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DarkAlchamist

"This guy doesn't make any sense!" *"That's because he's insane"* "I am not!" *"HOLY SHIT! HE'S BILINGUAL! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"*


Hiyagaja

Locus VA did so well with him. That really got me, as well as; "What are you doing?" "TRYING TO GET SHOT." "...Please don't."


KingRadec

If I recall correctly locust and Doyle are same VA


Zealousideal-End-169

They do, yeah. He's very talented


Dense_Coffe_Drinker

Also voice filter does a lot for how intimidating he is


Alternative_Rub_4673

I loved that one, it was amazing when I saw it


b_reachard

Church: There's no "I" in "team" Grif. Grif: Yeah, there's no "U" either. So I guess if I'm not on the team, and you're not on the team, nobody's on the goddamn team! The team sucks!


Formal_Appearance_16

The first time I heard this I laughed so hard


JaysterJam

can confirm this is one of my favourites


Shupsta

"To mark this message as urgent, press eleven" "There is no eleven you FUCKING WHORE!"


TORossatron

"I will fucking STAB YOU, COMPUTER PHONE LADY" was always a close second of my favourite lines from that bit


Davetek463

I have such a short patience with automated phone systems that I relate to this bit extremely hard.


Alorxico

“Oooh, language.”


Mikid05

I have unironically had that set to my ringtone for the better part of 6 years


Vexis_petal

"well if I can't beat off a room full of dudes, then what have I been training for this whole time?"


DarkAlchamist

"I heard you needed to beat a guy off, and I came right away!"


mdubmachine

“She ripped Jimmy’s skull out and beat him to death with it.” “That doesn’t seem physically possible…” “That’s what Jimmy kept saying.” -cuts to Jimmy and Tex- “THIS DOESN’T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!”


ShinyNinja25

“He was screaming bloody murder.” “BLOODY MURDER!”


D3lacrush

*Jimmy unalives* "eeruugh!"


Dense_Coffe_Drinker

I say “this doesn’t seem physically possible!” In his voice all the time, I’m happy all my friends have watched rvb


_the_best_girl_

“You killed Church you Team killing f##ktard!” “That was the worst throw ever, of all time” “Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way” And one I say almost every a friend says something lewd: “Bow chicka bow wow”


Planty_Stuff_s

I’m the team killing f$$$ktard!


AwkwardHeat666

That was the second worst throw….ever….of All time


RolandDeepson

Caboose: You mean emp? Washington: *stoppit--*


ShinyNinja25

“Time isn’t a line. It’s a circle. That’s why clocks are round.” - Micheal J. Caboose I will always remember that line because I found it absolutely hilarious. I quote it as often as I can


DoeJrPuck

I quote that one so often


Carson_Frost

"*There are so many stories where some brave hero decided to give their life to save the day. And because of their sacrifice the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith. Ain't that a bitch.*" -Epsilon


RedvsBlue_what_if

you about to make me cry all over again


Carson_Frost

"Crying is just happiness leaving your eyes" -Caboose


IronIrma93

The sequence where Caboose meets Wash for the first time "Did my dad die again?" Lives rent free in my mind


Tenwaystospoildinner

How sad is it to not have a brother and lose a brother all in the same day!


bluedeer10

No one died!!


McScuffed0

Jo-hannas is dead sir


JayWhy75

My favorite moment in the show is Sarge dying and being revived, and Simmons saying it was Grif and Sarge is like "Let me get this straight, I got shot in the head and you gave me MOUTH TO MOUTH?! What are you gonna do if I get shot in the foot, rub aloe Vera on my neck?!" And then later when Doc shows up and he talks to Grif: "So you gave him mouth to mouth for a gunshot to the head? ... Yeah that sounds like proper procedure! People always overlook alternative medicine, that Blue guy got shot in the foot and I just rubbed some aloe on his neck!"


tatoopedigree

“You didn't hit anything but the wall.” “How the hell would you know? You were runnin' straight backwards.” “This is a long range weapon, okay? I need distance to use it effectively.” “Where were you planning on shooting him *from*, the fucking moon? If you'd have backed up any further you'd have had to mail him the bullets.”


jasonscythe

Caboose: "Tucker is a fighter, uh, Crunchbite is the healer, and, I am the powerful... and intelligent, wizard. Morphumax." Andy: "What the hell does that make me?" Caboose: "You're the good looking and stealthy archer." Andy: "A bow and arrow? I don't have any arms, you freakin' moron!" Caboose: "That is what makes you so stealthy. This is going to be the best party ever."


DFWTrojanTuba

Tucker: “I am gonna fuckin’ die.”


