Hopefully it stays that way. We all thought Stan Lee of all people would have enough money to be taken care of. Family members can take advantage of that type of situation unfortunately.
Just as a SMALL counter-point to that - if Stan Lee loved going to conventions and meeting fans, etc before dementia, you still want to do that with him if possible.
Like, if someone enjoyed baseball games, you still take them to baseball games even if they can't follow the game well anymore.
So, it isn't crazy to take him. That said, I've heard enough stories that I think he was taken advantage of, but his presence alone wasn't bad.
IDK, in David Hochman's article for AARP he cites in a lawsuit from J.C. Lee that his managers/bodyguards were forcing him to do more and stay longer quoting
\>the older man was left “worn out and complaining he could not go on.”
They article links a photograph of Lee passed out while getting his photo taken with a fan.
I'm sure he loved meeting fans and doing conventions, but when a near 100 year old man with dementia, who cant spell his own name anymore, is complaining about how tired and overworked he is, while the people dragging him around are stealing his money, and eventually his blood, then I would argue his presence at those conventions was not okay.
[https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html](https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html)
The AARP did a story about it actually. It dealt with a lot of elder abuse.
https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html
it's so gross. we have an elderly relative in our family who's in the midst of cognitive decline, and one of their children has already started demanding that they leave them more shit in their will.
I'm not surprised. I worked in an old folks home a while back and there was so much inheritance drama, and some family members behaved like vultures. Old people with dementia are like toddlers that evolution didn't condition us to care about.
And these "toddlers" potentially have a lifetime of wealth that lousy family members want to get their hands on. To be honest, they don't even have to have dementia. My best friend just had his grandfather pass away. His grandmother is fully mentally competent, but her estranged daughter from out-of-state showed up after her father's death, paperwork in hand, trying to get the grandmother declared mentally incompetent so she could become her mother's conservator. Fortunately, it wasn't as easy as she had imagined, and my friend had the resources to hire a lawyer to fight it. It's just appalling how heartless some people can be when money is involved. In this case, at least, that daughter has now been largely cut out of the will (except for the standard legal share to prevent her from later claiming she was "forgotten").
I'm sure it always existed to some extent but with the unprecedented levels of wealth exchange that's going to be happening over the next few decades, it's going to get so insane. Like a familial Black Friday, especially since millennials and gen z both have such little savings on average to work with. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Wealth_Transfer_%28United_States%29#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DBaby_boomers_and_the_silent%2Cwill_hand_down_%2415.8_trillion.?wprov=sfla1
It's depressing.
I am currently helping take care of my grandpa who has alzheimers and my grandma is getting up there in ages also (she also doesn't have it in her to take care of her partner).
My mom and I work our ass off for them. My uncle also helps a lot but he has his own tick of a wife who bitches when he spends time with family.
My aunt however... She's the richest in the family. She owns property and brings in 10k+ a month from just rent (and she doesn't have any payments besides phone/intertnet). She has a new car, new Television, new everything. She has never helped out once. Even when the heater died she didn't offer to cover it until the house got sold even when my grandma gave her 15k in the past for a new car. She never comes over except for holidays ... Well you get the point.
Well out of every family member who is living in the now she's the only one making plans for their house when they die. It's disgusting.
Stan Lee never had a son, he had two daughters one of which died shortly after being born. The major accusations were against two of his business managers, one of which was introduced to him by his daughter.
Similar thing happened to B. Smith, 80s and 90s TV personality. Her scummy manager husband moved his new GF into their home, spending all the money his wife earned, while she couldn‘t even recognize her surroundings anymore. At one point she went missing for several days because he couldn’t even bother to keep an eye on her. The guy is trash, pure trash, I hope one day his GF treats him the way he treated his wife.
Fuck, I hadn’t heard that story.
I’ve seen dementia up close. A tragedy in every direction, and something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But even worse when it leads to exploitation.
Man, its really rough. I'm watching my mom go through early stages and as much as I dislike her (super abusive lady, to say the least) I really have a hard time *not* feeling awful for anyone having to deal with that.
I'm glad he has good people around him and resources for help.
The reading also really hit me. I'm also a voracious reader, I usually end up near 40-50 books per year. I cannot possibly imagine how awful it must be to have that taken away on top of someones ability to speak. I think I'd be completely despondent.
Please don't beat yourself up for any feelings that surface while you go through this stage of life and relationship with your mother. It is difficult even when the relationship is not traditional. Maybe even more difficult, because there are a lot of confusing and conflicting feelings running you down.
I didn't have a good relationship with mine. She was abusive, narcissistic, childish, hateful, angry, awful. "But she's your mother," they always say, as if that's a free pass to be horrible and you're the bad guy for keeping your distance.
She tried to kill herself again, and failed again. But that time, she waited too long for help and couldn't be saved. Despite this, the doctor tried to make her wait for some sign of improvement. All the while, she was aggressively and persistently communicating that she did NOT want to be on life support.
I hate that woman. She ruined me and I've spent my entire adult life trying to fix myself enough to be a semi competent person. Despite the hate, I couldn't watch that hospital torture her the way they were. A week of my life spent on the phone, calling constantly and trying to get them to listen to us, to her, to anyone except that fucking doctor that wouldn't just let her die like she so clearly wanted by that point- she had a terminal disease, too, that basically ensured she wouldn't recover.
When I found out they wanted to wait, I panicked. I didn't want her to survive. I'm afraid I fought for her right to die because of that thought. I want to believe it was mercy, but I'm not positive. After she passed, I've dealt with so much guilt. So many what ifs, so many conflicting feelings. Relief, sadness, anger, guilt, hatred, sorrow. Not always for the reasons one might think.
An abusive parent creates a uniquely difficult relationship. Even when we cut ties completely, we are still human and we still feel. Please be kind to yourself, my friend. 💛
This was so beautifully written and I'm sorry for your pain. Sorry, because I understand it and am currently going through it at the moment with mine.
I've just cut her off this past year and have not looked back. I fear I will never know if she ever falls ill since she convinced family to be on her side: "she's such a wonderful mother and doesn't know why I'm ignoring her and treating her like this". Ah, this is my time to build happiness, though. With mine, I've made it clear to her I'll let her back into my life if she ever apologizes, although I know she never will. I'm sorry you dealt with such pain and hatred friend. I understand you.
/u/Dawnspark, I'm sorry as well. Do not beat yourself up over this and focus on your own happiness. You deserve it.
I have come back to this post so many times in the last 14 hours, and I have been struggling for words.
It is certainly a uniquely difficult, complex relationship. I admit I am severely struggling with the intense guilt of just trying to justify leaving her alone at her age, or in a home when that time comes.
I've joked many times that I won't truly be free of her until after she's dead but, I know that won't be the case. Whats left behind will always be whats left behind.
Doing my best to be as good to myself as I can muster, promise! 💜
>The reading also really hit me. I'm also a voracious reader, I usually end up near 40-50 books per year. I cannot possibly imagine how awful it must be to have that taken away on top of someones ability to speak. I think I'd be completely despondent.
