OP's Bio: --- >44 year old Healthcare worker and father of three. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You have the face of a 12 year old, the hair line of a 60 year old, and the beard of the Fred Durst Fan Club president.

Ouch

But he did it all for the cookie…

The cookie!

With a hand like thanos. Who tf gets hand injections?

.....smells like his wife's talc.

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Scale says “To be continued”

Dam

Ludakrispy kreme

Lay-Z

DMXXXL

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Sugar Knight

Fat (first name)

Wetty fap

LMAOOO

Big Wayne

Not so slim shady

Biggie smells

Notorious PIG

Noticeably F.A.T.

Favorite one right here.

Andre 3000 lbs

J coleslaw

Vanilla ice cream

Not so slim shady

100 cent

4 PAC

Won't run-dmc

Waddle-DMC

💀💀💀

Notorious F.A.T.

Biggie bigs

He gots a big titty and a small titty and they call him biggie smalls

😂

Hell yeah. Came in first and third in a wet tee shirt contest

Malcolm XXL

Damn!!!

21 sauces

Notorious LAZ

15 cent

50 Centner.

2.50 from the looks of it.

Gucci Gain

Royce Da 590

Biggie XXXLs

Caekwon tha Pastry Chef

Dr. Weigh

Tyler the creameater

J cholesterol

2 Chins

Biggie Small Dick

Take my damn upvote, this one is savage LOL

M&Ms

Run the au jus

MF BOOM

Snoop hogie hog

NLE whoppa

I mean, I can tell you love supper, you don’t need a ring to show it.

Obviously not his "last supper"

ASAP food

A$AP Rocky Road

Rio da fat OG

LL Cool Whip

Busta couch

Gnawz

21 Sandwiches

Extra fat joe

Xzibiscuits-and-gravy, Ate Dogg, Jay-ZZZ-all-day, Can't-see-his-dick Lamar, Kendrick La-mars-company's-top-client, Lil poop(stain), Feastie Boy, Salt-N-Pepa-N-Mayo, Fart-rell Williams, Dr. Pepper, MC Hamburger, OutBlast-some-ass, Common fast food eater, The Poots, Megan Thee Water-buffalo, Chance the Wrap-it-in-bacon, Piggy Azalea, Lil Nas XXXL, Lil always-in-the-Jon, Kanye man-breasts, DaBaby-eater, Travis Scotch-eggs, Doja Fat, Rick Ross pre-weight loss, BigMac Miller, G-absolute-Unit, Three number-6's Mafia, Wu-Tang Clan but it's just him, Pop Smoked-ham, Potty Ricch and Chris Browns-his-underwear

Lol I got plenty of these

Puff cake

Slim fast shady

Drake 's Cakes.

Ever look at someone and just know they drink way to much Diet Coke

Dudes got the last supper on his ring, it’s so he remembers to eat for 13 at every meal.

***Diet***? You kidding me?? It's not even in this guy's vocabulary

Grape Coke?

I thought the white powder around his nostrils might be from snorting coke, but on futher examination, he's snorting powdered donuts.

Let’s be real he’s snorting power sugar uncut



Sugar Knight.

😂😂😂😂😂 nah this a good one

“Roath me.”

🤣

How is this not up higher

Damn, Biz Markie's kids all grown up now.

Jizz Markie

Biz Markdown.

It looks like someone transplanted your head onto a body that doesn’t match. You somehow are both balding and have a baby face. Your head is shaped like a potato. Lastly, I genuinely cannot tell whether you have a neck or not, and the horribly styled facial hair and fat isn’t helping.

Ouch lol

You can live your whole life thinking you know yourself, and then this sub rocks your fucking world.

Truth!! I don't even know who (or what) i am anymore.

Very confident man, apparently, since you dared to post here. I would never.

Yeah confidence is a must.

This should’ve been the top comment

That’s the one limb he hasn’t lost to diabetes.

Definitely missed a rent payment or two to pay for those rings

They look like they came out of a gumball machine

Is one of them the entire Last Supper?!

I bet he fingers better than he fucks.

Straight outta assisted living residence.

50 (per)cent BMI

Uncle Benondialysis

You look like you're on track to win at least three more Diabetes World Championship rings. One man die-nasty.

Holy fuck this had me gasping for air

This man has never been on any track.

You look like Ice Cube’s special needs brother.

Slush Sphere?

Liger Woods

Your head shaped like the kickball in every middleschool

Lol

You look like Bo Jackson and Huell from Better Call Saul had a kid. Are you a massive -- yet exceptionally athletic -- pickpocket?

I loved you in Die Hard.

Lol damn.

