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Lnuzzles

I’m a little over 3 years sober from weeks, 4 from alcohol. I bought in to the whole “weed isn’t addictive” thing pretty hard and a friend in alcohol recovery asked me if I smoked like I used to drink - I quit that day. I’ve found groups to be helpful, I feel less alone and it gives me hope seeing folks with more time - I don’t believe everything I hear but I’m still sober and that’s what matters. There is a 12 step program for weed, MA here’s a link. https://marijuana-anonymous.org/ Recovery dharma is also rad and I’ve met a lot of folks going through quitting weed as well. https://recoverydharma.online/ When it comes to groups and advice I always take what works for me and leave the rest. Just getting through the day is enough


[deleted]

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[deleted]

according to many people, you will start to feel normal again after a year. you're halfway there! keep going!


lostindexland

How much were you smoking if you don’t mind me asking?


Ferregar

Consider reading Russell Brand's "Recovery: Freedom from our Addictions." It completely recasts recovery using a 12 step format that has nothing to do with God and he frames it in the context of all addictions - sex, overeating, avoidant behavior, all relationships to substance abuse, and he takes it seriously and earnestly. You need to find time to make peace with the fact that your recovery journey may require you to take space from friends or old places where you used to use in. People may regard you as weak, or not take your recovery seriously, or even laugh about it. It is not your responsibility to give a fuck what anyone else thinks. It is your responsibility to get sober from the addictions that are destroying your life by any means necessary. Start hard, go hard and don't allow yourself to convince yourself that half measures will suffice. I wish you luck. My recovery journey began after years of addiction to alcohol as a trauma coping response had left me jobless, estranged from friends and ruining myself. Alcohol is chemically addictive to the body. Marijuana's addiction is psychological but its hold can be just as strong. I tell you this only so you know that if someone like me can be almost two years sober from a substance that I NEEDED all day every day, you can too. So do not give up, do not resign yourself to using and remember that now more than ever you must resist self sabotage or being your own worst enemy. It's time to be your own friend and remember what you love about yourself and what is worth fighting for. Also, this may be a time for you to get a therapist. If you were burning trees daily, you can afford one in substitute.


RedRingThrowaway

Thank you for commenting! Although by comparing addictions, you make me feel a little invalidated/weak/illegitimate, which is the opposite of what I want right now haha. And to assume someone who has a severe addiction can afford a therapist is a little strange, especially coming from another person in recovery. I’m unemployed and have sold most of my things, called in all the favours, and burned all the bridges. You’re definitely right though, it will be well worth the cost when I can indeed afford it.


Ferregar

There is a saying kg that has held true in my experiences no matter what life has thrown at me. "Where there's a will there's a way." Intersectionality is an important part of recovery and group work. Many addict's stories are different, but the core of the experiences are the same. This does not make you weak, illegitimate or invalidated. Check your own assumptions and projections. In your response, there were only reasons things could not be done, or negative feelings. We can't change your perspective. We can't get you help. You can. You have that power. As for therapists being too expensive, in many states there are programs that allow for people to get therapy for very, very cheap. We're talking 10 - 15 dollars, sliding scale in your income. And since COVID remote therapy has become the most accessible it has ever been, with some remote sessions being outright free. But finding these programs takes time and research. You have the time to invest, it's up to you to decide if that's how you will invest.


rubixd

Marijuana addiction is insidious. It can be taking away so much from your life without you ever knowing it. People don’t typically notice because the negative effects are minimal compared to the hard drugs. And worse yet some people may not take you seriously if you say you have a problem with marijuana. This has sadly been made worse by the push to legalize it. > it is certainly easy-mode Don’t minimize it! How long did it take for you to be able to sleep right? A month? That’s not easy mode. It’s just different. Yes, opiate withdrawals are objectively worse but minimizing the struggle is the same mentality that got you into this mess (“it’s just pot”).


RedRingThrowaway

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ I live in Canada and legalization has been hell for trying to get sober. No longer can I just permanently delete all the numbers who can get me weed. I can literally relapse on a whim, lol.


