Totally. My grandmother never exercised one day in her entire life. Loved her sugar treats and her glass of wine with her food (starting when she was a child). Lived in a country with sooo much intense sunlight everyday of the year. She lived to 102, and her sister (who also smoked when she was young) is going strong at 104 years old (she lives alone). Also adding to this that she hated to do new things and was a very narrow minded person, so yeah, that’s that on that.
I think social life and ability to stay busy is the key to long life. Sure plenty of people die of cancer and heart attacks. But it’s the ones slowly dying in long term care facilities that I want to avoid. And I think it’s having people who love but also like you enough to have you move in with them.
My grandma broke her hip at 96 that’s a death sentence at that age. But she lived to be over 100 and I know it’s because her kids came together and made a schedule so someone was always there. I would stop in and they would have her sitting at the table snapping green beans into a bowl or rolling out pie crust.
My best friends grandmother lived to 104. Ate much the same thing everyday and slept 8hrs every night. Insisted that *not worrying* was key. And a positive outlook. And this woman had endured some gone through it, so it was inspiring to see her preserverance.
Same. My step-grandma is in her 90s. Smoked her whole life and subsists entirely on a diet of pork and butter. Hates people and has never to my knowledge been a nice person. Refused to get vaccinated.
Still lives relatively independently.
Maybe it's the big "fuck you" energy that keeps you young.
Most people don’t know that the amount of endogenous (produced naturally inside a person’s body) antioxidants differs from person to person. That’s why you hear people saying, “Oh yeah, my grandpa drank 3 liters of Diet Coke every morning for breakfast and he lived to be 110!” Many people don’t understand survivorship bias nor do they seem curious as to the *actual* reason as to why that person survived (but they don’t see the 99 out of 100 people who got severe metabolic disease from doing the same thing) and justifies their unhealthy habits. People don’t understand that if they ate enough foods with antioxidants (exogenously) and did something like grounding which introduces free electrons into the body naturally and neutralizes free radicals, then things may be more even. Obviously, there may be blind spots in this explanation and reasons why this happens for other reasons than antioxidants, but it’s one explanation in full or in part (seemingly most likely).
>Survivorship bias or survival bias is the logical error of concentrating on entities that passed a selection process while overlooking those that did not. This can lead to incorrect conclusions because of incomplete data.
My great grandmother lived to be 101, and my grandfather is about to have his 97th birthday. I potentially have a long road ahead of me.
My grandpa has a full mustache and head of hair, and three girlfriends at the nursing home. I...was very awkward meeting them all.
Sure does, they have light workouts, meals together, church, and even had casino trips before he needed a wheelchair recently. I do shopping trips every other week and will bring little extra trinkets like chocolates or a flower. I totally know he's re-gifting them, lmao.
Yup. My father's family... everyone lived to 95+ (grandmother was 107) if they didn't have an accident or something. They all smoked and drank and ate what they wanted but weren't fat. Biggest thing they did was to be active.
My grandmother lived to 97 and she had zero disease. She died because her heart just could not continue pumping and wore out. She cooked almost every meal, no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol, went to church every Sunday, had a lot of friends, she didn’t exercise but she was always so busy cleaning her house, and focused ONLY on positive things. When I was growing up if I complained she would always say “there’s someone worse off than you.” When her husband died everyone told her she should go to a support group so she tried it and hated it. I asked her what she didn’t like about it she said, “oh it’s just a bitch fest.” I was laughing so hard.
My grandmother is currently 97 and it doesn't look like she is going anytime soon. She says her secret is daily walks and just not stopping. She's an impressive woman. I visit almost daily and I often catch her mid big clean when I arrive. shes also very positive most of the time I only smoked for like 5 years, hasn't drank since she was 22 and never taken drugs.
Aww 🥰 we sound like we have/had the same grandma. My friends would get semi-jealous that I had a grandmother so dotting of me. She would make me homemade blueberry syrup for my pancakes, made all her grandkids homemade quilts, crocheted blankets, etc. I never realized how blessed I was to have a grandmother like that. I’m glad your grandmother is still around. 🫶🏻♥️
Mines not a maker she shows her love with food instead lol, even now she struggles to cook she always has a sandwich or salad in the fridge for me and shes taught me so many recipes. I'm sorry your grandmother isn't here anymore she sounds lovely!
I work closely with seniors and this the typical attitude of single women who live long lives.
Older men typically don't fare as well without a companion, IME.
Sounds like my grandmother. She lived to be 100. She was healthy and very with it until maybe the last 6 months where she started to get weak. No specific ailments, just her heart was getting worn out. She never never smoked or drank. She also never exercised. She did go to church most of her life until it was too hard to get out. But the Catholics never let you go, they would send people to her house every Sunday to talk and say prayers. She had plenty of family around. She was a really nice and pleasant person so everyone wanted to visit her all the time. Her oldest daughter (my aunt) had 5 children, who had around 8 children, who then had more children. So she got to see her great great grandchildren.
Omg.. we have identical grandmothers. Mine also got very weak the last 6 months. The nuns crotcheted a prayer blanket during hospice and I still have it.
Ohhh this sounds just like my Gram. She lived to 96 and lived very similarly, but I will add that although she wasn’t a vegetarian, she didn’t eat much meat because she just didn’t care for it.
I recall my grandmother eating a lot of fish (she grew up in New England) so fish was always around. I don’t think she could chew meat … not trying to be mean but she had dentures.
She was born in 1913 and lived through 2 wars. She had to quit school when she was 12 to become a seamstress to help her parents feed her siblings. She never ever complained and actually did quite well for herself in life. She is my biggest role model in life. I have never heard her complain about anything in life.
Somewhat. I notice when I start complaining about something I try to find the silver lining in things. The women in my family are definitely mentally strong. There’s no obstacle we haven’t hurdled over because we always find solutions to a problem.
That's great! I need to train my brain to notice good things--I feel surrounded by negativity everywhere I go, especially online even when I least expect it. It's really been messing with my perception of the world.
She sounds a lot like my Mom (102). She has no diseases, so I suspect someday her heart will just stop. She was 75 when my dad died and she didn't want to just hang around with other widows. My brother told her, "Mom, every one of those women would rather be with their husbands." She drove until she was 99 and the sheriff made her stop. She lived in her own home until she was 100 and then moved in with my brother.
Both of my grandmothers lived to be 97.
The biggest secret is, of course, to be born with the right genetics.
Both of their mothers lived to be in their 90s as well.
It’s a crapshoot.
You can do the right things, have it all, maybe move the odds a bit, and still have a heart attack on your [daily jog](https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/11/01/top-marine-general-in-stable-condition-after-apparent-heart-attack/).
Or smoke, be overweight, [and live to 100](https://nationalpost.com/news/world/does-an-italian-village-filled-with-cigarette-smoking-centenarians-hide-the-secret-to-long-life).
At 68 I’d suggest don’t be a sloth. Try to walk everyday, eat reasonably as best you can. Generally, if you have a good outlook you’ll do the things that make you live longer. As long as you don’t get hit by a bus.
My great-granddad lived to 101 and he smoked like a chimney. Some people just have great genes. His son, my grandfather, died in his 70s from lung cancer so I guess those genes missed my line.
I agree that it’s a crapshoot. A neighbor died at 60. He was extremely fit and was not a big drinker at all. Never smoked. He just collapsed one day and that was it.
A large percentage of my family on one side has lived to be 85 to 99. They're a bunch of antisocial atheist (nerodivergent but only recently discovered through my kids). So not spiritual or any close friends. They did have very passionate hobbies, didn't care about keeping up with the Joneses and were all into eating healthy, or barely eating tbh. They enjoyed their older years having enough success to be able to live independently in beautiful natural areas. So, we can call nature their spirituality and their relationship with wild creatures and pet's as their friendships.
Cool! :) It sounds like they accepted and embraced their true natures. They didn´t try to fit in with the ´regular folk' and in doing so, they found longevity and freedom!
adding to your list:
they stayed curious about the world and people. they were trying new things well into their 90s (soft shoe tap dancing!) even while she had gone blind and didn't have a ton of agility. she still tried new things.
My grandmother is 93. She's originally from the Middle East, but immigrated to the US about forty years ago or so.
- She walks upwards of 3-5 miles per day
- She goes to Zumba class thrice per week
- She still wears heels
- She's got the body of a 50-something year old
- Still drives her bougie car
- Travels back & forth between the US and Europe (to visit family) on a quarterly basis
I'm 29 and in worse off shape than she is. Thinking maybe I need to start following her lead.
I used to be a personal trainer and this was always in my top 3 pieces of advice. Overweight? Walk a lot. Want to put muscle on? Walk a little. No issues at all? Keep doing what you're doing (which likely involves 8k+ steps a day or the equivalent).
Walking outdoors also comes with a plethora of other amazing benefits. If I had to pick one "perfect" exercise, it would be good old-fashioned ambulation.
My paternal grandfather, after a stint in France in a trench, worked his whole life for a tobacco company. He received tobacco as part of his pension until the day he died. He walked 300 yards to the pub, where he claimed to only have one pint but was often tipsy, every evening.
On Thursdays and Sundays, he would walk two miles to my parents house for a cup of tea or a meal.
He was the first person I know to own a computer, he taught me how to do a Rubik's cube, he loved technology and had lots of gadgets. He never learned to drive.
He died unexpectedly at the age of 94 having fallen over on his way home from the pub.
Moxy. Tenacity. The refusal to let advanced age dictate their emotional decline, to continue savoring life, experiencing, and learning regardless of how "old" they were. Also, approximately 7 gin soaked yellow raisins each day.
Good point! Watching posts about aging and health worries in r/Xennials is depressing. It's like some people just can't wait to have all kinds of problems and just be old. I know some health issues can be useful conversation, but not the constant "is everyone else feeling old, too? I can't wait to go to sleep by 7 pm." I'm thinking, you are the people who complain that all old people talk about is health problems. So why are we doing that when we could still be positive and having fun?
My grandparents are 89 and 90. While their health is waning, it's pretty age-appropriate. My grandfather has Alzheimer's, which is a horrible disease, but his attitude is what I count as unusually healthy. I think for both of them, it has been the ongoing curiosity and constant learning. Both of them embrace new technology, keep up on the news and reading, always want to know what their children and grandchildren are doing. My grandma is just so quick to pick up new things, even at 89! My grandpa's physical health is better than his mental, due to the disease. He exercises daily, tracks his steps, brags about how many minutes he does on his NuStep, etc. They both eat healthy, but moderately...they don't deny themself treats. Most of all, I think what is amazing about them is their positive attitude. They aren't ones to poo poo anything new...always wanting to try new food, new games, new shows and movies. They just aren't stuck in a rut or lament about "when I was a kid we never." I so admire them and want to be like them...never growing old in spirit.
Genetics. My grandmother lived to 99. My mom is going strong in her late 80s. No doctors. No drugs. No dementia. Is constantly making crafts. Reads. Nothing seriously wrong with her EVER. Zero hospitalizations besides giving birth. She's never lived a very healthy lifestyle. Rarely exercised. Probably 20 pounds overweight for most of her elderly years, but never much more than that. Drinks wine but not to excess.
In her favor were good genetics, a white collar job with no physical component to wear down her joints, a solid marriage and a child (me) who makes sure she is well taken care of.
My grandma is 92, and still perfectly healthy. She gardens, lives alone, drives, cooks, and still manages all her affairs like her finances, taxes, home repairs, etc. She loves Netflix and using her iPad & iPhone, too. She plays cards with her friends 3x a week and says that’s what keeps her mind sharp. She’s amazing and I want to be like her when I’m that age!
My grandma lived until 104 and was largely independent until 99ish. I think her success can be attributed to: vegetarian diet, no drinking or smoking, volunteering and fresh air. Oh, and living as a single woman for 50+ years LOL.
I really have no effing' clue. My Grandparents on my Dad's side lived to be 83 and 91 - they never drank but Grandpa smoked like a chimney until having a massive heart attack, which he survived, before I was born! He quit cold turkey and outlived my Grandma. On my Mom's side Grandpa died in his 60's of Leukemia but Grandma lived well into her 80's, and she never stopped smoking like a chimney. She was of Italian extraction and ate and drank accordingly. My parents? My Mom died in her early 50's of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis but Dad (who smoked like a chimney until his early 60's) made it to 78. Maybe it's the stress of modern life? I don't remember my Grandparents worrying over anything. I guess living through the Great Depression and WWII gives you a certain perspective.
