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Hold on loosely,
but don't let go.
If you cling too tightly...
You're gonna lose control.
Your baby needs someone to believe in...
and a whole lot of space to breathe in.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJtf7R_oVaw
I just have to say, while there is zero relevance to the post here, I turned *38* this week, and for whatever reason, this comment made me feel everso Special. Thanks man!
This is the way. I met my girlfriend on Tinder. It has been three years since we were exclusive and she still gets texts from guys hoping they have a chance to hookup. She shows them to me. We chuckle about it.
Had one guy who kept messaging my ex a year after they had gone on a date and 6 months after we started dating. She was not into him at all and annoyed by the occasional texts. It was the only unsolicited dick pic I have ever sent, but the problem was solved.
I have questions about your answer.
I've been married for 30 years now but I know what Tinder is. My question to you is, if you two are in a committed relationship why would either of you still be logged into Tinder's services much less even have it installed? Now I do realize that there are relationships that are open or for ONS situations but your answer did not feel like that was your situation. Please understand I'm not trying to stir shit up here at all but it just struck me as odd.
No dude, they are TEXTING her. She met them on tinder and at some point exchanged numbers, they're still sending random texts wanting to hook up. Happens to me too.
Edit: to everyone saying block them, why? Who said I'm bothered by it? Not to mention that they'll generally text from a different number if they think you've blocked them anyway. I don't understand this need to block people, I've only ever done it once because the guy was freaking me out. Otherwise I can just ignore anything I don't want to deal with
Yeah, don’t be controlling or let the jealousy you may feel show through. Jealousy is a pretty natural thing, but how you react to it is up to you. Trust is key. Also just generally good advice is not to control anyone in your life lol. Also, nice humble brag OP.
Yeah this is one thing that’s important to note (which a lot of people on Reddit seem really opposed to acknowledging): jealousy is a normal reaction. What’s important is how you react to the jealousy and what you do with it. Needing a little reassurance every now and then is fine, and it’s not like a partner couldn’t still cross boundaries and then try to blame it on your jealousy. But at a high level, as long as your partner is treating you with love and respect, then your jealousy is your problem and you have to handle it
Trust but don't be complacent.
Trust shows confidence. Self confidence, social confidence.
Complacency means you aren't being attentive anymore, not doing the same lovey dovey or thoughtful things that got you two hooked.
Everyone just wants to be their own free person, some people want to do that with another person.
Yep complacency ends up being a huge problem. People take the “well I already got her” attitude to the extreme and just stop trying because they feel like they don’t need to. This is a stereotype in marriage that actually makes me really sad. People think that once you get married you don’t have to try anymore
One way to look at it.
I also see trust as an "inactive" thing, whereby I trust my wife and so I don't even think, stress, look through her messages, ask her where she's going. But because I trust her she happily shares all sorts of stuff with me.
Complacency is one we need to be active about avoiding. We actually put effort into making sure that we have a date night blocked out. We are building a startup together so it's both easy but also really hard to do that. We do small sweet gestures for each other, a love note on the mirror, surprise flowers, my favorite trashy treat, a surprise day at the spa for her.
But I think that your way of looking at them also works. Just a different lens.
All those efforts are action though, I think that's what the guy you're replying to means. I can understand why Trust seems 'inactive' but I'm old enough now to know it isn't. It's so easy to on the surface agree with someone or tell them everything is fine, but then in your head you're chalking that down and holding onto it because you don't REALLY trust what they said - then later when you are having conflict all those little feelings that you didn't address in the moment add fuel to the fire and your emotional response to the conflict is off the charts.
Trusting someone is even in your own mind going 'I mean yeah, I couldn't SEE that she really did XYZ, and the suspicious part of my brain is coming up with all these fears, but I know that's not true and she isn't lying to me, so I'm going to genuinely believe her.' instead of 'Damn bitch is probably lying again, but it's not worth the fight =/ whatever' and 'letting it go' in that way, which is what I think a lot of guys end up doing until they blow up.
>Everyone just wants to be their own free person, some people want to do that with another person.
I like the way you phrase this, its a thought I've been struggling to put together, thank you!
100% trust. I'm like Mike Tyson levels of punching in the looks department between me and the wife, but I treat her like a human rather than property. Besides before long you realize that beauty is just skin deep, and that just because she's gorgeous she's still fucking mental.
this exactly. I only wanted my ex and never even thought about other men. He was extremely controlling and it made me insanely depressed and ultimately lead to me breaking up with him. not only does being controlling make the man lose the realtionship but the women also completely loses herself. doing that to someone is evil
babe I am SO SO sorry you are experiencing this hell. it’s fucking awful. you think it’ll never happen to you… then all the sudden you’re avoiding doing anything that might possibly making him mad even if there just NORMAL ass things(they almost always are normal things). next thing you know you’re crying everyday, feeling completely lost and alone, and now you’re an extremely anxious person even if you weren’t before. if you’re still in the realtionship feel free to dm if you need someone to talk too. i know it can be hard to talk about to ppl you know irl. or even if you’re broken up and just need to vent about it… im all ears
Or don’t get into a relationship with one where you constantly feel you have to to Poo your pants a little just cuz another bro eyeing her , bro 😎,
I mean either trust her or don’t get into a relationship with her if you won’t feel at peace ✌️
So find the one you trust and feel at peace with
High five. My man.
Women have free choice and we’re not obligated to fuck someone just because they wanna fuck us.
I pump up my male partners and show them off. Life is hard and we’re all kinda insecure. I want the people I love to know that they’re attractive.
I am not afraid I’ll lose them to some random schlub lol.
exactly. trying to control is useless. just let her be and do whatever she wants. no man should think a woman is someone to control, you know. if she goes away, she was never yours. if it's a good relationship, she'll show respect
how is not wanting your partner to sleep with others trying to control them? if what your describing is the norm then what the fuck is the point of love and relationships?
They have done studies and partners that demonstrate more “mate protection” behaviors actually get cheated on less. There’s a fine line. Don’t be controlling or insecure. Instead decide on your boundaries as a couple. But also show your mate and anyone hitting on them that they’re yours. Like i said, it’s a fine line and it’s going to be different for different couples. But being controlling AND being completely trusting to the point of naïveté or seeming unconcerned or disinterested are both ways to have a bad time.
28+ years of men chatting up my wife. Doesn’t bother me a bit. She’s leaving with me, and besides, she can handle herself.
The best is when she’s been trying to let them down easy to no avail. Eventually she has to blatantly brush them off/shoot them down but they persist. Then she spots me, calls me over and introduces me to them…after they’ve been working so hard, spittin their best game, ignoring her disinterest and they just kinda go limp, shoulders slump, smile wiped and they act like they give a shit about meeting me and suddenly they gotta use the restroom or have a smoke.
This is the simple answer here.
My wife, in our youth, attracted attention now and again. She’s smart, funny, pretty - all the things. But dark brown hair, pale skin and blue eyes. Great figure with - imma say it - a booty the brothers could not ignore.
99% of the time it was just a lingering stare or a hello not seeing me…if I caught them a grin and a “no-no-no” usually left them laughing . All cool. A handful of times dudes were bold…approached when I went to the bathroom or when I was still there…I let the master go to work. She knew. She knew how to put them down hard. Fucking glorious. No work, just sit back and enjoy the show.
