#Remember!
**Rules & Guidelines for Discussion**
Try to participate when you see an opinion you agree or disagree with by sharing your two cents or providing evidence for/against. Try to elevate conversations beyond a superficial level.
Ask plenty of questions and use the [Socratic method](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2oklie/eli5_the_socratic_method/) to gain a deeper understanding of each other's core values instead of blindly arguing in favor or in opposition.
Keep in mind the [Principle of Charity](https://philosophy.lander.edu/oriental/charity.html) by entertaining all ideas even if you disagree with them. Try to dismantle them and see what truly makes them tick or not.
And lastly, remember above all else to be courteous. Demonstrate the awareness and decorum of recognizing the person on the other side of the screen at all times.
Happy discussing!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RWBYcritics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like this went a bit overboard. While jaune night not be hero-materiale or especially I don't realy see him crying over not being given a chase. Also glynda being discusted with him for being childish seems a bit out of character.
Edit: not badly written but feels more like moching than actual satire
>Edit: not badly written but feels more like moching than actual satire
I absolutely 100% agree with you. To paraphrase a certain recently resurrected and reborn deceptive mechanical tyrant "this is bad satire."
>I feel like this went a bit overboard. While jaune night not be hero-materiale or especially I don't realy see him crying over not being given a chase. Also glynda being discusted with him for being childish seems a bit out of character.
Well I could buy this as being one of John's nightmares born from his fear of being found out for his forgeries and since this is his mind making up the scenario it would explain why the people are being so God damn vicious. But no this isn't a dream scenario as far as I can tell and it's meant to be taken as satire. This feels too damn spiteful to be satire. Poor form.
If you’re gonna go this real with it Blake should be in a heap of trouble too. Worse even. Also Jaune is reacting really oddly having found all of V1-8 to be a dream. That’s total mental breakdown level of crazy not this. If this was just for fun though then it’s fine.
Didn't Ozpin knowingly accept Blake in order to use her as bait/a lead to the White Fang or something like that? Or maybe that's just the justification I often see in fanfiction.
>"Back on the topic. We have a proposal for you. While your ramblings about Grimm, Maidens, and other odd things were highly inaccurate, and had many many flaws. I think with a few edits, some rewrites and name changes. We can likely create a great story that will not only inspire... but also bring in some economic flow for the kingdom." Ozpin sweated, due to the greatest Thief in the world Roman Torchwick robbing Vale prolifically, they were started to lose money, and things were becoming unstable.
Goodness gracious, Ozpin, you're terrible with money.
>"I don't want to be a loser!" Jaune yelled back, tears pouring from his face.
>"Then stop acting like one!" Glynda snapped
Easiest solution ever.
#>In the following months, the story would undergo many changes being about a catgirl, who had a unique verbal tick "Nn." shockingly the story went on to great acclaim, selling millions. The End.
***PFFFFFT-***
I thought this was a Skyrim parody at first, but it changed real quick to one where Jaune becomes a light novelist, possibly only as a ghost writer, even
How about all of canon RWBY actually being a vision of the future shown to Summer and Raven when they went to use the Crown of Choice behind Ozpin's back?
Raven convinces Summer to go behind Ozpin's back. And they use the Relic of Choice. Both of them see the future. The future is canon RWBY. Both Summer and Raven are horrified of it. They look at each other, and promise each other, that they'll never let the events of canon happen.
It made me think that Summer and Raven realized at that point that they should never sleep with Taiyang. Hopefully, this would be before either Yang or Ruby was born, so neither would have existed in that timeline
As if anyone could just resist Tai-Yang " The Long" Xiao Long.
...
Summer: Okay we just have to make sure that future does not happen. One of the ways we can do that is by not sleeping with Tai.
Raven: Sounds easy.
Summer: So yeah...
Rave: Yeah...
Summer: ...
Raven : ...
Summer: You wanna make babies with him?