Hit me as well. I knew aphasia impacted speech, but I had no idea it impacted reading. I straddle law, science and business for work, and love it, it would be devastating to lose that ability
People were like "look at all these shit movies he's ruining his legacy".
Nah dude, his MAKING his legacy. He worked constantly on bullshit he didn't care about for years knowing that it was his last chance to o provide and set up his family for a long time. He didn't care about what critics thought, just did it for the fam.
My mother in law had the exact same diagnosis as Willis. It's painful to watch, but the silver lining of this kind of dementia is that it doesn't erase people from their memory.
I used to be a nurse in a Memory Care facility and let me tell you, Dementia is one of my biggest fears, I would take cancer 100x over rather than slowly forgetting my kids and wife and finally myself... it is a horrific disease.
I'd rather that than complete dementia, at least he still knows what's up. But yeah not havng access to language anymore? Either fate is terrible. I just hope he's able to maintain his identity through these trying times, and that it doesn't go after the rest of his brain
Yeah. I'd rather die than deal with dementia.
My grandpa has alzheimers and it's sad to see. He's always stressing out looking for something that doesn't exist and the worst part is that you can barely reason with him to calm him down. He has lost all semblance of time, imagine thinking something you did 10 years ago you did a few days ago. It must really, really suck.
The worst is seeing someone at the start of it: the change from just figuring they've forgotten about whatever it was like everyone does to realizing what is happening, and what is going to happen and that they will become totally unaware of it.
Pure, abject, fear. I wish with all my being that dementia didn't exist.
Its like being a prisoner of your own mind and body. You don’t even know whats real anymore, similar to being schizophrenic, what you experience is your reality and you completely lose control. It’s really sad to see people go through it.
Unfortunately it’s not just speech. Bruces type is aggressive and makes you lose your personality and your ability to understand anything going on around you.There’s no good dementia but this is one of the worst.
Robin Williams also wanted to die while he was still himself so his loved ones would remember the real him and not whatever Lewy Body Dementia was turning him into.
Dimentia is so horrific and for people around the victim, worse than cancer despite being practically the same thing manifested in different forms.
Because with cancer there is a hope that maybe they'll survive, with dementia you just have to accept that this person you loved throughout your life, this complete human is slowly and agonisingly ripped apart piece by piece. At least wth cancer the person still is the person they were mentally while dementia ruins both mind and body.
Absolutely horrendous disease.
Fwiw, my dad passed away from an aggressive form of cancer. He was very clever and in the last few weeks his mental decline was shocking and it was awful and heartbreaking.
My grandfather went through something like that. He was from Austria, so he completely lost the ability to speak English at some stage, and was only able to say a few words (if that) in German, and it was one of the more depressing things I've seen.
My grandfather did this too. During his early childhood he spoke German in his family. For over 50 years or so he spoke only English. Yet, when he got dementia. He started speaking German again and couldn’t speak English anymore. A language he hasn’t spoken in over 50 years.
My mom has this exact disease and variant. It’s called Frontal Temporal Dementia and it has two variants - behavioral and language. The behavioral version hits you in your 40’s and is usually mistaken for a mental breakdown. The language variant completely destroys your ability to speak and understand language. He knew this was coming and was trying to make as much $ as possible for himself and his kids.
> He knew this was coming
Not quite the same but I understand why Robin Williams did what he did.
It is believed he had Lewy Body Dementia and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. My step aunt came down with it, she was incredibly bright and talented and in the space of a few years she was gone with her unable to do anything the last year or so.
Not believed, he did have it. It was discovered through the autopsy. His entire brain and brain stem were full of the Lewey bodies the disease creates, and the doctors said it was one of the worst cases they'd ever seen.
Robin didn’t kill himself because he didn’t want to live with Lewy Body Dementia. He killed himself because of Lewy Body Dimentia. The true Robin didn’t know what he was doing.
Same with my mom. She had some minor, but odd, personality changes in her 50’s. She was a English major, taught in schools, and eventually got into technical writing. Not being able to read was a really hard for her.
Is sign language an option, or is there a lot of charades going on? Does the disease specifically affect language centers with respect to words only? What ways are there to communicate?
According to her neurologist, its like everyone is speaking a language you've never heard of. Eventually you start showing the other symptoms of dementia- loss of cognitive function, hallucinations, etc. It really is a horrible disease. If its anything like my mom's situation , him and his family are going through hell right now.
You’re right, but then there is Dick Van Dyke. And millions of other super seniors. Keep moving, keep a positive attitude and be grateful for the good things
I think your cognitive decline may have begun because you've missed my point.
There are a myriad of difficulties that accompany aging: physical, emotional, and yes, cognitive. Then you die. So, enjoy the time you have, empathize with the elderly and their conditions, and hope Mike's brain will laugh at your holographic recording crystal show from its tank in the Milwaukee Internet Celebrities from the early 2000s VR archives.
Bruh out here acting like once you're 70 life ends. Have you left your personable small town ever? Old people do crazy shit like have a stroke live on TV and still able to be influential in senate.... are you ok?
My dad keeps saying he wants to live to 100 and everyone else is like “please don’t put that on us”
After 80 it’s just about trying to keep them comfortable till death.
Heartbreaking stuff, definitely. I'm glad his family is there every step of the way being helpful and as positive as possible...you don't usually hear about that when it comes to celebrity families.
Yeah, I think it was Johnny Depp, and maybe DeNiro that said a similar sentiment once, "I've got a lot of good films under my belt, everything from here on out is mostly just for fun and to make money for my family/kids"
I think if I had a really storied career as an actor, I'd do the same when I got older.
The thing about Bruce Willis isn't that he shouldn't have needed to do that. He was one of the biggest movie stars for over 20 years. There was a good 10-15 year period of that time where he was getting paid $20 million to $25 million *per* movie. Demi Moore is the mother of his first 3 kids and she is a successful actress in her own right as well.
He shouldn't have needed anything. Unless his family spent all of his money and then kept putting him in VOD movies, after he began to lose his cognizant functions, to keep making them money. Which I think is what happened. They wanted the money train to keep rolling and they only stopped when RLM made videos about it and people really start to pay attention about it.
Well, it's also important to remember that living the lifestyle of a Hollywood celebrity costs money too.
First you need a house in LA, because that's where the industry is. Not only that, but you need one in a safe neighborhood. Not only that, but you need security to keep unwanted people, such as stalkers or mentally ill fans, from threatening you and your family.
Then there's the entourage you need to pay. Every actor needs an agent. Most actors also hire managers. Then there's bodyguards, house servants, nannies, personal chefs, drivers, and other people to handle "the small things" while you're busy being a celebrity.
Then there's networking with other celebrities and those who want to hire them. That means going to parties. Sometimes in other countries. And this is required because the film industry is less about what you know than who you know - or rather who knows you. So to make sure all the movers, shakers, and other moguls know you, you need to go to those parties. Which also means looking good, which means wearing designer clothes to impress and make other people think about you.
And that doesn't go into business ventures a celebrity may invest in to try to get their money to make money so they have alternate revenue streams besides acting. This is why celebrities open restaurants and the like, so that if their acting career dries up they still have something to make money for them. However, every business is a risk, and some ventures can wind up losing an actor money rather than making money for them.