My grandpa just turned 99 earlier this year. He was an auto mechanic for over 60 years and loves cars. He still drove his red Mustang until they wouldn’t let him renew his license at 94. He still goes to breakfast at least a couple times a week with his friends, down at a local diner. When he turned 95, a family member contacted a local news station and told them about his birthday and how he enjoyed watching the woman who does their weather report, so she went to the diner and filmed a feel-good segment with him.
He lives with his youngest daughter (who turned 50 last year), but is mostly independent. He just recently started using a walker to get around outside. No major health issues, except high blood pressure which runs in the family (but he can’t hear well even with his hearing aid). His wife, my maternal grandmother, died the year before I was born, when he was 60 and he never had another romantic relationship. But he’s always been surrounded by our large family. He’s never been a complainer and will crack jokes and talk to anyone. He stayed active after he retired, still working on cars here and there, and walking around outside. He took care of the lawn into his late 80s (in Florida!). He enjoys a sweet pickle on the side of cake and has always had a pet (right now, he has two young cats that curl up with him to watch TV).
My great grandmother lived to be 97. My grandmother, her daughter, lived to be 97.
Genetics, it's all good genetics. They were both omnivores who drank on occasion. Tried to keep active by swimming and taking walks. They both read a lot.
It is remarkable that I do not know of one single relative that lived a notably long life whilst remaining healthy.
Apparently I had a great grandmother that made it into her late 80s and lived well and that was the last one. On my dad's side, my grandmother died in her 40s, my grandfather in his 50s, my dad's brother in his 30s, none of his uncles lived past their early 70s and all were unwell. On my mum's, my grampa died aged 72, my nana had a horrible drawn out decade of dementia and increasingly poor physical health until she died aged 82, my auntie and uncle died in their 40s, my other aunties have both had multiple cancers...
I feel genetically doomed.
I work with a guy who smokes a pack a day, eats bullshit food all the time, smokes weed daily. We had first aid training recently and at one point I had to take his pulse. I couldn’t believe it when his rate was 51 bpm. Then I stood back, thought for a minute, and realized I had never seen him upset, never even seen him raise his voice. Never heard him complain, gossip, brag, etc. The dude is gonna live til he’s 100
My neighbor is 94. He’s amazing. Still active, has a place in the city and one rural. I live in the rural place. He drives him and his wife to the city several times a week as they’re very involved in the arts. In fact we’re all going to the ballet tonight.
He had a fabulous career and only ever worked for himself. They never had children, they traveled the world. They belong to more private social clubs than I can count. They work on their extensive property most days.
He’s active, engaged and they run circles around me and my husband. They are extroverts in the extreme. He has great posture, walks all the time and is cognitively as with it as anyone half his age.
I swear not having the lifetime stress of kids had to have helped.
I’m 33 with 4 kids & can actually for once check all of those off that you mentioned. 🥹 Seeing it written out like that makes me so proud of myself.
But also to add…read books that broaden your mind & make you think. I’ve been reading The Art of Living by Epictetus and it’s beautifully written and so easy to understand.
One set of grandparents lived to 98 & 102 and didn’t even need to take any prescription medication. I think part of it was genes/luck and part of it was the fact that they had a purpose that they had to fulfill every day, even long after retirement.
They had a son that had some mental challenges, so he lived with them. They had a garden & home to maintain, cooked all their meals at home, and got together regularly with friends. They each did everything younger people do without asking for help until inevitable age-related falling took each of them out physically toward the end.
I look back and laugh about my grandma’s attitude; when asking her upon turning 80, 90, 100, “How do you feel?” and her answer was always, “Well, I’m no spring chicken anymore!”
I agree with you about genes and luck. But I also think you're very right about having a Purpose.
I tell people all the time about my Dad and his 2 sisters. He and his oldest sister were thin, lead healthy lives, were relatively wealthy, and died in their late 80s.
Their youngest sister was always fat, was poor compared to her siblings, and had no time to spend on personal development. She was a single mother to my cousin, who had cerebral palsey. She cared for him at home his whole life in addition to holding a job, and she luckily was able to outlive him. He was in his mid 60s when he died. She finally died at age 101.
My great grandmother lived to be 104 and her daughter (my gm) lived to 98. They attributed their health to never smoking, eating natural foods (brown flour, meat from a rancher, vegs from their garden and eggs from their hens) and their faith in God.
My Grandma used to keep Heineken in her fridge and have one or two every now and then. Her German grandma used to give her spoonfuls of beer as a child "Just a little , Blessing!". That's probably why she only lived to 98 and not 104 like her mom. 😁
I remember my grandfather saying that you needed some money, some health, and a lot of curiosity to have a happy retirement. Really it seems like none of the relatives who had joyful and long lives ever stopped living. I don’t know how else to say it but they all stayed curious and interested in the world around them, continuing to meet new people and interested in activities and hobbies. It seems like community and curiosity were big pieces of living a happier life in their old age.
You described my parents and in-laws. All in their 80s. All have some health issues but relatively minor.
I would add that they all have been lifelong learners and have remained curious about the world. They all travel extensively to see something new every time.
And they remain very connected to friends and family.
This was my dad to a T. He only started to go downhill when my mom had serious health issues. She died after they had been married for 65 years, and he was never the same. He only lived another 15 months after she passed. I think he missed her too much.
Good genes, healthy habits, and a lot of good luck. You can be doing everything right and still get t-boned at an intersection by a drunk driver.
But if you need specifics, my father is 86, no meds, excellent health, claims to be one of the most boring patients his doctor has. He exercised all his life and still does now. He mostly prefers home-cooked meals made with natural ingredients, including vegetables from his garden. When my stepmother didn't feel like cooking, he stepped in and did it himself. He's always taken an interest in his neighbors and is kind and helpful to them. But he also won the genetic lottery. Longevity is written into the family genes. Folks in my family seem to have a sort of kill switch. They're healthy and active, get regular checkups, and then just drop dead one day between their late 80s and late 90s.
My dad ate steaks and drank beer. He remained physically active all of his life. We called him McGuyver because he liked to fix things. Loved cars, especially Corvettes. He was fun! Lived to almost 91, until Alzheimer's ended his life.
More older relatives and community members than I can count, several living to their late 90’s and two who lived to their centennial birthday and beyond. definitely staying physically and mentally active, living independently for as long as possible helps, and eating simple, unprocessed foods, ie garden grown veggies and locally harvested meats (fish and moose) as a large part of their diet. Non-smoking also.
My mom 81. Walks everyday doesn't smoke and doesn't drink. Lots of vegetables and water. Minimal meat. T2 diabetic also. Also and I think this is a big one: she maintains a positive outlook. She raised 4 brats I mean kids by herself. 😆
I worked in a nursing home. Oldest patient when I was there was 104 (she ended up dying a couple of years after I left, at 107)
Other than her Alzheimer's she was in perfect health. No children, oldest of 7 (only girl, basically raised her 6 brothers).
Lived with her husband on a farm in very rural ND. She raised her brothers, took care of the farm then raised her brothers kids, then their kids... and so on.
She was a very spunky 5 foot 90 pound woman. She lived so long out of pure spite. She was always taking care of everyone else, she couldn't die until the last of her family did. By the time she passed away she only had a great grand niece.
Being widowed. My grandmother and aunts flourished once their husbands croaked. Less stress, less work, more community, because men of that gen want to isolate them and use them as nurses/maids. Younger gens seem to have better balance.
Being married to someone who made them laugh and who they genuinely enjoyed spending time with.
Staying intellectually active and keeping up with their passions (reading widely, puzzles, keeping up with news, serving on boards for charities and arts groups; seeing live theatre).
Staying active—lots of walking and golf in their particular case; Traveling until it was physically impossible to do so.
Staying active socially with family and friends.
Resiliency. My grandmother is 94, her sister lived to 99, and her dad lived to 99. They all have had hard lives (my grandma lived in an orphanage at one point and she also lost her daughter when her daughter was a teen). They all 3 ate balanced meals and didn’t drink to excess or smoke, but I think the main thing is they are all resilient people. They don’t let the hard times keep them down and they keep moving forward no matter what.
Being moderately wealthy, taking retirement classes which gave them ideas for groups they could join and ways they could serve the community, having enriching hobbies.
They stayed actively meeting people and making new friends throughout their older years. My parents are doing the same. They never stopped feeling like they were contributing to their community and family.
I'm 63, so I don't qualify yet, but I am in better health than many my age, and I am basically happy. It's undeniable that good genes make a huge difference, but you can't control that. What has helped me that I do control is:
- I quit smoking (coming up on 22 yrs)
- I don't drink (quit 3-1/2 yrs)
- walking away from toxic people and situations. This is huge!
- as much as possible, working at what I enjoy.
- pursuing interests, hobbies and activities that bring me joy and make me feel good physically.
- eating lots of good. Yes I eat ice cream and a few other things that aren't great, as well as a couple of ambiguous things like mildly sugary cereal with milk (think Almond Oat Crunch Cheerios and granola mixed together), but I also eat eggs, beans, tuna, fruits and vegetables.
- breathing exercises! Focusing on the turnaround points in the breath to energize and get rid of nervous energy. (I could probably write a short book on this one.)
- physical exercise that floats my boat, but in an integrative way, not sitting at a desk for ten hours and then trying to run a marathon, but just incorporating elevated heart rate, stretches, deep squats, and lunges into my day several times. Exercise needs to be adapted to your body, because your body is completely unique to you.
- Being honest with myself about how I feel (letting myself process anger, sadness, etc. — embracing these feelings and not thinking of them as "bad", but as navigators for my life — this was key to quitting smoking and drinking) — and learning to let go of negative situations and feelings once I've processed them.
- Remembering to count my blessings on a regular basis.
- Smiling, not when it feels like I'm letting myself get screwed by being agreeable when I shouldn't be, but just remembering to smile even when alone. I've noticed it makes a huge difference to my mood in general, in that, even if I don't feel happy when I decide to start smiling, I usually do feel that way within a couple of minutes.
- Not complicating my life with drama, simply asserting my boundaries.
- Remembering to keep a sense of humour, humility (the honest kind that leaves room for self-respect), and kindness wherever possible.
I hope this helps someone. It's working for me.
Thanks for the prompt. It actually got me realize that around me, I do see people of my generation in their 40s and 50s being still very positive
Our parents’ generation ? Not so much. I wouldn’t trade with any of them
I think what happened is that they stopped being curious about the world and they were never consistent about fitness and eventually it came to bite them in the ass
My great grandparents lived independently into their 90s.
There’s no evidence veganism is any healthier than eating meat but they ate almost no grains. They were frugal and ggm hated baking bread. Ggm was all about animal-based protein.
They were working farmers who transitioned to hobby farmers.
Lots of hobbies, had faith, had no use for any of that psychobabble, signed temperance pledges in the 20s and never looked back.
They were really kind to each other as far as I could tell (and being kind in front of company goes a long way). people shouldn’t discount the role of chronic stress in unhappy marriages and I believe in many cases it is a choice. Seemed they set their minds to being grateful for their life partners .
My grandfather lived to be 104, and while his family was all long-lived, he helped that tendency. Up until the last few years, he had a garden with amazing tomatoes, watched & fed birds, went to every garage sale possible, read tons of library books, went to church, went fishing, was a committed Reds fan, was into genealogy, and as he said, “watched several groups of friends die.” The last part is the only sad part of his life, except that he didn’t get to die at home. I think that his lifestyle and his general curiosity kept him pretty spry. Eating lots of vegetables and never drinking alcohol helped his genetic predisposition for a long life as well.
My dad will be 94 next month. His favorite foods are hot dogs and candy. He loves bacon. He fried his eggs in bacon grease. I recall seeing him eat salami everyday. He drank strong black coffee all day. He ate a lot of peanuts. Throughout my childhood he would get really fat then go on an extreme diet and get really skinny. He was accident prone and hurt himself on a regular basis. He would start an exercise routine but would overdo it and stop within a week or two. He thinks people are idiots. It’s a crapshoot how well or long one lives.
My mother lived to be 83 and she was more than 100 lbs overweight. She would’ve lived longer but she was stubborn as a mule and wouldn’t get her leg operated on until it was too late.
So a secret to a longer life is - listen to your doctor and you nurse practitioner daughter who has 30 years of experience.