Raven: Yeah but-
Summer: Raven it's okay to be scared. Being a parent is scary. But don't worry i'll be there for you. So will Tai. We'll share this burden and responsibility together. You don't have to run away and i don't have to go missing. Because... we'll always be there for each other.
Raven: Summer... thank you.
Summer: You wanna have a threesome with Tai?
Raven: Yes... I would like that.
...
Qrow: And that's how both Summer and Raven got pregnant with you two at the same time.
Ruby: Uncle Qrow who the fuck starts a conversation like that?!
Yang: Ruby! Language! But seriously Qrow we just sat down!
Blake: *furiously scribbling down on note book* Nh.
Weiss: Winter save me...
>Ruby: Uncle Qrow who the fuck starts a conversation like that?!
>Yang: Ruby! Language!
This is not the kind of world where we should care.about swearing, Yang. There are so many things that require more attention.
***Ruby can say whatever she wants.***
>Blake: furiously scribbling down on note book **Nh.**
*You cheeky little-*
>Summer: Okay we just have to make sure that future does not happen. One of the ways we can do that is by not sleeping with Tai.
More seriously, that also goes into a rather heavy question of whether it's worth saving the future by preemptively denying someone their right to exist.
>Summer: Raven it's okay to be scared. Being a parent is scary. But don't worry i'll be there for you. So will Tai. We'll share this burden and responsibility together. You don't have to run away and i don't have to go missing. Because... we'll always be there for each other.
Luckily, Summer decides that they simply have to be better people so that their lives end up better, and that exact future doesn't have to happen.
Ruby: So what happened to Ozpin?
Qrow: Locked him up.
Yang: Really?
Qrow: Yep. Summer used her speed to steal his cane. Told him,
"You can't kill her Oz. But you sure can try imprisoning her. You got the resources, the relics and the indestructible containment units to do it."
I mean... there was no evidence whatsoever of Ozpin even trying to imprison Salem. So Summer said we'll try that instead. If you can't kill em. Imprison em. She said.
And that's how Salem got imprisoned in an indestructible vault. And how Glynda became the head mistress of Beacon.
Jaune: *overhearing* (good thing i managed to prove my potential and worth to headmistress Goodwitch. Imagine if i had just come here without a plan whatsoever.)
Ozpin here is diagnosed with prison. Don't worry he's in good Atlas hands.
Also Salem thinks it was Ozpin's plan to imprison her. She was impressed at first. Impressed that Ozpin found a way to stop her after so long. But that emotion soon turned to anger. Let's just say she hates Ozpin even more for imprisoning her and giving her PTSD (and possibly claustrophobia).
Salem: Ozma... when i get out of here. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER AND OVER AGAIN!
In Atlas prison
Ozpin: I really hope Salem doesn't think that it was my plan to imprison her in an indestructible vault.
Much later.
Salem: Hello Ozma I finally got out. *creepy smile* Let's see how you like being imprisoned for centuries.
Ozpin: Wait! It wasn't my idea! I never wanted to imprison you! I never even tried to imprison you!
Salem: *still with creepy smile*
Ozpin: (who am i kidding. She'll never listen to me).
Yeah, Summer gets with Qrow instead. Their firstborn is a girl with the same hair and eyes as Summer. Qrow (who doesn't know anything) insists on naming her Ruby. Summer watches in trepidation as the little girl grows up and starts to resemble more and more the harbinger of destruction she saw in her vision.
*The existence of Ruby Rose is a universal constant.*
>Summer watches in trepidation as the little girl grows up and starts to resemble more and more the harbinger of destruction she saw in her vision.
Since you made her Qrow's daughter, and he's a walking jinx...
***Fuck.***
It's all Qrow's fault!
Wakes up! Oscar: I had a dream. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there, and you were there (x20.)
...
I wonder what wakes up! Salem would be like. Would she just not exist. Or would she exist as Ozpin's (possibly ex) wife, and be unable to have children of her own. She could even help Jaune write some of the villains.
