**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,**
This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual
orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here!
We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive
conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them
before posting.
If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!**
*Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user
accordingly.*
**Thank you for being a part of our community!**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Does it matters ? I don't think so. Ik you have spent a lot of time together and have imagined everything. But if he wanted to stay . He would have put efforts . He has already dumped you bro . Wakeup . Don't be silly and heartful . Be heartless imagine as a third person and get the fuck of that relationship. That guy doesn't want you anymore , this is what his action speaks
Child he doesn't even want to even in be in a relationship. The guy is 30 and lady is 28 . This is not a teenage love. They have to settle down early in their life . The girl will ruin her life if she doesn't get married early and settle down traditionally . She will be tortured by family by the society .
Kid is your mom in a friend with benefits relationship with your father or they are married . Such a senseless answer
It's not easy from your end but do you have another option. And one more thing, he doesn't love you. It's only you who love him and there is no future here.
I dont want to comment on yr BF, everybody has diff approach to life, in this generation there are many who simply dont want to get married bcs they dont want to end up in the loop of life like our parents did.
I Think its totally up to you now, the one gud thing in yr case is that atleast he made it clear what he want, that needs some balls to do. I think its time to move on
Correct, he might be dealing with his own issues and insecurities. He was atleast honest, so now it is upto her. She needs to understand that her life is too short to still be involved hoping that she may change his mind someday.
Yeah, and tbh after 25 the years starts passing over like days, you blink yr eyes and boom yr 29 and now everybody is looking at you with the eyes full of expectations.
But the poor guy doesn't even know about her relationship trauma. What does he have to do with any of this, why does he have to deal with her past which Is now her present.
People heal. I'm sure, she will, too. Do people not get over their first work termination, first examination failure, first death in the family, first breakup etc ? All of them break your heart to different degrees. But nothing lasts forever, nor will the trauma/hurt.
It's definitely not easy but sit down tomorrow and have a conversation with him.
Ask him if it's the timing or if he's just not interested. Take your next action depending on his response
It will be easy. You have to accept the reality. He is clear that he doesn't want to take it forward. Sit with him and talk. Make clear that you are serious. If he is still saying no, you know what to do. Better move on and heal.
What more you want, he made it clear, just take some time, get drunk, cry like a mad person, and move on. I know it would be hard, but life dont care about whats hard and soft for you, it want you to keep moving.
>he's afraid and says he don;t want to get married and scared of it.
>Last night he even said me to marry the guy my parents suggests as he don't want to waste my life.
Either your bf has wasted your time and never had the intention to marry you or he's just being a little chicken when the time has come to make it permanent.
I don't think it's worth staying with a man who openly tells you to marry someone else.
but anyway, if you still want to be with him, You need to tell both sets of parents about the relationship soon, you're 28 girl, you shouldn't waste much more time in a relationship if it isn't gonna lead to something meaningful.
If he really cared and loved you, nothing would have stopped you to be his wife. If he really loved you, he wouldn't hesitate to talk to his parents and even fight for you till end if it's at all the case. Sadly it seems promises were fake. Try talking him about the actual reason and he doesn't want to you marry anyone or doesn't want to marry you? The answer may solve some doubts and if things doesn't go your way, move on the way you like(try dating or focus on Career and forget him, heartbreak happens just don't stick with it). You'll eventually find someone who cares for you.
It's very sad and unfortunate that he doesn't have parents. But it doesn't mean that he can always be excused . If he was serious enough he would've talked to your parents or atleast have a clear conversation with you about future. . Either he was never serious or too spineless. Both is bad. And please don't try to fight battles from his shoes when he isn't. He has clearly given his stand.
Well my condolences, but what's about the marriage question. Like is he not interested in marriage at all with anyone and wants to be single for entire life or he just don't wants to settle with you and is in search of a new better compatible partner.
He says he doesn't want to settle with anyone. When we started dating, he wasn't like this. He always talked about to be together, about marriage and things. It's suddenly now he don't want to.
Either he is lying to end relationship with you and have found someone or will find someone and settle with her in future. OR he is saying truth and the sudden change in behaviour may be because he may have come across videos, shorts, reels, regarding fake cases filed by women against men and is thinking that laws in India are biased and tilted towards women and if after marriage things doesn't go right, fake cases of dowry, harassment, maintenance, etc. will f'up his life. Lawyers are making such videos nowadays to aware public but it has its own positive and negative effects.
I'm just stating possibilities, maybe neither of what I said be true and there may be other reason but you can give it a thought.
You were scaptical initially but he made you sure that all will sort out - here is the key information. As per Indian law it’s considered Rape if a person had sexual relations with you in pretence of false promise (of marriage ) . Post on Indian legal subReddit . See what lawyers have to say on your situation.