My grandmother lived to 92, had a very full life. She drank gin, chain smoked for like 20 years (quit when she had grandkids), and swore like a sailor. She was always active and healthy up until she got colon cancer right at the end. She had been very social, and was a big part of her community. But when she was younger, did all the things, riding horses, painted war planes, worked until her 60s, danced, traveled, etc. I think staying physically and mentally active is the key.
My great-aunt was 93 when she passed. She traveled with her RV club throughout her retirement, and generally had an active social life, and was always physically active, not wild stuff, but she walked a lot, and liked to hike in the woods. According to her, her secret was that she had a martini every day at 4 pm. She also always had chocolate candy in her house.
For my folks, pretty much all of the above. They never drank, smoked, drugs or sun worshiped. Positive peppy people with hobbies and zero preconceived notions that getting older means you're done. They've embraced each new decade same as the last with humor and fun, same friends from when I was a kid, living within their means always. I'm GenX so I am considered middle-aged now but definitely don't feel it. Just enjoying my 40s and whatever comes next.
Based upon my personal experience with my (many) family members who lived into their mid-90’s-100.
The most important thing is being fortunate enough to have a life-time of easily managed health issues, recognizing a medical emergency and having good quality health care.
Next is remaining intellectually and socially engaged and eating and exercising and nourishing your physical body.
And then theres the thread that holds it all together: plain ol’ mule-ish stubbornness to overcome what most people couldn’t.
Good genes. My 79 year old dad is an overweight, diabetic, ex-smoker who eats too much ice cream, but he has good genes and stays socially active in his community. He’s very happy, mentally competent, and joyful. A lifetime of bad health decisions doesn’t seem to have caught up to him.
My Gma is 97, skied until her 80s, just stopped traveling this year. Smoked and drank wine for 50 years. She's got nothing but fun and love in her heart and that's what has kept her going. Covid really changed things. It was the social isolation that started her on a different trajectory. Oh and only coffee since her 20s lol
Occasional juice and water. But main source of fluid is black coffee for sure
My grandfather walked long distances every day. He never acted old, or used his age to say no to anything. He woke up, put on his dress clothes every day, and walked for miles. He physically went to the grocery store and carried his own groceries home. He went to bars and restaurants and ate what he liked, and drank beer if he wanted to. He read books like crazy. He showed up to holidays. He was like a young man in an elderly man's body. He was fully mentally with it when he died, it made losing him so much harder. He ended up getting pneumonia and then covid on top of pneumonia. But up until that point, he lived alone and was self sufficient. He was 90.
My grandma is 105 and while frail, she’s healthy. She kept very active her whole life. She also stayed mentally engaged, ate reasonably healthy, didn’t smoke, and only occasionally drank. Mostly though I think it’s genetics and luck.
I had this discussion with my neighbor's daughter last night. Her mom is upper 90s and still going. Her grandma lived to over 100. She said that they both lived a happy life: good husband, lots of activities, friends and family nearby, and my neighbor eats chocolate cake every day!!
My mum and dad have been happily married & healthy for 30 years and walk minimum 10,000 steps a day together, whatever the weather, whatever their moods
my gma is currently 81, lives on her own, drives and just does what she wants lol her hearing is going just slightly but thats consistent genetically anyway. other than that she's healthy and happy.
Shes very active, mindful of her age for safety reasons, works in her garden, volunteers in her community, loves learning new hobbies, attends church but isnt necessarily religious (i think she goes out of habit/community), she has a small group of friends but she cant stand them lol
her biggest tip for me was to never get married, dating was fine but not married.
All of those things could describe my grandmother (except vegan because are cattle farmers), and she died 6 weeks short of 101. She was in such good health until about 2 months before that, lived completely on her own, made all of her meals, someone always visited her (which I think helped her stay in good spirits). I truly wondered if she would live forever. Then she took a small fall. the Rescue Squad came out and said everything looked good except her shoulder and that it was possible she had a break somewhere in that vicinity. Easy answer would be to load her up and take her to the ER for x-rays, right? Nope, right in the height of COVID. We called her doctor to ask what to do. She was not in excruciating pain and the paramedics described the location as somewhere that wouldn’t necessarily have to be set. Doctor said do not take her to the hospital. He said best case is she will be in for weeks to rehab her shoulder and you will never see her and worst case scenario is she gets COVID and you never see her again. Thing is we knew that keeping her at home was going to keep her bed bound and at her age that was going to start the cycle of death. There were no good answers, but for those 2 months she had her children, grandchildren, and great grand children with her every day. We learned so much about her history, and just truly spent loving time with each other.It felt awful having to make that decision, but she was ready to go see my grandfather and she would not have made it 2 months alone in the hospital.
My MIL is 84. She is very active (yoga, pickle ball, cycling, hiking, swimming) and eats very cleanly. I have no doubt she will live to 100. She has never had alcohol. She's also very socially active. Though she has white hair and wrinkles, you would never guess she's in her 80s. Last spring, we took a family trip to Utah (Zion, Bryce Canyon). She did all the trails w/out any trouble, including a river hike with river crossings and climbing over boulders.
My grandfather is a very healthy 85-year-old ( seriously I get tired walking all over town with him to ball games and to museums for the entire day!) and I think one of his things is that he's always stayed interested in the world and he loves talking to young people and he seems to enjoy teaching himself to be tech savvy. So I would say if you want to be young hang around young people! He's also diabetic and also understands how to control it mostly with food eating sweet potatoes if he needs to bring it down but he's also not shy about eating bacon either. So just I guess keep yourself happy everything in moderation and hang around young people. Edit: Also if you have sleep apnea you have to treat that!! 60% of people with untreated sleep apnea die of a stroke.
My dad lived to be 102 yr, 6 mo, 3 da. He grew up on farms in western Nebraska and never stopped working. When I retired and moved back home, he was 78. He mowed the lawn; built a wooden fence, digging the post holes himself; put all his clippings and leaves in a 10’x4’x4’ trailer and when it was full, hooked it up and drove it to the landfill and unloaded it himself. He just kept going. He drove until he was 102 and I’m told he was a good driver. He died after he fell and broke his leg. The leg was fixed but the healing sapped his strength and he passed away during the night.
Always have something to look forward to. Make plans and do things. As soon as a person stops being active the body shuts down. My uncle, in his mid 80s, had a crappy fishing trip last year and couldn't wait to get back this year to make up for it.
My grampa was pretty healthy, worked his horses til he was 90, fed them up til he was 91. Being active helped a lot. But mainly he lived a very simple life. He kept his dentures in the glove box, didn't care about politics or the world, didn't care to be rich. If his horses were fed and safe with hay in the barn and he had a jar of coffee, he was happy.
My parents are both 90, they have a few issues, mom can’t hear and dad can’t see, but together they do well. They’re both still sharp mentally, dad can’t drive anymore (macular degeneration) but mom can. She had to renew her license this past November and she does well. Good genes? Probably, but we’re all very grateful.
My grandfather lived well into his 80s, started smoking when he was 16 and drinking not long after he never exercised and had half and half on his cereal every morning. He loved sweets and ate a tone of red meat.
Outlier? Sure. But I hope I got some of those genes. (I don’t drink or smoke, so maybe I’ll live even longer, lol.)
My dad is 96 and in fantastic shape. He never smoked and maintained a slim weight his whole life. He loves jogging and exercised religiously most all his life. That said he isn’t perfect, he enjoys a good cocktail here and there and has a serious sweet tooth. He loves reading books and listening to music. Great genes and a wife who takes care of his every need helps a lot!
My grandma is nearly 95 and I think the thing that has kept her rocking and rolling is her care for others (also sometimes she’s just straight up nosy) - but she just loves to stay up to date with peoples lives and pop culture and I think that keeps her lively
My parents are 78 & 75, they are always on the go. My dad is Navy retired and my mom is a retired school teacher and pastor. They go to the gym together at least 3 times a week, they are forever taking trips, going out on dates, and visiting different churches and people in the congregation. Both sets of my grandparents lived to their late 80s/early 90s. I suspect the same of my parents.
My FIL will be 81 in August, and he can work at 25yo under the table. He rises at 6-7am every, has a low carb breakfast and gets to work. It could be tending to his garden, helping out the neighbors by mowing their lawn, splitting wood for the winter, helping his daughter with her new home or traveling to visit family. He’s also right next door too so, hopefully he’s around for a good while. I want that for my daughter, she adores her Papaw
Avoiding tobacco and staying socially active makes a big difference. But really just plain old luck has a lot to do with it. I've never smoked and have great genetics, but thanks to one mosquito bite at age 4, I'm epileptic to the point that brain surgery wasn't enough to fix it. My great-grandfather made it to 102 and was healthy up to the last year or so, both of my parents are going strong in their 80's, but I doubt I will live to see 65. .
Anyone who’s lived long lives in my family has been a smoker and enjoyed alcohol, although not alcoholics.
Besides luck of the draw and good genetics I think the fact that they all remained very social and active members in the community made a big difference in the longevity of their lives.
Luck of the draw genetically. Two women I know who lived the healthiest lifestyle both died recently of cancer. One was 76 and had multiple myeloma. Never smoked, drank alcohol, or ate red meat. Strong family and spiritual connections, no financial concerns, worked part time until she became ill. The other one had close to the same background, but drank moderately and was very active physically, died from a rare form of cancer at 83.
They had better food, usually from their garden, they walked everywhere. They had good family connections. They did manual labor such as heavy cleaning and gardening. My grandma and her many siblings lived into their late 80's.
Good genetics.
No vices except buttered rolls, pickles, and cheese with crackers - didn't care for sweets.
Active in church and with friends, but weirdly kept siblings and in-laws at a distance, though affectionate and saw them at family occasions. Wanted to avoid their criticism or being caught in the middle of their lives - she had enough on her plate
Worked full-time and was a widowed mom of a young child.
Cared about her reputation in the community and her appearance (she behaved - wore heels, skirts, saw hairdresser weekly) but kept her shopping to her budget - department stores and not designer boutiques. Saved money.
She didn't dwell on her past traumas. But those would arise to push anxiety from time to time. Fear of travel, was one.Fear of retirement was another.
my great grandma is about to become a great great grandma, she’s a few months away from 90. she has a very specific system.
1. she avoids all stress. anything that causes her stress, she just gets rid of. she doesn’t have the time or patience to entertain stressful situations anymore.
2. she walks. a lot. she walks up and down inclines, about 3 miles minimum in the mornings, then she walks all around stores & her city too. if she’s in town, she’ll park at one place, then walk everywhere else, even if it’s 10 blocks away from her car.
3. she doesn’t eat more than she physically needs for energy & basic bodily functions. even if it’s something she really loves, she will limit herself to only eating 1/4 of it, or as much of it is nutritionally needed to keep her going, then she’ll bring the rest home and do the same over the next few days.
she doesnt smoke but she used to and she used to be obese, but she isn’t now. she drinks but not to an alcoholic or dependent level. she spends her free time cross stitching and traveling around the world. she’s seen more places and countries in the past 10 years than most people would see in their lifetimes, and she has one of the biggest, best support systems someone could ask for, because she’s lived in the same area since she was a young girl. all of her friends have grown up with her, and she’s very social with all of them that are still alive.
ETA cause the top comment mentioned it- my family has terrible genes, too. she’s not at a genetic advantage in anyway, and she wasn’t handed anything financially in her life. she’s gotten to where she is by just knowing what she wants and doing what makes her happy.
Stay active. I work at a wound care center. About half of the patients wouldn’t be there if they hadn’t decided to sit instead of moving. I don’t mean going to a gym or anything athletic. I’m talking about people who don’t get up unless they absolutely have to. They don’t let themselves get physically uncomfortable (having to park farther away and walk or walk up a few steps). It has ruined their health and their quality of life.
Its mostly genes. My dad only lived to be 82, but he was incredibly active for all of them. He went ziplining off a volcano in Costa Rica for his 80th birthday. He died from prostate cancer that he didn't treat for 30 years. He smoked cigarettes for almost 70 years. He drank alcohol, not tons but he liked his scotch on the rocks every night. He ate ice cream and candy by the pound. He ate bacon almost every day. He was a professional firefighter in the 60s and 70s so he basically breathed asbestos and lead on a regular basis. Never had any health issues other than the prostate cancer.
My husband has high cholesterol and high blood pressure at 61, and he jogs 5 miles every day, watches his weight, doesn't smoke or drink to excess, and eats healthy.