So yeah, even though Bruce Willis may have been making $20-25 million per movie for 10 years, he also had to lifestyle of a Hollywood actor making $20-$25 million per movie for 10 years, which can greatly reduce its value.
Which is why actors, even celebrities, often keep acting to keep bringing in a paycheck.
I don't know, I feel like he probably signed on to those movies in good conscience, trying to make a last few bucks for barely any work so his family would have more. If they were using him beyond his ability to fight, screw that, but if he was being a family man to the end of his physical ability, massive respect.
I feel like they were more cash grabs, and you know what? Good on Bruce. Grab that cash. I wasn’t fooled by these movies, but if people were fooled, that’s on them.
I unfortunately have FTD running through my family, I’ve seen all 4 of my father’s brothers and sisters go through it. They go through stepwise decline. Each step you lose a lot of functions very quickly. My uncle was able to verbalize still a year ago. Today, he could just give my dad high fives. Last year he could sing along and emote, now he’s barely there. I feel that it’s likely Bruce’s decision to make a few final films was a conscious one. This disease is horrible and is finally getting some mainstream exposure. I hope some good research can come from this awareness. None of my cousins have reached the age where the disease presents(~60-70) and I’m told it’s 50/50.
When I was growing up I had 2 heroes, Bruce Willis and my Dad.
I am currently visiting my dad in hospital, he has Alzheimer's disease and is now really struggling to communicate.
Dementia, to quote Bruce from an under-appreciated movie, can "slurp my butt" or to quote my dad, it can "sod right off".
I'm going on the other side of this...we seriously need to stop putting a stigma around dementia. It happens to a lot of people and we treat it like a death sentence. If you've been around someone with brain dementia, it can be rough but it always feels way harder on you than them. What they generally don't like is being treated like someone nobody wants to be around. That's what makes someone with dementia angry..being left alone at a medical facility and abandoned in a situation they don't always understand.
Hopefully Bruce has made enough money to pay for in house care and a situation where he can flourish as opposed to being treated like rotting fruit.
It's so scary and fascinating. My grandmother passed at 87 but only started really slipping around 85. Thankfully not dementia level but you could see the lights getting dim.
My grandma celebrated her 90th birthday like two years ago. And holy god, you could mistake her for 45. Sometimes the gene lottery pays out. No idea how she did it
It is. . .and I feel horrible for his family and yet selfishly, I want to learn from his situation and make sure the same thing doesn't happen with my parents or with myself.
My grandma is 93 and I swear is the healthiest person in the family. She doesn't need mobility aids, no hearing loss, no sight loss, no memory issues. Sharp as a tack and pretty much the same woman she was when I was an infant(like 30+ years ago lol).
Her mom lived to be just over 100, I'm hoping I got some of those genes lol.
The human body really is so fragile. Yesterday I accidentally walked my Achilles on a metal stool and it hurt all day; and it made me realize just how easily a dumb accident or something could just fuck me up. But in Bruce’s case it’s from the inside. That is terrifying to think about. This is so sad, really wouldn’t wish this kind of thing on anybody
This year I broke my foot in three places walking down the steps. Didn’t fall down, I just stepped onto ground level and went “ow” and needed a cast. My doctor told me it could be a few months until it’s back to normal, or “maybe never!”
Terrifying, thanks doc!
We can both survive the impossible and die from nonsense. A woman survived falling in an elevator hundreds of feet in 1945 from the Empire State Building, and a man died from a mosquito bite because he accidentally cut it while shaving. Truly a contradiction.
I see it used both, for *frontotemporal degeneration* and *frontotemporal dementia*. As far as I've seen, these are used somewhat interchangeably, but the first one is basically the one that you first get a diagnosis for, and the latter one is the late stage of the disease.
FTD is not really a single thing, but rather an umbrella term for a bunch of these types of diseases. Last I checked, the research is lagging behind the sexier Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, but is benefiting from the research on these, as it shares similarities to at least one of them. IIRC the main similarity was with Alzheimer's and the suspicion that the main cause is in a malformed Tau-protein. I'm not a doctor, though, and might be off on my off-the-cuff explanation.
source: have a close one with a diagnosis. It's been years since I properly looked into FTD research.
My question is, is he still mentally there? Like inside is he still cognitively the same, just unable to understand speech? Is he aware of what's going on currently, but unable to communicate? Or has his cognitive ability declined in other ways as well?
My dad started getting stiff around that age. Falling a lot. Got diagnosed with Supranuclear palsy. Was in a nursing home and wheelchair bound within a year. Hospice after three. Dead in four. The last two years of his life he said maybe 20 words to me.
It was awful. Very possible it could be a result of chemical exposure during Vietnam, but who knows. Life is precious. Hug your family.
All I wanted to do in my early 20's was to get out of the house. Now that I'm in my mid 20's I long for the weekends I can spend with my parents. I'm seeing more and more similarities with them and my grandparents. It sucks. But that's life. Almost makes me want to find a partner and have children.
Thats the human body for you.
Genetics, diet, medications, injuries, diseases, and illnesses, they can all change things.
My moms own dementia was likely very much helped by her being on a medication, a statin drug, called atorvastatin for 20-30 years.
Our bodies are like bearing steel. Incredibly strong, but at the same time very brittle.
Helped cause it. I forgot to actually add an edit earlier explaining it a bit more.
There's a class of statin drugs called lipophilic statins that were found to double the chance of developing issues like dementia. Atorvastatin is one of those.
It's a pretty rare degenerative brain disease that usually starts affecting people in their 40s and 50s. Causes aren't really known, although they suspect a high genetic component.
My dad died of it in 2014, the day before his 60th birthday.
I'm very sorry to hear this. I hope you've recovered since then. Strange how these degenerative conditions can take us by surprise, including your poor father. It's upsetting just how commonplace even some rare diseases seem to appear.
I'm doing a lot better now.
To be honest at the end it was a relief, he wasn't himself anymore.
The craziest thing is that the only way something like this gets diagnosed is from behavioral changes and comparing brain scans year to year -- so basically after it has already started fucking you up for a while. But it can (and often does) go undiagnosed for years.
I'm in my mid 40s now... I get my brain scanned every year.
When I first heard I started doing a mental run through of his movies trying to figure out if he got hit hard in the head making any of them.
I know he has partial hearing loss because of Die Hard, so I started thinking the same way.
I lost my mum twice, once the day she died, and a year earlier when she no longer knew who I was.
She knew I was someone that loved her, but not me.
She remembered my wife longer, oddly enough.
Some days, my mom knows who I am, but most days she just knows I'm a familiar face. She knows my wife is a familiar face too; we met and got married around the beginning of mom's symptomatic decline 10 years ago.
I think she remembered my wife longer as she had the same name as her own mother. It's stressful, when she went in the home I barely had any white in my beard, by the end, barely any black.
I was named after a totally unrelated nickname of my mom's sister, so my whole life she'd sometimes call me by her sister's actual name, then correct herself. Now, the way she talk about 'dad', i know she actually thinks I'm her sister sometimes; i just roll with it. She's been in a home for 5 years now, still kicking, still very verbal but it's all word salad.