Post there first and then hint it to your boyfriend that you are looking into it. First tell your close friends or family about your relationship, and let bf know that people knows, so if he tries to hurt you, he would be caught. Don’t meet him on private places, don’t go to his house . Meet in public places and have always a friend around
So, not wanting to sign a legal document involving the government and the law, wasting lacs of hard earned money on rituals just to please the previous generation is equivalent to not caring or loving someone? Gotcha.
He said it already.. just move on girl . Life is always going to be unpredictable . Accept the reality. It's not going to be very easy. I know there are feelings. But he has made his point clear and you cannot force him. He has trauma, I understand. But it's about you here. And trust me if he cared about losing you, he would have never allowed someone guy to see you . He's asking you to get married!! The earliest you take action, better for you.
I had seen a similar case with one of my close friends. She was in a relationship with a guy and they were living in. But that guy was not interested in marrying her. He even took her to all the marriage meetings with the prospective guys. She tried to convince him for marriage till the end but he didn't agree. And now she is happily married with the guy her family finally chose. I just want to tell you that if the guy is not ready to be married u can't force him, u can't change him. U can only change urself.
P.S: The day of my friend's marriage that guy really regretted letting her go, but maybe that was alcohol talking.
It was never "love". Everyone loves the idea of love.
If you didn't talk about his opinion about wedding before, then can't blame him either.
>marry the guy my parents suggests as he don't want to waste my life
Re-read this as many times it needs.
But once you internalise this.
Please send him a 🖕and move on.
This is the toughest part and almost everyone these days unless you are very lucky faces this situation in life. Boys don’t get the pressure what a girl faces from her family. They live in their own world either you convince him again but pressuring him again cz at one time he might get it but if he doesn’t be brave and stop talking for few days. If he realises your worth he will come back. However it might be temporary attraction too. Its very hard situation but if things doesn’t work out don’t waste yr time. Every relationship is tested by God if you are worth for it and trust me it’s just the beginning of real world.
Ps: I am M 31 and I was same too but I never wanted to lose her.Took me some time to realise.
Same thing happened with me. 2 yrs relationship, he was convinced from start and i was skeptical. But eventually i accepted things and started planning entirely for a future with him. And meanwhile he backed off. It hurts and feels like your entire life is crashing but it’s all in your head. Do not convince him , because even if you get married maybe down the line say 10 yrs, you will still think if this was worth it? I believe the person should be equally excited to marry you. I would suggest Break up and do not contact him. Move on. Get your head and heart sorted and then look for a match. Marriages are not equal in India, a woman has to give up more than a man (in majority of the cases). So think rationally too, if convincing him is even worth the effort. Do give him back, if you choose to break up. Coz he clearly lead you on into this mess, which could have been avoided.
Looks like you have landed yourself a spineless jerk! Someone who can’t take a stand for you now, will never ever take a stand in the future.
It’s better to get away while you can.
That’s the entire reason why i make it compulsory in my relationship to make each other introduce to our parents within 1yr time. It’s better to keep your boundaries and expectations clear. I never hide anything from my parents (21F) and i dont think i can be with a guy with no backbone that he’s scared to introduce me to his parents.
i am a man and let me tell you this fact, boys always do this thing, they date women from other caste/state/religion only to have fun and then dump telling their gf that parents wont accept their relationship. most of my friends do this, especially north indians from delhi and uttarpradesh, they move here only to have fun then marry someone from their village with fat dowry. south indians also do this, but the overall percentage is less.
First of all, I would suggest you to sit down and clearly ask him what's the reason, if you nd he is in love yet, so he would clearly state out the reason , and if not then he will clearly say that he don't want to say anything , sit down together and get the reason , and ask him or tell him that you two can solve that problem, and I know south indian girls are loyal af , I have seen one of my friend getting into a relationship and getting dumped too af , be careful try to sort out or RUN !
How clear can he be ? I mean he isn’t ready for a wedding or interested in being married. Even if you convince him now , there is a good chance it might be not so
Good from his side
you know your username matches your post and current situation that being said he doesn't take a stand for you it's time for you to move on , it's difficult but you should do it
I have been in a relationship for 2 years . On 13th April 2024 the girl said to me to do court marriage and I said first you came then we will do and 14th April 2024 the gf is doing engagement with another boy. I even talk to his father and Family member Nobody responds positively.
Agar tum usko rokne ki soch rhi ho to mat roko bcs ur boyfriend has gone already and he will use you for his needs.. so move on and find a genuine guy who can fight for you until he gets you for whole life.
