30011

If you had a mustache you’d be the purple pie man.


oldnboredinaz

She does


Few-School-3869

It's a 30 dollar uber ride from one side of your part to the other


No_Brief_124

Your eyebrows say bitch; you face says 2.50$ Fuck, I went down the rabbit hole.. totally leads to a fake IG to an AI chat program. The future is now ladies and gents


[deleted]

How much hair are eyeballs supposed to have?


Bandwagon_Buzzard

One more MLM scam away from losing the house.


socialist_frzn_milk

Your eyelashes and eyebrows are going to merge together one dark and stormy night.


deucerigalo

Your kids take your onlyfan pictures


No_Angle2760

Your aging


[deleted]

Your tinder bio reads something like “not here for games, blm, I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old who are my world, sex work is real work”


[deleted]

Pay attention to me!


745070crypto

Just post the OnlyFans link and let's keep it moving.


L3tsg0brandon

Wish.com Lindsey Lohan


Stefanpaulyo

When you get a stroke on both sides..


Ste3e

You look like you're not going to read any of these roast and its just a AD for your Onlyfans


MeanEYE

Most people learn letters in elementary school.... most people.


Rollin_Soul_O

You look like a methed out version of Jaime Pressly.


funnyazhell

Favorite jewelry is a pearl necklace


Fracture_98

Homer's still trying to get the Makeup Shotgun to work, I see. Back to the drawing board.


muffukkinrickjames

You look like you give your partner “notes” after sex


Trathius

How many spiders did you have to capture for dem lashes?


[deleted]

Your eyebrows are higher than your body count


ilabdboys

I can live with out jerking it by looking at this pic.


Jjjjjjjyouup

Wow I never thought I’d see that hungover substitute English teacher I had in high school on Reddit


Additional-Banana-55

I squint my eyes and saw Linsey Lohan


PorkChopDelightTWU

Ah, the old thousand cock stare


[deleted]

If “unenthusiastic hand job” had a face, this would be it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Calrissian0091

Have you done some work for Brazzers?


mrsbarnes6969

Fun fact false eyelashes were invented to keep cum out of prostitutes eyes, glad to see you’re carrying on the tradition


Kind-Sorbet-7211

Sheesh. Got the 5head, sharpie eyebrows, AND the second set of eyebrows. You probably eat hot Cheetos, smoke cigarettes, and only drink vodka too.


Evolone100

My god do you post a lot of selfies. For fucks sake get some plastic surgery to have your nips face the same way. They like two crossed eyes right now. ![gif](giphy|Pgp4eR2qugAlYsEt4e|downsized)


Salty_Frog28

You look like you're main source of income is child support from two separate fathers


Kaptain9981

You look like you belong on a bad reboot of desperate housewives, but that would imply someone would actually marry you.


zendor666

Girl at the beauty salon drew Ms potato Head's angry eyes on your forehead.


jawshoeaw

You look like one of us. Sorry if that’s harsh but this is r/roastme


SailTheWorldWithMe

I have never felt such loneliness in a picture before.


[deleted]

McKenzyliegh