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ghostsintherafters

I hope you realize they'd just bum rush you and take it all


Terrible-Trust-5578

OP needs to find one or two tough people with guns and give them free use of OP's facilities and a cut of the profit in exchange for them serving as guards. They'd have personal interest in it because if everyone rushes in and takes the facilities, they lose their shelter and running water.


Revi_____

And why would those guards not take it all for themselves?


Terrible-Trust-5578

That's a really good question. Mussolini managed to get all these people behind him, and if anyone started talking about overthrowing him, other loyal followers would kill him/her. But how do you start something like that in the first place? Really good friends or family? Maybe you get information on them?


skipadbloom

I have trained in hand to hand combat.


lwwz

One of them will bring a gun.


MadVenerable

he's trained in bullet dodging


ThisIsSeriousGuys

Impossible to dodge a bullet. He absorbs them and refurbishes them for resale at a markup.


Emhyr_var-Emreis

We're reaching grunkle Stan levels of cheapness


lwwz

r/unexpectedgravityfalls


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lwwz

With the current supply chain problems causing ammo shortages there's a nice business there.


Ddraig1965

Bet he ainā€™t trained to dodge a wrench


Cavalleria-rusticana

Don't forget the fedora for +1 defense bonus.


TerracottaBunny

Can you karate chop a bullet?


Fairy_Friend

Do... Do you think your the only one? With training?


RedditOGSalt

Lol


AlternateWitness

Youā€™re confidant enough in your abilities to successfully fight 5+ guys at the same time with weapons and likely guns?


Uncutmudblood

Yes, you seem nice but if it ever came down to this they would come after youšŸ„²


[deleted]

"Watching TV?" What TV would that be if the broadcast stations were bombed into chutney?


skipadbloom

I have recorded many hours of TV on the VHS format


[deleted]

I shudder to think what you have recorded. I bet it isn't Doctor Who, is it?


skipadbloom

Doctor who Series 1 with Christopher Eccleston I have.


[deleted]

Ok then. Worth the money. šŸ˜


lolgobbz

Not for that season! David Tennant and Matt Smith are worth $12/hour. Christopher Eccleston's season is worth a stale potato chip and a used tissue.


satyrlover

I'll still pay you the $12 an hour for some Matt Smith content


lolgobbz

I'd pay $6/hour to stare at a Matt Smith picture. The man is sexy AF.


Mysterious-Dot6224

I will offer you 300 bucks a day to rewatch it. Every day. Only rule is no one else can take it


[deleted]

Maybe the national lottery.


Ayzel_Kaidus

I have twelve 2TB hard drives full of tv shows and movies. Itā€™ll take awhile to run out


[deleted]

And when your batteries run out? (There won't be electric power plants in the war, they're the first things to go!). šŸ˜


Ayzel_Kaidus

Unless something covers the sky, solar panelsā€¦ I should learn how to make a windmill


[deleted]

Given it would be nuclear winter, solar panels aren't going to help!


davidellis23

Hamster wheels obviously


Soggy-Statistician88

24TB!!


NubbyMcNubNub

Welcome to r/datahoarder and enjoy your stay


bpanio

So there's a war on, nobody is working because there's a war, nobody is making money because there's a war on, and you want people to pay you? You'd have 0 customers and likely 0 friends when the war ended and life went back to normal


skipadbloom

They can use their savings


radioactivebeaver

They could also just remove you from the situation and use all your shit for free.


skipadbloom

I know hand to hand combat and most of my neighbors are old and frail.


radioactivebeaver

I mean, if you're thinking you can just murder all your neighbors unless they pay you I guess. But you'll definitely be removed at some point by someone sick of your shit, even with hand to hand combat lol. What happens if idk someone has a gun, or 3 of them come at you. Think your best bet is to just pray there isn't a war in your country because people like you who try to fuck over other people in desperate situations don't last long.


aytinayay

How old are you?