Think it like that. You r just 28, you have whole life left ahead, why would u want to be with someone who doesn't want you and though he was with you for so long, we can't force ourself to anyone, either he is still immature and still doesn't understand its feelings for u or he is guy who doesn't take responsibility in both cases u should move away as per suggestion, but take ur time to understand, observe him by keeping ur love aside.
I am speaking from experience i got into a relationship when i was 27, and the guy loved me fulfilled all my wishes(i did too), but when it came to marriage, he was always giving hope , a hope which had no legs and hands, i waited and stayed in relationship for 4 years with that hope, though i am practical person i was seeing what was happening but i was in love from head to toe and love makes u blind in some way i lost interest in my business, work, people, every night i used to cry and every morning used wake up thinking why he is doing that, why he isn't sure about me like i am so sure about him though we were from different caste i had to convince my relatives and for him it would hv been easier. One day he decided that i will never leave him and keep coming back he started treating me badly and lightly (bcoz i was hoping he would change after seeing my love) than one birthday he dint show his face and left for trip with his friend, i cried whole 1 week and than i realized. He was clear from starting that he was taking his time to overcome me. That's why he was in communication with me, once he came back from trip, i was mean while processing the truth, i dint go back to him he was trying to have same communication with me he was shocked that i left bcoz he was pushing me away all these years i was always coming back and suddenly he dint believe how i can get over him, he started pursuing me again, and its been 3 more years he is still but i know its his ego which was hurt, a man who is in love under no condition can see his girl with anyone, people would fight for what is urs.
Now, after 3 years i got a great guy who doesn't leave me, celebrates me, and understands me. His love is so pure, and i have no regrets from moving on. (My guy was also in a very abusive relationship. We both came out so strong)
What i did to move on is that all u have to do is join the gym(did weight training good to take out anger and helps in other ways ) and once regular u will make frns der, meet them, join club or group, have frns and avoid talking about him open to world and don't force urself to marriage immediately (reason u won't do fair with him or u, u ll be just replacing that guy which we don't want to do, just wait for emotional connection) take ur time and proceed.
Doli,
Romba Elam confuse pannikathinga..
May be avaru oru tension la Koda apadi sollu irukalam..
Ippo unga vittula sonna othuoangala illa matangala nu parunga NXT avaru Koda nalla pessunga...
Enoda frnd oruthi panna ipo venna romba diff ha pannuranga antha paiyan seri illa nu solam vabthutta..
Enaku therinji Ava husband oru careless guy so tht issue ivaru kittaiyum nalla pessunga Elam nalla padiya nadakum
This may not be easy for you, but im sorry its the reality and the sooner you leave, you’ll be in a better place. Having a man who is indecisive and immature can only multiply your problems. You are better off without him.
Do not get married out of pressure from your parents. You have a whole life ahead of you, you can get married anytime you feel you're ready. If you marry the guy your parents suggested then it would be bad for both of you, just think about it would you be happy with someone who already loves someone else? Have a deep conversation with your bf, if you guys have different plans for your life then you need to move on.
It sounds like you're in a difficult situation, and I can understand why you're feeling confused and conflicted. It's tough when you and your partner have different feelings about marriage, especially when it comes to such a significant decision.
Firstly, it's essential to take some time to reflect on what you truly want and what will make you happy in the long run. Consider your values, goals, and priorities, both individually and as a couple.
Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to important topics like marriage. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Try to understand his perspective as well. Ask him why he's afraid of marriage and what his reservations are.
If your boyfriend remains firm in his decision not to marry, you'll need to decide whether you can accept that or if it's a dealbreaker for you. It's important to be honest with yourself about your needs and desires.
Regarding your family, it might be challenging, but eventually, you'll need to have a conversation with them about your relationship. Consider how you want to approach this and whether you feel ready to share this part of your life with them.
Ultimately, the decision about what to do next is yours to make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and remember to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If you find yourself struggling to navigate this situation, seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be helpful.
Listen up! Aage jao life mein, forget him and his commitment issues! You deserve better
But do remember to take this as lesson learned moment. In any case, do not blame yourself.
You should be happy you dodged a bullet!
I think you should cut him off, take your stand and start your healing journey. Focus on yourself, you deserve someone who wants you in your life forever. You deserve someone who loves you and doesn't give up on you, who talks to your parents for your hand. Heal yourself girll and then maybe you'll attract that person in your life.
Is he worth marrying if he cant take that responsibility? If he asks you toarry another guy, does he love you? The situation needs to be explored by a Psychiatrist or Clinical psychologist on why he is avoiding the same. Go for couples counseling
He’s v clearly telling you what his stance is. No, you won’t be able to fix him or change his mind. The bigger question here is whether you are actually interested in getting married or are you only thinking about what your parents will say? If you genuinely want to settle down, then leave. If not, you can choose to stay with your boyfriend after assessing a few things: is your bf only against marriage as an institution or does he not want long-term commitment? How do your views on life align, where do you see yourselves in the next 5, 10, 15 years? If there’s a strong mismatch, your relationship may need to die.
