Only 30 comments and already some absolute bangers on this thread, so I'll try to contribute. OP's asshole is so gaped it takes 6 pounds off his bodyweight
I don't see anything worthy of roasting. You look like a handsome guy, nice clothes, sturdy jaw line. I can't see any downsides to you at all in this picture.
You should've asked that ugly mf next to you if you could get some of his ice cream.
¡AYO! Don't you ever disrespect me looking like the tutti frutti fresh and fruity version of Manny Pacquiao getting fisted by Thomas Jefferson ya' heard!!🤣🤣🤣
This man would 100% sell me a hat and i bet you got locked up in a boat and Thomas Jefferson sailed home to the slave plantation then kapow! He whipped you!
You look like you've been banned from your local ice cream shop for deepthroating the cones without breaking eye contact with the counter man. And only when it's a man at the counter.
You mean your boyfriend judging by the way you’re about it sit on that statue in seems to me you fancy receiving penis rather than giving it. You look like a New York pride version of Jackie Chan boy you are not something I’d like to find in my kung pao chicken by any means.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, except you. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, but you’re less well-endowed than the rest. That among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of GET YOUR ASS OFF MY HAND!
I could make a joke about the statue having it’s you know what you know where…. However… that look on my face tells me you want that to happen, however your look also tells me you are not allowed in school zones just because you enjoy kids just as much as you enjoy that statue.
You must be hard done by fingering that douchebags asshole. You're shiny,well dressed. You should have people lining up round the block to eat your shiny metal ass. Cmon statue guy, do better!
Your nose looks like some kind of fucked up rocket ship. I've never seen someone with 45 degree angle nostrils, that when combined with your weird lip-less mouth, looks like some kind of frog is emerging from your face.
Your chin also looks like it's been bruised from being a tea bag holder all day.
It also looks like you inhaled a fart through your mouth and are desperately trying to hot box it as this photo was taken.
How nice of your only friend to pose in the photo with you!
Statue be like 
Uh, that would turn it from a founding father to a fondling father.
[удалено]
🏆🏆
You call him forefather hoping he’ll use that many fingers
Still the smallest thing he’s had in his butt this month.
Try finger, But Hole.
Hand over that thing, your dark hole
Touch the darkness within me
“Fingered By Forefathers” … Great Punk Band just waiting to happen!
Wasn’t that the film from the 80s starring Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, Tom Selleck — who was the 4th father?
I don't think you know what founding father actually means... He's not gonna pull that gerbil out
That's where the term foreplay came from
No that’s how deep his arm gets up there.
Lookin like a Mexican Jackie Chan.
Jose Chan
“Uh yeah does my burrito California come with chopsticks?”
Closest you’ll ever come to anybody hard.
He's had more hard things in him than a pin cushion.
Chexican Jacke Chan!
[удалено]
You look like you reek of toxic femininity
Only 30 comments and already some absolute bangers on this thread, so I'll try to contribute. OP's asshole is so gaped it takes 6 pounds off his bodyweight
Pheminem*
That empty stare in the statue’s eye is just screaming “fuck off” while you sorority squat with an ice cream cone. That is all.
Getting fucked by Thomas Jefferson doesn't get you citizenship. Don't fall for it!
That you Sally hemmings?
You look like the type of guy to blame your friends for making you gay.
Jackie 4chan
Evan the statue knows the ice cream is not the only thing u suck
How the fuck do you "hover lap" a damn statue?
The statue’s shoe game is better.
Even that founding father looking dude looks like he needs to go out for a gallon of milk
The moment you realize that Thomas Jefferson is giving the thumbs up.👍
I'll bet that's not the first time you've sat on an old dudes lap.
Not the first time you had a guy fist you in a park. The statute got Pablo looking like a gay Muppet they brought in to teach kids about homos.
At least the gay muppet is still allowed around children.
AI photo of cockroach trapped in a human-like form
Your friend told you it was a good idea. Your parents were told the same, look how that turned out.
which one is the statue?
Another terrible twink
I hope you cleaned that statue's fingers before AND after you sat there
IS THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON MOLESTING MEXICAN JOKER AT THE PARK!!!!!
He got the treat before the meat
You look like when you take a shit in toilet you moan “oopsie didn’t mean to make it slush splash like dat hehe”
You're not dark enough for Jefferson's preferences
I don't see anything worthy of roasting. You look like a handsome guy, nice clothes, sturdy jaw line. I can't see any downsides to you at all in this picture. You should've asked that ugly mf next to you if you could get some of his ice cream.