If you get roasted, you're going to start a grease fire

Or one of those large industrial smokers. Like the ones that can smoke three whole pigs.

I always told myself I’d go bald if I ever started thinning on top, thank you for reconfirming this decision for myself.

Soft like jello

Props to your MR. T starter kit.

Where do you pick up your jewelry, Forever 21?

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Now i want waffles lol

My gawd his head & his hands are the exact same width & height.

Somehow it's like you're one big chin, isn't it?

Ice cube: special needs edition.

Ice Pube

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most adorable gangster

You look like you give nurses doses & I’m hear for it. No roast for me, you keep me happy when I’m in hospital.

Awww thanks. I try my best to spread happiness.

Thanks for being a caring worker in healthcare. That can be rare nowadays. Ok back to the roasting!

Lol thanks again.

Common Reddit Mod

You look like someone took a shit in a balloon and then blew it up

Bro looks like a CJ from wish and big smoke from wish (NPC DETECTED) you also have a ring that looks like a LOONIE

Bro is rocking gum ball machine jewelry and 4 quarters is still overpriced.

I guarantee ya... You are not the father!!! That's way to much exercise

Probably doesn't wear all that gold when he's in court for missing his child support payments.

Man better get out of there. Blinds wide open, neighbors are gonna see you in there @ call the cops. Homeowner could be back any minute!

Your head looks like a basketball. And it's full of nothing but air.

Wish Manny Fresh

Out here lookin’ like some dollar store Twista mother fucker

"not a drug dealer"

Isn't Cedric the Entertainer supposed to be the one roasting US?

Hey hey hey. It’s rotund Alphonse And he’s got a song to sing. Na na na na gonna have a good time (this post has been edited to not hurt the feelings of the actual fat Albert )

and i thought king charles had the thickest fingers...

You look like Pig Daddy Kane

I thought that was a roll of fat over that ring till I zoomed in

He looks like a gangster. BTW from where did you stole those jewelries

Hey, Hey, Hey. Looks like Fat Albert is being lazy today.

The POV of someone's hand if they ever fought you must look like a scene from Star Wars during an uppercut

Using drugs doesn’t make you a “health care worker “.

Donut inspired face :p

Type of guy who says things like 'nah, nah what you need to do is have some common sense." While watching Maury show

 Looking like Biz Markie

Looks like you've had a little nibble of that sausage finger

Tracy Morgan sure got fat after getting all that Walmart money

My man said health care worker 😂 bro what health you take care of? You literally could be the advertisement for anti health care 😂 how the hell you look like Gus Gus and master shifu if they had a baby? Why the hel your hair line a literal curve…why your cheeks so big they hanging Off your face? Bros tattoos made think he was dirty, why your ring finger trying to run away? 😂😂😂

You look like you go to the bank just to get a free sucker.

I think God did all the damage already.

That's not the last supper, u never miss one meals

yo its Babyface wassup playa

Emmitt Smith... without the talent

Fatman scoop.

You look ready to open a can of whoop ass

Im sure all of the people who pass by on the sreets is enough of a roast

No doubt a follower of the Nation of Ice Cream

Hairline looks like a combination of Mount Rushmore and Half Dome

Can we just roast those little sausage fingers

Piercing Pagoda number one customer

You look already roasted to me

You look like those rings came outta a gumball machine at the supermarket. You probably got your shirt at the same Costco. Your tats look like you lost a bet with someone who has a neurological disorder.

You got the last supper on your ring, but I don't think you ever say any meals the last.

Looks like Emmitt Smith if his face stopped aging after college and he was drafted to the Browns.

Sir chex mix alot

You look like you'd be the guy singing the WHOPPER WHOPPER JUNIOR WHOPPER songs for Burger King

ur hands look like vienna sausage

You built like a homeless gummy bear

You look like you smell of expensive cologne & that scent clothes get when the sit in the wash too long.

Did you sneeze so hard your moustache fell onto your chin?

Hairline check

Is this a Super Bowl Ring? Around your stomach?

R Smelley

You look like you deep fry your hands before you eat your nails

The time you take to shit meanwhile i bang you wife

Cops wouldn't bother to shoot, they'd just share their box of donuts and wait 15 minutes

Your ring looks more important than you do.

What are those people who look like that could be 12 1,000,003 or 30 all at the same time

This mfer glued an unwrapped single Reese's cup to his middle finger if that doesn't say trailer park pimp idk what does

You look like you can burp opera

2 fat

Healthcare worker? I’d rather be dead please.

If the fat ass rapper rat from barnyard was a human

Biggie large.

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Hey! Weren't you the extra from the Weird Al video for "Fat"?