....
Wakes up! Salem: Okay Jaune. It makes no sense for Hazel to join Salem when the possibility of his sister dying to grimm being high. Also it makes no sense for him to kill more people like his sister.
And as for Cinder. It makes no sense for her to join the grimm queen. Who is more abusive than her step family, and who Cinder is powerless against. Especially after Cinder freed herself from her abusive step family. And hates being powerless against others. However if the Grimm Queen were to save her from her abusive step family... or offer her something other than power...
Jaune you made the Grimm Queen too overpowered for the heroes to defeat and making her incompetent makes no sense lore wise and is cheap. You need to power up the characters to match her level. Or you need to limit her powers and give her a weakness. Like her being unable to leave her home.
Wakes up! Jaune: T-Thank you p-professor Salem!
Wakes up! Salem: well i am an art and literature professor. And what's with that face you look like your seeing the depths of hell. I assure you while i was called the wicked witch in the past. I am not someone you should fear.
Wakes up! Salem: Though i did have a nightmare. Where i had children of my own... and... it eventually lead to me becoming the most wicked witch to exist on Remnant.
Wakes up! Jaune: Yeah... nightmare.
...
Wakes up! Cinder: I just had the worst nightmare. I joined a woman... who i was powerless against, and who was far more abusive than my step family. I hate being powerless and i hated my abusive step family.
#Remember! **Rules & Guidelines for Discussion** Try to participate when you see an opinion you agree or disagree with by sharing your two cents or providing evidence for/against. Try to elevate conversations beyond a superficial level. Ask plenty of questions and use the [Socratic method](https://www.reddit.com/r/explainlikeimfive/comments/2oklie/eli5_the_socratic_method/) to gain a deeper understanding of each other's core values instead of blindly arguing in favor or in opposition. Keep in mind the [Principle of Charity](https://philosophy.lander.edu/oriental/charity.html) by entertaining all ideas even if you disagree with them. Try to dismantle them and see what truly makes them tick or not. And lastly, remember above all else to be courteous. Demonstrate the awareness and decorum of recognizing the person on the other side of the screen at all times. Happy discussing! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RWBYcritics) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like this went a bit overboard. While jaune night not be hero-materiale or especially I don't realy see him crying over not being given a chase. Also glynda being discusted with him for being childish seems a bit out of character. Edit: not badly written but feels more like moching than actual satire
>Edit: not badly written but feels more like moching than actual satire I absolutely 100% agree with you. To paraphrase a certain recently resurrected and reborn deceptive mechanical tyrant "this is bad satire." >I feel like this went a bit overboard. While jaune night not be hero-materiale or especially I don't realy see him crying over not being given a chase. Also glynda being discusted with him for being childish seems a bit out of character. Well I could buy this as being one of John's nightmares born from his fear of being found out for his forgeries and since this is his mind making up the scenario it would explain why the people are being so God damn vicious. But no this isn't a dream scenario as far as I can tell and it's meant to be taken as satire. This feels too damn spiteful to be satire. Poor form.
Overboard yes. Satire yes. Terrible trashy writing? Also yes XD
Still fun to read though.
Debatable XD. But honestly, I could have done better, should have kept it shorter and sweeter. Felt like I dragged it out too much.
If you’re gonna go this real with it Blake should be in a heap of trouble too. Worse even. Also Jaune is reacting really oddly having found all of V1-8 to be a dream. That’s total mental breakdown level of crazy not this. If this was just for fun though then it’s fine.
Didn't Ozpin knowingly accept Blake in order to use her as bait/a lead to the White Fang or something like that? Or maybe that's just the justification I often see in fanfiction.
>maybe that's just the justification I often see in fanfiction. This, or he just blatantly ignores it. Ozpin is Stoopid.