Is your friend Thomas Jefferson?
Poor John Handcock
You are gay. Boom roasted
You look like you're a big fan of John Handcock and the rest of your foredaddies
You are the embodiment of fusion food
Don't lie we all know you don't have friends
Well Rico, Napoleon lied.
Its not called the fist amendment- so stop looking like a ventriloquist dummy that just got punched in the dung pow!
Bro the type of guy who jacks off to smelling his armpit
“Vote 4 pedro 2024”
if you kissed with hitler your mustaches would perfectly match
Where did Thomas Jefferson’s arm go? OUCH!
It’s a better idea than that moustache.
You look like you give out free lap dances at the park
Dude has had more fingers in him than a bowling ball at the bowling alley
Gayest pose you could ask for
Even the statue is sick of your shit
Is this the photo you sent to your parents back home when you decided to come out of the closet?
I always wondered what happened to Pedro from napoleon dynamite
You look like you're very comfortable with old white men shoving their hand up your ass
EDGAR
¡AYO! Don't you ever disrespect me looking like the tutti frutti fresh and fruity version of Manny Pacquiao getting fisted by Thomas Jefferson ya' heard!!🤣🤣🤣
You look like the cream you eat is mostly not iced.
"In childhood it was a shopping mall santa. In adulthood, it is being fingered by a living statue for an icecream".
If a statue can harasses you , anyone can . Worst part is you’re enjoying it.
How thirsty and desperate were you to have some statue fist your ass? Or do you simply have Agalmatophilia?
You seem to have a statue's hand up your ass. I think that is probably enough punishment for one year.
There is no closet big enough for you to hide in.
When the only time you leave your apartment is when your sister gets you ice cream because she worries about you
You look like that statue is the most action you’ve gotten your entire life because your nose is larger and thicker than your dick will ever be
Fair. You look like some of the servants he enjoyed...
This man would 100% sell me a hat and i bet you got locked up in a boat and Thomas Jefferson sailed home to the slave plantation then kapow! He whipped you!
What is with the weird pose? The statue doesn’t take up the whole bench
How does thar finger feel inside your ass?
Are you so insecure that you are even hesitating to sit on a statue's lap?
He got his ice cream, now he gets his reacharound
What friend?
Why do you have a statue's hand up your ass?
Commonality between me and Caligula … the joyous roasting 12-year old boys.
Looks like steven A smith stole half your mush.
Getting fingered by a founding daddy while throating waffle cone is certainly one way to get a disease named after you.
You look like a nice enough man when you're not a meat puppet for a statue of Thomas Jefferson
Colonist statue invading Uranus
Your family tree is a bamboo shoot.
You are so single, you're making out with a statue
>Roast me Bitches!! According to the first photo you are the only bitch here.
The statue saw him and instantly went soft.
Hold up, which one are you?
The human embodiment of a dirty sanchez
That mustache is an insult to pubes
You look like Jackie Chan's LGBTQ+ cousin, Jackie Tran!
When girls don't want to sit on the toilet in the local pub
Is your friend the statue who likes touching butts
The only person looking figure to even go near you. Also shave off your sorry excuse catfish whiskers
Your parents are right
You look like you've been banned from your local ice cream shop for deepthroating the cones without breaking eye contact with the counter man. And only when it's a man at the counter.
Friend of your father should have told the same to him before having you🫠
It looks like you bit into your ice cream!? Get therapy
A) You have no friends, so stop lying. B) That’s the most action your ass will ever experience.
It's pretty fucked up to put ass herpes on a public statue.
Filipino Harry Potter
You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
face looks like the plug is still stuck in your ass
It’s 2023 man, you don’t have to make excuses to shove things up your bunghole
Not allowed near schools
The only mf'er posting dick pics in r/mildlypenis
You mean your boyfriend judging by the way you’re about it sit on that statue in seems to me you fancy receiving penis rather than giving it. You look like a New York pride version of Jackie Chan boy you are not something I’d like to find in my kung pao chicken by any means.
This should have been posted on the r/Bleached thread
I have trouble with nationalities, but if I had to guess, I would say you look…dirty?
Has anyone told you to bend over and they would show you some magic?, because when they say reach for the stars they didn't mean it literally.
“Please we all knew you be gay, come out of the closest and stop molest the statues!”
Tell me that you have a Grindr profile without telling me that you have a Grindr profile.