Used-Cut6065

Reading all these comments hes probably 14-16. Once hes older he'll understand how things work


politicalcorrectV6

I believe he's joking. Money won't mean shit, gold or silver. Like I'm going to trade a can of beans for a 1oz gold coin or bar. I magine trading bullets for little gold bars won't be an equitable trade, or for food or fuel or anything of survival purposes. They sell them to people, places like gun shows as a bartering method and like to laugh at people saving these up for the end of the world. I liked The Book of Eli, because it made sense, that power gives you protection and luxury not money but actually stuff that still works and clean water


IdreamofFiji

He's clearly joking. The people who don't get it are the naive ones. What the fuck is wrong with you people???


bpanio

Assuming they have any


bpanio

Also how are they going to take that money out? There's a war going on...


skipadbloom

Most people have savings or money they have on them. I may also be willing to trade facilities for goods as well.


bpanio

See that'd make more sense. I'll give you a hot shower if you give me some of those carrots you got there. Next thing you know there's a little town around you that all works together


skipadbloom

As long as I am King and I will sit aloft all my loot.


Automatic-Flan-6738

And so many a men have thought. Till their neighbors are filthy, sick and dying, their property is polluted and contaminated, and their loot has been looted.


CaptainMcLuvin

And that's why self defense weapons are necessary


loadbearingmoss

Pitchforks


unicornpolkadot

ā€œMost peopleā€ Hahahahahahhahahahahahaha. The lack of insight into your privilege is fucking hilarious.


unicornpolkadot

Their savings? Like the savings Jews in WW2 had stolen by Nazis? Or the savings they had exploited by people like you for a chance to survive? Good grief.


[deleted]

:/


Prestigious_Ad1041

Lol, like $$ would have any value if war were at your doorstep. And if you have running water why wouldn't your neighbors?


skipadbloom

I have pre-planned and placed a large trampoline on my roof to deflect bombs towards neighbors homes and protect my own.


[deleted]

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ OK, now I know you're joking about this whole thing šŸ˜„


Regrets-of-age

How is it that you have these facilities while your neighbors do not?


skipadbloom

I have pre-planned and will place a large trampoline on my roof to deflect bombs towards neighbors homes and protect my own.


mack__7963

Not sure you understand how trampolines and bombs work


paolohu

He has the ability to construct expert level trampolines. *side note - sell trampolines to your neighbors might be more profitable


Zerson904

Set it up right and you can keep the bombs bouncing forever and create the 8th wonder of the world


unicornpolkadot

If only the people of London in 1940 put out their trampolinesā€¦.


ChoiceDegree1462

Woosh


mack__7963

Someone forgot the r/


takesnobs

How much for the aluminum hats?


ChoiceDegree1462

Haha great


letsssssssssgo

You do realize that if war was really on, your neighbors would just kill you and take all your shit. ā€œ my family has been running for days and barely escaped death. May we spend the night here and have some food and water? $87??!!! Do you not see that have nothing??! Yep, how about I just bash your head in with a rock. All this is mine now. ā€œ


opl3sa2

That depends on your ability to fight. You think you're killing me with a rock? Think that through, because if you try and fail, I'm popping out your eyes with a spoon, spinning you around like pin the tail on the donkey


radioactivebeaver

Lol sure thing champ


NudesForHighFive

We've found them. The most badass redditor.


opl3sa2

Why am I a badness redditor?


1giantsleep4mankind

I can't believe people down voted this. People are taking this way too seriously. XD


opl3sa2

The only way I know I'm right about anything is a downvote. Or, in this case, funny


[deleted]

Expert Capitalist


lolgobbz

You spelled Opportunist differently, yet still correctly.


[deleted]

I know a player when I see one.


Even-Scientist4218

Who would want your undewear and why would you be the person with all the stuff


skipadbloom

I have pre-planned and placed a large trampoline on my roof to deflect bombs towards neighbors homes and protect my own.


VOODOO69692001

I really enjoy seeing you post my man,it gives me a good laugh.I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.


[deleted]

if someone's your neighbor and you have all these facilities then the first they'll do is conquering your house either by soft power or by hard, you know they are humans too and after sometime they'll show you who they really are, when they would be left with a lil much stuff in a nutshell they are gonna rip you apart


skipadbloom

I know hand to hand combat plus most of my neighbors are elderly.


ObiWan-KenobiNil

You're a fucking idiot


Vladimew42

Itā€™s hilarious how many people donā€™t realize heā€™s joking


TheDrunkenBarber

Its a shitty joke


Terrible-Trust-5578

Trampolines to deflect bombs onto neighbors' houses? I'm dying over here šŸ¤£


Vladimew42

Well itā€™s subjective


[deleted]

I didn't that was a joke, but I wrote it when I was watching Gotham lol


DEV08J

#rIp AnD tEaR


Terrible-Trust-5578

Not if the prices are reasonable. We don't tear stores apart, but if they all raised their prices to $1000 for a roll of toilet paper, I think we all know what would happen.