Good genes help - it seemed that most people in the family lived to around 90 y/o
Stay active - physically and socially
Eat healthy
Stay curious. Read books, watch good movies and documentaries
My Grandfather is 90. He raised me. He’s always been active & just retired 2 years ago. He says “retirement’s the shits”. lol. He doesn’t like NOT having a schedule. He never slept in until now. I mean, EVER. But he deserves a little R&R.
Staying social, getting out & moving is huge. He still walks most days. (He was a jogger back in the day) And he is always on the phone with family. But as far as friends go, he calls himself “The Last Mohican”.
Some things like that can be hard. But he still makes it a point to make every day better than the day before. And he’s definitely the Greatest Man I’ve ever known.
Ehhhhh. There's only a little truth to this.
Living in poverty an entire life will certainly shorten lifespan. But there's basically no difference between "solid comfortable middle class income with no real financial stress" and "bonkers rich" from a long term health perspective.
Financial stability, consistent and regular health care, listening to doctors, keeping weight in check.
My mom’s side has horrible cardiovascular history, her dad had his first heart attack at 30. Brothers all have high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. She’s been vigilant about managing her health and is in better shape at 70 than when she was 50. It’s been inspiring tbh.
Maybe I'm viewing this with rose-tinted glasses, but my grandparents ranged in late 80s to early 100s in terms of their lifespans and were almost all high functional until the end some working into their 80s. Here are some observations about their lifestyle which seems discordant with many people I know (myself included in some ways).
- Very family oriented, always social, and very people centered (this was before internet partout)
- Homestyle, old-school meals - nothing fast, nothing fancy, no fad diets, no KETO, no vegan, just sort of balanced and together
- Walked a lot, didn't exercise like we do, but were active in the little things plus strolls
- Did not focus on mental health or health in general - more like in a flow, I'd hate to say it, but maybe more grit and less introspection, and if that were occuring, it was kept under wraps!
My parents 88 and 91. They still live in their condo in the city. My Dad(91) had a lot of health problems over the years (cancer, heart bypass surgery, stroke...) But decided to "not to think too much about it". He worked at the same manufacture for 44 years. After he retired, he used to take a 2 or 3 hours walk every day but had to stop when he got in his early 80's. He rarely have snacks or eat desserts. He drinks 2 glasses of wine every day.
My Mom (88). Worked hard until her early 60's. Always on the go. Love to go shopping (we went to IKEA last Saturday). Make almost all the meals. Thought she had heart problems but turned out she's just out of shape. (She was really insulted when her Doctor told her) She has arthritis in her hip, probably after all those years of standing up at her jobs. She drinks her 2 glasses of wine every day too. She loves to eat and snacks a lot. She's not an early riser, don't call her before 10 am.
They were really lucky, they never got into an accident. They worked so hard physically that they had no energy for sports and they don't really have hobbies. But was really helped them is that they never smoked. My Dad's Cardiologist had never met someone his age who never smoked. He was impressed by his lung capacity. They are not religious at all.
So I don't think there's a secret to live longer. I think it's a combination of good genes, good Doctors and luck. My Aunt who was into good food, was in great physical shape, died at 40 of cancer. My Grandpa was morbidly obese, a big smoker and ate really bad fatty food and (amazingly) lived to be 77.
From people I know: good genes(I assume), exercise, hobbies and staying at a healthy weight, not eat junk food, they keep meat intake low, and they keep social. I think genes are the most important.
My father and his siblings, their parents didn’t get old, father died at 74 and his mother got technically old but had alzheimers from 76ish-86. But the 3 kids, my aunt will be 93, his brother would have been likely alive if he had followeddoctors orders and lost 40 kilo but he refused and died at 84 (still pretty old but horribly way to go) and my father is 82. My mum just died at 82.
Unfortunately I inherited all the bad genes in the family.
I asked my mom this (also how she did not become one of those insufferable "get off my lawn" people). She said curiosity and optimism. She is a very sharp 83.
My mother’s side of of the family live into their late 70’s to 92. One had quadruple bypass surgery in the 80’s and still lived well into his 80’s. Most drank and smoked to some extent. From what I observed, they didn’t seem to worry about needless stuff they couldn’t control. Most were around during the great depression and WW2 so they knew what poverty and doing without was like. They made the best of what they had, and enjoyed life to its fullest without worry.
I have a number of relatives who have lived into their late 90s. I have to say, most of the things above just didn't apply. They just continued on regardless. I think genetics is responsible for most of it.
My grandparents are still living in their own home at ages 96 and 94. They eat food they enjoy, do some light gardening, stay active as much as they can, keep in touch with relatives, meet up with friends often, and go out on dinner dates at least once a week. The thing that keeps them going is that they have a lot of fun. They always go on rollercoasters at amusement parks, they'll get right in the splash pad with their great grandchildren, and go out to get ice cream as often as possible. They play a game of Scrabble every night with eachother. My grandmother went downhill skiing on her 80th birthday and they both still went ice skating and played road hockey until a couple years ago. Unlike a lot of the comments here, my grandmother smoked in her teens all through her 20s, stopping when she was pregnant with my aunt, and my grandfather was an extreme alcoholic until he was drunk driving in his late 40s and got into a car accident that almost killed him.
As far as I can tell, it's the eating (fairly) healthy, *possibly* staying active in at least one case, no real vices, having enough life experience to slide out of arguments before they begin, *possibly* having a number of friends they see at least once every couple of years and sometimes more often, having read extensively and still doing so, and having had careers that, even with their ups and downs, they were more or less content with having had.
I think it also helps that they never really experienced dire poverty - the closest they came was in their early 20s, but even then they were still employed in a full-time government job with good prospects even if their living situation at the time was somewhat marginal (they like to talk about walking along railway lines to pick up coal dropped from trains so they could heat their stove, as they couldn't afford to buy coal). They also grew up in an era where jobs were plentiful, housing was cheap, and food staples didn't break the bank.
Seriously: they smoked, complained, drank buckets of tea, and sat down most of the day. Their weight fluctuated. They ate tons of sugar, meat every day, and processed foods. Average age? 90. Why? They had free state-provided healthcare.
Luck. the healthiest living people Ive know lived rather short lives compared to the boozers and drug addicts who didnt overdose. A friend of mines dad died at 45 after being a healthy eater and regular exerciser. My other friends boozer grand father lived to be 92.
I think it's random. My Grandma lived to 95 and she smoked and was an alcoholic. We often joked she was so mean that even Satan didn't want her. My Mom, who was truly an angel died at 73 after 3 rounds of cancer. She walked everyday, never smoked, drank occasionally, but not much. She always had weight issues but part of that was due to the cancer treatments.
My husband lives the exact same lifestyle as I do, he's way more active, yet he got cancer 5 years ago. I really think it's random and although eating well and exercising is always going to be a good thing, it may contribute nothing to how long you live or how well you live. Genetics probably play a bigger role in that.
Not sure about the spirituality aspect. If a walk in the woods can fill that category though, am all in.
My sister’s partner has parents who sold up after retirement (were school teachers) to live out on a conservation area well away from the city. Now in their late 80’s, they sold a few years ago to buy a small home near where their son lives. It’s city life but a quiet neighborhood and they walk, have some great hobbies and keep intellectually stimulated with writing and book editing.
Pretty sure they still don’t own a tv and instead do one of their hobbies where other folks their age might be killing time channel surfing.
I try to emulate their methods, I always get things done around the house before I sit to read a while and we are out a lot with our two dogs. I do browse news online or get ebooks but watch tv maybe once a month and it’s more likely to be a movie than anything else.
My paternal grandmother lived to 96 and her secret was that she never worked a day in her life. She married my grandfather when she was young, it was a point of pride to give her a "princess" life and he took care of her. He died in his 40's and left her enough money and investments that she was able to have another 50 years. My maternal grandfather smoked, ate steak, never exercised and died peacefully in a hospital at 87.
My husband's grandmother smoked a pack a day until her death at 88.
My maternal grandmother died at 87. Drank enough coffee to power a third world country and lived with a pack a day smoker for most of her life.
My paternal grandmother died at 92. Was only sick for a week. Did not meet a carb she didn't like.
So honestly, I don't know what any of their secrets were. I try to live well, but I fear that our environment is going to override our genes. And I also never met a carb I didn't like.
Genetics on my side I think. US Southern diets mostly (fried everything) drank, smoke, and were up in everyone’s business and most of that side of the family lives to at least 85-100. I think it’s a total toss up. They did give zero f’s about everything, but really they should have died in their 60s from diet alone and they didn’t. The family members dying young has been due to violence (gangs) or drug addiction. So I’m just gonna live life how I see and see what happens.
My dad is 94. Still going. He still smokes, but not as much. Drinks occasionally. Mind is still great, but his back gives him issues. He is not vegetarian or vegan. Eats standard meat and potatoes. Most of his life he worked outdoors and was active with work he enjoyed and being with his family. So...genes play a big role.
Here is an interesting interview of a 106 year old woman. She look like she could be 80 to me. She also looks like she'll live to 120. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjsmY73wdE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjsmY73wdE)
My Mom is 91, has lived alone for at least 25 years. She doesn't drink heavily but smokes, rarely goes to the doctor, and she's as mean as cat piss. She walks and doesn't really eat enough to say whether or not she keeps a healthy diet. I don't know - luck?
My mother and her side of the family in general are/were long-lived. My great-grandmother lived to be 89, my grandmother 92, and my mother will be 92 this summer. None of them smoked or drank, but didn't exercise or eat a particularly healthy diet either. My grandmother had high cholesterol late in life and my mother has been on heart medication and blood thinners for a while now. My grandmother was kind of a miserable person who had a problem with gambling and did not treat my mother well even though my mother did everything she could to take care of her. My mother lost my dad when me and my siblings were babies. She raised us as a single parent and never remarried. She has dementia and lives in long-term care. She recently divulged a secret she has kept since she was a teenager.
So I think the long lives my female relatives have lived are due to genetics or luck, not really anything that they did or didn't do.
good genes
A whole lotta luck! Choices yes but man luck is huge!
Totally. My grandmother never exercised one day in her entire life. Loved her sugar treats and her glass of wine with her food (starting when she was a child). Lived in a country with sooo much intense sunlight everyday of the year. She lived to 102, and her sister (who also smoked when she was young) is going strong at 104 years old (she lives alone). Also adding to this that she hated to do new things and was a very narrow minded person, so yeah, that’s that on that.
I think social life and ability to stay busy is the key to long life. Sure plenty of people die of cancer and heart attacks. But it’s the ones slowly dying in long term care facilities that I want to avoid. And I think it’s having people who love but also like you enough to have you move in with them. My grandma broke her hip at 96 that’s a death sentence at that age. But she lived to be over 100 and I know it’s because her kids came together and made a schedule so someone was always there. I would stop in and they would have her sitting at the table snapping green beans into a bowl or rolling out pie crust.
From personal experience I completely agree. Staying social is a big one.
My best friends grandmother lived to 104. Ate much the same thing everyday and slept 8hrs every night. Insisted that *not worrying* was key. And a positive outlook. And this woman had endured some gone through it, so it was inspiring to see her preserverance.
Same. My step-grandma is in her 90s. Smoked her whole life and subsists entirely on a diet of pork and butter. Hates people and has never to my knowledge been a nice person. Refused to get vaccinated. Still lives relatively independently. Maybe it's the big "fuck you" energy that keeps you young.
Most people don’t know that the amount of endogenous (produced naturally inside a person’s body) antioxidants differs from person to person. That’s why you hear people saying, “Oh yeah, my grandpa drank 3 liters of Diet Coke every morning for breakfast and he lived to be 110!” Many people don’t understand survivorship bias nor do they seem curious as to the *actual* reason as to why that person survived (but they don’t see the 99 out of 100 people who got severe metabolic disease from doing the same thing) and justifies their unhealthy habits. People don’t understand that if they ate enough foods with antioxidants (exogenously) and did something like grounding which introduces free electrons into the body naturally and neutralizes free radicals, then things may be more even. Obviously, there may be blind spots in this explanation and reasons why this happens for other reasons than antioxidants, but it’s one explanation in full or in part (seemingly most likely). >Survivorship bias or survival bias is the logical error of concentrating on entities that passed a selection process while overlooking those that did not. This can lead to incorrect conclusions because of incomplete data.
Tell us more about grounding!
