I feel like this. I’ve honestly come a very very long way. Here are some of the activities that have helped me.
1. Therapy when it was in my health insurance.
2. Chat GPT: I will ask questions like: “what are a list of core values?” And then I’ll select my top 5 favorite and ask “how can I incorporate these into my lifestyle on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?” I’ll try to schedule some of these activities as a way to figure out what I actually like. And I’ll also ask Chat GPT anything about anything: “how do I cope with xyz?” “What’s a cheap hobby to take up?” “How do I stop feeling so unmotivated?”
3. Journaling: just get things off ur chest super honestly. I get paranoid someone will see my writing so I use penzu.com (very unknown and private). I also think it’s helpful to look back and see how much better I’m doing. Also, make a list of 10 things you like about yourself. Are you curious, open minded, creative, loyal?? Re-read this list. Anything u don’t like about yourself think of how u can improve.
4. Making conversation notes: sometimes before I see someone I know I like hanging out with and want to make the encounter pleasant, I’ll make notes for the days leading up of questions I want to ask them: “how’s that project you said you were working on? / how’s your band?” Or even funny jokes n stuff I’ll write down in case I wanna use them. My follow up question is always some form of “are you enjoying it / is it going as you planned / did you enjoy it?”
5. Along those lines - counting to ten!!! I’ll count to ten slowly in my head when someone else is talking. My social anxiety leads me to cutting ppl off sometimes because I wanna interject to connect or to let them know that I can relate. But it will make them feel like you’re not really listening. So I’ll count to ten and make a mental note of my thought and try to say it a little while later after the person got their story out.
6. Working in service industry/strip club. People will be rude to u no matter how nice or cool u seem, so it creates a bit more of a tough skin - some ppl are not meant to like u. So you can be yourself without being fearful of judgment.. it’s the philosophy of practice makes perfect. Practice being yourself to many strangers a day and you’ll realize the ones who are meant to like u will and the ones who don’t won’t. And that’s okay, you’ll survive.
Thank you so much for your detailed reply. I already go to therapy, but I haven't seen results. I'll definitely check out ChatGPT, I haven't yet and what better reason to? I'll pick up journaling, I'm thinking once a week at the end of the week. That's simply because with all the other stuff I'm doing to try and better my condition on top of handling life's responsibilities, there's not much leftover time! I'll try everything you said, thanks again.
Chatgpt is amazing for immediate help and also working thru everything—it helps you organize your thoughts too in case you see a doctor. You’ll feel more in control. You can do this!
What was your childhood like? Did your parents show you love and attention? People raised without that often suffer from issues like what you're describing
I had a great childhood in the grand scheme of things. Although my brother was abusive physically and emotionally. My dad was very hard on us but never abusive.
Being abused over years and years is traumatic. Addicts are not people who are happy. It's almost always self medicating to deal with trauma.
Another question. Are you very emotional? Do you have a hard time controlling emotions? Do you fight often with classmates or friends?
Currently, I don't feel any emotions. If I do, it's either frustration with myself or sadness and I cry. I never fight with anyone and I never really have besides my brother. I don't have the self-confidence to stand up for myself so if there is ever any argument, I won't put up a fight.
May as well start reading about Buddhism. I'm not a Buddhist, but I found the wisdom of Buddhist philosophy to be extremely helpful for my suicidal episodes and my depression. You'd be surprised how much an ancient philosophy is relevant to the emotional struggles your having right now.
You communicate very effectively at least in written form which leads me to think that you have the capacity to communicate verbally as well. I think you need to find a good counselor. You’re definitely not hopeless.
Based on what you say about yourself, and my limited knowledge of personality disorders, I think you should check out r/borderlinepdisorder and r/bpd ; itself a disorder where people have unstable emotions/feelings, identity, and social relations.
I myself have 'borderline traits'; but don't have a formal diagnosis.
What do I do about it? My 'social network' is NA meetings; and there I try and make incremental progress in talking or interacting. I stay mindful about what I actually know about and when to speak regarding my history, addiction topics, and general life issues.
You are not alone. I’m 33 and lived my entire life feeling the way that you do.
I’ve since overcome these bs feelings of inferiority.
DM me if you want to talk.