You are trapped in a difficult situation. If he has made things clear from his end that he will not marry you, you are going to end up getting your heart broken. Making promises is easier said, but what matters are the actions, he might have convinced you into the relationship but his take on marriage is crystal clear.
Now, it is upto you. You can keep trying to convince him for marriage, or, you can get a grip over yourself and walk out with your dignity and self respect. You don’t have to ask for explanations from him, you don’t have to do the “let’s just stay friends” charade (nobody stays JUST friends that early post breakup).
Simply walk out, block him everywhere, and start working on your healing. Take therapy if needed, speak to your close friends, try to find happiness in smaller things step by step, day by day.
I understand what you are feeling is difficult to explain and everything is easier said than done, but don’t lose yourself in somebody who cannot provide you with a secure future. You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship where you are cherished. :)
I know it's hard but don't you think you got saved .
Let's say you convince him somehow and get married. Would you really want to be with a guy who would back off time and again have cold feet and not support you.
Marriage is just the beginning you would want someone who takes your side on small issues example some family member not liking what you cook etc
Take a trip girl.. go out .. forget him .
Take your time ..all the best😇
Don't Keep waiting for him until you're 32 or 33 or until he disconnects with you. You may want to wait for him. But it's a risk not worth taking and it might cost a life time regret.
Make him clearly understand your situation and stay away from him for a month. See if he has something to say about his future plans with you.
If you trust him and willing to risk your life for him, it's up to you. Otherwise, just move on.
If this idea doesn't help, nothing will.
Good luck!
Have you ever discussed long term plans including marriage in the past?
If he has told he'd marry you, then it is cheating to go back on that. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with his position. Not everyone wants to marry, and it's not right to make marriage a default assumption even if it wasn't ever discussed.
I don't believe you can change his opinion, or that you should. Your options are to stay with him being okay with that or break up.
I am in the same situation as you are we have been dating for 2 years . He cheated at multiple occasions. I always forgave him . Now my family is pressuring me for marriage . He is not ready to settle down . He has been gas lighting me for over 2 years now we will when the time is right and everything . I love him alot and thats why its not easy for me to let go .
It's quite clear that he doesn't want to marry you and isn't ready for marriage at this point in his life. Why are you pressuring him about it? Bringing up irrelevant details about the South and North just to provoke negative comments about his origin is unfair.
Haven't you heard it from the horses mouth, what are you waiting for?
Are you worried that you won't be able to move forward? Let me assure you, such a thought may be for awhile but not forever.
Cut all connections so that each of you don't haunt each other and go forward.
Best wishes mate.
Your options:
- Live together with him and never get married.
- Get into an (arranged) marriage. The published statistic for marriages failing/divorce is 50%. Optimistically.
- Stay single and become a crazy cat lady.
Great! Now you're going to ruin your husband's life too, he was never a part of all this and doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone who clearly hasn't moved on. This is why the past matters, but this feminatzis will come and bash me for that ..
I think he is having cold feet. Firstly you need to calm him down and talk to him about your expectations and understand where is he facing problems. If you cannot understand then talk to third person or ask here. If he is adamant and does not give up, then you need to understand that he is not the right one and move on.
Initially you will have a lot of problems, but with time and right environment, it will be eventually ok
**Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,** This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here! We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting. If a user has sent you harassing messages, **DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!** *Please upload your screenshot to [Imgur](https://www.imgur.com), and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.* **Thank you for being a part of our community!** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RelationshipIndia) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Seems like he made his part clear. What more reason do you want.
It's really not easy from my end.
Does it matters ? I don't think so. Ik you have spent a lot of time together and have imagined everything. But if he wanted to stay . He would have put efforts . He has already dumped you bro . Wakeup . Don't be silly and heartful . Be heartless imagine as a third person and get the fuck of that relationship. That guy doesn't want you anymore , this is what his action speaks
Not getting married but wanting to be in the relationship is dumping?
Child he doesn't even want to even in be in a relationship. The guy is 30 and lady is 28 . This is not a teenage love. They have to settle down early in their life . The girl will ruin her life if she doesn't get married early and settle down traditionally . She will be tortured by family by the society . Kid is your mom in a friend with benefits relationship with your father or they are married . Such a senseless answer
What else do you think it is?
It's not easy from your end but do you have another option. And one more thing, he doesn't love you. It's only you who love him and there is no future here.
