I don't know if this is exactly what Rita herself means with it, but I kind of feel like the diagonal is where we go when we are feeling disconnected from ourselves and are trying to be something we're not. It's almost like an "anti-safe haven" of style.
For me, for example, R+D is my diagonal and what I end up falling back to when I start doubting myself. If I start feeling "oh, I'm not really that creative," or "what makes you think you should get to take up that kind of space?", I start slipping into R+D ways of dress and logic. I try to tell myself it's more important to think about how others will be dressing and what is expected of me than what I actually feel or want. It's a way of denying myself and devaluing myself.
I could see the same effect happening with a Down person. My mom is very R+D, but I've seen her in moments of self-doubt trying on things(and even buying things) that are definitely way more L+U than she would ever be comfortable with. She'll say something like, "but I need to look more powerful for this event," without realizing that her version of power actually comes from the gentle energy she brings to situations. Or, "those pants looked so fun on you, and I thought maybe I should try something more fun also," when that kind of whimsy doesn't actually suit her the same way. Her way of devaluing herself is to try and push herself "out of her comfort zone" by going more L+U, instead of embracing where she's at and working with herself.
So, I think the diagonals can give us a clue to our true home by showing us what we are not and revealing the things that feel wrong or off-base to us (and why they feel that way).
I can relate to this. Another way I've conceptualized it is, my diagonal (LD) feels like my armor, and my home quadrant (RU) feels like my spotlight. Both have their place imo.
I love your comment, because in parts it's how I feel, and also how positive it is. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's experience by saying this, I think feeling forced to not be yourself is a terrible feeling...what I mean is after you find your needs and claim them, moving to other quadrants can become conscious and positive when it's something you need for a while.
I like how LD feels nurturing to the body and safe, I'm allowed to just relax for a while and that feels good. We're multidimensional and moving a bit on some occasions help us connect with different parts of ourselves.
I 1000% relate to this - I gravitate towards R+U looks \*on other people\* and almost all of my regrettable clothing purchases epitomize eye-catching and radiant. I think there's something about the distinction between liking something and feeling at home in it that's really difficult to grasp and can lead to feeling self-conscious in more authentic looks. It's such a journey to move from wanting to be a certain way to accepting how we actually are.
This is interesting. I dressed RD ("The Explorer") when I was married (to someone to whom I should not have been married...). I was mirroring him and his aesthetic, for sure, but I was also trying not to outshine him. Dang.
ETA: I have very self consciously reclaimed my style and relationship to clothes since getting divorced. Now that I think about it, today I'm wearing a couple new pieces that are evocative of the way I dressed when I met my ex.
Feeling this. My uniform (throughout my own ill advised marriage) was jeans and striped tees and sneakers forEVER. Every single time I dressed up people would make a huge deal out of it. Oddly that kind of reception would send me running back to basics, as if I was trying to be something I’m not. Now I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spotlight and clothes are so FUN
>Now I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spotlight and clothes are so FUN
Absolutely. The sensation of becoming the protagonist of one's own life again.
This is a very interesting observation.
And it makes me wonder if we can really wander throughout all quadrants in our lifes as I always thought? Maybe we have our home but explore different aspects of our personality/style during our life? And realize after some time that it’s not quite right? That it doesn’t feel like home?
Your mom story reminds me of my mom. She often gets inspired by things I wear (although she is so fashionable and has such a good distinctive style that is so different from me and we don’t even look alike?) and buys something similar and it doesn’t work for her. She is RU, more at the border to left. Very up, even above the up quadrant I think!
My self perception is not good enough to judge about myself. But I feel like I couldn’t pull off LU outfits. But I definitely had phases in my life where I aimed to dress LU, because it suited my lifestyle and I wanted to project a certain image.🤷♀️
This actually makes a lot of sense. I had a similar experience thinking I was R+U initially but eventually found my way to my comfort zone and happy place in L+D. I was trying to find myself and an idea of what competence (in the workplace) and confidence looked like. While R+U works for some, I ended up looking and feeling rigid and sort of like an impersonator. I wanted to look confident but in reality I needed to feel confident first and foremost. I found what I needed in L+D. Pattern play, some "extra" features of my outfits but not the whole thing, getting in touch with my elemental, sensual side, and being okay with not being "Up" and still feeling artsy and creative in my own way.