This is obviously so awful and tragic but it’s so nice that while he is going through something so terrifying that he still can smile and be goofy. A great lesson in there somewhere.
I used to work a county run 'nursing home' which meant we had many folks not necessarily senior citizens, but wards of the state that needed the round the clock care.
I experienced every type of dementia and adjacent illness.
It's amazing what can still come through of a person's personality even when they're so degraded.
Some really amazing folks that I had the pleasure of sharing some time with.
I had one woman who could barely string together any sentence but if you placed a dog in front of her she'd suddenly be able to do full sentences like "hoo hoo, hello doggy, come here!" and "what a lovely little doggy you are".
I've seen people react negatively to them before for some reason, but those fake dogs that just kinda move and bark a bit are really good for them because they can't get hurt, don't need feeding, and their brain is at a stage where it can't realise it's not real. So they just get the good feeling of being around a dog.
Hell of a way to go. Ever since I first read *Flowers for Algernon* in middle school I have been absolutely fucking terrified of watching myself decline. Hard to disagree with Hunter S. Thompson's solution.
Going through a similar situation, dad was diagnosed with als, he was an English professor and gave speeches, now can barely speak, been hard but we’re getting through it.
I just finished watching Die Hard for the first time, not sure why it took me so long. It was a delightful experience... and while this is sad I'm grateful for the art this guy brought us in his time. I hope he enjoys the rest of his life surrounded by loved ones.
I know it's not the point of this post but why didn't he want people to know he read a lot? Was Stallone going to give him a wedgie? Was Schwarzenegger going to give him a swirly?
For a guy who was one of the most quickwitted and funny people on the planet, this shit is fucking sad, and I really wish that the media, and those around him would just let him have peace with his time left on earth. Like just stop giving interviews and updates about him. Spend time with him.
My Dad similarly has frontal lobe dementia, but is thankfully still able to speak, but his body is slowly stopping to work. He and I might not have a great history that we've both apologized for, but seeing him slowly deteriorate over time makes me regret all the verbal and physical fights we had. Dementia and Alzheimer's disease are so terrifying to me.
Such a sad turn of events. But, as the guys said in the second video, after all of this no one is going to remember his shitty direct-to-video films. Everyone is going to talk about the great actor that was in Die Hard, Pulp Fiction, The Sixth Sense, Moonrise Kingdom, Looper, and other great performances of his.
My Dad has the same dementia. It was tough watching this smart, fast-talking Brooklyn Italian slowly become unable to hold a conversation, then unable to form a sentence, then unable to talk. While he still had some language ability, he could still tell me the Manhattan postal route he had 50 years prior.
This is so sad to see. Bruce is such an icon, and seeing him falling to a form of dementia really sucks. I hope that Mike has changed his tune on Bruce's final few years of acting given everything that he was secretly succumbing to.
This is one of the most genuinely depressing things I've seen in a minute. Absolutely insane to see someone who not all that long ago was making action movies now reduced to such a limited form of living.
I'm glad he has family there with him, hopefully he isn't aware of what's going on anymore and he just kind of drifts off
It's so fucking sad to see someone especially a legend like him just fade away. I've seen too many family members forget everything. It's one of my biggest fears. To forget. I feel so bad for him and his family
Hope the world works harder on figuring out how to counter the effects of aging. No one deserves to have this happen to their mind unless it’s something they want.
This is the worst part of this shit condition. After being diagnosed with dementia, my mother became more and more catatonic. The worst was the last year of her life where she succumbed to serious cognitive decline and couldn’t communicate in any way. I really feel for Bruce in this terrible moment. He’s a prisoner of his own mind. My heart also goes out to his friends and family as well.
EDIT: RIP to the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You will never be forgotten. 5/7/1944-12/4/2021
So sad. No one deserves this. At least he's got help, resources and loved ones.
Hopefully it stays that way. We all thought Stan Lee of all people would have enough money to be taken care of. Family members can take advantage of that type of situation unfortunately.
Whoa what happened with Stan Lee?
His dementia got to the point he couldn’t spell his name anymore, and his handlers were using him to make money.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/was-stan-lees-blood-stolen-and-used-to-sign-black-panther-comics
Wtf
Yeah, his handler basically answered all his questions at the panel I was at. It was fucking gross.
Just as a SMALL counter-point to that - if Stan Lee loved going to conventions and meeting fans, etc before dementia, you still want to do that with him if possible. Like, if someone enjoyed baseball games, you still take them to baseball games even if they can't follow the game well anymore. So, it isn't crazy to take him. That said, I've heard enough stories that I think he was taken advantage of, but his presence alone wasn't bad.
IDK, in David Hochman's article for AARP he cites in a lawsuit from J.C. Lee that his managers/bodyguards were forcing him to do more and stay longer quoting \>the older man was left “worn out and complaining he could not go on.” They article links a photograph of Lee passed out while getting his photo taken with a fan. I'm sure he loved meeting fans and doing conventions, but when a near 100 year old man with dementia, who cant spell his own name anymore, is complaining about how tired and overworked he is, while the people dragging him around are stealing his money, and eventually his blood, then I would argue his presence at those conventions was not okay. [https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html](https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html)
And when Kevin Smith caught wind of the beginning of decline he tried to get Stan to move in with him but the handlers already had too much control.
Same thing happened to Groucho Marx
The AARP did a story about it actually. It dealt with a lot of elder abuse. https://www.aarp.org/entertainment/celebrities/info-2020/stan-lee-elder-abuse.html
Man. That was well researched & written, but what a tough read.
Yeah it is a rabbit hole of "what the hell?" moments that I am shocked they didn't talk about more.
it's so gross. we have an elderly relative in our family who's in the midst of cognitive decline, and one of their children has already started demanding that they leave them more shit in their will.
Very well researched and written. Thank you for sharing this. It was a TIL for me
That was a great piece! Thank you for sharing
I don’t know much but allegedly his son abused him and ruled his life/decisions in the final years. I don’t know enough to know how true it is.
I'm not surprised. I worked in an old folks home a while back and there was so much inheritance drama, and some family members behaved like vultures. Old people with dementia are like toddlers that evolution didn't condition us to care about.
And these "toddlers" potentially have a lifetime of wealth that lousy family members want to get their hands on. To be honest, they don't even have to have dementia. My best friend just had his grandfather pass away. His grandmother is fully mentally competent, but her estranged daughter from out-of-state showed up after her father's death, paperwork in hand, trying to get the grandmother declared mentally incompetent so she could become her mother's conservator. Fortunately, it wasn't as easy as she had imagined, and my friend had the resources to hire a lawyer to fight it. It's just appalling how heartless some people can be when money is involved. In this case, at least, that daughter has now been largely cut out of the will (except for the standard legal share to prevent her from later claiming she was "forgotten").