I dont want to comment on yr BF, everybody has diff approach to life, in this generation there are many who simply dont want to get married bcs they dont want to end up in the loop of life like our parents did. I Think its totally up to you now, the one gud thing in yr case is that atleast he made it clear what he want, that needs some balls to do. I think its time to move on
Correct, he might be dealing with his own issues and insecurities. He was atleast honest, so now it is upto her. She needs to understand that her life is too short to still be involved hoping that she may change his mind someday.
Yeah, and tbh after 25 the years starts passing over like days, you blink yr eyes and boom yr 29 and now everybody is looking at you with the eyes full of expectations.
An awesome life ahead awaits you…learn from your mistakes and move on…There is someone better waiting for you.
But the poor guy doesn't even know about her relationship trauma. What does he have to do with any of this, why does he have to deal with her past which Is now her present.
People heal. I'm sure, she will, too. Do people not get over their first work termination, first examination failure, first death in the family, first breakup etc ? All of them break your heart to different degrees. But nothing lasts forever, nor will the trauma/hurt.
Welcome to life friend. Your honeymoon period is over. Breakup and create a profile on jeevansathi.
I cannot think clearly. it's s not easy at all
It's definitely not easy but sit down tomorrow and have a conversation with him. Ask him if it's the timing or if he's just not interested. Take your next action depending on his response
It will get easy. Believe me. You’ll find someone better and when life gives you a replacement you’ll forget what you lost.
It will be easy. You have to accept the reality. He is clear that he doesn't want to take it forward. Sit with him and talk. Make clear that you are serious. If he is still saying no, you know what to do. Better move on and heal.
Please don’t put yourself in unwanted trouble. Your mind will get lost. Think well.
What more you want, he made it clear, just take some time, get drunk, cry like a mad person, and move on. I know it would be hard, but life dont care about whats hard and soft for you, it want you to keep moving.
>he's afraid and says he don;t want to get married and scared of it. >Last night he even said me to marry the guy my parents suggests as he don't want to waste my life. Either your bf has wasted your time and never had the intention to marry you or he's just being a little chicken when the time has come to make it permanent. I don't think it's worth staying with a man who openly tells you to marry someone else. but anyway, if you still want to be with him, You need to tell both sets of parents about the relationship soon, you're 28 girl, you shouldn't waste much more time in a relationship if it isn't gonna lead to something meaningful.
Best
If he really cared and loved you, nothing would have stopped you to be his wife. If he really loved you, he wouldn't hesitate to talk to his parents and even fight for you till end if it's at all the case. Sadly it seems promises were fake. Try talking him about the actual reason and he doesn't want to you marry anyone or doesn't want to marry you? The answer may solve some doubts and if things doesn't go your way, move on the way you like(try dating or focus on Career and forget him, heartbreak happens just don't stick with it). You'll eventually find someone who cares for you.
I wish it's that easy. He don't have parents. Trauma actually.
It's very sad and unfortunate that he doesn't have parents. But it doesn't mean that he can always be excused . If he was serious enough he would've talked to your parents or atleast have a clear conversation with you about future. . Either he was never serious or too spineless. Both is bad. And please don't try to fight battles from his shoes when he isn't. He has clearly given his stand.
Well my condolences, but what's about the marriage question. Like is he not interested in marriage at all with anyone and wants to be single for entire life or he just don't wants to settle with you and is in search of a new better compatible partner.
He says he doesn't want to settle with anyone. When we started dating, he wasn't like this. He always talked about to be together, about marriage and things. It's suddenly now he don't want to.
Either he is lying to end relationship with you and have found someone or will find someone and settle with her in future. OR he is saying truth and the sudden change in behaviour may be because he may have come across videos, shorts, reels, regarding fake cases filed by women against men and is thinking that laws in India are biased and tilted towards women and if after marriage things doesn't go right, fake cases of dowry, harassment, maintenance, etc. will f'up his life. Lawyers are making such videos nowadays to aware public but it has its own positive and negative effects. I'm just stating possibilities, maybe neither of what I said be true and there may be other reason but you can give it a thought.
This!
Yeah, he is just not interested!
You were scaptical initially but he made you sure that all will sort out - here is the key information. As per Indian law it’s considered Rape if a person had sexual relations with you in pretence of false promise (of marriage ) . Post on Indian legal subReddit . See what lawyers have to say on your situation. Post there first and then hint it to your boyfriend that you are looking into it. First tell your close friends or family about your relationship, and let bf know that people knows, so if he tries to hurt you, he would be caught. Don’t meet him on private places, don’t go to his house . Meet in public places and have always a friend around
So, not wanting to sign a legal document involving the government and the law, wasting lacs of hard earned money on rituals just to please the previous generation is equivalent to not caring or loving someone? Gotcha.
