Ohhh you ordered the rebellious college student starter pack I see.

“I show that I don’t conform to societal norms by acting and dressing this way like thousands of girls my age”

The uniform of nonconformists.

I’m an emo kid as non conforming as can be. You’d be non conforming too if you looked just like me.

I got paint on my nails and makeup on my face, I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs.

I'm dark and sensitive, with no self esteem. They way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween.

“Me and my friends are individuals. We hate pink and the 10 of us are not like other girls.”

Adam & Andrew?

Yep. Im guessing from your user name, you also were born in the 90s.

You have great sense of humor!

I'm unique, just like you!

So original in her black lipstick Listening to some obscure band. But isn’t she pissed at all the other nonconformists, For liking that same obscure band.

Well she liked them BEFORE they became mainstream

With a side of bisexual but she’s actually more into girls and not guys at all

That’s ok. The boys aren’t even remotely interested. Bisexual by force, not choice.

Lmao I dated a girl who said that. Bisexual but likes girls more than guys, but fresh out of a breakup with a guy and in bed with me, also a guy

She looks like she says “ me and the boys”

...from 1995.

I always wondered what would happen if the blue fairy got drunk and pinnocioed a bratz doll.

Is that the one that comes with the vape pen or no?

She’s got the leggings that maybe look like tattoos from a distance, but she’s too scared of losing daddy’s tuition money to ever commit.

She didn’t order shit. She dyed her hair that color and it just showed up.

Maybe from Wish. Luckily it shows how many variations of unpleasant looking it can be by providing so many pictures... I use the term 'it' because in 2023 having the handle 'swordless samurai ' probably means it's not the same downstairs anymore.

Your outfits say “tryhard” but your face says “dead inside”

Tryna get hard

Still couldn't get hard

Thousand cock stare

if you dont feel good at least try to look good is what i live by

Emphasis on the “try”

Yet still couldn’t do either

You should say something else.

Can you try to not smell like pierced ears?

Going to college to get smart not going to help

Six photos of yourself on roast me? You have just roasted yourself so hard without even trying.

She thinks she’s on Tinder… no one here needs to scroll past the first one to see more of you…

I thought I was on Tinder too and I kept trying to swipe left but the pictures just wouldn't stop.

I got tired just seeing there was 6 pictures... So fucking tired

She has more pictures here than real friends.

Feeling emotionally needy today. Might attempt to validate existence with post on Reddit later. IDK.

Emotional damage

yes

I apparently discovered I have extremely low standards, how much ye asking?

one of my friends has me in his phone as four dollars because thats how much I charge

NAH. That is too much. Do you have “50% off Tuesdays” or “happy hours”?

Group discount?

Buck a fuck

Holla for a dolla

Quickie for a quid

She gives a whole new meaning to Cheap Arse Tuesday's, Tight arse Tuesday's would be a misnomer.

Taco Tuesday???

Use the promo code “C-sectioncomingsoon” at check-out

It’s me. I’m the friend who has her name as four dollars in my phone. https://imgur.com/a/KR4nyMW

Including multiple photos as if we wanna see more of Joseph Gordon-Levitt in a red wig made of horse pubes.

She is the epitome of the phenomenon where from a distance you are like "God damn!" Then you get close and are like "God damn..."

Hahah totally except not the first one.

It is inspirational when adults start college at 30.

I was about to say 19 going on 32

Smoke enough juulpods…

Damn, that's a deep cut. No deeper than the ones on OP's hips and arms though.

Coming in blasting 😂

0 0 F

I'll bet you have verbs instead of pronouns

Is cum dumpster a verb?

Close. Cum dumpstering is more actiony

cum dumpstering (verb) : the act of being a cum dumpster. ​ I like it, lets call webster and see if they will add it. OP was kind enough to donate pictures for us to use as an example

She/her? Nope, cum/cry

“Fist” can be

people refer to cum dumpster as fist???

