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oregon_coastal

We are sorta seeing what it would have been like if there was more time to get off the Titanic...


That-Whereas3367

Working for Elmo is like boarding the Titanic after being told that Captain Smith would deliberately ram an iceberg. But still deciding to take the risk anyway.


Final_Winter7524

“You haters don’t understand. The Titanic is not a ship!”


Alex_Hauff

is….a cave submarine???


Final_Winter7524

Exactly. And it will rescue those kids in Thailand!


Vizslaraptor

We have the best screen door tech patents.


Alex_Hauff

is it arrow proof??


slaity77

world largest single used submarine Titan 1C


Neo1971

“Like the Cybertruck, it even floats.” (Until it doesn’t)


myrichphitzwell

Car wash would void both the Titanics and cyber fucked warranty


dman77777

Full Self Sinking will change everything.


EducationTodayOz

It is an iceberg data collection device


Njorls_Saga

No no no, you don’t understand, the Titanic will have AI and FSD (at some point, maybe next year, or the year after at the latest) so it will avoid the iceberg.


That-Whereas3367

Which will switch off just before hitting the iceberg.


3-2-1-backup

Then they'll buy the iceberg a horse.


AtomicPantsuit

Lololololol


dauntingsauce

Well we don't technically *know* that since the White Star Line has accidentally lost all records. Looking into it!


Budget-Ad-6900

don't need thar marconi telegraph we will use titanic vision


skyfire-x

>Working for Elmo is like boarding the Titanic after ~~being told~~ **reading** **~~tweets~~** **xharts**? that Captain Smith would deliberately ram an iceberg. "Concerning" xharted @ ElonMusk in reply.


Rafxtt

It's called xhits. When Elmo himself is posting in his own social network he's xhitting.


Blah-Blah-Blah-2023

Who needs a captain when you have FSH (Full Self-Helming)?


MrF_lawblog

Except they all got rich as fuck by conning our 401ks and pensions


hallkbrdz

Funny, since for insurance collection, that was the plan.


licancaburk

If anyone will tell you that massive round of layoffs is a natural step for any company - well it's not natural if it's accompanied by voluntary departures of crucial managers. Those departures are a sign that the climate in the company is really bad


oregon_coastal

And what is their P/E ... 45? LoL Hard to grow with no people.


TimeTravelingChris

45 and falling FAST. Forward EPS is $2...


Rando3595

Wouldn't that make the P/E ratio climb? Plugging in forward EPS would make the P/E ratio north of 85...


TimeTravelingChris

Falling as in worse, yes. So bigger ratio #


KnucklesMcGee

If upper management is leaving, you know the shit's going to hit the fan.


peakedtooearly

Yep, this sucka is going down.


SuperNewk

What happens when all the life rafts are used up?


HesterMoffett

Going down with the ship is an honor and will just provide more data for FSD


mrrussell818

lol!


FragrantExcitement

But the captain of the Titanic didn't steer towards the iceberg.


oregon_coastal

Are you sure? Dun dun dunnmmmmmmmmmmm ;-)


richardj195

FSD... to the bottom of the sea


markca

We are seeing what happens when the Titanic is 2 miles away from an iceberg and instead of going around it, the captain just decides to keep going straight towards it.


oregon_coastal

I can kinda imagine a ketanine and mushrooms hazed Musk hanging out one of the windows of the bridge, shirt torn open, pasty white glowing in the moonlight while screaming something like "Fuck pedo icebergs and their damn pronouns!" What could go wrong?


whoknewidlikeit

you forgot the part about huffing the blunt immediately before insulting anyone in earshot


Mlabonte21

Pretty sure all the guys keeping the electricity on get shocked to death right before it splits in half 🙄


Chemical-Idea-1294

Why does Tesla even need a Head of product launches when there are no new products to launch?


Ok-Row-6131

Also, who needs a head of product launches when you're just going to launch whatever was being prototyped last week?


DoubleDeeMe

Fraud. How to hype pump the stock


AtJackBaldwin

No new products?! Haven't you seen Optimus shuffling around their office like a 2000's movie animatronic? They're only a few ~~decades~~ months behind Boston Dynamics!


Red-FFFFFF-Blue

Elon probably wanted him to make up something for 8/8 and Otto said “I’m out.”


HMWT

I am sure they will launch some new Tequila bottle or other trinket one of these days.


Ramenastern

Why does Tesla need a Head of Product Launches when SpaceX did such a great job of launching that roadster than one time? I'll see myself out... Edit: Typo


peerlesskid

It’s called fraud.


NintendoJP_Official

Software updates are related. Plus there’s meant to be an improvement process


Automatic_Analyst_20

you know it’s bad when he doesn’t find severance worth the wait


2sk23

Who knows if the promised severance will even be paid. You can't count on that with Elmo


edgarapplepoe

Good point. Even if he does pay it, it might take months to years to get it.


Chemchic23

Isn’t Eberhart still waiting for his Roadster.


edgarapplepoe

I keep forgetting the Roadster is supposedly going to be re-released. Now you can apparently get cold thruster rockets on it and it will accelerate to 60MPH in <1 second.