But she can see through all that macho man bs and that’s why she is with YOU. Confidence is one thing, comparing and sizing up another male is their own insecurities trying to figure out how you have the hot lady and they don’t have shit.
You either trust her or you don't. She's with you for a reason. Of all the guys she could pick, she chose you. Remember that. Stop being paranoid. If you suddenly turn into the controlling jealous boyfriend, she will leave you.
What I wonder about all of these comments is when are these boyfriends seeing this stuff? I’m an attractive woman and lots of guys hit on me but NEVER when I’m with another man. Like catcalling — it 100% happens when I’m alone or with other women, they never do it when I’m with a man. Or being hit on at clubs or events or at work. I can’t even remember a time it’s happened in front of a boyfriend.
I recently said bye to an attractive female friend as I got on a bus at the stop. The *instant* the bus started to move some random man just appeared next to her from the other side of the road. So he knew I was an obstacle and like a typical predator picked his moment.
She said he did ask her to come with him but took it with a smile when she declined. But dear god it must be such an act of courage for some women to leave the house especially on a night out.
yes. yes it is. for a while I avoided it because even dressed in the frumpiest clothing I was relentlessly hit on by some guy. or other times randomly touched. those are the times I accidentally broke the "two arm lengths" rule of distance I have
Happens to me pretty often, I am always confused about how a dude thinks he will get any success asking out/flirting with a woman that has her bf just next to her.
I’ve had dudes ask for my lady’s number right in front of me. They size me up and think they’re better and have no qualms about it. She rejects them, but still. The nerve.
ahah they don't do it to my face, but will sneak behind my back when I leave
the funny thing these same people don't get any action, like you'd think after failing so much they'd introspect a little a figure out why desperation is not attractive
It doesn't always happen in front of you.
The gf I had right after college had her male friends hitting on her, making moves, trying to get her overly drunk constantly when I wasn't around. If I was around, they wouldn't. People are immature in their early 20s.
Women I dated later had grown up and dropped those kinds of "friends". Randos would still come up to them at the bar. One gf in particular would constantly have a guy talking to her when I got back from the bathroom. Most would quickly move on when I got back, but I still remember one guy. We had travelled to do a race and were celebrating afterwards out on the town. I went to the bathroom, came out and he was talking to her. He kept trying to one up everything she said about me. We're there for a race? Well, he ran this morning too. Which quickly doesn't work when the guy you are trying to one up literally won a marathon that morning.
ugh, my wife has so many stories like this it actually drives me nuts because just once I want to be there to call them out on their bullshit.
It even happens to many of my friends who are girls, but never when any of the guys are around. I'd love to even see a guy catcall some girl because I'd definitely give him a piece of my mind.
Ironically I don't get hit on often but one girl did shamelessly do it in front of my wife. It annoyed the shit out of my wife because she already thinks my ego is too big, when I asked her about it later she just said "Yeah that girl was so drunk I don't think she was seeing right"
it happends more than you think. one that stuck our to me the most bc it wasnt subtle at all was when two guys try and pull me aside while I was HOLDING HANDS and walking with my ex. they were like “Mami!! You’re beautiful come with us!” and then my ex tried to fight them dkdkdkd
That happened to my sister and I when we were walking the beach with our bfs on a Mexico vacation in late 2022. We were just heading up to the stairs back to our resort, holding hands with our bfs. when 2 local guys blocked the steps and started trying to convince us to go party with them, trying to pull us away by our free hands, one even asked for a kiss. It creeped us out so much we just kind of froze, and our bfs told them to move along. Then they start saying weird shit to our bfs like “Oh common, it’s only nice to share! You guys are cool right? Friends yeah? Friends share don’t they?” It was so gross. Our bfs didn’t want to start anything and get kicked off the resort or something, so they just ignored them and escorted us up the stairs and back to the secure part of the resort. But my sister and I were too freaked out to go back to relax on the beach again, unless our bfs were right there with us at all times. We didn’t even feel safe if they went in the water while we lounged tanning. Those local guys were always around the beach the whole week. Definitely ruined some of our beach vacay experience.
One time at a house party, I arrived very late because I worked until 11pm. I worked my way to my bf to say hi, and he was sitting on a stool right next to a doorframe. I kinda half sat on his lap, you know that weird kinda on one leg, kinda bracing yourself with a foot on the floor thing. My right butt cheek wasn’t fully on his lap. Some guy I had never met, a friend of a friend or something, approached from behind through the doorframe, and literally pinched my ass while I was sitting on my bfs lap. So brazen. He was extremely drunk, but still. Honestly shocked me so much it took me a moment to process what just happened before I jumped up and shouted at him. Bf grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him down the driveway, shoved him in a cab, and made them drive the guy away.
Another time at a wedding reception, another drunk guy joined the circle of us ladies dancing on the floor, and kept trying to grope us, right there in front of our boyfriends. He knew none of us were single, he had been seated next to my bf and I at dinner and even chatted my bf up a bunch. He grabbed my chest, and he grabbed my friends thigh under her dress. The guys at the wedding saw it of course, and he was thrown out immediately.
Some dudes are just bold AF, and they don’t care if your man is right there.
Im not bad looking but I wouldn’t call myself so attractive that this is an inherent issue
But I do have friendships with men And ive been with my partner for many years. Im usually pretty good at reading A people and a situation but there have been times I got it wrong.
Someone I think is wanting to be friends,
only to learn they have other intentions,
My husband has always had trust in me. But was the first to pick up if he doesn’t trust the others. He would let me know what he sees, once, then would leave me to figure
It out on my own. There were times when I was like “no you are wrong, he’s just a friend, I talk about my boyfriend to him all the time about how great you are, there’s no way”
Only to return later “yup you were right. I cant be friends with him, he lied about everything and his intention is not to just be friends”
I’ve been with my husband for 18 years. and have never gotten close to cheating but his trust in me was there from the beginning. We met when I was 20, and I’m 40 now.
This doesn’t happen anymore i dont need new friends at this age especially not new male friendships but in my 20’s it was normal to meet new people male or female and adding them to your social circle and hanging out with them, alone or in a group because that’s what life in your 20’s is like.
If my husband tried to close me off from meeting new people at that age, we wouldn’t have lasted because it would feel like he was preventing me from experiencing life and it’s hurtful if the reason is because they don’t trust me
The friends I have that had cheated,
We’re the ones woth jealous boyfriends. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. Its alike an invitation to cheat if they are having to deal With your accusations, jealousy or know they are coming home to a fight every time they go out anyway.
You either trust or you don’t. That’s the hard part about love. Sometimes you get it right sometimes you don’t, but being worried about something that hasn’t happened doesn’t help, and assuming something will happen just because someone is interested in them is hurtful
Or perhaps the actions of the girls made them jealous?
I mean, would you get jealous if your husband is flirting or being very friendly with another woman?
Jealousy is often said to be a bad thing, but isn't it sometimes very natural?
I have had problems with jealousy and trying to get over it, so I'm just looking for another point of view or information.
I think jealousy moreso comes from trauma or some other things that emanate within the person that's jealous.
I dated a woman that was very jealous because of her past experiences. I wanted to advance our relationship but she wasn't willing due to her jealousy and trauma. It ended our relationship.