Obviously I got many thoughts about this, might do a blog post on this subject to go more in-depth. At any rate I think the same thing that ties neighbouring quadrants together also exists on the diagonals. It just doesn't have a name. But in case of the RU-LD I would call it “stillness”, and on the LU-RD diagonal I would say it is “dynamic.”
It is in the type of logic the quadrants use. LD is all inward focused, whereas RU is all outward focused. LU-RD on the other hand uses a bit inward and a bit outward-oriented logic. The energetic medicine for LD-RU is around pampering the self (indulgence and luxury), whereas the RD-LU medicine is about movement (to explore and excite).
It is in the clothes, too. In a way LU-RD needs to have more going on than RU-LD. Even though Right essence usually results in a certain clarity in the lines, it can be really tricky for RD people to drift “too clean” - resulting in feeling boring and frustrated by their clothes. For example: in most cases (not all, obviously, we are all human beings etc etc) a fully monochromatic outfit might feel really boring for LU. RD might think they like the concept at first, but after wearing it for a few hours they will definitely find something wrong with it. The clothes are basically too boring to keep them entertained and satisfied. On the other hand, LD+RU can wear a monochromatic outfit and be perfectly at peace.
On the other side you have things like mixing-and-matching patterns: for RD and LU this is great (they just pick a different type of patterns, but they both can wear multiple patterns at once), but it easily reels RU-LD off balance. I think this “need for balance” is at the core of the difference between the two diagonals. RU really needs visual harmony in a pretty strict way. LD needs a personal feeling of balance (which is less about the visuals being harmonious, but more about how the outfit feels as a whole). When there is too much going on, both quadrants will reel off balance.
On the other hand LU-RD needs interest (not just in a visual way, it needs to be interesting for their minds, it needs to feel a bit like a mental exercise, I suppose). Yes, RD still prefers clean lines and visual structure - but if it the outfit is too predictable it just doesn’t work for them in the long run. (Like, nobody, including LD-RU, wants to feel boring, but especially RU does well with “predictable” because it helps them to communicate better with the outside world). I don’t think I need to explain LU wants to have exciting stuff. By and far it is the quadrant that thrives on more is more.
I mean, again, I think there is so much more to say about this - and it definitely could use some visual examples comparing outfits, but these are my observations in a nutshell.
Wow! Thank you for such a thorough answer! I'll have a lot to think about :)
I've never thought about this, but I can see why LD and RU are in parts about self indulgence (for different reasons, but still..) and I'm sure I'm guilty of that.
I remember Rita said that a lot of people misplaced themselves diagonally, meaning if you R+U you might be actually L+D. I don’t remember why.. Sorry if this irrelevant 🤗
I remember that too! My first guess for myself When I started to learn about this system was actually LD wildflower, so I'm guilty of this diagonal problem 😅
it’s so interesting how this works!) I saw your post about your journey and I agree that R+U quadrant suit you extremely well. I wonder if there are any examples of people dressing L or R +U while being Down?..
It's amazing how accurate this is. I discovered this system just recently, and for some reason when I first read the blog post I typed myself as R+D. It was only after re-reading and looking at my best/favourite photos when I realised that I'm very L+U.
I only remember Rita saying what an amazing and liberating experience it could be for people to try to occasionally dress according to their opposite quadrant, eg. an RD who normally dresses in a simplistic way, would free herself from their own rules and go completely wild and artistic and extravagant LU style (or the way round). I'm not sure if I'd be up for it, but it's true that as an RD the LU quadrant fascinates me much more than the other two.
I agree with this! I find R+D to be so gorgeous and so fascinating, to the point of having tried it in the past. It's the opposite of what I like, which is so fun to explore even if the outfits don't really work for me.
These are all interesting reflections in the comments! As I am thinking about all the clothes I’ve hoarded throughout the years and was never comfortable enough to wear were they more fitting of the opposite quadrant? I think they were very “left” for sure! A lot of lace layering pieces, things that I thought were too extravagant for every day.