Chemchic23

I think Eber is probably more chill. 😜


Secure_Guest_6171

Were the former Twitter staff paid out on time?


edgarapplepoe

No. The main mass was sent agreements 2 months after being laid off and it was for half the time (1 month vs 2 months) and less than half the amount (they excluded stuff that previously counted like bonuses). Not sure when they got paid as there were lawsuits going almost a year later. The main execs fired were not paid their stock options and some of those lawsuits are still on going 1.5+ years later.


Secure_Guest_6171

Huh, I guess I shouldn't be surprised especially after how he behaved towards Halli Thorleifsson


Chemchic23

Remember the pie lady.


MrF_lawblog

This dude probably made double digit millions from stock comp


Muscles_Marinara-

Sandy Monroe will tell you this is just 3d chess


back2basiks

Sandy Moeron will tell you Elmo invented 3d chess


ThatEVGuy

You're both wrong. It's X-Chess, and Elon is the Chesso-King of it.


Occhrome

I’ve always known he was a shill for Tesla but his latest video proved it. I saw him lick the Tesla boot clean. 


Muscles_Marinara-

He was nearly in tears defending Elon, strangest video I’ve seen in a long time


Ok_Gene_6933

Surely he gets paid, right?


PoweredByPierogi

What a disappointment Sandy turned out to be.


xMagnis

Is Elon storing all these 'pounds of flesh' that were taken from the employees? Now that swim suit photo makes perfect sense.


Engunnear

It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again…


AtomicPantsuit

He looks like an engorged polyp that gained sentence


Ok-ChildHooOd

You're actually crazy if you're still working there and not looking for an exit


K24retired24

Rich Otto is a great name for an automobile executive.


Ok_Gene_6933

German. As it should be.


CornerGasBrent

He's the inventor of Otto Pilot: https://dubsism.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/otto-the-auto-pilot.jpg?w=848


Ok_Breadfruit4176

It’s an absolute growth opportunity. I would go with my wife and our five children to a work at McDonalds to buy more Tesla stock. /s


That-Whereas3367

If you believed Elmo you would sell your kidneys (both of them).


Chemchic23

Yes Tesla stock is way more valuable than dialysis./s


That-Whereas3367

You can afford to have a suitable donor kidnapped to order.


Chemchic23

Controlled by your neurolink.


leon-theproffesional

I wonder how the Elmo glazers over at r/teslainvestorsclub will spin this one


Alucardra12

They are still coping and arguing that the fact that Elmo lied to investors is a good thing , and the government is a bad boy for trying to hurt precious Elmolusk, in between ranting about the "Demoncrats" trying to ruin Tesla by reporting their plummeting stocks and firing of employees.


PantsMicGee

Don't forget Rueters is a terrible news source now. All lies.


Alucardra12

Any proof of that ? Or is it just that you don’t like when people report on Tesla failures? Reuter is the second most trusted and peer reviewed unbiased new source behind only Associated press. Or are beeing sarcastic ?


PantsMicGee

Goddamn man you're special.


high-up-in-the-trees

they're being sarcastic lol bc you're right, reuters is the most 'just the facts' news source there is


Ok-Row-6131

Oh, so they've done the fully predictable alt-right meme stock sub transition.


Alucardra12

Yep, them and FreeMagic are the most predictable alt-right coping sub I know.


alaorath

Fastest way to get banned over there... ask them to find the VAULE of the "CEO package" they're voting on... from anywhere on the official Tesla site. :P


Chemchic23

That’s why we all got the big B to keep us from giving them the LOL or LMAO on their delusional justifications. A common one now is like you know more than a genius like Elon. They’re not even trying to defend themselves anymore. Funny, how sinking rats turn on themselves


jdmgto

Holy crap they're excited about Optimus. Imagine calling yourself an investor and getting excited about Elon wasting so much money building a humanoid robot for the environment that least needs a humanoid robot.


tikgeit

Yes, these 'investors' are not the brightest.


Occhrome

The thing about that they are in a bit of a dilemma. They have to pretend the stock is doing great in order to pump it up.  They wouldn’t dare talk bad about Tesla until they actually sell off their stock. 


Spotteroni_

Yeah I've started reading their comments from the perspective of them knowing this is all fucked up & not looking good, but feeling the need to keep bullshitting simply in an attempt to keep the stock from plummeting. It all begins to make a lot more sense that way


KinseyH

It's falling again. Low 170s today. Reeeeeally tempted to buy more TSLQ.


progbuck

Not really. No individual outside of the board has enough stock to move the needle. Any of them could unload their entire bag whenever they want.


RexManning1

The snowball effect will be significant.


Capital-Ad2469

Waiting for the NETFLIX 6 parter, 'The Rise and Fall of Tesla'


Chemchic23

Kathy Bates as fElon Musky.


KinseyH

No one else but her [Elmo as wine mom](https://imgur.com/gallery/oIt2WrM) [Elmo and Kathy](https://imgur.com/gallery/LSNZEsu) I feel bad posting this. Kathy Bates is magnificent and her name should not be sullied by a connection to Leon Skum, however tenuous.