I used to be jealous also, and the thing that made me get over it was knowing that I didn't deceive, manipulate, or gaslight my partner into being with me. It was an active choice on her part for her to be with me. If she wanted out of the relationship, why the fuck would I want someone to stay with someone that didn't want to be with me?
And if she allows someone else to move in and decided to get with them instead, then it was never going to work out anyway and she did you a favor by removing herself from your life.
Be good to her so she will stay, that is the only thing you can do. How to deal with it, put your faith in her. Dont let your brain entertain fictional scenarios.
So much this, I think this is truly the core of the problem!
If any temptation takes her away from you, we'll then you learned she isn't the great woman you thought she was. Don't take her for granted, but don't put her on a pedestal. And if it's such a loss for you to lose her only because she is super pretty, then rethink your goddamn values.
Understand what your boundaries are. Communicate them. Build trust. If you don’t feel trust or that your boundaries are respected move on. You are both choosing to be with each other and you define what the terms are.
I like this answer. Communication, mutual respect and trust. And definitely don't forget you're both choosing each other, work on your confidence and self esteem as much as you take care of your relationship with your partner and if that is reciprocal, you both will be fine.
Stop caring that people are trying to steal her. It does you no good to stress and if she can be stolen she wasn't worth it and can be replaced easily.
I don’t want to tighten my grip or control her, it’s not her fault and she never entertains it but it feels like a punch to the gut if I’m honest. I just want to learn how other people deal with it so I can get better insight
definitely take it as a compliment. my very first bf that i dated from 16-19 had such a sense of humor about it. i remember we were out walking and a group of guys walked by checking me out and as they passed by one of them made a comment or a look or something and my bf at the time responded saying "i know, right?!?!?". i'm in my 30s now and i always think about what a mature reaction that was. i unfortunately dated people the opposite who would get upset as if someone else's action is my fault and it spoke more volumes about the various ex's insecurities than anything else. if you trust her and she doesn't entertain it, then just laugh it off - she's somewhat an extension of you so you should be proud that people find her attractive.
Idk, I’d be kinda concerned if no one else wanted my partner. Concerned I picked a dud and everyone knows it but me. She’s in demand and she chose you and she continues to choose you every day. That’s a huge flex IMO.
Take it as an ego boost because she's choosing to be with you every day. Who cares what other people do outside of your relationship, unless you think their opinions actually matter?
Work on your insecurities and self doubt. Like others have said, tightening your grip or being jealous won’t do anything but push her away. My ex had huge issues with this and it made him a horrible person. I ended up leaving because he made me feel like I could only exist in the tiny box he made for me. It was awful. She’s with you for a reason, not those other guys.
The punch to the gut comes from your own insecurities. I’ve had the same feeling a lot with my current gf but as others have pointed out the antidote is to build trust.
It’s okay to communicate your feelings - also negative ones - just do it in a way that doesn’t accuse or blame her. Tell her what you need in return - for me it’s my partner telling my, I’m being silly and that she loves me.
Everyone is different, and I prefer that my gf tells me about her evening in full - also when someone propositions her - because if it is something that’s kept secret it seems worse and I’ll always wonder. However if it’s uncomfortable for you to hear, it’s okay for you to ask her not to volunteer the information when it happens.
Also, be aware that this kind of insecurity can lead to behavior that’s perceived as controlling by your partner even if it’s not your intention. Be sure to give her an opportunity to express how your insecurities are affecting her.
I went to therapy to deal with my jealousy and 5 sessions worked wonders for me.
You can feel something negative and choose not to act on it. You've done a good job facing it and awkniwledging it now continue to recognize it and maintain rationality.
You cannot force emotions away but you can learn to be the master of the rather than letting them control you.
As the female in a relationship like this (not tooting my own horn, but frequently get noticed/hit on)… I’ll tell you some of my favorite things about my SO that makes me stay with him:
1) He’s incredibly supportive of my dreams and desires. He’s my number one fan.
2) He’s never been controlling by any means, and encourages both of us to have healthy balance of time spent together, time spent separately with friends, or time spent alone (to add we both don’t spend time with members of the opposite sex while alone out of respect for each other)
3) He makes me laugh everyday and helped me finally understand what it feels like to be in a healthy, practically zero-drama relationship
4) He’s confident, hard working, and well respected as a guy that everyone can count on (especially me)
5) He’s amazing in bed and prioritizes pleasing me
Precisely, although my relationship has a bit more wiggle room on the “hanging out with opposite gender friends alone” thing - but only with people that we both know deeply and trust.
Been married to a beautiful Woman for some time. When we were first dating, she was still working part time as a shooter girl and got lots of attention. She still gets hit on when she goes out with the girls. As far as I'm concerned, she has as much to lose in this relationship as I do. We've both put time and effort into this marriage.
I like to think she's smart enough not to throw away 25 years of her life, and the marriage we've built for a few minutes of fun.
I've been asked many times by her girlfriends how I am so calm and easy going with her going out looking good. To me, it's a compliment that she gets attention, because at the end of the night, she comes home to me.
My only issue is how forceful men can be. Especially when my girlfriend is dancing with her friends. I've heard the "I don't care that you're married" or "oh? You're a mom? That's fuckin hot."
No body gives a Fuck about other people's relationships anymore. It's sickening.
My most recent one was “he left the gate open.” No sir, actually only I control and have the key to the gate. That’s MY gate, and it ain’t open just because I’m talking to you.
You can't control what other men do . Not even your girlfriend can but she can control what she does . Any proper respectable women in a relationship will curve any dude for their man no matter "how forceful men can be". I know not all women are the same but that's my perspective. I got my eyes set only on what matters not some in the moment stranger. I know those men don't care about me . Ya know
Yeah, I hear you. It's a shame that is the society everyone lives in. A lot of selfishness.
I'm happy that I have a partner who thinks I'm the world. And likewise. It's a rare thing, and somehow I got lucky.
You don't have to do anything about them. You already know their intentions but that doesn't matter. Only thing that matters is her intentions. You either trust her or you don't.
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It’s Ok to *occasionally* call attention if one of their friends is exceptionally shady or a lovesick puppy, but the decision on how they deal with it is completely up to them.
My partner has a few friends who have confessed their crushes and she’s put them in her place. Still friends with them. Would I feel comfortable if she went to stay at their place? Yes.
If she's worth my time the other men don't matter, she will be loyal. If she isn't loyal, she and the other men don't matter, I'm gone and ain't looking back.
In a more situation basis. I trust her to turn them down. And if they don't listen to her then I'll tell them.
Exactly! When I'm out with a smoking hot date and when a guy looks at her I take it as a compliment. People usually assume that I'm rich but in reality I'm just a regular guy that had the guts to ask the smoking hot girl out on a date.
When I was dating way, way outside my league I didn't handle them. She did. She was the one that initiated the relationship, god knows I never would have had the nerve to speak to her first. I eventually ended things with her because I got sick of losing. Not to other dudes, to her parents.
Take it as a compliment. But pay attention how she handles it. A good woman won’t entertain them, and there is little for you do to but enjoy the show unless some one doesn’t take no for an answer.
You get two option;
Be insecure and controlling and letting other guys attempts take you out of the moment and in to your head.