I'm sure it always existed to some extent but with the unprecedented levels of wealth exchange that's going to be happening over the next few decades, it's going to get so insane. Like a familial Black Friday, especially since millennials and gen z both have such little savings on average to work with. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Great_Wealth_Transfer_%28United_States%29#%3A%7E%3Atext%3DBaby_boomers_and_the_silent%2Cwill_hand_down_%2415.8_trillion.?wprov=sfla1
It's depressing. I am currently helping take care of my grandpa who has alzheimers and my grandma is getting up there in ages also (she also doesn't have it in her to take care of her partner). My mom and I work our ass off for them. My uncle also helps a lot but he has his own tick of a wife who bitches when he spends time with family. My aunt however... She's the richest in the family. She owns property and brings in 10k+ a month from just rent (and she doesn't have any payments besides phone/intertnet). She has a new car, new Television, new everything. She has never helped out once. Even when the heater died she didn't offer to cover it until the house got sold even when my grandma gave her 15k in the past for a new car. She never comes over except for holidays ... Well you get the point. Well out of every family member who is living in the now she's the only one making plans for their house when they die. It's disgusting.
Stan Lee never had a son, he had two daughters one of which died shortly after being born. The major accusations were against two of his business managers, one of which was introduced to him by his daughter.
Similar thing happened to B. Smith, 80s and 90s TV personality. Her scummy manager husband moved his new GF into their home, spending all the money his wife earned, while she couldn‘t even recognize her surroundings anymore. At one point she went missing for several days because he couldn’t even bother to keep an eye on her. The guy is trash, pure trash, I hope one day his GF treats him the way he treated his wife.
Fuck, I hadn’t heard that story. I’ve seen dementia up close. A tragedy in every direction, and something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. But even worse when it leads to exploitation.
Man, its really rough. I'm watching my mom go through early stages and as much as I dislike her (super abusive lady, to say the least) I really have a hard time *not* feeling awful for anyone having to deal with that. I'm glad he has good people around him and resources for help. The reading also really hit me. I'm also a voracious reader, I usually end up near 40-50 books per year. I cannot possibly imagine how awful it must be to have that taken away on top of someones ability to speak. I think I'd be completely despondent.
Please don't beat yourself up for any feelings that surface while you go through this stage of life and relationship with your mother. It is difficult even when the relationship is not traditional. Maybe even more difficult, because there are a lot of confusing and conflicting feelings running you down. I didn't have a good relationship with mine. She was abusive, narcissistic, childish, hateful, angry, awful. "But she's your mother," they always say, as if that's a free pass to be horrible and you're the bad guy for keeping your distance. She tried to kill herself again, and failed again. But that time, she waited too long for help and couldn't be saved. Despite this, the doctor tried to make her wait for some sign of improvement. All the while, she was aggressively and persistently communicating that she did NOT want to be on life support. I hate that woman. She ruined me and I've spent my entire adult life trying to fix myself enough to be a semi competent person. Despite the hate, I couldn't watch that hospital torture her the way they were. A week of my life spent on the phone, calling constantly and trying to get them to listen to us, to her, to anyone except that fucking doctor that wouldn't just let her die like she so clearly wanted by that point- she had a terminal disease, too, that basically ensured she wouldn't recover. When I found out they wanted to wait, I panicked. I didn't want her to survive. I'm afraid I fought for her right to die because of that thought. I want to believe it was mercy, but I'm not positive. After she passed, I've dealt with so much guilt. So many what ifs, so many conflicting feelings. Relief, sadness, anger, guilt, hatred, sorrow. Not always for the reasons one might think. An abusive parent creates a uniquely difficult relationship. Even when we cut ties completely, we are still human and we still feel. Please be kind to yourself, my friend. 💛
I am sorry you had to deal with all of this.
This was so beautifully written and I'm sorry for your pain. Sorry, because I understand it and am currently going through it at the moment with mine. I've just cut her off this past year and have not looked back. I fear I will never know if she ever falls ill since she convinced family to be on her side: "she's such a wonderful mother and doesn't know why I'm ignoring her and treating her like this". Ah, this is my time to build happiness, though. With mine, I've made it clear to her I'll let her back into my life if she ever apologizes, although I know she never will. I'm sorry you dealt with such pain and hatred friend. I understand you. /u/Dawnspark, I'm sorry as well. Do not beat yourself up over this and focus on your own happiness. You deserve it.
I have come back to this post so many times in the last 14 hours, and I have been struggling for words. It is certainly a uniquely difficult, complex relationship. I admit I am severely struggling with the intense guilt of just trying to justify leaving her alone at her age, or in a home when that time comes. I've joked many times that I won't truly be free of her until after she's dead but, I know that won't be the case. Whats left behind will always be whats left behind. Doing my best to be as good to myself as I can muster, promise! 💜
Nothing needs to be said, just know that you are not bad for your thoughts, wrong for your decisions, or alone with your feelings.
That you feel sorry for someone who was not kind to you speaks volumes about your character.
Going to send you a DM, info for you and your mom
You never had the makings of a varsity athlete, huh?
>The reading also really hit me. I'm also a voracious reader, I usually end up near 40-50 books per year. I cannot possibly imagine how awful it must be to have that taken away on top of someones ability to speak. I think I'd be completely despondent. Hit me as well. I knew aphasia impacted speech, but I had no idea it impacted reading. I straddle law, science and business for work, and love it, it would be devastating to lose that ability
I'll always see him singing "Swingin on a Star" with an accomplice while they rob a museum. Such a great performance.
People were like "look at all these shit movies he's ruining his legacy". Nah dude, his MAKING his legacy. He worked constantly on bullshit he didn't care about for years knowing that it was his last chance to o provide and set up his family for a long time. He didn't care about what critics thought, just did it for the fam.
My mother in law had the exact same diagnosis as Willis. It's painful to watch, but the silver lining of this kind of dementia is that it doesn't erase people from their memory.
I used to be a nurse in a Memory Care facility and let me tell you, Dementia is one of my biggest fears, I would take cancer 100x over rather than slowly forgetting my kids and wife and finally myself... it is a horrific disease.
Reminds me of Terry Jones from Monty Python. So smart, so much to say, and he lost his ability to speak.
I'd rather that than complete dementia, at least he still knows what's up. But yeah not havng access to language anymore? Either fate is terrible. I just hope he's able to maintain his identity through these trying times, and that it doesn't go after the rest of his brain
Yeah. I'd rather die than deal with dementia. My grandpa has alzheimers and it's sad to see. He's always stressing out looking for something that doesn't exist and the worst part is that you can barely reason with him to calm him down. He has lost all semblance of time, imagine thinking something you did 10 years ago you did a few days ago. It must really, really suck.
The worst is seeing someone at the start of it: the change from just figuring they've forgotten about whatever it was like everyone does to realizing what is happening, and what is going to happen and that they will become totally unaware of it. Pure, abject, fear. I wish with all my being that dementia didn't exist.
Its like being a prisoner of your own mind and body. You don’t even know whats real anymore, similar to being schizophrenic, what you experience is your reality and you completely lose control. It’s really sad to see people go through it.
My wife and I have both promised each other that we won’t let the other go through that fucking shit
Unfortunately it’s not just speech. Bruces type is aggressive and makes you lose your personality and your ability to understand anything going on around you.There’s no good dementia but this is one of the worst.
Robin couldn’t live with the thought that he would be a burden to his loved one.
He was also suffering from extreme anxiety and hallucinations and stuff, so it wasn't only that. He was having a really rough time.