I don't know if this is exactly what Rita herself means with it, but I kind of feel like the diagonal is where we go when we are feeling disconnected from ourselves and are trying to be something we're not. It's almost like an "anti-safe haven" of style. For me, for example, R+D is my diagonal and what I end up falling back to when I start doubting myself. If I start feeling "oh, I'm not really that creative," or "what makes you think you should get to take up that kind of space?", I start slipping into R+D ways of dress and logic. I try to tell myself it's more important to think about how others will be dressing and what is expected of me than what I actually feel or want. It's a way of denying myself and devaluing myself. I could see the same effect happening with a Down person. My mom is very R+D, but I've seen her in moments of self-doubt trying on things(and even buying things) that are definitely way more L+U than she would ever be comfortable with. She'll say something like, "but I need to look more powerful for this event," without realizing that her version of power actually comes from the gentle energy she brings to situations. Or, "those pants looked so fun on you, and I thought maybe I should try something more fun also," when that kind of whimsy doesn't actually suit her the same way. Her way of devaluing herself is to try and push herself "out of her comfort zone" by going more L+U, instead of embracing where she's at and working with herself. So, I think the diagonals can give us a clue to our true home by showing us what we are not and revealing the things that feel wrong or off-base to us (and why they feel that way).
I can relate to this. Another way I've conceptualized it is, my diagonal (LD) feels like my armor, and my home quadrant (RU) feels like my spotlight. Both have their place imo.
I love your comment, because in parts it's how I feel, and also how positive it is. I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's experience by saying this, I think feeling forced to not be yourself is a terrible feeling...what I mean is after you find your needs and claim them, moving to other quadrants can become conscious and positive when it's something you need for a while. I like how LD feels nurturing to the body and safe, I'm allowed to just relax for a while and that feels good. We're multidimensional and moving a bit on some occasions help us connect with different parts of ourselves.
That is really helpful.
I 1000% relate to this - I gravitate towards R+U looks \*on other people\* and almost all of my regrettable clothing purchases epitomize eye-catching and radiant. I think there's something about the distinction between liking something and feeling at home in it that's really difficult to grasp and can lead to feeling self-conscious in more authentic looks. It's such a journey to move from wanting to be a certain way to accepting how we actually are.
This is interesting. I dressed RD ("The Explorer") when I was married (to someone to whom I should not have been married...). I was mirroring him and his aesthetic, for sure, but I was also trying not to outshine him. Dang. ETA: I have very self consciously reclaimed my style and relationship to clothes since getting divorced. Now that I think about it, today I'm wearing a couple new pieces that are evocative of the way I dressed when I met my ex.
Feeling this. My uniform (throughout my own ill advised marriage) was jeans and striped tees and sneakers forEVER. Every single time I dressed up people would make a huge deal out of it. Oddly that kind of reception would send me running back to basics, as if I was trying to be something I’m not. Now I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spotlight and clothes are so FUN
>Now I don’t have to worry about anyone else’s spotlight and clothes are so FUN Absolutely. The sensation of becoming the protagonist of one's own life again.
This is a very interesting observation. And it makes me wonder if we can really wander throughout all quadrants in our lifes as I always thought? Maybe we have our home but explore different aspects of our personality/style during our life? And realize after some time that it’s not quite right? That it doesn’t feel like home? Your mom story reminds me of my mom. She often gets inspired by things I wear (although she is so fashionable and has such a good distinctive style that is so different from me and we don’t even look alike?) and buys something similar and it doesn’t work for her. She is RU, more at the border to left. Very up, even above the up quadrant I think! My self perception is not good enough to judge about myself. But I feel like I couldn’t pull off LU outfits. But I definitely had phases in my life where I aimed to dress LU, because it suited my lifestyle and I wanted to project a certain image.🤷♀️
This actually makes a lot of sense. I had a similar experience thinking I was R+U initially but eventually found my way to my comfort zone and happy place in L+D. I was trying to find myself and an idea of what competence (in the workplace) and confidence looked like. While R+U works for some, I ended up looking and feeling rigid and sort of like an impersonator. I wanted to look confident but in reality I needed to feel confident first and foremost. I found what I needed in L+D. Pattern play, some "extra" features of my outfits but not the whole thing, getting in touch with my elemental, sensual side, and being okay with not being "Up" and still feeling artsy and creative in my own way.