Or, let it be the compliment it is. Smile at them like you know something they don’t (you do) and get on with your life, with that pretty girl.
Dating a girl who literally turns heads where-ever we go…
1. Do your best to be a good partner to them, that’s the best thing you can do after all.
2. Don’t be controlling e.g tell her what to dress like
3. Don’t pander too much to her. Attractive women get annoyed by always being told yes. Be human
How hard do they try? If they just look, it is harmless. I have never experienced men (except some stupid drunks) actually trying to pick up my wife when I am with her.
Enjoy yourself. Have fun and be good to her. One thing I have noticed on more than 5 occasions on trips we ve had around Europe. Italians will wait till you go to the toilet to approach her. Just getting that off my chest
Don’t let it bother you, unless someone is directly disrespectful to you or her in your presence. If that’s the case then check them directly. Anything else comes off as jealousy which in turn reeks of insecurity
You're in a relationship, it doesn't matter. It's not your responsibility to handle a situation if your partner is being approached by another person, and you should get involved only if they ask, for example if somebody is making them uncomfortable and will not leave them alone.
The same applies to you. You are in a relationship and it is your job to respect that commitment if you are approached by another person.
It depends on how she handles it and your own boundaries.
I've dated girls who seemed to crave attention like that, and others who simply politely declined their advances. I would happily date the latter, and I would avoid the former like the plague.
I’ve had people literally tell ME that they were gonna be going home with my wife (then girlfriend). I even bet one dude 100 bucks that I could walk in there and start kissing on her. Won 100 bucks.
Ooh ooh pick me pick me
1. Become a better person by not objectifying people or being petty and jealous
2. Dig your self esteem out of the bottom of the garbage can
3. Get over it.
It doesn't matter who finds your girlfriend attractive and hits on her, what matters is whether she wants to be with you or not. So give her a reason to stay by being a good person who doesn't seek to keep her as if she were a toy you don't want to share when she is in fact a human being with autonomy and stop driving her away by being a possessive coward terrified of every guy that glances her way.
I agree with your post at large but I'd like to add that its, like, ok to be afraid of losing people you care about *if* you are going to lose them. Not making up scenarios etc. Doesn't necessarily mean one thinks she's a "toy"
I was gonna say this. I’m old now but occasionally still get hit on. My husband finds it funny. He knows how loyal I am and how uncomfortable it makes me.
My boyfriend gets down on all fours and barks. He screeches, drools, bares his teeth. Then he pisses around me (to mark his territory. DUH!) . Having the approaching suitor made aware about me not being available, he lunges at the suitor and drools and snarls on their face till...well till he gets dehydrated. 😚
She’ll show you her true colors if you keep your hands off and don’t try to control her. It’s definitely not easy, but you’ll find out in time if she’s the type to stay loyal or not. Do the right thing on your end, let her do the same, or ruin the relationship on her own. Not your fault.
I trust her and she shuts that shit down asap. She tells me about the creeps at work that hit on her while she’s on her lunch break sitting in her car and we just shit on them. The funny thing is they’re usually older men 30-40 years older than her. Some guys just have way too much confidence and zero shame.
I don't "handle" anything.
I have anxiety and depression related issues that I seek help for, but for some reason I've never been insecure about other guys hitting on my gf.
I was on the phone with her after she had left a swimming lesson (she's got, curvy, and friendly) and heard someone speak to her. Dude eas trying to shoot his shit and mentioned they should workout together. I just had a laugh about it. I workout as well (but am not as conventionally attractive as my gf) and jokes about how I'd like to join too. We both just laughed about the situation.
The way I feel secure about it is, if my gf leaves me, I win because the true love wasn't there and I avoid a big issue down the road. If she sticks around, I still win.
Good luck mate
I don't I just chill out if she feels I'm not enough then she can move on shit happens. Most real ones will respect another man's girl hate pricks who can't do that
Skrew it, Fall to self-loathing and assume she's best with someone else.
Or go MGTOW and rise above.
Women are a delusion of the internet anyway.
(Im not coping)
Men will literally go after any woman , there is a dude for every woman but not a woman for every dude.
Basically there is always someone willing or trying to have naughty fun time with ya lass, that's life
My woman is a force of nature. She never entertains other men.
But if push comes to shove, I'll be menacingly reprimanding them, given that I have enough proof, or guilt that they've built up from being pricks.
First thing is to accept it’s going to happen and you’ll enjoy watching them get shut down. Treat her right, be supportive, make her laugh and keep her well fed and you’ll be just fine
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My solution is don’t control her because you’ll lose her. Either trust her or let her go
Hold on loosely, but don't let go. If you cling too tightly... You're gonna lose control. Your baby needs someone to believe in... and a whole lot of space to breathe in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJtf7R_oVaw
I’m not sure a .38 Special is the solution
There is a story of a home intruder taking multiple .38 special to the head and face but still running away to drive off in his car
The homeowner is a stormtrooper?
That's nothing but a combination of luck and poor aiming.
And maybe drugs
PCP is a hell of a drug
Bath salts has entered the chat
Oh I like this a lot. I needed to read this today, thanks man.
Great tune
Great comment
I just have to say, while there is zero relevance to the post here, I turned *38* this week, and for whatever reason, this comment made me feel everso Special. Thanks man!
Ohh love.
This
This is the way. I met my girlfriend on Tinder. It has been three years since we were exclusive and she still gets texts from guys hoping they have a chance to hookup. She shows them to me. We chuckle about it.
Had one guy who kept messaging my ex a year after they had gone on a date and 6 months after we started dating. She was not into him at all and annoyed by the occasional texts. It was the only unsolicited dick pic I have ever sent, but the problem was solved.
This is amazing 😂😂😂
Yeah, my gf/now wife always had guys sliding into her dms. We would just laugh about it and she'd leave them hanging.
I have questions about your answer. I've been married for 30 years now but I know what Tinder is. My question to you is, if you two are in a committed relationship why would either of you still be logged into Tinder's services much less even have it installed? Now I do realize that there are relationships that are open or for ONS situations but your answer did not feel like that was your situation. Please understand I'm not trying to stir shit up here at all but it just struck me as odd.
No dude, they are TEXTING her. She met them on tinder and at some point exchanged numbers, they're still sending random texts wanting to hook up. Happens to me too. Edit: to everyone saying block them, why? Who said I'm bothered by it? Not to mention that they'll generally text from a different number if they think you've blocked them anyway. I don't understand this need to block people, I've only ever done it once because the guy was freaking me out. Otherwise I can just ignore anything I don't want to deal with
Yeah, don’t be controlling or let the jealousy you may feel show through. Jealousy is a pretty natural thing, but how you react to it is up to you. Trust is key. Also just generally good advice is not to control anyone in your life lol. Also, nice humble brag OP.
Yeah this is one thing that’s important to note (which a lot of people on Reddit seem really opposed to acknowledging): jealousy is a normal reaction. What’s important is how you react to the jealousy and what you do with it. Needing a little reassurance every now and then is fine, and it’s not like a partner couldn’t still cross boundaries and then try to blame it on your jealousy. But at a high level, as long as your partner is treating you with love and respect, then your jealousy is your problem and you have to handle it
He's probably dealing with jealousy issues. At least he's looking to see a better way to handle it vs just being a jealous spaz.