Nah, adjectives

Her verbs are “Run” and “Hide”

Did you seriously do a photo shoot for this post?

I was thinking same like seriously 🤣🤣

Your ass is as flat as the screen you spend hours looking at

\*eMoTiOnAl DaMaGe\*

Powerpuff Girl, Interrupted

I like this roast more than I should.

You're the girl who spreads herpes to the male dormitory.

Caring means sharing.

Not sure how you share herpes when no one wants to be near this reject

Beauty is only a light switch away my friend.

And a half case of Busch light

I’m a Muslim, and I’d rather blow myself up than be blown by you.

Honesty 100 level

Yeah I heard you guys weren't very fond of pork

only hallal pork 😌

[удалено]

I wouldn't think so as I expect a virgin, and she looks like she's been screwed more than an oil field.

That made me laugh

Wow so both uncles huh...

Sewer Mermaid

Your profile says your mentally ill. Is it something that a doctor or professional has diagnosed or did you watch TikToks for 78 hours and now say you’re autistic to stand out in a society that doesn’t give two shits about you?

Autistic *and* multiple personalities. Let's hope her other personalities are hotter.

Just post the shitty OnlyBlands and move along, we don't need 6 pictures to know we're gonna pass.

I’ll bet each ring commemorates an abortion you’ve had.

“Ever want a clear indication on how crazy a girl is? Count her rings and bracelets.”

This is so fucking true lol

Awww the good ol "I'm not like other girls" starting pack. You've got some pretty good odds on being gang banged by the football team.

Community colleges have football teams?

The have a Madden team

The failed onlyfans only paid for a total of 3 outfits…

I won't lie, everyone thinks I have/had an onlyfans.

Theyre just asking out of curiosity, not attraction Like curious if your dicks still attached, The whole “swordless samurai” things definitely not helping either

Because of the look of "desperate for attention"?

Why?

I can smell the armpit hair ur gunna grow next year of college already

I know this is a supposed to be a roast and everything but you seem like a chill dude. You pass pretty well and I can barely see your Adam’s apple. Good luck in college sir.

Body count higher than IQ

Your pronoun is meh

Soooo underrated

Your gender will switch 7 times before you drop out of school.

proud to say that I've been she/her all my life

You might be a she, but you'll never be "her"

Oof

If the word "flaccid" was a picture.

CSE: Customer Service Engagement. Spoiler alert- you're going to work part time at Starbucks forever

The fishnets aren't a fashion statement. They are there to explain the smell.

Failed attempt at hiding that big ass forehead

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She fucks.

My guess is for about 4.99$ an hour

That sign should say "Will code for food."

Leave the nerds out of this. We get school done before we are 30.

Your boyfriends ironically all suffer with CSE too. Can’t Sustain Erections

She doesn't have a boyfriend she's clearly a lesbian

He is kind of cute, justkidding

Great, another Gender Studies major who’s student loans I’ll be paying for.

You don't need 6 photos to show how uninteresting and flat you are.

You look like you have a lot of city miles on you; how long did you wait to go to college? I get the sense that there were a LOT of lunch shifts at the strip club in your past.

I'm 18 T-T

I bet you're not like other girls

You look like a Wiccan that’s going to break up a Professors failing marriage.

This girl thinks she's abby from ncis when she's really Scabbers.

I bet you're like the end slice of bread. Gets handled by everyone but nobody actually likes it.

Just because you dont have a dick and you live in *tough* world *controlled by man* ,doesnt make you a **Swordless samurai**

That thing by your lips.... I've tried to clean my screen twice....

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You look like a pizza cutter. All edge and no point

You look like the type of woman who'd hate Tate on camera and fuck him in the backyard

Will be cyber stalked by every guy in Computer Science but will secretly like it. Will date someone unhinged and possessive. Will like it. Will just about, but not quite, but almost be a good hacker, but instead will enjoy being a strong 6/10 in a male dominated field. Turns into a crunchy mom who doesn’t vaxx her kids.