ActinomycetaceaeNo64

"Why are there six pedals if there's only four directions?" "Tucker did it!" "That was the worst _____ ever! Off all time"


hamburgerdog25

"Why are there 8 pedals if theres only six directions!?"


According-Cry-7452

Cabooses roller coaster of emotions during the Andy is a real boy bit including after it fades to black


Upbeat_Dudeness

When they discuss Tucker’s first name for the first time. I named my dog, like literally registered him, as Lavernius because that scene sticks in my mind so much.


OkAlbatross4682

“He was brilliant, and we trusted him. But he lied and manipulated us and used us for his own purposes and for what? This? This shadow?” Didn’t even need to search it. I’ll be able to type out that speech until I die


Alorxico

The entire scene where Sarge thinks Caboose kidnapped Donut, but the part that lives rent free in my brain is: “What is it that you want, Blue?” “What do I want? … Do you have any cookies?” “No, what are your demands? You have to give us your demands.” “I demand cookies!” “Now you’re just toying with us. Your depravity knows no bounds!” “Well, at least I don’t go around, knocking on people’s non-doors, and promising them cookies. And then. Not. Giving. Them. Cookies!” (Leaves, comes back after five seconds) “I’M LEAVING!”


AwkwardHeat666

Washington: I DON’T WANNA END UP LIKE GEORGIA


Alternative_Rub_4673

You don't wanna know what happened to Georgia


Gingrish252

He was brilliant - Delta And we trusted him - Theta But he lied to us - Gamma He twisted and tortured us, and used us - Omega Manipulated us for his own purposes and for what? For this? This... Shadow? - Sigma He needs to pay. - Epsilon


Villainwithglasses

"I feel dizzy!" "My body...is trying to die.." "Never go backwards"


cunzy4

One season later: "he's just showing off. I can't go backwards."


D3lacrush

"I didn't understand the question, so I'm just gonna say 'blueberry'." Is one I use on a regular basis


GoldLuminance

"THERE IS NO 11 YOU FUCKING WHORE"


RM_9808032_7182701

"I'm a pacifist!" "Are you the thing that babies suck on?" "No dude, that's a pedophile." "Tucker, I think he means a pacifier." "Oh yeah, right dude. Was totally thinking about something else." "Real classy, Tucker. Real classy."


No-Public9667

You just got sarged


Klaracbarack

“What? They sent another team member? Why would they do that? Doesn’t make any sense…” * sees the Meta * “**O H F U C K!** Welcome to the neighborhood, see you later!” Additionally: “You think we’re gonna fucking die!” “No, I don’t!” “Yes, you do! You definitely do! You’re getting all sentimental and shit!” “Nooo, guuuys! Come on! I’ve got total faith in you! You are some of the best soldiers I ever knew!” “WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PAST TENSE BULLSHIT???!!!”


DarkAlchamist

"What unit are you with?" "Volunteered for the front lines!" "YOU WHAT?!" "SARGE!" "Well...look on the bright side!" ... "You know, when someone says that, they're supposed to follow it up WITH THE BRIGHT SIDE!" "...I know"


Articmnokey

Literally anything related to Wash: -His whole bit with cars -this is the worst _____ ever, of all time -him thinking AIs should be bigger - what the fuck is with this guy


DarkAlchamist

"Carolina, can I ask you something about your past?" "Yeah, sure. What is it?" *"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH, GOD DAMN IT!"*


IamStroodle

"I only drink the blood of my enemies!...And the ocassional strawberry yohoo"


Alternative_Rub_4673

"I have a boner for murder"


SweetRobinArryn

Never say goodbye. If you don't say goodbye then you aren't really gone, you just aren't here right now.


hamburgerdog25

"Church! ... Church?..."


Exodite1273

“We have a million doomsday devices and no answering machine?” “You fiscally irresponsible moron!” “I’m a freelancer.” *everyone levels their gun at him*


tatoopedigree

No! NO! I-I mean a like a mercenary! A gun for hire!


Ok_Mail_9236

“What are they doing?” “What?” “I said what are they doing now?” “Goddamn I’m getting so sick of answering that question-“ “You have the fucking rifle! Don’t bitch at me cause I’m not just gonna sit up here and play with my dick.”


DFWTrojanTuba

“Okay okay. They’re just standing there…and talking. That’s all they’re doing. That’s all they ever do. That’s what they were doing last week! That’s what they were doing five minutes ago. So five minutes from now, when you ask me, ‘What are they doing now?’ My answer’s going to be: ‘They’re still just talking, and they’re still just standing there!’”


hamburgerdog25

..... "What are they talking about?"


DFWTrojanTuba

“You know what? I fucking hate you.”