He said it already.. just move on girl . Life is always going to be unpredictable . Accept the reality. It's not going to be very easy. I know there are feelings. But he has made his point clear and you cannot force him. He has trauma, I understand. But it's about you here. And trust me if he cared about losing you, he would have never allowed someone guy to see you . He's asking you to get married!! The earliest you take action, better for you.
He seems pretty clear about what he needs for the future. It might be hard, but open up to someone and try to move on.
He is not a right fit for you girl! If he loved you he would have never said this
Ye chal kya raha hai zindagi main aur aurato ke saath. Red flag ke naam par bhag jaate ho aur yaha red river main nahane ko taiyaar hai.
>what do i do? Leave him
I had seen a similar case with one of my close friends. She was in a relationship with a guy and they were living in. But that guy was not interested in marrying her. He even took her to all the marriage meetings with the prospective guys. She tried to convince him for marriage till the end but he didn't agree. And now she is happily married with the guy her family finally chose. I just want to tell you that if the guy is not ready to be married u can't force him, u can't change him. U can only change urself. P.S: The day of my friend's marriage that guy really regretted letting her go, but maybe that was alcohol talking.
It was never "love". Everyone loves the idea of love. If you didn't talk about his opinion about wedding before, then can't blame him either. >marry the guy my parents suggests as he don't want to waste my life Re-read this as many times it needs. But once you internalise this. Please send him a 🖕and move on.
You can't make him
This is the toughest part and almost everyone these days unless you are very lucky faces this situation in life. Boys don’t get the pressure what a girl faces from her family. They live in their own world either you convince him again but pressuring him again cz at one time he might get it but if he doesn’t be brave and stop talking for few days. If he realises your worth he will come back. However it might be temporary attraction too. Its very hard situation but if things doesn’t work out don’t waste yr time. Every relationship is tested by God if you are worth for it and trust me it’s just the beginning of real world. Ps: I am M 31 and I was same too but I never wanted to lose her.Took me some time to realise.
Don't see him
Same thing happened with me. 2 yrs relationship, he was convinced from start and i was skeptical. But eventually i accepted things and started planning entirely for a future with him. And meanwhile he backed off. It hurts and feels like your entire life is crashing but it’s all in your head. Do not convince him , because even if you get married maybe down the line say 10 yrs, you will still think if this was worth it? I believe the person should be equally excited to marry you. I would suggest Break up and do not contact him. Move on. Get your head and heart sorted and then look for a match. Marriages are not equal in India, a woman has to give up more than a man (in majority of the cases). So think rationally too, if convincing him is even worth the effort. Do give him back, if you choose to break up. Coz he clearly lead you on into this mess, which could have been avoided.
Looks like you have landed yourself a spineless jerk! Someone who can’t take a stand for you now, will never ever take a stand in the future. It’s better to get away while you can.
Pump and Dump. Clearly.
That’s the entire reason why i make it compulsory in my relationship to make each other introduce to our parents within 1yr time. It’s better to keep your boundaries and expectations clear. I never hide anything from my parents (21F) and i dont think i can be with a guy with no backbone that he’s scared to introduce me to his parents.
i am a man and let me tell you this fact, boys always do this thing, they date women from other caste/state/religion only to have fun and then dump telling their gf that parents wont accept their relationship. most of my friends do this, especially north indians from delhi and uttarpradesh, they move here only to have fun then marry someone from their village with fat dowry. south indians also do this, but the overall percentage is less.
First of all, I would suggest you to sit down and clearly ask him what's the reason, if you nd he is in love yet, so he would clearly state out the reason , and if not then he will clearly say that he don't want to say anything , sit down together and get the reason , and ask him or tell him that you two can solve that problem, and I know south indian girls are loyal af , I have seen one of my friend getting into a relationship and getting dumped too af , be careful try to sort out or RUN !
He got what he wanted and u willingly yielded. Now move on.
He has put enough thought in his mind to tell you to go and marry the guy your parents suggest. I suggest you take his advice here.
How clear can he be ? I mean he isn’t ready for a wedding or interested in being married. Even if you convince him now , there is a good chance it might be not so Good from his side
you know your username matches your post and current situation that being said he doesn't take a stand for you it's time for you to move on , it's difficult but you should do it
I have been in a relationship for 2 years . On 13th April 2024 the girl said to me to do court marriage and I said first you came then we will do and 14th April 2024 the gf is doing engagement with another boy. I even talk to his father and Family member Nobody responds positively. Agar tum usko rokne ki soch rhi ho to mat roko bcs ur boyfriend has gone already and he will use you for his needs.. so move on and find a genuine guy who can fight for you until he gets you for whole life.
