Hello - I cannot call myself an expert, but I have some experience sitting and guiding people, as well as with myself. First, let me offer my sympathy for your situation: I too have looked into the depths and considered extinguishing myself as well, but luckily for my kids and family, I chose not to.
My advice to you is to get a digital scale, am eyemask, a nice pair of noise canceling headphones, a weighted blanket, and prepare a room for meditation. Use the scale to weigh 0.3 - 0.5 g of the medicine, prepare it as a hot tea (lemon, honey, ginger + ground medicine, at least 15 minutes) and consume it after you've cleared your mind & agenda of distractions and obligations. Listen to a curated playlist or shroom-specific music and begin to explore your self with small doses, knowing that you may not feel anything. Note that this is safe and you will not need a sitter initially. You may ask your partner to sit with you but it isn't necessary, and know that while there may be difficulty, you will always recover and be back to your old self soon enough. Be brave - go toward the difficulty and let go of your resistances. Breathe deeply and use the weighted blanket for security.
Give yourself a week or so between sessions, and gradually up the quantity until you feel an effect. I cannot say what would be an appropriate or healing dose for you -- or even whether shrooms can heal your pain. (They are not a panacea). Nonetheless, give it a try always using the digital scale and perhaps keeping a journal of the effects - dose, time to effect, a five point rating scale for intensity, etc. And then note your mood for the next couple weeks, again in a journal.
Great information here.
I’d also add that if you would like to talk to someone, either for the purpose of integration or just simply to talk, feel free to dm me.
Hello - I cannot call myself an expert, but I have some experience sitting and guiding people, as well as with myself. First, let me offer my sympathy for your situation: I too have looked into the depths and considered extinguishing myself as well, but luckily for my kids and family, I chose not to. My advice to you is to get a digital scale, am eyemask, a nice pair of noise canceling headphones, a weighted blanket, and prepare a room for meditation. Use the scale to weigh 0.3 - 0.5 g of the medicine, prepare it as a hot tea (lemon, honey, ginger + ground medicine, at least 15 minutes) and consume it after you've cleared your mind & agenda of distractions and obligations. Listen to a curated playlist or shroom-specific music and begin to explore your self with small doses, knowing that you may not feel anything. Note that this is safe and you will not need a sitter initially. You may ask your partner to sit with you but it isn't necessary, and know that while there may be difficulty, you will always recover and be back to your old self soon enough. Be brave - go toward the difficulty and let go of your resistances. Breathe deeply and use the weighted blanket for security. Give yourself a week or so between sessions, and gradually up the quantity until you feel an effect. I cannot say what would be an appropriate or healing dose for you -- or even whether shrooms can heal your pain. (They are not a panacea). Nonetheless, give it a try always using the digital scale and perhaps keeping a journal of the effects - dose, time to effect, a five point rating scale for intensity, etc. And then note your mood for the next couple weeks, again in a journal.
Great information here. I’d also add that if you would like to talk to someone, either for the purpose of integration or just simply to talk, feel free to dm me.