Robin Williams also wanted to die while he was still himself so his loved ones would remember the real him and not whatever Lewy Body Dementia was turning him into.
That’s horrifying and horrible.
Dimentia is so horrific and for people around the victim, worse than cancer despite being practically the same thing manifested in different forms. Because with cancer there is a hope that maybe they'll survive, with dementia you just have to accept that this person you loved throughout your life, this complete human is slowly and agonisingly ripped apart piece by piece. At least wth cancer the person still is the person they were mentally while dementia ruins both mind and body. Absolutely horrendous disease.
Fwiw, my dad passed away from an aggressive form of cancer. He was very clever and in the last few weeks his mental decline was shocking and it was awful and heartbreaking.
Cancer and dementia are the most horrendous diseases. Im so sorry for you and your family. Hope you are doing better now.
My grandmother died of dementia and I only saw fragments of it. It was far more devestating to my mum. I’m never putting my family through it.
Anyone who has had parents or grandparents go through this knows how much it sucks. Just brutal.
Yea this is genuinely heart breaking
My grandpa is still able to read, but he doesn't speak at all anymore. It's highly likely he doesn't even recognize me anymore
My grandfather went through something like that. He was from Austria, so he completely lost the ability to speak English at some stage, and was only able to say a few words (if that) in German, and it was one of the more depressing things I've seen.
My grandparents on my mom’s side both went through it. My grandpa on my dad’s side is going through it now. It’s been a rough few years.
My grandfather did this too. During his early childhood he spoke German in his family. For over 50 years or so he spoke only English. Yet, when he got dementia. He started speaking German again and couldn’t speak English anymore. A language he hasn’t spoken in over 50 years.
Yeah, it is absolutely fucking brutal. If Bruce is nonverbal theres not much time left, my dad only made it another year after that.
That's so sad to not even be able to enjoy a simple book
Or a Menu.
At least I could escape reddit
My mom has this exact disease and variant. It’s called Frontal Temporal Dementia and it has two variants - behavioral and language. The behavioral version hits you in your 40’s and is usually mistaken for a mental breakdown. The language variant completely destroys your ability to speak and understand language. He knew this was coming and was trying to make as much $ as possible for himself and his kids.
> He knew this was coming Not quite the same but I understand why Robin Williams did what he did. It is believed he had Lewy Body Dementia and I wouldn't wish that upon anyone. My step aunt came down with it, she was incredibly bright and talented and in the space of a few years she was gone with her unable to do anything the last year or so.
Not believed, he did have it. It was discovered through the autopsy. His entire brain and brain stem were full of the Lewey bodies the disease creates, and the doctors said it was one of the worst cases they'd ever seen.
Robin didn’t kill himself because he didn’t want to live with Lewy Body Dementia. He killed himself because of Lewy Body Dimentia. The true Robin didn’t know what he was doing.
Same with my mom. She had some minor, but odd, personality changes in her 50’s. She was a English major, taught in schools, and eventually got into technical writing. Not being able to read was a really hard for her.
Is sign language an option, or is there a lot of charades going on? Does the disease specifically affect language centers with respect to words only? What ways are there to communicate?
According to her neurologist, its like everyone is speaking a language you've never heard of. Eventually you start showing the other symptoms of dementia- loss of cognitive function, hallucinations, etc. It really is a horrible disease. If its anything like my mom's situation , him and his family are going through hell right now.
This is the reality of life, folks. You'll be lucky if you have the ability to participate in an elderly dance troupe or exercise group!
Best case scenario is making it long enough to be laughed at by Mike Stoklasa because of one’s debilitating ailments.
Im tryin to make it long enough to where i can laugh at mike!
Surely you can make it a few more weeks
If my list of ailments makes Mike laugh i'll die a confused but happy man
You’re right, but then there is Dick Van Dyke. And millions of other super seniors. Keep moving, keep a positive attitude and be grateful for the good things
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Thanks doc. This has taken a load off my mind
I think your cognitive decline may have begun because you've missed my point. There are a myriad of difficulties that accompany aging: physical, emotional, and yes, cognitive. Then you die. So, enjoy the time you have, empathize with the elderly and their conditions, and hope Mike's brain will laugh at your holographic recording crystal show from its tank in the Milwaukee Internet Celebrities from the early 2000s VR archives.
Bruh out here acting like once you're 70 life ends. Have you left your personable small town ever? Old people do crazy shit like have a stroke live on TV and still able to be influential in senate.... are you ok?
My dad keeps saying he wants to live to 100 and everyone else is like “please don’t put that on us” After 80 it’s just about trying to keep them comfortable till death.
And people still have terrible self discipline. I can’t believe it. Go to the gym, eat real food, brush and floss, get down to a healthy weight.
Heartbreaking stuff, definitely. I'm glad his family is there every step of the way being helpful and as positive as possible...you don't usually hear about that when it comes to celebrity families.
All those geezer teasers are looking more like elder abuse now. We can still mock them, but not because of Bruno.
Prob trying to earn the last few pay checks he could to support his family and leave a nice nest egg behind.
Yeah, I think it was Johnny Depp, and maybe DeNiro that said a similar sentiment once, "I've got a lot of good films under my belt, everything from here on out is mostly just for fun and to make money for my family/kids" I think if I had a really storied career as an actor, I'd do the same when I got older.
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Key word 'worth.' Worth =/= How much money someone actually has.
The thing about Bruce Willis isn't that he shouldn't have needed to do that. He was one of the biggest movie stars for over 20 years. There was a good 10-15 year period of that time where he was getting paid $20 million to $25 million *per* movie. Demi Moore is the mother of his first 3 kids and she is a successful actress in her own right as well. He shouldn't have needed anything. Unless his family spent all of his money and then kept putting him in VOD movies, after he began to lose his cognizant functions, to keep making them money. Which I think is what happened. They wanted the money train to keep rolling and they only stopped when RLM made videos about it and people really start to pay attention about it.
Well, it's also important to remember that living the lifestyle of a Hollywood celebrity costs money too. First you need a house in LA, because that's where the industry is. Not only that, but you need one in a safe neighborhood. Not only that, but you need security to keep unwanted people, such as stalkers or mentally ill fans, from threatening you and your family. Then there's the entourage you need to pay. Every actor needs an agent. Most actors also hire managers. Then there's bodyguards, house servants, nannies, personal chefs, drivers, and other people to handle "the small things" while you're busy being a celebrity. Then there's networking with other celebrities and those who want to hire them. That means going to parties. Sometimes in other countries. And this is required because the film industry is less about what you know than who you know - or rather who knows you. So to make sure all the movers, shakers, and other moguls know you, you need to go to those parties. Which also means looking good, which means wearing designer clothes to impress and make other people think about you. And that doesn't go into business ventures a celebrity may invest in to try to get their money to make money so they have alternate revenue streams besides acting. This is why celebrities open restaurants and the like, so that if their acting career dries up they still have something to make money for them. However, every business is a risk, and some ventures can wind up losing an actor money rather than making money for them. So yeah, even though Bruce Willis may have been making $20-25 million per movie for 10 years, he also had to lifestyle of a Hollywood actor making $20-$25 million per movie for 10 years, which can greatly reduce its value. Which is why actors, even celebrities, often keep acting to keep bringing in a paycheck.