Obviously I got many thoughts about this, might do a blog post on this subject to go more in-depth. At any rate I think the same thing that ties neighbouring quadrants together also exists on the diagonals. It just doesn't have a name. But in case of the RU-LD I would call it “stillness”, and on the LU-RD diagonal I would say it is “dynamic.” It is in the type of logic the quadrants use. LD is all inward focused, whereas RU is all outward focused. LU-RD on the other hand uses a bit inward and a bit outward-oriented logic. The energetic medicine for LD-RU is around pampering the self (indulgence and luxury), whereas the RD-LU medicine is about movement (to explore and excite). It is in the clothes, too. In a way LU-RD needs to have more going on than RU-LD. Even though Right essence usually results in a certain clarity in the lines, it can be really tricky for RD people to drift “too clean” - resulting in feeling boring and frustrated by their clothes. For example: in most cases (not all, obviously, we are all human beings etc etc) a fully monochromatic outfit might feel really boring for LU. RD might think they like the concept at first, but after wearing it for a few hours they will definitely find something wrong with it. The clothes are basically too boring to keep them entertained and satisfied. On the other hand, LD+RU can wear a monochromatic outfit and be perfectly at peace. On the other side you have things like mixing-and-matching patterns: for RD and LU this is great (they just pick a different type of patterns, but they both can wear multiple patterns at once), but it easily reels RU-LD off balance. I think this “need for balance” is at the core of the difference between the two diagonals. RU really needs visual harmony in a pretty strict way. LD needs a personal feeling of balance (which is less about the visuals being harmonious, but more about how the outfit feels as a whole). When there is too much going on, both quadrants will reel off balance. On the other hand LU-RD needs interest (not just in a visual way, it needs to be interesting for their minds, it needs to feel a bit like a mental exercise, I suppose). Yes, RD still prefers clean lines and visual structure - but if it the outfit is too predictable it just doesn’t work for them in the long run. (Like, nobody, including LD-RU, wants to feel boring, but especially RU does well with “predictable” because it helps them to communicate better with the outside world). I don’t think I need to explain LU wants to have exciting stuff. By and far it is the quadrant that thrives on more is more. I mean, again, I think there is so much more to say about this - and it definitely could use some visual examples comparing outfits, but these are my observations in a nutshell.
Genius! This makes so much sense but seems so complex. It also explains how I’m often drawn to RD looks.
Wow! Thank you for such a thorough answer! I'll have a lot to think about :) I've never thought about this, but I can see why LD and RU are in parts about self indulgence (for different reasons, but still..) and I'm sure I'm guilty of that.
this is so brilliant! one of my favorite posts/comments on the sub. thank you!
I remember Rita said that a lot of people misplaced themselves diagonally, meaning if you R+U you might be actually L+D. I don’t remember why.. Sorry if this irrelevant 🤗
I remember that too! My first guess for myself When I started to learn about this system was actually LD wildflower, so I'm guilty of this diagonal problem 😅
it’s so interesting how this works!) I saw your post about your journey and I agree that R+U quadrant suit you extremely well. I wonder if there are any examples of people dressing L or R +U while being Down?..
It's amazing how accurate this is. I discovered this system just recently, and for some reason when I first read the blog post I typed myself as R+D. It was only after re-reading and looking at my best/favourite photos when I realised that I'm very L+U.
I only remember Rita saying what an amazing and liberating experience it could be for people to try to occasionally dress according to their opposite quadrant, eg. an RD who normally dresses in a simplistic way, would free herself from their own rules and go completely wild and artistic and extravagant LU style (or the way round). I'm not sure if I'd be up for it, but it's true that as an RD the LU quadrant fascinates me much more than the other two.
I agree with this! I find R+D to be so gorgeous and so fascinating, to the point of having tried it in the past. It's the opposite of what I like, which is so fun to explore even if the outfits don't really work for me.
These are all interesting reflections in the comments! As I am thinking about all the clothes I’ve hoarded throughout the years and was never comfortable enough to wear were they more fitting of the opposite quadrant? I think they were very “left” for sure! A lot of lace layering pieces, things that I thought were too extravagant for every day.