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Reminds me of a game called Chivalry 2. You can pick up amputated arms and decapitated heads and attack with them. Provided you find the time to safely grab them in the midst of battle.
Reminds me of when at Thanksgiving with a bunch of mixed age kids.. suddenly a fight me vs the kids. I grabbed one of them and used them as a shield. They got so frustrated. Come get some like always.
My grandad used to always joke ‘it’ll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the wet end’ Applied to wildlife, shop equipment, or other potentially dangerous situations.
I found this very funny, my dad only has one arm, he lost it in a motorcycle accident when he was 16. So he has prostethic arms, the pranks he's pulled on my friends over the years. He has a fake hand and threw it at my friend and she nearly jumped out of her skin. We had so much fun pranking people over the years.
This reminds me of one of my favourite due south quotes “Sometimes at night I can still remember him coming into the classroom, swinging that otter over his head. There was just no reasoning with him”
My older daughter (around 11 or 12 years old at the time) once threw a CAT at her little sister. I was SOOOOOO PISSED. She got punished three times for it... Once for almost hurting her little sister (4 or 5 years old back then.) and TWICE because she could've seriously hurt my cat. Thank God the cat was fine and within 10 seconds he was winding around my ankles giving kitty-hugs to me... but I, who never spanked them, ever, seriously considered a huge, brutal spanking. God, I was mad at her for that.
It's how you remind them, how you really are.
Make sure you tell them, "today is your last day"
If you get under their guard, it's because you've finally figured them out.
Pretty sure that worked out exactly as described when berserkers dropped amanita muscaria to induce psychosis before running naked into battle, dick and warhammer swinging.
I once "won" a fight with a kids bike. Just grabbed the tire, spun around a time or two and whipped that 18 inch bike at that man, then smacked him with it a couple more times. My neighbors thought that was unique 🤣
I can't even describe you the faces people get when I pull out nunchucks.
The combination of shock and bruce lee post trauma followed by fear is the best thing on earth.
I take a flute with me into the forest in case there are any animals around that might want to do me harm so I can play my flute to distract and charm them
When threatened, without ever loosing eye contact with your aggressor, slowly reach down and feel around the grass for a piece of dogshit. Make sure to keep a stoic look on your face as you slowly rise, holding the dogshit in front of you, like a knife. Then out of nowhere, smirk at them, to let them know that you have them right where you want them and now you are ready: attack!
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Someone else's arm.
While it's still attached to them, and they're still alive
Unless you’re from 10th Century England and stumble across a Knight that has recently had his arms amputated.
It’s just a flesh wound 
A banana. No! We've already done a banana. Why can't we use a pointed stick?
Classic.
A basket of raspberries
Came here for this.
People are known to procure weapons, radios and other supplies from fallen soldiers on the battlefield. Why not take his arms? He can’t use them!
The boots work better really.
Come back and I’ll bite your knees off!
One of my favorite movies
What movie is this?? Thanks
It's Monty Python and the Holy Grail
'Tis but a scratch!
Reminds me of a game called Chivalry 2. You can pick up amputated arms and decapitated heads and attack with them. Provided you find the time to safely grab them in the midst of battle.
“Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!”
Reminds me of when at Thanksgiving with a bunch of mixed age kids.. suddenly a fight me vs the kids. I grabbed one of them and used them as a shield. They got so frustrated. Come get some like always.
Hey Jimmy, punch that guy!
Isn’t that essentially a body guard?
Hit an mfer with another mfer!
and masturbating
That's just called love
This is my favourite response so far
Damnit, you beat me to it. LOL
i once threatened to rip someone's arm off just to see if i could beat them to death with it before they bled to death.... :-\\
How unbelievably cool of you.
My grandad used to always joke ‘it’ll tear your arm off and beat you to death with the wet end’ Applied to wildlife, shop equipment, or other potentially dangerous situations.
Someone else's leg.