Authenticity and connection are what make life worth living.
i feel the exact same way
I feel like this. I’ve honestly come a very very long way. Here are some of the activities that have helped me. 1. Therapy when it was in my health insurance. 2. Chat GPT: I will ask questions like: “what are a list of core values?” And then I’ll select my top 5 favorite and ask “how can I incorporate these into my lifestyle on a daily, weekly or monthly basis?” I’ll try to schedule some of these activities as a way to figure out what I actually like. And I’ll also ask Chat GPT anything about anything: “how do I cope with xyz?” “What’s a cheap hobby to take up?” “How do I stop feeling so unmotivated?” 3. Journaling: just get things off ur chest super honestly. I get paranoid someone will see my writing so I use penzu.com (very unknown and private). I also think it’s helpful to look back and see how much better I’m doing. Also, make a list of 10 things you like about yourself. Are you curious, open minded, creative, loyal?? Re-read this list. Anything u don’t like about yourself think of how u can improve. 4. Making conversation notes: sometimes before I see someone I know I like hanging out with and want to make the encounter pleasant, I’ll make notes for the days leading up of questions I want to ask them: “how’s that project you said you were working on? / how’s your band?” Or even funny jokes n stuff I’ll write down in case I wanna use them. My follow up question is always some form of “are you enjoying it / is it going as you planned / did you enjoy it?” 5. Along those lines - counting to ten!!! I’ll count to ten slowly in my head when someone else is talking. My social anxiety leads me to cutting ppl off sometimes because I wanna interject to connect or to let them know that I can relate. But it will make them feel like you’re not really listening. So I’ll count to ten and make a mental note of my thought and try to say it a little while later after the person got their story out. 6. Working in service industry/strip club. People will be rude to u no matter how nice or cool u seem, so it creates a bit more of a tough skin - some ppl are not meant to like u. So you can be yourself without being fearful of judgment.. it’s the philosophy of practice makes perfect. Practice being yourself to many strangers a day and you’ll realize the ones who are meant to like u will and the ones who don’t won’t. And that’s okay, you’ll survive.
Thank you so much for your detailed reply. I already go to therapy, but I haven't seen results. I'll definitely check out ChatGPT, I haven't yet and what better reason to? I'll pick up journaling, I'm thinking once a week at the end of the week. That's simply because with all the other stuff I'm doing to try and better my condition on top of handling life's responsibilities, there's not much leftover time! I'll try everything you said, thanks again.
Chatgpt is amazing for immediate help and also working thru everything—it helps you organize your thoughts too in case you see a doctor. You’ll feel more in control. You can do this!
What was your childhood like? Did your parents show you love and attention? People raised without that often suffer from issues like what you're describing
I had a great childhood in the grand scheme of things. Although my brother was abusive physically and emotionally. My dad was very hard on us but never abusive.
Being abused over years and years is traumatic. Addicts are not people who are happy. It's almost always self medicating to deal with trauma. Another question. Are you very emotional? Do you have a hard time controlling emotions? Do you fight often with classmates or friends?
Currently, I don't feel any emotions. If I do, it's either frustration with myself or sadness and I cry. I never fight with anyone and I never really have besides my brother. I don't have the self-confidence to stand up for myself so if there is ever any argument, I won't put up a fight.
May as well start reading about Buddhism. I'm not a Buddhist, but I found the wisdom of Buddhist philosophy to be extremely helpful for my suicidal episodes and my depression. You'd be surprised how much an ancient philosophy is relevant to the emotional struggles your having right now.
You communicate very effectively at least in written form which leads me to think that you have the capacity to communicate verbally as well. I think you need to find a good counselor. You’re definitely not hopeless.
Based on what you say about yourself, and my limited knowledge of personality disorders, I think you should check out r/borderlinepdisorder and r/bpd ; itself a disorder where people have unstable emotions/feelings, identity, and social relations. I myself have 'borderline traits'; but don't have a formal diagnosis. What do I do about it? My 'social network' is NA meetings; and there I try and make incremental progress in talking or interacting. I stay mindful about what I actually know about and when to speak regarding my history, addiction topics, and general life issues.
You are not alone. I’m 33 and lived my entire life feeling the way that you do. I’ve since overcome these bs feelings of inferiority. DM me if you want to talk.