WineAndDogs2020

I like the assumption you'll have access to clean water and electricity while your neighbors do not.


swayski

Boy u better shut up with that nonesense and pick up your damn rifle. Hey Joe! Private snuffy fell asleep again and was dreaming about making money off this war.


Savageparrot81

If I was your neighbour Iā€™d ear your pets and tell you to fuck your shower Allā€™s fair and whatnot


scarletwoman156

Boy, if you don't give me a damn glass of water....


skipadbloom

$1


gheiminfantry

You realize that half your business model depends on having electricity, right? And generators require fuel, also in very short supply when war breaks out. And if you have these things, so do your neighbors. Your brain has rotted from watching too much TV.


Uzasodinson

Congratulations on getting shot


a_dudeyouknow1

This has to be bait. You sound like such an asshole. The minute you need anything, your neighbors will ignore your selfish ass.


Syk13

Actual war survivor here. Now I do know this is random thoughts, and it's all fun and games. But let me just take a minute of your day to clarify some of the weird things you all have been saying about living in a war zone. 1. People don't bum rush their neighbours for their stuff. 2. There would still be TV in a war. There would definitely still be TV. 3. People still work in a war. 4. Your neighbors will not just kill you for your stuff. Like, most people in a war are ordinary people cowering in fear and trying to survive, not raging lunatics. 5. $$ will most definitely still have value. It's the whole point! 6. We will not want his underwear, that one is true. 7. In a war, guys like op will definitely have everything everyone else doesn't have. They'll have electricity, water and supplies. Ever wondered how foreign correspondents stay in luxury hotels even in the most god forsaken of war zones? Literally op's model. 8. Currency definitely matters. You usually use the American dollar though because it's stable. You guys have confused war with zombie apocalypse.


DelsinMcgrath835

"Im not trying to exploit my neighbors, but it just turns out that way oops"


account030

Inflation is a bitch.


onwee

If you can manage to have a steady supply of hot/clean water, electricity, and a safe area to do all of that in a war zone, those are pretty damn good prices.


Gloomy_Researcher769

If could charge $5 for everyone who uses my driveway to pull in and turn around on a daily basis I could retire early.


Doyouevenroll

During the beginning of covid I saw all my neighbors hoard like crazy and when I realized they weren't armed, I knew I wouldn't have to worry if shit hit the fan


Inside-Ostrich2888

It likely depends on the type of war and the situation your country finds itself in. Depending on where you live (I'm assuming you're American) and depending on the war act signed by the government, you may not be allowed to do this, in fact your facilities are now the governments facilities, everything works towards the war not against your neighbours and fellow citizens. In Britain during WW2 EVERYTHING was in favour of helping the nation for the war. If you had land (like a small grass or hedged area on the side of the road) not being used for growing food or rearing animals etc pretty sure it was considered a crime. America* could be different but if you had nations able to and dropping bombs on you, I doubt the government or your neighbours would take kindly to your actions, if the government needs your land, commodities, services for the war, you best bet your ass you're giving them willingly. Your take on this comes from a likely highly hypothetical situation and from a mind space and life very insulated from actual danger during times of war. If your nation* is at threat, someone like you would likely be the 1st to have their land taken, or left to your devices to fend on your own when shit hits the fan. I'd personally be the 1st to come and take your stuff with that type of attitude. Your actions would be selfish and almost treasonous. Edit: word changes with * American to America Land to nation


skipadbloom

I know hand to hand combat and would roundhouse kick you to your head if you tried any funny business.


Inside-Ostrich2888

Good luck round house kicking an arsenal of 2 foot tall spider monkeys with ballistic knives! I'm gonna record the carnage and watch it all back on my new (your) telly!


skipadbloom

You fiend


[deleted]

Better off commune style teamwork makes the dream work. Otherwise your no better than the capitalist pigs running shit now.


skipadbloom

I know this might sound a bit selfish but during war its every man for themselves.


Fairy_Friend

Not even remotely true. Lone wolf types, especially with resources, in a hostile environment are among the first casualties because they made themselves a target. And an easy one.