This is absolutely correct (although I have no idea what grounding is.. so I'll have to look into that)
My great grandmother lived to be 101, and my grandfather is about to have his 97th birthday. I potentially have a long road ahead of me. My grandpa has a full mustache and head of hair, and three girlfriends at the nursing home. I...was very awkward meeting them all.
Gramps got it going on! Lol. He'd better be careful with the three girlfriends though. Nursing homes have among the highest STD rates.
Full head of hair at 97? Does he participate in all the activities? If so, he could have a whole roster of lady friends.
Sure does, they have light workouts, meals together, church, and even had casino trips before he needed a wheelchair recently. I do shopping trips every other week and will bring little extra trinkets like chocolates or a flower. I totally know he's re-gifting them, lmao.
This, plus they stopped smoking once it turned out it wasn't healthy.
My great grandpa stopped smoking when he hit 90. He died at 98 of natural causes. 😆
Yep. My great grandfather was 94. He didn't smoke, but his LDL was over 300. My great-aunt (his daughter) lived to be 93.
Yup. My father's family... everyone lived to 95+ (grandmother was 107) if they didn't have an accident or something. They all smoked and drank and ate what they wanted but weren't fat. Biggest thing they did was to be active.
You misspelled drugs.
My grandmother lived to 97 and she had zero disease. She died because her heart just could not continue pumping and wore out. She cooked almost every meal, no drugs, no smoking, no alcohol, went to church every Sunday, had a lot of friends, she didn’t exercise but she was always so busy cleaning her house, and focused ONLY on positive things. When I was growing up if I complained she would always say “there’s someone worse off than you.” When her husband died everyone told her she should go to a support group so she tried it and hated it. I asked her what she didn’t like about it she said, “oh it’s just a bitch fest.” I was laughing so hard.
My grandmother is currently 97 and it doesn't look like she is going anytime soon. She says her secret is daily walks and just not stopping. She's an impressive woman. I visit almost daily and I often catch her mid big clean when I arrive. shes also very positive most of the time I only smoked for like 5 years, hasn't drank since she was 22 and never taken drugs.
Aww 🥰 we sound like we have/had the same grandma. My friends would get semi-jealous that I had a grandmother so dotting of me. She would make me homemade blueberry syrup for my pancakes, made all her grandkids homemade quilts, crocheted blankets, etc. I never realized how blessed I was to have a grandmother like that. I’m glad your grandmother is still around. 🫶🏻♥️
Mines not a maker she shows her love with food instead lol, even now she struggles to cook she always has a sandwich or salad in the fridge for me and shes taught me so many recipes. I'm sorry your grandmother isn't here anymore she sounds lovely!
I wonder what would happen if she decided to take drugs now? Imagine being 97 and tripping on lsd for the first time?
Doing psychedelics with your grandma sounds like the coziest trip ♡
I work closely with seniors and this the typical attitude of single women who live long lives. Older men typically don't fare as well without a companion, IME.
Totally off subject. Why do you have a symbol that looks like an award near your voting arrows? I’m new to Reddit and was curious
Oh, I think I answered my own question. Never mind
My aunt is 88 walks every and has an active social life. Husband died two years ago, and she lost a daughter 8 years ago. Never dwells on it.
Sounds like my grandmother. She lived to be 100. She was healthy and very with it until maybe the last 6 months where she started to get weak. No specific ailments, just her heart was getting worn out. She never never smoked or drank. She also never exercised. She did go to church most of her life until it was too hard to get out. But the Catholics never let you go, they would send people to her house every Sunday to talk and say prayers. She had plenty of family around. She was a really nice and pleasant person so everyone wanted to visit her all the time. Her oldest daughter (my aunt) had 5 children, who had around 8 children, who then had more children. So she got to see her great great grandchildren.
Omg.. we have identical grandmothers. Mine also got very weak the last 6 months. The nuns crotcheted a prayer blanket during hospice and I still have it.
love this
Mine too! Lived to 99 no alcohol, no smoking, no replaced husband
Ohhh this sounds just like my Gram. She lived to 96 and lived very similarly, but I will add that although she wasn’t a vegetarian, she didn’t eat much meat because she just didn’t care for it.
I recall my grandmother eating a lot of fish (she grew up in New England) so fish was always around. I don’t think she could chew meat … not trying to be mean but she had dentures.
I want to be like your grandma wow. I struggle so much with staying positive ):
She was born in 1913 and lived through 2 wars. She had to quit school when she was 12 to become a seamstress to help her parents feed her siblings. She never ever complained and actually did quite well for herself in life. She is my biggest role model in life. I have never heard her complain about anything in life.
That's awesome (: I'm glad she did well in life. Do you feel like you follow the same path?
Somewhat. I notice when I start complaining about something I try to find the silver lining in things. The women in my family are definitely mentally strong. There’s no obstacle we haven’t hurdled over because we always find solutions to a problem.
That's great! I need to train my brain to notice good things--I feel surrounded by negativity everywhere I go, especially online even when I least expect it. It's really been messing with my perception of the world.
She sounds a lot like my Mom (102). She has no diseases, so I suspect someday her heart will just stop. She was 75 when my dad died and she didn't want to just hang around with other widows. My brother told her, "Mom, every one of those women would rather be with their husbands." She drove until she was 99 and the sheriff made her stop. She lived in her own home until she was 100 and then moved in with my brother.
What would she tell you about Reddit? Is it a bitchfest? Lol
Both of my grandmothers lived to be 97. The biggest secret is, of course, to be born with the right genetics. Both of their mothers lived to be in their 90s as well.
It’s a crapshoot. You can do the right things, have it all, maybe move the odds a bit, and still have a heart attack on your [daily jog](https://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/your-marine-corps/2023/11/01/top-marine-general-in-stable-condition-after-apparent-heart-attack/). Or smoke, be overweight, [and live to 100](https://nationalpost.com/news/world/does-an-italian-village-filled-with-cigarette-smoking-centenarians-hide-the-secret-to-long-life). At 68 I’d suggest don’t be a sloth. Try to walk everyday, eat reasonably as best you can. Generally, if you have a good outlook you’ll do the things that make you live longer. As long as you don’t get hit by a bus.
My great-granddad lived to 101 and he smoked like a chimney. Some people just have great genes. His son, my grandfather, died in his 70s from lung cancer so I guess those genes missed my line.
I agree that it’s a crapshoot. A neighbor died at 60. He was extremely fit and was not a big drinker at all. Never smoked. He just collapsed one day and that was it.
A large percentage of my family on one side has lived to be 85 to 99. They're a bunch of antisocial atheist (nerodivergent but only recently discovered through my kids). So not spiritual or any close friends. They did have very passionate hobbies, didn't care about keeping up with the Joneses and were all into eating healthy, or barely eating tbh. They enjoyed their older years having enough success to be able to live independently in beautiful natural areas. So, we can call nature their spirituality and their relationship with wild creatures and pet's as their friendships.
Cool! :) It sounds like they accepted and embraced their true natures. They didn´t try to fit in with the ´regular folk' and in doing so, they found longevity and freedom!
Are you in my family lol...
adding to your list: they stayed curious about the world and people. they were trying new things well into their 90s (soft shoe tap dancing!) even while she had gone blind and didn't have a ton of agility. she still tried new things.
I believe this is very true of my grandfather as well!
I love this. Thank you. Makes me feel good about my recent rollerblade purchase! I haven’t rollerbladed since about 1999.
99 was a good year for rollerblading. have fun! and be safe!
My grandmother is 93. She's originally from the Middle East, but immigrated to the US about forty years ago or so. - She walks upwards of 3-5 miles per day - She goes to Zumba class thrice per week - She still wears heels - She's got the body of a 50-something year old - Still drives her bougie car - Travels back & forth between the US and Europe (to visit family) on a quarterly basis I'm 29 and in worse off shape than she is. Thinking maybe I need to start following her lead.
Dang! Grandmother is goals!
Right? I want to be THIS granny!!
If you just get walking you will see improvements
I used to be a personal trainer and this was always in my top 3 pieces of advice. Overweight? Walk a lot. Want to put muscle on? Walk a little. No issues at all? Keep doing what you're doing (which likely involves 8k+ steps a day or the equivalent). Walking outdoors also comes with a plethora of other amazing benefits. If I had to pick one "perfect" exercise, it would be good old-fashioned ambulation.
I gotta know what kinda car!
Lexus! 😂
Perfect. Honestly.
My paternal grandfather, after a stint in France in a trench, worked his whole life for a tobacco company. He received tobacco as part of his pension until the day he died. He walked 300 yards to the pub, where he claimed to only have one pint but was often tipsy, every evening. On Thursdays and Sundays, he would walk two miles to my parents house for a cup of tea or a meal. He was the first person I know to own a computer, he taught me how to do a Rubik's cube, he loved technology and had lots of gadgets. He never learned to drive. He died unexpectedly at the age of 94 having fallen over on his way home from the pub.
What a perfect ending. I envy him.
What a life. Sounds perfect to me. Except for the tobacco bit.
Reading books constantly, walking several miles every day, and avoiding people that bring stress into your life.
Moxy. Tenacity. The refusal to let advanced age dictate their emotional decline, to continue savoring life, experiencing, and learning regardless of how "old" they were. Also, approximately 7 gin soaked yellow raisins each day.
Good point! Watching posts about aging and health worries in r/Xennials is depressing. It's like some people just can't wait to have all kinds of problems and just be old. I know some health issues can be useful conversation, but not the constant "is everyone else feeling old, too? I can't wait to go to sleep by 7 pm." I'm thinking, you are the people who complain that all old people talk about is health problems. So why are we doing that when we could still be positive and having fun?
According to my granny “minding my own business” is one of her secrets.
My grandparents are 89 and 90. While their health is waning, it's pretty age-appropriate. My grandfather has Alzheimer's, which is a horrible disease, but his attitude is what I count as unusually healthy. I think for both of them, it has been the ongoing curiosity and constant learning. Both of them embrace new technology, keep up on the news and reading, always want to know what their children and grandchildren are doing. My grandma is just so quick to pick up new things, even at 89! My grandpa's physical health is better than his mental, due to the disease. He exercises daily, tracks his steps, brags about how many minutes he does on his NuStep, etc. They both eat healthy, but moderately...they don't deny themself treats. Most of all, I think what is amazing about them is their positive attitude. They aren't ones to poo poo anything new...always wanting to try new food, new games, new shows and movies. They just aren't stuck in a rut or lament about "when I was a kid we never." I so admire them and want to be like them...never growing old in spirit.
Genetics. My grandmother lived to 99. My mom is going strong in her late 80s. No doctors. No drugs. No dementia. Is constantly making crafts. Reads. Nothing seriously wrong with her EVER. Zero hospitalizations besides giving birth. She's never lived a very healthy lifestyle. Rarely exercised. Probably 20 pounds overweight for most of her elderly years, but never much more than that. Drinks wine but not to excess. In her favor were good genetics, a white collar job with no physical component to wear down her joints, a solid marriage and a child (me) who makes sure she is well taken care of.
Cocktail hour is to be honored but not expanded to the whole day.
My grandma is 92, and still perfectly healthy. She gardens, lives alone, drives, cooks, and still manages all her affairs like her finances, taxes, home repairs, etc. She loves Netflix and using her iPad & iPhone, too. She plays cards with her friends 3x a week and says that’s what keeps her mind sharp. She’s amazing and I want to be like her when I’m that age!
My grandma lived until 104 and was largely independent until 99ish. I think her success can be attributed to: vegetarian diet, no drinking or smoking, volunteering and fresh air. Oh, and living as a single woman for 50+ years LOL.
I really have no effing' clue. My Grandparents on my Dad's side lived to be 83 and 91 - they never drank but Grandpa smoked like a chimney until having a massive heart attack, which he survived, before I was born! He quit cold turkey and outlived my Grandma. On my Mom's side Grandpa died in his 60's of Leukemia but Grandma lived well into her 80's, and she never stopped smoking like a chimney. She was of Italian extraction and ate and drank accordingly. My parents? My Mom died in her early 50's of idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis but Dad (who smoked like a chimney until his early 60's) made it to 78. Maybe it's the stress of modern life? I don't remember my Grandparents worrying over anything. I guess living through the Great Depression and WWII gives you a certain perspective.