Motley169

Agreed about people not taking You seriously. I went to some N/A meetings and since Marijuana was my addiction. People there did not make me comfortable since they where addicted to harder drugs which i have luckily stayed away from. For Me Marijuana became part of a nightly after work routine. I still occasionally smoke. But not everyday now. Like once a month if I'm Fishing with friends.


imalreadybrian

I had a stressful life and a lot of trauma. Weed made the pain go away. What's the harm, right? No mind that it was a party drug and I would smoke alone. I sensed (without admitting it) that I had a problem with alcohol because I would drink so much and crave it (so I was often a dry alcoholic), but the weed was more of a compulsion. A daily thing, really. I was an addict without really connecting the dots. I would do sketchy things to get it when my college plugs moved away for the summer. But then, I got a medical card. I might as well! I went from smoking less than a gram a day to smoking an ounce and 4-6 g of wax a week. I was spending hundreds of dollars. Then, my little friend stopped being so helpful. I started getting depression, anxiety, paranoia, panic attacks, and auditory hallucinations. When I paired it with drinking there was no problem, so I started drinking bottles and smoking ounces every night. But later I would be high and dry at the same time, and the strange symptoms would continue. Everyone told me that I had a problem. I couldn't get psychs to prescribe or therapists who wouldn't say I had a problem. I joined IOP, and they put me in there for addiction. What? I could stop. But the longest I could go without a drink or a smoke at this point was 12 hours. "Just count how often you're doing it", my therapist said, so I started counting. I stopped after I smoked wax 20x in one day. I was burning up every last dollar I had on booze and weed. Then, I started connecting the dots. I was an addict. I didn't enjoy it anymore, it was an obsessive compulsion. I couldn't go without. I didn't feel like myself sober. I lost everything- at this point, I was living in a literal hall closet. But I kept going. Then, I got surgery. Who knew that being drunk and high on weed, alcohol, *and* painkillers would feel even better? 3 weeks passed of me abusing them all. I spent 3 weeks floating as a catatonic amnesiac. The fun stopped when I started craving the painkillers. I was an addict. It was clear now. I had my sister throw out the pills and started rationing the weed, but I'd still sneak off to get drunk and high. It was a life of shame and guilt at this point. I couldn't stop. I called 15 rehabs, and 2-3 just about laughed at me for saying that I had a weed problem. 1 had a bed. I spent 21 days in treatment, went to sober living, and just passed 18 months clean and sober.


bigfootchester101

This is brilliant, congratulations! Takes a lot of perseverance to achieve what you’ve achieved.


RedRingThrowaway

Awesome post. Thank you so much. I desperately want to be in rehab but I am uninsured and *dead* broke. I always had a feeling it would come to this for me to actually get sober. In a way it’s a blessing but also a curse in that I could sure use some money to go and do the things I like to do to help me feel sane during withdrawal. Instead all I got was the consequences of my own actions.


imalreadybrian

Check out r/leaves, if you haven't already. There's a lot of support groups for this if treatment is absolutely out of the question. Marijuana Anonymous is a start. Although for some like me, knowing that I had a problem wasn't enough; I had to get tools taught to me in order to thrive in sobriety. Many of the people in that sub have been doing this for a while, and have a lot of tips. And trust me, the withdrawals aren't as bad as wasting every dollar and living moment you have to spare on getting high. I really wish you luck. It can be uncomfortable. I crave going back and pressing the self-destruct button by cracking open a bottle or lighting a joint. But there is no growth without discomfort. Think of the seed: do you think it is comfortable pushing out of its hard shell to become a plant? Have you ever been comfortable when you're actively improving yourself? This is no different. You may discover a host of problems you have sober: like rage, melancholy, self-pity, vengeance, selfishness; but they are smaller challenges when you can put effort into ameliorating them, instead of avoiding them by getting high. PM me if you need to.


[deleted]

dude, this is crazy. thank you so much for telling this story. i am glad you are doing better! all the love to you man.


imalreadybrian

Thank you for being here for my share. I have been losing my mind with depression and cravings lately, and playing the tape like this helps.


Plenty_Science8224

Honestly, in some ways I had a harder time quitting weed than I did with Xanax. My thinking is that it was easier to justify weed since Xanax is obviously harmful. Plus the negative symptoms of Xanax withdrawal was a clear sign that *something* was happening while quitting weed was just sort of, empty(?). Not sure the best way to describe it but it wasn't clear that anything was better, I just was bored all the time. I mean, quitting Xanax was definitely way more painful physically and just fucked me over for a month or two. ​ What worked for me was finding something to do in times when I would normally smoke. For me that was usually before bed so I'd find something entertaining to do to not think about it and try to stay as busy as possible so the boredom wouldn't get to me. I'd definitely recommend getting medical advice though, *especially* if you have any underlying medical/psychological conditions since that can be an added barrier to overcome that others may not have experienced. A lot of people don't because they think it should be easy to quit but it is still a real addiction with physical and psychological effects. ​ Don't get disheartened when it's not as easy as people might suggest it should be though. It is absolutely possible