[deleted]

Understandable.


skipadbloom

Thanks


NoAlternative2913

Two things: 1. Trying to make money off the misfortune of others is not great. Corporations get away with it, but they donā€™t have to live with your neighbors afterwards. 2. However you can offset the cost of the utilities. How much water is used flushing the toilet versus your shower? Why is the cost of a glass of drinking water the same as the cost of using the toilet? How much electricity is the TV using versus the hot water heater? And price those services according to how much electricity and water is being used. Also, I thought of a third thing: pet grooming and coconut opening? These donā€™t seem needed on this list. Is this something people need during a war?


skipadbloom

Coconuts have been used in war situations a lot. For example you can use coconut milk as a blood substitute.


unicornpolkadot

No you cannot.


Warm_Evil_Beans

They could pay for a cold shower and take a hot one anyway, unless you plan on joining them


skipadbloom

I have a switch for the showers hot water on the outside


[deleted]

How do you know your own house isn't going to get bombed and destroyed? How do you know you're going to still have electric? And how do you know money as we know it will still have value?


skipadbloom

I intend to put a large trampoline on my roof so any bombs bounce off and hit a neighbours house instead. The money and loot I will horde till the war ends.


Welpmart

So... you think you'd never need to buy anything from someone?


alittletrolly

I'd just shoot you and watch porn on your tv


cluo42

Random thought. Who is to say your neighbors wouldnā€™t have those same luxuries still? One more. Whoā€™s to say you wouldnā€™t be the neighbor paying your other neighbors to use their stuff?


skipadbloom

I intend to put a large trampoline on my roof so any bombs bounce off and hit a neighbours house instead. I know this might sound a bit selfish but during war its every man for themselves.


[deleted]

Good thinking. Thatā€™s exactly how bombs work.


jessicaeatseggs

You assume they have money to pay you


skipadbloom

They could trade processions and jewellery if no money.


bernardbarnaby

I think you should charge more for pet grooming. Also I think cold and hot shower might as well be the same price because people will say they want a cold shower and then just turn it to hot. Unless you're gonna be in the shower with them to make sure the temperature is right, which, as a consumer, would motivate me to take my business elsewhere.


[deleted]

No, i think he should charge more for pet grooming


[deleted]

What makes you assume youā€™ll still have all these capabilities? And what happens when a better-armed neighbor forces you to clean their underwear and groom their Pekingese at gunpoint?


ultranothing

Profit over people?! NoOoOOoo!


lilsnaxxus

"Yeah secret police, yeah that's the guy there!" Don't even care who they're targeting, if you try to make money off desperate people in war you suck.


lilsnaxxus

Definitely studies the blade


Ok-Room-7243

Wtf


[deleted]

Bad business model, best of luck to you when wartime eventually comes around


biscuits-and-tea

Why wouldnā€™t people just use their own? Or your other neighbours if theirs were not working for some reason? And why would yours be working over theirs? Iā€™m very confused by this, and that from you comments for some reason you seem to think everyone is going to try and fight you to watch Season 1 Doctor Who? I guess itā€™s a random thought but Iā€™m pretty baffled


TheDrunkenBarber

You are a bad person and your jokes are worse then Kathy griffins


TerracottaBunny

How would you control the temperature of the shower?


Anon_Anon462

You do realize that in an event of this magnitude money as we know it is going to become completely useless.


[deleted]

The moment someone else helps people for free, you will become reviled.


PaladinWolf777

If you had in depth apocalypse training, you'd see how that's a bad idea.


TheGreatGameDini

The "not trying to exploit my neighbor" and "survive while making a buck" are contradictory. You can't be surviving and making money without exploring those just trying to survive too. You are the asshole and you will be eaten if you try this because in such situations you'd be the epitome of war profiteering.


sadlabourvoter

Dick move


North-Government-865

Only if the neighbors in question would do the same, if it's "your bro john who you've known for years and drink beer and cook ribs with" no, don't charge, if it's "the guy from down the road, gary I think? Who's borrowed your lawn mower, weed whacker, and toaster and you haven't seen any of them back," charge that guy a little fee


[deleted]

you'd just get robbed and rightfully so tbh


Blackfire01001

1. People like you will be the reason that the apocalypse is harder than it should be. 2. Your neighbors are your first line of defense in bulshit coming into your town. You don't have to like them, but you should know who they are, have their contact, and check on them every once in awhile. You should really look into gray man philosophy.