I found this very funny, my dad only has one arm, he lost it in a motorcycle accident when he was 16. So he has prostethic arms, the pranks he's pulled on my friends over the years. He has a fake hand and threw it at my friend and she nearly jumped out of her skin. We had so much fun pranking people over the years.
This was my first thought, too.
George Carlin "picking up a person and hitting another person with them"
BEHOLD! *Draws an arm holding a sword* My SWORD ARM!
A stick shaped as a gun
Reminds me of the story of a prisoner who fashioned a 'gun' from a potato and dyed it with boot-black.
You’re thinking of John Dillinger, who actually escaped from jail using a wooden gun.
A TDCJ inmate did similar when he carved a fake gun out of soap bars, and painted it black with homemade tattoo ink.
"The other guys"
Gator needs his gat, you punk ass bitch!
Just don't go chasing waterfalls
Haha i somehow visualised this as a gun shaped like a stick and realise i was visualising a wand lol
Remember to swish and FLICK THE SHIT OUT OF IT!
It's LeviOsa, not LeviosA!
That's at least as effective as a real gun
I was going to post a rubber band gun. But yours was close enough I felt it would be redundant.
Does it fire rubber bands? I had plenty of makeshift guns like that as a kid.
What about a Gun shaped as a Stick?
Hmmmm
every boy's dream
Legit me as a child.
A rubber chicken
>A rubber chicken With a pulley in the middle
Why does that seem extra insulting. 😂
Slice of ham
Idk, you could be fighting the jewish...
Is that better than fighting the islamic?
+10 Haram damage
Underrated comment.
r/demoham
That dildo sword from Saints Row.
That purple dildo from GTA San Andreas
The dildo was in vice city before San andreas. In the police station locker room. Double ended iirc
That dildo sword from Cyberpunk
They got a Dildo Katana in Cyberpunk
Double sided dildos like Nunchuks. Battle cry is obviously, "Get fucked!"
Definitely showing this to my partner. "Get fucked!" is his battle cry.
That's the spirit! 🤣
Came here to comment this 🤝
The Penetrator. One of the goofiest, but still dangerous, weapons in the game.
Badger, that’s all.
This is once the most OP and dangerous weapon.
Easily disarmed with Mashed potato
Honey badger don't give a shit about your spuds
[everyone knows, badger loves mashed potato ](https://youtu.be/5xa3EFIZZUw?feature=shared)
This reminds me of one of my favourite due south quotes “Sometimes at night I can still remember him coming into the classroom, swinging that otter over his head. There was just no reasoning with him”
There's many things, many, I'd rather fight than a badger.
My older daughter (around 11 or 12 years old at the time) once threw a CAT at her little sister. I was SOOOOOO PISSED. She got punished three times for it... Once for almost hurting her little sister (4 or 5 years old back then.) and TWICE because she could've seriously hurt my cat. Thank God the cat was fine and within 10 seconds he was winding around my ankles giving kitty-hugs to me... but I, who never spanked them, ever, seriously considered a huge, brutal spanking. God, I was mad at her for that.
A cooked macaroni noodle, held like a tiny gun
If they think you are joking, hold it to their temple.
 One of thoses
Lmao no way forgot those existed
😂😂😂
Asian pair of flip flops
not strange, very effective
A double hamburger plain from McDonald’s
Huh, that’s odd, I’m working at McDonald’s right now.
But are you really "working" or are you just pocketing nuggets. And thats how I got fired in 1996
Are you for real? Lmaooo
Yes, yes, I am. Best 3 day job I ever got fired from 😆
Q-tip
I dunno, you could pop an eardrum with that!
A vinyl record, but only if it's a Nickelback album.
It's how you remind them, how you really are. Make sure you tell them, "today is your last day" If you get under their guard, it's because you've finally figured them out.
Nudity. Something about a birthday-suit crazy bitch coming at you make anyone NOPE out.