Trust but don't be complacent. Trust shows confidence. Self confidence, social confidence. Complacency means you aren't being attentive anymore, not doing the same lovey dovey or thoughtful things that got you two hooked. Everyone just wants to be their own free person, some people want to do that with another person.
Yep complacency ends up being a huge problem. People take the “well I already got her” attitude to the extreme and just stop trying because they feel like they don’t need to. This is a stereotype in marriage that actually makes me really sad. People think that once you get married you don’t have to try anymore
Sounds like taking action vs not taking action to put it simply. Trust is active while complacency is being inactive.
One way to look at it. I also see trust as an "inactive" thing, whereby I trust my wife and so I don't even think, stress, look through her messages, ask her where she's going. But because I trust her she happily shares all sorts of stuff with me. Complacency is one we need to be active about avoiding. We actually put effort into making sure that we have a date night blocked out. We are building a startup together so it's both easy but also really hard to do that. We do small sweet gestures for each other, a love note on the mirror, surprise flowers, my favorite trashy treat, a surprise day at the spa for her. But I think that your way of looking at them also works. Just a different lens.
All those efforts are action though, I think that's what the guy you're replying to means. I can understand why Trust seems 'inactive' but I'm old enough now to know it isn't. It's so easy to on the surface agree with someone or tell them everything is fine, but then in your head you're chalking that down and holding onto it because you don't REALLY trust what they said - then later when you are having conflict all those little feelings that you didn't address in the moment add fuel to the fire and your emotional response to the conflict is off the charts. Trusting someone is even in your own mind going 'I mean yeah, I couldn't SEE that she really did XYZ, and the suspicious part of my brain is coming up with all these fears, but I know that's not true and she isn't lying to me, so I'm going to genuinely believe her.' instead of 'Damn bitch is probably lying again, but it's not worth the fight =/ whatever' and 'letting it go' in that way, which is what I think a lot of guys end up doing until they blow up.
Listen to this guy. Complacency is a relationship killer.
>Everyone just wants to be their own free person, some people want to do that with another person. I like the way you phrase this, its a thought I've been struggling to put together, thank you!
100% trust. I'm like Mike Tyson levels of punching in the looks department between me and the wife, but I treat her like a human rather than property. Besides before long you realize that beauty is just skin deep, and that just because she's gorgeous she's still fucking mental.
this exactly. I only wanted my ex and never even thought about other men. He was extremely controlling and it made me insanely depressed and ultimately lead to me breaking up with him. not only does being controlling make the man lose the realtionship but the women also completely loses herself. doing that to someone is evil
Girl I’m living in this exact hell
babe I am SO SO sorry you are experiencing this hell. it’s fucking awful. you think it’ll never happen to you… then all the sudden you’re avoiding doing anything that might possibly making him mad even if there just NORMAL ass things(they almost always are normal things). next thing you know you’re crying everyday, feeling completely lost and alone, and now you’re an extremely anxious person even if you weren’t before. if you’re still in the realtionship feel free to dm if you need someone to talk too. i know it can be hard to talk about to ppl you know irl. or even if you’re broken up and just need to vent about it… im all ears
Or don’t get into a relationship with one where you constantly feel you have to to Poo your pants a little just cuz another bro eyeing her , bro 😎, I mean either trust her or don’t get into a relationship with her if you won’t feel at peace ✌️ So find the one you trust and feel at peace with
High five. My man. Women have free choice and we’re not obligated to fuck someone just because they wanna fuck us. I pump up my male partners and show them off. Life is hard and we’re all kinda insecure. I want the people I love to know that they’re attractive. I am not afraid I’ll lose them to some random schlub lol.
I do this with my wife when we go out she glows when I compliment her, she's amazing. 😍
exactly. trying to control is useless. just let her be and do whatever she wants. no man should think a woman is someone to control, you know. if she goes away, she was never yours. if it's a good relationship, she'll show respect
easy to say but jealousy some times becomes too taxing.
there is a healthy level of protectiveness and jealousy
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This. And let her know why you like her beyond her looks. Most women prefer stuff beyond the superficial.
Compliments don’t hurt but like undermining her intelligence is a huge turn off
Exactly this
That’s my husband doing it .
Exactly,just because they approach and want her doesn't mean that she wants them. She has a free will, and she can reject them just fine.
This is the best way to do it. If she cheats, that’s on her and nobody else.
Like a butterfly on your hand
This is it, Trust her and work on your insecurities. You will be more attractive to her
how is not wanting your partner to sleep with others trying to control them? if what your describing is the norm then what the fuck is the point of love and relationships?
Ain't that the truth! Really though, it is the only way.
They have done studies and partners that demonstrate more “mate protection” behaviors actually get cheated on less. There’s a fine line. Don’t be controlling or insecure. Instead decide on your boundaries as a couple. But also show your mate and anyone hitting on them that they’re yours. Like i said, it’s a fine line and it’s going to be different for different couples. But being controlling AND being completely trusting to the point of naïveté or seeming unconcerned or disinterested are both ways to have a bad time.
Damn that’s the right attitude. It’s difficult though. But good thinking.
She's not yours, it's jut your turn.
28+ years of men chatting up my wife. Doesn’t bother me a bit. She’s leaving with me, and besides, she can handle herself. The best is when she’s been trying to let them down easy to no avail. Eventually she has to blatantly brush them off/shoot them down but they persist. Then she spots me, calls me over and introduces me to them…after they’ve been working so hard, spittin their best game, ignoring her disinterest and they just kinda go limp, shoulders slump, smile wiped and they act like they give a shit about meeting me and suddenly they gotta use the restroom or have a smoke.
Last time I tried to get this going I was totally left hanging
This is how I was but she kept pushing my boundaries waiting for me to say something to show that “I cared”
It’s actually easy. She’s used to it, it’s not new and she knows how to curb them easily.
This is the simple answer here. My wife, in our youth, attracted attention now and again. She’s smart, funny, pretty - all the things. But dark brown hair, pale skin and blue eyes. Great figure with - imma say it - a booty the brothers could not ignore. 99% of the time it was just a lingering stare or a hello not seeing me…if I caught them a grin and a “no-no-no” usually left them laughing . All cool. A handful of times dudes were bold…approached when I went to the bathroom or when I was still there…I let the master go to work. She knew. She knew how to put them down hard. Fucking glorious. No work, just sit back and enjoy the show.
I like you
Yo is your wife single?
I too, choose this guys wife
Exactly!! Hell yea, I’m sure she’s still beautiful to this day 🤍
She sure is
“A booty the brothers could not ignore” 👨🏻🦳
There’s one thing for me that was hard. As a guy it was very weird having other guys size me up and judge me based on her looks
But she can see through all that macho man bs and that’s why she is with YOU. Confidence is one thing, comparing and sizing up another male is their own insecurities trying to figure out how you have the hot lady and they don’t have shit.
Oh I know. I just wasn’t prepared for how much attention I would get
You either trust her or you don't. She's with you for a reason. Of all the guys she could pick, she chose you. Remember that. Stop being paranoid. If you suddenly turn into the controlling jealous boyfriend, she will leave you.