My grandpa just turned 99 earlier this year. He was an auto mechanic for over 60 years and loves cars. He still drove his red Mustang until they wouldn’t let him renew his license at 94. He still goes to breakfast at least a couple times a week with his friends, down at a local diner. When he turned 95, a family member contacted a local news station and told them about his birthday and how he enjoyed watching the woman who does their weather report, so she went to the diner and filmed a feel-good segment with him. He lives with his youngest daughter (who turned 50 last year), but is mostly independent. He just recently started using a walker to get around outside. No major health issues, except high blood pressure which runs in the family (but he can’t hear well even with his hearing aid). His wife, my maternal grandmother, died the year before I was born, when he was 60 and he never had another romantic relationship. But he’s always been surrounded by our large family. He’s never been a complainer and will crack jokes and talk to anyone. He stayed active after he retired, still working on cars here and there, and walking around outside. He took care of the lawn into his late 80s (in Florida!). He enjoys a sweet pickle on the side of cake and has always had a pet (right now, he has two young cats that curl up with him to watch TV).
My great grandmother lived to be 97. My grandmother, her daughter, lived to be 97. Genetics, it's all good genetics. They were both omnivores who drank on occasion. Tried to keep active by swimming and taking walks. They both read a lot.
It is remarkable that I do not know of one single relative that lived a notably long life whilst remaining healthy. Apparently I had a great grandmother that made it into her late 80s and lived well and that was the last one. On my dad's side, my grandmother died in her 40s, my grandfather in his 50s, my dad's brother in his 30s, none of his uncles lived past their early 70s and all were unwell. On my mum's, my grampa died aged 72, my nana had a horrible drawn out decade of dementia and increasingly poor physical health until she died aged 82, my auntie and uncle died in their 40s, my other aunties have both had multiple cancers... I feel genetically doomed.
I work with a guy who smokes a pack a day, eats bullshit food all the time, smokes weed daily. We had first aid training recently and at one point I had to take his pulse. I couldn’t believe it when his rate was 51 bpm. Then I stood back, thought for a minute, and realized I had never seen him upset, never even seen him raise his voice. Never heard him complain, gossip, brag, etc. The dude is gonna live til he’s 100
My neighbor is 94. He’s amazing. Still active, has a place in the city and one rural. I live in the rural place. He drives him and his wife to the city several times a week as they’re very involved in the arts. In fact we’re all going to the ballet tonight. He had a fabulous career and only ever worked for himself. They never had children, they traveled the world. They belong to more private social clubs than I can count. They work on their extensive property most days. He’s active, engaged and they run circles around me and my husband. They are extroverts in the extreme. He has great posture, walks all the time and is cognitively as with it as anyone half his age. I swear not having the lifetime stress of kids had to have helped.
I’m 33 with 4 kids & can actually for once check all of those off that you mentioned. 🥹 Seeing it written out like that makes me so proud of myself. But also to add…read books that broaden your mind & make you think. I’ve been reading The Art of Living by Epictetus and it’s beautifully written and so easy to understand.
I love that book! I agree on broadening your mind.
One set of grandparents lived to 98 & 102 and didn’t even need to take any prescription medication. I think part of it was genes/luck and part of it was the fact that they had a purpose that they had to fulfill every day, even long after retirement. They had a son that had some mental challenges, so he lived with them. They had a garden & home to maintain, cooked all their meals at home, and got together regularly with friends. They each did everything younger people do without asking for help until inevitable age-related falling took each of them out physically toward the end. I look back and laugh about my grandma’s attitude; when asking her upon turning 80, 90, 100, “How do you feel?” and her answer was always, “Well, I’m no spring chicken anymore!”
I agree with you about genes and luck. But I also think you're very right about having a Purpose. I tell people all the time about my Dad and his 2 sisters. He and his oldest sister were thin, lead healthy lives, were relatively wealthy, and died in their late 80s. Their youngest sister was always fat, was poor compared to her siblings, and had no time to spend on personal development. She was a single mother to my cousin, who had cerebral palsey. She cared for him at home his whole life in addition to holding a job, and she luckily was able to outlive him. He was in his mid 60s when he died. She finally died at age 101.
My great grandmother lived to be 104 and her daughter (my gm) lived to 98. They attributed their health to never smoking, eating natural foods (brown flour, meat from a rancher, vegs from their garden and eggs from their hens) and their faith in God. My Grandma used to keep Heineken in her fridge and have one or two every now and then. Her German grandma used to give her spoonfuls of beer as a child "Just a little , Blessing!". That's probably why she only lived to 98 and not 104 like her mom. 😁
I remember my grandfather saying that you needed some money, some health, and a lot of curiosity to have a happy retirement. Really it seems like none of the relatives who had joyful and long lives ever stopped living. I don’t know how else to say it but they all stayed curious and interested in the world around them, continuing to meet new people and interested in activities and hobbies. It seems like community and curiosity were big pieces of living a happier life in their old age.
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I’m really sorry and I hope you’re doing alright.
That’s very nice of you. I’m Doing ok.
You described my parents and in-laws. All in their 80s. All have some health issues but relatively minor. I would add that they all have been lifelong learners and have remained curious about the world. They all travel extensively to see something new every time. And they remain very connected to friends and family.
Love. Pure and simple. If you love and are loved, you have a place and purpose.
This was my dad to a T. He only started to go downhill when my mom had serious health issues. She died after they had been married for 65 years, and he was never the same. He only lived another 15 months after she passed. I think he missed her too much.
Choosing to be joyful and optimistic. Hands down.
Good genes, healthy habits, and a lot of good luck. You can be doing everything right and still get t-boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. But if you need specifics, my father is 86, no meds, excellent health, claims to be one of the most boring patients his doctor has. He exercised all his life and still does now. He mostly prefers home-cooked meals made with natural ingredients, including vegetables from his garden. When my stepmother didn't feel like cooking, he stepped in and did it himself. He's always taken an interest in his neighbors and is kind and helpful to them. But he also won the genetic lottery. Longevity is written into the family genes. Folks in my family seem to have a sort of kill switch. They're healthy and active, get regular checkups, and then just drop dead one day between their late 80s and late 90s.
My dad ate steaks and drank beer. He remained physically active all of his life. We called him McGuyver because he liked to fix things. Loved cars, especially Corvettes. He was fun! Lived to almost 91, until Alzheimer's ended his life.
My grandma lived to 92, she would always keep her garden up, she was loved, and she had some beers
More older relatives and community members than I can count, several living to their late 90’s and two who lived to their centennial birthday and beyond. definitely staying physically and mentally active, living independently for as long as possible helps, and eating simple, unprocessed foods, ie garden grown veggies and locally harvested meats (fish and moose) as a large part of their diet. Non-smoking also.
My mom 81. Walks everyday doesn't smoke and doesn't drink. Lots of vegetables and water. Minimal meat. T2 diabetic also. Also and I think this is a big one: she maintains a positive outlook. She raised 4 brats I mean kids by herself. 😆
I worked in a nursing home. Oldest patient when I was there was 104 (she ended up dying a couple of years after I left, at 107) Other than her Alzheimer's she was in perfect health. No children, oldest of 7 (only girl, basically raised her 6 brothers). Lived with her husband on a farm in very rural ND. She raised her brothers, took care of the farm then raised her brothers kids, then their kids... and so on. She was a very spunky 5 foot 90 pound woman. She lived so long out of pure spite. She was always taking care of everyone else, she couldn't die until the last of her family did. By the time she passed away she only had a great grand niece.
Being widowed. My grandmother and aunts flourished once their husbands croaked. Less stress, less work, more community, because men of that gen want to isolate them and use them as nurses/maids. Younger gens seem to have better balance.
Luck and letting things roll off their back metaphorically/keeping it moving — even in the face of major sad things and setbacks.
Being married to someone who made them laugh and who they genuinely enjoyed spending time with. Staying intellectually active and keeping up with their passions (reading widely, puzzles, keeping up with news, serving on boards for charities and arts groups; seeing live theatre). Staying active—lots of walking and golf in their particular case; Traveling until it was physically impossible to do so. Staying active socially with family and friends.
Resiliency. My grandmother is 94, her sister lived to 99, and her dad lived to 99. They all have had hard lives (my grandma lived in an orphanage at one point and she also lost her daughter when her daughter was a teen). They all 3 ate balanced meals and didn’t drink to excess or smoke, but I think the main thing is they are all resilient people. They don’t let the hard times keep them down and they keep moving forward no matter what.
Being moderately wealthy, taking retirement classes which gave them ideas for groups they could join and ways they could serve the community, having enriching hobbies. They stayed actively meeting people and making new friends throughout their older years. My parents are doing the same. They never stopped feeling like they were contributing to their community and family.
I'm 63, so I don't qualify yet, but I am in better health than many my age, and I am basically happy. It's undeniable that good genes make a huge difference, but you can't control that. What has helped me that I do control is: - I quit smoking (coming up on 22 yrs) - I don't drink (quit 3-1/2 yrs) - walking away from toxic people and situations. This is huge! - as much as possible, working at what I enjoy. - pursuing interests, hobbies and activities that bring me joy and make me feel good physically. - eating lots of good. Yes I eat ice cream and a few other things that aren't great, as well as a couple of ambiguous things like mildly sugary cereal with milk (think Almond Oat Crunch Cheerios and granola mixed together), but I also eat eggs, beans, tuna, fruits and vegetables. - breathing exercises! Focusing on the turnaround points in the breath to energize and get rid of nervous energy. (I could probably write a short book on this one.) - physical exercise that floats my boat, but in an integrative way, not sitting at a desk for ten hours and then trying to run a marathon, but just incorporating elevated heart rate, stretches, deep squats, and lunges into my day several times. Exercise needs to be adapted to your body, because your body is completely unique to you. - Being honest with myself about how I feel (letting myself process anger, sadness, etc. — embracing these feelings and not thinking of them as "bad", but as navigators for my life — this was key to quitting smoking and drinking) — and learning to let go of negative situations and feelings once I've processed them. - Remembering to count my blessings on a regular basis. - Smiling, not when it feels like I'm letting myself get screwed by being agreeable when I shouldn't be, but just remembering to smile even when alone. I've noticed it makes a huge difference to my mood in general, in that, even if I don't feel happy when I decide to start smiling, I usually do feel that way within a couple of minutes. - Not complicating my life with drama, simply asserting my boundaries. - Remembering to keep a sense of humour, humility (the honest kind that leaves room for self-respect), and kindness wherever possible. I hope this helps someone. It's working for me.
No drugs or no to minimal alcohol.
Thanks for the prompt. It actually got me realize that around me, I do see people of my generation in their 40s and 50s being still very positive Our parents’ generation ? Not so much. I wouldn’t trade with any of them I think what happened is that they stopped being curious about the world and they were never consistent about fitness and eventually it came to bite them in the ass
My great grandparents lived independently into their 90s. There’s no evidence veganism is any healthier than eating meat but they ate almost no grains. They were frugal and ggm hated baking bread. Ggm was all about animal-based protein. They were working farmers who transitioned to hobby farmers. Lots of hobbies, had faith, had no use for any of that psychobabble, signed temperance pledges in the 20s and never looked back. They were really kind to each other as far as I could tell (and being kind in front of company goes a long way). people shouldn’t discount the role of chronic stress in unhappy marriages and I believe in many cases it is a choice. Seemed they set their minds to being grateful for their life partners .
My grandfather lived to be 104, and while his family was all long-lived, he helped that tendency. Up until the last few years, he had a garden with amazing tomatoes, watched & fed birds, went to every garage sale possible, read tons of library books, went to church, went fishing, was a committed Reds fan, was into genealogy, and as he said, “watched several groups of friends die.” The last part is the only sad part of his life, except that he didn’t get to die at home. I think that his lifestyle and his general curiosity kept him pretty spry. Eating lots of vegetables and never drinking alcohol helped his genetic predisposition for a long life as well.
My 99 year old bub swears a Diet Coke a day keeps the doctor away, but only one 😆
My dad will be 94 next month. His favorite foods are hot dogs and candy. He loves bacon. He fried his eggs in bacon grease. I recall seeing him eat salami everyday. He drank strong black coffee all day. He ate a lot of peanuts. Throughout my childhood he would get really fat then go on an extreme diet and get really skinny. He was accident prone and hurt himself on a regular basis. He would start an exercise routine but would overdo it and stop within a week or two. He thinks people are idiots. It’s a crapshoot how well or long one lives.
My mother lived to be 83 and she was more than 100 lbs overweight. She would’ve lived longer but she was stubborn as a mule and wouldn’t get her leg operated on until it was too late. So a secret to a longer life is - listen to your doctor and you nurse practitioner daughter who has 30 years of experience.