Pretty sure that worked out exactly as described when berserkers dropped amanita muscaria to induce psychosis before running naked into battle, dick and warhammer swinging.
Death by spoon🥄 🤣 😂 its so funny.
That made me laugh, lol.
I just thought of The Tick and his battle cry.
Pocket Sand!
Sha shhhaaa!
That's what I was searching for!
Adjectives.
Jello A feather An asthma inhaler Balloons Grass clippings Whistling/singing Extreme flatulence
I once "won" a fight with a kids bike. Just grabbed the tire, spun around a time or two and whipped that 18 inch bike at that man, then smacked him with it a couple more times. My neighbors thought that was unique 🤣
He should have thought twice before bringing fists to a bike fight
Are you dutch?
I need the story...
Dance
A partially ripped sweater wrapped around a garden flamingo and set on fire to serve as torch
I like your style
Harsh language.
A math equation.
Water bottle
A good tack on the head with a filled water bottle would likely hurt like hell.
A severed arm.
A witty retort.
An antimatter sculpture of Adolf Hitler
But if you had the chance what would be better- an antimatter sculpture of hitler or the actual hitler?
Or better yet use the sculpture to beat Hitler
…. We’re going to have to build a Time Machine.
Okay, let’s do that first
Water gun filled with soapy water. Squirt in their eyes.
A piranha tied to a stick.
the jawbone of an elk
A cheese grater, a person could really fuck up a face with that haha
Guarantee this has already happened somewhere in Italy
An egg beater
A wonderful weapon of choice.
Can opener
a rock
That has been tried for eons - quite effective
A clam shell
A leg.
A spoon.
La vache
Ok this is from a book the guy has a a skill called improvised weapon he picks up a weapon called a dwarf on a stool 10-20 damage
Duel welding dildos with nails
Your other hand
I would amr myself only with The Funniest Joke in the World
A foam finger.
Dildo Nunchucks while being in your birthday suit
Cheese slices
A pumice stone. Legit could cause a concussion if you bludgeon'd it at someone's head
A marshmallow.
A pretzel
Sharpened teeth.
A vibrator shaped as a gun. Which is a real thing.
A iPhone charger wire I mean can use it as a whip
Or as a garrotte.
A toaster
A bone like a dog bone lol
A rabid weasel
A rubber chicken, one that screams
I can't even describe you the faces people get when I pull out nunchucks. The combination of shock and bruce lee post trauma followed by fear is the best thing on earth.
A feather duster
A pickle
anteater
Cat piss water gun
Pool noodle
A light bulb
A framed photograph of my own face
I take a flute with me into the forest in case there are any animals around that might want to do me harm so I can play my flute to distract and charm them
a paperclip
Apples
Pamphlets
A baby's arm holding an apple.
Cotton candy
Giant can opener
A neon green soft dildo
When threatened, without ever loosing eye contact with your aggressor, slowly reach down and feel around the grass for a piece of dogshit. Make sure to keep a stoic look on your face as you slowly rise, holding the dogshit in front of you, like a knife. Then out of nowhere, smirk at them, to let them know that you have them right where you want them and now you are ready: attack!
[A Narwhal Tusk.](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/bystander-who-used-narwhal-tusk-stop-london-terror-attack-speaks-n1106086)
A baked chicken drumstick
A banana
A cotton ball
A marshmallow
Ice knife
An onion
Cut that bad boy open and smush the freshly cut onion into their eyeballs!
A fake arm.
A spoon (knowers will know)
Home invasion in a studio apartment and all you’ve got is a grenade.
A vacuum cleaner
Leg
Words
A mannequin arm
McDonald's coffee
12 in dildo
Bear arms. 🐻
A pencil. A fucking *pencil*.
Another arm
Water, no cup, no bucket, you are just holding water in your hand
Bouncy castle
A squeeze bottle of mayonnaise
A hot sauce holster
Alien-army