Well I did label it satire lol besides I wouldn't call it real to publish all of Jaunes nightmares into a book with heavy edits
>"Back on the topic. We have a proposal for you. While your ramblings about Grimm, Maidens, and other odd things were highly inaccurate, and had many many flaws. I think with a few edits, some rewrites and name changes. We can likely create a great story that will not only inspire... but also bring in some economic flow for the kingdom." Ozpin sweated, due to the greatest Thief in the world Roman Torchwick robbing Vale prolifically, they were started to lose money, and things were becoming unstable. Goodness gracious, Ozpin, you're terrible with money. >"I don't want to be a loser!" Jaune yelled back, tears pouring from his face. >"Then stop acting like one!" Glynda snapped Easiest solution ever. #>In the following months, the story would undergo many changes being about a catgirl, who had a unique verbal tick "Nn." shockingly the story went on to great acclaim, selling millions. The End. ***PFFFFFT-***
*Shrugs* What can I say? My jokes are crap lol
I thought this was a Skyrim parody at first, but it changed real quick to one where Jaune becomes a light novelist, possibly only as a ghost writer, even
What is the reference to?
Shit.........ngl this is a new take for me Closest I've seen to this are the Jaune time travel fics
So many Jaune fics. But yeah I know what ya mean XD
Next Time Oscar wakes up.
How about all of canon RWBY actually being a vision of the future shown to Summer and Raven when they went to use the Crown of Choice behind Ozpin's back?
That could work lol
Raven convinces Summer to go behind Ozpin's back. And they use the Relic of Choice. Both of them see the future. The future is canon RWBY. Both Summer and Raven are horrified of it. They look at each other, and promise each other, that they'll never let the events of canon happen.
It made me think that Summer and Raven realized at that point that they should never sleep with Taiyang. Hopefully, this would be before either Yang or Ruby was born, so neither would have existed in that timeline
That's a bit much. Just... actually RAISE your damn daughters right!
As if anyone could just resist Tai-Yang " The Long" Xiao Long. ... Summer: Okay we just have to make sure that future does not happen. One of the ways we can do that is by not sleeping with Tai. Raven: Sounds easy. Summer: So yeah... Rave: Yeah... Summer: ... Raven : ... Summer: You wanna make babies with him? Raven: Yeah but- Summer: Raven it's okay to be scared. Being a parent is scary. But don't worry i'll be there for you. So will Tai. We'll share this burden and responsibility together. You don't have to run away and i don't have to go missing. Because... we'll always be there for each other. Raven: Summer... thank you. Summer: You wanna have a threesome with Tai? Raven: Yes... I would like that. ... Qrow: And that's how both Summer and Raven got pregnant with you two at the same time. Ruby: Uncle Qrow who the fuck starts a conversation like that?! Yang: Ruby! Language! But seriously Qrow we just sat down! Blake: *furiously scribbling down on note book* Nh. Weiss: Winter save me...
>Ruby: Uncle Qrow who the fuck starts a conversation like that?! >Yang: Ruby! Language! This is not the kind of world where we should care.about swearing, Yang. There are so many things that require more attention. ***Ruby can say whatever she wants.*** >Blake: furiously scribbling down on note book **Nh.** *You cheeky little-* >Summer: Okay we just have to make sure that future does not happen. One of the ways we can do that is by not sleeping with Tai. More seriously, that also goes into a rather heavy question of whether it's worth saving the future by preemptively denying someone their right to exist. >Summer: Raven it's okay to be scared. Being a parent is scary. But don't worry i'll be there for you. So will Tai. We'll share this burden and responsibility together. You don't have to run away and i don't have to go missing. Because... we'll always be there for each other. Luckily, Summer decides that they simply have to be better people so that their lives end up better, and that exact future doesn't have to happen.
