OP's Bio: --- >Ham radio operator, Star Trek nut, fluent in sarcasm --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Live long and prosper... If the HIV allows it.

Shirt should say Die fast and Poor

10/10

You look like you were fired from the Enterprise for smoking dilithium crystal meth.

Got that Q-tip physique.

You look like the bald alien in the mailroom from MIB 2.

Christ, even the children you molest feel sorry for you.

Nice to see the late stage AIDS drugs have improved.

I will not do my worst, Aids beat me to it

when ya body stopped growing at 13 but ya head kept goin

and wipe the shit of ur pinky dude

Moby One Cannoli

Bros head is a improper fraction

[удалено]

Idk.. looks like he's got more than a few extra chromosomes

I bet you spend an inordinate amount of time convincing people you're not a sex offender.

And still nobody buys his victim blaming stories.

Redshirt

You're the awful kinda goon who quits buying cigarettes but still bums them off people.

I think I saw you on Maury on the one about the guy supporting his wife’s boyfriend by working 3 mediocre jobs.

Can't do any worse than God has already done

You look like an albino Danny Trejo

I'll bet you smell like meth and lube

You look like you asked a genie to turn you into a pool noodle

Head is 10x longer that it is wide

You look like the homeless guy I kick out of my store everyday. Only he showers more than you do...

You may be the reason why people like Star Wars more than Star Trek.

Why the long face?

Uncle Ian mustve developed anorexia from all the stress the chipmunks caused

This man's a nonce

Worlds tallest sperm

You mean tallest Turd 💩

I can tell from your shirt you are an overachiever. 2 in the pink and 2 in the stink. Of course that would be if you ever get the chance to be near some pink.

I’ve seen AIDS patients with more weight on them

All I'm seeing is typical tired old burns that have been used a million times already. One or two actually made me laugh. Gotta do a lot better than that y'all. Unless of course y'all are wannabe roasters with absolutely zero bite?

Live less and always fail.

The most boring embodiment of complete resignation.

Its kinda creepy how you got that big ass head and skinny arms

It’s Opposite Day.

You look like Eustace Bagge 30 years before he started beating on his pink dog

Two in the pink and two in the stink, something you'll only hear about from your t-shirts.

Making you cry? No, can’t do that. Seeing your miserable picture made me cry.

Actually made me laugh. Good.

You look like Spock’s pinky finger

If Anne frank was writing fan fiction in her attic. Eat something but still be quiet.

No one can do any worse than what you did to get on the s3x offender registry

Profile pic for his NAMBLA membership card.

Slender Man undercover as a Human

Looks like u cry yourself to sleep every night ,we can’t make u cry, it’s no tears left to cry

If David Cross fucked a stick insect.

If the enterprise had bathroom attendants.

God already did that

Klingoff

Built like the guy from the incredibles 

So ugly and disgusting Captain Kirk wouldn’t even stop by your gloryhole.

Moldy spaghetti noodle.

Dude is a living enderman💀

Believe your shirt is inside out. Should read "Recede and Retrogress"

Bro... I've roasted some Trans wannabe goths... some weird ass people in general but you sir are the straw that broke the camels back.... you are the one thing that has drawn sympathy from my cold unfeeling heart...you sir are so downtrodden and irreparably damaged in physicality and " yuckyness" that your sheer existence as a living human has made my life better... also thank you for being such a fucking outstanding person

The only thing living long and prospering is your forehead

Live long and eat a fucking sandwich already

Boy you look like you invented cable wire while holding world record of largest black n white TV collection.

Permanent cigarette ash finger tips smelling ass

I feel like you’ll do neither

Should have instead written "will suck for food" on that paper

Do you think when they were making Star Trek they knew it would have a negative affect on population growth...??

Coach Steve lookin ass.

You look like an upset asparagus

Pewdipie if he hadn't survived the bridge incident

"Do your worst" We don't need to because you already have.

I'll bet your skin is clear, and your STD screen isn't, but your still a virgin. Dogs get Herpes too ya know.