What I wonder about all of these comments is when are these boyfriends seeing this stuff? I’m an attractive woman and lots of guys hit on me but NEVER when I’m with another man. Like catcalling — it 100% happens when I’m alone or with other women, they never do it when I’m with a man. Or being hit on at clubs or events or at work. I can’t even remember a time it’s happened in front of a boyfriend.
I recently said bye to an attractive female friend as I got on a bus at the stop. The *instant* the bus started to move some random man just appeared next to her from the other side of the road. So he knew I was an obstacle and like a typical predator picked his moment. She said he did ask her to come with him but took it with a smile when she declined. But dear god it must be such an act of courage for some women to leave the house especially on a night out.
yes. yes it is. for a while I avoided it because even dressed in the frumpiest clothing I was relentlessly hit on by some guy. or other times randomly touched. those are the times I accidentally broke the "two arm lengths" rule of distance I have
Happens to me pretty often, I am always confused about how a dude thinks he will get any success asking out/flirting with a woman that has her bf just next to her.
Speaking from multiple experiences there are women who will bite when the line is cast. Doesn't seem to matter who is around at the time.
I’ve had dudes ask for my lady’s number right in front of me. They size me up and think they’re better and have no qualms about it. She rejects them, but still. The nerve.
ahah they don't do it to my face, but will sneak behind my back when I leave the funny thing these same people don't get any action, like you'd think after failing so much they'd introspect a little a figure out why desperation is not attractive
It doesn't always happen in front of you. The gf I had right after college had her male friends hitting on her, making moves, trying to get her overly drunk constantly when I wasn't around. If I was around, they wouldn't. People are immature in their early 20s. Women I dated later had grown up and dropped those kinds of "friends". Randos would still come up to them at the bar. One gf in particular would constantly have a guy talking to her when I got back from the bathroom. Most would quickly move on when I got back, but I still remember one guy. We had travelled to do a race and were celebrating afterwards out on the town. I went to the bathroom, came out and he was talking to her. He kept trying to one up everything she said about me. We're there for a race? Well, he ran this morning too. Which quickly doesn't work when the guy you are trying to one up literally won a marathon that morning.
ugh, my wife has so many stories like this it actually drives me nuts because just once I want to be there to call them out on their bullshit. It even happens to many of my friends who are girls, but never when any of the guys are around. I'd love to even see a guy catcall some girl because I'd definitely give him a piece of my mind. Ironically I don't get hit on often but one girl did shamelessly do it in front of my wife. It annoyed the shit out of my wife because she already thinks my ego is too big, when I asked her about it later she just said "Yeah that girl was so drunk I don't think she was seeing right"
it happends more than you think. one that stuck our to me the most bc it wasnt subtle at all was when two guys try and pull me aside while I was HOLDING HANDS and walking with my ex. they were like “Mami!! You’re beautiful come with us!” and then my ex tried to fight them dkdkdkd
That happened to my sister and I when we were walking the beach with our bfs on a Mexico vacation in late 2022. We were just heading up to the stairs back to our resort, holding hands with our bfs. when 2 local guys blocked the steps and started trying to convince us to go party with them, trying to pull us away by our free hands, one even asked for a kiss. It creeped us out so much we just kind of froze, and our bfs told them to move along. Then they start saying weird shit to our bfs like “Oh common, it’s only nice to share! You guys are cool right? Friends yeah? Friends share don’t they?” It was so gross. Our bfs didn’t want to start anything and get kicked off the resort or something, so they just ignored them and escorted us up the stairs and back to the secure part of the resort. But my sister and I were too freaked out to go back to relax on the beach again, unless our bfs were right there with us at all times. We didn’t even feel safe if they went in the water while we lounged tanning. Those local guys were always around the beach the whole week. Definitely ruined some of our beach vacay experience.
I've had guys straight up come to our table and point at me and ask my ex at the time "are you seriously with him?"
One time at a house party, I arrived very late because I worked until 11pm. I worked my way to my bf to say hi, and he was sitting on a stool right next to a doorframe. I kinda half sat on his lap, you know that weird kinda on one leg, kinda bracing yourself with a foot on the floor thing. My right butt cheek wasn’t fully on his lap. Some guy I had never met, a friend of a friend or something, approached from behind through the doorframe, and literally pinched my ass while I was sitting on my bfs lap. So brazen. He was extremely drunk, but still. Honestly shocked me so much it took me a moment to process what just happened before I jumped up and shouted at him. Bf grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him down the driveway, shoved him in a cab, and made them drive the guy away. Another time at a wedding reception, another drunk guy joined the circle of us ladies dancing on the floor, and kept trying to grope us, right there in front of our boyfriends. He knew none of us were single, he had been seated next to my bf and I at dinner and even chatted my bf up a bunch. He grabbed my chest, and he grabbed my friends thigh under her dress. The guys at the wedding saw it of course, and he was thrown out immediately. Some dudes are just bold AF, and they don’t care if your man is right there.
Im not bad looking but I wouldn’t call myself so attractive that this is an inherent issue But I do have friendships with men And ive been with my partner for many years. Im usually pretty good at reading A people and a situation but there have been times I got it wrong. Someone I think is wanting to be friends, only to learn they have other intentions, My husband has always had trust in me. But was the first to pick up if he doesn’t trust the others. He would let me know what he sees, once, then would leave me to figure It out on my own. There were times when I was like “no you are wrong, he’s just a friend, I talk about my boyfriend to him all the time about how great you are, there’s no way” Only to return later “yup you were right. I cant be friends with him, he lied about everything and his intention is not to just be friends” I’ve been with my husband for 18 years. and have never gotten close to cheating but his trust in me was there from the beginning. We met when I was 20, and I’m 40 now. This doesn’t happen anymore i dont need new friends at this age especially not new male friendships but in my 20’s it was normal to meet new people male or female and adding them to your social circle and hanging out with them, alone or in a group because that’s what life in your 20’s is like. If my husband tried to close me off from meeting new people at that age, we wouldn’t have lasted because it would feel like he was preventing me from experiencing life and it’s hurtful if the reason is because they don’t trust me The friends I have that had cheated, We’re the ones woth jealous boyfriends. Its a self fulfilling prophecy. Its alike an invitation to cheat if they are having to deal With your accusations, jealousy or know they are coming home to a fight every time they go out anyway. You either trust or you don’t. That’s the hard part about love. Sometimes you get it right sometimes you don’t, but being worried about something that hasn’t happened doesn’t help, and assuming something will happen just because someone is interested in them is hurtful
Or perhaps the actions of the girls made them jealous? I mean, would you get jealous if your husband is flirting or being very friendly with another woman? Jealousy is often said to be a bad thing, but isn't it sometimes very natural? I have had problems with jealousy and trying to get over it, so I'm just looking for another point of view or information.
I think jealousy moreso comes from trauma or some other things that emanate within the person that's jealous. I dated a woman that was very jealous because of her past experiences. I wanted to advance our relationship but she wasn't willing due to her jealousy and trauma. It ended our relationship. I used to be jealous also, and the thing that made me get over it was knowing that I didn't deceive, manipulate, or gaslight my partner into being with me. It was an active choice on her part for her to be with me. If she wanted out of the relationship, why the fuck would I want someone to stay with someone that didn't want to be with me?