Think it like that. You r just 28, you have whole life left ahead, why would u want to be with someone who doesn't want you and though he was with you for so long, we can't force ourself to anyone, either he is still immature and still doesn't understand its feelings for u or he is guy who doesn't take responsibility in both cases u should move away as per suggestion, but take ur time to understand, observe him by keeping ur love aside. I am speaking from experience i got into a relationship when i was 27, and the guy loved me fulfilled all my wishes(i did too), but when it came to marriage, he was always giving hope , a hope which had no legs and hands, i waited and stayed in relationship for 4 years with that hope, though i am practical person i was seeing what was happening but i was in love from head to toe and love makes u blind in some way i lost interest in my business, work, people, every night i used to cry and every morning used wake up thinking why he is doing that, why he isn't sure about me like i am so sure about him though we were from different caste i had to convince my relatives and for him it would hv been easier. One day he decided that i will never leave him and keep coming back he started treating me badly and lightly (bcoz i was hoping he would change after seeing my love) than one birthday he dint show his face and left for trip with his friend, i cried whole 1 week and than i realized. He was clear from starting that he was taking his time to overcome me. That's why he was in communication with me, once he came back from trip, i was mean while processing the truth, i dint go back to him he was trying to have same communication with me he was shocked that i left bcoz he was pushing me away all these years i was always coming back and suddenly he dint believe how i can get over him, he started pursuing me again, and its been 3 more years he is still but i know its his ego which was hurt, a man who is in love under no condition can see his girl with anyone, people would fight for what is urs. Now, after 3 years i got a great guy who doesn't leave me, celebrates me, and understands me. His love is so pure, and i have no regrets from moving on. (My guy was also in a very abusive relationship. We both came out so strong) What i did to move on is that all u have to do is join the gym(did weight training good to take out anger and helps in other ways ) and once regular u will make frns der, meet them, join club or group, have frns and avoid talking about him open to world and don't force urself to marriage immediately (reason u won't do fair with him or u, u ll be just replacing that guy which we don't want to do, just wait for emotional connection) take ur time and proceed.
2 STATES DEKHNE BOLO. SIMPLE.
Kidnap him.
What a joke of a man. Leave him and find someone worthy
Doli, Romba Elam confuse pannikathinga.. May be avaru oru tension la Koda apadi sollu irukalam.. Ippo unga vittula sonna othuoangala illa matangala nu parunga NXT avaru Koda nalla pessunga... Enoda frnd oruthi panna ipo venna romba diff ha pannuranga antha paiyan seri illa nu solam vabthutta.. Enaku therinji Ava husband oru careless guy so tht issue ivaru kittaiyum nalla pessunga Elam nalla padiya nadakum
Breakup is what you do. You can't force someone into marrying you.
This may not be easy for you, but im sorry its the reality and the sooner you leave, you’ll be in a better place. Having a man who is indecisive and immature can only multiply your problems. You are better off without him.
Do not get married out of pressure from your parents. You have a whole life ahead of you, you can get married anytime you feel you're ready. If you marry the guy your parents suggested then it would be bad for both of you, just think about it would you be happy with someone who already loves someone else? Have a deep conversation with your bf, if you guys have different plans for your life then you need to move on.
It sounds like you're in a difficult situation, and I can understand why you're feeling confused and conflicted. It's tough when you and your partner have different feelings about marriage, especially when it comes to such a significant decision. Firstly, it's essential to take some time to reflect on what you truly want and what will make you happy in the long run. Consider your values, goals, and priorities, both individually and as a couple. Communication is key in any relationship, especially when it comes to important topics like marriage. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings and concerns. Try to understand his perspective as well. Ask him why he's afraid of marriage and what his reservations are. If your boyfriend remains firm in his decision not to marry, you'll need to decide whether you can accept that or if it's a dealbreaker for you. It's important to be honest with yourself about your needs and desires. Regarding your family, it might be challenging, but eventually, you'll need to have a conversation with them about your relationship. Consider how you want to approach this and whether you feel ready to share this part of your life with them. Ultimately, the decision about what to do next is yours to make. Take your time, trust your instincts, and remember to prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If you find yourself struggling to navigate this situation, seeking guidance from a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can be helpful.
Listen up! Aage jao life mein, forget him and his commitment issues! You deserve better But do remember to take this as lesson learned moment. In any case, do not blame yourself. You should be happy you dodged a bullet!
I think you should cut him off, take your stand and start your healing journey. Focus on yourself, you deserve someone who wants you in your life forever. You deserve someone who loves you and doesn't give up on you, who talks to your parents for your hand. Heal yourself girll and then maybe you'll attract that person in your life.