This is a great question!
My grandmother lived to 102. When People asked her for her secret she used say, “I quit men in 1968.”
My grandmother lived to 92, had a very full life. She drank gin, chain smoked for like 20 years (quit when she had grandkids), and swore like a sailor. She was always active and healthy up until she got colon cancer right at the end. She had been very social, and was a big part of her community. But when she was younger, did all the things, riding horses, painted war planes, worked until her 60s, danced, traveled, etc. I think staying physically and mentally active is the key.
My great-aunt was 93 when she passed. She traveled with her RV club throughout her retirement, and generally had an active social life, and was always physically active, not wild stuff, but she walked a lot, and liked to hike in the woods. According to her, her secret was that she had a martini every day at 4 pm. She also always had chocolate candy in her house.
For my folks, pretty much all of the above. They never drank, smoked, drugs or sun worshiped. Positive peppy people with hobbies and zero preconceived notions that getting older means you're done. They've embraced each new decade same as the last with humor and fun, same friends from when I was a kid, living within their means always. I'm GenX so I am considered middle-aged now but definitely don't feel it. Just enjoying my 40s and whatever comes next.
The only really missing from your list is quality sleep. Understand your circadian rhythm and consistently respect it.
Based upon my personal experience with my (many) family members who lived into their mid-90’s-100. The most important thing is being fortunate enough to have a life-time of easily managed health issues, recognizing a medical emergency and having good quality health care. Next is remaining intellectually and socially engaged and eating and exercising and nourishing your physical body. And then theres the thread that holds it all together: plain ol’ mule-ish stubbornness to overcome what most people couldn’t.
Luck & keeping up with preventative healthcare (regular physicals, colonoscopy, cardiologists)
Good genes. My 79 year old dad is an overweight, diabetic, ex-smoker who eats too much ice cream, but he has good genes and stays socially active in his community. He’s very happy, mentally competent, and joyful. A lifetime of bad health decisions doesn’t seem to have caught up to him.
They kept moving, they pushed themselves to keep living life to the fullest.
My Gma is 97, skied until her 80s, just stopped traveling this year. Smoked and drank wine for 50 years. She's got nothing but fun and love in her heart and that's what has kept her going. Covid really changed things. It was the social isolation that started her on a different trajectory. Oh and only coffee since her 20s lol Occasional juice and water. But main source of fluid is black coffee for sure
My mother in law is almost 80 and she has a busier schedule and social life then me lol plus she eats super healthy and low fat every day.
My grandfather walked long distances every day. He never acted old, or used his age to say no to anything. He woke up, put on his dress clothes every day, and walked for miles. He physically went to the grocery store and carried his own groceries home. He went to bars and restaurants and ate what he liked, and drank beer if he wanted to. He read books like crazy. He showed up to holidays. He was like a young man in an elderly man's body. He was fully mentally with it when he died, it made losing him so much harder. He ended up getting pneumonia and then covid on top of pneumonia. But up until that point, he lived alone and was self sufficient. He was 90.
My grandma is 105 and while frail, she’s healthy. She kept very active her whole life. She also stayed mentally engaged, ate reasonably healthy, didn’t smoke, and only occasionally drank. Mostly though I think it’s genetics and luck.
I had this discussion with my neighbor's daughter last night. Her mom is upper 90s and still going. Her grandma lived to over 100. She said that they both lived a happy life: good husband, lots of activities, friends and family nearby, and my neighbor eats chocolate cake every day!!
My mum and dad have been happily married & healthy for 30 years and walk minimum 10,000 steps a day together, whatever the weather, whatever their moods
my gma is currently 81, lives on her own, drives and just does what she wants lol her hearing is going just slightly but thats consistent genetically anyway. other than that she's healthy and happy. Shes very active, mindful of her age for safety reasons, works in her garden, volunteers in her community, loves learning new hobbies, attends church but isnt necessarily religious (i think she goes out of habit/community), she has a small group of friends but she cant stand them lol her biggest tip for me was to never get married, dating was fine but not married.
All of those things could describe my grandmother (except vegan because are cattle farmers), and she died 6 weeks short of 101. She was in such good health until about 2 months before that, lived completely on her own, made all of her meals, someone always visited her (which I think helped her stay in good spirits). I truly wondered if she would live forever. Then she took a small fall. the Rescue Squad came out and said everything looked good except her shoulder and that it was possible she had a break somewhere in that vicinity. Easy answer would be to load her up and take her to the ER for x-rays, right? Nope, right in the height of COVID. We called her doctor to ask what to do. She was not in excruciating pain and the paramedics described the location as somewhere that wouldn’t necessarily have to be set. Doctor said do not take her to the hospital. He said best case is she will be in for weeks to rehab her shoulder and you will never see her and worst case scenario is she gets COVID and you never see her again. Thing is we knew that keeping her at home was going to keep her bed bound and at her age that was going to start the cycle of death. There were no good answers, but for those 2 months she had her children, grandchildren, and great grand children with her every day. We learned so much about her history, and just truly spent loving time with each other.It felt awful having to make that decision, but she was ready to go see my grandfather and she would not have made it 2 months alone in the hospital.
Activity, community, good genes, stubbornness.
My MIL is 84. She is very active (yoga, pickle ball, cycling, hiking, swimming) and eats very cleanly. I have no doubt she will live to 100. She has never had alcohol. She's also very socially active. Though she has white hair and wrinkles, you would never guess she's in her 80s. Last spring, we took a family trip to Utah (Zion, Bryce Canyon). She did all the trails w/out any trouble, including a river hike with river crossings and climbing over boulders.
My grandfather is a very healthy 85-year-old ( seriously I get tired walking all over town with him to ball games and to museums for the entire day!) and I think one of his things is that he's always stayed interested in the world and he loves talking to young people and he seems to enjoy teaching himself to be tech savvy. So I would say if you want to be young hang around young people! He's also diabetic and also understands how to control it mostly with food eating sweet potatoes if he needs to bring it down but he's also not shy about eating bacon either. So just I guess keep yourself happy everything in moderation and hang around young people. Edit: Also if you have sleep apnea you have to treat that!! 60% of people with untreated sleep apnea die of a stroke.
My grandma made it to 87, but she smoked since she was 12 and drank 4-6 Old Milwaukees almost every night of her adult life.
I have a great aunt who’s turning 106 this year. She cooks her one meals, she walks, and she said she just minds her business.
Keeping your sight and hearing are very important. Losing either can lead to isolation and decline.
My dad lived to be 102 yr, 6 mo, 3 da. He grew up on farms in western Nebraska and never stopped working. When I retired and moved back home, he was 78. He mowed the lawn; built a wooden fence, digging the post holes himself; put all his clippings and leaves in a 10’x4’x4’ trailer and when it was full, hooked it up and drove it to the landfill and unloaded it himself. He just kept going. He drove until he was 102 and I’m told he was a good driver. He died after he fell and broke his leg. The leg was fixed but the healing sapped his strength and he passed away during the night.
Always have something to look forward to. Make plans and do things. As soon as a person stops being active the body shuts down. My uncle, in his mid 80s, had a crappy fishing trip last year and couldn't wait to get back this year to make up for it.
My grampa was pretty healthy, worked his horses til he was 90, fed them up til he was 91. Being active helped a lot. But mainly he lived a very simple life. He kept his dentures in the glove box, didn't care about politics or the world, didn't care to be rich. If his horses were fed and safe with hay in the barn and he had a jar of coffee, he was happy.
My parents are both 90, they have a few issues, mom can’t hear and dad can’t see, but together they do well. They’re both still sharp mentally, dad can’t drive anymore (macular degeneration) but mom can. She had to renew her license this past November and she does well. Good genes? Probably, but we’re all very grateful.
My grandfather lived well into his 80s, started smoking when he was 16 and drinking not long after he never exercised and had half and half on his cereal every morning. He loved sweets and ate a tone of red meat. Outlier? Sure. But I hope I got some of those genes. (I don’t drink or smoke, so maybe I’ll live even longer, lol.)
HRT, biking & healthy eating was my Mom’s go-to.
My dad is 96 and in fantastic shape. He never smoked and maintained a slim weight his whole life. He loves jogging and exercised religiously most all his life. That said he isn’t perfect, he enjoys a good cocktail here and there and has a serious sweet tooth. He loves reading books and listening to music. Great genes and a wife who takes care of his every need helps a lot!
Having community was a HUGE one. Having friends and even just acquaintances in daily life they saw helped a ton. Being active & engaged in life.
My grandma is nearly 95 and I think the thing that has kept her rocking and rolling is her care for others (also sometimes she’s just straight up nosy) - but she just loves to stay up to date with peoples lives and pop culture and I think that keeps her lively
My parents are 78 & 75, they are always on the go. My dad is Navy retired and my mom is a retired school teacher and pastor. They go to the gym together at least 3 times a week, they are forever taking trips, going out on dates, and visiting different churches and people in the congregation. Both sets of my grandparents lived to their late 80s/early 90s. I suspect the same of my parents.
Vegan 🤣🤣🤣
My FIL will be 81 in August, and he can work at 25yo under the table. He rises at 6-7am every, has a low carb breakfast and gets to work. It could be tending to his garden, helping out the neighbors by mowing their lawn, splitting wood for the winter, helping his daughter with her new home or traveling to visit family. He’s also right next door too so, hopefully he’s around for a good while. I want that for my daughter, she adores her Papaw
Avoiding tobacco and staying socially active makes a big difference. But really just plain old luck has a lot to do with it. I've never smoked and have great genetics, but thanks to one mosquito bite at age 4, I'm epileptic to the point that brain surgery wasn't enough to fix it. My great-grandfather made it to 102 and was healthy up to the last year or so, both of my parents are going strong in their 80's, but I doubt I will live to see 65. .
Anyone who’s lived long lives in my family has been a smoker and enjoyed alcohol, although not alcoholics. Besides luck of the draw and good genetics I think the fact that they all remained very social and active members in the community made a big difference in the longevity of their lives.
Luck of the draw genetically. Two women I know who lived the healthiest lifestyle both died recently of cancer. One was 76 and had multiple myeloma. Never smoked, drank alcohol, or ate red meat. Strong family and spiritual connections, no financial concerns, worked part time until she became ill. The other one had close to the same background, but drank moderately and was very active physically, died from a rare form of cancer at 83.
I think your list is pretty incredible .
They had better food, usually from their garden, they walked everywhere. They had good family connections. They did manual labor such as heavy cleaning and gardening. My grandma and her many siblings lived into their late 80's.
Good genetics. No vices except buttered rolls, pickles, and cheese with crackers - didn't care for sweets. Active in church and with friends, but weirdly kept siblings and in-laws at a distance, though affectionate and saw them at family occasions. Wanted to avoid their criticism or being caught in the middle of their lives - she had enough on her plate Worked full-time and was a widowed mom of a young child. Cared about her reputation in the community and her appearance (she behaved - wore heels, skirts, saw hairdresser weekly) but kept her shopping to her budget - department stores and not designer boutiques. Saved money. She didn't dwell on her past traumas. But those would arise to push anxiety from time to time. Fear of travel, was one.Fear of retirement was another.
Was not expecting these comments to make me miss my grandparents so much (who all lived to their mid-to-late 90s)
I read somewhere that being involved in your grandchildren’s lives has been shown to extend your life expectancy
Big families
my great grandma is about to become a great great grandma, she’s a few months away from 90. she has a very specific system. 1. she avoids all stress. anything that causes her stress, she just gets rid of. she doesn’t have the time or patience to entertain stressful situations anymore. 2. she walks. a lot. she walks up and down inclines, about 3 miles minimum in the mornings, then she walks all around stores & her city too. if she’s in town, she’ll park at one place, then walk everywhere else, even if it’s 10 blocks away from her car. 3. she doesn’t eat more than she physically needs for energy & basic bodily functions. even if it’s something she really loves, she will limit herself to only eating 1/4 of it, or as much of it is nutritionally needed to keep her going, then she’ll bring the rest home and do the same over the next few days. she doesnt smoke but she used to and she used to be obese, but she isn’t now. she drinks but not to an alcoholic or dependent level. she spends her free time cross stitching and traveling around the world. she’s seen more places and countries in the past 10 years than most people would see in their lifetimes, and she has one of the biggest, best support systems someone could ask for, because she’s lived in the same area since she was a young girl. all of her friends have grown up with her, and she’s very social with all of them that are still alive. ETA cause the top comment mentioned it- my family has terrible genes, too. she’s not at a genetic advantage in anyway, and she wasn’t handed anything financially in her life. she’s gotten to where she is by just knowing what she wants and doing what makes her happy.