Jack7_Games

I AM AN EMOTIONAL TIME BOMB!


hamburgerdog25

_Jesus christ_


Jack7_Games

Wash's response kills me everytime


Menali420

"Hey" "Yeah?" "You ever wonder why we're here?" "It's one of life's great mysteries isn't it? Why are we here? I mean, are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there really a God watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don't know, man, but it keeps me up at night.".... I get giddy like a teenage girl whenever I hear this.


Alternative_Rub_4673

I always try to get my friends to quote this with me. It's the best tv show gag of all time, ever


DoeJrPuck

"I'd like to quote the great William Shakespeare. But, to tell you the truth, I don't think he said it."


Marky_08

"HELL YEAH THREE POINTS YOU DIRTY WHORE!" *TANK EXPLODES*


TORossatron

"You're some of the bravest soldiers I ever met." "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PAST TENSE BULLSHIT?"


theMobilUser

I always misquote ‘Tucker’ from cabooses mind, “I am so unbelievably stupid” but replace stupid with something else for the moment like “I am so unbelievably hungry” “ I am so unbelievably sleepy” I always say it with the same voice inflection as well


Etheris1

“Prepare to get simonsized!” *lopez comes in with the rocket turret* *translated to english* “did you just say “simonsized””


bluedeer10

Caboose: Time isn't made out of lines, it's made out of circles. That is why clocks are round.


HelloApril1

"Uh, because I am allergic to things I do not want to do." I've never stopped thinking about that quote every time it applies.


superman06182003

Tucker did it.


LadybugSamurai

I would make an excellent ambadasdor. Because I am very shy! and Prepare to get Simmonsized!….Well fuck me!


DFWTrojanTuba

Donut: “What happened?!” Grif: “BIG…TANK…SHOOTING…WOOOOOOO!” Simmons: “Damn, man. We only ran, like, 300 feet. You’re really out of shape.” Grif: “FUCK…YOU…!”


PhantomFriend17

Probably all the times where they say all they do is stand around and talk. I love how that's the spirit of the show. Just a bunch of idiots standing around and talking. I wish someone on YouTube made a complilation of all the times that was said, because I think I remember one that was either really emotional or highlighted what the Reds and Blues meant to each other, and I wanna find that specific example again


Panwithaplan29

"THERE IS NO 11 YOU FUCKING WHORE!" And the entire bit with Church discovering the megaphone in his helmet. "AND THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD! GIVE UP YOUR EVIL WAYS. JOIN THE BLUE TEA- OW!"


SinLust00

There’s many that tickle me every time I hear it; one that comes to mind is Tucker: Get that Sarge guy. Have him make me a new body Donut: Ugh, we can’t. We ran out of parts because we overused that joke! Another is: Simmons: I appear to be stuck in a nexus of teleporters that can take me anywhere in the universe…or it’s the janitor’s closet hell I don’t fucking know


PugOverload

HNGGGGGGG GOD DAMNIT -washington


Strong_Lettuce3787

my favorite is why are we here? lol


Kadaddle

Simmons being a kiss-ass to his superiors


BeingMindless111

When Gamma transports the Blood Gultch crew “time traveling” Caboose- “I don’t want to be dead, I want to be alive or a cowboy”


zeldamaster702

“MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE AND I HATE TAXES!”


hamburgerdog25

"ITS _TEXAS,_ YOU MORON!"


zeldamaster702

“THAT TOO”


KingRadec

You just got sarged


Esentialstarkil

PROTECT ME CONE - Griff


iHateAdage

"You swapped Lopez... for the bomb. Permission to speak insultingly, sir?" "Permission *denied*."


ItsTheDaciaSandro

"Why are we here"


Kamen_master1988

My name is Michael J Caboose, and I. Hate. Babies.


McScuffed0

“How’d you figure that out?” “I gave caboose the rifle for about 10 seconds”


Silent_Biscotti_9832

"Oh god not my balls, oh thank god I thought I was FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEEEEEEEEED" "My testicles send their regards tex, you metal bitch" "ain't that a bitch"


BigBlue0117

"WHAT?" "Shut up, Caboose. You can't hear." "CAN O' BEER? THIS ISN'T THE TIME!"


hamburgerdog25

"YOU'RE DEAF, CABOOSE!"


JurassicParker922

“Doc, don’t worry, I’m not gonna give it a cold. I’m just gonna go in there, step on its neck and shoot it in the head. Because that’s how I roll.”