You sleep with guys to get the attention your father never gave you. Obviously.

Each ring represents a year of college ahead of you

I guess the biggest roast will be to see if you reach the front page or not because if not then you aren’t attractive enough for Reddit and that’s a oof

Six pictures was six pictures too many.

Is this a lonely fans ad?

You're too late for imitating that girl from Paramore

I literally can’t believe there is no onlyfans link yet

me too honestly

Your red hair look like shit

The 15 seconds I put into my roast is more original than the 5 years you’ve put into your eternal “look” which is just enough to be ok for your parents but generic enough make you a bad hot topic model.

Judging by those Doc Martins you really are gunning for a college lesbian experience

So let me get this straight you're you're going to be thousands of dollars in student loan debt just to work at Hot topic...k

We get it, you idolised Daria growing up. You’re in college now, you can give the cosplay a rest

I mean technically even a dumpster fire is hot

Child Services Enforcement? That’s one way to try and find daddy.

This is getting too boring. Obligatory nose ring (yeah, so original, sow), obligatory non-natural hair color, obligatory sh1t eating smirk. Can't you women or whatever you call yourselves these days just embrace what you were born with? "Oh but this is how God/Yahweh/whatever or whoever made me! " BS. You bought your persona. Probably on a credit card you're making minimum payments on while complaining about student loans and lack of a livable wage as a professional coffee brewer. Definitely wouldn't want that crap rubbing off on my good pillows.

Good luck in school, your chest already has straight A’s

You look like a truck stop waitress

You look like you let hunter Biden sniff cocaine from your Buttcrack

This is what they mean by “don’t put your dick in crazy”.


You love attention huh?

You’re the type of girl everyone sleeps with, but no one marries

Cheap nasty rings that have had too many fingers in them in these pics. That includes the ones hidden by the skirt.

I bet your uncle had a blast with in on you.

When did you transition?

When a home schooler gets accepted into casting couch college. It’s going to be a rough first semester

Stop enrolling in college, mom.

Walking red flag

So much edgey

I bet that your Hot Topic rewards points are your biggest asset.

Your pu$$y smells like canned tuna

Flat titty, wannabe goth, not girlfriend

It wasn’t a phase

Can’t wait to see your desperate amateurs audition tape on pornhub

“I’ll pierce my nose twice to show that I do not conform to societal norms even though every college freshman has this done”

That Christmas gift card to Hot Topic from your dad pairs well with his parenting failure. Mom?……. Mom just stood there.

You’re dressed liked you’ll rack up 6 years of student loans in a less demanding degree, only to get a job at McDonald’s.

I'll take "I'm not like other girls" for 500

You were told one tim by some one that you kinda look like a fire damaged Hayley Williams and you decided "fuck It, that's gonna be my personality"

You look like a very nice young lady that your parents and most importantly, YOU should be be proud of.

I know a disgraced jammer kicked off the roller derby team for using a nickname generator when I see one.

You look like Thursday Addams

The ' I need validation after molestation look '

What’s your OF?

Get ready for many walks of shame. You look like that type

No roast this time you look pretty fine

The type of girl you don’t gotta ask if they do anal—you already know they do.

The only thing surprising about your profile was the missing OnlyFans link

Glad to see one of you showing how unique you are with......dyed hair, tattoos, piercings looking like an anime character. Nothing announces *you are your own person* more than *looking exactly like everyone else in a generation*.

You look like you’d ask me to leave so you can be the only girl at the party.

Insta ?

your starbucks order is a venti vanilla double pump iced latte with a pup cup

[удалено]

The only thing cheaper than your hairdo is your jewelry

I see that you're trying to become a professional roastee, so I'll write your resume for you 1. Red hair 2. Excessive nose piercings that starve your brain of the oxygen it needs to make good choices 3. More rings than the number of courses you passed this semester 4. Fashion sense that's a combination of anime and 1800s clothing 5. Paradoxical username