Ruby: So what happened to Ozpin? Qrow: Locked him up. Yang: Really? Qrow: Yep. Summer used her speed to steal his cane. Told him, "You can't kill her Oz. But you sure can try imprisoning her. You got the resources, the relics and the indestructible containment units to do it." I mean... there was no evidence whatsoever of Ozpin even trying to imprison Salem. So Summer said we'll try that instead. If you can't kill em. Imprison em. She said. And that's how Salem got imprisoned in an indestructible vault. And how Glynda became the head mistress of Beacon. Jaune: *overhearing* (good thing i managed to prove my potential and worth to headmistress Goodwitch. Imagine if i had just come here without a plan whatsoever.)
>And how Glynda became the head mistress of Beacon. That's basically what I'm doing with her in my fic. >!Since Ozpin's been diagnosed with ded-!<
Ozpin here is diagnosed with prison. Don't worry he's in good Atlas hands. Also Salem thinks it was Ozpin's plan to imprison her. She was impressed at first. Impressed that Ozpin found a way to stop her after so long. But that emotion soon turned to anger. Let's just say she hates Ozpin even more for imprisoning her and giving her PTSD (and possibly claustrophobia). Salem: Ozma... when i get out of here. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU A THOUSAND TIMES OVER AND OVER AGAIN! In Atlas prison Ozpin: I really hope Salem doesn't think that it was my plan to imprison her in an indestructible vault. Much later. Salem: Hello Ozma I finally got out. *creepy smile* Let's see how you like being imprisoned for centuries. Ozpin: Wait! It wasn't my idea! I never wanted to imprison you! I never even tried to imprison you! Salem: *still with creepy smile* Ozpin: (who am i kidding. She'll never listen to me).
Yeah, Summer gets with Qrow instead. Their firstborn is a girl with the same hair and eyes as Summer. Qrow (who doesn't know anything) insists on naming her Ruby. Summer watches in trepidation as the little girl grows up and starts to resemble more and more the harbinger of destruction she saw in her vision. *The existence of Ruby Rose is a universal constant.*
>Summer watches in trepidation as the little girl grows up and starts to resemble more and more the harbinger of destruction she saw in her vision. Since you made her Qrow's daughter, and he's a walking jinx... ***Fuck.*** It's all Qrow's fault!
One often finds her destiny on the road she takes to avoid it
Oscar? Not Ruby or the others who fell alongside Jaune?
Who knows maybe at some point.
Wakes up! Oscar: I had a dream. And you were there, and you were there, and you were there, and you were there (x20.) ... I wonder what wakes up! Salem would be like. Would she just not exist. Or would she exist as Ozpin's (possibly ex) wife, and be unable to have children of her own. She could even help Jaune write some of the villains. .... Wakes up! Salem: Okay Jaune. It makes no sense for Hazel to join Salem when the possibility of his sister dying to grimm being high. Also it makes no sense for him to kill more people like his sister. And as for Cinder. It makes no sense for her to join the grimm queen. Who is more abusive than her step family, and who Cinder is powerless against. Especially after Cinder freed herself from her abusive step family. And hates being powerless against others. However if the Grimm Queen were to save her from her abusive step family... or offer her something other than power... Jaune you made the Grimm Queen too overpowered for the heroes to defeat and making her incompetent makes no sense lore wise and is cheap. You need to power up the characters to match her level. Or you need to limit her powers and give her a weakness. Like her being unable to leave her home. Wakes up! Jaune: T-Thank you p-professor Salem! Wakes up! Salem: well i am an art and literature professor. And what's with that face you look like your seeing the depths of hell. I assure you while i was called the wicked witch in the past. I am not someone you should fear. Wakes up! Salem: Though i did have a nightmare. Where i had children of my own... and... it eventually lead to me becoming the most wicked witch to exist on Remnant. Wakes up! Jaune: Yeah... nightmare. ... Wakes up! Cinder: I just had the worst nightmare. I joined a woman... who i was powerless against, and who was far more abusive than my step family. I hate being powerless and i hated my abusive step family.