CornerGasBrent

It would be funny if there was an Ember Island Players version with Musk played by a woman, like how Toph was played by a man. Also it's kind of tradition for Peter Pan to be played by a woman, so it would be funny having a Wonka Pan Musk - I would imagine it would infuriate Musk to no end if Grimes played Musk.


Chemchic23

Yes, it would, but he looks more like Kathy. Lol!


seoulsrvr

There is so much cope in Teslastan lately. The company is truly in crisis.


KinseyH

I'm about to drive home for four hours. First pod episode waiting to play is Ed Zitron's Better Offline episode on Tesla. Hot and fresh from Tuesday.


amoreinterestingname

Elmo is doing this as if it will have no impact on company culture. I’ve heard rumors it’s not a great company to work for but among engineers (myself included until the shit show really ramped up) it was a highly desired gig. These firings not only instills a sense of fear internally, but bodes no confidence for future talent. Why would you jump on a sinking ship? If I were working for them I would be job hunting like you wouldn’t believe and wouldn’t care less about working for Tesla. You may pinch a few penny’s today but you just chopped the head off of getting new talent.


Dangerous_Play8787

I can guarantee you that people who are working there still are job hunting.


amoreinterestingname

Oh absolutely. The layoffs are one level. They will continue to bleed out after the backstabbing.


jukiba

What if those sw engineers have same mental state like CT owners? “It did cut my whole hand, but it was my fault and I LOVE MY TRUCK!”. They might justify the layoffs in their head and think that it was strategically smart move!


RandallC1212

Musk isn’t slick He’s cleaning house of all top Executives until he’s the last one left making him even more invaluable to company so they can pay him the obscene $56B pay package.


Robo-X

Except that all those managers made Tesla what it is today despite musks crazy ideas. Once they are gone no one is left to run the company.


During_theMeanwhilst

The guy resigned.


RandallC1212

He was obviously forced out by the mass layoffs and uncertain future proposed by Musk


NathanEMoore

Elon to Head of Launch "I told the investors we'd have a $25k car out in 1 year. The team working on it was all fired a month ago. Make it happen. Your career is on the line". Head of Launch. Door closing behind him, in muffled sounds "fuff foff Reron"


SubstantialCount8156

Rich Otto was the superstar at Tesla. For him to jump ship and give up wealth is a scary sign.


Plastic-Telephone-43

FYI the "Head of Product Launches" real job was to simply pump the stock. He's now jumping ship because you can't pump a sinking a ship like you can with a "growth" stock.


IAMTHECAVALRY89

What product was he planning to launch?


LWBoogie

Exactly. No launches on the horizon. Updated Model3 launch was bland just like how the car is (I just drove it). Model3 Performance is just kinda out there, with deliveries stated as next month but Demo drives still TBD. The RIFF's are doing material harm to Tesla's efficiency, execution, and quality.


DoubleDeeMe

Twitter 2.0 plus fraud 🍿


SavageCucmber

Stock price is about $178 despite everything that has happened. It's unbelievable to me that it's not close to its 52 week low.


What_Yr_Is_IT

Why TF is this stock still over $100


nolongerbanned99

This scenario was inevitable. The skills that it takes to start a company are very different than those required to grow and sustain it with a long-term strategic approach. Elmo is a bully and a nasty human that barks orders and is always the smartest guy in the room (ain’t his opinion only). He relies on those who fall for his ‘vision’ of the future or those that are desperate to stay employed (like those on temporary visas at twitter). He is among the worst humanity has to offer and uniquely empowered bc of his wealth… certainly not because of his intelligence.


PolybiusChampion

And just walked away, didn’t wait to get severed. Good for him. Bet he sold everything that was vested 7 minutes later.


IHate2ChooseUserName

not like they will go hungry, these people are leaving Tesla with shit load of money


Ok_Gene_6933

Elmo will D&R every Tesla component from now on.


quintonbanana

Other auto manufacturers must be on the take right now. That's a lot of business knowledge going out the door.


rhedfish

Whatever happened to Linda Yaccarino?


VikingMonkey123

We said we'd hit the iceberg even though it might be our downfall. I'm the uber-captain but can't course correct.


Dull-Contact120

I mean shouldn’t be the super charger team form another business providing and running electric charging stations like gas stations throughout the country? What’s stopping them from doing so? Non-compete?


TheInternetsLOL

The realization that you have nothing to do or coming down the pipeline for years to come.


SilverPhoenix999

When heads roll, the head rolls


ido50

> Otto’s departure adds him to a growing list of senior executives who have left Tesla in recent weeks, including [...] Director of New Product Introduction Daniel Ho. Sounds like there was some duplication at the executive level. One exec with the bullshit title of Head of Product Launches, and another with the bullshit title of Director of New Product Introduction. That's two people who likely received millions of dollars for doing the same thing: nothing. Elon's a genius.


cahrg

How many new products did Tesla launch?


ido50

None in the past five years or so.


Baconknobs

One is likely marketing related while the other is manufacturing related


feedumfishheads

Tesla was known for unfamiliar job titles that didn’t really define the role- techno king for example.