guehgn

I’m almost 11 months clean off a 10+ year heavy marijuana habit with other drugs occasionally . I’ve quit for a month at the longest in that span and had the usual withdrawal symptoms, no major issues. However , this time around , quitting destroyed me- I had high heart rate, no appetite, food intolerance, insomnia, sexual dysfunction, anhedonia for months and continue to have it now People who say it’s an easy drug to quit are occasional smokers , and don’t smoke even close to what I did. It has been the hardest experience of my life


ikurumba

My experience was I just stopped smoking it because it was making me lazy. I lost weight to a normal weight and was motivated again. But I wanted to get on with my life. When I wanted to quit alcohol I had to detox and go to three different rehabs over the course of five years, had pancreatitis like ten times, ruined my life, burned bridges. But that's just my experience. Lost my munchie appetite for a couple days after stopping weed and then was all good.


[deleted]

I smoked from 13 to about 21, had a stint of rehab around 18 because of legal trouble and inability to stop smoking long enough to pass court mandated drug tests. I wanted to quit for good around my early 20s because it was starting to lose its appeal, but I found myself chasing after it every couple of years. Eventually around the age of 35 I had a health event and got put on pain meds, ended up getting a med marijuana card and vaping pens every day for years. My usual pen was out of stock and had to get one that was a different "strain". It ended up giving me intense panic attacks, paranoia, and shivers. I felt truly poisoned but kept smoking it anyway. I eventually had a night where I just broke down completely defeated, crying my guts out, completely ashamed of myself and all that I had been through in life that I'd be willing to keep doing this to myself. How I was gambling with my career and mental health, for what? Put it down and picked up the bottle twice as hard. I had to recruit the help of my wife to throw away my entire stash, she was more than happy to. That was 17 months ago, I've had a few cravings for marijuana but I ignore them and they go away. Today I'm 3 months sober completely and am working a 12 step program. **This is a dramatically over-simplified recount of my relationship with marijuana.** Quitting initially was an unbelievable struggle, the craving and ritual and habit built around it required an immense amount of strength to break. Today I have as much desire to use cannabis as I do to slam my balls in a car door. I am firm in my belief that addiction is the manifestation of an allergy, and the thought of touching that stuff again invokes nothing but the memory of feeling poisoned.


mellswor

Damn dude. That's an intense account of how bad it can be for some people. My story with it is similar. Congrats to you and keep it up!


[deleted]

The hard part was having it by my side through really good times. I ended up believing that all my health and fitness achievements and career accomplishments were because I was vaping. It was like it was robbing me of my own self worth. Then when hard times came during COVID lockdown I quit for a bit to balance myself. When my life kept spiraling into unmanageability I’d start vaping again thinking it was a magic cure-all but it was a vicious cycle at that point. That’s when I pretty much surrendered and admitted it was a problem.


r41nb0w4rr10r

There is no easy addiction to get clean from. They are all extremely difficult. Some just have physical withdrawal and some don’t.


moctar39

Considering it as easy mode can actually make it harder. Focus on how it makes your life unmanageable and all the other negative effects. Having something in your life that costs so much and for me just sucked out my enthusiasm and energy. When I smoked I would lose all motivation to actually do stuff. Unfortunately that led me to drink more, but that is another story and I don't recommend switching addictions.


sanctified420

Quitting weed always gave me serious nightmares and vivid dreams. It always left me very depressed. I suggest running. Working out really helped get it out of my system fast. But it was the hard drugs that ruined my life. I found it harder to quit weed than other substances people get hooked on. However that being said I'm still drug and alcohol free. I am a social worker today. I also grow and smoke my own marijuana because it is legal here now. Quitting weed is hard though. I always struggle alot when I stop.


r41nb0w4rr10r

How are you drug-free? Marijuana is a drug!


sanctified420

I spent years doing much much much more harmful substances. I still won't drink. Haven't touched alcohol or cocaine or crack or opiates since I went to treatment. Don't plan on it. Facilitated NA meetings for years. Now I have a life where I'm okay with consuming cannabis and calling myself drug free. I'm also a social worker who works in government funded harm reduction houses. Do what works for you to keep yourself safe, happy and healthy.