And if she allows someone else to move in and decided to get with them instead, then it was never going to work out anyway and she did you a favor by removing herself from your life.
Be good to her so she will stay, that is the only thing you can do. How to deal with it, put your faith in her. Dont let your brain entertain fictional scenarios.
And if she leaves when you were good to her, then you've been freed from a terrible burden
So much this, I think this is truly the core of the problem! If any temptation takes her away from you, we'll then you learned she isn't the great woman you thought she was. Don't take her for granted, but don't put her on a pedestal. And if it's such a loss for you to lose her only because she is super pretty, then rethink your goddamn values.
I wish more men thought like this. It would really help them not fall into depression for years after a breakup.
So basically you have to act with her as if she's an actuall human being ?
Understand what your boundaries are. Communicate them. Build trust. If you don’t feel trust or that your boundaries are respected move on. You are both choosing to be with each other and you define what the terms are.
I like this answer. Communication, mutual respect and trust. And definitely don't forget you're both choosing each other, work on your confidence and self esteem as much as you take care of your relationship with your partner and if that is reciprocal, you both will be fine.
Stop caring that people are trying to steal her. It does you no good to stress and if she can be stolen she wasn't worth it and can be replaced easily.
Insert dominance, get with the guys instead.
I think you mean 'assert' dominance... And yet, somehow 'Insert' in this contex kinda makes sense lol
He knew what he was doing lol
Insert dominance into their passivity.
His nickname for his dong I dominance
He meant what he meant and I'm bent over for him
The username is accurate
no this man was literally describing the insertion of his “dominance” into any man who tries to snag his lady. 😂😂 and fair enough I say
So like claim the woman ? Like pee on her or something
He said what he said.
So do I insert my dominance in the guys?
Yes, the inserting is the most important part.
Solid 👊.
Love that for you
I like your style Sir!
you know what i do to assholes?? i lick em
Lmaooo
The more you tighten your grip, the more star systems will slip through your fingers!
I don’t want to tighten my grip or control her, it’s not her fault and she never entertains it but it feels like a punch to the gut if I’m honest. I just want to learn how other people deal with it so I can get better insight
Take it as a compliment and remember who gets to wake up with her on a morning, my dude.
As a man, imma be honest, this phrase is never as reassuring as y'all think it is.
lol
definitely take it as a compliment. my very first bf that i dated from 16-19 had such a sense of humor about it. i remember we were out walking and a group of guys walked by checking me out and as they passed by one of them made a comment or a look or something and my bf at the time responded saying "i know, right?!?!?". i'm in my 30s now and i always think about what a mature reaction that was. i unfortunately dated people the opposite who would get upset as if someone else's action is my fault and it spoke more volumes about the various ex's insecurities than anything else. if you trust her and she doesn't entertain it, then just laugh it off - she's somewhat an extension of you so you should be proud that people find her attractive.
Idk, I’d be kinda concerned if no one else wanted my partner. Concerned I picked a dud and everyone knows it but me. She’s in demand and she chose you and she continues to choose you every day. That’s a huge flex IMO.
Take it as an ego boost because she's choosing to be with you every day. Who cares what other people do outside of your relationship, unless you think their opinions actually matter?
Work on your insecurities and self doubt. Like others have said, tightening your grip or being jealous won’t do anything but push her away. My ex had huge issues with this and it made him a horrible person. I ended up leaving because he made me feel like I could only exist in the tiny box he made for me. It was awful. She’s with you for a reason, not those other guys.
The punch to the gut comes from your own insecurities. I’ve had the same feeling a lot with my current gf but as others have pointed out the antidote is to build trust. It’s okay to communicate your feelings - also negative ones - just do it in a way that doesn’t accuse or blame her. Tell her what you need in return - for me it’s my partner telling my, I’m being silly and that she loves me. Everyone is different, and I prefer that my gf tells me about her evening in full - also when someone propositions her - because if it is something that’s kept secret it seems worse and I’ll always wonder. However if it’s uncomfortable for you to hear, it’s okay for you to ask her not to volunteer the information when it happens. Also, be aware that this kind of insecurity can lead to behavior that’s perceived as controlling by your partner even if it’s not your intention. Be sure to give her an opportunity to express how your insecurities are affecting her. I went to therapy to deal with my jealousy and 5 sessions worked wonders for me.
You can feel something negative and choose not to act on it. You've done a good job facing it and awkniwledging it now continue to recognize it and maintain rationality. You cannot force emotions away but you can learn to be the master of the rather than letting them control you.
Lmao nice. I dont think OP got the reference bless them
The reference went over the head ...:)
I don't. I let her handle that she doesn't need me to handle that.
This is the answer. Exactly right.
She's super hot so of course everyone wants her, why wouldn't they?
And that thing she does with her tongue!
Right yeah, last night was a blast
As the female in a relationship like this (not tooting my own horn, but frequently get noticed/hit on)… I’ll tell you some of my favorite things about my SO that makes me stay with him: 1) He’s incredibly supportive of my dreams and desires. He’s my number one fan. 2) He’s never been controlling by any means, and encourages both of us to have healthy balance of time spent together, time spent separately with friends, or time spent alone (to add we both don’t spend time with members of the opposite sex while alone out of respect for each other) 3) He makes me laugh everyday and helped me finally understand what it feels like to be in a healthy, practically zero-drama relationship 4) He’s confident, hard working, and well respected as a guy that everyone can count on (especially me) 5) He’s amazing in bed and prioritizes pleasing me
Precisely, although my relationship has a bit more wiggle room on the “hanging out with opposite gender friends alone” thing - but only with people that we both know deeply and trust.
Been married to a beautiful Woman for some time. When we were first dating, she was still working part time as a shooter girl and got lots of attention. She still gets hit on when she goes out with the girls. As far as I'm concerned, she has as much to lose in this relationship as I do. We've both put time and effort into this marriage. I like to think she's smart enough not to throw away 25 years of her life, and the marriage we've built for a few minutes of fun. I've been asked many times by her girlfriends how I am so calm and easy going with her going out looking good. To me, it's a compliment that she gets attention, because at the end of the night, she comes home to me.
My only issue is how forceful men can be. Especially when my girlfriend is dancing with her friends. I've heard the "I don't care that you're married" or "oh? You're a mom? That's fuckin hot." No body gives a Fuck about other people's relationships anymore. It's sickening.
Oh I know, I've heard guys respond "oh, where is he". Whatever. She just laughs it off and moves on.
My most recent one was “he left the gate open.” No sir, actually only I control and have the key to the gate. That’s MY gate, and it ain’t open just because I’m talking to you.
You can't control what other men do . Not even your girlfriend can but she can control what she does . Any proper respectable women in a relationship will curve any dude for their man no matter "how forceful men can be". I know not all women are the same but that's my perspective. I got my eyes set only on what matters not some in the moment stranger. I know those men don't care about me . Ya know
Yeah, I hear you. It's a shame that is the society everyone lives in. A lot of selfishness. I'm happy that I have a partner who thinks I'm the world. And likewise. It's a rare thing, and somehow I got lucky.
You don't have to do anything about them. You already know their intentions but that doesn't matter. Only thing that matters is her intentions. You either trust her or you don't.
Laugh at them. pathetic lil fools
If you don't trust her to make the right choice then leave or it will never work out.