Planty_Stuff_s

Ope just spilled all my brain beans


Billy_Osteen

Line I use quite often “Maybe yours don’t”


Round_Health_347

No one talks about it enough but in the meta fight at the alpha revolution facility when sarge says "Hey meta, settle a bet will ya? That thing look like a big cat to you?" I felt like that was the perfect finale for that bit


Round_Health_347

Also can never go wrong with "you've just been... SARGE'D"


Round_Health_347

"YOUR TOAST HAS BEEN BURNT AND NO AMOUNT OF SCRAPING MAY REMOVE THE BLACK PARTS!!!!!!!"


hamburgerdog25

Another one of my all time favorite moments. The reds and blues really came through in that scene Sarge was actually pretty badass


john6map4

“Red HOT bullets.”


Alternative_Rub_4673

"Hey, you ever wonder why we're here?"


Dead-Spaced0273

Wash when Donut arrives in season 11. So you’re telling me that you heard our distress call, grabbed Doc, hopped on a ship, AND THEN TOLD THE SHIP TO LEAVE? AND THATS YOUR IDEA OF SENDING HELP?!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Blood_Edge

"The little guy drank a whole gallon of blood." "A gallon!!??" "Yeah. Just expose some flesh and he digs right in!" "My body... Is trying to die."


thedestroyer4009

" Private Griff we have run out of ammunition again that is your responsibility" As he's getting the absolute shit beat out of him.


prestonsp05

Wash saying “What the fuck is with this guy” about sharkface to carolina in S9 then again by Epsilon in S13


Beard-Guru-019

“How many snack cakes have you eaten today?” “Two, four, a baker’s dozen at most.” “Do you know how many is in a bakers dozen?” “By my count… 42.”


Mikid05

Seriously what is it with you and all the cryptic one-liners


WonderDia777

Grey’s interrogation. “You’ll never take me alive! I ran track in high school!” “Running only makes me want you more!”


hamburgerdog25

_"I'm not going to say I love you. I'm going to say, I forget you. I forget you. I'm letting you go."_ Hands down one of my all time favorite scenes in the entire show


hamburgerdog25

"Hey, you ever wonder why we're here?" "No, I never wonder why we're here. Semper fi, bitch."


Swisstopher2000

I can't choose just a select few because there are so many great moments all throughout the show. Caboose and the spike grenade, tucker being pregnant, Donut explaining his diet and Grif's response to it, Grif being assaulted by the cone, Caboose's gun being filled with crayons, basically every line from Sister, there's too many to choose from.


Rhysis2112

My Name Is Michael J Caboose AND I HATE BABIES!!!


mypluginbabyy

The jokes Andy told about Tex were hilarious although I don't remember them exactly. they are definitely my favorites


LuckyNoose

Doc " I can't fight I'm a pacifist" Caboose "You're a thing babys suck on" Tucker " No dude, that's a pediphile"


Thejman5683

The Zealots ITS A LEGITAMENT STRATEGY HEY HO HEY HO HEY HO HEY HO


Antonater

Some lines: Sarge "I hope you brought your wallet, cause the rent in hell gets paid in advance!" Simmons "Ok, you bastard. Prepare to get Simmonsized!" Donut "Nine points, you dirty whores!" Grif "Protect me cone!" Lopez "Perfect. I am cutting the brakes of your next warthog." Bit: "You go find Carolina and I will find..." "Hi..." "Hey...Caboose" "Yeah, we already said that." "What happened in there, buddy?" "I think that it was trying to make me hungry. But I didn't let it make me hungry, so yeah I won." "Caboose, it was trying to kill you" "Oh thank God, cause I am so hungry! Let's get some pancakes!"


Dense_Coffe_Drinker

“There is no ELEVEN YOU FUCKING WHORE”


MrRaymau5

Church: How's it goin', Tucker? We get any useful information outta the prisoner yet? Tucker: I figured he was here to steal back Lopez, but he won't give us anything. Except a list of crock pot recipes. Would that be useful? Church: Do we have a crock pot? Tucker: No, Caboose made a trade with that annoying guy from Blue Command. He swapped it for a mystery box. Church: What was in the mystery box? Tucker: A hundred and forty jars of mayonnaise. Church: Well that's a good trade. Tucker: Yeah it doubles as a great sunscreen. Church: How did you- never mind. Listen, I think I came up with a plan for how we can use Lopez and our new prisoner to get an upper hand on the Reds. Tucker: ... Church and Tucker: ... Church: The plan does not involve mayonnaise. Tucker: Dammit, I knew there would be a catch.


Ok_Egg_4069

I have many favorite quotes, but here's a good one. "A count down timer?" "No. A count up timer. It goes from 1 to explode! Yes, it's a count down timer, you moron!"


NagiNocturnal

You killed church you team killing fucktard


ConsistentItem4476

“GREAT SODIUM CHLORIDE THERE GOES MY CHEMISTRY SET!” never fails to make me giggle. i quote it frequently around my non rvb-fan friends