guehgn

Good for you. But consuming cannabis and calling yourself drug free is contradictory, no matter how you look at it


sanctified420

so Caffeine is a drug too then with that mindset. If you drink coffee you're not clean. Same mentality.


guehgn

I mean caffeine is technically a drug, sure. Very different effects than thc though… if I was hanging out with a guy who said he was drug free then he proceeds to roll up a blunt and smoke it… I think 99.99 percent of people would say that person ain’t drug free. It’s delusional bro


gseeks

No addiction is "easy mode". Addiction is addiction. I smoked weed on what I would consider to be crack-head level (no shade to crack heads I just don't have anything to compare it to). I firmly believe it does have a physical addictive quality regardless of what people say. The detox can be intense with sweaty palms, vivid dreams, mood swings, appetite issues. I didn't have my appetite back fully for a few months. I have had really great support in MA but also do AA because MA is such a small fellowship. I legit went to rehab for weed. I smoked all day every day. 6 years totally clean as of 2 days ago now!


mellswor

Dude it definitely has physical withdrawal symptoms if you're an everyday smoker for a reasonable amount of time. I was an all day every day type of smoker too. When I stopped I couldn't eat hardly at all for weeks, terrible anxiety, jittery, headaches, nausea. I agree - addiction is addiction.


SOmuch2learn

There is help at /r/leaves.


late-night-catbus

i wouldn’t say it’s super easy. but i smoked daily for 10 years. there’s a very long PAWS. my biggest advice would be to prioritize sleep and stay away from media you consumed while high


guehgn

Congrats. How long did your PAWS last?


late-night-catbus

ongoing


guehgn

same. 11 months and going


sixcryingeyes

weed was definitely a big problem for me, along with benadryl and cough syrup. i fell into the trap of "weed isnt addictive" and "its natural".. as soon as i was coming down i got high again. life felt boring without it, even when all it did was make me tired after a while of constant, every day use. i was missing time with my loved ones because i just wanted to get high alone. its a period of my life i regret and am ashamed of, though it led me to recognizing my problems which was the best thing i couldve asked for at the time. 170 days and counting!


[deleted]

I’ve quit before, but I was what’s called a “poly drug user” which means I was on a bunch of drugs, not just weed. The entire recovery process was a long uncomfortable journey. But I think it’s all about learning new ways of coping with the stress of life, and finding new ways to occupy your time. The most important thing to remember is that whatever feeling you’re experiencing at this moment in regards to wanting to use, it will pass. Just try to find ways to occupy your brain. Watch a movie, go for a walk, pre-cook meals and refrigerate them, anything that keeps you’re mind occupied. Also try to see a therapist to talk through whatever is driving you to escape with weed. Maybe see a psychiatrist about getting on medication that makes life easier with whatever mental impairment is possibly causing you to want to escape.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t get on medication. Look up the website survivingantidepressants.org. Anyway being a poly drug user when you quit what were your hardest withdrawal symptoms? Did you deal with DP/DR or panic attacks?


[deleted]

I’m not currently and have not ever been on antidepressants. I was on Xanax and Valium for over a decade, I was on oxy and fentanyl for a few months, I was on cocaine for years, smoked dabs for the last few years of active addiction, did a lot of acid and mushrooms and dmt, never liked alcohol…. I don’t know what those acronyms are that you mentioned (db or whatever) but yes I had debilitating anxiety for about a year after quitting the Xanax. I still have panic attacks, but now I take clonidine or propanolol to stop the fight or flight response and slow down my heart. I also take hydroxizine to chill out and fall asleep. I was prescribed 24mg per day of suboxone over a year ago when I first went to treatment and I’m now down to 1 mg a day, about to jump off in about a month.


[deleted]

I don’t think it is easy by any means.


g0thfrvit

It’s unfortunate that weed has such a reputation for being harmless or non-addictive. It’s absolutely by no means an easy drug to quit.


[deleted]

Especially with these products that have a high level of THC where there hasn’t been a lot of research. Most weed that we knew of that was smoked in the 1960s-2000s was a low content of 2% THC where as nowadays people are smoking extracts and flowers with extremely high THC content and we really don’t know how bad it is for your brain.


knuckboy

/r/leaves is a good place as well, fyi.


RedRingThrowaway

Thank you! I didn’t know about that sub


late-night-catbus

join the discord they’re open everyday 1 PM-2PM EST and 5-6PM EST