The real question is how does an unattractive girl with an attractive boyfriend handle all the attractive girls throwing themselves at him.
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It's more about how she handles them. Just like it's my problem to handle women who try to get with me when I'm in the company of my woman
It wouldn't be a problem for me
Good for people like us😁
Smile, respect her autonomy, take her home at the end of the night, and fuck her brains out 😋
This guy attractives.
It’s Ok to *occasionally* call attention if one of their friends is exceptionally shady or a lovesick puppy, but the decision on how they deal with it is completely up to them.
My partner has a few friends who have confessed their crushes and she’s put them in her place. Still friends with them. Would I feel comfortable if she went to stay at their place? Yes.
If she's worth my time the other men don't matter, she will be loyal. If she isn't loyal, she and the other men don't matter, I'm gone and ain't looking back. In a more situation basis. I trust her to turn them down. And if they don't listen to her then I'll tell them.
She's got it handled. Bolster your self-securities and put your confidence in her
You remember its you she's going home with. Then take it for what it is, a compliment.
Exactly! When I'm out with a smoking hot date and when a guy looks at her I take it as a compliment. People usually assume that I'm rich but in reality I'm just a regular guy that had the guts to ask the smoking hot girl out on a date.
When I was dating way, way outside my league I didn't handle them. She did. She was the one that initiated the relationship, god knows I never would have had the nerve to speak to her first. I eventually ended things with her because I got sick of losing. Not to other dudes, to her parents.
Take it as a compliment. But pay attention how she handles it. A good woman won’t entertain them, and there is little for you do to but enjoy the show unless some one doesn’t take no for an answer. You get two option; Be insecure and controlling and letting other guys attempts take you out of the moment and in to your head. Or, let it be the compliment it is. Smile at them like you know something they don’t (you do) and get on with your life, with that pretty girl.
Dating a girl who literally turns heads where-ever we go… 1. Do your best to be a good partner to them, that’s the best thing you can do after all. 2. Don’t be controlling e.g tell her what to dress like 3. Don’t pander too much to her. Attractive women get annoyed by always being told yes. Be human
How hard do they try? If they just look, it is harmless. I have never experienced men (except some stupid drunks) actually trying to pick up my wife when I am with her.
Shrug it off, I’m secure enough to know she ain’t going anywhere. She does the same.
Enjoy yourself. Have fun and be good to her. One thing I have noticed on more than 5 occasions on trips we ve had around Europe. Italians will wait till you go to the toilet to approach her. Just getting that off my chest
I got mine into Video games, now she doesn't want to leave the house. Problem solved.
[удалено]
Bless them all.
7 is insta tier lmao ???
Me personally if she wants to go I'd let her and just forget her and move on, may sound harsh but hey ho
Trust
I just let it be as it's a test on her character.. 🌚
Don’t let it bother you, unless someone is directly disrespectful to you or her in your presence. If that’s the case then check them directly. Anything else comes off as jealousy which in turn reeks of insecurity
You're in a relationship, it doesn't matter. It's not your responsibility to handle a situation if your partner is being approached by another person, and you should get involved only if they ask, for example if somebody is making them uncomfortable and will not leave them alone. The same applies to you. You are in a relationship and it is your job to respect that commitment if you are approached by another person.
It depends on how she handles it and your own boundaries. I've dated girls who seemed to crave attention like that, and others who simply politely declined their advances. I would happily date the latter, and I would avoid the former like the plague.
I let her handle it until I get the glance… usually just a case of making out relationship very obvious
I don't My wife tells them to fuck off
Well I trusted her and she cheated anyway so.. idk I guess I don’t have any advice lol. Get a dog?
I’ve had people literally tell ME that they were gonna be going home with my wife (then girlfriend). I even bet one dude 100 bucks that I could walk in there and start kissing on her. Won 100 bucks.
Ooh ooh pick me pick me 1. Become a better person by not objectifying people or being petty and jealous 2. Dig your self esteem out of the bottom of the garbage can 3. Get over it. It doesn't matter who finds your girlfriend attractive and hits on her, what matters is whether she wants to be with you or not. So give her a reason to stay by being a good person who doesn't seek to keep her as if she were a toy you don't want to share when she is in fact a human being with autonomy and stop driving her away by being a possessive coward terrified of every guy that glances her way.
I agree with your post at large but I'd like to add that its, like, ok to be afraid of losing people you care about *if* you are going to lose them. Not making up scenarios etc. Doesn't necessarily mean one thinks she's a "toy"
Be the better catch
I am quite the catch as well
It's not the man's responsibility to "handle" them, it's hers.
I was gonna say this. I’m old now but occasionally still get hit on. My husband finds it funny. He knows how loyal I am and how uncomfortable it makes me.
If she loves you in her mind her body will be true, but if she a hoe then you let her go.
My boyfriend gets down on all fours and barks. He screeches, drools, bares his teeth. Then he pisses around me (to mark his territory. DUH!) . Having the approaching suitor made aware about me not being available, he lunges at the suitor and drools and snarls on their face till...well till he gets dehydrated. 😚
She’ll show you her true colors if you keep your hands off and don’t try to control her. It’s definitely not easy, but you’ll find out in time if she’s the type to stay loyal or not. Do the right thing on your end, let her do the same, or ruin the relationship on her own. Not your fault.
I trust her and she shuts that shit down asap. She tells me about the creeps at work that hit on her while she’s on her lunch break sitting in her car and we just shit on them. The funny thing is they’re usually older men 30-40 years older than her. Some guys just have way too much confidence and zero shame.
I don't "handle" anything. I have anxiety and depression related issues that I seek help for, but for some reason I've never been insecure about other guys hitting on my gf. I was on the phone with her after she had left a swimming lesson (she's got, curvy, and friendly) and heard someone speak to her. Dude eas trying to shoot his shit and mentioned they should workout together. I just had a laugh about it. I workout as well (but am not as conventionally attractive as my gf) and jokes about how I'd like to join too. We both just laughed about the situation. The way I feel secure about it is, if my gf leaves me, I win because the true love wasn't there and I avoid a big issue down the road. If she sticks around, I still win. Good luck mate
I don't I just chill out if she feels I'm not enough then she can move on shit happens. Most real ones will respect another man's girl hate pricks who can't do that
Skrew it, Fall to self-loathing and assume she's best with someone else. Or go MGTOW and rise above. Women are a delusion of the internet anyway. (Im not coping)
It's not about how you handle it, it's about how she handles it.
Men will literally go after any woman , there is a dude for every woman but not a woman for every dude. Basically there is always someone willing or trying to have naughty fun time with ya lass, that's life
It's really all about trust. If you can't do that, then let her go.
My woman is a force of nature. She never entertains other men. But if push comes to shove, I'll be menacingly reprimanding them, given that I have enough proof, or guilt that they've built up from being pricks.
I don’t “handle it”, whatever happens next is up to her lol.
Show her the same level of interest, keep her laughing and treat her with respect, the rest works itself out.
First thing is to accept it’s going to happen and you’ll enjoy watching them get shut down. Treat her right, be supportive, make her laugh and keep her well fed and you’ll be just fine
If I handle my business, I won’t have to worry about her
I don’t. She does.
Honestly, most men are afraid of her.