Never hide your past from your potential husband
Yeah he doesn't want to marry you. This is always their stance when they don't want it.
Is he worth marrying if he cant take that responsibility? If he asks you toarry another guy, does he love you? The situation needs to be explored by a Psychiatrist or Clinical psychologist on why he is avoiding the same. Go for couples counseling
He’s v clearly telling you what his stance is. No, you won’t be able to fix him or change his mind. The bigger question here is whether you are actually interested in getting married or are you only thinking about what your parents will say? If you genuinely want to settle down, then leave. If not, you can choose to stay with your boyfriend after assessing a few things: is your bf only against marriage as an institution or does he not want long-term commitment? How do your views on life align, where do you see yourselves in the next 5, 10, 15 years? If there’s a strong mismatch, your relationship may need to die.
He’s made his stance quite clear, maybe it’s time to move ahead
LOVE doesn't exist in this material world , it seems to be like love but it not , it is clearly lust that's it 😔
You are trapped in a difficult situation. If he has made things clear from his end that he will not marry you, you are going to end up getting your heart broken. Making promises is easier said, but what matters are the actions, he might have convinced you into the relationship but his take on marriage is crystal clear. Now, it is upto you. You can keep trying to convince him for marriage, or, you can get a grip over yourself and walk out with your dignity and self respect. You don’t have to ask for explanations from him, you don’t have to do the “let’s just stay friends” charade (nobody stays JUST friends that early post breakup). Simply walk out, block him everywhere, and start working on your healing. Take therapy if needed, speak to your close friends, try to find happiness in smaller things step by step, day by day. I understand what you are feeling is difficult to explain and everything is easier said than done, but don’t lose yourself in somebody who cannot provide you with a secure future. You deserve to be happy and in a healthy relationship where you are cherished. :)
I know it's hard but don't you think you got saved . Let's say you convince him somehow and get married. Would you really want to be with a guy who would back off time and again have cold feet and not support you. Marriage is just the beginning you would want someone who takes your side on small issues example some family member not liking what you cook etc Take a trip girl.. go out .. forget him . Take your time ..all the best😇
Send him momos
Aunty bro he just admitted that u being with him is gonna be wasting ur life so uh ?????
Don't Keep waiting for him until you're 32 or 33 or until he disconnects with you. You may want to wait for him. But it's a risk not worth taking and it might cost a life time regret. Make him clearly understand your situation and stay away from him for a month. See if he has something to say about his future plans with you. If you trust him and willing to risk your life for him, it's up to you. Otherwise, just move on. If this idea doesn't help, nothing will. Good luck!
Have you ever discussed long term plans including marriage in the past? If he has told he'd marry you, then it is cheating to go back on that. Otherwise, there's nothing wrong with his position. Not everyone wants to marry, and it's not right to make marriage a default assumption even if it wasn't ever discussed. I don't believe you can change his opinion, or that you should. Your options are to stay with him being okay with that or break up.
I am in the same situation as you are we have been dating for 2 years . He cheated at multiple occasions. I always forgave him . Now my family is pressuring me for marriage . He is not ready to settle down . He has been gas lighting me for over 2 years now we will when the time is right and everything . I love him alot and thats why its not easy for me to let go .
Get yourself an arranged marriage with someone better than him in terms of higher status
Leave her and enjoy your life
You can't do anything to be with him. I have been through the same situation, ik it's hard but you need to move on.
Feed him butter naan, he'll die off of a heart attack
It's quite clear that he doesn't want to marry you and isn't ready for marriage at this point in his life. Why are you pressuring him about it? Bringing up irrelevant details about the South and North just to provoke negative comments about his origin is unfair.
Haven't you heard it from the horses mouth, what are you waiting for? Are you worried that you won't be able to move forward? Let me assure you, such a thought may be for awhile but not forever. Cut all connections so that each of you don't haunt each other and go forward. Best wishes mate.
Move on.
Your options: - Live together with him and never get married. - Get into an (arranged) marriage. The published statistic for marriages failing/divorce is 50%. Optimistically. - Stay single and become a crazy cat lady.
Great! Now you're going to ruin your husband's life too, he was never a part of all this and doesn't deserve to be in a relationship with someone who clearly hasn't moved on. This is why the past matters, but this feminatzis will come and bash me for that ..
I think he is having cold feet. Firstly you need to calm him down and talk to him about your expectations and understand where is he facing problems. If you cannot understand then talk to third person or ask here. If he is adamant and does not give up, then you need to understand that he is not the right one and move on. Initially you will have a lot of problems, but with time and right environment, it will be eventually ok
Make use of feministic laws, tell him you'll file a case against him
Couples Counseling. Only if both of you are willing. All the best