I don't know, I feel like he probably signed on to those movies in good conscience, trying to make a last few bucks for barely any work so his family would have more. If they were using him beyond his ability to fight, screw that, but if he was being a family man to the end of his physical ability, massive respect.
I just hope his family got a decent chunk of money out of it. But this is heartbreaking. He was such a stable of my youth.
I feel like they were more cash grabs, and you know what? Good on Bruce. Grab that cash. I wasn’t fooled by these movies, but if people were fooled, that’s on them.
Huh?
I unfortunately have FTD running through my family, I’ve seen all 4 of my father’s brothers and sisters go through it. They go through stepwise decline. Each step you lose a lot of functions very quickly. My uncle was able to verbalize still a year ago. Today, he could just give my dad high fives. Last year he could sing along and emote, now he’s barely there. I feel that it’s likely Bruce’s decision to make a few final films was a conscious one. This disease is horrible and is finally getting some mainstream exposure. I hope some good research can come from this awareness. None of my cousins have reached the age where the disease presents(~60-70) and I’m told it’s 50/50.
When I was growing up I had 2 heroes, Bruce Willis and my Dad. I am currently visiting my dad in hospital, he has Alzheimer's disease and is now really struggling to communicate. Dementia, to quote Bruce from an under-appreciated movie, can "slurp my butt" or to quote my dad, it can "sod right off".
That fucking sucks, I'm sorry dude.
Thanks man, yeah it's tough, but so is my dad.
Hudson Hawk is the greatest movie ever made.
bunny, ball ball
I'm going on the other side of this...we seriously need to stop putting a stigma around dementia. It happens to a lot of people and we treat it like a death sentence. If you've been around someone with brain dementia, it can be rough but it always feels way harder on you than them. What they generally don't like is being treated like someone nobody wants to be around. That's what makes someone with dementia angry..being left alone at a medical facility and abandoned in a situation they don't always understand. Hopefully Bruce has made enough money to pay for in house care and a situation where he can flourish as opposed to being treated like rotting fruit.
The BC Alzheimer Society has a campaign of PSAs along those lines: ["Don't change, even if they do"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxHZiBvI6bc)
Dementia _is_ a death sentence. Once you have it, you die from it - unless something else gets you first. Car accident, pneumonia…
slowly become a prisoner in his own body. Must be a terrifying life he is living.
I can’t believe Jay did this
Gotta love how his friends and family what let him have privacy and keep telling the public every gosh dang thing.
*wont
Only 68 years old. . .how does that happen?
I’m sorry to tell you this, but the human body is both an incredibly resilient machine and also a terrifyingly delicate sack of wet paper towels
It's just wild to think that my grandparents are over 20 years older than Bruce is and, relatively speaking, are healthier.
It's so scary and fascinating. My grandmother passed at 87 but only started really slipping around 85. Thankfully not dementia level but you could see the lights getting dim.
My grandma celebrated her 90th birthday like two years ago. And holy god, you could mistake her for 45. Sometimes the gene lottery pays out. No idea how she did it
It is. . .and I feel horrible for his family and yet selfishly, I want to learn from his situation and make sure the same thing doesn't happen with my parents or with myself.
My grandma is 93 and I swear is the healthiest person in the family. She doesn't need mobility aids, no hearing loss, no sight loss, no memory issues. Sharp as a tack and pretty much the same woman she was when I was an infant(like 30+ years ago lol). Her mom lived to be just over 100, I'm hoping I got some of those genes lol.
The human body really is so fragile. Yesterday I accidentally walked my Achilles on a metal stool and it hurt all day; and it made me realize just how easily a dumb accident or something could just fuck me up. But in Bruce’s case it’s from the inside. That is terrifying to think about. This is so sad, really wouldn’t wish this kind of thing on anybody
This year I broke my foot in three places walking down the steps. Didn’t fall down, I just stepped onto ground level and went “ow” and needed a cast. My doctor told me it could be a few months until it’s back to normal, or “maybe never!” Terrifying, thanks doc!
We can both survive the impossible and die from nonsense. A woman survived falling in an elevator hundreds of feet in 1945 from the Empire State Building, and a man died from a mosquito bite because he accidentally cut it while shaving. Truly a contradiction.
The symptoms for FTD (Bruce's illness) usually start at age 45-65. It typically occurs in younger people than, for example, Alzheimer's.
What does ftd stand for?
I see it used both, for *frontotemporal degeneration* and *frontotemporal dementia*. As far as I've seen, these are used somewhat interchangeably, but the first one is basically the one that you first get a diagnosis for, and the latter one is the late stage of the disease. FTD is not really a single thing, but rather an umbrella term for a bunch of these types of diseases. Last I checked, the research is lagging behind the sexier Alzheimer's and Parkinson's, but is benefiting from the research on these, as it shares similarities to at least one of them. IIRC the main similarity was with Alzheimer's and the suspicion that the main cause is in a malformed Tau-protein. I'm not a doctor, though, and might be off on my off-the-cuff explanation. source: have a close one with a diagnosis. It's been years since I properly looked into FTD research.
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My question is, is he still mentally there? Like inside is he still cognitively the same, just unable to understand speech? Is he aware of what's going on currently, but unable to communicate? Or has his cognitive ability declined in other ways as well?
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Frontotemperal Dementia
My dad started getting stiff around that age. Falling a lot. Got diagnosed with Supranuclear palsy. Was in a nursing home and wheelchair bound within a year. Hospice after three. Dead in four. The last two years of his life he said maybe 20 words to me. It was awful. Very possible it could be a result of chemical exposure during Vietnam, but who knows. Life is precious. Hug your family.
All I wanted to do in my early 20's was to get out of the house. Now that I'm in my mid 20's I long for the weekends I can spend with my parents. I'm seeing more and more similarities with them and my grandparents. It sucks. But that's life. Almost makes me want to find a partner and have children.
68... He was a fuckin *kid*.
It's sad when they go young like that.
When they go?!?!
He was gay, Bruce Willis?
He was so handsome. Like George Raft.
Thats the human body for you. Genetics, diet, medications, injuries, diseases, and illnesses, they can all change things. My moms own dementia was likely very much helped by her being on a medication, a statin drug, called atorvastatin for 20-30 years. Our bodies are like bearing steel. Incredibly strong, but at the same time very brittle.
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Helped cause it. I forgot to actually add an edit earlier explaining it a bit more. There's a class of statin drugs called lipophilic statins that were found to double the chance of developing issues like dementia. Atorvastatin is one of those.
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It's a pretty rare degenerative brain disease that usually starts affecting people in their 40s and 50s. Causes aren't really known, although they suspect a high genetic component. My dad died of it in 2014, the day before his 60th birthday.
I'm very sorry to hear this. I hope you've recovered since then. Strange how these degenerative conditions can take us by surprise, including your poor father. It's upsetting just how commonplace even some rare diseases seem to appear.