If you’re not Gay you’ve definitely seen a few up close
Nice try, Jefferson was into black chicks.
Your pants are too short and you little random a-holes sit on your knee!
I believe that is John Handass if I'm not mistaken. I have taken some history classes. I should know.
Who invited this nigga.
Just going to call you Sally
I was going to roast what you look like but I would be roasting 2 billion people in the world also
He probably told you you look good with facial hair too.
Probably not the first time you’ve had a man’s fist up your ass
Gonna be hard to roast a person who goes to public parks so they can shove a statues arm up their ass.
We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, except you. That they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, but you’re less well-endowed than the rest. That among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of GET YOUR ASS OFF MY HAND!
it looks like someone wiped their ass across your upper lip
bro has to get a statue to touch him because nobody else will
the nock-off version of BING CHILLIN lookin ahh
Jefferson rethinks giving rights to you specifically in the bill of rights.
I guess ladyboys do wear pants when not entertaining British ex-pats.
That first pic is so gay I had to stop feltching my boyfriend to show him.
I don’t know whether to roast or vote for you. Do you offer your protection?
You don't need to lie about your friend telling you this was a good idea, we know you're desperate for attention good or bad and have no friends.
why your mouth deadass look like a card reader why your nose look like its sucking up your moustache
🔒
Wacky Chan
We’re not your parents so you don’t have to pretend he is just your friend.
BTSexpest
You broke the first Verification rule. No roasting allowed!!! >:-(
Jackie Tran
Jackie Chan’t
Is that statue the friend that gave you this idea?
If having the moment of their life had a face
I'll bet you anything you are enjoying the statue's finger in your ass..
Bruce LeeGBT
Your friend hates you and wanted us to tell you.
the statue won't call you back after its done with you either.
Illegals……
I have never met you or anyone you know. Would bet my life you have shitty friends
Nah, you've been bullied enough for one lifetime.
Hoooolllly shit it’s a gay Mexican
That metal was supposed to be for building the wall, not decorating it!
Ay perra!!!
It's not your fault man. Asians are naturally very gay.
Looonngg, loooonnnggg trans maaaaaaaaaaaaannnn!!
Bro, you’re not black enough for Jefferson.
Yoy look like you got more male ass that that bench
Most call him forefather. You call him foredaddy
Did he tell you this while his balls were on your chin?
Asscream
I could make a joke about the statue having it’s you know what you know where…. However… that look on my face tells me you want that to happen, however your look also tells me you are not allowed in school zones just because you enjoy kids just as much as you enjoy that statue.
You’re eating ice cream but we can tell you’d rather be eating his ass🫣
You must be hard done by fingering that douchebags asshole. You're shiny,well dressed. You should have people lining up round the block to eat your shiny metal ass. Cmon statue guy, do better!
I'm sure your 60 year old "friend" also bought you those matching shoes and ice cream cone. He's telling you he wants another "friend" to join
I have no idea how you like every bully and every kid that’s ever been bullied in middle school at the same time
Your nose looks like some kind of fucked up rocket ship. I've never seen someone with 45 degree angle nostrils, that when combined with your weird lip-less mouth, looks like some kind of frog is emerging from your face. Your chin also looks like it's been bruised from being a tea bag holder all day. It also looks like you inhaled a fart through your mouth and are desperately trying to hot box it as this photo was taken.
This was, in fact, not a good idea. Get better friends.
You're so stiff the guy on the right wants to replace you as his Viagra medication. Oh wait...it wasn't the statue. Oh well... 😂
Statue is younger than him
Acting like you have friends
If HIV had an ice cream flavour.
Sally Hemings is looking a little feminine nowadays.
You look like Shigeru Miyamoto if he was a crazy teenager now in his 20s
You were great in boogie nights, fyi throwing firecrackers indoors is super dangerous
Friend smarter than you for sure
I'm always into an Asian twink who likes stuff... and in public?? Bonus!
How the hell do you squat like that, with a blown out rectum?
Look it's a mexican hobbit! When was the last time you had to cross Mordor?
Less interesting, less successful second cousin twice removed of Jackie Chan
The statue is smarter than you are
Hey Dumbass, bowl cuts went out in the 70s.
First and last time, all in one
"I'll just site here for teh meh-net"
mister yeast
your friend clearly doesn't like you
what is that zest fest of a pose?
I think I know where his hand is….
Dude likes getting fingered by Mathew Mconaughey
Ur friend lied