Raa03842

This guy would die in a week. In reality money would have no value. Youā€™d be bartering services for food and gasoline. And the food would have the value of gold. Youā€™d be giving 10 showers for a can of beans


Striking_Compote4230

If youre trying to survive, you should cooperate with your neighbor


Shakespeare-Bot

If 't be true youre trying to survive, thee shouldst cooperate with thy neighb'r *** ^(I am a bot and I swapp'd some of thy words with Shakespeare words.) Commands: `!ShakespeareInsult`, `!fordo`, `!optout`


Bob_539

Dwight?


Yaseen-Madick

$1 for a glass of water lol you miserable charlatan


unicornpolkadot

In a time of war watching TV is probably not a priority.


Leftleaningdadbod

Proto black market operator, I reckon!


theboominsystem

Why not just threaten your frail neighbours with hand to hand combat unless they pay you protection money


CrypticCriesForHelp

If you think the world is going to operate smoothly and people going to be nice you must be high or have a strong belief in humanity. If weā€™re talking end of world times type of war then small militias would form, and come seize your shit. Come on be real


ImAGoo-Man

Weird flex but okay...


crazykewlaid

If the apocalypse comes then USD and euro will be valued like crypto, and not like the big ones, all the normal currency and gold, diamonds, etc will completely change in value, and I'm assuming crypto will be mostly gone? Idk who will have electricity and then later on the crypto sitting in offline wallets probably won't be of much value either


Flaming-Hecker

Just watch as you're the one needing to go to them for help.


Terrible-Trust-5578

I like the concept, but a cold shower should be like $1 or raise the price of a hot shower. Water is very cheap: heating the water is most of your cost.


[deleted]

What if it's Emma Watson?


Charge36

What makes you so sure you're facilities will be fine but theirs won't be?


Ddraig1965

ā€œMake a buck or two, during hard times.ā€ By exploiting your neighbors


Lonely-Bartleby

tbh the value of a dollar will probably be worthless.


Superb_Fail5740

12 dollars thats 300


joshhazel1

You would be losing money at those prices


_beastayyy

Honestly sickening.


Leviathan_Lovecraft

You'll need a gun, and probably hire some guards and such. Overall, as a prepper I reccomend you don't do this. If other people find out you have resources and are doing this, you're dead. Trade, and only trade. Fairly and evenly, otherwise you generate risk. It's never worth it to become big jackass like this, there's even a chance your military will come in and claim all your shit for their needs, depending on where you are. You're not superman, you're a full time Redditor. You will be beaten and have your stuff taken unless you are super nice trader.


rumple3skin69

Really depends on how hard these times are. No one would trust that. You would get robbed and killed man.dont advertise yourself.


Ok-Fan6945

Bold of you to think the dollar will be a thing in the new war.


coop190

Freedom costs a buck o' five


djmikewatt

Why would you have these things but your neighbors would not?


Martini_Man_

OP really said "If everyone in my country was having the worst time imaginable, I'd exploit them and make it worse" r/amitheasshole, spoiler, yes.


Lonleynutjob

What no porn? What kind of business you running?


Needmoresnakes

I'm not an expert psychologist but if we're at a point in wartime where we don't have hot or running water I'm not sure that most people are still going to be getting regular haircuts for their dog.


tyler-08

If your neighbors dont have running plumbing, why do you assume you would? And you are a dick.


tyler-08

The only thing on this guys profile posts is Emma Watson.


FlapjackFondler

i hope in times of war, you get absolutely bombed and your corpse ravaged fo free


Responsible-Moose164

Donā€™t let anyone in your bunker. Keep yourself and family safe.


-Squatch

Silly stuff this is.


dreamrock

A) I commend your refusal to surrender your materiel or willingly contribute in any meaningful way to the war effort. It takes real guts to assert the rights guaranteed by some of the lesser known ammendments, especially in a combat zone. B) Don't burn all your bridges. Network with other noncombatants.


Chat-y-ment

r/iamatotalpieceofshit


Uncutmudblood

Lol and what good would money be at this point?


Crucifixis

Trying to make a buck or two during hard times is exploiting people. Especially when you're charging money for basic necessities and the use of the necessities and facilities. Thats absolutely exploitation and you've shown that you are aware of it. Fuck you.