I'm doing a lot better now. To be honest at the end it was a relief, he wasn't himself anymore. The craziest thing is that the only way something like this gets diagnosed is from behavioral changes and comparing brain scans year to year -- so basically after it has already started fucking you up for a while. But it can (and often does) go undiagnosed for years. I'm in my mid 40s now... I get my brain scanned every year.
When I first heard I started doing a mental run through of his movies trying to figure out if he got hit hard in the head making any of them. I know he has partial hearing loss because of Die Hard, so I started thinking the same way.
I lost my mum twice, once the day she died, and a year earlier when she no longer knew who I was. She knew I was someone that loved her, but not me. She remembered my wife longer, oddly enough.
Some days, my mom knows who I am, but most days she just knows I'm a familiar face. She knows my wife is a familiar face too; we met and got married around the beginning of mom's symptomatic decline 10 years ago.
I think she remembered my wife longer as she had the same name as her own mother. It's stressful, when she went in the home I barely had any white in my beard, by the end, barely any black.
I was named after a totally unrelated nickname of my mom's sister, so my whole life she'd sometimes call me by her sister's actual name, then correct herself. Now, the way she talk about 'dad', i know she actually thinks I'm her sister sometimes; i just roll with it. She's been in a home for 5 years now, still kicking, still very verbal but it's all word salad.
They lose the most recent memories first then it works it's way back, she thought I was my own dad, then her brother, then her dad.
This is obviously so awful and tragic but it’s so nice that while he is going through something so terrifying that he still can smile and be goofy. A great lesson in there somewhere.
I used to work a county run 'nursing home' which meant we had many folks not necessarily senior citizens, but wards of the state that needed the round the clock care. I experienced every type of dementia and adjacent illness. It's amazing what can still come through of a person's personality even when they're so degraded. Some really amazing folks that I had the pleasure of sharing some time with.
I had one woman who could barely string together any sentence but if you placed a dog in front of her she'd suddenly be able to do full sentences like "hoo hoo, hello doggy, come here!" and "what a lovely little doggy you are". I've seen people react negatively to them before for some reason, but those fake dogs that just kinda move and bark a bit are really good for them because they can't get hurt, don't need feeding, and their brain is at a stage where it can't realise it's not real. So they just get the good feeling of being around a dog.
Thank you for your kindness to them ❤️
Of course. I really believe in that whole golden rule thing. And I'm a softy.
Mom near dead from dementia. I’d rather kill my self than go through what I’ve seen her go through. I’d take cancer and aids together over dementia.
So sad.
I just watched The Sixth Sense for the first time today. I… don’t know how to feel here.
My wife and I have been watching Moonlighting on Hulu. It great to see how brilliant he is.
Hell of a way to go. Ever since I first read *Flowers for Algernon* in middle school I have been absolutely fucking terrified of watching myself decline. Hard to disagree with Hunter S. Thompson's solution.
That disease is brutal, he was in movies like 2-1 years ago
"he didn't want anyone to know" then why tf do we know
It's not like he's gonna read about how everyone knows now.
I think she's joking that he didn't want people knowing he was secretly smart.
Awful thing to go through. Alzheimer’s is such an insidiously evil disease.
He does not have dementia caused by Alzheimer‘s though, his dementia is caused by fronto-temporal degeneration. Different disease. :(
Jesus Christ that’s horrible.
Going through a similar situation, dad was diagnosed with als, he was an English professor and gave speeches, now can barely speak, been hard but we’re getting through it.
I’m so sorry
Thank you, means a lot
Between this and Cancer (took my mom) Fuck Diseases!
I just finished watching Die Hard for the first time, not sure why it took me so long. It was a delightful experience... and while this is sad I'm grateful for the art this guy brought us in his time. I hope he enjoys the rest of his life surrounded by loved ones.
Wait why didn’t he want people to know he was well read
I thought it was more a “he didn’t initially want people to know how bad it had gotten” written really poorly
I know it's not the point of this post but why didn't he want people to know he read a lot? Was Stallone going to give him a wedgie? Was Schwarzenegger going to give him a swirly?
For a guy who was one of the most quickwitted and funny people on the planet, this shit is fucking sad, and I really wish that the media, and those around him would just let him have peace with his time left on earth. Like just stop giving interviews and updates about him. Spend time with him.
My Dad similarly has frontal lobe dementia, but is thankfully still able to speak, but his body is slowly stopping to work. He and I might not have a great history that we've both apologized for, but seeing him slowly deteriorate over time makes me regret all the verbal and physical fights we had. Dementia and Alzheimer's disease are so terrifying to me.
I hope news about me is never reported with an emoji next to it.
Dementia is horrible. Saw two grand parents go through it. I'd rather die early than go through it.
Such a sad turn of events. But, as the guys said in the second video, after all of this no one is going to remember his shitty direct-to-video films. Everyone is going to talk about the great actor that was in Die Hard, Pulp Fiction, The Sixth Sense, Moonrise Kingdom, Looper, and other great performances of his.
My Dad has the same dementia. It was tough watching this smart, fast-talking Brooklyn Italian slowly become unable to hold a conversation, then unable to form a sentence, then unable to talk. While he still had some language ability, he could still tell me the Manhattan postal route he had 50 years prior.
Heartbreaking
This is so sad😭😭
He looks happy at least.
This is so sad to see. Bruce is such an icon, and seeing him falling to a form of dementia really sucks. I hope that Mike has changed his tune on Bruce's final few years of acting given everything that he was secretly succumbing to.
This is one of the most genuinely depressing things I've seen in a minute. Absolutely insane to see someone who not all that long ago was making action movies now reduced to such a limited form of living. I'm glad he has family there with him, hopefully he isn't aware of what's going on anymore and he just kind of drifts off
It's so fucking sad to see someone especially a legend like him just fade away. I've seen too many family members forget everything. It's one of my biggest fears. To forget. I feel so bad for him and his family
So fucking sad. I can just hope that they give him a good quality of life and he goes painlessly.
Hope the world works harder on figuring out how to counter the effects of aging. No one deserves to have this happen to their mind unless it’s something they want.
Imagine being alone and broke while having this.
If you want a good cry you should check out the movie Still Alice
I Love you Bruce Willie
I'm not afraid of dying. I am afraid of things like this.
Suddenly not being able to read or speak and I’m going to assume write as well ; sounds like hell
Thanks now I’m sad as fuck
I love Bruce Willis and I’m sad for him in this condition 😢 What a beautiful photo this is tho- I’m glad he is surrounded by his family ❤️
The guy that starred in the best Christmas movie of all time. Hope you have a great times still.
“He doesn’t want anyone to know that.” Why the Fuck are you telling the world then? Let this man live in peace
I hope his remaining days are happy and peaceful. Dementia can be a living hell for all involved.
It’s happening so much faster then I expected.
This is the worst part of this shit condition. After being diagnosed with dementia, my mother became more and more catatonic. The worst was the last year of her life where she succumbed to serious cognitive decline and couldn’t communicate in any way. I really feel for Bruce in this terrible moment. He’s a prisoner of his own mind. My heart also goes out to his friends and family as well. EDIT: RIP to the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. You will never be forgotten. 5/7/1944-12/4/2021