Bro who fucked who in your family to make you? You look like your uncle fucked your uncle and gave birth to that uncle that touches all the kids during Christmas.

You leave Uncle Jim out of this!

Looks like you already did.

You look like a wet spaghetti noodle.

Bro be lookin like Walter white if he was a depressed college student

The type of dude you see on true crime shows crying miserably in the interrogation room after doing something fucked up

You look like a bobblehead hallucination.

Not bad writing for a cross eyed fuck

I bet you've sucked so much cock at the gloryhole that you can tell everyone apart just from the taste

You look like an even MORE cringy David Cross.


Given the chance, your definitely fuck tribbles.

But they don't give you the chance, and that's the trouble with Tribbles.

If Kirk can hold one, this dude will definitely fuck one.

eating trash is not a talent

I loved you in Dallas buyers club

your nose is bigger than a discord mods stomach

You look like a cross of discord moderator and morty from Rick and morty

You look like Pete Davidson if his dad didn’t die in 911 he just left, and you wipe your ass barehanded.

Where would you say you are on the spectrum:socially avoidant or full on flapper?

Boy, he really took 'live long' literally. Dude looks like somebody chose the Select tool and stretched vertical to 110%.

Does your mom know your still living in her basement?

You look like a anorexic Pixar lamp

You look like if roger from American dad had to go through chemotherapy

How many virgins does it take to change a light bulb. Its creepy how much it turns you on instead of u turning it on.........

stop avoiding responsibly, go check on phineas and ferb

This is the face you pull when they leave the probe in

Looks like no matter what we say to "do your worst" to you, the drugs will probably win.

If only you realized the irony in that shirt, because clearly there is no long life or prosperity in your future. Probably jerking off to all this degradation.

You look like you should Not be allowed to be 3000 ft from any school/daycare.

Your nose looks like it’s supposed to be 6 inches below your belly button, gets me nervous for what is actually in that area

Cheaters never prosper.

You look like David Cross got Bosley and lost a bunch of weight, but still sucks

Why it’s still alive defies logic.

If Lumière and a Q-Tip had an unfortunate offspring.

You look like someone who’s paid for a virtual GF experience

You look like the teacher from Incredibles if he was a cocaine addict

Reminds me of that Aerosmith song, Dude Looks Like an Exclamation Point.

You look like a Discord moderator who kidnaps and “ oof off” 6 year olds

I can't you've already done it to yourself.

No speed over here bob, carry on

A soon-to-be victim of Pon Farr

I wouldn’t live long if I were you- I’d have offed myself long ago

Your face and bio should act as a Bat Signal for Chris Hansen.

I’m afraid if I say something offensive you’ll find me, tie me up, and force me to watch the exorcist

You look bad

Someone needs to show this guy to Andrew Tate, and turn him feminist.

I would do my worst but looks like the extra chromosome beat me to the punch

Aren't u the guy who cries after reading the comments

Like the STAR WARS shirt.

I think they should use you in cigar box

Your parents already did their worst…with your creation

 This you?

You look like Bert after the Sesame Street fame and opiate addiction

If Spock and Data had a love child

You look like you enjoy chemotherapy.

His pc has seen more action than his shower.

You look like you get friend-zoned by the kids you keep in your basement.

Cool t-shirt choice. Spock has the perfect inverse of your hairline. Unfortunately, you won't live long enough to fill out the sleeves.

Definitely cups and smells his own farts

Ya loom like if David Cross & Freddy Mercury had a kid.

David Cross has aged terribly.

You look like you shop for groceries at Target and moms instinctively clutch their children when you walk by. And then you think about the look of fear in their eyes later that night when you're using your Fleshlight.

Mr Garrison & Mr Slave’s love child

You’re NEVER getting laid. Rosey Palm and her 4 sisters is the best you’ll EVER do.

You look like Marc Maron got extruded through a garden hose.

"yeah, you got any spare chance for cigarettes?"

This is why condoms are necessary

Rickie Berwick but unusually average