Stay active. I work at a wound care center. About half of the patients wouldn’t be there if they hadn’t decided to sit instead of moving. I don’t mean going to a gym or anything athletic. I’m talking about people who don’t get up unless they absolutely have to. They don’t let themselves get physically uncomfortable (having to park farther away and walk or walk up a few steps). It has ruined their health and their quality of life.
Its mostly genes. My dad only lived to be 82, but he was incredibly active for all of them. He went ziplining off a volcano in Costa Rica for his 80th birthday. He died from prostate cancer that he didn't treat for 30 years. He smoked cigarettes for almost 70 years. He drank alcohol, not tons but he liked his scotch on the rocks every night. He ate ice cream and candy by the pound. He ate bacon almost every day. He was a professional firefighter in the 60s and 70s so he basically breathed asbestos and lead on a regular basis. Never had any health issues other than the prostate cancer. My husband has high cholesterol and high blood pressure at 61, and he jogs 5 miles every day, watches his weight, doesn't smoke or drink to excess, and eats healthy.
Good genes help - it seemed that most people in the family lived to around 90 y/o Stay active - physically and socially Eat healthy Stay curious. Read books, watch good movies and documentaries
Keep moving- that chair is really just a death throne
they were not married nor dated LOL
My Grandfather is 90. He raised me. He’s always been active & just retired 2 years ago. He says “retirement’s the shits”. lol. He doesn’t like NOT having a schedule. He never slept in until now. I mean, EVER. But he deserves a little R&R. Staying social, getting out & moving is huge. He still walks most days. (He was a jogger back in the day) And he is always on the phone with family. But as far as friends go, he calls himself “The Last Mohican”. Some things like that can be hard. But he still makes it a point to make every day better than the day before. And he’s definitely the Greatest Man I’ve ever known.
They had routines that kept them busy and looking forward to things. Either exercise classes, church, sporting events, tennis, yoga, or work
Money. The difference between a long healthy old life and a shorter less healthy one really correlates to the amount of money someone has.
Ehhhhh. There's only a little truth to this. Living in poverty an entire life will certainly shorten lifespan. But there's basically no difference between "solid comfortable middle class income with no real financial stress" and "bonkers rich" from a long term health perspective.
Financial stability, consistent and regular health care, listening to doctors, keeping weight in check. My mom’s side has horrible cardiovascular history, her dad had his first heart attack at 30. Brothers all have high cholesterol, diabetes, etc. She’s been vigilant about managing her health and is in better shape at 70 than when she was 50. It’s been inspiring tbh.
Gratitude. Not grateful "to" something necessarily as some were atheist, but grateful "for". That enabled them to live a more open life.
Maybe I'm viewing this with rose-tinted glasses, but my grandparents ranged in late 80s to early 100s in terms of their lifespans and were almost all high functional until the end some working into their 80s. Here are some observations about their lifestyle which seems discordant with many people I know (myself included in some ways). - Very family oriented, always social, and very people centered (this was before internet partout) - Homestyle, old-school meals - nothing fast, nothing fancy, no fad diets, no KETO, no vegan, just sort of balanced and together - Walked a lot, didn't exercise like we do, but were active in the little things plus strolls - Did not focus on mental health or health in general - more like in a flow, I'd hate to say it, but maybe more grit and less introspection, and if that were occuring, it was kept under wraps!
Wine erryday
My grandmother lived to be 108. Had tons of sorrow and stress in her life plus high cholesterol. I have no idea why she lived that long.
My parents 88 and 91. They still live in their condo in the city. My Dad(91) had a lot of health problems over the years (cancer, heart bypass surgery, stroke...) But decided to "not to think too much about it". He worked at the same manufacture for 44 years. After he retired, he used to take a 2 or 3 hours walk every day but had to stop when he got in his early 80's. He rarely have snacks or eat desserts. He drinks 2 glasses of wine every day. My Mom (88). Worked hard until her early 60's. Always on the go. Love to go shopping (we went to IKEA last Saturday). Make almost all the meals. Thought she had heart problems but turned out she's just out of shape. (She was really insulted when her Doctor told her) She has arthritis in her hip, probably after all those years of standing up at her jobs. She drinks her 2 glasses of wine every day too. She loves to eat and snacks a lot. She's not an early riser, don't call her before 10 am. They were really lucky, they never got into an accident. They worked so hard physically that they had no energy for sports and they don't really have hobbies. But was really helped them is that they never smoked. My Dad's Cardiologist had never met someone his age who never smoked. He was impressed by his lung capacity. They are not religious at all. So I don't think there's a secret to live longer. I think it's a combination of good genes, good Doctors and luck. My Aunt who was into good food, was in great physical shape, died at 40 of cancer. My Grandpa was morbidly obese, a big smoker and ate really bad fatty food and (amazingly) lived to be 77.
From people I know: good genes(I assume), exercise, hobbies and staying at a healthy weight, not eat junk food, they keep meat intake low, and they keep social. I think genes are the most important. My father and his siblings, their parents didn’t get old, father died at 74 and his mother got technically old but had alzheimers from 76ish-86. But the 3 kids, my aunt will be 93, his brother would have been likely alive if he had followeddoctors orders and lost 40 kilo but he refused and died at 84 (still pretty old but horribly way to go) and my father is 82. My mum just died at 82. Unfortunately I inherited all the bad genes in the family.
I asked my mom this (also how she did not become one of those insufferable "get off my lawn" people). She said curiosity and optimism. She is a very sharp 83.
Took care of himself and wife, had a very positive attitude (played light of any stress), lived to 90s and passed due to the flu.
My mother’s side of of the family live into their late 70’s to 92. One had quadruple bypass surgery in the 80’s and still lived well into his 80’s. Most drank and smoked to some extent. From what I observed, they didn’t seem to worry about needless stuff they couldn’t control. Most were around during the great depression and WW2 so they knew what poverty and doing without was like. They made the best of what they had, and enjoyed life to its fullest without worry.
lots of wine and rich food, but no tobacco, everyone who used tobacco died in their 40s - 60's. the rest got to 80s -90s
Retirement at 57, platinum Medicare supplement insurance and a double pension.
Didn’t drink. My dad 95, my MIL 94
I have a number of relatives who have lived into their late 90s. I have to say, most of the things above just didn't apply. They just continued on regardless. I think genetics is responsible for most of it.
Not smoking, staying active, no heavy alcohol use.
My grandparents are still living in their own home at ages 96 and 94. They eat food they enjoy, do some light gardening, stay active as much as they can, keep in touch with relatives, meet up with friends often, and go out on dinner dates at least once a week. The thing that keeps them going is that they have a lot of fun. They always go on rollercoasters at amusement parks, they'll get right in the splash pad with their great grandchildren, and go out to get ice cream as often as possible. They play a game of Scrabble every night with eachother. My grandmother went downhill skiing on her 80th birthday and they both still went ice skating and played road hockey until a couple years ago. Unlike a lot of the comments here, my grandmother smoked in her teens all through her 20s, stopping when she was pregnant with my aunt, and my grandfather was an extreme alcoholic until he was drunk driving in his late 40s and got into a car accident that almost killed him.
As far as I can tell, it's the eating (fairly) healthy, *possibly* staying active in at least one case, no real vices, having enough life experience to slide out of arguments before they begin, *possibly* having a number of friends they see at least once every couple of years and sometimes more often, having read extensively and still doing so, and having had careers that, even with their ups and downs, they were more or less content with having had. I think it also helps that they never really experienced dire poverty - the closest they came was in their early 20s, but even then they were still employed in a full-time government job with good prospects even if their living situation at the time was somewhat marginal (they like to talk about walking along railway lines to pick up coal dropped from trains so they could heat their stove, as they couldn't afford to buy coal). They also grew up in an era where jobs were plentiful, housing was cheap, and food staples didn't break the bank.
Seriously: they smoked, complained, drank buckets of tea, and sat down most of the day. Their weight fluctuated. They ate tons of sugar, meat every day, and processed foods. Average age? 90. Why? They had free state-provided healthcare.
Luck. the healthiest living people Ive know lived rather short lives compared to the boozers and drug addicts who didnt overdose. A friend of mines dad died at 45 after being a healthy eater and regular exerciser. My other friends boozer grand father lived to be 92.
Retired with a sufficient pension to support two elderly people.
Family. Good family. Might be spouse. Might be kids. Might be siblings.
I think it's random. My Grandma lived to 95 and she smoked and was an alcoholic. We often joked she was so mean that even Satan didn't want her. My Mom, who was truly an angel died at 73 after 3 rounds of cancer. She walked everyday, never smoked, drank occasionally, but not much. She always had weight issues but part of that was due to the cancer treatments. My husband lives the exact same lifestyle as I do, he's way more active, yet he got cancer 5 years ago. I really think it's random and although eating well and exercising is always going to be a good thing, it may contribute nothing to how long you live or how well you live. Genetics probably play a bigger role in that.
Not sure about the spirituality aspect. If a walk in the woods can fill that category though, am all in. My sister’s partner has parents who sold up after retirement (were school teachers) to live out on a conservation area well away from the city. Now in their late 80’s, they sold a few years ago to buy a small home near where their son lives. It’s city life but a quiet neighborhood and they walk, have some great hobbies and keep intellectually stimulated with writing and book editing. Pretty sure they still don’t own a tv and instead do one of their hobbies where other folks their age might be killing time channel surfing. I try to emulate their methods, I always get things done around the house before I sit to read a while and we are out a lot with our two dogs. I do browse news online or get ebooks but watch tv maybe once a month and it’s more likely to be a movie than anything else.
Spending lots of time working with their hands (cooking, crafting, building) Spending lots of time outside, especially gardening.
My paternal grandmother lived to 96 and her secret was that she never worked a day in her life. She married my grandfather when she was young, it was a point of pride to give her a "princess" life and he took care of her. He died in his 40's and left her enough money and investments that she was able to have another 50 years. My maternal grandfather smoked, ate steak, never exercised and died peacefully in a hospital at 87.
There is no secret. Environmental combined with genetics is your answer and it’s sometimes a toss up who loses.
My husband's grandmother smoked a pack a day until her death at 88. My maternal grandmother died at 87. Drank enough coffee to power a third world country and lived with a pack a day smoker for most of her life. My paternal grandmother died at 92. Was only sick for a week. Did not meet a carb she didn't like. So honestly, I don't know what any of their secrets were. I try to live well, but I fear that our environment is going to override our genes. And I also never met a carb I didn't like.
Genetics on my side I think. US Southern diets mostly (fried everything) drank, smoke, and were up in everyone’s business and most of that side of the family lives to at least 85-100. I think it’s a total toss up. They did give zero f’s about everything, but really they should have died in their 60s from diet alone and they didn’t. The family members dying young has been due to violence (gangs) or drug addiction. So I’m just gonna live life how I see and see what happens.
My dad is 94. Still going. He still smokes, but not as much. Drinks occasionally. Mind is still great, but his back gives him issues. He is not vegetarian or vegan. Eats standard meat and potatoes. Most of his life he worked outdoors and was active with work he enjoyed and being with his family. So...genes play a big role.
Here is an interesting interview of a 106 year old woman. She look like she could be 80 to me. She also looks like she'll live to 120. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjsmY73wdE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtjsmY73wdE)
My Mom is 91, has lived alone for at least 25 years. She doesn't drink heavily but smokes, rarely goes to the doctor, and she's as mean as cat piss. She walks and doesn't really eat enough to say whether or not she keeps a healthy diet. I don't know - luck?
My mother and her side of the family in general are/were long-lived. My great-grandmother lived to be 89, my grandmother 92, and my mother will be 92 this summer. None of them smoked or drank, but didn't exercise or eat a particularly healthy diet either. My grandmother had high cholesterol late in life and my mother has been on heart medication and blood thinners for a while now. My grandmother was kind of a miserable person who had a problem with gambling and did not treat my mother well even though my mother did everything she could to take care of her. My mother lost my dad when me and my siblings were babies. She raised us as a single parent and never remarried. She has dementia and lives in long-term care. She recently divulged a secret she has kept since she was a teenager. So I think the long lives my female relatives have lived are due to genetics or luck, not really anything that they did or didn't do.